The wife is awful. She's a social worker and hears that the crazy sister FRONT KICKED A CHILD and faked an affair to ruin her sister's marriage and STILL WANTS OP TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. The wife is honestly dangerous to anyone she wants to "help"
I know from experience that being a social worker does NOTHING to prevent inherent bias from intruding. Especially if they have their own unresolved issues, more so if they got into social work BECAUSE of said issues.
Very true. I know somebody who is disabled, housebound and abused by his parents. Social services don’t give a $h!t and his own Aunt is a social worker, knows about what it going on and also sides with the abusive parents.
The wife is gonna need a child to die as an act of her directly forcing the family narrative to understand by half how deluded she is. That honestly is a price too steep.
The wife thought she knew better. When dragging him to unwanted therapy didn't work, she thought springing a surprise visit from his sister was a good idea. This woman is beyond lucky OP is forgiving of her transgressions. 🙄
I've lost interest in love because women think they are better,cheat, try to get you fired or arrested.. Or possibly unalived. I worry about my future and my purpose. No love, I'm happy just being by myself and modern men need to start walking away more often. That and OP's wife need's a wake up call or a divorce. because I would have divorced her and gotten a restraining order against my sister.. or bought a home defense tool and waited for her to invade my home.
@@CozyCabinLife5301 Almost comical if it weren't so sad that you think this behavior is limited to females. It is actually not a gender related phenomenon, and the males invariably do far more damage to their victims.
Audrey better thank whatever guardian angel she has because she almost lost her marriage. OP is better than me because I would've left them all to deal with the same shit I had to go through. Hopefully, things get better for him
My mother and sister are both social workers and work with those with mental illness. Because I also have a mental illness, they feel the need to tell me over and over again how "good" I am compared to their patients. Social workers really do think the world is about stabilizing everything, oof
What is actually worse, is that she works with children, being a social worker for a school. I'm just getting sick imagining her forcing every victim into "forgiving" their abusers, because "faaaaaaamilyyyy". I don't know, but from the story, she seems to be either incredibly stupid or actually evil. If you ask me, she has no business being a social worker. She lacks empathy and understanding.
Maybe, but I will say my dad was a CPS worker for more than 40 years and he is the exact opposite of a boundary smasher/meddler. His job was so stressful the last thing he ever wanted was more drama outside of work.
@@MdMzzz she wants her own husband and child to build a relationship with someone who FRONT KICKED A CHILD, her own nephew in fact. The wife is dangerous and should not work with children.
My high school bully actually went to school to become a social worker. I was shocked at first but with hindsight, it's actually very fitting considering all the vulnerable people she'll have power over.
Audrey is a slimy backstabber who's going to do the same crap to her daughter, "oh honey you should forgive your bullies bc their moms are my friends" It's like the Ashley and Kyle story all over again-
OP Should really, seriously consider divorcing his wife. She stomped all over his boundaries and honestly even endangered their child by trying to force a relationship with an abuser.
If she's willing to do that to her husband, think about the poor kids she works with. "Yes, I know he sexually abused you, but think of family!"
8 місяців тому+7
@@MorningRose370 Exactly "Oh your grandpa likes to play a game call hide the sausage, well that is terrible but think about forgiving hm BECUZ FAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMIIIILLLLLLY!"
Wait so the wife heard that the crazy sister literally FRONT KICKED a child and she still wants to get in contact with her and have a relationship with her ? What The fact that OP hasn't divorced her is surprising
The wife likely got pulled in by the crazy sister's sob story and think her past pains(which OP never knew about) would make them relate and bond. What a crock of shit.
That's a very pessimistic view. It sounds like they are actually remorseful. And Lisa is now hated by all of the family for her actions, so it's basically a win/win so far. If OP came back and was saying it was all a trap, then the pessimism would be warranted.
@@ShadowReignhart then why do they keep ignoring his wishes they kept sending letters to OP even after he told them to leave him alone, they planned to ambush the wife and then they ignored when he said only his sister's show up to the pub. If i was OP I would have left as soon as I saw the Husbands.
Yeah, this whole thing skeeves me out. The wife is more interested in image than in her own spuses feelings. The sisters want to make themselves feel better and don't care about op. The only one's who seem to be doing alright are the parents who stayed out of things out of respect for op despite what they may want. Op is definitely being manipulated, and I have a feeling it's all gonna blow up. I hope op really does get into therapy, so he has someone who just focuses on him. His wife sucks.
@@ShadowReignhart They've all disrespected him and his boundaries at every turn. The only person who seems to have actually care for OP and his boundaries from the beginning is his mom, who said this was all a bad idea before it happened. Even at the end he wasn't happy he agreed to plans with them while drunk. That not a "win/win". That's a "this is either about to start getting a bit better, or shits gonna hit the fan."
My goodness. I feel so sorry for OP for finding out about the levels and levels of his wife’s betrayal. I genuinely hope he at least gives some serious consideration to divorce even if he doesn’t decide to go for it.
Yea, or at least keep her in the "dog house" till she realizes how bad she messed up... My SO has a strained relationship with his family and while I did push a little bit for reconciliation I would never overstep like that just to "fix" things. It has to be the abused persons choice or else it will never work... (being from a happy home I found it odd that he cut his family out but after getting to know them I understand why and I have stopped asking him to reconnect with his sucky parents...)
Why did the sisters even allow this that’s so gross and the teachers are just as wrong smh That’s awful and the wife is just as wrong you don’t owe anyone anything especially not forgiveness
“The sisters” as in the other children involved? They were ALL kids, not just OP. Why don’t their parents have more responsibility here than the kids they were responsible for?
@@BunnyQueen97 Let's do simple math here. OP's torment really started from 5th grade (around 10 years old) and his oldest sister is 9 years older than him. Please give more justification why the oldest sister was innocent victim in this story?
@@ps9501 she’s not an “innocent victim”, don’t twist my words 🙄 my question is this - why are OP’s parents less responsible for all of this than OP’s (and we’re employing your incredible math skills here lol) 19 year old sister? Who’s kids are these again?? The bully sister was still a child and so was OP, so they BOTH should have been supervised way more than they obviously were by their careless mom and dad. Explains why they decided to just toss money at the issue in the end by moving OP away and paying for his therapy 🙄
@@BunnyQueen97 Every comment what i have seen you leave you defended women in the story, once again you did not disappoint. I'm actually surprised you didn't call that psychopathic sister the victim 😂😂
@@ps9501 lmao why are you obsessed with me? Creepy. Once again, I’m not defending the sisters, I’m criticizing the parents, which no one ever seems to do. Everyone’s congratulating mom and dad like they were perfect and OP has them on a pedestal, but he froze his siblings out? It was LITERALLY his parent’s job to notice this was happening and put a stop to it for the sake of all their kids, and they failed and their family is in tatters. Blame was incorrectly placed here from the beginning and it snowballed from there 🤷🏽♀️ if you can’t look past “tHe WoMeN” to see that, you have issues.
People just do not seem to understand what true bullying does to people. It causes PTSD. Do you understand that? It literally breaks your brain from being constantly on edge every second for years wondering when the next attack is coming. I only survived because I had a great home life. I truly do not know how kids in the social media age make it. I am 40. Yesterday, while driving, a song came on the radio that was playing decades ago while my bullies beat me in a classroom (the terrified sub tried to help, but she was out of her element). What I need you all to understand is that when I heard that song, I wasn’t 40 any more. I was back in the classroom being attacked. I could see the speckled design of the floor tiles and remembered the colors of my bullies’ shoes as the kicked me in the face. I was able to turn off the radio, pull over, and managed not to vomit, although I did cry a long time. That was ONE incident when I was 11. It went on for three years. Every single minute I was at school, I knew something was coming. I was on high alert 8 hours a day, five days a week. Even with therapy, part of my brain is permanently broken. I just have coping skills to live with it. OP’s wife was clearly never bullied. People hear “bullying” and think kids making rude comments or just mildly picking on others. That’s not bullying. Bullying is a persistent, daily, unending cycle of harassment, cruelty, and sometimes physical beatings. I can’t really cut OP’s wife any slack though, for two reasons: 1. She works in a damn school 2. She did not hear OP saying that this was a HARD boundary. I hope they can work it out, but I personally find it divorce worthy.
Yeah I had concerns too when he mentioned she works in a school. If this is how she treats her husband with so much background information, how does she treat her students? Does she think she can force a bully and their victim to reconcile?
This! Bully’s also often play the victim too. People who haven’t been bullied don’t get this. They’re master manipulators, what gets me is people think they grow out of it when they become adults? Lol nope, they’re probably that abusive boss you’re working for.
Fuck me, i've never heard these feeling be put to words so well before. I think i'll just copy and paste it whenever someone asks me "Whaaaaat you didn't like school? School is the best time of your life!" Eugh.
@@wilczus222 I go way out of my way to tell young people that the saying, “This is the best time of your life,” is a lie. Things are SOOOO much better once you’re an adult. It drove me to self-harm as a young person thinking that this was peak living and things were only going to get worse. And it wasn’t remotely true. Every year gets better for me. Thus far, being 40 is the best.
Story 1: Audrey needs to take a moment and realize that boundaries go up for a REASON. No, you don't need to reconcile everyone. And the parents needed to get Lisa in serious therapy a long time ago. She went on to do damage to all of her family including the other sisters.
Absolutely this! My husband protected me from my messed up family, he didn't try to get us to reconcile.. the wife is absolutely sucky..he should leave her..
I don't believe the bully was ever actually abused. She's already lied about that to everyone claiming OP was abusing her. Her word can no longer be trusted and I do not believe she has ever been a victim of anything. She's nothing but a bully. And wife is just as bad. I cannot imagine treating my husband the way wife did. It's horrifying
"you owe them forgiveness, you need to forgive"... No, you don't. My therapist told me some time ago something profound - I need to come to terms with, and stop feeling anything negative about all abuse, trauma and unfairness I experienced in my life, and forgiveness will come on it's own, without anyone forcing me to. I think about it often. EDIT: and as the story came to an end, OP definitely has to either withdraw or go back to therapy. His anger WILL bubble trough with some kind of blow up OR he'll end up resentful towards everyone in his family.
I already get pretty miffed when a coworker tries to be helpful but just makes my job harder. This is all just wack. I'd be in a spare room if not out of the house for a bit.
The only happy part of the first story is when Lisa proved she was a monster, while damaging the sister's relationship. I would have divorced Audrey because she is a terrible wife.
