Divorce & Child Custody - Mufti Menk
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- Опубліковано 16 лис 2024
- Insta Live Sun 8/4/18
Topic : Divorce & Child Custody
Official Mufti Menk Audio Lecture Resources:
1. Website - goo.gl/0jJCZP
2. Android App: goo.gl/wsLk1l
3. iTunes Audio Podcast: goo.gl/QFnd6T
"...these children are not just yours or your spouses' but in actual fact they belong to Allah"
"...and Allah gave them to you to test you"
-so important!
It doesn't belong not only Allah but the biological parents
@@cagatayocal7049 they dont belong to the parents. You can't own your children like property. They are your responsibility until adulthood and you are their guardian.
@Imran 1 is allah real. I grown up conflicted with beliefs. Are we truly eternal after wards. Are we living a illusion. Are we real.
@Imran 1 I do not see wind.
I see a material world.
Yes
There needs to be more Leaders and Scholars like @muftimenk. May Allah give him good health and a long life. We need speakers like him!
ya Allah give me sabr in these dark days. my little angel❤
Ameen
Ameen.
Ameen
Aameen
I'm going through same as you are. I feel the words of yours and made me cry
My friend was divorced. Her ex-husband allowed her to be homeless on the streets with the child. She had custody until the child was maybe 6 or thereabouts. Father apostates, mother devotes her life to the will of Allah. She gets married and the father finally takes interest in custody. The courts rule in the favour of the father, a drinking gambling wretch, over a pure sweet maternal mother. Everyone labeled her an extremist as she was niqabi and no one understands. Even the school discriminated. The courts, the schools, no one was interested in protecting that child from danger and when she tries to call him the father ignores the calls. So so sad!
Help her. Get her a solicitor
For the sake of Allah I would marry her because I know what it is like to be the child of a single mother.May Allah grant all single mothers,muslim and non muslim alike,ease,guidance and Jannatul Firdaus.
So sad and dishonest situation.
Have her read Surah Qasas, this helped me with my situation, these all are tests from God. May she have patience and strength during this time....There is a dua (28:24) in that surah that asks for help and blessings from our Lord. God willing she is granted ease after her hardship....
My husband has not give any help for 2 years now. I left him 2 years ago because he would argue all the time we're he did it in front of the kids now my older children don't want to talk or see him. Even after being away from us for 2 years he's still the same what do I do ? I'm so confused please advise me
As a divorced women I will take this step in being mature and let my ex husband to see his kids involving my mother for the middle party !! And leave the rest to allah swt
This is me mashaallah may Allah guide you and increase your imaan
A year later update didn’t work
Excellent discussion but how many couples practice good behavior during a divorce ? It’s usually a power struggle
Diane Mughal That depends on the level of faith/imaan a person has.☺
This video totally helps those people who needs the real guidance about what to do next after divorce, including for the suffered child who don't really know who to blame on. Thank you Mufti 👍🏼
-from: The clueless and helpless child-
yaaa my dear child...
bt as a women
how long she can suffer frm her lonelyness ...
where she kill her womenhood to save her motherhoood😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Sheikh plz talk about marriages more and more...issues like infidelity, lack of providing, lack of being intimate or overly intimate that it hinders ones capability to follow day to day routines. Plz address issues like these. JazakAllah e khair
@kalil AKA Benjamin Miles Perry perry what about infidelity?
Yes please talk about husbands with low libido and not having any sexual skills. This is so frustrating:(
@kalil aka Benjamin Miles perry there are brothers that remind the wife its her duty to please him when he wants,,,,granted there are rules but men tend to use it in their favor and wives are treated like property. wives have right same rights but its over looked. its a serious matter. far more serious than a quick sentence on a thread
As always Mufti on point and so timely may Allah bless you in abundance ameen
I really really like Mufti Menk. I find myself agreeing with hiim on most issues because he has a very pragmatic thoughts and really speaks to us as humans with problems and good and bad intentions.
People that are fortunate enough to have children together please don't forget that doing something bad to the other parent for whatever reason hurts the child. I was one of those children that got hurt. I sore and remember everything. I can also tell you when you as parents get in to your 60's & think to yourself what ever were we fighting about...you let go of it but that becomes someone's childhood. It wasn't around thank Allah when I was a child but PLEASE PLEASE don't post nasty things on social media about one another this will remain for ever! Your child will grow up to hate you and debate weather they want you to see there own children.
What happens if your husband is a narcissist and oversteps the boundaries set?
