Wow, really related to this. I'm really worried about how the incoming admin is going to impact a lot of things, but especially with healthcare and travel. I opted to changed my gender marker to line up with how I'm typically gendered out and about as of last week; I opted to change my license first (in my area I'm able to do this without needing a doctor to sign off on anything), and now I'm currently updating the others. It's very sad honestly; if I thought the country would be safer in the next four years, I would pick X for my license rather than m or f 😞 But I'd rather be safe right now. For anyone questioning anything similar, I can't tell you what you should do for your documents, but will say if you do want to change any of your documents you should probably get started it on quickly, ideally so it's sorted before Jan 20 next year. I don't want to be negative but I can't imagine they'll make it easier to update your gender marker on various things. Passport should also be high on the list as it's a form of ID that's valid for a decade so it will last you beyond the next 4 years!
I ended up looking at common male names for the year I was born. I found something that was softer sounding that had good connotations. I also wanted to keep my initials. I chose a gender neutral variant of my birth name as my first name, which I use at work and for legal stuff. My partner, family, and friends all call me by my middle name. Btw I think Orion could be a cool name.
Celestial Matthew [Last Name] You can say you go by Celeste as a shorter version of the first name but your space-loving parents gave you a "normal" middle name as a backup. I also had to make the X-or-M decision, I went M with the thoughts that I wouldn't want an X to intefere with any borders and that having M on my records might finding alternative means of HRT easier.
i went a really long time using 2 different names, my chosen name for friends and my given name/birth name for safety. what helped me settle on my name was a nightmare i had where my given name was written on my tombstone. havent used my given name since and will have it legally changes as soon as i'm able to (looks like maybe some time next year)
Hey Celeste, thanks for your video, I really enjoyed it and can relate well as an agender person! I was reading these suggestions (Celestin, Celestial) by other people which I think would suit you well, and started to brainstorm as well 😅 I don't know much about linguistics and such but aren't words ending with an "a/e" generally more feminine whereas "o" would be considered more masculine; so, Celesto/Celestio might also work as a masc version of your lovely name! Hope you're feeling better soon :)
Thank you! You are correct, -o is usually a more masc-coded name suffix. I am considering and brainstorming all possibilities so I appreciate your input!
Hi Celeste. I am another Celeste. Before i changed my bame i had all kinds of crap like what you are talking about. Also love the name for the same reason.
I didn't realize Celeste was perceived as a woman's name, it always felt v neutral to me too. I haven't been on T consistently enough yet to be read as a man but I feel like even w more physical changes my (very feminine) deadname on my ID would just have me read as a post-name-change trans woman bc of my hairstyles. Im growing out my hair and I like wearing things like long box braids a lot. I'll be more visibly queer, and the fears that come along with that I feel like is subconsciously one reason I'm not so consistent w it tbh (tho it's mainly just ADHD lol). But I've felt my name didn't fit wayyy before I knew I was trans, and tried out different names over the years, sometimes w friends, sometimes just as self-insert characters in stories I'd write in grade school. My current name I got used to on facebook before using it irl, idk if that'd help me try out a name nowadays cause I don't be active on social media as much, but when I was, I think that was a great way to get used to it. Most felt like a costume of a name, likable but not me, but Charlie stuck & was a name that always felt v gender neutral to me, like Alex or Sam. Though sometimes people are surprised to not see a man when seeing my name before meeting me, I know it's not universally seen as neutral. Which is fine, I think I feel the same as you about being read as a man vs woman. And have had similar thoughts about a gender marker change. An X marker feels most accurate but even if we could match all our documents in FL with an X I wouldn't want to out myself in that way. Definitely don't want mismatched docs bc I don't wanna deal with any potential issues from that, extra verifications for this or that seems like such a hassle, I would just meltdown every time 😂 Ideally we just wouldn't need to put our gender on IDs, I genuinely don't even know why that's deemed necessary at all. Right now I've started the papers (again 😅) to change my name bc I've used this name for years now aside from legal paperwork, it's been overdue for the official change. But I'm not changing my gender marker, in my case I think it'd *create* more awkward situations at this point anyways - even with changing my name to Charlie, which people often assume is short for something else bc I'm perceived a woman.
I love the name Charlie! That's actually one I considered as a C name 😆 I went through a several-years-long phase in elementary school where I didn't like my name and was constantly trying to change it, and after that I ended up deciding I actually like it. So ever since then I haven't felt like I wanted to change it, even after I realized I was trans - until the last couple of years, anyway. Those were smart ways to try out names! I wish I had more time to do that, but it's kind of hard feeling pressured for time now. I guess I should have been thinking about this earlier 😕
@CelesteM yeah it really sucks to be pressed for time, you should have all the time you need :/ Though people are still gonna need name changes for reasons unrelated to gender, even if changing gender markers gets banned, so I feel like there's less time pressure for name changes, and if you did change it soon, you'd still be able to change it again down the line if you change your mind. Of course going through the whole process of changing documents is a whole ordeal and not free, but just a thought.