She a terible mother aswell bribgibg a known convicted child abuser into her house with hernown child their thats child endagerment and possibly violation of conditions of the sisters sentencing
OP is STILL being bullied, just not by Lisa. His sisters are so manipulative by tracking down OP's wife and OP's wife is a bully by basically forcing him to forgive people he's not ready too. From the end of the post, it really sounds like OP isn't ready to forgive any of them yet, but he's being bullied into it by his wife, sisters/their husbands and even his mom. I feel so bad for him
Honestly, I don't feel sorry for him. He's stupid and he's letting himself to get roped into it again. Should've divorced the wife first chance he got after his wife admitted what she did. He only has himself to blame for any hurt forthcoming.
@@SamasBananas1 Yeah, before he made the decision to bend over again and get screwed, he was the victim. And he gets to continue being one. He gets his fucked up version of a happily ever after. We do call it victim blaming but what can we do when the victim himself won't distance from the toxic elements of his life, despite the number of strangers telling him otherwise. You and I both know that the wife considers this a win so what are the odds that she'll eventually push for reconciliation with the sister in a later date, huh? I throw in "doormat" in there for good measure.
@happilyeverafter7703 Somehow I don't think you have much experience with abuse or victims of abuse bc, if you did and still lacked this much compassion, I'd be concerned
It still feels like OP is getting the short end of the stick. Like, what did he gain from all these lies, deceit, and manipulation? Wife is probably patting herself on the back thinking she did a good job by stabbing her husband in the back. The sisters get to unload 20+ years of guilt they felt for not believing OP. The parents get their children to become close towards each other. But what did OP get? “Thanks for validating me after nearly three decades, so glad you finally believe me after getting a taste of what I went through for all of my childhood. I’ll put away my own hurt feelings to make everyone else feel better about themselves.” I don’t know about OP but if I were him I’d demand that they all set the record straight and put Lisa on blast for everything she did. There’s no telling how much OP has lost because of her spreading lies and rumors about him and it would be a nice gesture if they’d clear his name and warn people about how dangerous she is. Honestly, everyone in his story besides OP and his daughter suck major donkey ass.
That's exactly what pissed me off in this story. Felt like everyone else "won" in this story. His trashy sister didn't believe him until the psycho sister starter attacking them as well. I would avoid the whole family like plague
By the sounds of it they have but only after they themselves were victims of her Honestly it could go either way by letting go & restoring most of the family it means his child will have a larger support group etc which may be beneficial On the other hand they used manipulation tactics to restore the family so I'd be more tempted to go the route "I accept your apology & don't hate you but I have little to no love for you either & don't want you in my life or my child's"
Listening to the story again and everyone is a lot worse than what I initially thought. Sisters knew about the abuse but didn’t do anything, only when Lisa turned her crazy on them did they actually do something. Everyone was conspiring behind OP’s back to force a reconciliation, everyone has been lying and trickle truthing him the entire time. The posts were made 6 years ago and it’s horrifying to think that he still has these people in his life.
Well, OP's getting that and a dying liver, as he is coping with the situation by becoming an alcoholic. Can't wait for the second blowout when the family discovers the damage their forced reunion's caused.
This is divorce worthy. There is no coming back from this. She brought your former abuser into your house and brought her around your kid as well. Divorce her and file for full custody.
honestly, OP should've used names or fake names for all the sisters if only to keep things clear. the wife didn't bring lisa the abuser into his house, she brought the oldest sister. although if you call ignorance, abuse... well go ahead I guess.
@@Zhajn That's not just "ignorance" they chose to believe psychopath sister every time, until she started attacking THEM. OP himself said that sister was a good liar, but her lies started to crumple when you looked closer and asked for details
This is one of those situations where everyone other than OP (and maybe his parents; they seem to have the ability to think) will think that everything is all better now. Since they said, "Sorry," OP will be all better, and they don't need to feel guilty about how they mistreated their brother for decades. At some point in the future, they're going to get mad at OP because the childhood trauma doesn't magically go away because the people that perpetrated it apologized.
I hope Audrey realizes how incredibly lucky she is at the moment - she pushed VERY far and could have ruined that whole relationship and made things worse between OP’s family. I hope she takes the time to reflect on this and checks herself In the future, but I’m worried that him agreeing to see them encouraged her to keep pushing down the line
Oh she knows & she also knows she can get away with it in the future since she's faced absolutely zero consequences in this. This was from 6 years ago so wouldn't surprise me if they're divorced cuz she tried it again but this time he learned his lesson. Audrey sounds incredibly manipulative just like lisa.
She did ruin the marriage. He will never fully trust her again. She has hubris...thinks she knows better. Only two things end Love. Hubris and lack of trust. The marriage will end.
"Hey, you know a great way to earn forgiveness and prove you've changed to the victim of our bullying? Let's relentlessly harass them and ignore every single one of their boundaries!" Dood, your wife is unbelievably horrible. I can't believe you accepted that troll back. I'm horrified she's a social worker. I can only imagine how many lives she's ruined. None of those sisters deserve even the barest sliver of respect. This is tragic. They all sound manipulative and psychotic.......
Including his parents, as, how could the bullying go so far, if they were really protecting OP? Why didn’t they take that sister to therapy? To a psychiatrist? They knew she was a horrible bully but they still allowed her friends, teachers and even her sisters to believe what she was saying. They did not really defend OP, and OP was so severely abus3d that he thinks they were like his salvation.
"My wife is a school social worker" FUCKING CALLED IT. Seven years working as a teacher and still haven't met one who wasn't all candies and rainbows and "wowee alrighty, let's all group hug".
I know there are social workers out there who are good at what they do, but others seem to think that life is a Hallmark or Disney movie. One family member constantly makes life a living hell for another family member or two family members have a major falling out. They go their own way and refuse to speak to one another for several years. Circumstances bring the family members back into each others' lives. Eventually the horrible family member admits to the other that they only mistreated them because they were jealous because they knew deep down how amazing they actually were or that because of some major tragedy, one was unable to face the other. The family members kiss and make up and life is good from here on out. Welcome to something called the Real World.
@@whitneybennett4857 Lol, "Hallmark movie plot driven" sounds like a good description. Yes I'm sure there must be good ones out there. No niche is made of saints, many of us teachers aren't a delight either. But Jesus, school social workers do seem to embrace their stereotype.
I feel really bad for OP. I feel like he still needs to keep his distance from everyone still. The mental gymnastics that they put him through and the fact that he never actually got a chance to tell his family (including wife) how much they failed him and still continue to do so is upsetting me. I hope he's able to unpack that in therapy.
I seriously hope that OP doesn't build a relationship with these people again. They would've never believed them had the abuser not accused the Husband and kicked the 3 year old. They ONLY believed OP when it was their families being torn apart and them that were suffering. I also hope they have a serious discussion with their wife. Because she ABSOLUTELT crossed some boundaries that should never ever under any circumstances get crossed.
@@impishrebel5969 It really, truly does. I get that she's coming from a good place with her intentions, but she's ABSOLUTELY not going about it the right way whatsoever.
And the wife learned friggin nothing. This isn't over. Once crazy sister gets 'better' and tries to reconcile they'll be all over it and expect him to cave once more.
I hope he makes an escape then, but then he runs the risk of his daughter being raised by all those people (shudder). Every day must feel horrible for him, this forced reconciliation, while his wife blinks stupidly and doesn't understand why he doesn't appreciate this "gift" of family. I'm seething on his behalf, because he's so trapped by people who can't or won't see what he sees. That door should never have been opened. At this point, it's probably ONLY his anger that's keeping him alive, and love for his daughter. All else is probably numbness.
OP should have informed his wife and the rest of his family that their pressure campaign to force reconciliation constituted a whole new form of bullying. As a victim of childhood bullying, I found the actions of literally everyone in the story apart from OP infuriating.
OP's parents are honestly pretty great, sending the kids to different schools, making sure they have distance and that they send them to therapy. The sisters are not good, but the parents did good with what they were given
@@JDM-is-my-name Yeah, some "misstep". Like giving the known abuser a picture of the victim's family and telling them where to find them. Sure, just a small misstep, right ?
@@MdMzzz the one who met with the wife was the oldest sister, not the abuser :) I get that it is a bit confusing, but it was a different sister who found Aubrey
They tried their best in the situation that they couldn’t control and made the best decisions they could for the op and Lisa with the information that they had
There was something very unsatisfying about this ending. I can't shake the feeling that the wife, sisters, and even the parents (mom at least) got away with pressuring OP into doing things he might not want or be ready for.
I'm actually so infuriated for op's behalf with ow everyone, ESPECIALLY his wife threw him under the bus and just undermined his feelings. What Audrey did is worthy of divorce/annulment.
100% a divorce worthy offense. This abuse happened _years_ before the wife entered OP's life and she never saw the effects it had on him in his youth. Its easy for her to try and play peacemaker after hearing the sister's sob story because she doesn't know this situation on a personal level. That OP isn't interested in a relationship between his sisters is the bottom line, end of story. The wife is stepping completely out of place.
Yeah, I definitely don't think she's doing this to help OP whether she thinks she is or not. She just wants the ego boost of knowing she was the superhero who "mended a broken family."
This was 6 yrs ago I wonder what's happened in all that time? I hope OP finally grew a spine & divorced Audrey & went nc with the sisters. None of did any of this for OP sake it was all done to alleviate their guilt & scratch the manipulative wife's disney moment she's been dreaming of her whole life. They're all just as narcissistic as lisa.
I feel very worried if the wife really is a family counceler with the delusion of making happy families by talking abused people into their abusers arms so she feels great making happy families....this is dangerous behavior if she can not accept that there are abusive people who apologize just to get the victim back under control
Exactly. In some cases the people that abused you or didn't have your back don't deserve second chances, no mater how much they apoligize. It's always down the the victim to decide if they want to try to forgive and possibly have a second chance at a relationship with them. When they sent the emails and OP said to not contact him again a caring person would have stopped and realized that the victims needs comes first and to not put themselves before that. Their guilt is eating them up inside but it's not about them. Sending an email and saying how sorry you are is enough. If the victim doesn't want to have further contact you have to accept that. All those people seemed to care more about their guilt more than they care about OP so yeah why should he forgive them again?? None of them seem to actually care about OP as a human being and brother cuz they all love to force themselves into his life even when he said no. They are once again showing they don't actually have his back just like how it was when all of them were complacent about OPs abuse taking place before their very eyes back then... Jeesus some people.
Part of me is now picturing the wifey getting her credentials and training to do social work and help children and families, but instead of watching the boring mandated stuff and the lectures, she tuned into the Hallmark Channel an determined that's how it was supposed to work. Ugh.
