FOR NEW WIDOWS: Do I Know You? Common Issues In Fresh Grief // One Happy Widow

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  • Опубліковано 25 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 213

  • @lizannebartkowiak647
    @lizannebartkowiak647 Рік тому +11

    I’m riding a “rollercoaster”…..I’m okay, I’m not okay, I’m okay….etc….the mood swings are exhausting.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      This sounds normal, and common. Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @Gardeninginpearls
    @Gardeninginpearls Рік тому +10

    I am in fresh grief … again. My husband died 117 days after we were married in 2007, my boyfriend of 14 years died in October after a 15 month battle with lymphoma. I can barely tell anyone because it is too horrible to see the reaction on their faces i know the grief doesn’t go away but it does get softer. I am doing the best i can. I just wanted to thank you for your content. ❤ there is nothing more comforting than the understanding of another widow. I am 61.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      I’m so sorry you are going through this again. Praying for you #widfam

  • @doloresparker3582
    @doloresparker3582 Рік тому +20

    I’m 28 mos since my husband went to be with The Lord. I am continuing to grieve. Nothing is normal for me.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +4

      Yes, we do have to make our own new normal, or at least learn how to live with this new normal- and that is so tough to do! #widfam

    • @christar9527
      @christar9527 Рік тому +2

      I’m one week and I’m quite sure I’ll be grieving the same at 28 weeks. I’m in shock!

    • @lealugerlynch802
      @lealugerlynch802 3 місяці тому

      Me too
      2 years this month 🧡

  • @ruthmiller5588
    @ruthmiller5588 Рік тому +3

    I like your videos. Mister departed 4 months ago. You hit the highs and lows of grief well. I can say this, I never knew I could hurt so deeply. I've had great losses in my life, but none has ever hurt me like this. He was my everything. I was his everything. I didn't get to talk with him because he went so quickly. I did tell him if he had to go, I'd let him do so. He was asleep at that time. He passed at 9:22. 9-22 is the date of my birth. He left knowing that he was loved. Knowing that he loved. We were best friends since first grade. That was 60 years of friendship. We were partners for the past 27 years. I'll never be the same. Never.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      What an amazing love story that lasted nearly your whole lives. He was lucky to have you #widfam

    • @ruthmiller5588
      @ruthmiller5588 Рік тому

      We both felt very blessed to have one another. He told me many times it was so easy to be with me. To love me. I told him I felt the same way.@@OneHappyWidow

  • @BriHome
    @BriHome Рік тому +8

    😢my husband died 10 days ago and its really good to hear that im not alone in my feelings. Im only 32. I wish i knew how to help my kids.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @ijustneedmyself
      @ijustneedmyself 8 місяців тому

      There are grief groups for adults and for children.

  • @lindacharleville3708
    @lindacharleville3708 Рік тому +8

    My husband passed 1 year ago next month from alzheimers. It's very much a double loss. I lost the man I love first and then his physical presence in my life. Your videos are such a blessing in helping me deal with the grieving process. Thank you

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @nancyschaefer9748
      @nancyschaefer9748 Рік тому

      My husband of 33 years,Bill, died of Alzheimer’s last August so I understand what you are saying. Grief is a strange time and hits when you do not see it coming.

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      @@nancyschaefer9748 I pray you go strong

  • @yorkiemom4272
    @yorkiemom4272 Рік тому +9

    Very good video. Especially about the part where great friends were ever present, dragging me out when I didn't feel like it, and now, not even two months after my husband died... I'm alone. I cried harder two days ago then I did the week he died. Practically, made myself sick. All the stuff you have to do... wow. Who knew? They stopped Social Security, took his pension back out of his bank account, got letters in the mail saying I needed to pay Medicare back. And, his pension people told me it takes 60 days to review. Payments were bouncing as they froze his account. Glad he died first, he would have never figured this out. All the while, I'm sick with grief. Dan and I were known as comedic people. I've already laughed so much, people probably think I'm inappropriate. What a mess. Thanks for your channel!

    • @yorkiemom4272
      @yorkiemom4272 Рік тому +2

      @user-kf9rh9mj1o yes, amazing. I never expected all that. I was also newly retired so that added isolation. I can't imagine what you had to go thru going back to work, though! So amazing how cold all these institutions are. Just cut everything. He wasn't even cold yet and they were busy shutting down all financial resources! Bless you. May you find joy and happiness going forward

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      We use humor and laughter as a way to handle grief too, and sometimes it doesn't go over well with others. All we can do is all we can do! #widfam

  • @Crazyaboutpaper1
    @Crazyaboutpaper1 Рік тому +5

    Oh how true your words are. I had not time to mourn as I had to do the paperwork and so many issues and now I am not distracted and alone and all family members have moved on. Yes the brain and heart are in two different places.

