SECRETS FROM MY BABY-GAY DIARY

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  • Опубліковано 26 лип 2024
  • reading my old journals for your entertainment today... 😅 enjoy!
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    Intro visuals by Kianna Erediano & Iacocca Erediano.
    Intro song by LAVREN. / lavrenproductions
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 250

  • @debbie7989
    @debbie7989 2 роки тому +1418

    "it's juliet and androgynous juliet" im crying

  • @eddiespaghetti2734
    @eddiespaghetti2734 2 роки тому +949

    so did all lesbians go through not being able to get over their first real gay crush????

    • @conlon4332
      @conlon4332 2 роки тому +73

      YES YES YES YES. I was seriously obsessed! I literally couldn't imagine my life without obsessing over her! It was A LOT. I'm not proud of it, and I wanted to get over her for months - watched so many UA-cam videos - but it was impossible. Eventually it just happened naturally, but nothing I did made a difference. Honestly I really hope nothing like that ever happens again as it's pretty scary how she consumed my life and how little control I had. I also don't know if I learned anything that would make another time any different - as I said I eventually (pretty out of nowhere) became pretty apathetic towards her, but I've no idea how and it didn't seem to be to do with anything I did, as hard as I tried to get over her. Oh well, it's been years and nothing similar (all-consuming) has happened since, so fingers crossed.

    • @tinakrisnaibot3233
      @tinakrisnaibot3233 2 роки тому +4

      She isn't a lesbian!

    • @oldenoughtobeyourmom221
      @oldenoughtobeyourmom221 2 роки тому +2

      Yes

    • @sofias4777
      @sofias4777 2 роки тому +16

      she is pansexual i beleive, so i think a more inclusive thing to say is wlw or queer women but also yes :))

    • @mindy5027
      @mindy5027 2 роки тому +27

      Yep, in middle school I had a friend and we would hold hands and walk to classes together and flirt and be gay but neither of us had totally realized we were queer yet (shes bisexual and I'm a lesbian) but we would even talk about how when we got older we would travel the world together and get married but "just as friends" lol. I'm 19 and she's 18 and we recently reconnected after not speaking all throughout highschool and we both came out to eachother and talked about how we were crushing on eachother in middle school. We both admitted to even checking the other persons Instagram to see how they were/what they were doing every once in a while. I moved out of the state around the time we stopped taking but im visiting her in Nov. Which should be..interesting and good I hope lol. (Theres still a small piece of me that thinks maybe just maybe something will happen but either way I just at least want to be friends)

  • @nella2852
    @nella2852 2 роки тому +71

    "literally and figuratively..." had me dead 😭💀

  • @slaysweetie21
    @slaysweetie21 2 роки тому +110

    WHY DID THAT PROM STORY SOUND LIKE IT CAME FROM A WATTPAD STORY LMAO

    • @KearaGraves
      @KearaGraves  2 роки тому +48

      FOR REAL THO. I COULD WRITE A FANFIC. WHY DIDN'T I???

    • @slaysweetie21
      @slaysweetie21 2 роки тому +15

      @@KearaGraves PLSJSJD ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO 😭😭

    • @KearaGraves
      @KearaGraves  2 роки тому +24

      @@slaysweetie21 TRUE... 😏

    • @CursedChildOfTheFae
      @CursedChildOfTheFae Рік тому +1

      THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING!!!

  • @charlenechan8189
    @charlenechan8189 2 роки тому +113

    OMG THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ICONIC BABY KEARA WAS AN ICON. THE VOCABULARY THO 😭 SHAKESPEARE COULD NEVER

  • @evab1410
    @evab1410 2 роки тому +726

    I recently found a poem I wrote when I was about 9 and it went:
    "This is a sad poem about a woman with no man:
    Once there was no man,
    Oh well... so be it"
    Maybe I was a super young feminist (rejecting the idea that a woman without a man is sad) or I was not able to see myself with a man (because...gay), or both! I didn't journal much as a kid, but I love I still have this

  • @jennsumbera6435
    @jennsumbera6435 2 роки тому +576

    THIS WHOLE VIDEO WAS EVERYTHING FKJDSHGS. PLS U ARE SUCH A MOOD KEARA, IT WAS SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