O P basically has three choices here. Thanks to Audrey, none of them are good: 1. Get rid of Audrey 2. Not reconcile with his sisters. And explain clearly he might have, but the way Audrey and them snuck around behind his back makes it impossible, 3. Give in, have Audrey convinced everything she did was right, and have boundaries monster stomped even worse for the rest of his life.
@@PinkMarshmallows you are blaming a victim for other people did to him. You are a monster. For real. Seek out therapy, please. You are like his wife...
@@PinkMarshmallows I wouldn't say he doesn't have a backbone I say he's tired and has no one in his corner. Everyone in this story is against op so really it's a losing battle unless he wants to be completely alone and a single father. Because he didn't talk about if he has friends (given his childhood I doubt he would want to make friends though) so by the end of the post he sounds like he's just trying to keep some form of peace in his life now by making Everyone else happy while he suffers in silence (like most men now a days)
@@biggysmallz40 This exactly. It's from 6 yrs ago so hopefully he got an actually GOOD therapist that helped him realize this & he is now happily divorced, & happily estranged from these manipulative toxic people. Hopefully if they are divorced he got primary custody of their kids.
The school system is such a joke when it comes to bullying. I remember begging for help and they blamed for not being more normal. Or the second I fought back verbally , they threatened explosion. Why anyone who claims to love you would bring that person back into your life. Being abused to not a pass. I was abused and didn’t make anyone else the victim.
I was bullied for months and months by this one kid in my second year of high school. Not a peep from the teachers and officials. When all of one time I finally snapped and hit the kid with a textbook, sobbing all the while, *both* of us got into trouble with the administrators because even though he’d been making my life hell for months now I shouldn’t have “escalated”. Fun times.
@@gwammeh that’s why I don’t trust it but all it took for me was fight backing once to know it was pointless. Even the adults were against me, so I back down entirely. I’m sorry that happened you and hope you are far away from it.
Of course the school does nothing about bullying, look at the school who hired OPs wife as a social worker. She hears Lisa FRONT KICKED A CHILD and still wants her husband and child to build a relationship with crazy
@@jessbeingme8155 This is the kind of social worker that would take a child from a loving family and house it with abusers. The foster care system families are rife with abusers because of these workers. They fall hook link and sinker for the psychopaths and believe them 100% all the time.
Me in 1999. Report bullying: crickets. Get caught in a fight because they decided to escalate and you had no other choice but to go through them: sent to the hospital (only because one of the special kids saw my HEAD BLEEDING) to get staples, suspended for a few days; nothing happened to anyone else involved.
S1: sounds like OP married some one as bad as his sister. hope he realizes that he needs to run from all of them. ESH except OP. also be careful dating therapist and social workers or people like that. they are often the most messed-up partners you can get, like even someone from an asylum would be a safer bet.
S1: OP's parents should have sent their psycho daughter to private school far away; but what's done is done. Now unfortunately OP has a relationship with a woman who is like her SIL in spirit. For someone whose profession involves bringing families back together, she seems overly personally invested and pushy. And pushing OP into (or OP pushing himself) into family events quickly seems way too much, too soon. Everybody there except the children will have done OP wrong! What fun.
It makes me so MAD how everyone has disregarded what OP wants and have basically tried to force forgiveness from him. I believe that absolutely _none_ of them are actually sorry about what they have all collectively done to OP but apologize and demand his forgiveness to clear their own consciences. UGH.
And it doesn't help that his wife happened to find ops post first, probably saw nobody was siding with her, and beat op to the punch before he could justifiably yell at her, everyone has cornered him before he can a word in cos they know they screwed up big time and are trying to cover their own ass now.
Everyone in this story is just trying to assuage their own guilt. Nobody, even OPs wife, give a darn about OP. All the sisters are pathetic. Every last one. EDIT: Update just makes it worse. All the men that are involved with these women should honestly leave. They are another Lisa lie away from nuking their lives.
The first story and the reactions to it are a great example of toxic positivity. In particular the idea of shutting down the actual mental health experts advice because it goes against the narrative of being a sociopath and only doing things for yourself.
OP's parents are amazing to see right through his sisters act and separating them. Personally, I would have taken a step further and sent her to a boarding or military school instead. The fact that she would expose OP like she did and beat him senseless on a regular basis without any provocation or remorse shows some disturbing behavioral problems that need to be addressed in some degree.
@@dimsufferer9951 I think you're pretty accurate there. Sending Lisa off to a boarding school or something, since she was the instigator, makes far more sense and would reduce the problems. Would be harder for her to wage a proxy war from a state away. Sadly, it's always the victim of bullying and abuse that has to change everything to minimize the damage or make sure they're not the target again.
Story 1: Even if the sister is telling the truth (which I will give her rocks of salt as she has a history of lying), let's say she is speaking the truth, she has abused OP. Her trauma does not excuse what she has done to OP. Also, the wife is awful for siding with OP's abuser. Regardless of the wife's intention (maybe she did mean well), I would never ever trust her again. Updated: Listening to stories is triggering because I have family members very much like the sisters that I refuse to talk to or want anything to do with. I do feel OP should work on forgiving himself and healing because the anger can be toxic (I know it is for me). But, the sisters and wife are not owed forgiveness or a relationship if he doesn't want it.
I had a laugh at the sister's misfortune they knew they f****** knew what kind of person their other sister was and had been a damn witness to her lying and other bullcrap, they saw what led their brother cutting them and her off they heard her confess everything and they still let this person in their life's unsupervised and even believed the affair what can I do but laugh at both of them lol
OP, I was abused and betrayed by my sisters. Wife, I'll betray you too. He was bullied as a kid... siblings bullied him into a relationship after the fact. OP took solace in the fact he could live a life without ever seeing his siblings again. His wife took that away from him. May he find the courage to divorce her.
As someone who was abused physically and mentally by my only brother, I sympathize with the OP. I am in my mid-50s and still suffer from my home bullies' actions. I never really had any peace from my tormentor until I was around 14. When I met bullies at school, they didn't intimidate me as I lived with an expert torturer, so their threats meant nothing to me. My brother mellowed when he went to the army, and we finally became brothers when I did my service, too, as we now had something in common. In the last 10 years, my brother has started his bullying again, and I see he wishes he was an only child again. He is the reason I have depression and anxiety, but he thinks I'm faking it.
Given how sister lied so consistently and maliciously in their childhood, I wouldn’t be surprised if the outside “abuse” is just another lie to take the blame off of her.
Since OP's wife has this dream of reuniting broken families, and given how she prioritized the OP's sisters over his clear and understandable boundary, I get the feeling OP's wife only married him to satisfy her desire to fix his broken family.
Ok we all know about the wife, but can we talk about OP’s mom too? Even after all that crazy stuff happened OP’s mom STILL provided a picture of OP’s wife so Lisa could “bump into her”
I don’t think the mother was malicious or planning anything, she just wanted to share news of her family. My mom constantly shows me photos of relatives I haven’t seen in years (internet made it so easy to find people you haven’t talked in 4 decades). She is also the only one who noticed that OP didn’t just forgive and forget.
The OP forgave his family too easily, the sisters had no problem not hearing from him or seeing him until their individual families started getting a small dose of what he got. If he is so easily convinced after having his boundaries destroyed, and being betrayed, this is sad.
Story 1: A big NOPE from me. We can argue about whether this was a positive outcome, but SO many boundaries were trampled that I would definitely want a professional therapist/mediator involved before even *thinking* about playing Happy Families with this bunch. The ambushing, the trickle truth, the deeply disturbed sister, and then having the 'make up' meeting take place in a bar and throwing alcohol into the mix? Yeah, not the way to go about rebuilding family trust. SLOW IT DOWN, OP. Take your time to untangle all the threads in a safe environment, and don't let yourself be pushed into anything before YOU are ready. Good luck! The road to hell can be paved with the good intentions of well meaning people.
When it hit the part where the therapist told OP to work on forgiving his sister, I was like, "NOOO!" and paused the video. That would be the last session with that therapist for me. The therapist shouldn't be telling OP what to do, and shouldn't be pushing the idea of forgiveness. A number of years ago I started going to therapy to deal with childhood familial abuse, and a huge breakthrough came when my therapist told me that not wanting to forgive was okay, and that I should forgive if I feel like it would help me with my healing process, not to appease other people.
I remember this story! I wasn’t surprised Lisa has ruined the other relationships with her family. She is a cancer that will never be know peace. Lisa would have tortured OP’s baby daughter
Story 1: OP should lay down the law and tell his wife she has 2 choices: she can have a relationship with him or she can have a relationship with his sister. She can't have both, and she only has 1 chance to make a permanent decision.
The worst part of this situation is that OPs wife IS A SOCIAL WORKER. She should be the first to understand strong boundaries and keeping a distance from toxic people
This entire story had me in a blind rage throughout. OP's wife really fucked up BIG TIME and while on the surface it looks like things are starting to work out, I'm still annoyed at OP's wife because she forced OP to be in a position where he was so tense he ended up under the influence and agreeing to things he'd have much rather done without
All I can say is Op needs to reinforce that backbone of his. Not only did the Wife ran over Op’s boundaries with a bulldozer and he basically gets L-Bombed into playing happy family again.
Abuse and trauma do not make it okay to turn around and abuse someone else. My younger sister and I did NOT get along well as kids, but outside of the home, we were a united front no matter what. We could drive each other crazy, but nobody else was allowed to do so. And we both dealt with abuse and trauma as very young children. It doesn't matter. We were a dysfunctional but consistent team.
I have heard this story twice, and the way the family wormed their way into OP and wife's life irks me and feels slimey. And the delusion that the wife has to reconcile families bothers me. You should never have toxic people in your life, family or not.
I don't believe the sister when she claims she was abused. She is a known liar and manipulator. Based on what we heard I would still never let the other sisters into my life. They chose the abuser. They chose to ignore your cries for help for YEARS! They chose to ignore how awful she was to you. They chose to continue ignoring it even after you literally cut them all out for years. They chose to continue leaving you out for YEARS MORE until the sister started to make problems for them. Disgusting
I don't believe it, either. Even if I did, I wouldn't care-there is no abuse that could EVER make what OP went through forgivable. She never let up on him, and when he was gone she immediately turned her sights on the rest of the family. OP's family, especially his wife, needs to stop pushing this "heal by coming back together" narrative. Some families are just better off separated.