I'm older agender. I have resisted doing much in the way of transition because of my discomfort having gender be put first in line of my identities. I doubt I'll ever know if this was the right decision.
Ugh. I am sorry that you even have to think about changing your name since you like and relate to it or gender when neither option really feels correct for you. I can see why you would consider doing it due to safety issues, though. The world is kind of scary. Thanks for sharing your thoughts processes behind everything. My name and gender aren’t anything that I have ever had to be worried about. I have two sons, one is gay and the other is ACE. (Both also AuDHD) I really like to learn about other people’s experiences and perspectives to better understand people in general. If I were in a doctor’s office and your name was called and I saw you I would look as well but my thought would be “that guy has a really great name.”
Hi Celeste that is you who you are and no matter what you decide to do for safety. Deep down you know you are Celeste and are gender X (I hope this is the right terminology I'm 45 and my Transfriends are Female, Male, or Nonbinary but I know some people don't like the Nonbinary term either and I'm not sure what you prefer). I don't have any advice I too changed my name because of trauma and it never feeling right some people still dead name me and it hurts. So I can't imagine what its like for you to have a gender attachment to. A friend told me I was never my dead name I've always been Aria and that feels right to me. Just found your content and will keep checking in on it. Prayers (Or positive thoughts if you prefer) for you and all of us in the LGBTQ+ community.
Are you more attached to Celeste or your initials? ("Yes, my middle name is Celeste, the 'M' is silent. Haha.) I hope you find what makes you most happy. I was more attached to my initials than my name and chose a very similar masculine name. It suited me so well people caught on quickly. As I felt the pressure to quickly change my name, I rushed my middle name selection and I think I might have chosen better with time, but I can also appreciate the sense of urgency. I'm gonna stay in my lane about the gender marker thing as I'm "binary-lite" and the M suits me fine. I am anxious for all my trans sibs out there, especially those who resonate with an X. Stay safe. Stay strong. You rock.
Kind of both 😅 I dunno, it's not even that I'm "attached" to my initials, per se, I'm just used to them and have often used them to tag things as mine for years so it just seems like it will complicate things to change them. But that's kind of the case across the board, so I dunno. Thank you, and I appreciate your perspective!
Keep up the good work and stay safe 👍
Thank you so much for sharing what you’re experiencing and what your thoughts are on name changes and being read certain ways. ❤
❤️
Wow, really related to this. I'm really worried about how the incoming admin is going to impact a lot of things, but especially with healthcare and travel. I opted to changed my gender marker to line up with how I'm typically gendered out and about as of last week; I opted to change my license first (in my area I'm able to do this without needing a doctor to sign off on anything), and now I'm currently updating the others. It's very sad honestly; if I thought the country would be safer in the next four years, I would pick X for my license rather than m or f 😞 But I'd rather be safe right now.
For anyone questioning anything similar, I can't tell you what you should do for your documents, but will say if you do want to change any of your documents you should probably get started it on quickly, ideally so it's sorted before Jan 20 next year. I don't want to be negative but I can't imagine they'll make it easier to update your gender marker on various things. Passport should also be high on the list as it's a form of ID that's valid for a decade so it will last you beyond the next 4 years!
I ended up looking at common male names for the year I was born. I found something that was softer sounding that had good connotations. I also wanted to keep my initials. I chose a gender neutral variant of my birth name as my first name, which I use at work and for legal stuff. My partner, family, and friends all call me by my middle name.
Btw I think Orion could be a cool name.
Orion is a cool name.
Celestial Matthew [Last Name]
You can say you go by Celeste as a shorter version of the first name but your space-loving parents gave you a "normal" middle name as a backup.
I also had to make the X-or-M decision, I went M with the thoughts that I wouldn't want an X to intefere with any borders and that having M on my records might finding alternative means of HRT easier.
Celestiel? Sounds kinda bad-ass angelic.
That makes sense!
I don't actually like the name Matthew personally, but I'm thinking about some other M names I do like that would work similarly.
i went a really long time using 2 different names, my chosen name for friends and my given name/birth name for safety. what helped me settle on my name was a nightmare i had where my given name was written on my tombstone. havent used my given name since and will have it legally changes as soon as i'm able to (looks like maybe some time next year)
That's some pretty clear symbolism!
Hey Celeste, thanks for your video, I really enjoyed it and can relate well as an agender person!
I was reading these suggestions (Celestin, Celestial) by other people which I think would suit you well, and started to brainstorm as well 😅 I don't know much about linguistics and such but aren't words ending with an "a/e" generally more feminine whereas "o" would be considered more masculine; so, Celesto/Celestio might also work as a masc version of your lovely name!
Hope you're feeling better soon :)
Thank you! You are correct, -o is usually a more masc-coded name suffix. I am considering and brainstorming all possibilities so I appreciate your input!
Hi Celeste. I am another Celeste. Before i changed my bame i had all kinds of crap like what you are talking about.
Also love the name for the same reason.
In the same boat right now about the gender marker thing (I already changed my name)
I didn't realize Celeste was perceived as a woman's name, it always felt v neutral to me too.