  • @Charalldredge
    @Charalldredge Рік тому +3

    I’m new and under 60. Your right, no one gets me and I’m alone.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry. Thanks for sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      I believe someday you gonna meet when it's time and I bet he's proud of you wherever he is up there

  • @davidgates2355
    @davidgates2355 Рік тому +4

    My beloved husband died on Christmas Eve morning 2022 after a short battle with colon cancer. The pain and grief following his passing is truly terrible.

  • @sunscorpio71
    @sunscorpio71 Рік тому +9

    I'm so thankful I just found your channel this morning....my husband of 27 years just passed 6 days ago, on 1.9.23. I am 51. I can't even put anything I'm feeling into words. I'm going through the steps to lay him to rest. Thank you for creating this content to help all of us who are struggling. ❤🙏❤

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +2

      I’m glad you found it too. I hope the content comforts you, to let you know you’re not alone. Feel free to join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

    • @susansmith9318
      @susansmith9318 Рік тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your loss! Praying for comfort and peace. This is a wonderful site to get some comfort. It helped me a lot when I first lost my husband. Lifting prayers 🙏 up for you.

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +2

      So sorry about your lost I bet he's proud of you wherever he is up there

    • @jennyhubsch7627
      @jennyhubsch7627 11 місяців тому +1

      Thanks so much for sharing. Its helping me alot. Its almost 5mths now.

  • @KL-xx9gw
    @KL-xx9gw Рік тому +13

    Thank you for all your videos, they have helped me immensely, my husband died suddenly aged 56, his first anniversary is tomorrow, I can’t believe it’s a year already, you have been an absolute angel to me 🙏

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +2

      Thank you for watching, and sharing your feedback! It helps me to know that my stories might help others. #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @juliep1119
    @juliep1119 Рік тому +6

    As a recent widow your grief stages resonated in me : Denial, broken, angry, despair, fear of future, valley of grief . I don't want a "new normal!" - I'm not sure I how found you, but am glad I did. Thank you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching #widfam. Join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

  • @amberann9334
    @amberann9334 Рік тому +10

    Everything you said resonates with me, thank you so much! At almost 8 months I'm still wanting to be alone, just to think about what has happened and try to see a future for myself. All these crazy emotions, doubts and fears along with moments of hope and joy. Grief is so ugly and messy.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Yes, it sure is! Covid on top of grief didn't help with us getting out into the world and connecting with people either. #widfam

    • @sharonlee5294
      @sharonlee5294 Рік тому

      After a month and a. Half, I still want to be alone, but some of me wants timidly to have some short company. I just don’t want to talk about him, at the mention of his name, I cry, and I hate for people to see me cry. The song, “how do I live without you” is how I feel. I miss him so

  • @annetteevans5256
    @annetteevans5256 Рік тому +11

    Wow, this was so spot-on for me. My husband passed November 1st. We're both 59 and we'd been together for 40 years. Everything you said was perfect, it made so much sense. Trying to navigate being single when I don't want to be, the dust has settled, all the financial stuff has been done, and I'm trying to find my new identity. Thank you so much for your channel!

  • @staceystmartin3382
    @staceystmartin3382 Рік тому +5

    Im 44 he was 54 when he passed a year and 4 months ago .. You literally nailed all of it .. I cant believe how much i can relate with u and what u said .. The last few weeks I've been starting to feel like im getting worse not better , but as look back Iam doing some what better BUT IM DEFINITELY READY TO START LIVING MY LIFE AGAIN .. I deserve to happy , we all do 💙

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Yes, yo DO deserve happiness! The pivot course might be good for you: wwwgriefpivotcourse.com. #widfam

  • @chetappling8200
    @chetappling8200 Рік тому +3

    Hi, This is Jan (Chet A's mom)
    About 14 mos into the passing of my husband, I have been & still going thru some of the grief phases; but, some stuff is much better.
    I found your site while scrolling after watching other sites. Your site comes across as common sense & practical.
    I liked what your said about "not identifying as a widow/ widower" at the top of our my present identity.
    So "widow" category is now lower on my identity ladder. Thx so much. Great point!
    Keep do what U R doing!

  • @patwalker2501
    @patwalker2501 Рік тому +2

    It takes one to know one. When my husband died, I naively thought the grief period would last about 2 weeks. Now, more than 10 years later, I'm still going through it. No simple answers, but I think it is most important to give yourself a massive amount of grace. The grief support group I attended helped more than everything else. I still have many issues to resolve, but things are less stressful than at first. Thanks you for guiding us through this challenging journey. You are a tremendous inspiration and sympathetic ear to many.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your perspective. It is hard to understand this grief until we are living it.

    • @meelexports9222
      @meelexports9222 Рік тому

      Hi

  • @TheJillyrabbit
    @TheJillyrabbit Рік тому +8

    I'm currently into the angry phase a lot right now with a sloppy cry here and there...I'm trying to face emotions and not avoid them but sometimes it's hard and tiring but I believe somewhere there is some light down the road...