People who are abusive often end up in relationships with other abusers. Abuse is often mutual. If it DID happen, Lisa would have no problem using that for sympathy points.
Story 1: No, the damage is done, it’s really selfish of these sisters to “want to make things right” after so long because they never once considered their whole lives that OP wasn’t the problem…. ever. Sure he gets vindication but that would only infuriate me then just feel nothing, I really would be starting back at zero with my family. And the wife is the worst of them all for forcing OP into reconnecting with the family. Stomping boundaries, not trusting your partners word, going behind their back? Once trust is gone, how the hell could you ever go back? The groveling, the reasons for it all are so selfish. OP deserves better from these people, or just better people, that’s all.
Story 1: tell the wife that if she keeps it up she will be in the same status as your sister. As she is continuing the abuse. Sisters husband was perplexed since he had been lied too about the abuse your sister did to you. Posted prior to update.
No one has the right to force you to forgive someone - that has to be a personal choice. If you "forgive" someone under pressure, that will probably only make you resent them more. Your wife was being absolutely unreasonable to try to push you to forgive your sister for tormenting you, and quite frankly she crossed a line when she invited your sister behind your back, as that is a major breach of trust and complete disregard for your feelings.
This crap is divorce-worthy. Nothing makes me angrier than a spouse who does nothing but stomp on boundaries. And for all anyone knows, Lisa made up all this shit about her sad backstory to justify hurting her brother who did NOTHING.
For somebody who's known to lie and manipulate, it is definitely fair to look at these supposed revelations of "abuse" with suspicion. And even if it is true, it doesn't justify all the crap she put OP through.
I always tell people (and myself) that if you wouldnt allow a friend or stranger treat you a certain way, family definitely should treat you that way. Family doing something like this is even WORSE than a stranger doing something horrible to you.
Wow, Audrey should absolutely be thanking every divine being in the freaking universe that she isn't currently sitting alone as a fresh divorcee, because I NEVER would have stayed with her after how far she pushed. No shock that she's a social worker, and of course she has this delusion that she can fix a family that is so damaged. She clearly has no understanding of how the real world works, otherwise she'd know that she went way too far. Nobody is obligated to forgive anybody, especially not after the kind of abuse OP suffered.
*binge watching past videos because I recently found this channel* The narrative of "bringing families back together" is seriously more harmful than helpful. How many times have we heard a abused mother going back to their abuser because "a child needs a father" "they needed to be a family." How many times do those situations, sadly, turn deadly? Next therapist/social worker brings that up, ask them that question.
Story 1 - This is a deal breaker for me. I don't think I could trust Audrey anymore were I married to her. I'll never understand why it's always on the victim to mend burned bridges and forgive their abuser/tormentor. Now the abuser is claiming she did what she did because of trauma. Bullsh*t. Poor op. Nobody, not even his wife, was looking out for him. I can't understand a person treating their family like this. Lisa is a freaking monster and I'm glad they're treating her like a threat instead of coddling her.
Parents knew Lisa was a great liar, OP kept saying Lisa was a great liar. But his two sisters were older than lisa and observed her for 30 years, but somehow had no clue until it affected THEM. What a pair of useful idiots.
So his sisters failed him every step of the way and as soon as they apologize he falls for it? What is it with all these spineless people on reddit that they seem totally unable to stand up for themselves. He was out of the entire Situation only to let his wife, who appeares to be a backstabbing coward, drag him back in at the first Chance.
Oh idk it’s not like OP was manipulated and gaslit by everyone he knew and everyone who he was supposed to be able to love and trust 🤪 /s Oh my dog it’s even worse OP was intoxicated and his inhibitions were practically gone STOP BLAMING VICTIMS!!!
You never, ever, have to forgive an abuser. You can forgive yourself for how you talk to yourself as you go through recovering from abuse while going through therapy, which is needed. If you do reach a point where you feel you can forgive them, you a never required to tell them at all or be in contact with them.
What op went through is as bad as a woman in a dv / abusive spouse situation - op should not be any more forced to see and forgive his sister than society would expect a woman to meet with her abuser and forgive them
Alroght, OP's wife is wild. She knew of the abuse his sister put him through, how everybody wrongly blamed him, how he had no support, how it still is affecting him, AND knew that the sister front kicked a toddler and tried to break-up OP's sister's marriage. Knowing ALL of that, she still insisted and tried to guilt HIM into reaching out and FORGIVING HER.
If MY wife pulled the same stunt OPs wife did......it would be pretty much ex wife now. It would have pretty much destroyed our relationship. The disrespect for OPs feelings is insane If i'm done with people,i'm DONE. No coming back from that. OPs wife went waaayyyy to far with what she did and she worked as a school social worker???? I'm still speechless and agry after only reading this story....wow I hope OP has a very hard talk with his wife and sets some firm boundaries otherwise this would not be the end of it. OPs wife is such a airhead,i see her capable of introducing Lisa into his family ...
So the parents knew his sister was bullying and harassing him...... So they decided to send him away. This kid never had anyone back him up in his life
Every last adult in this story failed OP on so many levels. First and foremost, his wife didnt have his back AT ALL and was consistently boundary stomping. His whole life his siblings never tried to protect him to take his side or support him. They didnt even believe him until the psycho sister turned on THEM when he finally managed to get away and distance himself from them. His parents failed him, his mother especially, sending her daughters after his wife to manipulate her into getting him to reconcile so they can all be "one big happy family again" Seriously, everyone failed OP so hard. And Im sorry, but that ending wasnt a happy one. They basically berated him with "Im Sorrys" and emotionally wore him down and weaseled their way back into his life. Why though? Why now? OP mentioned being a lawyer. Might have something to do with it.
My oldest 1/2 brother 74 and I 59, have not communicated in 40 years. He treated me bad as a teen. He is in bad health and reached out to me. I sent word I didnt want contact. Years of therapy made me strong.
Story 1: OP doesn't have a family problem, he has a WIFE problem. His family is an issue that has been dealt with already, his wife, on the other hand, is actively sabotaging and disrespecting him Edit: Highly disagree that this was a positive update. His wife is a horrible person and has zero respect for his boundaries. This is going to blow up into OP's face.
Story 1: wait wait wait wait. She knew about the more recent incidents with lisa (along with op's past bullying) and still invited lisa to his house to meet their daughter and speak to him again. IS THAT WOMAN SANE?! He needs a divorce, because no only did she know the abuse he suffered from his sister, she invited an actively dangerous woman who is known for harming children (op and their nephew) into a home with their baby.
Sounds like OP’s sisters Got a good taste of karma. Lisa claimed she was traumatized by abuse? Any reason not to suspect this of being just another lie? That’s How I’d bet. Op’s family enabled the family psychopath for years. I don’t see the upside Of making contact again. I would seriously Rethink the marriage. The wife is untrustworthy.
The wife is awful. She's a social worker and hears that the crazy sister FRONT KICKED A CHILD and faked an affair to ruin her sister's marriage and STILL WANTS OP TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. The wife is honestly dangerous to anyone she wants to "help"
I know from experience that being a social worker does NOTHING to prevent inherent bias from intruding. Especially if they have their own unresolved issues, more so if they got into social work BECAUSE of said issues.
I think she was pushing for the older sisters. Not the abusive one. But still, she should have backed off and let him decide on his own
What the heck. how does that translate to "hmm, she sounds like a safe adult around my child and husband."
Very true. I know somebody who is disabled, housebound and abused by his parents. Social services don’t give a $h!t and his own Aunt is a social worker, knows about what it going on and also sides with the abusive parents.
The wife is gonna need a child to die as an act of her directly forcing the family narrative to understand by half how deluded she is. That honestly is a price too steep.
Ok what OPs wife did is divorce worthy. She knew your abuse history and yet still stab you in the back.
The wife thought she knew better. When dragging him to unwanted therapy didn't work, she thought springing a surprise visit from his sister was a good idea. This woman is beyond lucky OP is forgiving of her transgressions. 🙄
@@SnowyWolborg Amen
I've lost interest in love because women think they are better,cheat, try to get you fired or arrested.. Or possibly unalived. I worry about my future and my purpose. No love, I'm happy just being by myself and modern men need to start walking away more often.
That and OP's wife need's a wake up call or a divorce. because I would have divorced her and gotten a restraining order against my sister.. or bought a home defense tool and waited for her to invade my home.
The wife will probably invite their son's bullies in their house to play with him
@@CozyCabinLife5301 Almost comical if it weren't so sad that you think this behavior is limited to females. It is actually not a gender related phenomenon, and the males invariably do far more damage to their victims.
Audrey better thank whatever guardian angel she has because she almost lost her marriage. OP is better than me because I would've left them all to deal with the same shit I had to go through. Hopefully, things get better for him
I'm sure her guardian angel is more drunk than when Castiel drank a whole liquor store
They better get a mfing raise
The guy is weak. If he is gonna stay with her he needs to make sure the wife does not dare to cross some lines. Or else
I would have left the house for a few days and turned my phone off.
@@HH-ru4bj That's a very poor and immature way to handle conflicts in a marriage.
Out of everything that didn't surprise me is the wife being a social worker. Alongside nurses, stomping boundaries is their favorite hobby
My mother and sister are both social workers and work with those with mental illness. Because I also have a mental illness, they feel the need to tell me over and over again how "good" I am compared to their patients.
Social workers really do think the world is about stabilizing everything, oof
What is actually worse, is that she works with children, being a social worker for a school. I'm just getting sick imagining her forcing every victim into "forgiving" their abusers, because "faaaaaaamilyyyy". I don't know, but from the story, she seems to be either incredibly stupid or actually evil.
If you ask me, she has no business being a social worker. She lacks empathy and understanding.
Maybe, but I will say my dad was a CPS worker for more than 40 years and he is the exact opposite of a boundary smasher/meddler. His job was so stressful the last thing he ever wanted was more drama outside of work.
@@MdMzzz she wants her own husband and child to build a relationship with someone who FRONT KICKED A CHILD, her own nephew in fact. The wife is dangerous and should not work with children.
My high school bully actually went to school to become a social worker. I was shocked at first but with hindsight, it's actually very fitting considering all the vulnerable people she'll have power over.
Audrey is a slimy backstabber who's going to do the same crap to her daughter, "oh honey you should forgive your bullies bc their moms are my friends" It's like the Ashley and Kyle story all over again-
OP will ended up accused Audrey of siding with abusers and threating divorce
Yes! I remember that story!
OP Should really, seriously consider divorcing his wife. She stomped all over his boundaries and honestly even endangered their child by trying to force a relationship with an abuser.