I haven't been on T consistently enough yet to be read as a man but I feel like even w more physical changes my (very feminine) deadname on my ID would just have me read as a post-name-change trans woman bc of my hairstyles. Im growing out my hair and I like wearing things like long box braids a lot. I'll be more visibly queer, and the fears that come along with that I feel like is subconsciously one reason I'm not so consistent w it tbh (tho it's mainly just ADHD lol).
But I've felt my name didn't fit wayyy before I knew I was trans, and tried out different names over the years, sometimes w friends, sometimes just as self-insert characters in stories I'd write in grade school. My current name I got used to on facebook before using it irl, idk if that'd help me try out a name nowadays cause I don't be active on social media as much, but when I was, I think that was a great way to get used to it. Most felt like a costume of a name, likable but not me, but Charlie stuck & was a name that always felt v gender neutral to me, like Alex or Sam. Though sometimes people are surprised to not see a man when seeing my name before meeting me, I know it's not universally seen as neutral. Which is fine, I think I feel the same as you about being read as a man vs woman. And have had similar thoughts about a gender marker change. An X marker feels most accurate but even if we could match all our documents in FL with an X I wouldn't want to out myself in that way. Definitely don't want mismatched docs bc I don't wanna deal with any potential issues from that, extra verifications for this or that seems like such a hassle, I would just meltdown every time 😂
Ideally we just wouldn't need to put our gender on IDs, I genuinely don't even know why that's deemed necessary at all.
Right now I've started the papers (again 😅) to change my name bc I've used this name for years now aside from legal paperwork, it's been overdue for the official change. But I'm not changing my gender marker, in my case I think it'd *create* more awkward situations at this point anyways - even with changing my name to Charlie, which people often assume is short for something else bc I'm perceived a woman.
I love the name Charlie! That's actually one I considered as a C name 😆 I went through a several-years-long phase in elementary school where I didn't like my name and was constantly trying to change it, and after that I ended up deciding I actually like it. So ever since then I haven't felt like I wanted to change it, even after I realized I was trans - until the last couple of years, anyway.
Those were smart ways to try out names! I wish I had more time to do that, but it's kind of hard feeling pressured for time now. I guess I should have been thinking about this earlier 😕
@CelesteM yeah it really sucks to be pressed for time, you should have all the time you need :/
Though people are still gonna need name changes for reasons unrelated to gender, even if changing gender markers gets banned, so I feel like there's less time pressure for name changes, and if you did change it soon, you'd still be able to change it again down the line if you change your mind. Of course going through the whole process of changing documents is a whole ordeal and not free, but just a thought.
Yeah, I feel like I want to get it all done at once so I don't have to spend the money and go through the process over and over 😕
@@CelesteM yeah definitely makes sense!
I'm older agender. I have resisted doing much in the way of transition because of my discomfort having gender be put first in line of my identities. I doubt I'll ever know if this was the right decision.
Ugh. I am sorry that you even have to think about changing your name since you like and relate to it or gender when neither option really feels correct for you. I can see why you would consider doing it due to safety issues, though. The world is kind of scary. Thanks for sharing your thoughts processes behind everything. My name and gender aren’t anything that I have ever had to be worried about. I have two sons, one is gay and the other is ACE. (Both also AuDHD) I really like to learn about other people’s experiences and perspectives to better understand people in general. If I were in a doctor’s office and your name was called and I saw you I would look as well but my thought would be “that guy has a really great name.”
Hi Celeste that is you who you are and no matter what you decide to do for safety. Deep down you know you are Celeste and are gender X (I hope this is the right terminology I'm 45 and my Transfriends are Female, Male, or Nonbinary but I know some people don't like the Nonbinary term either and I'm not sure what you prefer). I don't have any advice I too changed my name because of trauma and it never feeling right some people still dead name me and it hurts. So I can't imagine what its like for you to have a gender attachment to. A friend told me I was never my dead name I've always been Aria and that feels right to me. Just found your content and will keep checking in on it. Prayers (Or positive thoughts if you prefer) for you and all of us in the LGBTQ+ community.
Are you more attached to Celeste or your initials? ("Yes, my middle name is Celeste, the 'M' is silent. Haha.) I hope you find what makes you most happy.
I was more attached to my initials than my name and chose a very similar masculine name. It suited me so well people caught on quickly. As I felt the pressure to quickly change my name, I rushed my middle name selection and I think I might have chosen better with time, but I can also appreciate the sense of urgency.
I'm gonna stay in my lane about the gender marker thing as I'm "binary-lite" and the M suits me fine. I am anxious for all my trans sibs out there, especially those who resonate with an X. Stay safe. Stay strong. You rock.
Kind of both 😅 I dunno, it's not even that I'm "attached" to my initials, per se, I'm just used to them and have often used them to tag things as mine for years so it just seems like it will complicate things to change them. But that's kind of the case across the board, so I dunno.
Thank you, and I appreciate your perspective!
Imagine constantly thinking and worry about who has a wiener and who has a beaver 🙄