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      There is light and hope! Thanks for watching #widfam

    • @sharonlee5294
      @sharonlee5294 Рік тому

      I started out 4 days after losing hubby, with intense anger at my 2 sons, it was way out of proportion and lasted about 3 weeks. I suppose I felt that if I stayed angry, I would not have to feel the grief. I finally had to let it go, before it ruined my relationship with my boys. Now I cannot hold back the feelings I held back. The crushing grief of his loss has settled in. This is indeed tough to go through. Hugs

  • @SarahLynnLee
    @SarahLynnLee Рік тому +1

    Tomorrow will be a month since my precious husband passed away from complications from a stem cell transplant from leukemia and it's been awful. The past three days have hit me harder than when he first past away. I know it's starting to sink in that he's not coming back. He was my everything and I just don't know how to live anymore without him. I'm amazed that I've made it this far because I sure didn't think I could. I took you advice and got a notebook out and started journaling. It did help to get some of the feelings outside of me, especially because I don't like talking to people about that, I don't want to worry my family and friends. Thank you for doing these videos, you are my inspiration right now. you're doing so well, it seems.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for your feedback- I certainly do struggle sometimes, but it has been over 6 years for me. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace and time to learn how to live with this grief and loss. It does get easier to handle, even though we don’t want it to. Feel free to join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

  • @donnagattis263
    @donnagattis263 Рік тому +10

    Just spent the entire Christmas holiday through New Years sleeping most of the time. Started off with the flu that made all my travel arrangements change and it spiraled down from there. Starting to finally pull out after over a year of grief. Wanting to get things done and get out of my rocking recliner.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      That sounds like a good shift! #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @truelily7
    @truelily7 Рік тому +4

    Hi Leo! Been following you awhile. My husband passed in 2021. I did have anticipatory grief. But all along I was still thinking he would get dialysis and get better and come home. One day an unthinking Nurse Aid said to me, "Oh no, he'll go to the nursing home." It crushed me. I was determined to keep him out of Old Vet's home even though social workers had been pushing that all along. I knew of couples in that situation and none were happy with it. Finally he got dialysis but it was too late. Then I was brought into a meeting with Docs and social workers etc. I realized it was too late to bring him home and we went to palliative care. I will say they were great to us there and he quickly passed peacefully. But I think I had anticipatory grief for years before even though I had hope at the same time. I am seventy years old.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Some people can be so heartless when they speak to us about our loved ones 😡

  • @jbo2671
    @jbo2671 3 місяці тому

    Yes, you know me and I'm so glad I found you. You're so on point at 8ish minutes in. It's been 10 weeks since my husband of 30 years died. I have done all the immediate things when I could barely think, but now am procrastinating about the semi-immediate tasks. I've also had the anticipatory grief for the last year and a half when my husband's cancer treatment wasn't tolerable and then 2 hospital stays after starting a new treatment and finally hospice. I'm going to join your Facebook group and look forward to your UA-cam videos.

  • @Travelensteve
    @Travelensteve Рік тому +2

    Thank you for this video. I have not been able to hear such topics. It's been 11-months, and it is just now getting real for me. I am 57, was 20 years married, no children or family in close proximity. I work and go home. Unbeknownst to me, at the time, I created this alternate person who is chatting with others online wanting desperately for those people to like me. I put on airs, and I am sick to my stomach about it all. I projected so much just so I did not have to feel the deep deep pain. I was living in a make-believe world. My mind blocked out so much that I honestly think I became another person entirely. Grief is so unnecessarily cruel.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      I can see how this can happen. You created a person who is happy and feeling the way you want to feel. Pretending, in denial of your pain and grief. And it never goes away, it just lies in wait until you can no longer hold it in. Praying for you- and now that you recognize this about yourself, you can work to face the grief and pain so that you can process it. #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I pray you get over it someday sweetie just in few years when I lost my elder daughter during the COVID-19 pandemic I bet they're up there watching us in the side of thy lord

  • @nancymay9004
    @nancymay9004 Рік тому +4

    It has been 5 years. Part of this year was harder than early grief. But part of it was exciting to start going to people's houses and visiting. To help me, I started a single ladies luncheon group once a month. It gives us something to look forward to. Thank you for your honest sharing. I use the phrase "I am no-k" on days that are hard when people say, "how are you?"

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      That’s an interesting way to let folks know when you are struggling #widfam

  • @midiaz1319
    @midiaz1319 Рік тому +1

    Yes you now me very well as I relate to every singe thing that you have mentioned after losing my wife in Feb 2023. Not easy but at least I know that I am not going crazy, not alone and this is normal what I am going thru. Thanks' for sharing.