No is a complete answer and she should have respected that
If she's willing to do that to her husband, think about the poor kids she works with. "Yes, I know he sexually abused you, but think of family!"
@@MorningRose370 Exactly
"Oh your grandpa likes to play a game call hide the sausage, well that is terrible but think about forgiving hm BECUZ FAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMIIIILLLLLLY!"
Wait so the wife heard that the crazy sister literally FRONT KICKED a child and she still wants to get in contact with her and have a relationship with her ? What
The fact that OP hasn't divorced her is surprising
Dont forget the wife is a school social worker heard Lisa front kicked a child and wants her own child to build a relationship with her
The wife likely got pulled in by the crazy sister's sob story and think her past pains(which OP never knew about) would make them relate and bond. What a crock of shit.
Certified school social worker moment
@@mustbetheSUN and OP Wife will ended up get divorced
it`s the dumbest thing about the whole story.
S1 total breach of trust. I would divorce a spouse for this. The family is manipulating you. Stay away from them. You’re getting played.
That's a very pessimistic view. It sounds like they are actually remorseful. And Lisa is now hated by all of the family for her actions, so it's basically a win/win so far. If OP came back and was saying it was all a trap, then the pessimism would be warranted.
@@ShadowReignhart then why do they keep ignoring his wishes they kept sending letters to OP even after he told them to leave him alone, they planned to ambush the wife and then they ignored when he said only his sister's show up to the pub. If i was OP I would have left as soon as I saw the Husbands.
Yeah, this whole thing skeeves me out. The wife is more interested in image than in her own spuses feelings. The sisters want to make themselves feel better and don't care about op. The only one's who seem to be doing alright are the parents who stayed out of things out of respect for op despite what they may want. Op is definitely being manipulated, and I have a feeling it's all gonna blow up. I hope op really does get into therapy, so he has someone who just focuses on him. His wife sucks.
@ShadowReignhart would you forgive the enablers of your abuser who abused you your entire childhood? I could never
@@ShadowReignhart They've all disrespected him and his boundaries at every turn. The only person who seems to have actually care for OP and his boundaries from the beginning is his mom, who said this was all a bad idea before it happened. Even at the end he wasn't happy he agreed to plans with them while drunk. That not a "win/win". That's a "this is either about to start getting a bit better, or shits gonna hit the fan."
My goodness. I feel so sorry for OP for finding out about the levels and levels of his wife’s betrayal. I genuinely hope he at least gives some serious consideration to divorce even if he doesn’t decide to go for it.
Yea, or at least keep her in the "dog house" till she realizes how bad she messed up... My SO has a strained relationship with his family and while I did push a little bit for reconciliation I would never overstep like that just to "fix" things. It has to be the abused persons choice or else it will never work... (being from a happy home I found it odd that he cut his family out but after getting to know them I understand why and I have stopped asking him to reconnect with his sucky parents...)
It feels like she doesn't respect OP at all
Why did the sisters even allow this that’s so gross and the teachers are just as wrong smh That’s awful and the wife is just as wrong you don’t owe anyone anything especially not forgiveness
“The sisters” as in the other children involved? They were ALL kids, not just OP. Why don’t their parents have more responsibility here than the kids they were responsible for?
@@BunnyQueen97 Let's do simple math here. OP's torment really started from 5th grade (around 10 years old) and his oldest sister is 9 years older than him. Please give more justification why the oldest sister was innocent victim in this story?
@@ps9501 she’s not an “innocent victim”, don’t twist my words 🙄 my question is this - why are OP’s parents less responsible for all of this than OP’s (and we’re employing your incredible math skills here lol) 19 year old sister? Who’s kids are these again?? The bully sister was still a child and so was OP, so they BOTH should have been supervised way more than they obviously were by their careless mom and dad. Explains why they decided to just toss money at the issue in the end by moving OP away and paying for his therapy 🙄
@@BunnyQueen97 Every comment what i have seen you leave you defended women in the story, once again you did not disappoint. I'm actually surprised you didn't call that psychopathic sister the victim 😂😂
@@ps9501 lmao why are you obsessed with me? Creepy.
Once again, I’m not defending the sisters, I’m criticizing the parents, which no one ever seems to do. Everyone’s congratulating mom and dad like they were perfect and OP has them on a pedestal, but he froze his siblings out? It was LITERALLY his parent’s job to notice this was happening and put a stop to it for the sake of all their kids, and they failed and their family is in tatters. Blame was incorrectly placed here from the beginning and it snowballed from there 🤷🏽♀️ if you can’t look past “tHe WoMeN” to see that, you have issues.
People just do not seem to understand what true bullying does to people. It causes PTSD. Do you understand that? It literally breaks your brain from being constantly on edge every second for years wondering when the next attack is coming. I only survived because I had a great home life. I truly do not know how kids in the social media age make it.
I am 40. Yesterday, while driving, a song came on the radio that was playing decades ago while my bullies beat me in a classroom (the terrified sub tried to help, but she was out of her element).
What I need you all to understand is that when I heard that song, I wasn’t 40 any more. I was back in the classroom being attacked. I could see the speckled design of the floor tiles and remembered the colors of my bullies’ shoes as the kicked me in the face.
I was able to turn off the radio, pull over, and managed not to vomit, although I did cry a long time.
That was ONE incident when I was 11. It went on for three years. Every single minute I was at school, I knew something was coming. I was on high alert 8 hours a day, five days a week. Even with therapy, part of my brain is permanently broken. I just have coping skills to live with it.
OP’s wife was clearly never bullied. People hear “bullying” and think kids making rude comments or just mildly picking on others. That’s not bullying. Bullying is a persistent, daily, unending cycle of harassment, cruelty, and sometimes physical beatings.
I can’t really cut OP’s wife any slack though, for two reasons: 1. She works in a damn school 2. She did not hear OP saying that this was a HARD boundary.
I hope they can work it out, but I personally find it divorce worthy.
Yeah I had concerns too when he mentioned she works in a school. If this is how she treats her husband with so much background information, how does she treat her students? Does she think she can force a bully and their victim to reconcile?
@@hananahbananah She doesn’t sound too bright. Easily manipulated.
This! Bully’s also often play the victim too. People who haven’t been bullied don’t get this. They’re master manipulators, what gets me is people think they grow out of it when they become adults? Lol nope, they’re probably that abusive boss you’re working for.
Fuck me, i've never heard these feeling be put to words so well before. I think i'll just copy and paste it whenever someone asks me "Whaaaaat you didn't like school? School is the best time of your life!" Eugh.
@@wilczus222 I go way out of my way to tell young people that the saying, “This is the best time of your life,” is a lie. Things are SOOOO much better once you’re an adult. It drove me to self-harm as a young person thinking that this was peak living and things were only going to get worse. And it wasn’t remotely true. Every year gets better for me. Thus far, being 40 is the best.
Story 1: Audrey needs to take a moment and realize that boundaries go up for a REASON. No, you don't need to reconcile everyone. And the parents needed to get Lisa in serious therapy a long time ago. She went on to do damage to all of her family including the other sisters.
and Audrey should get divorced
She needs to be kicked out of the house and divorced her
Absolutely this! My husband protected me from my messed up family, he didn't try to get us to reconcile.. the wife is absolutely sucky..he should leave her..
There were a couple reddit posts where a husband and a boyfriend overstep their boundaries and reached out to their SOs toxic family to make amends.
I don't believe the bully was ever actually abused. She's already lied about that to everyone claiming OP was abusing her. Her word can no longer be trusted and I do not believe she has ever been a victim of anything. She's nothing but a bully. And wife is just as bad. I cannot imagine treating my husband the way wife did. It's horrifying
"you owe them forgiveness, you need to forgive"... No, you don't.
My therapist told me some time ago something profound - I need to come to terms with, and stop feeling anything negative about all abuse, trauma and unfairness I experienced in my life, and forgiveness will come on it's own, without anyone forcing me to. I think about it often.
EDIT: and as the story came to an end, OP definitely has to either withdraw or go back to therapy. His anger WILL bubble trough with some kind of blow up OR he'll end up resentful towards everyone in his family.
I was thinking what you put in your edit. Maybe a different therapist from the first one but he needs to not see it as a “cash grab”
@@Pippa87 yeah, he definitely must come on his own to the conclusion that he needs it. Until then he'll see even the best therapist as "cash grab".
Got all his enemies in one place for a DECISIVE BLOW! Lol hes about to knock them all out
Yeah, when I heard/read that, my immediate thought was, "I don't owe them f&%king ANYTHING" and would have fired the therapist at that point.
This is what happens when people meddle with others’ relationships.
Everybody wanna be a hero and try to make someone's life a Hallmark film where there's a heartfelt reconciliation in the end. 😂
I already get pretty miffed when a coworker tries to be helpful but just makes my job harder. This is all just wack. I'd be in a spare room if not out of the house for a bit.
@@SnowyWolborg Exactly. That's what's so sad about the whole thing.
The only happy part of the first story is when Lisa proved she was a monster, while damaging the sister's relationship. I would have divorced Audrey because she is a terrible wife.
She a terible mother aswell bribgibg a known convicted child abuser into her house with hernown child their thats child endagerment and possibly violation of conditions of the sisters sentencing
Yeah OP should divorce her otherwise the daughter is going to be mentally messed up by her mother.
@@demonic_myst4503that was another sister that came to the house
Same.
OP is STILL being bullied, just not by Lisa. His sisters are so manipulative by tracking down OP's wife and OP's wife is a bully by basically forcing him to forgive people he's not ready too.
From the end of the post, it really sounds like OP isn't ready to forgive any of them yet, but he's being bullied into it by his wife, sisters/their husbands and even his mom. I feel so bad for him
I was a little worried about that when I saw that wife was two years older.
Honestly, I don't feel sorry for him. He's stupid and he's letting himself to get roped into it again. Should've divorced the wife first chance he got after his wife admitted what she did. He only has himself to blame for any hurt forthcoming.
@@happilyeverafter7703 Careful there, this kind of rhetoric is why people stay in abusive relationships. This is basically victim blaming
@@SamasBananas1 Yeah, before he made the decision to bend over again and get screwed, he was the victim. And he gets to continue being one. He gets his fucked up version of a happily ever after. We do call it victim blaming but what can we do when the victim himself won't distance from the toxic elements of his life, despite the number of strangers telling him otherwise. You and I both know that the wife considers this a win so what are the odds that she'll eventually push for reconciliation with the sister in a later date, huh? I throw in "doormat" in there for good measure.