  • @walker8068
    @walker8068 2 роки тому +150

    I remember picking out boys to have a crush on during primary and then getting uncomfortable or grossed out when they liked me back. Turns out I was a baby gay not willing to except I had a crush on my best friend, probably why I hated her boyfriend…. 😅

    • @ariiiiiiiiiiiii6583
      @ariiiiiiiiiiiii6583 2 роки тому +13

      omg i 'picked' boy to have crushes on to

    • @anystuff241
      @anystuff241 2 роки тому +2

      Well- same. I'm pan but as I the first time liked a boy that actually liked me back as soon as he started to text with hearts I got so uncomfortable that I told him it was a prank. He was really hurt but after that we kinda became friends. Later on he got a crush on me again but this time I was like no, let's stay friends. (and then I have more tea to that but it's not the point so...)

    • @walker8068
      @walker8068 2 роки тому +1

      @@anystuff241 I relate to the hearts omg

    • @imameme3185
      @imameme3185 2 роки тому

      @@ariiiiiiiiiiiii6583 oh my god, ME TOO! like jeez

  • @maggie5018
    @maggie5018 2 роки тому +139

    It’s so sweet how you want to slowly share more and more of yourself with us here. I can see from u younger self journals that you’re a really smart, kind and valuable person! So glad to be a part of ur community

  • @Kaywah
    @Kaywah 2 роки тому +126

    Hahaha it was super funny and cute! “Juliet and androgynous Juliet” that was hilarious! Thanks for sharing Keara, it made me think about myself and figuring out my sexuality.

  • @mintchocolatechip8673
    @mintchocolatechip8673 2 роки тому +98

    lmaooo I love thisss I wish I would've written down my feelings when I started questioning so I could look back on it and cringe a little bit as well hahah

  • @eca7726
    @eca7726 2 роки тому +225

    it's so nice to feel like a hopeless romantic high school student again, thank you for making this. Pls do this again (only if you want to 😂)

    • @tanapsycho1008
      @tanapsycho1008 2 роки тому +6

      im in highschool rn and i can't get this girl out of my head so im glad im not alone (shes so pretty; crying and throwing up)

    • @urgayfriend
      @urgayfriend 2 роки тому +3

      I’m in middle school and I am still a hopeless romantic #rejection

    • @tiny.elephant9695
      @tiny.elephant9695 Рік тому

      I am in that phase rn😔

  • @AydenGraceMusic
    @AydenGraceMusic 2 роки тому +37

    It’s funny when people think I suddenly became bi, or being gay is a choice, because look at my old journal entries, you’ll see it wasn’t a sudden “decision”. It was a life long discovery

  • @mirrorball_12
    @mirrorball_12 2 роки тому +47

    Already know from the title that this video I gonna be one hell of a video, love ya Keara hope you are doing well this must have brought so many nostalgic memories ❤

  • @ilistentogirlinred3097
    @ilistentogirlinred3097 2 роки тому +27

    "but instead of romeo and juliet it's juliet and androgynous juliet." LOL I love this so much.

  • @lassam333
    @lassam333 2 роки тому +74

    So interesting what things you find out/remember going back through memory lane. Do still have contact with "Juliet" ?

    • @KearaGraves
      @KearaGraves  2 роки тому +44

      she's still a friend of mine! we catch up once in a while! :)

  • @Travel_and_kittens
    @Travel_and_kittens 2 роки тому +21

    “It's Juliet and androgynous juliet”, why is this describing my life so well? (✨🏳️‍🌈I AM ABSOLUTELY GOING TO USE THIS SENTENCE 🏳️‍🌈✨)

  • @daddyvr6858
    @daddyvr6858 2 роки тому +23

    I'm so ready for the para social slumber party vibes

  • @sehersings2543
    @sehersings2543 2 роки тому +11

    Omg what you read from your past sounds like something I’d write in my journal now lol

  • @kfc6029
    @kfc6029 2 роки тому +20

    this is so funny to me because i had a very similar 'not knowing im gay' growing up story haha

  • @angelpragyaminz1950
    @angelpragyaminz1950 2 роки тому +11

    I've never been this early to Keara's video before!!
    love you!!