  • @jbo2671
    @jbo2671 2 місяці тому

    Thanks for validating everything I’m feeling. It’s 14 weeks since my husband died and your comment about people asking How are you? jumped out at me. I find myself saying I’m ok but then feel I’m not totally honest so then say “I’m up and down” or “I’m taking it one day at a time”
    I’m also finding myself overbooking plans because when I’m home I just stare at the computer for hours. But then I’m tired because I’m not taking enough time to rest…

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому +1

      This sounds normal, especially during your phase of grief

  • @anniepavlick
    @anniepavlick Рік тому +3

    Thank goodness for you. ❤

  • @Orangestanley64
    @Orangestanley64 Рік тому +1

    I lost my husband 2 months ago and after the initial shock and immediate busy time with funeral and paperwork, I put the grief aside to focus on our daughters wedding which was 10 days ago. Now with that behind me I feel slammed with sadness and grief. I never ever expected this at 59. He was only 62.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Sounds like you just deferred the grief and now it’s coming back. I’m sorry you are having to go through this.

  • @panzerwork
    @panzerwork Рік тому +4

    Your voice is so soothing and I feel like you really get it. Threre's so much fear right now, but you made my day a little better. Thank you!

  • @lindseysummers5351
    @lindseysummers5351 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for this. I an still a relat5new widow, as I lost my wife of 20 years back in April (on my Mom's and her aunt's birthday). The first holiday I went through after losing her was Mothers Day, and WOW was that rough. Independence Day was easier, but our younger son and I didn't do much that day. I have no idea how I am going to do on my birthday because that will be exactly one year since we got the word that we were nearing the end of her cancer journey. I don't even want to think about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I start to think I can do this and am feeling upbeat but something keeps pulling me back in. Still, I am confident I will find a way to be feel more like myself. Reinventing my home space has proven surprisingly therapeutic. I just have to remind myself to keep a good pace and not burn myself out.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Milestones can be difficult! Thanks for watching #widfam

  • @shazgannie9982
    @shazgannie9982 Рік тому +4

    Thank you for all your advice. It's a tremendous help. I'm happy to know One happy widow is available. 🤗❤️👍

  • @TanyaClark-h6h
    @TanyaClark-h6h Місяць тому

    I go from lost numb to angry. He passed away 10/18 he was only 50. I didn’t cry at his viewing have not been coping with his loss well at all. I dissociate and go into my own little world. I’ve been trying to get out and around others, when I do that it’s so exhausting. I’m planning on going back to work tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’m ready I’m forcing myself to though because I know it’s what he’d want he wouldn’t want me to stay shutdown and the mess I am right now. Everyone keeps asking what they can do and saying we’re here for you, it’s not that I don’t appreciate them it’s that no one is him and no one knows what I’m going though other than my aunt and she’s been the only person close to me that I’ve been able to connect with since he passed. I’m so grateful for her and she was so close to my husband. Sorry for rambling on and on. It’s isolating and lonely.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      I can relate to all of what you are thinking and feeling! I have so much info, just watch the videos on this channel, and feel free to apply to join our supportive FB group as well. facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow and if you aren't ready to return to work, ask for some more time. Sometimes keeping busy can help, but sometimes it only adds to the stresses- only you can decide when you are ready.

  • @tiffanyalexander-davis8989
    @tiffanyalexander-davis8989 6 місяців тому +1

    I am happy to have come across this video. Everything you said is spot on. I am 43 years old in early grief; my wife passed 5 weeks ago and I'm absolutely in the broken and the angry phase, extremely pissed off at God and I hate feeling this way. I hate the person this is changing me into. I have tons of support, however as you said, most ppl haven't experienced this at my age. So, the responses I get are so annoying and frustrating. I try not to be rude but no one gets it. 😢😢 How do you go on after losing your soul mate and the love of your life, completely unexpectedly. I just have no desire to be here anymore. ❤ I have books that I'm starting to read and a journal a friend gave me; I suppose I will start writing. Thank you so much. So sorry for your loss as well. 😢

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  6 місяців тому

      Join our FB group for more support, and download my free journal templates to help with the writing- it will help! www.onehappywidow.com/journal

  • @rosebaker1104
    @rosebaker1104 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for this video, it nice to know that what I am feeling is normal and others have been through this. I’m at 2 years now and it was a sudden, unexpected death that haunts me . I think the worst part of it now is the loneliness and melancholy sadness. My journal has been my life line which I write in it everyday,sometimes several times. You are an inspiration 💞🇨🇦

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      So sorry for your lost sweetie

  • @kirkb2286
    @kirkb2286 11 місяців тому

    I’m so glad I found this channel. My wife of 32 years died exactly 2 months ago today. This is the best video that I have found for me. Everything you said is exactly the truth. Thank you so much

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  11 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and for sharing your feedback

