Ignoring a narc is like stabbing them with a knife and twisting it. It's the worst thing you can ever do to them! Don't argue and don't get revenge. Just ignore them and live your best life. That is their TORTURE.
R Monty I applaud your comment. You are absolutely right. 👌🏻 Today, after years of going ‘Partial’ No Contact with two narcs-meaning I have dealt with them on the phone, but haven’t seen them-I decided that’s ending too. I have blocked any way of them contacting me on social media, or being able to watch me. I am going to buy a new house phone, too, with caller display. So if their number pops up, or a ‘No ID’ call comes through, I will let my hubby take that call. They are my hubby’s parents. They have stressed him out during his life so far, and they won’t change. I won’t spend another 16+ years dealing with their shit-NO WAY!
Chance Gamble that’s great! Mine are doing the exact same thing, because I now keep a distance from them. I haven’t seen them for AGES! It feels so good! I don’t intend on getting together with them anytime soon, as I know the moment I am in their actual physical company, they’ll start their crap.
This people are absolutely beyond inhuman. From envy they even go so far as to destroy my material items like my car. They are my family this sick individuals. Sometimes I ask myself: "Who are this people "?(family). Once you have knowledge then you KNOW.
What to do when (my father) is narcissist or sociopath who treatens me...-if i tell anyone whats going on that he will kill me...-and has 2 hidden guns and a silencer? And it has come to a point where I have no job or no one beside,social life or anything?! BTW -for now,only my therapist and ex girlfriend knows...
Pretty accurate. My narc ex girlfriend "chose" me as her target 10 years ago... I won't give details; it is enough to say that she destroyed me in every aspect. I spent almost a decade trying to figure out: why me? She could have chosen someone richer than me. Only recently I came to the conclusion that she chose me because I was excessively naive, kind, and I had zero self esteem. This is the profile they seek. These people are like vultures. They are like an opportunistic disease. She knew that she could control me. When I finally woke up, and tried to break free, she did everything to destroy me. She even filed a false report against me. She hurt herself and told the police I did it. I almost went to jail. The worst part of this is that we have a child (despite the fact she told me she was infertile), and you people can't even fathom what I went trough ... My daughter is also a victim. She is basically a hostage... I came out of this relationship as a very damaged person... I have PTSD symptoms from it... I can not enjoy things anymore... the sun, the wind, the simple things of life... I also don't have dreams anymore. Narcissists kill you from the inside. Trust me, it is better to die than to meet one of these people. It is like dying, but they don't bury you. A fate worse than death.
I am going through the same thing with my ex. She continues to do everything in her power to ruin me in every way. Everything she does to me she tells people I am doing it to her.
After 40 yrs. I found out & it gets worse every day. Holidays with a narc what a joke. No more, I moved out of the bedroom, I don't have an intimate relationship but because of the financial situation he put me thru, he took my savings, inheritance & wants my pension so he can turn it over to his other family. I am waiting for him to either leave, die or get sent to jail for being a thief. And I can be VERY patient now that I know how to protect my money, property but most of all self cause he tries to get people to kill me. My death would just be reported as a heart attack or being in the wrong place at the wrong time with all of the insecurity & killings going on here in Mexico. And he talks bad about me how mean I am, how I don't take care of him, how I make him suffer. In the meantime he wears raggy clothes, drives a piece of shit car, tell people I won't watch our money & we can't pay for regular upkeep on the house. All of the business money goes to his other family. Since he makes me live off SSI, gives me a couple of hundred dollars every 3-4 months. And people believe all of his lies until they meet me & talk to me....Wow they thought I was ok with his string of women that go to his work to take money. Cause he never tells anyone he is married. yeah right he is living with his housekeeper/accountant but he is married to someone else with kids....Oh yeah he went crazy when he asked me to buy an off brand bottle of rum to save money...and I said no at this point in my life if I can't spend a couple of dollars more for the booze I like even though I am not a big drinker. well I bought the high dollar booze....he goes crazy when I make a drink....I really am a nice person but I love it when I say NO.
Same thing happened to my brother. I do hope you will find joy and happiness in your life. Don't give up. Don't allow the narcissist destroy you. Stay strong!
God bless all of you that commented on this thread even though one was 5 years ago. I pray all 3 of you are doing better today and that God has helped you all deal or get out of the abusive situations. Thank you for watching and commenting. Hugs to you all.
I had a very nice healthy selfteem and they destroyed me anyway. My mistake was to trust my mother, brother and sister and try to keep contact in the distance with them. Broke me in every sense.
It took me almost 50 years to figure out why my mother treated me like she did. Great to her friends, but the verbal abuse for me throughout my life, almost destroyed me.
We understand we are in our 50's and discovered recently within that past few years. A lot of us realize it later in life. Yes these monster try to destroy us.
Same here, I went through the 'not getting it' for 49 years. It is like being brain- washed! It almost destroyed me too!!!I am in the process of trying to become independent. I have to live with my abusive parents, especially my mother, till I can earn enough to be financially independent. It is so hard, because I see the abusive behaviors, but can't do much about it, yet. I think, I believe I have the talent and drive to be successful/self-supporting, but somehow I don't really believe I can do it because of 49 years of abuse and being told I can't do it and never will. I am getting 4.0s in school and on the Dean's List and I am going to join Phi Theta Kappa because I got a 3.6 (cumulative) GPA right now. But it feels so empty, like it doesn't count. Probably because of my abusers and the stories they told me and others about me.Every dream I had, every career I wanted to do was ridiculed, mocked and I was told by the people (parents) I thought loved me and would never lie to me or hurt me that it was stupid or I couldn't do it, etc. My parents did the same thing to my daughter when she lived with them for 3 years. It has still affected her to this day, even after her getting away from them for 3 years, now. I have been a stay-at-home mom all my life with no means to support myself. It took that long to understand what was actually going on. I wish you and everyone peace and happiness, comfort and hope everyone gets the healing they deserve and need.
I stood up to a narcissist, here is what happened: first a fit of rage like that of a five year old. Then attempts of manipulation by portraying himself as a victim. Then physical intimidation. Then threats to hurt himself. And lastly abandonment with attacks to my character. And it all started because I refused to do something his way, but stood my ground as a sovereign individual with my own ideas and opinions.
Isn't it just insane how predictable their behavior is though? I still can't even wrap my mind around it. The exact same thing happened to me when I tried breaking up with my ex, both times. Fit of rage, physical intimidation, painting himself as the victim, threats of suicide, begging me to kill him, etc. It's fucking disgusting how they're carbon copies of each other, not surprised this type of behavior could've been interpreted as demonic possession back in the day.
I'm in awe of you! It took me a decade of my life -- to finally see that I was living with a Narcissist! I may as well have spent those 10 years doing hard time in a maximum security prison somewhere! Because that's what I compare it to today! It was the most horrible time of my entire life! I lived everyday for 10 years -- like someone who was 'sane' who had been thrown into one of those 1950's government run institutions for the insane!
Some Random Fellow I stood upto 3 narcissists at the same time (my father, mother and brother). Here's what happened:- 1) Rage and yelling 2) Portrayed themselves as victim 3) Character assassination 4) Physical intimation 5) Snatched away my phone so that I can't call somebody for help 6) My brother started strangling me. 7) My father tied my legs as I fell on the floor, with my brother on my back strangling me, and started punching me. I barely escaped death. Immediately after attack. My brother threatened me it will happen again. My father told me I called him ugly (I have had enough of him calling me ugly and nasty names so I called him same things). I was attacked so brutally that bruises were all over my face and rest of the body. Veins inside ky eyes broke and it was bleeding inside my eyes. All there started to gaslight me and said I attacked them and tried to murder them. I'm a 97 lbs girl. I couldn't possibly attack three grown individuals. They are devils tbh.
i was with my narc for 36 years....i threw him out 15 months ago....the only reason he never left physically was because i refused to sell my inherited home.....he hated me so much because he could never kill my confidence....couldn't kill my self esteem...couldn't kill me period....he thinks i have give up fighting for what's mine legally,cuz i've gone complete no contact....stupid arrogant fuck....was strong then...and thanks to that thing and what he has done to me....he has created a powerful,educated, prepared and totally fearless little warrior.....stay strong people....pass on your strength and knowledge to those that are in need...spread kindness and light to combat the toxic dark and negative energy
Iam lucky to discover my narc after 6years of marriage with one child.2year old girl. I will be strong for my little girl and leave this fucker asap!! What is even worse for me is that both his parents are manipulative and toxic.i hope to win my court case so I can have full custody of my little 👼
This is the TRUE reason you are tormented and almost destroyed. NOT because you are dependent and weak like many of these 'experts' claim. it is because you are stronger than they are. Always remember that when you are tempted to feel it is YOUR fault somehow. Never take responsibility for what THEY have done. Thank you smakintosh for making me realise why I was targeted not once but twice. Now I can be free again.
Exactly... its your strength, shine, and self esteem that they want. They see you, target you, then steal your qualities all the while taking down your self esteem by the devaluation/discard phases. Leaving you an empty shell and destroyed. They cannot stand it when you get away, replenish, become stronger, more happy, more shining. It enrages them.
I recently have finally accepted the word "codependent" is just VICTIM BLAMING so thats shrinks can pay off their mortgage on their beach house. LIKE LITERALLY YESTERDAY. Yet you're succinct comment is just what I need to not ever entertain that notion again
@@AZDC99 Some people are co-dependent due to being trauma bonded or because of circumstances eg sick relative/spouse dependent on the narc financially.
How long will it take?? My daughter will be 39 this Year. She is a Narcissist!! She said she hopes I die and soon. And my grandchildren are being brainwashed by her!!! That's I really enjoyed this!! Loved the word from the BIBLE ❤️!!!
I was fortunate to be abandoned by a narcissist many years ago. Several years after that he tried to contact me again. I guess he thought he had that much power over me. I didn't want to even set eyes on him again. Wasn't giving him a chance to try to destroy me again.
I know what you mean. My narc abandoned me in 2010, and on Christmas Eve 2017, he called me from a relative's phone number when I visited Chicago, and had the AUDACITY to ask if he could see me and I flat out told him no!! Like, what were we supposed to talk about or do??? Did he really think we would just pick up and resume on a good note?? He really thought he had that much power over me!
This is so very true! I, unfortunately married one and separated from them right now, and in the process of a divorce. Everything was always my fault, according to my spouse. I gotten lied to, cheated on, stolen from etc. but again, I was the blame for all of that too! The best thing my spouse did was walk out of my son & my life for the last time, but this time I did Not take them back! We are in counseling and on our road to recovery!
True. Narcs, together with Psychos are the devil's creation. They are evil beyond comprehension. They are never to be pitied. I was the victim of one. I was abused for years. I am free now, but it's taking a long time to recover. The day will come when they are found out, and are literally disabled for their crimes against humanity. I regard such evil beings as nothing more than Pig vomit.
Abandonment is so very underrated. I read over and over about the poor people who have had a narc abandon them. Thank your lucky starts you got out alive!
..2 months ago the narc discarded me..I called him out on something..He ghosted me after..he wrote a message to me.. *You humiliated me* *it is you're fault* Ofcourse he was the one who humiliated *me* ..in front of my family..Narcs always projecting and telling on themselves.. haven't heard of him since.. I stay no contact🎉
It's probably has more to do with how they were discarded. The discard is part of the abuse. But after the discard they usual come back trying to suck you back in until the next discard. If you're lucky enough to be fully discarded with no attempts of return the emotional abuse from the act of the discard leaves the victim stunned. if you don't even know about narcassim you just feel like you're the problem. It's such a complicated situation that without the foresight about narcassim you can't appreciate being discarded because it's painful. Only in hindsight.
Penny finally dropped that my dad was a narcissistic sociopath , pulled the plug on our relationship and his first action was to destroy my reputation amongst my family and friends . 10 years later still can't talk to 95 % of my family and moved 2 hours away for a peaceful new life . My mother was also a narcissist but not near so destructive.
It's so hard to keep your cool when dealing with these evil Narcissist. They have a way of getting you so fired up & pissed off. Before you know it your the one screaming & yelling like a lunatic while they are smiling 😡😡😡 - grrrr
So true. I was surprised how much this message helped me understand my mother's actions toward me. When she tried to make me appear insane to the rest of the family she was dealing her darkest and most powerful blow at the end of a lifetime of trying to keep me down. Never underestimate the wrath of a female narc! Thank you for your comment.
Sometimes in exceptional circumstances that they have created for you, you can't leave. And I tried believe me. it took me 18 months and I am still paying the price on a strange continent. I was stuck. Couldn't go forward , couldnt; go back. long story. And over 3 yrs later I still am not clear where I may end up or whether I be allowed to stay here.
I had a relation with a narcist 1y i break up with her she constantly try to contact my family, and make me a bad person i am now fighting almost a month help me
+cathy judge exactly Betrayal hurt bad My daughter was part of the plot Messed my head bad Now I smile He can't even look at me Guilt My daughter and I have mended things God is good They will answer Bless you
At least you got away! My mother lived this nitemare for 45 years and died this past December without ANY RELIEF! He went on without missing a beat - because EVIL NEVER DIES! Consider yourself lucky...I wish my mom had even just ONE DAY without him :( ~Peace
I worked for a narcissist.. first he tried to destroy me, then he fired me... but I learned so much about me, I feel strong... it's sad for him.. I am free he is not..
I used to get so many dirty looks throughout childhood & teens despite appearing normal and not doing anything strange enough, could always sense that "trait" that I subconsciously registered as a stain in those perpetrators but never consciously addressed it ... now I know why
100% true. Every target/victim of narcissistic abuse should listen to this every day to regain perspective on what happened and gain control once again of themselves. Inspired and truthful.
There's 2 things I do after waking up in the morning. 1st thank God for showing me what was going on. 2nd remind myself whatever comes out their mouth is lies
I’ve encountered many narcissists in my life, mostly the grandiose sense of self worth is a defence mechanism because they have low sense of worth and need to prove how “ superior “ they are.
"All of the feigned and fake acts of kindness heaped on you by the narcissists, they'll be thrown back in your face as examples of your selfishness and your pettiness. As well as the narc's mercy and tender heartedness." This perfectly describes the situation I am. I feel like I am left with no other option but trying my best to avoid and ignore them without any explanation. I do not want to give them the fight that they want. There is no sense in trying to talk to them because there is absolutely no reasoning with these people. It is impossible to have an honest conversation with them.
momoffour2004 Oh don't I know. It is literally, virtually, positively IMPOSSIBLE to reason with a malignant narcissist, especially if they have assigned you the role of scapegoat (a nice term that could also refer to the family idol "sacrifice"). I used to read verses in Proverbs that counselled never attempt to reason, much less argue, with an evil man. I just sort of glazed over those scriptures with a "ho-hum" attitude. Not any more. I am sorry you are dealing with the mind and gut twisting self-pity tactics that seem to attack us at the very core of our consciences. Unless one has experienced this first hand, they have no idea how psychologically torturous it can be. Thank you momoffour for watching and thank you for your comments.
momoffour2004 I know this is an old comment, but this is LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT I AM CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH, and boy howdy, is it ever a weight off my shoulders to know I'm not crazy.
***** I'm sorry to hear that, but at the same time it is good that you are seeing what is going on. Judging from your picture, you look like you are pretty young still and the fact that you can put a name to what you are going through right now will be a huge advantage to you. No, you are not crazy and definitely not alone!
The most difficult thing for me to do was to accept the narcissists in my life as they are and walk away. What triggered it was them telling me I was narcissistic. I looked it up and saw a few traits that I thought applied to me and sought the help of a counselor. My counselor and I laughed about it after a few sessions. They won't get me back. I lost money, the love of children and nearly my career over the narcissist. She simply does not know that anyone exists other than herself. I regret the day I ever met her.
***** Thank you. It is a distant memory now so the sting of the losses are not really there. I am still open to the children, but I am not too hopeful that they will change their minds. Thanks again, Skeptnick.
Joe Tullius Mine accused people around them to be to deflect off them. I had no idea what it was when they said it. Because CPTSD my narc mom caused me made me find out about it later because of the dissociation.
I have been no contact from my female Narc since March 2021, 1 year After COVID. I lived with my female NARC through COVID and lived to tell about it. COVID didn't get me, but my NARC was killing me slowly. Each month of no contact, I count as a victory.
They will NEVER unless forced with no out, admit to their wrongs to you. Or anyone else that hurt in the process. It would undo their whole life. Only God could change their heart.
Yes. I was married to a narcissist. I look back now after learning the signs, and I am realizing what went wrong. He couldn’t control me which made him more in rage. But seeing he had ways of manipulation and the means to bait me into arguments and then set me up, I didn’t know how to act. I was always afraid of him, but not now. He was always in the background of my life even though we were divorced lurking and talking crap and slander against me. He thinks he is all powerful because of his so called position of authority along with his other mi ions of phycopathic minds. The crimes they are doing to me are backed by the authorities of my town. Gangstalking and cyber bullying harassment hatred. I am in good hands though. My testimony is a good one. Has lasted for 6 years. They have destroyed it. But they have no clue what they have done to help me. God will use my enemies to promote me to the next level. Read about Joseph. Many people in the Bible to look to when circumstances can’t be understood. Joseph,Job,King David,John,Paul, and the main man Jesus. Thank the Lord I started studying the Bible in 2010 and researching before I entered this horror. My help comes from the Lord Jesus Christ. They just don’t believe it. That’s where they are defeated. Hey look up our redemption is drawing nigh.