  • @sheanentheong
    @sheanentheong 2 роки тому +99

    Hi Keara! Um I'm thinking of starting a gay social club in college but idk what do people do in gay social clubs lol. If I'm not mistaken, you were in one for a while in highschool. Can you tell me some of the things you did? It would be really helpful. Thanks. Love you 💕

    • @awkweirdabby8352
      @awkweirdabby8352 2 роки тому +34

      Hello! Currently about to be president of an lgbt club at my college. Some of the stuff we did in previous years: education/lgbt history, celebrate coming out day, educating allies, make bracelets with your pride flag, letting people rant about their struggles, halloween party, lgbt safe prom, crafts, advocating for lgbt rights on campus. Open mic/art show, chalk drawing, trips to lgbt museums or movies/musicals if anything is nearby. Oh also watching movies and short films and stuff with representation together. The most important part is that you’re there as a calm, safe space especially if your college isn’t super liberal. Feel free to email me!

    • @sheanentheong
      @sheanentheong 2 роки тому +4

      @@awkweirdabby8352 thank you so much! 💖💖

    • @awkweirdabby8352
      @awkweirdabby8352 2 роки тому +3

      Sheanen the Ong np! Good luck!! 💗

    • @nicegenderbro8814
      @nicegenderbro8814 2 роки тому +6

      But I think you also have to be careful not to out people who attend before they're ready

    • @sheanentheong
      @sheanentheong 2 роки тому +3

      @@nicegenderbro8814 yeah I also thought about that 😭 it's gonna be tough

  • @hannahmcadie2470
    @hannahmcadie2470 2 роки тому +6

    i have so many diaries from when i was a kid and i KNOW there’s so many baby gay moments in them

  • @melkorokam
    @melkorokam 2 роки тому +10

    girl you were writing whole fanfics i cant 💀

  • @conlon4332
    @conlon4332 2 роки тому +133

    I'm pretty sure "you can't help who you fall in love with" is a saying. Like, maybe a mushy teen romance saying, but still. I don't think you invented it.

  • @ericag321
    @ericag321 2 роки тому +5

    I just did a super similar thing recently going through all my old journals and cringing at all the closeted self talk 🤣

  • @shadowcat4529
    @shadowcat4529 2 роки тому +10

    Omg this whole thing is so relatable as I'm still in school and WOW that was cringe but super funny and cute!

  • @ericaschoenberg7782
    @ericaschoenberg7782 2 роки тому +9

    this is such a mood lmao!! I have a whole box of old diaries in my closet but there’s no buildup to the gay?? so ive been stalking my own tumblr posts from early 2012 trying to figure out When I Knew lolol

  • @kathleenpallotta
    @kathleenpallotta 2 роки тому +7

    KAOPDASKDDJHD that was funny. Don't feel too embarassed though, that's probably what EVERY baby-gay diary looks like 😂

  • @helenacorrea6620
    @helenacorrea6620 2 роки тому +23

    OMG! Everthing you felt I felt too at the same age! WOW! Boys in my classes had crush on me, but I didn't care and looking back today I was very mean to them lol. I was always in the boys group but I don't remember of having a huge crush on a girl at that age like before ten or 11 or 12, but I have today and it's a friend soo I deal with that pain :( Anyway, thank you for sharing your baby gay stories, that was really funny! LOVE YA! Take care!

    • @hannahbanana9901
      @hannahbanana9901 2 роки тому +1

      did we all collectively have our first gay crush on our best friend or am i the only one lol. it only lasted like 2 weeks :(

  • @kaiya33123
    @kaiya33123 2 роки тому +4

    This video made my day!!

  • @meikelezer8203
    @meikelezer8203 2 роки тому +5

    Teen keara was very angsty hahaha loved this video

  • @jennsumbera6435
    @jennsumbera6435 2 роки тому +3

    WHEN U SHOWED THE L&F PIC MY HEARTTTT-

  • @user-rb8co1xc6t
    @user-rb8co1xc6t 2 роки тому +7

    I watch every video by x2 but yours I watch it on normal speed bc I just want to enjoy it as fully long as possible its so fun!! Thank u sm for making these videos Keara:) love from South Korea💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️😍😍😍 hope u see this!!!😊

  • @eca7726
    @eca7726 2 роки тому +6

    I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THISSSSS

  • @viktorieprazakova5606
    @viktorieprazakova5606 2 роки тому +2

    part two please, i could watch this content for hours!