  • @dorislacaze8475
    @dorislacaze8475 Рік тому +4

    Wow you started your videos when I needed them so much my journey in widowhood started January 11, 2021 and when I found your first video it helped me so much I didn’t feel so alone and every time I watch your newest video I again feel your words to my soul , thank you so much , today is my 2 yr journey and it has been a hard week and horrible day , I got up and did life even though I wanted to stay in bed and cover Ky head and let the world go by today . I think this year is going to be hardest year, the first year I was in a fog and don’t even remember most of it . Again thank you for all your kind words thoughts and understanding ❤🙏

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      Thanks for watching, and for sharing your feedback. I am proof of you for getting out of bed, even if it was just to “do life” for that day. Some days, that’s all we have in us! Praying for better days to come for you. There will always be sad, difficult days…but as we go through our grief journey, we hope for the good days to outnumber the bad. And I know the journey is long, and never truly has a conclusion. Praying for you #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @pamelalove8642
    @pamelalove8642 Рік тому +1

    Today makes 3 months since my husband passed. I am 41 with 3 kids and you are correct we have met.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m sorry for your fresh loss. If your kids are still at home, my biggest advice would be to get them I to therapy, even before they show signs of needing it. I wish I had done it sooner for my own children, but I can’t turn back the clock now. Also, if you are a believer, send them to faith-based therapy. I found that the secular therapists in our area were very eager to push agendas that were not always grief-related…and as impressionable as they are when they are young and hurting, they picked up some ideologies that they wouldn’t have otherwise (again, just my opinion…and at the end of the day we can only do what we think is best for our babies!) #widfam

  • @evelynkaiser8175
    @evelynkaiser8175 Рік тому +3

    Your comments are so spot on. It’s like you are reading my mind and heart. 💕
    I’ve done grief counseling through Better Help and it was nice but you help me so much more.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching, and for your feedback #widfam

  • @jackiebushable
    @jackiebushable 5 місяців тому

    I have just found you. My world changed 4 weeks ago when my husband passed away suddenly

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      I’m so sorry you are on this journey. I hope the other videos might help as well.

  • @caroljohnston8006
    @caroljohnston8006 Рік тому +1

    Am experiencing all the things you've discussed. 20 weeks out and feel lost.

  • @giselefelder5555
    @giselefelder5555 11 місяців тому

    You see me as a young widow! I lost my husband of 15 years, childhood sweetheart 3 months ago. This is a very lonely place to be. Thank you for the content!

  • @shoban5037
    @shoban5037 7 місяців тому

    anticipatory grief.. I was certainly feeling that. My husband passed a month ago, and I wasn't surprised, just kind of in a place of, "it's finally happened", now everything is different.

  • @kriskriskris32
    @kriskriskris32 Рік тому +1

    I'm 8 years out and still struggling in many many ways. Most of the answers to my struggles involve going. I'm disabled and going is a difficult process. I'm not into social media. I can totally relate to all of the things you said. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but i don't have another 30 years to build the kind of trust that i lost when my husband died, and meeting people is difficult when you struggle to leave your house. But i did go to a grief share meeting this week. And i felt GUILTY because I'm STILL struggling after 8 years and all of the other people didn't have that kind of time under their belts. Most had suffered their loss within a year. It's not that i didn't relate to their pain because i was crying right along with them. I really don't want anyone to lose hope because I'm so far away from the date of my loss and still struggling. I'm not having as many bad days, and fewer REALLY bad days, but they still happen. My mind (and maybe my heart) is ready to reach out, but my physical body is crapping out on me. I'm 55 and longing to get out of the valley.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I felt the same way at my first grief share, at the time I was 5 years out and there I was bawling over his death and I felt like people would be filling their eyes, wondering why I was still so sad. It wasn’t that way all the time, but for some reason, talking in that environment triggered my grief that day. But moving forward I’m handling things ok.
      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @maryd8393
    @maryd8393 Рік тому +2

    Leo you are looking better since you started teaching!!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Oh, the thumbnail pic is old, from over a year ago lol. #widfam

    • @maryd8393
      @maryd8393 Рік тому

      @@OneHappyWidow no I meant in your live video. You look better. Not so tired and stressed as you did the end of Aug!

  • @grandmasue2892
    @grandmasue2892 Рік тому +2

    Another great video, Leo! I found your UA-cam channel about a month after I lost my hubby of 40 years unexpectedly. I am 8 months out now and in a much better place emotionally, well most days but tears will crop up when I least expect them. You and the people in your wonderful Facebook group are literally a God-send to me. Everyone has been so kind and supportive. I don't think I would have come this far forward without you all! Now, I try to pass on what I have learned and experienced to others. Knowing I'm not alone in this journey has been my saving grace. Thank you again, Leo, for starting this and all of your time and effort. You are making a difference in hundreds of lives!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      What a wonderful compliment, and I agree about our wonderful FB group, they are such a wonderful group of kind people! Having days when tears sneak up on us is totally normal and expected. Thank you so much for your feedback- it helps me to keep going, knowing that others can feel less alone by me sharing my experiences with others. #widfam

  • @garys1167
    @garys1167 Рік тому

    It’s been almost a year for me. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster up and down. I would say you hit the nail on my head. Thank you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and for sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @beckythebarber
    @beckythebarber Рік тому +3

    I'm a non widowed person who is greatly benefiting your videos. It's preparing me for when I go Saturday to help my widowed friend go through her husband's items. Thank you for sharing your testimony.
    DO YOU HAVE ANY VIDEOS FOR FRIENDS OF THE SURVIVORS (how to be helpful, what to or what not to say)?