@Kathy zrinyi That's what you realise when you've dealt in some way with a narcissist is that they 'set you up' so many times! The Narcissistic set up. Particularly the covert narcissist types. Master manipulators. Yes, they don't realise that our VICTORY lies in finding and/or establishing a stronger understanding and relationship with GOD! 'Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).🙏🏾✝️ And always remember that 'we are not fighting flesh and blood' ie the person in front of you but the demonic spirit that is within and controlling that person ie they are under demonic possession. Ephesians 6.
You just described my parents and most of my siblings. Thank God for my husband and children. There’s hope in Christ, I was rescued from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by narcissists like this. There are out of my life and my kids will never be around them.
Dead on; they hate anyone who is autonomous; can think and feel, or who has a purpose. A narc exists; does not feel, but has learned to feel as a theatre. A film can elicit emotion; crying; so can a narc, but in the end it is a film, and you are living life all alone. Good luck with that.
I have a older sister like this who had totally destroyed my life. All my life she slandered me to my other siblings while exalting herself. She controls them all. Even when my beloved brother says things they are through her influence. She hated me her whole life and feigned love. She did this with anyone she could not control. She acted like she was 'helping' me and crowed to all what a wonderful martyr she was. When I was 19, I had a nervous breakdown because she wouldn't let up on fault finding. I hurt dreadfully to this day because of her "kindness".
+Hannelore Tepper Angels Cat Sanctuary inc, I sooooo understand. It is painful and affects our sense of belonging and self worth. They can't love properly or think they do. It is very very difficult. Hug to you and carry that with you....
I always knew there was something in him that hated and wanted to annihilate me! it was like the enemy was speaking the most hateful things to me right out of my husband's mouth. nothing was off limits. it was a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions that ultimately turned into a fight for my life. there were times when I believed he wanted to take me out, literally. his self hatred transferred to me whenever I confronted him. the motorcycle ride down a dark highway with him going almost 100 mph and me behind him holding on....after he had continued drinking with his friend who lived 20 miles from our home... let me know he had no value of my life or love for my children. his dark wanted to destroy my light. I finally found the courage to leave but that has been met with accusations that I had a secret plan for a year to do so. also his knocks on where I now live. never a nice word. it's a dark, crazy ride that one takes when climbing in board with a narc. how well I know.
I went no contact with my mother, father and sister. My mother is the narc, but she has got her hooks in so deep with my dad and sister, there is no reasoning with them. My mother has worked her magic to turn them against me anyways. Life is better without her. I now have a clear picture why she hurts on purpose. I have always thought to that she hoped I would kill myself so she could claim I am lost and she didn't know why I was so lost...for her drama as a sweetheart. The most damaging thing to do to her is nothing, and live with joy and purpose...that's when she can't stand me.
+77Tadams I'm the youngest of 3, and my father is a narcissist and sociopath. I haven't spoken to him in 20 years and don't miss him. He, like your mother has done, turned my older sisters and anyone else he could against me. He's done the same with my mother. He started realizing he couldn't control me when I was about 13, and he hated me for it. I think people who know who and what they really are make them feel threatened. What completely throws me is you'd think your other family members know you and would be able to recognize their crap for what it is. Does that confuse you, too? Anyway, it is not possible to have any kind of meaningful relationship with narcissists. They are so unhealthy to be around.
+infancysguard It isn't surprising to me that my sister and dad are not speaking with me because my mother is fully controlling them. They are afraid of her and don't want to cross her because she might do to them what she did to me...completely banish me from the family. People like this are very unhappy if you don't do what they want you to do and you are suppose to follow the script that they hand to you with no questions. Although she is running the family and telling lies all the time, she has a big roar that is all talk...all you have to do is live a happy life and these people are tyrants of control...they cannot stand that you can live without them and do fine...they view you as an extension of themselves and nothing more...once you get your own mind they will do anything they can to tear you down and break you into submission. They do this by gas lighting, telling lies about you, making you look like you are the crazy one...but it is a lie they want you to believe so you fall in line like the rest of the family does. Took me a long time to see that. IT is crazy...you can take yourself out of that loop though.
+77Tadams True, the only option is to remove yourself from their presence. If you're not one of their disciples, then you're an enemy. One thing that sticks in my mind and just about sums things up, is something my mother told me. My father was in the army and had spent a certain amount of time away. When he came back my eldest sister, a toddler, wouldn't have anything to do with him. While she was learning to walk she would always come to my mother. One time she went to him and he immediately said, "You've lost her, Jeannie." Sick, isn't it? What I don't understand is how they escape being the ones who are ostracized from the family. Yes, they lie about you. But what is it that makes one person aware of it, and others not? Are we just more perceptive? Is it that simple fact that we do value individualism more? Anyway, God bless you and everyone else who has suffered this kind of treatment. And God bless these bullies; they probably need it even more than we do.
+infancysguard My mother became violent when I was an adolescent. She could tell by the way I looked at her that I knew she was crazy. I did become uncontrollable and rebelled big time against rules that were designed for 5 year olds. And she and my stepfather never stopped nagging and criticizing me. It was constant. My stepfather also had insulting nick names for all of us which were embarrassing in front of other people.
+Anne Boleyn I can relate, as no doubt others here can also. When my father started realizing I had a mind of my own and did not see him as this perfect, flawless human being, he started hitting me for things that showed even the slightest sign that I thought he was wrong about something. He would always go off on someone who took issue with him on something, even when I was real small. I didn't understand it then. He's crazy, like your mother. My father grew up on a Kibbutz (my mother isn't Jewish and I was raised Presbyterian). When he was still just a boy the other adult members of the Kibbutz basically told my grandparents that if they didn't take him to a psychiatrist then they'd have to leave the Kibbutz. They chose to leave. I'm sure he was causing all sorts of trouble there, because he brings turmoil, problems, and conflict wherever he goes. As my mother put well, he always stirs up the environment. I had a stepfather who was abusive too. Liked to humiliate and degrade, as well as being physically abusive. So you started realizing what your mother was when you were about my age too?
My girlfriend kept telling me "I just think God wants me to serve you, and love you, and support you." Meanwhile her family and my own worked swiftly to try to destroy my career opportunities and get me destroyed. They stole money, gas lighted me, destroyed my property, slandered me, and then called me the narcissist. My entire belief system is Christian first and libertarian second. You have the right to choose and do whatever you want: if you do wise things I'll want a relationship. If you do unwise things, I don't want you affecting my life. They call me un healthy for living that way. Thank God they only understand Christianity from a worldly perspective! They can't perceive goodness, for the darkness comprehended not the light... Jesus Christ is a blessed being indeed 😊
If you explain further then maybe i can respond. I think if you are enmeshed with a narcissist and there are children then i would say it must be extremely difficult .
To make a long story short my wife has conned me into giving up everything and move 900 miles away from my family She has all the money even money I was going to use for my business turned off my phone and now I'm jobless for the first time in my life and she is playing on it like I'm a lazy looser to her rich parents that we live by now. I have a 9 month old and a 5 year old with her that I dearly love. like I said this is the short version I've been keeping a journal for about a month now it's longer than a book. I'm 45 years old. I now have nothing.
Omg...this is so true. The narcissist in my life has tried to control me all my life. From the way I wash dishes, to my finances, my clothing and even the way I think. She can't stand to see me happy. And nothing infuriates her more than the fact that I'm unyielding to her bossiness. Everything I do is under constant criticism and even even I'm very successful at something, I am still given negativity. It does not matter even when I'm better at a particular thing than she is, it still isn't good enough. I'm stupid, irresponsible, hateful, weird, something always. One of the ONLY times she's ever nice to me is if I'm doing something for her. If it isn't FOR her specifically, the best I get is indifference. When I was younger I believed much of what was said about me. She seemed to take a sick sort of pleasure in that. Now I'm grown and although extremely hurtful, I don't believe it and brush it off mostly. That infuriates her and makes her meaner, like she doesn't stop until she breaks me down. I hate it!
WOW- I relate to everything you Just said. But, I don't get why they are like that. I have pointed out their behavior to them, since I am living with them, for now. They said to give them examples of what I am talking about. Like they treat me like I am not even a real person, always attacking me with no provocation and then saying I cause all the problems. Were they abused as children? I don't understand why they enjoy hurting me and don't want me to have ANYTHING. I was always told everything was my fault. I had 'emotional problems" . I was too sensitive. too emotional. It really HURTS! If you can't trust your own parents... your family, your own husband even; who can you trust??? I HATE IT TOO!!! I just want it to stop, but don't think it ever will. I don't want them to go to HELL, but they seem to have no love or light in them and enjoy and live to destroy other people, mostly me , I guess. I believe I am the Scapegoat. I wish you every good thing and will pray for you. Please pray for me too. Anyone out there reading this, please pray for me and all the others.
You WILL go insane if you tolerate that behavior any longer! I briefly did with mine, but not being a slave to mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse is amazing! The day I left a weight was lifted. I still struggle daily, but talking to my true friends and family keep me on level ground reminding me of who I really am. A compassionate, understanding person... Don't believe the BS or the guilt, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING WORTHY OF RESPECT! Get out, get out, GET OUT! These relationships can escalate to unfathomably crazy levels in a hurry if they arent aren't already there!
Cheryl Shollack- - You are NOT the scapegoat first off, please know that. You are the only rational one in that household from what it sounds like. They label you a scapegoat bc they have no rational grounding within them. You are right in saying they have no love or light in them. These people are evil and destroyers of good hearts such as yours. I thought tirelessly about why my narc was the way she is. Assuming what she told me about her childhood was true, it made perfect sense why she behaved the way she did. But that only made me have compassion for her and try to stick it out, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! Bottom line is they don't treat you with the dignity you deserve. Period. They CAN go to hell. Because you have a heart you wanna see that light in them and give them compassion, believe me I understand that. They HATE your compassion, it sounds crazy because it is! You are dealing with unhealthy, imbalanced individuals. That empathy you have is a wonderful TRUE GIFT, embrace it, but don't squander it on people that don't possess it themselves. Enough is enough and you deserve so much better. Not trying to scare you, but like this video says, if you call out this behavior like you say you have, RUN! Because they are thinking in their selfish little minds how dare you question their hurtful, delusional, outright insane behavior. If it's all about them ALL the time, How can they be wrong? That's why they are always the victim and make you out to be the big bad wolf 24/7 for simply demanding kind treatment. They will only continue to hurt you more and more until there is nothing left. Please get out today!!
My mother was the narc in my life. All you have said is the total truth. You can't get to square one with this personality. Cold, calculating, and verbally brutal. I am now a survivor. My mother is now on her death bed expected to die within days I would suspect. We will only be having a graveside service which is such a sad thing. She has no friends, and the family has nothing to say at a full service. We do not respect her, and many may feel similarly as I do about her. It is a sad fact. She has Alzheimer's. As dementia set in in about 2007 she couldn't hide her demons anymore. Everyone found out the truth about her victimizing me, and my dad. Dad passed in 2006. Strange that I became her caregiver for about 5 years. I am possibly in the best place I have ever been now. I forgave her a long time ago, so I could move on. I believe I am now supposed to get involved with helping others in a greater way than what I have been one by one on my own. God placed this on my heart as a way to serve God, and others. I have been praying all this time, and God gave me a big message in August to join a large local church I'm sure to lead me to a place I can be of service in this way to many. Can you give me pointers for some closure. I do feel a void, and am not sure how to feel about her departure from life. I realized when I cut all contact three years ago that I actually had zero love for her. That was an eye opener, but she became so belligerent with me that I could no longer tolerate her abuse. She grew to despise my independence, and strength to defend, and deflect her narciccism. My brother has overseen her care in a rehab and nursing facility these past 3 years near his home some 2-1/2 hours away from where I live. He carries guilt that he did not suffer any abuse from her. I love him so dearly I hold no animosity towards him. I am blessed to have him in my life. I have paid her bills since 2007. My faith taught me to honor my mother through all of this. That has helped a great deal. I am a strong survivor who would like to help others. I currently counsel a friend of my daughters who is about to turn 40, and still in the throws of her narc mom, and sister. I would like to get involved through my church or a local abuse counseling organization. Any pointers for further education for me, or direction would be most welcome? Strange that I have grown into the person I was always meant to be only stronger. I love people, am driven to God's best for me, and others minus the negative upbringing. My name "Rebecca" in Hebrew interestingly means peacemaker.
Rebecca Bailey You're an inspiration to all who are in similar situations - trying to come to grips with a relative or partner with this personality curse...! Have you ever considered setting up an account like this with You Tube and helping others by passing on your experiences and insights to others who are still trapped and confused??
Absolutely true... I was a possession and slave to the master manipulator Narc. I have been married 44 years now and he is only getting worse. I run myself ragged trying to please & fix & make life easier for him the classic victim. Then there is the verbal abuse and the lies and the denial and the criticism. It has got to a point where I am not allowed to have an opinion. I have been telling him for years he needs to modify his behaviour as I am not coping as I am getting older. . Why would he? It has worked so well for him for years!! A year ago I had an emotional meltdown after another ther one of his drama filled faux suicide threats. After I got home all he could say was that he was sooooo embarrassed and humiliated that I stayed away for 10 days to recover. This was the last straw for me. I am now seeing a therapist, have read everything I can on the subject and have emotionally & psychologically disassociated. I have moved into the spare room. I am not in the position to leave YET. I would love to have the final discard happen!!! Good luck to anyone else in this position. It is soul destroying but I have learned to put myself, my health and sanity top of the list for the first time in my life.
Summer Wine Hope you are ok, my ex was a narc, and I understand everything you’ve been going through. I really hope you’ve found the strength to leave.
It is very difficult to spot a narc as they are cunning and manipulative it took me over 30 years to recognise my best friend as a psychopath and a marc Get as much knowlage about narc traits as possible and observe very closely each new person in your life and if you spot a narc simply cut all contact
I am a narcissist (I score a 29 on tests, average is 12-15 and above 20 is narcissist) but it doesn't always work this way. I can feel emphaty if I want to and won't hurt anyone unless necisarry. And my 3 best friends are the people I can't control. It is annoying, yes, but it keeps things interesting and I like them and don't want to hurt them. Thing is though, I don't think all narcissists are as friendly as I am so here some things I think people would need to do to get away from me: 1. Don't give compliments anymore 2. Never be the one that starts the conversation 3. Don't cause much drama, we love drama 4. Almost never agree with them and keep your own opinion, but don't start an argument that can be amusing. 5. Be plain boring and annoying. Good luck.
Stella Smith I am almost always shocked when a narcissist replies with helpful tips. The narc I live with thinks she is perfect. She would NEVER admit to being one and even got oddly suspicious when her daughter asked her what a narcissist was (since her mother had called someone else one). Thinking of all the interactions between them, I can see how your tips make complete sense. This woman used to try and control me but I say next to nothing to her now. She keeps her comments and questions to me neutral and I keep my answers the same but it's painfully obvious she has absolutely no use for me, not that I am complaining. Thank you for the help. I am going to pass it on to her daughter.
+Stella Smith *HAHAHA...These are the ways I conduct myself toward my N abuser and when she has gone too long without attention she STILL STARTS A FIGHT AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS I GET UP AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM. She has now decided it's time to THROW ME OUT OF *HER HOUSE*. as she has put it.*
Sid Young Take this as an opportunity to be free. You don't need to continue in that relationship. If you didn't have this push to leave her, she's now given you the chance. Go now, and don't look back. She'll change her mind when you've taken her up on this offer, because no drama on a daily basis will bore her. But don't fall into the trap again. Just keep on walking away. Ignore the territorial words she used regarding the house, get out, get a lawyer, divide stuff up and get away from her. Best wishes.
Yes, when I left my ex psychopathic husband, he tried to control that as well, by trying to force me back with threats. When he realized that nothing he said or done was working. That my family was supporting my decision to no longer have him in my life in anyway. That all the threats, lies and demands he made were useless, is when the real hard smear campaign was used against me. Thing was, his supporters were few and far apart(his mom and sister) His effort to even try to get me thrown out of my sisters home, by saying i was this and that....done him no good! These monsters can't have a healthy relationship of any kind, nor a healthy relationship break-up either! Yet, they will always lay the blame of everything, at the feet of everyone else! It's always your fault! Glad to be free from such an evil shell of a person! thanks for making the video, God bless.
Sounds familiar. To hear my ex tell it, no woman (even his mother) ever did him right, and he never did wrong. It was his mother's fault, his sister's fault, his ex wives, his ex-girlfriend's fault. Funny, he's the common denominator.