  • @tuxedosam5400
    @tuxedosam5400 2 роки тому +2

    The way you read this made it sound like some really strange Wattpad story, and honestly that’s how I wrote in my journals too 😂

  • @avaball2345
    @avaball2345 2 роки тому +2

    This was so funny i can understand how you felt while reading just trying to kind of change your emotions by reading in a different way 😅 love you keara

  • @valentinaosoriogonzalez3692
    @valentinaosoriogonzalez3692 2 роки тому

    OMG, this just made my whole day 😩

  • @BoolilyT
    @BoolilyT 2 роки тому +4

    can't wait to look back on my present writing lmao

  • @Darkstarproductions1
    @Darkstarproductions1 2 роки тому

    Omg this was priceless lol. We have all been there, well, mostly haha. It's very cool how you kept all your diaries that far back, I remember some of mine, but I didn't keep them because my handwriting was terrible. Today I keep a diary, but I do what the iconic Anne Lister (Gentleman Jack) did & I write anything personal in code, so no one else can read my cringy words lol

  • @AD-hs9su
    @AD-hs9su 2 роки тому

    😂🤣🤣🤣wow it just brighten up my day!! 😂 part 2 plsss

  • @epicme7032
    @epicme7032 2 роки тому +1

    Those journals are so fricking relatable, wasn't laughing coz it sounds bad, was laughing coz i felt so understood lmaoo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @yesxiloveyouthemost
    @yesxiloveyouthemost 2 роки тому

    I loved this so much, and it's very much relatable ;) you're not alone in this!

  • @em4200
    @em4200 2 роки тому +4

    “because i don’t really care either” ME WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

  • @ionataberham5983
    @ionataberham5983 2 роки тому

    so cute! I wish I journalled more!

  • @steph_0085
    @steph_0085 2 роки тому +1

    LOVE this! Great vlog. She’s That Girl would make a great title for a les romcom movie..

  • @diewertje9810
    @diewertje9810 2 роки тому +4

    Adorable , I was cracking up the whole time

  • @justinfelt748
    @justinfelt748 2 роки тому +3

    Hi, Keara!😊😊😊😊😊. This is amazing! I have never seen your old diary before in 2010. Also, the picture of you as a baby, it's so beautiful that I can cry happy!😢😢😊😊💙💙💙💙💙💙. And right now, you're all grown up and become the prettiest girl in the world with cool, positive vibes.💙🌈💜🌈💙🌈💜. I give this video a 10+ for your beautiful diary stories!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐👍. I love you so much, Keara. You're the best!😊😙💙💙💙💙💙🌈💜💜💜💜💜💜😊⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐👍

  • @itz_ary
    @itz_ary 2 роки тому +3

    I loved this so much. I still live with my parents (cause i'm in highschool and can't afford an apartment yet) so journalling just isn't in the cards for me. Like a couple of years ago I was maybe 10, 11. I kept a diary and I wrote about my crush in it both boy and girl but i didn't know i was queer yet so i described girl as my "very close best friend" but i legit described the boy as my crush and my parents got suspicious of me writing in it all the time, snooped through my room, found it and read it. Next thing I know i'm called into their room, they yell at me for HAVING A CRUSH in the first place then proceed to tell me I can't have one until i'm old enough to be MARRIED😭. Luckily they didn't pick up on the "very close best friend" bs or I would've been SCREWED. Sucks to have conservative Christian parents sometimes. Like they can insult someone pissing them off on the road by going too slow but I have one crush and Pandora's box is suddenly open. I'm probably NEVER coming out to them.