  • @rubywilliams8965
    @rubywilliams8965 Рік тому

    Hi! 👐This is my third video with you. Thank you for sharing what I have been going through and am still going through. My husband of 42 years, passed away last year in August. It was quite sudden. One moment he seemed ok after his first chemotherapy session and in the next moment .. but within days, he was in the ICU. A few weeks later, he was gone and I had lost my one and only love.
    If not for my faith in Jesus Christ, I would have given up hope of ever seeing light in the dark void that engulfed me.
    Thank you for opening up, expressing all these feelings and challenges that are often so difficult to put in words and only those who have gone through, will understand. God bless you!🙏

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and age if your feedback #widfam

  • @hilkkahirvonen4831
    @hilkkahirvonen4831 Рік тому +1

    First time as a Widow 😢
    Last year as anticipatory grief woman!

  • @healthiabee3832
    @healthiabee3832 9 місяців тому

    You are a good woman Leo

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  9 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback!

  • @shoban5037
    @shoban5037 7 місяців тому

    We lived in a motorhome in Arizona. I knew when the time came for him to pass, I was going to have to move back to another state. I had some really great help. Now, I'm here in a relative's home, waiting for some repairs to the motorhome, and I just can't see it get done fast enough. Time is just dragging, despite my wonderful relative's help and compassion. I feel kind of guilty about that. I've lost sight of who I am in this new paradigm.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  7 місяців тому

      Maybe you are stuck there for a reason, for the benefit of someone else. Try to focus on the present, and let go of the timeline you have set for yourself. Praying for you!

  • @lizzymurray6590
    @lizzymurray6590 Рік тому +4

    How'd you get inside my head ? I think I am in "the valley" right now, I am glad to have found your channel and Facebook Community. I am coming up on 4 months, It's hard, so very hard x

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      Most of us go through at least one of these phases, if not all! My Grief Pivot course would be a good resource for you in this phase: www.griefpivotcourse.com thanks for watching #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @shonniegilbreath8547
    @shonniegilbreath8547 Рік тому +1

    Thank you!

  • @janelleblair8410
    @janelleblair8410 Рік тому +1

    Going through alot of the first few months feelings thank you

  • @hildamasitise5201
    @hildamasitise5201 Рік тому

    Trying to help others so they know what to expect

  • @marilynsabatino2674
    @marilynsabatino2674 Рік тому

    I am in the beginning of year two and it is harder than the beginning for all the reasons you talk about 😢 your videos really help❤

  • @hildamasitise5201
    @hildamasitise5201 Рік тому

    2yrs experience
    Went through a lot of your experience

  • @debbiecooper6095
    @debbiecooper6095 Рік тому +3

    It will be 4 years on January 9th since I lost my husband. I feel so raw still so much of the time. It still feels fresh. I’m not really sure if I am making progress or not?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      If you don’t feel like you’re making progress, maybe it’s time for some professional support? Praying for you #widfam

  • @irenemojocoa
    @irenemojocoa Рік тому +2

    My husband passed away on November 28 💔 He was in the Navy for 20 years. Everyday is a struggle for me, he is the love of my life ❤ I miss him so much 😢

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry for your fresh loss. The holidays were probably a blur for you. If you aren’t in our group, we have a great one: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

    • @irenemojocoa
      @irenemojocoa Рік тому

      @@OneHappyWidow thank you Leo. Yes I tried to join the Facebook group but it’s still showing pending membership. Looking forward in connecting with others who have gone through this journey.

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

    • @irenemojocoa
      @irenemojocoa Рік тому

      @@Garyshelton17 thank you 🙏

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      @@irenemojocoa you're welcome how is your day going so far today

  • @myraloftis-ed1mv
    @myraloftis-ed1mv Рік тому

    Thank you dear lady. I'm 4 mos a widow.. I hate that word. My house makes nosies at night. My husband had restless legs and I can hear him in my mind at night walking up and down our hall. Wanting to help him but couldn't. Days are long nights are longer, but I'm trying to be better. Getting back to sewing but my back hurts and just dealing. 12-8-2023

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry #widfam. Get a good chair with good cushion and you’ll get used to the sitting at the sewing machine. It’ll keep your mind occupied.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching

  • @sharonlee5294
    @sharonlee5294 Рік тому +1

    1st time here. Became widow April 30, 2023. So lost without him. (Dementia). He was 80, I am 78. 55 yrs married

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Feel free to join our FB group at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

    • @sharonlee5294
      @sharonlee5294 Рік тому

      @@OneHappyWidow still says pending

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      So sorry for your lost my dear 💔 it's so hard to believe we won't be waking up in the morning to see our love ones in side by side with us

  • @anewbeginning9778
    @anewbeginning9778 Рік тому +2

    8 months into this new life, that I don't understand, ye
    s you know me.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @jericamcbride3659
    @jericamcbride3659 Рік тому +1

    My husband passed away on March 27, 2023. It is very fresh. We were married for 12.5 years. He had been hospitalized since Dec. 5, 2022. I really thought he was coming home. I don't know how to be anymore. I am 46. He was 48.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry for your fresh grief. Thanks for sharing with us. Feel free to join our FB group at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      So sorry for your lost I bet God knows what is best

  • @rougesh8940
    @rougesh8940 Рік тому +6

    My husband died at 31 it's been a year😢 our baby is 18nonths now. It's been hell... My mother in law kicked us out... It still hurts so much😢I feel numb all the time

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +3

      Family members can really turn on you after your loss. Prayers for you during this tough phase! #widfam

    • @sharonlee5294
      @sharonlee5294 Рік тому +1

      That is horrible. Dosent your minlaw care about her grandchild?

    • @rhinahirina4038
      @rhinahirina4038 Рік тому

      So sorry . Some in laws can be super nasty. Especially those who were old enough to get married but never got married.

    • @susanwanjiru5734
      @susanwanjiru5734 8 місяців тому

      Thanks for sharing.This has demystified my case two years ago.His family were the most nasty people I have experienced in my life.

  • @saraklassen2080
    @saraklassen2080 6 місяців тому

    I'm 37 and my husband passed away 6 months ago. It really is a very lonely place to be. We have 4 small children aged 12-2.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  6 місяців тому

      You certainly have your hands full! Praying for you #widfam

  • @melpatton4731
    @melpatton4731 Рік тому

    Hi hun. I've lost my partner of 22 years in a work accident a few weeks ago. I'm in my 50s and he's younger than me. Finding it so difficult. Missing him so much. Not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      You are taking one day at a time and figuring out how to survive each day as it comes. Right now, you are dealing with lots of paperwork and legal stuff probably. This is a tough time for us, so be kind to yourself! Feel free to join our FB group and here’s a checklist for you: www.onehappywidow.com/contact

  • @theresaward1758
    @theresaward1758 Рік тому +2

    It has been 4 years since my husband passed away. I haven't hit the mad stage ( is that normal) and now I'm having a very hard trying to figure out who I'm am without him. I am now engaged and my fiance wants me to be me but I don't know who that is!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +1

      I didn’t have a big mad stage, I feel like I kind of skipped over it. Maybe my realistic nature, as I wouldn’t really know who to be mad at? Not everyone goes through every stage/phase, so maybe you won’t either. If your fiancé loves you, he must already know the you that’s in there- and widowed people are always broken in some way, always trying to put out pieces back together. Thanks for sharing #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @kathylaho3344
    @kathylaho3344 10 місяців тому

    Lost my husband Jan 12, 24 so hard. I was his care giver his journey started Dec. 19, 2022 was in the hospital once a month except Sept 2023 he was in twice. I wasn’t prepared to say goodbye

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  10 місяців тому

      I’m so sorry for your fresh loss #widfam. We never are truly prepared to say goodbye, even when we know it’s coming

  • @moreenncube7131
    @moreenncube7131 Рік тому +1

    As of me nothing makes sense in my life anymore. I have things I used to value in my life but not anymore since I lost my hubby and son two weeks apart
    Being alone and quite has been my new thing.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your compound grief- multiple losses has to be overwhelming. Thanks for watching- my prayers are with you! #widfam

  • @alexasemi4677
    @alexasemi4677 Рік тому +1

    I m a fresh window and 46 and it’s a lonely place to be … 😔

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Yes, it is...not many of us in that age range! #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому +1

      I bet he's proud of you wherever he is up there

  • @nancyculhanehoag7936
    @nancyculhanehoag7936 Рік тому +1

    My husband & I was married 52 years. He came home from work and was having trouble walking with his leg. I said gee maybe we should go and have it checked out. We went, never found out what was wrong, the Dr. gave him 3 meds, it stopped his heart, they got it started but it killed his brain. He was in ICU for 90 days. We heard of another hospital that stimulates the brain ( clinging on to hope}!!! He could only be there for 16 days, than they were shipping him to Ohio! Florida didn't want him because he couldn't breath on his own, kidneys failing, not enough oxygen to legs. I finally signed papers , giving him his wings to be free! My heart is broken!