Christine Thats exactly right,its everyone else fault in every failed relationship they have, they have been told most of their lives how goodlooking/wonderfull/special they are that they believe their own press,so when a partner sees the real 'them" they cant understand it...they are not usualy too bright.
The family system as a whole can be the thing that takes you down this way. Each member is a cog in the machine. I've lost everything and I felt required to give up what I cared about.
Beware of SELFISH people !!!!!! They are USERS!!!! Incredible great video !!! Filled with much education. It was the Narcs that gave this video thumbs down.
My father and brother are Narcs. Since I favor towards doing what makes me happy rather than appeasing to them, they cut me off since they have no further use for me. I guess I am one of the fortunate ones.
This is so true. Once I married my current husband my narc sister felt her loss of control over me. She tried to humiliate my husband, putting him down, his kids down, and yet to his face giving gifts and acting kind. She then set out to destroy my marriage, family relationships, and self-esteem. I finally caught on and confronted her on an issue, she has not talked to me since. Abandonment that saved me. At this point I am not sure who she has left of the family aside from his husband and children. This I can not even confirm as I have no contact. She has total control over her grown children as well, so I don't dare try and talk to them although I miss them dearly.
3) If you do not give a narc what they want, they will try to: Make you feel guilty - Will put you down. - Will get angry - Will try to garner evidence that your thinking is wrong - Will try different angles to get you to change their mind. - Will use their friendship as a weapon to get you to change.
I feel like my entire life has been a battle of me against them. Every ( almost every ) man has tried to break me in some way shape or form and they always try to bring me down because I have a healthy self esteem. I always attract these demons.
10 years on from my ex dumping me after she had taken everything and left me homeless she is still trying to destroy me. My sisters and two older daughters no longer speak to me but no one will tell me what I have done. My son was thrown out on the street by her because he wouldn't fall for her lies. He now lives with me. She no longer lets me see my youngest daughter. This video explained a lot to me but I am totally stuck and don't know where to turn to now.....
tigerspuds You can either accept what I'm going to say or reject it, your choice. Remember, women are heard creatures. I'm going to assume you're having a hard time financially and in your sisters and daughters eyes, you are viewed as an embarrassment, failure, etc. Due to your lack of status, you bring no ability to further theirs. Don't give up on yourself. Fight.
tigerspuds turn to Jesus He will restore your life like He did with me is the only road to repair so much damage no man have the power God will defend you from this demonic attack
tigerspuds ......When a person won’t tell you what you have done, it is because you have done nothing. They can’t tell you, because there is nothing for them to say. They are losers. They are worthless. They are trying to control you and ‘play’ you by causing you to anguish over ‘what you did’. This is a sick game of abusive narcissistic people. Don’t give it another thought. Clearly, you did nothing wrong. I cried crocodile tears over the loss of a friendship. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I wracked my mind. I couldn’t think of anything that I may have done or said to have caused her to turn on me so suddenly and completely. And not only that, another coworker warned me that she was trying to get others together in a plot to cause me physical harm! This coworker told her that they would be no part of it, and warned her against it! I did nothing to her. And I certainly didn’t do anything that would warrant being physically attacked by a group of people! It was like she was a whole different person overnight. I didn’t know who she was anymore. Even when I observed her from afar, she was a different person. It was like something from ‘Invasion Of The Body Snatchers’. Surreal! I didn’t know who she was anymore. I changed departments after that. I am finding that a very large portion of the world are narcissistic psychopaths. I have a very hard time trusting anymore. I don’t want friends either. I miss them sometimes, but I don’t want to be feeling for the knife in my back.
I refuse to be controlled by my narcissistic family of whom I have already cut ties to. My fiance and I will always have our guards up, because we know that my narc family is always plotting to destroy us. Right now I suspect that they are plotting ways for my fiance to lose his disability just because he tries to do some things here and there. And of course I have a pending worker's compensation claim which I know that they're trying to intrude and try to discredit my claim and they have no idea what hell that I have been through. I know and believe that only God knows my situation and he will protect me from these evil narcs that I have broken ties with. They are so jealous and envy me because of the gifts and blessings that God has given me. I'm a constant threat to these narcs of mine that they know what I'm very capable of doing that will outshine them. My narc sisters the things that they obtained was through doing things dishonestly. These range anywhere from lying on their resumes to having people lie for them to put them into a good light to doing some things that I suspect that they are doing illegally. Unfortunately I don't have the evidence but I know that God will give me those answers when he feels is the right time for me to know.
Mary Allen It is good you went no contact with your narc family. The less they know about your business the better. If we seek God he will answer, God he will protect us and if we listen he will warn us of danger. God Bless Mary Allen Thank you for your comments.
I've never really thought of narcissism running through the family but reading your comment is kind of reassuring as I'm sure my gf family has at least 5 on her moms side. They will put her down any chance they get even when there is good news. I just hope she can find the courage to leave them as you did as I know she would be happier without them but she needs to come to this decision on her own. All the best.
ghostkillah Killa It's been years now, but my sister who was 15 years older than me had always tried to control my parents, other sister and myself. She had skirted around us for years and I just accepted that she was just the oldest child and felt the need to be bossy. Then when she was in her 40's she moved back home. (Her husband retired from the service) and we the family, realized her growing dominance and control over us. One by one, the family stood up to her demands and SHE severed ties with us.
ghostkillah Killa No, no misunderstanding -- I was just sharing an experience and how it happened in our family dynamic I am here on this site, because now I have realized my martial distress is a result of my narcissist husband. I am moving on as soon as my 'duck's are in order'. Beware to you and gf -- the narcissist's are out there everywhere. Study the signs to look for. I have had 3 major hurtful experiences with narcissists. Really---steer clear of them!
This is true. My ex came right out and said that he wanted use my soul as a stepping stone to gain a higher position in hell. It just goes to show how incapable of remorse he really was. He knew exactly what he was doing, and didn't feel an ounce of guilt.
I feel these people are the devils or devils spawns...no way can a person who believes in god act or treat others in such a demeaning. Manner..everything they are goes against gods word...even in the bible
This is my dad. He claims hes a christian. I believe he was at one time. But he went back to the old ways, even though he continued to attend church. He use to say, he was the great pretender. I now understand why. I have been a christian many years. My good mom died 13 yr ago. My dad hardly ever contacted me after her death. Took up with 2 women. He always cheated on my mom until the day she died. It took me many years to realize he was a narc, because I really didnt know what that was. He has hurt so many in the family. But would never admit he was the problem. Not good marriage, father, or grandfather material. Its all about him. He is now in a nursing home with dementia and cancer. He cannot even walk on his own. Hes 86. Believe it or not, Im concerned where hes going when he dies, and I did speak to him about it. A part of me wants to go visit him in nursing home, but when I do, it doesnt go well. So Im getting to the place where I dont want to really be around him. So , I pray he will be able to right his wrongs before he leaves this world. I wish he could of realized what he has messed in a relationship with both his daughters.
@7charlierox No. The devil made narcissists. He is the creator of everything evil in this world. He is the prince of this world. But one day soon, God will get rid of him forever. Then there will be no more narcissist, or any evil people. Amen!
I have a "Friend"... that I have know for decades. He always had to be the center of what was going on and always had to have the final say as to what we were going to do. Lot's of ideas of what to do and generally non stop movement and activity, but the minute you insist to do what "You" want to do, it was clear that he would abandon or end the encounter. I finally got tired after countless empty encounters that left me feeling like "A float in his parade" Now I never hear from him. It's a strange, hollow and taxing relationship.
That's so funny because that happened to me on a vacation too, and a field trip ... I notice the bond either gets better or worse when you stay over with friends; you find out who they really are
So funny, I had a friend like that too, we were on a holiday and explained to me it was very rude to be on a phone whilst being at a table with him. We sat there for five fucking hours... Horrible.
Spot on 100% my ex partner......a roller coaster ride of 14 years where they manipulated and controlled everything to fit their hidden agenda and when the time was right and they had squeezed everything they wanted it was time to dismantle everything with the sole purpose of destroying like it didn't exist and they were off but of course a narc never leaves one person unless they have a next victim to attach themselves to and so the cycle begins again for them of fake love.......the new victim is oblivious to what lies ahead for them but bless them for they think they have found the one and are head over heels and in love.......how very wrong they are.
This explains everything. Its like describing my husband exactly; I never had the words to describe him before. Cuz in front of others he has totally charming personality & cuz of all the emotional abuse I have suffered over the years I really get frustrated & agitated & come off as crazy emotional to his family & friends. He isolated me from my loved ones by telling me lies about them or manipulating the facts so I'd distance myself from them. I have lived in isolation for years n years now. But I stood up for myself after my daughter was born & he left us within 3 days of me standing up for myself (3 very painful long days of fight & abuse) & my daughter she was only 15 days old when this happened. Then he came back after 3 months on our elders say so but we now live separate lives though living under the same roof, but don't share a room or anything else. I saw his worst side after my daughter was born & it shocked me to my core that I lived with this rotten man all along not knowing this side of him? And he says I made him this way, he is a good person its me who is evil & shit. And its me who has ruined him & made him selfish & indifferent. I questioned myself till I found out about BPD & NPD. That research explained everything to me. But I don't know what I can do to fix this now :'(
+mirchi83 : I'm in the same boat, but am working at saving every penny and waiting out the next 4 or 5 months so I can leave. I will live in a tent before I stay for any more of this kind of "treatment." I have been ground down to dust. But like the phoenix, I will rise from these ashes! Pray, pray, pray and I ask God to show us The Way. Gracias, Amen.
Catherine S. Todd my wife is the same as your husband and i feel like I'm not even a human anymore, life feels pointless and i feel trapped... how did it go with you? I am also trying to save up and move on but i have a son, my wife is also treating my son like a slave and he is also becoming traumatized... Any good news? Did you move into a tent haha i was also thinking of living in a tent near the ocean if i can't have quick enough...
I can spot a Narcissist a mile away, even though the persona that is portrayed can be very convincing at first, my instinct can detect the deception. My step father was a Narcissist and he controlled the whole family with fear and manipulation. This was good training ground for me. These days i help people break free from controlling/manipulating relationships. Unfortunately many people do not realize the manipulation that is taking place, because they do not know any different. The Internet is wonderful in this way, for it helps people to see the relationship for what it is, and as a result..... hopefully those people will realize they deserve better.
Thank you, you have described my mother. You say *lucky to be abandoned*... yes, though it has been one of the most painful things in my life, because it was my mother, because it was a lifetime of abuse since I was a little girl.... I am *luck* that she abandoned me a year ago because that rendering was so painful that I had no choice but to heal... learning to love myself. Thank you.
At the end of the day it is all the games that they play . If one is careful when dating then one can spot this type. The love bombing , constantly texting you, telling you that you're the best thing since sliced bread. This is usually not a good sign . Dating and falling in love takes time , .The love bomb is an attempt to set you up to think that they have found the love of their life. Be careful not to leave yourself open to this. The next thing may be is that they set you up with some type of crazy making game then tell you that you are crazy. Do no ever doubt your sanity , realize you are dealing with a very sick individual and do not engage. The main thing is be careful when dating then you will have no reason to sit around making films about this type which in itself can be a sickness. Learn healthy boundaries , take care when dating and you then have all the power you need . We as individuals need to learn that it is us and not them that we need to learn about. Learn about the vulnerabilities that leave you open to this type, maybe you are giving of certain signals . There are some good books such as "whos pulling your strings". and a book of this type will make you self aware so you possess the power to choose wisely or at least to not make a poor choice. The "narc" is not that powerful as i said.
Thank you for a Biblical message of strength to understand this dysfunction. I've had several of these types in my life and they do damage you. RUN and take it on the chin if they do retaliate( you cannot fight back) is my best answer and remember that Yeshua (Jesus) loves you. Satan is the primo Narcissist and many who deny Christ are starting to show Satan's personality trait. I believe this is why there is such an increase in this dysfunction along with ones as yourself educating people and bringing this out.
Having been educated at a catholic convent, I found a plethora of narcissists all around me. My (estranged and no contact 5 years )MIL is religious - Narcissist, My first boss when I was working at a catholic school - major narcissist. Tried to get me fired because I was not a churchgoer
ladytess57 yes! my husband exhibits so many evil characteristics! at first it was all charm and placing me in a pedestal. even My brother. who had known him for years. warned me that the only worse person I could have beside me was the devil himself. sadly he passed before seeing me break free.
Before youtube I didn't realize how many people in the world have had the displeasure of having a narcissist or narcissists in their life. The simplistic message is to get away from them. However, oft times, there are individual difficulties in removing a narcissist from ones life. In these cases, my view, is to seek professional assistance to work through the issues to be able to get away from the narcissist. It is not good for you if you delay getting away from the narcissist if there are individual difficulties because the longer one delays the longer they suffer at the hands of the narcissist.
joseph raccuia I completely agree. But be selective of who you choose as a professional (we are not, we are fellow survivors) make sure they are experienced with victims of narcissism.
They get absolutely worse in time, because they refine their perversion, they've learned more about human nature and they have a lot of practice. Having a narc sibling and being in my 50's, I've observed the "evolution", the sophistication of her skills in working on her public image. Having seen how she turned towards our parents as they aged, there's no way I can let her around me as I grow older. She's a soul predator who looks like a saint. I finally decided to run before she destroys my life.
Absolutely SPOT FREAKING ON!!!! My narcissist friend dumped me flat because I finally stood my ground and said "NO!", set a boundary, and flat refused to let her control me any more. Always would viciously attack my character when ever I would not do what she wanted, when she wanted. And this person claims to be a born again Christian.
BINGO, Blue Crystal! Thank you so much for providing me with that wonderful analogy!! It really fits. My Dad infantilized me (or treated me like a child [or "Little DOG"]) & patronized me ever since I was 14 & in a bad head-injury accident. I think that what my dad was really attempting to do was to manipulate me for his own purposes & his own extreme needs for 'control'. In the last couple of years, I've become more aware through watching videos & reading some books & have decided that my Dad behaved as though he were a Covert Narc; I just didn't know it. He sure fooled a lot of people in his life! He even fooled the therapist he had to see bc my daughter had accused him of 'touching her inappropriately. (There is so much more to this story that I'm leaving out.) I am just so pleased to find your "Pet Status" quote!! I am now 64 & I only started figuring this stuff out in the last two or three years or so... I did go 'no-contact' with him the last year or so of his life (my Dad only died about 5 months ago). It's just been very recently that I finally feel I've been "allowed" to 'grow up' & be free (instead of being stunted forever; as if I were some kind of bonsai-tree-gone-wrong). My younger sister & I have now finally made-up with each other & become friends. Everything is so much easier now these days. I don't talk to or have much contact w/my dad's relatives (i.e. my cousins) who were actually flying monkeys for my dad; but who knows what the future holds. What an awful & terrible thing to have a narc in one's life. My sincere condolences to all of you out there who are still suffering with this kind of awful mess in your lives. I also have a friend that's going through a terrible & painful situation with the narcs in her family. I hope she can escape these monsters & flying monkeys that make her life so unweildly
This narc person that you are speaking of, is my wife of 27 years. After 27 years of war between us our children have grown up and have lives of their own now.. They no longer depend on mom and dad for total support. Now I have made it clear to her that I don't have to stay with this. I can move anywhere I want to and leave her behind.. And the thought of no financial support for her has really helped shut her up and keep her in line.😆
Ghostkillah: I agree with you most of my family are narcs some worse than others. My husband helped me go no contact. I would at least recommend it to her if you haven't already. It's hard for some reason we get this enormous amount of guilt for doing it. Once you get past that and keep it up you're on your way to healing. The longer she stays away the more abuse she will remember and see more clearly. I wish you and your GF the best. It's worth it to be free of them the guilt fades. Thank you for your comments.
smakintosh yes i have a narcissistic mother. i gradually cut her off. no one gets it. only youtube channels. even irish counsellors don't know what an adult child of a narcissist is. which is why i do. but yeah you're pretty fucking screwed. especially if you don't have much money. i did not have much money but i wanted so badly to get away from my mother so badly that i managed it.and i have never regretted a decision which not many people understand. my own sanity was at risk so ya know fuck the judgers.i have been judged for this a lot but i find the judging comes from people with good parents.
Judith Thomson set firm healthy boundaries. oh they won't like it one bit. but thats because narcissistic parents only think of life in terms of themselves and how aww their feelings are hurt.
Judith Thomson well... believe it or not... my feelings are hurt when my adoptive mother who i quite obviously did not choose tries to kill and section me. or when she gives all my shit away and eveyone goes wow eleanor is so generous. yes. eleanor is exceptionally generous. with my stuff.aww did she give you a piano? that was mine and i liked it. aww did she buy you a holiday on her credit card? what a gem. did she conveniently forget to tell you gillian paid it off later? thought so.
Judith Thomson they are infuriating. i see people jizzing about my mother on facebook and it made me really just want to fucking kill someone so i have deleted it and just use twitter and googleplus now. but basically...