How did you work out with children and maintenance?
@Mansoor Haque People do convert brother. Also she is not spreading hate.
In my present life I like some Islamic scholars and you are the one of them may Allah bless u and your family and all your friend
Everything you say is beautiful and I hope more people will fallow the rules of Islam when it comes to children maintaining InshaAllah
May ALLAH swt protect us all from this major mishap (divorce) is our lives. And if it does happen, may it happen the way Mufti Menk explained..
Amin
May Allah SWT reward you mufti for every good I do from the moment I start following your lectures and learning from them.Ameen
I wish I could send this to my divorced parents
I am divorced. My exhusband after still 10 years later still comes into my home to visit the kids. Both my sons are autistic, so will live with me after adulthood. So I have to deal with him so much longer than just twenty years. Divorce is not easy and you still need to compromise and play nice. Insha Allah I can still do this.
May Allah bless you mufti menk
This wisdom is absolutely priceless. Many Thanks!
So many men need to hear this - so many of them think that in divorce they can take away the kids despite never having changed a nappy or fed their child when they were together
Some men will disappear after divorce like my dad 😔
kowthar cali not even after the divorce maybe even before u even were born or for no reason
Many of them... don't worry my brother... Allah is there..
SubhanAllah its excellent that mufti has provided so much details of the procedures after divorces. This should definitely discourage people from divorcing for silly reasons.
my ex has done everything that you have said NOT TO DO!!!! I still cry myself to sleep every night over all this ,,,but I remain strong to my faith,,,,,even if it hurts me I am trying to lead by example,,,but years years I have lost with my children simply because I got out of a bad marriage,,,alhumdulilah
May Allah give your heart peace and happiness Aameen!
This topic is very important for my ex husband and I. Thank you so much for that beautiful information. May Allah grant us all understanding.
Excellent advice...and it should be dealt this way.
Poor fathers owes mothers the minimum.
The scholars also take an opinion that the child with understanding decides by choosing which parent.
But what is this age?
Anyone who hasn't put their egos aside and been to the ends of the earth to fix things are pure evil and selfish, innocent children should not be collateral damage!!!!
SALAAM Mufti Menk
If Allah Swt in the Quran has said divorce is twice meaning you have 2 chances on taking your wife back how are some scholars saying there is evidence in the Quran that Allah Swt said if you say it 3 times you are divorced on the spot, isn't that the aim of shaitan to play and destroy houses, because i know for sure that Allah Swt is not mean, but very merciful to his creation
Most of men run away responsibility and when we want divorce that’s even good reason for them to run away but they don’t realise how ridiculous they are and sadly the kids can see that
May Allah SWT reward you and your family, aameen.
I will never stop my daughter to have contact with father but I will never accept to I give her custody to the father.My daughter will always stay with me In sha Allah
is this an ego thing? do you wan't Jannah or Jahanum?
@courtney M Lol feminist
divorce itself is a worst and disastrous thing, the ugliest thing ever. how can one keep on meeting with each other when the wife has been betrayed by the husband, and why shall she let the children meet her ex husband when he was least bothered about the children while he decided to divorce. when he never thought about the consequences the child and the spouse will have to bear & suffer because of his deed.
Why you assume that children belong to you only?
Allah is hearer. جزاك الله خيراً
Good speech. There is more divorce than there is marriage. A lot of people get married when they are not mentally ready or responsible for a marriage. Some get married as a convenience or for financial security but they will not admit that.
Mashaallah i really like to hear and see you very nice explaination allah bless u alwyz
Very correct statements @Mufti Menk all of them are based on common logic if of course, a person is able to control his/her feelings.
It's hard to speak kind of someone who cheated and neglected you and your kids. But I try. It seems no matter how much I suck it up, be kind, I get the punishment of my ex sins. He gets blessed and more blessed. It took ten years, but finally I am getting blessed too. It's hard. But selfishness and suck it up for peace does amazing things for the kids.