  • @kathyarmstrong6465
    @kathyarmstrong6465 Рік тому

    My husband died by suicide nearly 2yrs ago still missing him a lot

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry #widfam. I understand how much you can miss them!

  • @sharonwatkins9249
    @sharonwatkins9249 Рік тому +2

    It's been a 1 yr since I lost my husband yes u know me

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Sharon, you made it though the first of all the milestones. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us also! #widfam

    • @Garyshelton17
      @Garyshelton17 Рік тому

      I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort

  • @ConnieEsckelson-f3b
    @ConnieEsckelson-f3b 4 місяці тому

    A lot of them and I also have a lot of why’s my husband took his life

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback

  • @mcjohnsonsgirl
    @mcjohnsonsgirl 5 місяців тому

    How am I supposed to go on? Do I want to go on?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      We take a day at a time. And most of us don’t want to be living without our love, but we don’t get that option anymore, so we do the work to figure out how to do it anyway. If you find yourself having thoughts of self-harm, please reach out and call 988, which is the national hotline.

  • @marymuscat7482
    @marymuscat7482 Рік тому +1

    I lost my husband 2 mths ago, i am missing him so much i feel my life us just empty now 😢😢😢😢

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I’m so sorry, I know this fresh grief is so hard! Feel free to join our Facebook group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

  • @nanceenurse
    @nanceenurse 7 місяців тому

    It's harder than I ever thought it would be! 100 times more. And, the dumb things people say...oh boy. Maybe they just aren't connected that much to their spouses to have an idea about what the loss is to those who were? Or, so removed from the idea of death and loss that they can't even fathom how it will be for them?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  7 місяців тому

      It’s hard to imagine something so traumatic until it actually happens. Even then, it takes time for our minds to realize it.

  • @dtylice
    @dtylice 11 місяців тому

    Today is my 73rd day as a widow. I’ve learned grief is a sentence with commas but no period.

  • @vedrakuca
    @vedrakuca Рік тому

    I am at Depression stage how to overcome this stage

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      It takes work and a new mindset. It also depends on how long you have been there. The Grief Pivot Course might help: www.griefpivotcourse.com

    • @vedrakuca
      @vedrakuca Рік тому

      @@OneHappyWidow My husband died 7months ago from consequence of bizarre sports accident playing football while kept innocent in prison.

    • @vedrakuca
      @vedrakuca Рік тому

      I am from Croatia

  • @shoban5037
    @shoban5037 7 місяців тому

    I really want to grieve in private.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  7 місяців тому

      This is normal- we are vulnerable and don’t usually want people to see us in this state.

  • @emmawats5467
    @emmawats5467 Рік тому

    Your link doesn't work.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      I am switching web servers, so I should be back up and running this summer. Thanks! #widfam

  • @humbleDAD
    @humbleDAD Рік тому +1

    Would you be open to having a conversation about Grief on your platform?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      Sure...nearly all of my videos are about grief and how it affects our lives. Thanks for watching!

  • @myraloftis-ed1mv
    @myraloftis-ed1mv 4 місяці тому

    Going into 2yr. I am mad, lonely. How do I go on. I journal then cry . Everyday. My husband ,82 said he didn't think he'd be around to take care of me. I brushed it off saying Dr will help why didn't I ask why you think that? He had stage 4 kidney disease BUT it was Liver Disease causing all problems why didn't we know. All Drs we went to.. heavens!!! Why why! I don't want him bk so bad off but healthy. I want to relive some good yrs so he can tell me what to do. EMS took him to Hospital. Never talked to me again !!
    Why my mind didn't JUST THINK WHAT HE WAS SAYING.!!?? MYRA

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому

      I’m so sorry you are suffering through this journey.

  • @katiethiele6805
    @katiethiele6805 Рік тому

    I’m coming up on the second anniversary of my husbands death. I’m trying to move on. I’ve met someone new. As I think of the possibility of getting married I realize I will move, sell our place( first husband’s dream) and I will leave everything of him to move into home of new spouse’s deceased wife. He is a farmer so something different is not an option. He has “S…..’s cabin, (with her name on it) “S…….’s this and that…”. How do I do this? I’m so torn. I don’t want to be alone. Help

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому +3

      I completely understand this- I married a widower also. We did not combine homes, but we did blend a family and it was an adjustment for sure. Evaluate if you are getting married just because you don’t want to be alone, or if you actually want to be with him. Sometimes widowed people have trouble moving forward in love, but other times I think widowers can understand our loss better because they have also been through it. Keep us posted and we will pray for clarity and peace in your decision!

  • @gordonkistler916
    @gordonkistler916 Рік тому

    I lost my wife March 24 2021 after 21 years of marriage, I had no support from friends or family, it was because I am a man and nobody gave a shit how I felt or was copping, it was like so sad too bad, see you latter.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Рік тому

      It is different with men than with women sometimes.