Oh, they will insist that you are a callous swine for cutting them off. When my narc father tried yet again to make me feel guilty by telling me he loved me, I remarked that he didn't respect me, though. And his reply was: 'What do you need respect for?'. And that's what it's all about. You are worthless cattle to be used and abused, and they get their sick pleasure from it. Expect no respect from these people, even when they are family.
This was the first video I watched on narcissism 2 years ago, when I began my recovery and education on this terrible disorder. It rings true on every level. Thank you to this channel's facilitator. May the Father Almighty bless you.🙏😊👍
A narcissist as a church leader can do more harm that a full army toghether. And drive as much people away from God as Satan itself. The worst part, they'll make everyone believe they're the holy ones and you the perverse one for not submitting to them. May God open our eyes and deliver us from these sheep clothed wolves.
You are so right. I am amazed how gullible church people are. These pulpit predators suck the life out of the church with their domineering, selfish actions. When people refuse to knuckle down to them, they attack with vengeance. They are better, and smarter than everyone else. They blame everything that doesn't work on others. These narc leaders ate toxic and dangerous. Run!!!
c/p my oldest son's reply to my email with this link: Fascinating. I think it's so hard for people to understand because they can't imagine what value the narcissist could derive from creating havoc and destruction, especially since to a sane person there appears to be no advantage to the narcissist in their behavior. They don't understand that to a narcissist, havoc and destruction ARE the payoff. If they can control you they get their narcissistic Supply for a longer period of time, but if they cannot control you, the only other way they can get any supply (which comes in the form of any negative emotion you can provide, fear, pain, jealousy, guilt) is to destroy you. I believe the reason they are so furious when they can't control you is that they are terrified of what they can't control. Control over their Supply is the only thing that keeps them going. When you take that away from them they go nuts.
he wouldnt let me see my children for 2 years.. it was like i was dying ..in fact if i hadnt left him i would have died ,. its true he bought me flowers but only if i deserved them according to him ..
+Finally free from Narcissism It's so devastating, sometimes I still wish I had a loving grandmother like I see others get and wonder if I can repair the relationship. But at least I am free from abuse, I can't keep hoping she will love me.
I have a brand new take on those tormented by a narcissist or narcissists who have been robbing us of our joy and moving ahead in life. This is only for those who do not have to have contact anymore. I am more specifically speaking of a Mother, Dad, sister, or brother, who did the most horrific things to you that years later you are tormented and cannot wrap your mind or emotions around it to move forward while the narcissist is forging full steam ahead with theirs and seemingly to be doing fabulous with their life. This may seem weird, but have you ever heard of the song, "Silent Lucidity?" One of my all time favorites. Kill them off and their very existence in your mind. Train your mind through brainwashing, mind control, hypnosis, guided meditation, and whatnot that they never existed ever. Every bad memory and every good memory where they were in it, rewrite it to erase them and it is very hard at first but it gets easier with time. When someone brings them up in your family or they contact you out of the blue or something when you least expect it, don't acknowledge them. Act like you never knew them or heard of them. I know it sounds crazy. Let your other family members think you are crazy when they say, "I thought about calling "George" today or I heard from "Cindy" in a weird way on Facebook. She contacted me through a cousin saying she wanted to communicate with me. Your response to this family member should always be "Who?" Act like you have never heard of them and convince yourself that you have never heard of them. Like they never existed like in its "A Wonderful Life," with Jimmy Stewart. The first few weeks it is hard, but then it gets easier with time. Also only communicate and form relationships with people who are sane and don't play mind games and are loving and giving and do the same towards them. Also, cut off all the flying monkeys or associates that hang out with your narcissistic relationship and try to get you to mend fences or say things like, Maybe God will bring you all back together again? Just do yourself a favor and erase this person and find love and enjoyment. Do not overcomplicate it. 2019 will be a new year and this person who has caused me years or torment who stole my inheritance, abused my Father, gave everything in the house away will not hurt me because I rewrote those memories out. It is like a bad dream. Remember if it didn't happen and you convince your mind of it, then it can't hurt you and you can slowly, very carefully, break free. May 2019 be a fascinating year and may you all form new ties and loving relationships with normal people!!!!
These people are evil . Im marry with a abusive person . I marry him thinking he was the best person in the world . Because of this manipulative monster I'm going to have to leave the country and have a normal life with my daughter . I'm really in a bad shape right now but I'm going to get rid of this monster . Me and my daughter don't deserve that .
Jennifer, thanks for sharing that you're going through the same situation as myself and for your supportive words! I agree we deserve a great life, free of toxic people and full of positive energy for ourselves! My plan if I ever run into any of my family is to get away without saying a word. They are too full of evil/lies/deceit/self sickness for me to ever put up with again. It's impossible to have a polite conversation with a narcissist without somehow being smeared emotionally by them. Staying on my side of the fence when it comes to thinking about the past is the healthiest option for me. We should be so proud of ourselves for choosing to be who we are inside and not giving into the generational lies and just wrong behavior. All of this has left me scarred but the scars are lessening as I get healthier. Wishing you much love too and a new life filled with joy, happiness and many fun adventures. :)
The best way to handle a narcissist? Be the beautiful, powerful sovereign person that you are. Let them know that you will NOT be bullied or controlled by them. Let them hate on you all they want. Be the hardcharging overachiever that you know you are. You know that you are worthy.
My ex-"friend" is a narcissist. She used everyone in our circle of friends and no one realized it. She made you think that you matter to her until someone new came along and she tossed me aside. She used me and manipulated me all the the time and I never realized it. She would trick me into giving her the homework answers and trick me into thinking certain girls were mean or weren't good people. She would cut me off all of my other friends from me so she could be the only one I would talk to. At one point I felt like I couldn't talk her about personal matters and spoke to a close mutual friend of ours. She soon cut me off from this friend and became friends with her. And the pattern repeated. When this narc felt like she had no use for me and felt threatened by me, she began making me feel insecure about myself. Everything revolved around her and if something was said out of line she turned on you and made you feel bad you even opened your mouth. I started to feel bad about the clothes I wore and I watched what I said. I couldn't be myself, i was being controlled and forced to be this other person. I recently a few weeks ago cut this person from my life and started sitting with a group of completely new friends. It's hard because there were times when I wanted to go back to her and apologize and build up our friendship again. Then I realized that if I wanted to be her friend again I would have to be the person to say sorry because she would never apologize. I'm glad I cut out of my life and its funny to see her get angry when anyone from her circle of friends talks to me.
I am free as my Narsiccitic mother has passed away I left home and moved to another country. I stupidly kept believing her empty promises and went home to visit her many times. my husband always asked why I put myself through the pain I could not answer him I didn't know why. I guess because she was my mum and I thought the way she treated me and my siblings was the norm. these people are evil I am having therapy to help me get more tuned in to my feelings and emotions. If you know for any reason something is not right with either mum, dad, husband or wife. listen to your gut instincts and cut all ties with the person involved. These people will destroy you the physical scares will heal but the emotional scares never always remember God loves you.xx
I lived for 30 YEARRSS with this personality. He was physically disabled too. Exquisite Manipulator. However, his DX is ►Psychopathy◄. Narcissism was part of it, yes...and He was a serious destroyer, even a killer in life before me. I discovered all of that after the fact. I had never known anyone with these sorts of traits so I was baffled for a very long time. I even thought that I was defective for being in the arrangement. Felt like "I could do no better" and stayed stuck... (I was drop dead gorgeous too)--something did have to be awry with me for even letting him into my life. He did in the end destroy me...His destructive stuff started in earnest when I became assertive about I needing to move on. I could no longer be his Care Giver because My body was now giving out; I needed to retire (and I surely needed something refreshing--he was Asexual also). He became very VERY reactionary/squirrely after that; pulling all kinds of stunts (at home) to illicit sympathy. He didn't love. He used. He has since passed away but the destructive forces he set into motion which then led to me being Homeless at 66yrs Old!! continues. I'm still paying for not getting out much sooner. I didn't know.
Essyemmm I am so very sorry! The only good is that he can no longer hurt you. Of course there are the scars that you have to deal with now. I pray for you that you are healed of the pain that this monster has caused. Unfortunately the memories remain but the pain connected to it I pray will be removed. You are not alone God Bless you in your journey of healing.
Essyemmm I'm sorry for your current situation. So sorry. Mine put me and my son on the streets after helping him pay off an IRS lien of 40k on his 500k, mortgage free home. Mine was also asexual. I wonder if that is a trait? I always said, he could never make love because he was too busy f**king me over.
Omgoodness Dear! I am NOT happy that happened to you but I'm a bit relieved to know that I am not alone in this. I have to wonder about that "trait" myself. So many other reports on these Personality disordered creatures speak of excessive sexuality in their partner.. BUPKIS here; Ice cold.. sheesh.. I DO SO hope you are in a better spot now? Many warm hugs and bright blessings to you...
My mother hated my youth and my developing body. She beat the hell out of me because I was a free spirit and talented. When I decided to separate myself she ruined my reputation and told people that I was a drug addict a whore and even tried to destroy my marriage. Thanks for the video my friend . I am just learning how to deal with the issues that she caused in my life. I still can't understand why people believe her when they know my character and yet I am the piece of crap!! My father passed away and it got worse.
John Narayan I don't think I could do that. I think I am better off staying away. If I tried to sue her it would be another way she would try and manipulate my life. Thanks for the edvice tho.
Thank you for your thoughts and information in this video. Wow is all I can say.. you nailed it.. for this is exactly happened to me when I " drew the line in the sand " with my Mother. I could no longer take her toxic behaviors and vicious words against my Dad and pretty much anyone she saw as a threat. I unleashed the Devil when I did that. She became bitter, toxic and slandering my good name and reputation. She even tried to turn my own Son against me. My siblings believed her and they became distant and believe that I hate our Mother . She had them convinced that I treated her horribly after a visit, when in all actuality she treated me with anger, shame, guilt and fear. She would call them and twist the story. Its hard to believe that your Mother would do this, she was very sick ... but now I see myself as a free spirit, and I do believe God created me special with special talents and abilities and I am a critical thinker who can think on my own. NOW I UNDERSTAND why she hated me so much. Painful as it is I DO BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE! Thank you for this insight!
This is a really great meditation. It could be 90 minutes of this and I'd just listen to it over and over.. My "father" is a sadistic, violent and cruel alcoholic narc.This keeps my mind on the positive side of that.
It all makes such better sense now as I knew she had some serious problems but once I caught her cheating, for the umpteeth time in 25 years, I stopped responding to her, told her to leave and then the death glare and Katy bar the door!!! All hell broke loose, I did not know this woman in front of me at all. She split 2,000 miles away leaving the kids and Grandkids and me all wondering what the hell just happened...Now I can wrap my head around it, she had lost all control over me, so I was nothing to her...Good video...Thanks for posting it...
Dude this is so fucking spot on. Excuse my French but I'm the receiving end of this bullshit, with one of these disgusting ass hats and I can't even begin to tell you how you hit the nail on the head. The narc had tried to control me (of course using someone else to do their dirty work) and I refused to comply with their demands. Right away, I called her out (via the same puppet she used to attack me) and I told the puppet that I knew it was the narc who had the issue and that the narc was acting insecure. Two years later, the narc and the puppet, refuse to talk to me because of it. I saw right through her and she panicked. I've made several attempts in the last two years to try and fix things but the narc refuses to talk to me. She has sent out on a smear campaign against me as well. Accusing me of doing and saying all of these horrible things. She knows she cannot control me. What your video helped me with is seeing why she can "forgive" certain people. This has been something I've long wondered about and now I see what it is. Thank you.
+Notorious Lee *What I wonder is who this 89 yr old Mother Narc will do when I no longer live here and cut off ALL TIES. They NEED someone to punish at all times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* *I guess she'll either find some one else or do without and really be miserable!!!!*
Sid Young well I see you wrote this comment 21 weeks ago. I hope by now you are away from the narc. Don't worry. She will find another "supply". You need to focus on your own well being and healing. Best of luck to you.
Ignoring a narc is like stabbing them with a knife and twisting it. It's the worst thing you can ever do to them! Don't argue and don't get revenge. Just ignore them and live your best life. That is their TORTURE.
👏👏👏👏
They won't let go they will follow u everywhere
@@amandalouw2295 i don't because i am shy ;)
No that’s the worst thing you can do for yourself cause they’ll turn to worse strategies to ruin you
R Monty I applaud your comment. You are absolutely right. 👌🏻 Today, after years of going ‘Partial’ No Contact with two narcs-meaning I have dealt with them on the phone, but haven’t seen them-I decided that’s ending too. I have blocked any way of them contacting me on social media, or being able to watch me. I am going to buy a new house phone, too, with caller display. So if their number pops up, or a ‘No ID’ call comes through, I will let my hubby take that call. They are my hubby’s parents. They have stressed him out during his life so far, and they won’t change. I won’t spend another 16+ years dealing with their shit-NO WAY!
A relationship with a narcissist, not matter the duration, is unadulterated emotional rape.
Nyla Evans Exactly!!! Thank you for your comments.
Nyla Evans trouble is that everybodys like that to some degree.
Nyla Evans I see this was 2 years old HOWEVER I MUST SAY I LOOOVE THIS COMMENT. Soooo TRUE💙
Liz Evans yep! Thats what it is. I've said the same thing.
Same thing 😔😔😔😔
My parents tried to break my spirit. They did not succeed but they did break my heart.
Screw them, cut off contact and never look back!
Mary Speidel well expressed.
Mary Speidel i
Soul retrieval work might help you.Loving and nurturing yourself can mend your heart.Best wishes for joyful future.
mine did the same thing my father went so far as to try and kill me but it didn't work praise God!!!
they tried to destroy me but instead destroyed themselves
Chance Gamble that’s great! Mine are doing the exact same thing, because I now keep a distance from them. I haven’t seen them for AGES! It feels so good! I don’t intend on getting together with them anytime soon, as I know the moment I am in their actual physical company, they’ll start their crap.
It’s coming soon to him the universe has fate in its hands
Funny how GOD uses their worst fear against them
This people are absolutely beyond inhuman. From envy they even go so far as to destroy my material items like my car. They are my family this sick individuals. Sometimes I ask myself: "Who are this people "?(family). Once you have knowledge then you KNOW.
That's what I'm afraid of. I think I'll just be a sheep instead.
Remember psalm 118... it is written: I WILL DESTROY THEM! We aren't victims... we are warriors! He who overcomes shall endure to the end ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Amen
preach
Amen
Amen
Amen Sis
Don't worry they never change or heal. Only get worse with Age get Out and Stay Out!!
yep I got out! new future ahead......NO CONTACT
DANIYAH BANYAMYAN BAARA don’t bet on it. These cocksuckers work for Satan.
What to do when (my father) is narcissist or sociopath who treatens me...-if i tell anyone whats going on that he will kill me...-and has 2 hidden guns and a silencer?
And it has come to a point where I have no job or no one beside,social life or anything?!
BTW
-for now,only my therapist and ex girlfriend knows...
Prigat9876 ❤️
DANIYAH BANYAMYAN BAARA no never
Pretty accurate. My narc ex girlfriend "chose" me as her target 10 years ago... I won't give details; it is enough to say that she destroyed me in every aspect. I spent almost a decade trying to figure out: why me? She could have chosen someone richer than me. Only recently I came to the conclusion that she chose me because I was excessively naive, kind, and I had zero self esteem. This is the profile they seek. These people are like vultures. They are like an opportunistic disease. She knew that she could control me. When I finally woke up, and tried to break free, she did everything to destroy me. She even filed a false report against me. She hurt herself and told the police I did it. I almost went to jail. The worst part of this is that we have a child (despite the fact she told me she was infertile), and you people can't even fathom what I went trough ... My daughter is also a victim. She is basically a hostage...
I came out of this relationship as a very damaged person... I have PTSD symptoms from it... I can not enjoy things anymore... the sun, the wind, the simple things of life... I also don't have dreams anymore. Narcissists kill you from the inside. Trust me, it is better to die than to meet one of these people. It is like dying, but they don't bury you. A fate worse than death.
I am going through the same thing with my ex. She continues to do everything in her power to ruin me in every way. Everything she does to me she tells people I am doing it to her.
After 40 yrs. I found out & it gets worse every day. Holidays with a narc what a joke. No more, I moved out of the bedroom, I don't have an intimate relationship but because of the financial situation he put me thru, he took my savings, inheritance & wants my pension so he can turn it over to his other family. I am waiting for him to either leave, die or get sent to jail for being a thief. And I can be VERY patient now that I know how to protect my money, property but most of all self cause he tries to get people to kill me. My death would just be reported as a heart attack or being in the wrong place at the wrong time with all of the insecurity & killings going on here in Mexico. And he talks bad about me how mean I am, how I don't take care of him, how I make him suffer. In the meantime he wears raggy clothes, drives a piece of shit car, tell people I won't watch our money & we can't pay for regular upkeep on the house. All of the business money goes to his other family. Since he makes me live off SSI, gives me a couple of hundred dollars every 3-4 months. And people believe all of his lies until they meet me & talk to me....Wow they thought I was ok with his string of women that go to his work to take money. Cause he never tells anyone he is married. yeah right he is living with his housekeeper/accountant but he is married to someone else with kids....Oh yeah he went crazy when he asked me to buy an off brand bottle of rum to save money...and I said no at this point in my life if I can't spend a couple of dollars more for the booze I like even though I am not a big drinker. well I bought the high dollar booze....he goes crazy when I make a drink....I really am a nice person but I love it when I say NO.