@happilyeverafter7703 Somehow I don't think you have much experience with abuse or victims of abuse bc, if you did and still lacked this much compassion, I'd be concerned
It still feels like OP is getting the short end of the stick. Like, what did he gain from all these lies, deceit, and manipulation? Wife is probably patting herself on the back thinking she did a good job by stabbing her husband in the back. The sisters get to unload 20+ years of guilt they felt for not believing OP. The parents get their children to become close towards each other. But what did OP get?
“Thanks for validating me after nearly three decades, so glad you finally believe me after getting a taste of what I went through for all of my childhood. I’ll put away my own hurt feelings to make everyone else feel better about themselves.” I don’t know about OP but if I were him I’d demand that they all set the record straight and put Lisa on blast for everything she did. There’s no telling how much OP has lost because of her spreading lies and rumors about him and it would be a nice gesture if they’d clear his name and warn people about how dangerous she is.
Honestly, everyone in his story besides OP and his daughter suck major donkey ass.
That's exactly what pissed me off in this story. Felt like everyone else "won" in this story. His trashy sister didn't believe him until the psycho sister starter attacking them as well. I would avoid the whole family like plague
By the sounds of it they have but only after they themselves were victims of her
Honestly it could go either way by letting go & restoring most of the family it means his child will have a larger support group etc which may be beneficial
On the other hand they used manipulation tactics to restore the family so I'd be more tempted to go the route
"I accept your apology & don't hate you but I have little to no love for you either & don't want you in my life or my child's"
Listening to the story again and everyone is a lot worse than what I initially thought. Sisters knew about the abuse but didn’t do anything, only when Lisa turned her crazy on them did they actually do something. Everyone was conspiring behind OP’s back to force a reconciliation, everyone has been lying and trickle truthing him the entire time. The posts were made 6 years ago and it’s horrifying to think that he still has these people in his life.
And nobody realzes that they were willing to destroy his marriage in order to reconcile, great people
Well, OP's getting that and a dying liver, as he is coping with the situation by becoming an alcoholic. Can't wait for the second blowout when the family discovers the damage their forced reunion's caused.
This is divorce worthy. There is no coming back from this. She brought your former abuser into your house and brought her around your kid as well. Divorce her and file for full custody.
I don’t like any of the women in this story
Except the mom
@@Kalossupremacy3356 the mom who gave OP's wives picture to his sister so she can "bump" into her?
@@Chickenfriedpenguin true, she actually dropping in ratings now.
honestly, OP should've used names or fake names for all the sisters if only to keep things clear. the wife didn't bring lisa the abuser into his house, she brought the oldest sister. although if you call ignorance, abuse... well go ahead I guess.
@@Zhajn That's not just "ignorance" they chose to believe psychopath sister every time, until she started attacking THEM. OP himself said that sister was a good liar, but her lies started to crumple when you looked closer and asked for details
This is one of those situations where everyone other than OP (and maybe his parents; they seem to have the ability to think) will think that everything is all better now. Since they said, "Sorry," OP will be all better, and they don't need to feel guilty about how they mistreated their brother for decades. At some point in the future, they're going to get mad at OP because the childhood trauma doesn't magically go away because the people that perpetrated it apologized.
I hope Audrey realizes how incredibly lucky she is at the moment - she pushed VERY far and could have ruined that whole relationship and made things worse between OP’s family. I hope she takes the time to reflect on this and checks herself In the future, but I’m worried that him agreeing to see them encouraged her to keep pushing down the line
she hasn't stopped pushing. OP hasn't realized how "perfect" the sister's actions were and how they completely coincide with what he told his wife.
Same here. And I also hope OP's wife doesn't expose their daughter to his toxic sister.
Oh she knows & she also knows she can get away with it in the future since she's faced absolutely zero consequences in this. This was from 6 years ago so wouldn't surprise me if they're divorced cuz she tried it again but this time he learned his lesson. Audrey sounds incredibly manipulative just like lisa.
She did ruin the marriage. He will never fully trust her again. She has hubris...thinks she knows better. Only two things end Love. Hubris and lack of trust. The marriage will end.
@@holeymcsockpuppet I'm with you 💯% on that, the marriage IS doomed.😒
"Hey, you know a great way to earn forgiveness and prove you've changed to the victim of our bullying? Let's relentlessly harass them and ignore every single one of their boundaries!"
Dood, your wife is unbelievably horrible. I can't believe you accepted that troll back. I'm horrified she's a social worker. I can only imagine how many lives she's ruined.
None of those sisters deserve even the barest sliver of respect. This is tragic. They all sound manipulative and psychotic.......
Well said.
Including his parents, as, how could the bullying go so far, if they were really protecting OP? Why didn’t they take that sister to therapy? To a psychiatrist? They knew she was a horrible bully but they still allowed her friends, teachers and even her sisters to believe what she was saying. They did not really defend OP, and OP was so severely abus3d that he thinks they were like his salvation.
@@jillimithe parents did put Lisa in therapy and send OP yo a different school. They always believed him. Pay attention
"My wife is a school social worker"
FUCKING CALLED IT. Seven years working as a teacher and still haven't met one who wasn't all candies and rainbows and "wowee alrighty, let's all group hug".
I know there are social workers out there who are good at what they do, but others seem to think that life is a Hallmark or Disney movie. One family member constantly makes life a living hell for another family member or two family members have a major falling out. They go their own way and refuse to speak to one another for several years. Circumstances bring the family members back into each others' lives. Eventually the horrible family member admits to the other that they only mistreated them because they were jealous because they knew deep down how amazing they actually were or that because of some major tragedy, one was unable to face the other. The family members kiss and make up and life is good from here on out. Welcome to something called the Real World.
@@whitneybennett4857 Lol, "Hallmark movie plot driven" sounds like a good description.
Yes I'm sure there must be good ones out there. No niche is made of saints, many of us teachers aren't a delight either. But Jesus, school social workers do seem to embrace their stereotype.
I feel really bad for OP. I feel like he still needs to keep his distance from everyone still. The mental gymnastics that they put him through and the fact that he never actually got a chance to tell his family (including wife) how much they failed him and still continue to do so is upsetting me. I hope he's able to unpack that in therapy.
Spouses/relatives/friends needs to understand that when people go NC with parents/siblings/ relatives there’s a reason.
I seriously hope that OP doesn't build a relationship with these people again. They would've never believed them had the abuser not accused the Husband and kicked the 3 year old. They ONLY believed OP when it was their families being torn apart and them that were suffering.
I also hope they have a serious discussion with their wife. Because she ABSOLUTELT crossed some boundaries that should never ever under any circumstances get crossed.
Wife: is social worker
Wife: also stomps boundaries
Me: sounds like every social worker I ever met.
@@impishrebel5969 It really, truly does. I get that she's coming from a good place with her intentions, but she's ABSOLUTELY not going about it the right way whatsoever.
Can the poor guy have his dramatic moment? I think he earned it at this point xD
And the wife learned friggin nothing. This isn't over. Once crazy sister gets 'better' and tries to reconcile they'll be all over it and expect him to cave once more.
I hope he makes an escape then, but then he runs the risk of his daughter being raised by all those people (shudder). Every day must feel horrible for him, this forced reconciliation, while his wife blinks stupidly and doesn't understand why he doesn't appreciate this "gift" of family. I'm seething on his behalf, because he's so trapped by people who can't or won't see what he sees. That door should never have been opened. At this point, it's probably ONLY his anger that's keeping him alive, and love for his daughter. All else is probably numbness.
OP should have informed his wife and the rest of his family that their pressure campaign to force reconciliation constituted a whole new form of bullying. As a victim of childhood bullying, I found the actions of literally everyone in the story apart from OP infuriating.
Sadly, they'd never see it that way because they mean it to be a good, healing thing. Too bad it's too little too late.
OP's parents are honestly pretty great, sending the kids to different schools, making sure they have distance and that they send them to therapy.
The sisters are not good, but the parents did good with what they were given
Except the giving them family photos of op
@@lifewithlee6298 yeah, they did take some missteps, but the most was pretty good
@@JDM-is-my-name Yeah, some "misstep". Like giving the known abuser a picture of the victim's family and telling them where to find them. Sure, just a small misstep, right ?
@@MdMzzz the one who met with the wife was the oldest sister, not the abuser :) I get that it is a bit confusing, but it was a different sister who found Aubrey
They tried their best in the situation that they couldn’t control and made the best decisions they could for the op and Lisa with the information that they had
bullied him into fleeing the family then they bullied him back into the family ..... gotta love "happy endings " .....
There was something very unsatisfying about this ending. I can't shake the feeling that the wife, sisters, and even the parents (mom at least) got away with pressuring OP into doing things he might not want or be ready for.
It's unsatisfying because it is a classic example of a victim being revictimized. Dude was manipulated into letting bad people back in his life.
Well, with Lost covering it on UA-cam, there might be a chance that we'll get an update.
I'm sure they want something from him. It's so sad. I don't get his wife. Most probably he ended up divorcing her. The post was made 6 years ago.
That's my thought. I'm just dying to know. This story grabbed me more than any other. I'm just so angry for the guy.
I'm actually so infuriated for op's behalf with ow everyone, ESPECIALLY his wife threw him under the bus and just undermined his feelings. What Audrey did is worthy of divorce/annulment.
Its worth criminal charges she brought a convicted child abuser around her own child. Thats child endagerment
100% a divorce worthy offense. This abuse happened _years_ before the wife entered OP's life and she never saw the effects it had on him in his youth. Its easy for her to try and play peacemaker after hearing the sister's sob story because she doesn't know this situation on a personal level. That OP isn't interested in a relationship between his sisters is the bottom line, end of story. The wife is stepping completely out of place.
I wondered if audrey has a savior complex, then seeing shes a social worker answered that
Lisa is just downright evil, jesus
Yeah, I definitely don't think she's doing this to help OP whether she thinks she is or not. She just wants the ego boost of knowing she was the superhero who "mended a broken family."
This was 6 yrs ago I wonder what's happened in all that time? I hope OP finally grew a spine & divorced Audrey & went nc with the sisters. None of did any of this for OP sake it was all done to alleviate their guilt & scratch the manipulative wife's disney moment she's been dreaming of her whole life. They're all just as narcissistic as lisa.