Please during the divorce support your kids ! Never fucking blame them as the reason , it’s the parents matter not the kids ! Divorce is tough for everyone not just you
Sir I am a married woman and has one year old baby girl.when i happened to read a hadith from prophet that a woman whose first child is a girl is a lucky woman. I was always interested in observing women with daughters thinking that they are blessed according to the prophet's words and I look at them respectfully now years passed and i had my first baby a girl and was overjoyed to be a part of lucky women category and remembered allah and prophet gratefully
I wish i could have married a nice guy so that my family life last forever. Now for me separation has become a necessity and heart breaking. Sir if you are seeing this comment please make a video about this issue and cure. 🙏🙏🙏🙏if i could brian wash him to keep both parents and wife equally satisfied then no need of all the chaos
Jazakallah thank u after listen to ur lecture i send to him and he start to change he has take some responsible mashaallah Alhamdulillah
Astafuallah nowadays any little petty thing couples divorce. Nobody these days have tolerance. Lol I find it funny how many newlyweds spend 1000000 dollars on fancy weddings 👰 but within two years they are ready to split up. Humans can sometimes be worse than the shayateen WALLHI
The Baraka is lost when huge amounts of money is spent on the wedding.
Mostly it's not the fault of the boy or the girl who is to get married, but the fault of the elders who pressure them on spending this much so that everything looks like a fairytale and guests don't get upset over the food but neglecting the main two people who are actually getting married.
Why are there so many irresponsible husbands? It all starts from home! Those who are lucky to have children, please work together with your spouse, prepare the children to be good husbands, fathers, wives, mothers according to quran and sunah
Dear
How can we reduce divorce rate, my suggestion is before marriage there should be a time gap and advice classes need both of them and they to be sharing thoughts in presence of a experienced person
Am a new muslim... and Like Islam because of the logic and level of practicality present in this. But somewhere I get confused... That in many aspects males have more powers than women.. In terms of divorce the male can give to the wife but the wife cannot.? And the system of halala? If the question arises in others mind also please like and if someone can explain the solution please comment..
My marriage broke up before my child is born. My husband was liar and did not care about me neither about the child. I asked for vitamines to support pregnancy, healthy food and hospital fee he neglected it to me. I do not want to put my child anywhere close to him. He did not give me mahr or any support. I cannot imagine how my child will meet someone who said when you lose this child after you go out from here that is not my problem.
When Allah ordered Ibrahim (AS) to leave Hajra and Ismael, did he also decree "maintenance" I came here to learn Islamic ruling not Mufti's opinion. Anyone else came here to learn what Islamic ruling is?
Jazak Allah Khair Brother for uploading this very informative and very important video.
Mashallah jazakallah khairan. Everyone needs to hear this
Asalam aleikum jazzakhala khyran sheikh this advice was very much needed for the new generation kid's. Very beautifully explained.
SubhanAllah ..May Allah grant you good health ..JazakAllah
Hi sir i m gracy from south India,i m a big fan of Dr.Zakir naik ,now i m waching u r vedio continusely in various topic but i have a big confution in my life i belive in Allah he is the only god .now i m thinking about divorce because before marriage i told to my mom that i m in love but they dint accepted saying various reason,but i m not happy with this life ,i got married in 2017 almost we are going to complete two years,still we are not getting understan each other so i m thinking to give divorce and remarrage again to my x ,i dont have babies and my husband also know about my x, i dont have father, so my mom decided to do marrage in her relation so she decided this my marrage when i m at the age of 14 but we got married in 22 between this 8years we started talking at the age 18/19 i come to know that we r not understanding each other so i told to my mom but she told now its too late,alredy it become 8year everybody know that u r going to marry him so i started my life according to my mom so pls help me i cant understand what to do i cant able to forget my x so pls give me some suggestion pls sir i m in very sevear headache about this.
The woman I'm with for 13 years now, doesn't ever have the biological father around. He left after 1 year and never came back. He's NEVER been around. Just Me when she became 8 years old. Still to this day he's not around. Yes he's still alive I found him on fb.
May Allah Gives you more rewards
Masha Allah!!! May Allah the Almighty grant you goodness in the {Dunya} as well in the {Aakira} Ameeen.....My sheikh your family and the (Ummah) of Muhammad{s.a.w} Ameeeen...
When I'm small, I was thinking why my parents get separation. Then when I'm be a mother 2 children with pregnant, I decided to divorce. Which I think maybe this is the right way for me and kids.
After all happened. I think why i growing without father in my side even why my kids must feel same like what i feel.
May Allah guide you through these difficult times.
Sheikh, I so value what you said. I am currently separated from my husband and during this time, he only calls when he needs money from me. He does not care to speak to our daughter or even acknowledge things like her birthday, which are meaningful to children. In March he asked me for money again and because I denied him, he swore he would never speak to me again if I don’t help him out. Since then, he has not called or reached out to his daughter or myself. He does not support his daughter either and I do not speak ill of her father but he needs to step up and be there for her irrespective of our differences. I don’t know how to open his eyes to this. Your advice would be appreciated.