Same thing happened to my brother. I do hope you will find joy and happiness in your life. Don't give up. Don't allow the narcissist destroy you. Stay strong!
God bless all of you that commented on this thread even though one was 5 years ago. I pray all 3 of you are doing better today and that God has helped you all deal or get out of the abusive situations. Thank you for watching and commenting. Hugs to you all.
I had a very nice healthy selfteem and they destroyed me anyway. My mistake was to trust my mother, brother and sister and try to keep contact in the distance with them. Broke me in every sense.
It took me almost 50 years to figure out why my mother treated me like she did. Great to her friends, but the verbal abuse for me throughout my life, almost destroyed me.
We understand we are in our 50's and discovered recently within that past few years. A lot of us realize it later in life. Yes these monster try to destroy us.
I was in my 50's too David. It still boggles my mind that she says she loves me. But takes no responsibility for what she does.
Same here, I went through the 'not getting it' for 49 years. It is like being brain- washed! It almost destroyed me too!!!I am in the process of trying to become independent. I have to live with my abusive parents, especially my mother, till I can earn enough to be financially independent. It is so hard, because I see the abusive behaviors, but can't do much about it, yet. I think, I believe I have the talent and drive to be successful/self-supporting, but somehow I don't really believe I can do it because of 49 years of abuse and being told I can't do it and never will. I am getting 4.0s in school and on the Dean's List and I am going to join Phi Theta Kappa because I got a 3.6 (cumulative) GPA right now. But it feels so empty, like it doesn't count. Probably because of my abusers and the stories they told me and others about me.Every dream I had, every career I wanted to do was ridiculed, mocked and I was told by the people (parents) I thought loved me and would never lie to me or hurt me that it was stupid or I couldn't do it, etc. My parents did the same thing to my daughter when she lived with them for 3 years. It has still affected her to this day, even after her getting away from them for 3 years, now. I have been a stay-at-home mom all my life with no means to support myself. It took that long to understand what was actually going on. I wish you and everyone peace and happiness, comfort and hope everyone gets the healing they deserve and need.
I was 49 (in March 2012) when God woke me up to all the abuse... and gave me a new heart (I saw it!) when mine stopped beating. Jesus is amazing.
same here.. but not 50 years
I stood up to a narcissist, here is what happened: first a fit of rage like that of a five year old. Then attempts of manipulation by portraying himself as a victim. Then physical intimidation. Then threats to hurt himself. And lastly abandonment with attacks to my character. And it all started because I refused to do something his way, but stood my ground as a sovereign individual with my own ideas and opinions.
Isn't it just insane how predictable their behavior is though? I still can't even wrap my mind around it. The exact same thing happened to me when I tried breaking up with my ex, both times. Fit of rage, physical intimidation, painting himself as the victim, threats of suicide, begging me to kill him, etc. It's fucking disgusting how they're carbon copies of each other, not surprised this type of behavior could've been interpreted as demonic possession back in the day.
I'm in awe of you! It took me a decade of my life -- to finally see that I was living with a Narcissist! I may as well have spent those 10 years doing hard time in a maximum security prison somewhere! Because that's what I compare it to today! It was the most horrible time of my entire life!
I lived everyday for 10 years -- like someone who was 'sane' who had been thrown into one of those 1950's government run institutions for the insane!
Imagine doing this game your entire life...it was like torture for me as a child. I feel so sorry for the little girl I was
Satan’s seeds they are already cursed and we are already blessed.
Some Random Fellow I stood upto 3 narcissists at the same time (my father, mother and brother). Here's what happened:-
1) Rage and yelling
2) Portrayed themselves as victim
3) Character assassination
4) Physical intimation
5) Snatched away my phone so that I can't call somebody for help
6) My brother started strangling me.
7) My father tied my legs as I fell on the floor, with my brother on my back strangling me, and started punching me.
I barely escaped death. Immediately after attack. My brother threatened me it will happen again. My father told me I called him ugly (I have had enough of him calling me ugly and nasty names so I called him same things).
I was attacked so brutally that bruises were all over my face and rest of the body. Veins inside ky eyes broke and it was bleeding inside my eyes. All there started to gaslight me and said I attacked them and tried to murder them. I'm a 97 lbs girl. I couldn't possibly attack three grown individuals. They are devils tbh.
i was with my narc for 36 years....i threw him out 15 months ago....the only reason he never left physically was because i refused to sell my inherited home.....he hated me so much because he could never kill my confidence....couldn't kill my self esteem...couldn't kill me period....he thinks i have give up fighting for what's mine legally,cuz i've gone complete no contact....stupid arrogant fuck....was strong then...and thanks to that thing and what he has done to me....he has created a powerful,educated, prepared and totally fearless little warrior.....stay strong people....pass on your strength and knowledge to those that are in need...spread kindness and light to combat the toxic dark and negative energy
Lydia Morai well done!!! Bravo!
You are amazing! Love it 😍
Iam lucky to discover my narc after 6years of marriage with one child.2year old girl. I will be strong for my little girl and leave this fucker asap!! What is even worse for me is that both his parents are manipulative and toxic.i hope to win my court case so I can have full custody of my little 👼
As a narc I see that as a challenge to destroy you and control you, but the side of me that wants the good to prevail agrees with you
Awesome!👏🏽👍🏾❤
This is the TRUE reason you are tormented and almost destroyed. NOT because you are dependent and weak like many of these 'experts' claim. it is because you are stronger than they are. Always remember that when you are tempted to feel it is YOUR fault somehow. Never take responsibility for what THEY have done. Thank you smakintosh for making me realise why I was targeted not once but twice. Now I can be free again.
Exactly... its your strength, shine, and self esteem that they want. They see you, target you, then steal your qualities all the while taking down your self esteem by the devaluation/discard phases. Leaving you an empty shell and destroyed. They cannot stand it when you get away, replenish, become stronger, more happy, more shining. It enrages them.
@@cc_chi123 wow they way you put I understand now
I recently have finally accepted the word "codependent" is just VICTIM BLAMING so thats shrinks can pay off their mortgage on their beach house. LIKE LITERALLY YESTERDAY. Yet you're succinct comment is just what I need to not ever entertain that notion again
💜
@@AZDC99 Some people are co-dependent due to being trauma bonded or because of circumstances eg sick relative/spouse dependent on the narc financially.
Narcissists in the long run destroy themselves.
Traci Robarchek thank goodness!
How long will it take?? My daughter will be 39 this Year. She is a Narcissist!! She said she hopes I die and soon. And my grandchildren are being brainwashed by her!!! That's I really enjoyed this!! Loved the word from the BIBLE ❤️!!!
Lets hope so, that way they will leave everyone else alone.
I dont know about that. No conscience, no karma ...unfortunately
I hope so.
I was fortunate to be abandoned by a narcissist many years ago. Several years after that he tried to contact me again. I guess he thought he had that much power over me. I didn't want to even set eyes on him again. Wasn't giving him a chance to try to destroy me again.
Patty Cake i have a friend whose a narcissist hos do i cut it out. Help me
I know what you mean. My narc abandoned me in 2010, and on Christmas Eve 2017, he called me from a relative's phone number when I visited Chicago, and had the AUDACITY to ask if he could see me and I flat out told him no!! Like, what were we supposed to talk about or do??? Did he really think we would just pick up and resume on a good note?? He really thought he had that much power over me!
Patty Cake Good for you!
Good , trust and believe they NEVER change. So keep blocking NARCS out of your life!
On the side note, this is how I deal with aggressive panhandlers. That no eye contact thing is everything! "
After these people are done with you, they'll throw you away like garage.
This is so very true! I, unfortunately married one and separated from them right now, and in the process of a divorce. Everything was always my fault, according to my spouse. I gotten lied to, cheated on, stolen from etc. but again, I was the blame for all of that too! The best thing my spouse did was walk out of my son & my life for the last time, but this time I did Not take them back! We are in counseling and on our road to recovery!
Ruth Yoerg so true, fuck em!!
Narcissism is beyond a personality disorder
J͟e͟s͟i͟q͟u͟a͟a͟ A͟m͟i͟r͟a͟a͟ S̥ͦt̥ͦo̥ͦj̥ͦḁͦn̥ͦo̥ͦv̥ͦi̥ͦc̥ͦ They are freaking crazy!
True. Narcs, together with Psychos are the devil's creation. They are evil beyond comprehension. They are never to be pitied. I was the victim of one. I was abused for years. I am free now, but it's taking a long time to recover. The day will come when they are found out, and are literally disabled for their crimes against humanity. I regard such evil beings as nothing more than Pig vomit.
yasmin sawar they dont need to be punished they are already miserable with their life.
They need to be exposed & punished - squashed like the parasites they are.
crystal Berry this is a Jezebel spirit
Abandonment is so very underrated. I read over and over about the poor people who have had a narc abandon them. Thank your lucky starts you got out alive!
Somebody Somewhere You are so right. i know a narc who owns a gun.
Very true. It's an important step to realize this. It could have been much worse.
..2 months ago the narc discarded me..I called him out on something..He ghosted me after..he wrote a message to me.. *You humiliated me*
*it is you're fault* Ofcourse he was the one who humiliated *me* ..in front of my family..Narcs always projecting and telling on themselves.. haven't heard of him since.. I stay no contact🎉
It's probably has more to do with how they were discarded. The discard is part of the abuse. But after the discard they usual come back trying to suck you back in until the next discard. If you're lucky enough to be fully discarded with no attempts of return the emotional abuse from the act of the discard leaves the victim stunned. if you don't even know about narcassim you just feel like you're the problem. It's such a complicated situation that without the foresight about narcassim you can't appreciate being discarded because it's painful. Only in hindsight.
@@eyeoffthetiger2691 I was discarded after calling the a Narc out too. Now, I am blamed for everything he can think of.
If you threaten a narcissist's agenda...they will hurt you.
That's why I have a lawyer.
Penny finally dropped that my dad was a narcissistic sociopath , pulled the plug on our relationship and his first action was to destroy my reputation amongst my family and friends . 10 years later still can't talk to 95 % of my family and moved 2 hours away for a peaceful new life . My mother was also a narcissist but not near so destructive.
It's so hard to keep your cool when dealing with these evil Narcissist. They have a way of getting you so fired up & pissed off. Before you know it your the one screaming & yelling like a lunatic while they are smiling 😡😡😡 - grrrr
The narcissistic despises the one SHE can’t control too. Never doubt that there can be a female narc too. Literally the only way to win is to leave.
So true. I was surprised how much this message helped me understand my mother's actions toward me. When she tried to make me appear insane to the rest of the family she was dealing her darkest and most powerful blow at the end of a lifetime of trying to keep me down. Never underestimate the wrath of a female narc! Thank you for your comment.
And go very very far and safe
They TRY to destroy, but, you can LEAVE. CUT THEM OUT OF OUR LIFE.
Sometimes in exceptional circumstances that they have created for you, you can't leave. And I tried believe me. it took me 18 months and I am still paying the price on a strange continent. I was stuck. Couldn't go forward , couldnt; go back. long story. And over 3 yrs later I still am not clear where I may end up or whether I be allowed to stay here.
I had a relation with a narcist 1y i break up with her she constantly try to contact my family, and make me a bad person i am now fighting almost a month help me
Easier said than done. Maybe you are lucky not meeting a violent one.
i learned too late A 35 year marriage I was destroyed and abandoned ..But GOD !! Restoration !!!
A 28 year marriage ended in him plotting and scheming behind my back with another woman...it hurt but now I celebrate being FREE !!
+cathy judge exactly Betrayal hurt bad My daughter was part of the plot Messed my head bad Now I smile He can't even look at me Guilt My daughter and I have mended things God is good They will answer Bless you
At least you got away! My mother lived this nitemare for 45 years and died this past December without ANY RELIEF! He went on without missing a beat - because EVIL NEVER DIES! Consider yourself lucky...I wish my mom had even just ONE DAY without him :( ~Peace
+vsav331 If your mom believed in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, she is experiencing total and eternal love, peace and joy.
And if, by chance, she didn't, is she burning in a lake of fire for eternity?
"Narcissist' hate free spirit."
So true lol. My sister was like this.
I worked for a narcissist.. first he tried to destroy me, then he fired me... but I learned so much about me, I feel strong... it's sad for him.. I am free he is not..
I used to get so many dirty looks throughout childhood & teens despite appearing normal and not doing anything strange enough, could always sense that "trait" that I subconsciously registered as a stain in those perpetrators but never consciously addressed it ... now I know why
100% true. Every target/victim of narcissistic abuse should listen to this every day to regain perspective on what happened and gain control once again of themselves. Inspired and truthful.
There's 2 things I do after waking up in the morning. 1st thank God for showing me what was going on. 2nd remind myself whatever comes out their mouth is lies
I’ve encountered many narcissists in my life, mostly the grandiose sense of self worth is a defence mechanism because they have low sense of worth and need to prove how “ superior “ they are.
They don't stand being around people who carry themselves as being equal to them
"All of the feigned and fake acts of kindness heaped on you by the narcissists, they'll be thrown back in your face as examples of your selfishness and your pettiness. As well as the narc's mercy and tender heartedness." This perfectly describes the situation I am. I feel like I am left with no other option but trying my best to avoid and ignore them without any explanation. I do not want to give them the fight that they want. There is no sense in trying to talk to them because there is absolutely no reasoning with these people. It is impossible to have an honest conversation with them.
momoffour2004 Oh don't I know. It is literally, virtually, positively IMPOSSIBLE to reason with a malignant narcissist, especially if they have assigned you the role of scapegoat (a nice term that could also refer to the family idol "sacrifice"). I used to read verses in Proverbs that counselled never attempt to reason, much less argue, with an evil man. I just sort of glazed over those scriptures with a "ho-hum" attitude. Not any more. I am sorry you are dealing with the mind and gut twisting self-pity tactics that seem to attack us at the very core of our consciences. Unless one has experienced this first hand, they have no idea how psychologically torturous it can be. Thank you momoffour for watching and thank you for your comments.
momoffour2004 I know this is an old comment, but this is LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT I AM CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH, and boy howdy, is it ever a weight off my shoulders to know I'm not crazy.
***** I'm sorry to hear that, but at the same time it is good that you are seeing what is going on. Judging from your picture, you look like you are pretty young still and the fact that you can put a name to what you are going through right now will be a huge advantage to you. No, you are not crazy and definitely not alone!
insisted on paying for everything to later call me a gold digger 😪😅
That was like a page right from my journal.
The most difficult thing for me to do was to accept the narcissists in my life as they are and walk away. What triggered it was them telling me I was narcissistic. I looked it up and saw a few traits that I thought applied to me and sought the help of a counselor.
My counselor and I laughed about it after a few sessions. They won't get me back.
I lost money, the love of children and nearly my career over the narcissist. She simply does not know that anyone exists other than herself. I regret the day I ever met her.
*****
Thank you. It is a distant memory now so the sting of the losses are not really there. I am still open to the children, but I am not too hopeful that they will change their minds.
Thanks again, Skeptnick.
Im with you Joe. I only stumbled across NPD by accident just after walking away from them. I swear i was in shock for 2 days
play with them....Once you know who they are they lose their power because you are more intelligent then them.
Joe Tullius
Mine accused people around them to be to deflect off them. I had no idea what it was when they said it. Because CPTSD my narc mom caused me made me find out about it later because of the dissociation.
I have been no contact from my female Narc since March 2021, 1 year After COVID. I lived with my female NARC through COVID and lived to tell about it. COVID didn't get me, but my NARC was killing me slowly. Each month of no contact, I count as a victory.
They will NEVER unless forced with no out, admit to their wrongs to you. Or anyone else that hurt in the process. It would undo their whole life. Only God could change their heart.
Yes. I was married to a narcissist. I look back now after learning the signs, and I am realizing what went wrong. He couldn’t control me which made him more in rage. But seeing he had ways of manipulation and the means to bait me into arguments and then set me up, I didn’t know how to act. I was always afraid of him, but not now. He was always in the background of my life even though we were divorced lurking and talking crap and slander against me. He thinks he is all powerful because of his so called position of authority along with his other mi ions of phycopathic minds. The crimes they are doing to me are backed by the authorities of my town. Gangstalking and cyber bullying harassment hatred. I am in good hands though. My testimony is a good one. Has lasted for 6 years. They have destroyed it. But they have no clue what they have done to help me. God will use my enemies to promote me to the next level. Read about Joseph. Many people in the Bible to look to when circumstances can’t be understood. Joseph,Job,King David,John,Paul, and the main man Jesus. Thank the Lord I started studying the Bible in 2010 and researching before I entered this horror. My help comes from the Lord Jesus Christ. They just don’t believe it. That’s where they are defeated. Hey look up our redemption is drawing nigh.