  • @stephtaylor6292
    @stephtaylor6292 2 роки тому

    Omg Keara! Please! I need more of this! .....was just getting into it the gay angsty teen vibes... my kinda content. :)

  • @KrissyFizzle
    @KrissyFizzle 2 роки тому

    Your handwriting was so pretty 😩❤

  • @slaysweetie21
    @slaysweetie21 2 роки тому +4

    LMAO PLS THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT I FELT THROUGH THE SCREEN OF LIL KEARA 😭😭

  • @_-maxine-_9460
    @_-maxine-_9460 2 роки тому +1

    I just found your channel, I really like your videos!!

  • @MargoMB19
    @MargoMB19 2 роки тому +1

    Omg I'm feeling secondhand embarrassment so hard! You are really brave to share all this, I can't imagine sharing my diary entries from that age with anyone (mine were usually a lot less coherent and rather stupid though).

  • @nikipomu
    @nikipomu 2 роки тому

    u wrote the diary like a whole gay romance novel and I love that

  • @harleyquiinnnn
    @harleyquiinnnn 2 роки тому

    i wish you did more of this 🥺

  • @idibidi3724
    @idibidi3724 2 роки тому +2

    9:30 >>>> Insert THAT short clip from Tom and Jerry where Jerry is calling Tom over. You know which one I'm talking about. 😶😝

  • @dahli8043
    @dahli8043 2 роки тому

    "its juliet and androgynous juliet" I LITERALLY LOST IT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM LAUGHING SO HARD

  • @meredithhsu1525
    @meredithhsu1525 2 роки тому +1

    this video make my day

  • @kayladennison7986
    @kayladennison7986 2 роки тому +2

    Her: boys haveing crushes on me and me hateing it
    Me: MY HOLE LIFE RN

  • @blandinelong33
    @blandinelong33 2 роки тому

    Oh, oh I need this so much.

  • @kennedysamuel6647
    @kennedysamuel6647 2 роки тому

    God this vid is my fav of all time now😂😂

  • @efis.636
    @efis.636 2 роки тому

    love your videos!Nice work☺️

  • @samcrabtree7751
    @samcrabtree7751 2 роки тому

    i love you. this is the best thing ever

  • @ananunez4887
    @ananunez4887 2 роки тому +3

    and you will see you 20 years today and you will feel tenderness

  • @loupelizzo2399
    @loupelizzo2399 2 роки тому

    I love and enjoyed your diary and love this gay readings and thank you so much for sharing your diary. Just a great video

  • @user-sc7rp8ks7s
    @user-sc7rp8ks7s 2 роки тому +1

    Senior Keara had their wattpad moment

  • @littlefishay219
    @littlefishay219 2 роки тому +1

    9:27 NOOOOOO LMAOOO

  • @rachellerios3739
    @rachellerios3739 2 роки тому

    Your Diary is literally my life right now lmao 🤣 I'm a awkward baby gay hahaha

  • @TinaMey
    @TinaMey 2 роки тому +2

    I have such a baby gay diary as well and whenever I read it I cringe so hard. It’s so funny and so obvious how gay I was. But it took me many pages before I actually questioned myself :’D

  • @sydneymarie7255
    @sydneymarie7255 2 роки тому +10

    why did we all resort to writing poetry 😭😭😭

  • @eddiespaghetti2734
    @eddiespaghetti2734 2 роки тому +12

    hiii lgbtq+ community🥰🥰

  • @soleneptune9498
    @soleneptune9498 2 роки тому

    That second hand embarrassment almost killed me great video😂😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @ellouisebadger849
    @ellouisebadger849 2 роки тому +2

    Really cute video idea 🥰

  • @luvvstayayay2623
    @luvvstayayay2623 2 роки тому

    PLS DO PART TWO 😃

  • @hafzahussain4510
    @hafzahussain4510 2 роки тому

    I loved this

  • @leolovsen1448
    @leolovsen1448 2 роки тому

    Hahaha I'm getting tumblr vibes, thank you for sharing❤

  • @landslave
    @landslave 2 роки тому

    You are SO GENUINE. How can we not be on team Keara? I hope you and Lauren love and live an epic life together for 70 yrs. And I hope you both understand you each won the lottery in spouses/wives/husbands.

  • @earlybirddreamful
    @earlybirddreamful 2 роки тому

    YOUR PALM (not hand lol idk the english word), i had to try doing that again, instantly (failed cause i don't have any hairstyleskills that pass braiding sth as in literally sth lmao, and my tophair was too long for the exact look)
    also i find it really nice that u censored stuff cause it shows other people they don't owe anyone exposing things that feel private!