I been divorced and have no kids but still I will go back even If I was being thrown in fire by her on a daily basis. I wish someone had told me about life after divorce. No one tells how much you’re protected. It’s no lie when they tell you it’s half of your dean. I pray for my ex all the time.
Can’t you marry someone else?
Asalamu aleikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuhu thank you for the Advice may Allah guide us inn shaa Allah
Mufti sahab ,, problem is ...my husband want to give me divorce just b.coz his first wife forcing him to leave me .....I want to ask ...what islam n shariat says about divorce by force ....plz do let me know soon ....I'm in trouble...
سُبْحَانَ اللهِ Excellent Advises, Allaah accept and grant you more. آمين يا رب العالمين
Mufti please advice for people who where one of family members is drug addict ,and we try to save that person in many ways for many years but nothing change.What we should do with our life in this situation?
If you've tried to help that person and it didn't work, then remember that it's not your fault. All you can do is try to help and pray for their betterment. In the end, the decision to change depends on that person and there's nothing you can do unless that person decides to change himself / herself.
Lot of good advice and council is available, in this case It would be better if mufti backs his advice with proper reference from hadis
What if the husband doesn't take care of the child after their divorce. Like, he never phone calls., he never asks his child. He never suggests for a school for his child., what should the mother do in this situation.. When she is happy with her new spouse.?
Which planet u come from?
Your explanation very good. Thank
Good points any spouse who is mature would follow these points, my sons father complains doesn't see his son enough and when I allow him to see him bad mouths me to him says things like wants to kill me, my son tells me straight away yet he lies and we argue now I'm confused to what I can do I can't trust his father at all
amz Star Please tell this information to a local understanding imam or sheikh. So they can knock some sense into men like this. You can seek professional help. Please don’t let this kind of abuse to happen to you. This is outright abuse! Contact local islam marriage council. And non islam marriage council too for legal support. Also read a dua that is against oppressive people. Read it everyday day and night. May Allah help you x
Good speech sheikh
What if the mother is the earning party and she pays the husband some money monthly..how can the husband stake a claim on the child who is not even able to provide for the wife and child
Awesome, always learn new things after watching ur videos 👍👍
the way he described the responsibility towards a divorced parents isn't islamic his talking like the western rules. Once divorced u become nonmahram to each other there should not be any communication btw the spouse if u want to know about the kids u gotta call the ex's family not her or him. And father has to provide for her according to his income..
JazakumuLLah khairan kaseeran to sheikh Mufti Menk , and the whole team for uploading this you tube .....it was a much needed guidelines and advice , especially points given in the Light of shariah and Ethical view too, and hope in near future more could be shared about points to help a mom in the upbringing of these kids esp. pre-teens and how to train them islamically while their biological father isn't very keen on it .Naturally kids meeting and spending time with either parent learn/adopt habits of either parents they spend time with .....please advice as soon as possible n best to upload on FB ..it's easy to save n share with others needing these advices.
So the wife/mother doesnt have any responsibility, while She is married… because the child belongs to the father so he is responsible for the upbeinging in every manner, yet as soon as they are divorced the father Pretty much has 0 rights over his own child? …. What am I missing here?
The father is always responsible for ther upbringing, if they seperate the children will still spend nights at his house
A beautiful word mashalla brother it's a sad thing when you have family in-laws that doesn't even want there son wife to be part of there family only if they had there way they keep are son and have me never be part of there family they think I'm not good enough for there family no matter how hard I tryed and gave help in food and when they were sick I gave from my heart to each of my family in-laws I believe Allah teachers us we are all the same we came into the world the same and we go back to the almighty please pray from my family in-laws there old and set in there ways 😍🌹🌷🧕❣️💕🥰🤩
Thats one reason I don’t want to have kids in my marriage... in case it ends in divorce there will be no drama ,no children,it’s easy and fast. Plus children are a lottttt of work,not sure it’s worth it.
salaam alwakium please share the stories of prophets in detail.
ماء شاء الله. Very good advise. Thanks
Wa alaykum salam. Here is a playlist from a Ramadhan series about stories of the Prophets (may peace be upon them all).
Ramadan 2011 - Stories of the Prophets - Mufti Menk : ua-cam.com/play/PL65076CAB3310C110.html
Hope that helps :)
Might be divorced again the 2nd time. Pls make dua for me
well said ..mashaallah ! may Allah swt bless you immensely ..ameen ya rab !!