@Kathy zrinyi That's what you realise when you've dealt in some way with a narcissist is that they 'set you up' so many times! The Narcissistic set up. Particularly the covert narcissist types. Master manipulators.
Yes, they don't realise that our VICTORY lies in finding and/or establishing a stronger understanding and relationship with GOD!
'Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).🙏🏾✝️
And always remember that 'we are not fighting flesh and blood' ie the person in front of you but the demonic spirit that is within and controlling that person ie they are under demonic possession. Ephesians 6.
You just described my parents and most of my siblings. Thank God for my husband and children. There’s hope in Christ, I was rescued from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by narcissists like this. There are out of my life and my kids will never be around them.
"They'll kick you, then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair"
"So beat it"
"Just beat it"
Awesome guitar solo...
Randi Sierra LMAO. leg swirl!
Green Onions Exactly.
Green Onions agreed , love that solo
Green Onions MJ's father was a narcissist and sociopath. MJ would know better than most.
+th3azscorpio...I don't know if he was a sociopath, but he definitely had the traits of a narcissist for sure.
Dead on; they hate anyone who is autonomous; can think and feel, or who has a purpose. A narc exists; does not feel, but has learned to feel as a theatre. A film can elicit emotion; crying; so can a narc, but in the end it is a film, and you are living life all alone. Good luck with that.
Denise Horn so true! Thank you for your comments.
Alone is not lonely.
Denise Horn If you’re lucky. Many ppl have chose suicide after too many years of marriage. Or, the Narcopath gets away with murderer
Well said
I have a older sister like this who had totally destroyed my life. All my life she slandered me to my other siblings while exalting herself. She controls them all. Even when my beloved brother says things they are through her influence. She hated me her whole life and feigned love. She did this with anyone she could not control. She acted like she was 'helping' me and crowed to all what a wonderful martyr she was. When I was 19, I had a nervous breakdown because she wouldn't let up on fault finding. I hurt dreadfully to this day because of her "kindness".
I have the same sister
+Katherine Sage Sorry to hear that I have a family member also!
+Katherine Sage My mother is like this at even age 84
+Hannelore Tepper Angels Cat Sanctuary inc, I sooooo understand. It is painful and affects our sense of belonging and self worth. They can't love properly or think they do. It is very very difficult. Hug to you and carry that with you....
Thank you kindly. God has granted me freedom.
Yeah, I know. What's worse if that person is stalking you, he will destroy your character and reputation and will make it look like it's your fault.
Whats the likelihood of them killing you physically.
I had one when I was 22. He convinced everyone around me that I was " hopeless and pathetic ". I hated him.
I always knew there was something in him that hated and wanted to annihilate me! it was like the enemy was speaking the most hateful things to me right out of my husband's mouth. nothing was off limits. it was a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions that ultimately turned into a fight for my life. there were times when I believed he wanted to take me out, literally. his self hatred transferred to me whenever I confronted him. the motorcycle ride down a dark highway with him going almost 100 mph and me behind him holding on....after he had continued drinking with his friend who lived 20 miles from our home... let me know he had no value of my life or love for my children. his dark wanted to destroy my light. I finally found the courage to leave but that has been met with accusations that I had a secret plan for a year to do so. also his knocks on where I now live. never a nice word. it's a dark, crazy ride that one takes when climbing in board with a narc. how well I know.
This was beautiful. Very accurate. They are so destructive and this is such a plague in our society.
+iamfree a sign of the times
@iamfree It is totally a plague.
I went no contact with my mother, father and sister. My mother is the narc, but she has got her hooks in so deep with my dad and sister, there is no reasoning with them. My mother has worked her magic to turn them against me anyways. Life is better without her. I now have a clear picture why she hurts on purpose. I have always thought to that she hoped I would kill myself so she could claim I am lost and she didn't know why I was so lost...for her drama as a sweetheart. The most damaging thing to do to her is nothing, and live with joy and purpose...that's when she can't stand me.
+77Tadams I'm the youngest of 3, and my father is a narcissist and sociopath. I haven't spoken to him in 20 years and don't miss him. He, like your mother has done, turned my older sisters and anyone else he could against me. He's done the same with my mother. He started realizing he couldn't control me when I was about 13, and he hated me for it. I think people who know who and what they really are make them feel threatened. What completely throws me is you'd think your other family members know you and would be able to recognize their crap for what it is. Does that confuse you, too? Anyway, it is not possible to have any kind of meaningful relationship with narcissists. They are so unhealthy to be around.
+infancysguard It isn't surprising to me that my sister and dad are not speaking with me because my mother is fully controlling them. They are afraid of her and don't want to cross her because she might do to them what she did to me...completely banish me from the family. People like this are very unhappy if you don't do what they want you to do and you are suppose to follow the script that they hand to you with no questions. Although she is running the family and telling lies all the time, she has a big roar that is all talk...all you have to do is live a happy life and these people are tyrants of control...they cannot stand that you can live without them and do fine...they view you as an extension of themselves and nothing more...once you get your own mind they will do anything they can to tear you down and break you into submission. They do this by gas lighting, telling lies about you, making you look like you are the crazy one...but it is a lie they want you to believe so you fall in line like the rest of the family does. Took me a long time to see that. IT is crazy...you can take yourself out of that loop though.
+77Tadams True, the only option is to remove yourself from their presence. If you're not one of their disciples, then you're an enemy. One thing that sticks in my mind and just about sums things up, is something my mother told me. My father was in the army and had spent a certain amount of time away. When he came back my eldest sister, a toddler, wouldn't have anything to do with him. While she was learning to walk she would always come to my mother. One time she went to him and he immediately said, "You've lost her, Jeannie." Sick, isn't it? What I don't understand is how they escape being the ones who are ostracized from the family. Yes, they lie about you. But what is it that makes one person aware of it, and others not? Are we just more perceptive? Is it that simple fact that we do value individualism more? Anyway, God bless you and everyone else who has suffered this kind of treatment. And God bless these bullies; they probably need it even more than we do.
+infancysguard My mother became violent when I was an adolescent. She could tell by the way I looked at her that I knew she was crazy. I did become uncontrollable and rebelled big time against rules that were designed for 5 year olds. And she and my stepfather never stopped nagging and criticizing me. It was constant. My stepfather also had insulting nick names for all of us which were embarrassing in front of other people.
+Anne Boleyn I can relate, as no doubt others here can also. When my father started realizing I had a mind of my own and did not see him as this perfect, flawless human being, he started hitting me for things that showed even the slightest sign that I thought he was wrong about something. He would always go off on someone who took issue with him on something, even when I was real small. I didn't understand it then. He's crazy, like your mother. My father grew up on a Kibbutz (my mother isn't Jewish and I was raised Presbyterian). When he was still just a boy the other adult members of the Kibbutz basically told my grandparents that if they didn't take him to a psychiatrist then they'd have to leave the Kibbutz. They chose to leave. I'm sure he was causing all sorts of trouble there, because he brings turmoil, problems, and conflict wherever he goes. As my mother put well, he always stirs up the environment.
I had a stepfather who was abusive too. Liked to humiliate and degrade, as well as being physically abusive. So you started realizing what your mother was when you were about my age too?
Absolutely horrifying when you learn that kindness from them is like getting poisoned by peanuts in candy
A Narcissist will turn the purity of a Loving Family Tree 🌲 into a heartless Full fledge Forest Fire 🔥 .. Relentless Destruction Is beyond a Disorder!
Real Rage I resonate with what you said.
My girlfriend kept telling me "I just think God wants me to serve you, and love you, and support you." Meanwhile her family and my own worked swiftly to try to destroy my career opportunities and get me destroyed. They stole money, gas lighted me, destroyed my property, slandered me, and then called me the narcissist. My entire belief system is Christian first and libertarian second. You have the right to choose and do whatever you want: if you do wise things I'll want a relationship. If you do unwise things, I don't want you affecting my life. They call me un healthy for living that way. Thank God they only understand Christianity from a worldly perspective! They can't perceive goodness, for the darkness comprehended not the light... Jesus Christ is a blessed being indeed 😊
a narcicisst can only destroy who allows them. They are not that powerful.
kevphillips02 I needed this. thank you
Even when kids are involved? Please tell me more.
If you explain further then maybe i can respond.
I think if you are enmeshed with a narcissist and there are children then i would say it must be extremely difficult .
To make a long story short my wife has conned me into giving up everything and move 900 miles away from my family She has all the money even money I was going to use for my business turned off my phone and now I'm jobless for the first time in my life and she is playing on it like I'm a lazy looser to her rich parents that we live by now. I have a 9 month old and a 5 year old with her that I dearly love. like I said this is the short version I've been keeping a journal for about a month now it's longer than a book. I'm 45 years old. I now have nothing.
kevphillips02. Excellent point to remember.
Omg...this is so true. The narcissist in my life has tried to control me all my life. From the way I wash dishes, to my finances, my clothing and even the way I think. She can't stand to see me happy. And nothing infuriates her more than the fact that I'm unyielding to her bossiness. Everything I do is under constant criticism and even even I'm very successful at something, I am still given negativity. It does not matter even when I'm better at a particular thing than she is, it still isn't good enough. I'm stupid, irresponsible, hateful, weird, something always. One of the ONLY times she's ever nice to me is if I'm doing something for her. If it isn't FOR her specifically, the best I get is indifference. When I was younger I believed much of what was said about me. She seemed to take a sick sort of pleasure in that. Now I'm grown and although extremely hurtful, I don't believe it and brush it off mostly. That infuriates her and makes her meaner, like she doesn't stop until she breaks me down. I hate it!
leave you will never be happy nor will she ever love you ,she will make you doubt yourself and drive you nuts!
WOW- I relate to everything you Just said. But, I don't get why they are like that. I have pointed out their behavior to them, since I am living with them, for now. They said to give them examples of what I am talking about. Like they treat me like I am not even a real person, always attacking me with no provocation and then saying I cause all the problems. Were they abused as children? I don't understand why they enjoy hurting me and don't want me to have ANYTHING. I was always told everything was my fault. I had 'emotional problems" . I was too sensitive. too emotional. It really HURTS! If you can't trust your own parents... your family, your own husband even; who can you trust??? I HATE IT TOO!!! I just want it to stop, but don't think it ever will. I don't want them to go to HELL, but they seem to have no love or light in them and enjoy and live to destroy other people, mostly me , I guess. I believe I am the Scapegoat. I wish you every good thing and will pray for you. Please pray for me too. Anyone out there reading this, please pray for me and all the others.
+Cheryl Shollack love it! I love the voice and. Yes Its good!
You WILL go insane if you tolerate that behavior any longer! I briefly did with mine, but not being a slave to mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse is amazing! The day I left a weight was lifted. I still struggle daily, but talking to my true friends and family keep me on level ground reminding me of who I really am. A compassionate, understanding person... Don't believe the BS or the guilt, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING WORTHY OF RESPECT! Get out, get out, GET OUT! These relationships can escalate to unfathomably crazy levels in a hurry if they arent aren't already there!
Cheryl Shollack- - You are NOT the scapegoat first off, please know that. You are the only rational one in that household from what it sounds like. They label you a scapegoat bc they have no rational grounding within them. You are right in saying they have no love or light in them. These people are evil and destroyers of good hearts such as yours. I thought tirelessly about why my narc was the way she is. Assuming what she told me about her childhood was true, it made perfect sense why she behaved the way she did. But that only made me have compassion for her and try to stick it out, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! Bottom line is they don't treat you with the dignity you deserve. Period. They CAN go to hell. Because you have a heart you wanna see that light in them and give them compassion, believe me I understand that. They HATE your compassion, it sounds crazy because it is! You are dealing with unhealthy, imbalanced individuals. That empathy you have is a wonderful TRUE GIFT, embrace it, but don't squander it on people that don't possess it themselves. Enough is enough and you deserve so much better. Not trying to scare you, but like this video says, if you call out this behavior like you say you have, RUN! Because they are thinking in their selfish little minds how dare you question their hurtful, delusional, outright insane behavior. If it's all about them ALL the time, How can they be wrong? That's why they are always the victim and make you out to be the big bad wolf 24/7 for simply demanding kind treatment. They will only continue to hurt you more and more until there is nothing left. Please get out today!!
My mother was the narc in my life. All you have said is the total truth. You can't get to square one with this personality. Cold, calculating, and verbally brutal. I am now a survivor. My mother is now on her death bed expected to die within days I would suspect. We will only be having a graveside service which is such a sad thing. She has no friends, and the family has nothing to say at a full service. We do not respect her, and many may feel similarly as I do about her. It is a sad fact. She has Alzheimer's. As dementia set in in about 2007 she couldn't hide her demons anymore. Everyone found out the truth about her victimizing me, and my dad. Dad passed in 2006. Strange that I became her caregiver for about 5 years. I am possibly in the best place I have ever been now. I forgave her a long time ago, so I could move on. I believe I am now supposed to get involved with helping others in a greater way than what I have been one by one on my own. God placed this on my heart as a way to serve God, and others. I have been praying all this time, and God gave me a big message in August to join a large local church I'm sure to lead me to a place I can be of service in this way to many. Can you give me pointers for some closure. I do feel a void, and am not sure how to feel about her departure from life. I realized when I cut all contact three years ago that I actually had zero love for her. That was an eye opener, but she became so belligerent with me that I could no longer tolerate her abuse. She grew to despise my independence, and strength to defend, and deflect her narciccism. My brother has overseen her care in a rehab and nursing facility these past 3 years near his home some 2-1/2 hours away from where I live. He carries guilt that he did not suffer any abuse from her. I love him so dearly I hold no animosity towards him. I am blessed to have him in my life. I have paid her bills since 2007. My faith taught me to honor my mother through all of this. That has helped a great deal. I am a strong survivor who would like to help others. I currently counsel a friend of my daughters who is about to turn 40, and still in the throws of her narc mom, and sister. I would like to get involved through my church or a local abuse counseling organization. Any pointers for further education for me, or direction would be most welcome? Strange that I have grown into the person I was always meant to be only stronger. I love people, am driven to God's best for me, and others minus the negative upbringing. My name "Rebecca" in Hebrew interestingly means peacemaker.
Rebecca Bailey I hope you are well and stay blessed. Thank you for sharing your story. Shalom.
Rebecca Bailey You're an inspiration to all who are in similar situations - trying to come to grips with a relative or partner with this personality curse...! Have you ever considered setting up an account like this with You Tube and helping others by passing on your experiences and insights to others who are still trapped and confused??
Absolutely true... I was a possession and slave to the master manipulator Narc. I have been married 44 years now and he is only getting worse. I run myself ragged trying to please & fix & make life easier for him the classic victim. Then there is the verbal abuse and the lies and the denial and the criticism. It has got to a point where I am not allowed to have an opinion. I have been telling him for years he needs to modify his behaviour as I am not coping as I am getting older. . Why would he? It has worked so well for him for years!! A year ago I had an emotional meltdown after another ther one of his drama filled faux suicide threats. After I got home all he could say was that he was sooooo embarrassed and humiliated that I stayed away for 10 days to recover. This was the last straw for me. I am now seeing a therapist, have read everything I can on the subject and have emotionally & psychologically disassociated. I have moved into the spare room. I am not in the position to leave YET. I would love to have the final discard happen!!! Good luck to anyone else in this position. It is soul destroying but I have learned to put myself, my health and sanity top of the list for the first time in my life.
Summer Wine Hope you are ok, my ex was a narc, and I understand everything you’ve been going through. I really hope you’ve found the strength to leave.
Good luck & God bless.
It is very difficult to spot a narc as they are cunning and manipulative it took me over 30 years to recognise my best friend as a psychopath and a marc
Get as much knowlage about narc traits as possible and observe very closely each new person in your life and if you spot a narc simply cut all contact
Superb
I am a narcissist (I score a 29 on tests, average is 12-15 and above 20 is narcissist) but it doesn't always work this way. I can feel emphaty if I want to and won't hurt anyone unless necisarry. And my 3 best friends are the people I can't control. It is annoying, yes, but it keeps things interesting and I like them and don't want to hurt them. Thing is though, I don't think all narcissists are as friendly as I am so here some things I think people would need to do to get away from me: 1. Don't give compliments anymore 2. Never be the one that starts the conversation 3. Don't cause much drama, we love drama 4. Almost never agree with them and keep your own opinion, but don't start an argument that can be amusing. 5. Be plain boring and annoying. Good luck.
Stella Smith Great advise thank you!
Stella Smith I am almost always shocked when a narcissist replies with helpful tips. The narc I live with thinks she is perfect. She would NEVER admit to being one and even got oddly suspicious when her daughter asked her what a narcissist was (since her mother had called someone else one).
Thinking of all the interactions between them, I can see how your tips make complete sense.