    • @linloo111
      @linloo111 2 роки тому

      Do you mean their ponytail? (Yes, that's a real word. Language can be funny sometimes. 😆)

  • @mokgaetjikeetse7306
    @mokgaetjikeetse7306 2 роки тому

    Lmao😂😂pls make a part 2

  • @debbie7989
    @debbie7989 2 роки тому +5

    what you said at 6:38 ...... when i tell u it's like im hearing myself 😭 so relatable

  • @caryllannetrasmonte4325
    @caryllannetrasmonte4325 2 роки тому +1

    I literally did not have a boy crazy phase unlike my peers which made me thought maybe romance isn't for me, but then I was just actually gay

  • @hannahmaggieberdine2397
    @hannahmaggieberdine2397 2 роки тому +1

    My old diaries are just denial central lol

  • @paulahillman1100
    @paulahillman1100 2 роки тому

    So beautiful 😍😩

  • @tinotendagunda1163
    @tinotendagunda1163 2 роки тому

    I loved u on lost and found and u r a bicon and you've got me thorough some stuff ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @adelalidarikova2962
    @adelalidarikova2962 2 роки тому

    I died at the brackets

  • @bil_gor1223
    @bil_gor1223 2 роки тому +2

    Idk why but this video reminds me of when me and my friends found a breakup poem in the school bathroom that was obviously written by someone who was like 8 or 9. It was like,
    “Roses are red
    Vilets are ble
    And your soul is black
    For brecking up with me”
    It was really sad and funny at the same time!

  • @clemensfarver3028
    @clemensfarver3028 2 роки тому +1

    I would love you as though I was a girl. Girls have taught me so much. I 💘 love how girls love and need loved.

  • @eddiespaghetti2734
    @eddiespaghetti2734 2 роки тому

    i swear keara had a video with sarah carmosino where they read leah x rachel fanfiction that i was meaning to watch but now i can’t find it?? am i just imagining it or is it gone now :0

  • @corinneadair2119
    @corinneadair2119 2 роки тому +1

    Omg that isn’t cringe that’s so FREAKING CUTE OMG I’m 16 and whenever I try to Journal I get embarrassed and worried that someone will find it so I rip up the paper and throw it away lmao

  • @theyeetmaster9688
    @theyeetmaster9688 2 роки тому

    Am I the only one who had Little Miss Perfect playing on repeat in their mind during Baby Queera's after-prom party story?

  • @raine5384
    @raine5384 Рік тому

    LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY IM DYING

  • @theoneandonly1810
    @theoneandonly1810 2 роки тому +2

    This reminded me of myself in the 5th grade. I picked boys who were taller than me (because I was pretty tall and I didn't want a boyfriend being shorter that me. I know very cliche) and seemed pretty ( and sometimes they weren't even pretty). I wanted to convince myself I had a crush on one of them ( I don't even don't know why I did it) but I always wanted to be friends with this one girl (probably had a crush on her?🤷🏻‍♀️) In grade 3 and 6 I had almost the same problem (wanted to become friends with some girls). Now it turns out I'm bi 😂

  • @aggressivecatnamedtiny2462
    @aggressivecatnamedtiny2462 2 роки тому

    1:06 awwwwww alil deja vu 🥺 who else came form that show🥺

  • @speabi7203
    @speabi7203 2 роки тому +1

    7:53 keara… this sounds like my old FanFiction.

  • @kamilamendes687
    @kamilamendes687 2 роки тому

    9:52
    "rEaLly SetTiNg tHe ScEnE, what an angsty teen bedroom vibe"
    "It was not my own bedroom, it was like my friend's bedroom"

  • @quantumbat
    @quantumbat 2 роки тому

    good grief you have such beautiful handwriting

  • @Sophia-qq2ys
    @Sophia-qq2ys 2 роки тому +2

    Sounds like a whattpad story

  • @ajabtambuwala6172
    @ajabtambuwala6172 2 роки тому +2

    why do we have the same journal entries ??????!!!!