I feel very worried if the wife really is a family counceler with the delusion of making happy families by talking abused people into their abusers arms so she feels great making happy families....this is dangerous behavior if she can not accept that there are abusive people who apologize just to get the victim back under control
Exactly. In some cases the people that abused you or didn't have your back don't deserve second chances, no mater how much they apoligize. It's always down the the victim to decide if they want to try to forgive and possibly have a second chance at a relationship with them. When they sent the emails and OP said to not contact him again a caring person would have stopped and realized that the victims needs comes first and to not put themselves before that. Their guilt is eating them up inside but it's not about them. Sending an email and saying how sorry you are is enough. If the victim doesn't want to have further contact you have to accept that. All those people seemed to care more about their guilt more than they care about OP so yeah why should he forgive them again?? None of them seem to actually care about OP as a human being and brother cuz they all love to force themselves into his life even when he said no. They are once again showing they don't actually have his back just like how it was when all of them were complacent about OPs abuse taking place before their very eyes back then... Jeesus some people.
Part of me is now picturing the wifey getting her credentials and training to do social work and help children and families, but instead of watching the boring mandated stuff and the lectures, she tuned into the Hallmark Channel an determined that's how it was supposed to work. Ugh.
O P basically has three choices here. Thanks to Audrey, none of them are good:
1. Get rid of Audrey
2. Not reconcile with his sisters. And explain clearly he might have, but the way Audrey and them snuck around behind his back makes it impossible,
3. Give in, have Audrey convinced everything she did was right, and have boundaries monster stomped even worse for the rest of his life.
Get rid of the wife and sisters honestly
This isn’t going to end well. I can already tell this is gonna blow up eventually and OP will end up divorced.
I'm not so sure. He thinks he has a backbone, but he's still letting the people, who hurt him, stomp all over his boundaries.
@@PinkMarshmallows you are blaming a victim for other people did to him. You are a monster. For real. Seek out therapy, please. You are like his wife...
@@PinkMarshmallows I wouldn't say he doesn't have a backbone I say he's tired and has no one in his corner. Everyone in this story is against op so really it's a losing battle unless he wants to be completely alone and a single father. Because he didn't talk about if he has friends (given his childhood I doubt he would want to make friends though) so by the end of the post he sounds like he's just trying to keep some form of peace in his life now by making Everyone else happy while he suffers in silence (like most men now a days)
@@biggysmallz40 This exactly. It's from 6 yrs ago so hopefully he got an actually GOOD therapist that helped him realize this & he is now happily divorced, & happily estranged from these manipulative toxic people. Hopefully if they are divorced he got primary custody of their kids.
The school system is such a joke when it comes to bullying. I remember begging for help and they blamed for not being more normal. Or the second I fought back verbally , they threatened explosion.
Why anyone who claims to love you would bring that person back into your life. Being abused to not a pass. I was abused and didn’t make anyone else the victim.
I was bullied for months and months by this one kid in my second year of high school. Not a peep from the teachers and officials. When all of one time I finally snapped and hit the kid with a textbook, sobbing all the while, *both* of us got into trouble with the administrators because even though he’d been making my life hell for months now I shouldn’t have “escalated”. Fun times.
@@gwammeh that’s why I don’t trust it but all it took for me was fight backing once to know it was pointless. Even the adults were against me, so I back down entirely.
I’m sorry that happened you and hope you are far away from it.
Of course the school does nothing about bullying, look at the school who hired OPs wife as a social worker. She hears Lisa FRONT KICKED A CHILD and still wants her husband and child to build a relationship with crazy
@@jessbeingme8155 This is the kind of social worker that would take a child from a loving family and house it with abusers. The foster care system families are rife with abusers because of these workers. They fall hook link and sinker for the psychopaths and believe them 100% all the time.
Me in 1999.
Report bullying: crickets.
Get caught in a fight because they decided to escalate and you had no other choice but to go through them: sent to the hospital (only because one of the special kids saw my HEAD BLEEDING) to get staples, suspended for a few days; nothing happened to anyone else involved.
OP: 'It's my time to shine as the angry Diva I deserve!'
OP's family: 'No you won't'
If anyone deserves the angry diva moment it's this op.
S1: sounds like OP married some one as bad as his sister. hope he realizes that he needs to run from all of them. ESH except OP.
also be careful dating therapist and social workers or people like that. they are often the most messed-up partners you can get, like even someone from an asylum would be a safer bet.
Right? This dude is just unluckily surrounded by toxic women.
@@SnowyWolborg and Audrey needs to get slap in face and thinks about consequeces of her actions
S1: OP's parents should have sent their psycho daughter to private school far away; but what's done is done. Now unfortunately OP has a relationship with a woman who is like her SIL in spirit. For someone whose profession involves bringing families back together, she seems overly personally invested and pushy. And pushing OP into (or OP pushing himself) into family events quickly seems way too much, too soon. Everybody there except the children will have done OP wrong! What fun.
As someone who was emotionally abused by a sibling, I have no relationship with him.
It makes me so MAD how everyone has disregarded what OP wants and have basically tried to force forgiveness from him. I believe that absolutely _none_ of them are actually sorry about what they have all collectively done to OP but apologize and demand his forgiveness to clear their own consciences. UGH.
And it doesn't help that his wife happened to find ops post first, probably saw nobody was siding with her, and beat op to the punch before he could justifiably yell at her, everyone has cornered him before he can a word in cos they know they screwed up big time and are trying to cover their own ass now.
It was only after a 3 year old got front kicked that they finally went "oh sh*t maybe op was telling the truth!" Just pathetic.
Or they're so sorry they are trying too hard to make up for it, and ignoring what OP actually wants. Which isn't quite as bad, but still horrible.
Everyone in this story is just trying to assuage their own guilt. Nobody, even OPs wife, give a darn about OP.
All the sisters are pathetic. Every last one.
EDIT: Update just makes it worse. All the men that are involved with these women should honestly leave. They are another Lisa lie away from nuking their lives.
The first story and the reactions to it are a great example of toxic positivity. In particular the idea of shutting down the actual mental health experts advice because it goes against the narrative of being a sociopath and only doing things for yourself.
OP's parents are amazing to see right through his sisters act and separating them. Personally, I would have taken a step further and sent her to a boarding or military school instead. The fact that she would expose OP like she did and beat him senseless on a regular basis without any provocation or remorse shows some disturbing behavioral problems that need to be addressed in some degree.
Did they though? Or did they separate the kids so they didn’t have to address the issue?
@@dimsufferer9951 I think you're pretty accurate there. Sending Lisa off to a boarding school or something, since she was the instigator, makes far more sense and would reduce the problems. Would be harder for her to wage a proxy war from a state away. Sadly, it's always the victim of bullying and abuse that has to change everything to minimize the damage or make sure they're not the target again.
Story 1: Even if the sister is telling the truth (which I will give her rocks of salt as she has a history of lying), let's say she is speaking the truth, she has abused OP. Her trauma does not excuse what she has done to OP. Also, the wife is awful for siding with OP's abuser. Regardless of the wife's intention (maybe she did mean well), I would never ever trust her again.
Updated: Listening to stories is triggering because I have family members very much like the sisters that I refuse to talk to or want anything to do with. I do feel OP should work on forgiving himself and healing because the anger can be toxic (I know it is for me). But, the sisters and wife are not owed forgiveness or a relationship if he doesn't want it.
I had a laugh at the sister's misfortune they knew they f****** knew what kind of person their other sister was and had been a damn witness to her lying and other bullcrap, they saw what led their brother cutting them and her off they heard her confess everything and they still let this person in their life's unsupervised and even believed the affair what can I do but laugh at both of them lol
Jeez - OP's wife overstepped majorly. She needs to learn 1 thing: No is a complete sentence and needs no further explanation
OP, I was abused and betrayed by my sisters. Wife, I'll betray you too. He was bullied as a kid... siblings bullied him into a relationship after the fact. OP took solace in the fact he could live a life without ever seeing his siblings again. His wife took that away from him. May he find the courage to divorce her.
As someone who was abused physically and mentally by my only brother, I sympathize with the OP.
I am in my mid-50s and still suffer from my home bullies' actions.
I never really had any peace from my tormentor until I was around 14.
When I met bullies at school, they didn't intimidate me as I lived with an expert torturer, so their threats meant nothing to me.
My brother mellowed when he went to the army, and we finally became brothers when I did my service, too, as we now had something in common.
In the last 10 years, my brother has started his bullying again, and I see he wishes he was an only child again.
He is the reason I have depression and anxiety, but he thinks I'm faking it.
Once a bully, always a bully
@@PLCTheCd I would have argued that you were wrong once, but unfortunately, no matter how much I wish otherwise, you are right.
That would have been a automatic divorce for me if my SO betrayed me like that
Given how sister lied so consistently and maliciously in their childhood, I wouldn’t be surprised if the outside “abuse” is just another lie to take the blame off of her.
Since OP's wife has this dream of reuniting broken families, and given how she prioritized the OP's sisters over his clear and understandable boundary, I get the feeling OP's wife only married him to satisfy her desire to fix his broken family.
Ok we all know about the wife, but can we talk about OP’s mom too? Even after all that crazy stuff happened OP’s mom STILL provided a picture of OP’s wife so Lisa could “bump into her”
I don’t think the mother was malicious or planning anything, she just wanted to share news of her family. My mom constantly shows me photos of relatives I haven’t seen in years (internet made it so easy to find people you haven’t talked in 4 decades). She is also the only one who noticed that OP didn’t just forgive and forget.
The OP forgave his family too easily, the sisters had no problem not hearing from him or seeing him until their individual families started getting a small dose of what he got. If he is so easily convinced after having his boundaries destroyed, and being betrayed, this is sad.
Story 1: A big NOPE from me. We can argue about whether this was a positive outcome, but SO many boundaries were trampled that I would definitely want a professional therapist/mediator involved before even *thinking* about playing Happy Families with this bunch. The ambushing, the trickle truth, the deeply disturbed sister, and then having the 'make up' meeting take place in a bar and throwing alcohol into the mix? Yeah, not the way to go about rebuilding family trust. SLOW IT DOWN, OP. Take your time to untangle all the threads in a safe environment, and don't let yourself be pushed into anything before YOU are ready. Good luck! The road to hell can be paved with the good intentions of well meaning people.
When it hit the part where the therapist told OP to work on forgiving his sister, I was like, "NOOO!" and paused the video. That would be the last session with that therapist for me. The therapist shouldn't be telling OP what to do, and shouldn't be pushing the idea of forgiveness. A number of years ago I started going to therapy to deal with childhood familial abuse, and a huge breakthrough came when my therapist told me that not wanting to forgive was okay, and that I should forgive if I feel like it would help me with my healing process, not to appease other people.
I remember this story!