This woman used to try and control me but I say next to nothing to her now. She keeps her comments and questions to me neutral and I keep my answers the same but it's painfully obvious she has absolutely no use for me, not that I am complaining. Thank you for the help. I am going to pass it on to her daughter.
+Stella Smith "won't hurt anyone unless necessary." Says everything there. "You're so vain you probably think this song is about you."
+Stella Smith *HAHAHA...These are the ways I conduct myself toward my N abuser and when she has gone too long without attention she STILL STARTS A FIGHT AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS I GET UP AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM. She has now decided it's time to THROW ME OUT OF *HER HOUSE*. as she has put it.*
Sid Young Take this as an opportunity to be free. You don't need to continue in that relationship. If you didn't have this push to leave her, she's now given you the chance. Go now, and don't look back. She'll change her mind when you've taken her up on this offer, because no drama on a daily basis will bore her. But don't fall into the trap again. Just keep on walking away. Ignore the territorial words she used regarding the house, get out, get a lawyer, divide stuff up and get away from her. Best wishes.
Yes, when I left my ex psychopathic husband, he tried to control that as well, by trying to force me back with threats. When he realized that nothing he said or done was working. That my family was supporting my decision to no longer have him in my life in anyway. That all the threats, lies and demands he made were useless, is when the real hard smear campaign was used against me. Thing was, his supporters were few and far apart(his mom and sister) His effort to even try to get me thrown out of my sisters home, by saying i was this and that....done him no good! These monsters can't have a healthy relationship of any kind, nor a healthy relationship break-up either! Yet, they will always lay the blame of everything, at the feet of everyone else! It's always your fault! Glad to be free from such an evil shell of a person! thanks for making the video, God bless.
Good for you Alice for getting away and living :)
been there done that whole family and crew husband wife baby baby momma baby daddy like elevators up down up down
Sounds familiar. To hear my ex tell it, no woman (even his mother) ever did him right, and he never did wrong. It was his mother's fault, his sister's fault, his ex wives, his ex-girlfriend's fault. Funny, he's the common denominator.
Christine Thats exactly right,its everyone else fault in every failed relationship they have, they have been told most of their lives how goodlooking/wonderfull/special they are that they believe their own press,so when a partner sees the real 'them" they cant understand it...they are not usualy too bright.
I'm happy to be abandoned by my narcissistic brother
The family system as a whole can be the thing that takes you down this way. Each member is a cog in the machine. I've lost everything and I felt required to give up what I cared about.
Beware of SELFISH people !!!!!! They are USERS!!!! Incredible great video !!! Filled with much education. It was the Narcs that gave this video thumbs down.
This was just what I needed to hear today. My narc's cruelty is beyond belief.
My father and brother are Narcs. Since I favor towards doing what makes me happy rather than appeasing to them, they cut me off since they have no further use for me. I guess I am one of the fortunate ones.
This is so true. Once I married my current husband my narc sister felt her loss of control over me. She tried to humiliate my husband, putting him down, his kids down, and yet to his face giving gifts and acting kind. She then set out to destroy my marriage, family relationships, and self-esteem. I finally caught on and confronted her on an issue, she has not talked to me since. Abandonment that saved me. At this point I am not sure who she has left of the family aside from his husband and children. This I can not even confirm as I have no contact. She has total control over her grown children as well, so I don't dare try and talk to them although I miss them dearly.
3) If you do not give a narc what they want, they will try to: Make you feel guilty - Will put you down. - Will get angry - Will try to garner evidence that your thinking is wrong - Will try different angles to get you to change their mind. - Will use their friendship as a weapon to get you to change.
I feel like my entire life has been a battle of me against them. Every ( almost every ) man has tried to break me in some way shape or form and they always try to bring me down because I have a healthy self esteem. I always attract these demons.
10 years on from my ex dumping me after she had taken everything and left me homeless she is still trying to destroy me. My sisters and two older daughters no longer speak to me but no one will tell me what I have done. My son was thrown out on the street by her because he wouldn't fall for her lies. He now lives with me. She no longer lets me see my youngest daughter. This video explained a lot to me but I am totally stuck and don't know where to turn to now.....
Pig Vomit 5
Pig Vomit Love this. ❤ I'll keep repeating myself that as many times as necessary.
tigerspuds You can either accept what I'm going to say or reject it, your choice. Remember, women are heard creatures. I'm going to assume you're having a hard time financially and in your sisters and daughters eyes, you are viewed as an embarrassment, failure, etc. Due to your lack of status, you bring no ability to further theirs. Don't give up on yourself. Fight.
tigerspuds turn to Jesus He will restore your life like He did with me is the only road to repair so much damage no man have the power God will defend you from this demonic attack
tigerspuds ......When a person won’t tell you what you have done, it is because you have done nothing. They can’t tell you, because there is nothing for them to say. They are losers. They are worthless. They are trying to control you and ‘play’ you by causing you to anguish over ‘what you did’. This is a sick game of abusive narcissistic people. Don’t give it another thought. Clearly, you did nothing wrong.
I cried crocodile tears over the loss of a friendship. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I wracked my mind. I couldn’t think of anything that I may have done or said to have caused her to turn on me so suddenly and completely. And not only that, another coworker warned me that she was trying to get others together in a plot to cause me physical harm! This coworker told her that they would be no part of it, and warned her against it!
I did nothing to her. And I certainly didn’t do anything that would warrant being physically attacked by a group of people! It was like she was a whole different person overnight. I didn’t know who she was anymore. Even when I observed her from afar, she was a different person. It was like something from ‘Invasion Of The Body Snatchers’. Surreal! I didn’t know who she was anymore. I changed departments after that.
I am finding that a very large portion of the world are narcissistic psychopaths. I have a very hard time trusting anymore. I don’t want friends either. I miss them sometimes, but I don’t want to be feeling for the knife in my back.
I refuse to be controlled by my narcissistic family of whom I have already cut ties to. My fiance and I will always have our guards up, because we know that my narc family is always plotting to destroy us. Right now I suspect that they are plotting ways for my fiance to lose his disability just because he tries to do some things here and there. And of course I have a pending worker's compensation claim which I know that they're trying to intrude and try to discredit my claim and they have no idea what hell that I have been through. I know and believe that only God knows my situation and he will protect me from these evil narcs that I have broken ties with. They are so jealous and envy me because of the gifts and blessings that God has given me. I'm a constant threat to these narcs of mine that they know what I'm very capable of doing that will outshine them. My narc sisters the things that they obtained was through doing things dishonestly. These range anywhere from lying on their resumes to having people lie for them to put them into a good light to doing some things that I suspect that they are doing illegally. Unfortunately I don't have the evidence but I know that God will give me those answers when he feels is the right time for me to know.
Mary Allen It is good you went no contact with your narc family. The less they know about your business the better. If we seek God he will answer, God he will protect us and if we listen he will warn us of danger. God Bless Mary Allen Thank you for your comments.
I've never really thought of narcissism running through the family but reading your comment is kind of reassuring as I'm sure my gf family has at least 5 on her moms side. They will put her down any chance they get even when there is good news. I just hope she can find the courage to leave them as you did as I know she would be happier without them but she needs to come to this decision on her own. All the best.
ghostkillah Killa It's been years now, but my sister who was 15 years older than me had always tried to control my parents, other sister and myself. She had skirted around us for years and I just accepted that she was just the oldest child and felt the need to be bossy. Then when she was in her 40's she moved back home. (Her husband retired from the service) and we the family, realized her growing dominance and control over us. One by one, the family stood up to her demands and SHE severed ties with us.
Oh sorry I misunderstood.
ghostkillah Killa No, no misunderstanding -- I was just sharing an experience and how it happened in our family dynamic I am here on this site, because now I have realized my martial distress is a result of my narcissist husband. I am moving on as soon as my 'duck's are in order'. Beware to you and gf -- the narcissist's are out there everywhere. Study the signs to look for. I have had 3 major hurtful experiences with narcissists. Really---steer clear of them!
This is true. My ex came right out and said that he wanted use my soul as a stepping stone to gain a higher position in hell. It just goes to show how incapable of remorse he really was. He knew exactly what he was doing, and didn't feel an ounce of guilt.
Alternative Mental Health ....wow.
Krikey ... for once a narc told the truth
Little does he know there is no higher position in Hell....satan doesn't own hell he's banished to there. Remind the narc that every knee will bow! 🙌
I feel these people are the devils or devils spawns...no way can a person who believes in god act or treat others in such a demeaning. Manner..everything they are goes against gods word...even in the bible
@7charlierox kf you dont want to hear about it why are you here commenting on an 8month comment you fuckin lame
They are reprobates , God gave us all freewill , they choose to act this way
@@meeks4004 Internet trolls are narcs looking for supply 😂
This is my dad. He claims hes a christian. I believe he was at one time. But he went back to the old ways, even though he continued to attend church. He use to say, he was the great pretender. I now understand why. I have been a christian many years. My good mom died 13 yr ago. My dad hardly ever contacted me after her death. Took up with 2 women. He always cheated on my mom until the day she died. It took me many years to realize he was a narc, because I really didnt know what that was. He has hurt so many in the family. But would never admit he was the problem. Not good marriage, father, or grandfather material. Its all about him. He is now in a nursing home with dementia and cancer. He cannot even walk on his own. Hes 86. Believe it or not, Im concerned where hes going when he dies, and I did speak to him about it. A part of me wants to go visit him in nursing home, but when I do, it doesnt go well. So Im getting to the place where I dont want to really be around him. So , I pray he will be able to right his wrongs before he leaves this world. I wish he could of realized what he has messed in a relationship with both his daughters.
@7charlierox No. The devil made narcissists. He is the creator of everything evil in this world. He is the prince of this world. But one day soon, God will get rid of him forever. Then there will be no more narcissist, or any evil people. Amen!
2) Basics from my view: They seek attention, CONTROL, love, and praise. They always want to be the leader in the group.
I have a "Friend"... that I have know for decades. He always had to be the center of what was going on and always had to have the final say as to what we were going to do. Lot's of ideas of what to do and generally non stop movement and activity, but the minute you insist to do what "You" want to do, it was clear that he would abandon or end the encounter. I finally got tired after countless empty encounters that left me feeling like "A float in his parade" Now I never hear from him. It's a strange, hollow and taxing relationship.
I agree. They suck the life and light out of their targets. Also, Any happiness or joy you may feel or could have had if not for them.
That's so funny because that happened to me on a vacation too, and a field trip ... I notice the bond either gets better or worse when you stay over with friends; you find out who they really are
So funny, I had a friend like that too, we were on a holiday and explained to me it was very rude to be on a phone whilst being at a table with him. We sat there for five fucking hours... Horrible.
Spot on 100% my ex partner......a roller coaster ride of 14 years where they manipulated and controlled everything to fit their hidden agenda and when the time was right and they had squeezed everything they wanted it was time to dismantle everything with the sole purpose of destroying like it didn't exist and they were off but of course a narc never leaves one person unless they have a next victim to attach themselves to and so the cycle begins again for them of fake love.......the new victim is oblivious to what lies ahead for them but bless them for they think they have found the one and are head over heels and in love.......how very wrong they are.
This explains everything. Its like describing my husband exactly; I never had the words to describe him before. Cuz in front of others he has totally charming personality & cuz of all the emotional abuse I have suffered over the years I really get frustrated & agitated & come off as crazy emotional to his family & friends. He isolated me from my loved ones by telling me lies about them or manipulating the facts so I'd distance myself from them. I have lived in isolation for years n years now. But I stood up for myself after my daughter was born & he left us within 3 days of me standing up for myself (3 very painful long days of fight & abuse) & my daughter she was only 15 days old when this happened. Then he came back after 3 months on our elders say so but we now live separate lives though living under the same roof, but don't share a room or anything else. I saw his worst side after my daughter was born & it shocked me to my core that I lived with this rotten man all along not knowing this side of him? And he says I made him this way, he is a good person its me who is evil & shit. And its me who has ruined him & made him selfish & indifferent. I questioned myself till I found out about BPD & NPD. That research explained everything to me. But I don't know what I can do to fix this now :'(
+mirchi83 : I'm in the same boat, but am working at saving every penny and waiting out the next 4 or 5 months so I can leave. I will live in a tent before I stay for any more of this kind of "treatment." I have been ground down to dust. But like the phoenix, I will rise from these ashes! Pray, pray, pray and I ask God to show us The Way. Gracias, Amen.
Catherine S. Todd my wife is the same as your husband and i feel like I'm not even a human anymore, life feels pointless and i feel trapped... how did it go with you? I am also trying to save up and move on but i have a son, my wife is also treating my son like a slave and he is also becoming traumatized...
Any good news? Did you move into a tent haha i was also thinking of living in a tent near the ocean if i can't have quick enough...
I can spot a Narcissist a mile away, even though the persona that is portrayed can be very convincing at first, my instinct can detect the deception. My step father was a Narcissist and he controlled the whole family with fear and manipulation. This was good training ground for me. These days i help people break free from controlling/manipulating relationships. Unfortunately many people do not realize the manipulation that is taking place, because they do not know any different. The Internet is wonderful in this way, for it helps people to see the relationship for what it is, and as a result..... hopefully those people will realize they deserve better.
Yes! I’m a free spirit! My mother used to tell me “ don’t get so excited” .. who says that except a narc!
First they will try to destroy. Thenif they can not destroy them they will smear and despise them.
Thank you, you have described my mother. You say *lucky to be abandoned*... yes, though it has been one of the most painful things in my life, because it was my mother, because it was a lifetime of abuse since I was a little girl.... I am *luck* that she abandoned me a year ago because that rendering was so painful that I had no choice but to heal... learning to love myself.
Thank you.
olivosARTstudio I'm so sorry for the abuse you've endured, I'm glad you are no longer in contact. Peace to you!
At the end of the day it is all the games that they play . If one is careful when dating then one can spot this type. The love bombing , constantly texting you, telling you that you're the best thing since sliced bread. This is usually not a good sign . Dating and falling in love takes time , .The love bomb is an attempt to set you up to think that they have found the love of their life. Be careful not to leave yourself open to this. The next thing may be is that they set you up with some type of crazy making game then tell you that you are crazy. Do no ever doubt your sanity , realize you are dealing with a very sick individual and do not engage. The main thing is be careful when dating then you will have no reason to sit around making films about this type which in itself can be a sickness. Learn healthy boundaries , take care when dating and you then have all the power you need . We as individuals need to learn that it is us and not them that we need to learn about. Learn about the vulnerabilities that leave you open to this type, maybe you are giving of certain signals . There are some good books such as "whos pulling your strings". and a book of this type will make you self aware so you possess the power to choose wisely or at least to not make a poor choice.
The "narc" is not that powerful as i said.
Really, it's just another term for abuser. The really psychopathic ones are the ones that want to destroy you if they can't control you.
I had a narcissist best friend/ex for 11 years, they destroyed my mind and i have flashbacks to this day. Evil vile people. Manipulative too.
You said it perfectly. You will be accused of being unforgiving when all they wanted was a relationship with you.
It’s not a relationship it’s a situationship of control manipulation game okay power play ect it’s not anything higher
Thank you for a Biblical message of strength to understand this dysfunction. I've had several of these types in my life and they do damage you. RUN and take it on the chin if they do retaliate( you cannot fight back) is my best answer and remember that Yeshua (Jesus) loves you. Satan is the primo Narcissist and many who deny Christ are starting to show Satan's personality trait. I believe this is why there is such an increase in this dysfunction along with ones as yourself educating people and bringing this out.
Having been educated at a catholic convent, I found a plethora of narcissists all around me. My (estranged and no contact 5 years )MIL is religious - Narcissist, My first boss when I was working at a catholic school - major narcissist. Tried to get me fired because I was not a churchgoer
ladytess57 yes! my husband exhibits so many evil characteristics! at first it was all charm and placing me in a pedestal. even My brother. who had known him for years. warned me that the only worse person I could have beside me was the devil himself. sadly he passed before seeing me break free.
Before youtube I didn't realize how many people in the world have had the displeasure of having a narcissist or narcissists in their life. The simplistic message is to get away from them. However, oft times, there are individual difficulties in removing a narcissist from ones life. In these cases, my view, is to seek professional assistance to work through the issues to be able to get away from the narcissist. It is not good for you if you delay getting away from the narcissist if there are individual difficulties because the longer one delays the longer they suffer at the hands of the narcissist.
joseph raccuia I completely agree. But be selective of who you choose as a professional (we are not, we are fellow survivors) make sure they are experienced with victims of narcissism.
They get absolutely worse in time, because they refine their perversion, they've learned more about human nature and they have a lot of practice. Having a narc sibling and being in my 50's, I've observed the "evolution", the sophistication of her skills in working on her public image. Having seen how she turned towards our parents as they aged, there's no way I can let her around me as I grow older. She's a soul predator who looks like a saint. I finally decided to run before she destroys my life.