Assalamoalaikom....masaAllah mufti...good topic.. sukran...InsaAllah... Ameen...Allah bless us all....
What is the rule about the children? Are they staying with the mother or the father?
Assalamu alaikum Mufti sir...
I have one question that if somebody have to say talaq to his spouse is this necessary to use same word "Talaq" ?
Or when fight between husband and wife if husband says to spouse let's break-up our relation is it enough ?
Divorce
3=3
Or 3=1
؟?
Thank Mufti menk... I was searching for solution..
An absent father😭😭😭😭
My ex wife she give me a hard time and dont aloud me too see my kids.i let it go and said to her wen you wanna let me see our kids let me know.i dont wanna lowyer or something.i just wanna see My kids.we have war.but kids are innocent.i hope i just can see my kids inscha ALLAH aamiin
U hv right to see your kids even against her will
@@mariyamn445 but man can e reject their rights that's y she refused or any other things even me he refusing everything now its not fight between us also kids
ماء شاء الله.very good advice. Thanks
بعددعمری انت کویتی ؟؟
What is better to stay in marriage for children's sake Or leave the marriage to escape emotional abuse. How does Islam advice about it? Broken home with kids and lack of provision or abusive husband with kids and provision for them? Where to go? Along with the stigma that women faces and also her children face for coming from broken homes, especially marriageable daughters.
What about when that women keeps her children away from you, says they are not yours? Even if you beg to see them and you miss the first few years of their beautiful lives and when you finally accept your faith she wants you to be a part of their lives?
This women has always used her kids as a tool to hurt her husband and I cannot tolerate her anymore to an extent where it’s not safe for me to be around her. What then?
You need to work out an agreement possibly with intermediiaries. I don't know where you are, but if you are in the UK,US or such, there are mediation options. You can also legally applly for joint custody of your kids. If you live nearby that would be ideal as the kids can just come and go between the two of you. No parent has the right to keep another parent from seeing their kids. Its just not right unless said parent is abbusive, viiolent, an adiict, or otherwise a riisk or unfiit. Speak to a lawyer who specializes in custody. You shouldn't have to beg.
my evil husband cheated n gt married behind my back second wife n left me wd 3 kids all on my own.im stuk wedr to gt divorce or not.fr sake of kids im not doing khula yet cz i know another msn will not treat them right.do dua for me plz i get out of this hard time.ameen
What if husband ill treats wife becoz of in laws .is she permissible to divorce?
any form of abuse, LEAVE
Islam does not allow abuse or oppression.
Very knowledgeable MashaAllah
And i have been waiting for things getting well in fact mutually understood with my ex-husband who is not ready to take things positively also he tried to take. My child away from me abused me my family harassed. My sisters in front of many people when asked for justice from elders they r forcing me to get back to that person, whom i have nothing in my heart when decided for a divorce my ex-husband does not wants to take any responsibility of the child well being. N my parents know coed. Me. Out as they also do not want to mingle in between theses issues until i decide to stay with him i m awaiting a positive aspect yet
Allahuma Aameen🙏may Allah reward you mufti a very good reward 🌷🌷
You are a blessing. ..and very calm. .🌹🌹🌹
are you kuwaiti??
@@sabrisabri4825 from Kuwait? ?
@@samsardar
where are you from original
@@samsardar
Im from iran and love me kuwaiti mrs
@@sabrisabri4825 Brazil. .I am a Reall Brasileira. ..
Brother mufti Menk please can I seek guidance for my situation separately
Best advice..jazakallah khair
What if the father is not pursuing on contacting his kids?
When a Muslim woman divorce,does she must cover in front of her ex husband and observe all rules such as not being alone with him? Do the children count as mahram? Thanks
Assalamoalaikom...masaAllah..mufti .sukran..good topic.. Allah..guide us all.
Thank u so much mey Allah reward u more i have ptoblem what if a father doesn't want to take his responsibility
Get authorities involved.
Canabay xbt only Nimanka Soomalidaan masuuliyada qaadan caalamka kale masuuliyada wayqatan xitaa ayagoo gaalo ah.
We have to control our mouth and feelings!
Aslm everyone what abt if i grow my children in Islamic way and the dad n in law family members doesn’t pray or believe in Islam , so can I protect the kids from going with them???
Thanks
Shi Abdulla then you take it up with Islamic shariah council. They can judge that you are better for the kids deen then their biological father