I wasn’t surprised Lisa has ruined the other relationships with her family. She is a cancer that will never be know peace.
Lisa would have tortured OP’s baby daughter
Story 1: OP should lay down the law and tell his wife she has 2 choices: she can have a relationship with him or she can have a relationship with his sister.
She can't have both, and she only has 1 chance to make a permanent decision.
and OP should have divorced Audrey years ago
@@hugoumero9723 I agree. Get divorced and get sole custody of his daughter since Audrey's judgment can't be trusted.
The worst part of this situation is that OPs wife IS A SOCIAL WORKER. She should be the first to understand strong boundaries and keeping a distance from toxic people
Lmao! Tell me you don't know any social workers without telling me. 🤣
“Forgiveness” is one of the most sickening concepts every invented my humanity. There are like 1-2 situations where it’s a good idea.
This entire story had me in a blind rage throughout. OP's wife really fucked up BIG TIME and while on the surface it looks like things are starting to work out, I'm still annoyed at OP's wife because she forced OP to be in a position where he was so tense he ended up under the influence and agreeing to things he'd have much rather done without
It won't work in the end, it never does.
All I can say is Op needs to reinforce that backbone of his. Not only did the Wife ran over Op’s boundaries with a bulldozer and he basically gets L-Bombed into playing happy family again.
Abuse and trauma do not make it okay to turn around and abuse someone else. My younger sister and I did NOT get along well as kids, but outside of the home, we were a united front no matter what. We could drive each other crazy, but nobody else was allowed to do so. And we both dealt with abuse and trauma as very young children. It doesn't matter. We were a dysfunctional but consistent team.
I have heard this story twice, and the way the family wormed their way into OP and wife's life irks me and feels slimey. And the delusion that the wife has to reconcile families bothers me. You should never have toxic people in your life, family or not.
I don't believe the sister when she claims she was abused. She is a known liar and manipulator.
Based on what we heard I would still never let the other sisters into my life. They chose the abuser. They chose to ignore your cries for help for YEARS! They chose to ignore how awful she was to you. They chose to continue ignoring it even after you literally cut them all out for years. They chose to continue leaving you out for YEARS MORE until the sister started to make problems for them. Disgusting
I don't believe it, either. Even if I did, I wouldn't care-there is no abuse that could EVER make what OP went through forgivable. She never let up on him, and when he was gone she immediately turned her sights on the rest of the family. OP's family, especially his wife, needs to stop pushing this "heal by coming back together" narrative. Some families are just better off separated.
People who are abusive often end up in relationships with other abusers. Abuse is often mutual. If it DID happen, Lisa would have no problem using that for sympathy points.
Story 1: No, the damage is done, it’s really selfish of these sisters to “want to make things right” after so long because they never once considered their whole lives that OP wasn’t the problem…. ever. Sure he gets vindication but that would only infuriate me then just feel nothing, I really would be starting back at zero with my family. And the wife is the worst of them all for forcing OP into reconnecting with the family. Stomping boundaries, not trusting your partners word, going behind their back? Once trust is gone, how the hell could you ever go back? The groveling, the reasons for it all are so selfish. OP deserves better from these people, or just better people, that’s all.
Ok, the sister is literally insane.
Story 1: tell the wife that if she keeps it up she will be in the same status as your sister. As she is continuing the abuse. Sisters husband was perplexed since he had been lied too about the abuse your sister did to you. Posted prior to update.
Yea, I didn't like the end of that story. Op got emotionally manipulated by everyone and basically got browbeat into reconciliation.
No one has the right to force you to forgive someone - that has to be a personal choice. If you "forgive" someone under pressure, that will probably only make you resent them more. Your wife was being absolutely unreasonable to try to push you to forgive your sister for tormenting you, and quite frankly she crossed a line when she invited your sister behind your back, as that is a major breach of trust and complete disregard for your feelings.
Horrible wife, horrible sisters and OP was a complete doormat to let them all dictate his life and trauma. Huge L
Poor OP just couldn't have his dramatic moment.
OP: “I’m sure Audrey did it from a good place…”
Me: “Christ, it gets worse!” 😖
This crap is divorce-worthy. Nothing makes me angrier than a spouse who does nothing but stomp on boundaries. And for all anyone knows, Lisa made up all this shit about her sad backstory to justify hurting her brother who did NOTHING.
For somebody who's known to lie and manipulate, it is definitely fair to look at these supposed revelations of "abuse" with suspicion. And even if it is true, it doesn't justify all the crap she put OP through.
fax
Dude still needs to question his marriage.
I always tell people (and myself) that if you wouldnt allow a friend or stranger treat you a certain way, family definitely should treat you that way. Family doing something like this is even WORSE than a stranger doing something horrible to you.
Wow, Audrey should absolutely be thanking every divine being in the freaking universe that she isn't currently sitting alone as a fresh divorcee, because I NEVER would have stayed with her after how far she pushed. No shock that she's a social worker, and of course she has this delusion that she can fix a family that is so damaged. She clearly has no understanding of how the real world works, otherwise she'd know that she went way too far. Nobody is obligated to forgive anybody, especially not after the kind of abuse OP suffered.
*binge watching past videos because I recently found this channel*
The narrative of "bringing families back together" is seriously more harmful than helpful. How many times have we heard a abused mother going back to their abuser because "a child needs a father" "they needed to be a family." How many times do those situations, sadly, turn deadly? Next therapist/social worker brings that up, ask them that question.
So Lisa
- Pantsed and bullied OP.
- Front-Kicked her nephew.
- Tried to ruin her sister's husband's life.
Seems like she may have a thing against men.
Mabye
Story 1 - This is a deal breaker for me. I don't think I could trust Audrey anymore were I married to her. I'll never understand why it's always on the victim to mend burned bridges and forgive their abuser/tormentor. Now the abuser is claiming she did what she did because of trauma. Bullsh*t. Poor op. Nobody, not even his wife, was looking out for him. I can't understand a person treating their family like this. Lisa is a freaking monster and I'm glad they're treating her like a threat instead of coddling her.
Parents knew Lisa was a great liar,
OP kept saying Lisa was a great liar.
But his two sisters were older than lisa and observed her for 30 years, but somehow had no clue until it affected THEM.
What a pair of useful idiots.
So his sisters failed him every step of the way and as soon as they apologize he falls for it? What is it with all these spineless people on reddit that they seem totally unable to stand up for themselves. He was out of the entire Situation only to let his wife, who appeares to be a backstabbing coward, drag him back in at the first Chance.
Oh idk it’s not like OP was manipulated and gaslit by everyone he knew and everyone who he was supposed to be able to love and trust 🤪 /s
Oh my dog it’s even worse OP was intoxicated and his inhibitions were practically gone STOP BLAMING VICTIMS!!!
Most people who need the support of a reddit forum tends to be people who lack backbone or just need the last push
You're yet another person here who doesn't understand the psychology of having been long term chronically abused.
You never, ever, have to forgive an abuser. You can forgive yourself for how you talk to yourself as you go through recovering from abuse while going through therapy, which is needed. If you do reach a point where you feel you can forgive them, you a never required to tell them at all or be in contact with them.
His whole family bullied him as a child.
His whole family bullied him as an adult.
What op went through is as bad as a woman in a dv / abusive spouse situation - op should not be any more forced to see and forgive his sister than society would expect a woman to meet with her abuser and forgive them
Alroght, OP's wife is wild. She knew of the abuse his sister put him through, how everybody wrongly blamed him, how he had no support, how it still is affecting him, AND knew that the sister front kicked a toddler and tried to break-up OP's sister's marriage. Knowing ALL of that, she still insisted and tried to guilt HIM into reaching out and FORGIVING HER.
If MY wife pulled the same stunt OPs wife did......it would be pretty much ex wife now. It would have pretty much destroyed our relationship. The disrespect for OPs feelings is insane
If i'm done with people,i'm DONE. No coming back from that.
OPs wife went waaayyyy to far with what she did and she worked as a school social worker????
I'm still speechless and agry after only reading this story....wow
I hope OP has a very hard talk with his wife and sets some firm boundaries otherwise this would not be the end of it. OPs wife is such a airhead,i see her capable of introducing Lisa into his family ...
Thanks for the video LG. No one should ever blindside a loved one. Total disrespect. See you tomorrow
So OP was forced into this? Well this will not go good
So the parents knew his sister was bullying and harassing him...... So they decided to send him away. This kid never had anyone back him up in his life
Every last adult in this story failed OP on so many levels. First and foremost, his wife didnt have his back AT ALL and was consistently boundary stomping. His whole life his siblings never tried to protect him to take his side or support him. They didnt even believe him until the psycho sister turned on THEM when he finally managed to get away and distance himself from them. His parents failed him, his mother especially, sending her daughters after his wife to manipulate her into getting him to reconcile so they can all be "one big happy family again"
Seriously, everyone failed OP so hard. And Im sorry, but that ending wasnt a happy one. They basically berated him with "Im Sorrys" and emotionally wore him down and weaseled their way back into his life. Why though? Why now? OP mentioned being a lawyer. Might have something to do with it.
My oldest 1/2 brother 74 and I 59, have not communicated in 40 years. He treated me bad as a teen. He is in bad health and reached out to me. I sent word I didnt want contact. Years of therapy made me strong.
Story 1: OP doesn't have a family problem, he has a WIFE problem. His family is an issue that has been dealt with already, his wife, on the other hand, is actively sabotaging and disrespecting him
Edit: Highly disagree that this was a positive update. His wife is a horrible person and has zero respect for his boundaries. This is going to blow up into OP's face.
His wife should support HER husband, and NOT the toxic sisterhood BS.
It’s rich that OP is now a lawyer.
Story 1: wait wait wait wait. She knew about the more recent incidents with lisa (along with op's past bullying) and still invited lisa to his house to meet their daughter and speak to him again.
IS THAT WOMAN SANE?! He needs a divorce, because no only did she know the abuse he suffered from his sister, she invited an actively dangerous woman who is known for harming children (op and their nephew) into a home with their baby.
Of all the channels on UA-cam that do story telling you and Mr. Ballen are the best. You’ve got relationships and rocks horror. You’re awesome
Sounds like OP’s sisters
Got a good taste of karma.
Lisa claimed she was traumatized by abuse?
Any reason not to suspect this of being just another lie?
That’s How I’d bet.
Op’s family enabled the family psychopath for years.
I don’t see the upside
Of making contact again.
I would seriously
Rethink the marriage.
The wife is untrustworthy.
"Fortunately My Parents didnt buy it" GOOD!!!!