Absolutely SPOT FREAKING ON!!!! My narcissist friend dumped me flat because I finally stood my ground and said "NO!", set a boundary, and flat refused to let her control me any more. Always would viciously attack my character when ever I would not do what she wanted, when she wanted. And this person claims to be a born again Christian.
Narcs love hiding behind religion it's a good cover for them.
You've hit the nail on the head....you can never achieve higher than pet status with a narc.
BINGO, Blue Crystal! Thank you so much for providing me with that wonderful analogy!! It really fits. My Dad infantilized me (or treated me like a child [or "Little DOG"]) & patronized me ever since I was 14 & in a bad head-injury accident. I think that what my dad was really attempting to do was to manipulate me for his own purposes & his own extreme needs for 'control'. In the last couple of years, I've become more aware through watching videos & reading some books & have decided that my Dad behaved as though he were a Covert Narc; I just didn't know it. He sure fooled a lot of people in his life! He even fooled the therapist he had to see bc my daughter had accused him of 'touching her inappropriately. (There is so much more to this story that I'm leaving out.) I am just so pleased to find your "Pet Status" quote!! I am now 64 & I only started figuring this stuff out in the last two or three years or so... I did go 'no-contact' with him the last year or so of his life (my Dad only died about 5 months ago). It's just been very recently that I finally feel I've been "allowed" to 'grow up' & be free (instead of being stunted forever; as if I were some kind of bonsai-tree-gone-wrong). My younger sister & I have now finally made-up with each other & become friends. Everything is so much easier now these days. I don't talk to or have much contact w/my dad's relatives (i.e. my cousins) who were actually flying monkeys for my dad; but who knows what the future holds. What an awful & terrible thing to have a narc in one's life. My sincere condolences to all of you out there who are still suffering with this kind of awful mess in your lives. I also have a friend that's going through a terrible & painful situation with the narcs in her family. I hope she can escape these monsters & flying monkeys that make her life so unweildly
"unwieldy" & hard. :(
Blue Crystal You hit the nail on the head!
Do they even realize how other people see those ghastly actions
Though no one should try to destroy a pet
This narc person that you are speaking of, is my wife of 27 years. After 27 years of war between us our children have grown up and have lives of their own now.. They no longer depend on mom and dad for total support. Now I have made it clear to her that I don't have to stay with this. I can move anywhere I want to and leave her behind.. And the thought of no financial support for her has really helped shut her up and keep her in line.😆
Ghostkillah: I agree with you most of my family are narcs some worse than others. My husband helped me go no contact. I would at least recommend it to her if you haven't already. It's hard for some reason we get this enormous amount of guilt for doing it. Once you get past that and keep it up you're on your way to healing. The longer she stays away the more abuse she will remember and see more clearly. I wish you and your GF the best. It's worth it to be free of them the guilt fades. Thank you for your comments.
smakintosh yes i have a narcissistic mother. i gradually cut her off. no one gets it. only youtube channels. even irish counsellors don't know what an adult child of a narcissist is. which is why i do. but yeah you're pretty fucking screwed. especially if you don't have much money. i did not have much money but i wanted so badly to get away from my mother so badly that i managed it.and i have never regretted a decision which not many people understand. my own sanity was at risk so ya know fuck the judgers.i have been judged for this a lot but i find the judging comes from people with good parents.
Judith Thomson set firm healthy boundaries. oh they won't like it one bit. but thats because narcissistic parents only think of life in terms of themselves and how aww their feelings are hurt.
Judith Thomson well... believe it or not... my feelings are hurt when my adoptive mother who i quite obviously did not choose tries to kill and section me. or when she gives all my shit away and eveyone goes wow eleanor is so generous. yes. eleanor is exceptionally generous. with my stuff.aww did she give you a piano? that was mine and i liked it. aww did she buy you a holiday on her credit card? what a gem. did she conveniently forget to tell you gillian paid it off later? thought so.
Judith Thomson they are infuriating. i see people jizzing about my mother on facebook and it made me really just want to fucking kill someone so i have deleted it and just use twitter and googleplus now. but basically...
Judith Thomson if you have any form of a moral compass you won't jizz about the dogooderness of eleanor thomson.
Oh, they will insist that you are a callous swine for cutting them off. When my narc father tried yet again to make me feel guilty by telling me he loved me, I remarked that he didn't respect me, though. And his reply was: 'What do you need respect for?'. And that's what it's all about. You are worthless cattle to be used and abused, and they get their sick pleasure from it. Expect no respect from these people, even when they are family.
This was the first video I watched on narcissism 2 years ago, when I began my recovery and education on this terrible disorder. It rings true on every level. Thank you to this channel's facilitator. May the Father Almighty bless you.🙏😊👍
A narcissist as a church leader can do more harm that a full army toghether. And drive as much people away from God as Satan itself. The worst part, they'll make everyone believe they're the holy ones and you the perverse one for not submitting to them. May God open our eyes and deliver us from these sheep clothed wolves.
You are so right. I am amazed how gullible church people are. These pulpit predators suck the life out of the church with their domineering, selfish actions. When people refuse to knuckle down to them, they attack with vengeance. They are better, and smarter than everyone else. They blame everything that doesn't work on others. These narc leaders ate toxic and dangerous. Run!!!
Good material on Narcissism.
true ..they try
experienced this ..it was hell
SPARTANLIFECOACH thank you sir. You have been a blessing to me as well.....
c/p my oldest son's reply to my email with this link:
Fascinating. I think it's so hard for people to understand because they can't imagine what value the narcissist could derive from creating havoc and destruction, especially since to a sane person there appears to be no advantage to the narcissist in their behavior. They don't understand that to a narcissist, havoc and destruction ARE the payoff. If they can control you they get their narcissistic Supply for a longer period of time, but if they cannot control you, the only other way they can get any supply (which comes in the form of any negative emotion you can provide, fear, pain, jealousy, guilt) is to destroy you.
I believe the reason they are so furious when they can't control you is that they are terrified of what they can't control. Control over their Supply is the only thing that keeps them going. When you take that away from them they go nuts.
he wouldnt let me see my children for 2 years.. it was like i was dying ..in fact if i hadnt left him i would have died ,. its true he bought me flowers but only if i deserved them according to him ..
Second Peter 2:3 was a good relevant passage. Lately I have also been considering "In the last days, men will be lovers of self ..." (2 Tim. 3:2).
Oh Man!! No wonder my father hated me so much!! Thanks!
+Finally free from Narcissism It's so devastating, sometimes I still wish I had a loving grandmother like I see others get and wonder if I can repair the relationship. But at least I am free from abuse, I can't keep hoping she will love me.
I say he was not your father. A father will hold your hand.
I have a brand new take on those tormented by a narcissist or narcissists who have been robbing us of our joy and moving ahead in life. This is only for those who do not have to have contact anymore. I am more specifically speaking of a Mother, Dad, sister, or brother, who did the most horrific things to you that years later you are tormented and cannot wrap your mind or emotions around it to move forward while the narcissist is forging full steam ahead with theirs and seemingly to be doing fabulous with their life. This may seem weird, but have you ever heard of the song, "Silent Lucidity?" One of my all time favorites. Kill them off and their very existence in your mind. Train your mind through brainwashing, mind control, hypnosis, guided meditation, and whatnot that they never existed ever. Every bad memory and every good memory where they were in it, rewrite it to erase them and it is very hard at first but it gets easier with time. When someone brings them up in your family or they contact you out of the blue or something when you least expect it, don't acknowledge them. Act like you never knew them or heard of them. I know it sounds crazy. Let your other family members think you are crazy when they say, "I thought about calling "George" today or I heard from "Cindy" in a weird way on Facebook. She contacted me through a cousin saying she wanted to communicate with me. Your response to this family member should always be "Who?" Act like you have never heard of them and convince yourself that you have never heard of them. Like they never existed like in its "A Wonderful Life," with Jimmy Stewart. The first few weeks it is hard, but then it gets easier with time. Also only communicate and form relationships with people who are sane and don't play mind games and are loving and giving and do the same towards them. Also, cut off all the flying monkeys or associates that hang out with your narcissistic relationship and try to get you to mend fences or say things like, Maybe God will bring you all back together again? Just do yourself a favor and erase this person and find love and enjoyment. Do not overcomplicate it. 2019 will be a new year and this person who has caused me years or torment who stole my inheritance, abused my Father, gave everything in the house away will not hurt me because I rewrote those memories out. It is like a bad dream. Remember if it didn't happen and you convince your mind of it, then it can't hurt you and you can slowly, very carefully, break free. May 2019 be a fascinating year and may you all form new ties and loving relationships with normal people!!!!
Sounds like the exact path, in dealing with my neighbor.
These people are evil . Im marry with a abusive person . I marry him thinking he was the best person in the world . Because of this manipulative monster I'm going to have to leave the country and have a normal life with my daughter . I'm really in a bad shape right now but I'm going to get rid of this monster . Me and my daughter don't deserve that .
Loved this. Very true in my case - went NO CONTACT in order to heal. Best thing you can do.
Suzanne Marie O'Connor yes but how with a child with them?
Jennifer, thanks for sharing that you're going through the same situation as myself and for your supportive words! I agree we deserve a great life, free of toxic people and full of positive energy for ourselves! My plan if I ever run into any of my family is to get away without saying a word. They are too full of evil/lies/deceit/self sickness for me to ever put up with again. It's impossible to have a polite conversation with a narcissist without somehow being smeared emotionally by them. Staying on my side of the fence when it comes to thinking about the past is the healthiest option for me. We should be so proud of ourselves for choosing to be who we are inside and not giving into the generational lies and just wrong behavior. All of this has left me scarred but the scars are lessening as I get healthier.
Wishing you much love too and a new life filled with joy, happiness and many fun adventures. :)
The best way to handle a narcissist? Be the beautiful, powerful sovereign person that you are. Let them know that you will NOT be bullied or controlled by them. Let them hate on you all they want. Be the hardcharging overachiever that you know you are. You know that you are worthy.
My ex-"friend" is a narcissist. She used everyone in our circle of friends and no one realized it. She made you think that you matter to her until someone new came along and she tossed me aside.
She used me and manipulated me all the the time and I never realized it. She would trick me into giving her the homework answers and trick me into thinking certain girls were mean or weren't good people.
She would cut me off all of my other friends from me so she could be the only one I would talk to.
At one point I felt like I couldn't talk her about personal matters and spoke to a close mutual friend of ours.
She soon cut me off from this friend and became friends with her. And the pattern repeated.
When this narc felt like she had no use for me and felt threatened by me, she began making me feel insecure about myself.
Everything revolved around her and if something was said out of line she turned on you and made you feel bad you even opened your mouth.
I started to feel bad about the clothes I wore and I watched what I said. I couldn't be myself, i was being controlled and forced to be this other person.
I recently a few weeks ago cut this person from my life and started sitting with a group of completely new friends.
It's hard because there were times when I wanted to go back to her and apologize and build up our friendship again. Then I realized that if I wanted to be her friend again I would have to be the person to say sorry because she would never apologize.
I'm glad I cut out of my life and its funny to see her get angry when anyone from her circle of friends talks to me.
I really love it that your reaching so many people!!! I re-watch this for inspiration.
Honey Badger me too! Hugs
I am free as my Narsiccitic mother has passed away I left home and moved to another country. I stupidly kept believing her empty promises and went home to visit her many times. my husband always asked why I put myself through the pain I could not answer him I didn't know why. I guess because she was my mum and I thought the way she treated me and my siblings was the norm. these people are evil I am having therapy to help me get more tuned in to my feelings and emotions. If you know for any reason something is not right with either mum, dad, husband or wife. listen to your gut instincts and cut all ties with the person involved. These people will destroy you the physical scares will heal but the emotional scares never always remember God loves you.xx
I lived for 30 YEARRSS with this personality. He was physically disabled too. Exquisite Manipulator. However, his DX is ►Psychopathy◄. Narcissism was part of it, yes...and He was a serious destroyer, even a killer in life before me. I discovered all of that after the fact. I had never known anyone with these sorts of traits so I was baffled for a very long time. I even thought that I was defective for being in the arrangement. Felt like "I could do no better" and stayed stuck... (I was drop dead gorgeous too)--something did have to be awry with me for even letting him into my life. He did in the end destroy me...His destructive stuff started in earnest when I became assertive about I needing to move on. I could no longer be his Care Giver because My body was now giving out; I needed to retire (and I surely needed something refreshing--he was Asexual also). He became very VERY reactionary/squirrely after that; pulling all kinds of stunts (at home) to illicit sympathy. He didn't love. He used. He has since passed away but the destructive forces he set into motion which then led to me being Homeless at 66yrs Old!! continues. I'm still paying for not getting out much sooner. I didn't know.
Essyemmm I am so very sorry! The only good is that he can no longer hurt you. Of course there are the scars that you have to deal with now. I pray for you that you are healed of the pain that this monster has caused. Unfortunately the memories remain but the pain connected to it I pray will be removed. You are not alone God Bless you in your journey of healing.
TY...that is very kind. I am moving on ...finally. Bright Blessings to you as well....xx
Essyemmm I'm sorry for your current situation. So sorry. Mine put me and my son on the streets after helping him pay off an IRS lien of 40k on his 500k, mortgage free home. Mine was also asexual. I wonder if that is a trait? I always said, he could never make love because he was too busy f**king me over.
Omgoodness Dear! I am NOT happy that happened to you but I'm a bit relieved to know that I am not alone in this. I have to wonder about that "trait" myself. So many other reports on these Personality disordered creatures speak of excessive sexuality in their partner.. BUPKIS here; Ice cold.. sheesh..
I DO SO hope you are in a better spot now?
Many warm hugs and bright blessings to you...
Essyemmm You too sweetie, Many hugs and prayers to you too.
My mother hated my youth and my developing body. She beat the hell out of me because I was a free spirit and talented. When I decided to separate myself she ruined my reputation and told people that I was a drug addict a whore and even tried to destroy my marriage. Thanks for the video my friend . I am just learning how to deal with the issues that she caused in my life. I still can't understand why people believe her when they know my character and yet I am the piece of crap!! My father passed away and it got worse.
John Narayan I don't think I could do that. I think I am better off staying away. If I tried to sue her it would be another way she would try and manipulate my life. Thanks for the edvice tho.
Thank you for your thoughts and information in this video. Wow is all I can say.. you nailed it.. for this is exactly happened to me when I " drew the line in the sand " with my Mother. I could no longer take her toxic behaviors and vicious words against my Dad and pretty much anyone she saw as a threat. I unleashed the Devil when I did that. She became bitter, toxic and slandering my good name and reputation. She even tried to turn my own Son against me. My siblings believed her and they became distant and believe that I hate our Mother . She had them convinced that I treated her horribly after a visit, when in all actuality she treated me with anger, shame, guilt and fear. She would call them and twist the story. Its hard to believe that your Mother would do this, she was very sick ... but now I see myself as a free spirit, and I do believe God created me special with special talents and abilities and I am a critical thinker who can think on my own. NOW I UNDERSTAND why she hated me so much. Painful as it is I DO BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE! Thank you for this insight!
This is a really great meditation. It could be 90 minutes of this and I'd just listen to it over and over.. My "father" is a sadistic, violent and cruel alcoholic narc.This keeps my mind on the positive side of that.
It all makes such better sense now as I knew she had some serious problems but once I caught her cheating, for the umpteeth time in 25 years, I stopped responding to her, told her to leave and then the death glare and Katy bar the door!!! All hell broke loose, I did not know this woman in front of me at all. She split 2,000 miles away leaving the kids and Grandkids and me all wondering what the hell just happened...Now I can wrap my head around it, she had lost all control over me, so I was nothing to her...Good video...Thanks for posting it...
Dude this is so fucking spot on. Excuse my French but I'm the receiving end of this bullshit, with one of these disgusting ass hats and I can't even begin to tell you how you hit the nail on the head. The narc had tried to control me (of course using someone else to do their dirty work) and I refused to comply with their demands. Right away, I called her out (via the same puppet she used to attack me) and I told the puppet that I knew it was the narc who had the issue and that the narc was acting insecure. Two years later, the narc and the puppet, refuse to talk to me because of it. I saw right through her and she panicked. I've made several attempts in the last two years to try and fix things but the narc refuses to talk to me. She has sent out on a smear campaign against me as well. Accusing me of doing and saying all of these horrible things. She knows she cannot control me.
What your video helped me with is seeing why she can "forgive" certain people. This has been something I've long wondered about and now I see what it is. Thank you.
+Notorious Lee *What I wonder is who this 89 yr old Mother Narc will do when I no longer live here and cut off ALL TIES. They NEED someone to punish at all times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*I guess she'll either find some one else or do without and really be miserable!!!!*
+Bam Bam Education will help you to get the education you need to heal and move on.
Sid Young well I see you wrote this comment 21 weeks ago. I hope by now you are away from the narc. Don't worry. She will find another "supply". You need to focus on your own well being and healing. Best of luck to you.
"While we plan and dream , they plot and scheme."
.....very important. "if ur lucky, they'll fuckin disappear"