My First Gay Relationship: What I Learned
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
- linktr.ee/tommymay10
Hey girls and gays,
I wanted to make a video about my first gay relationship, and I wanted to share what I learned from it. I hope it advice is able to help someone out there! Appreciate all of you guys.
Best,
Thomas
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I was 67 when I had my first gay relationship. He is 64 and its been over 2months and we can't have more in common it's scary. I'm sure he's the one I've been waiting for. Never give up on true love 💘.
wow amazing there is no age to common sense people , mi first i had 12 at that time only 6 months school times ..hidden everywhere , no cellphones ... long walks alone .. too epic to be told !
I’m looking for a relationship as well 😊
Met my partner while working. Chat on phone for two weeks. Moved in together within 3 months. Now 17 years later, finally certified domestic partner in San Francisco. Oh and still going VERY strong. We're best friends , committed relationship with one cute dog and a few guppies. He's the love of my life, I love him more than anything else in this world.
How I love to read comments like that!
Asking questions is a good idea. Having friends both personal and communal is a good idea. My husband and I have been together for over 43 years. We are both in our 70s and doing well. Life is good! It is possible.
My first "serious" one that I am still actually in will be 32 years come March 2024. So yes commitment long term is possible if you really want it and keep a sense of home and love together. Just got to be on the same page for that to grow and last. Through the highs, the lows from excitement to boring mundane realizing that everyday is different and that's life! You just roll with it and count your blessings.
Happy Anniversary to you both! I love hearing stories like this.
My first gay relationship has been my last, so far… 32 plus years and counting… it happens…
Good for you, rpmnh! Same here, 30 years together. The first couple years were tricky cause we were just coming to terms with our newly gay selves. We persevered those early challenges, and have been living a happy and normal life together. It indeed happens..
@@beastscooterCongratulations! Here’s to many more happy years together.
That’s awesome! 😊
@@beastscooterhelp me find a new partner 😊
I’m 55 and I’ve never been in a relationship with a man or woman. Don’t think it will ever happen at this point.
That's okay. I hope you still have friend and family and a super full life.
Why?
@@KoalaBeer.Uhhh.. it's none of your business
64 and the same. It'll never happen
I had my first committed relationship when I was 46. I thought that it would never happen either but we've been together for 25 years. As soon as I stopped looking for it, it happened. You never know about these things.
ALL those things you spoke of while in your first romantic relationship are pretty universal especially for your age at the time . These things must be experienced and learned from . They are rights of passage and important building blocks into a happy mature adult in time ... "The school of hard knocks" is a part of life . the most important things in your life will be revealed .
I agree, I haven't had my first relationship before, I'm 27 and a guy hasn't took a chance
Good video. You did hit on some common themes from the gay community. Thank you for making this video.
I think a person has to know themselves well before entering a relationship. There are no guarantees with a relationship either , whether it lasts or not. A big mistake is we have expectations of someone, and people can be needy.
Well, if you know yourself well before a relationship, you only know yourself as someone single. Getting to know yourself while in a relationship is a completely different story...
Yes to the 100 questions to ask video! Lol
Just posted it!
“We watched Hercules like 5 times” lol … ❤ I wanna be in that relationship 😊.
Lol. Of course you did!
Great things to learn. Thanks.
My first relationship was also a learnings experience for me. I jumped into it too fast and also had tunnel vision. You do have to get to know someone first. He was in the closet though. He would only show affection in private, and he was only out for himself in many ways. Not to say I don't have my flaws. I did try to hold it together until I realized that it wasn't healthy for me.
Can I be your new friend please
lovely Tommy , best wishes to you❤
Hi Thomas, you are so smart and sweet! Best of luck! 🥰
You must live at least 2 years with yourself alone.
You will know so much about your tastes and your own way to live.
You are very gorgeous and goosebumps.
Good luck.
YES YES YES Questions video :)
Is your birthday May 10
Yes, do the 100 questions for a first date video 👍 Thanks for this one.
Hey 👋 😊
Please do the 100 questions video. I would appreciate it.🌞
It’s uploaded!
@@Thomas_Mathew_May 🙂👍👍
Well said, my friend!
Hey Tommy, thanks for your advice and stories. I look forward o hearing from you. The speedo stuff is so adorable. The shopping vid was so fun. And just so you know,you’re not too gay LMAO
Definitely would love to hear the 100 questions. It would be very informative!
on the other hand... my husband (29 years) was really happy that i didn't interview him the first time we met. i think the questions need to be paced so that they don't feel like they've been hauled down to a police station and put on a polygraph. there's plenty of time to figure things out (especially if you don't move too fast, as you mentioned). if i can make a suggestion, try to figure out fairly early on if you work well together as a team. a relationship is really about being a team where you might have different skills which are complimentary or overlapping. i love to use cooking as an example. everybody needs to eat and it is extremely bonding to cook and eat together. even if you're not great at cooking, it's still good because you can laugh at how you fucked up it was if needed. doing it together means that it's a shared experience, not a trial.
Great advice 😊
My first relationship lasted 11.5 years and took up my entire 20s.
I had the same experience but got into it too quickly without enough dating experience to realize what was good and bad. In the end it just took me out of the dating pool during my prime years.
Can we be friends please 🙏
I think of relationships this way: Life is season following season. It's not always summer, not every day is summer. Live and enjoy love when you find it. I met my late husband Phil in a bar when I wasn't even looking. We clicked and ended up together 7 years. Death did part us. But it was a wonderful season. 🌈
Thank you for sharing your honesty. I agree self-love is very important.
I was reading most UA-camrs sharing their gay relationships I noticed gays that have confidence and easily got up are the good-looking and fit ideal gay male but for someone like me an average guy at 56 I had never been in a relationship am out to my family only few friends as I moved here from out of the country I learn how to do things alone thinking that am not relationship material being not the ideal sexy gay when I feel down sometimes I talk with my folks it's just part of being human I learned how to enjoy the simple things be it nice views good food except being in a relationship.😢
True 😊
Very wise man you are.
What a beautiful wonderful young man!!
63 and have a partner of 35 years. We met at work and love at first site.
Tommy is a sweetheart.
Wow, you remind of Patrick & David's relationship from Schitt's Creek. ♥ How did you broker the conversation with your bf about being top, bottom, or versatile?
i would love to be able to download your list of first date questions! i’d rather just see the list and be able to copy/save it to my phone instead of a full video, cuz i can just read the questions myself.
I would greatly appreciate hearing your questions to ask before getting into a relationship. It would make a really good teaching experience.
Thanks!
Thank you so much 🥰
You are so high-quality, Thomas. You are a credit to the LGBT community.
8th ahh Yes - Do Not Rush into things..... I learned sooo much..1st real relationship was 21 in 81'...... the stories I could tell.....
I really enjoy listening to you.
Hey 👋 😊
You're very lucky you didn't drag out the relationship for 3 years. The song "Three Times In Love" is definitely a good guide for gay relationships. The first one is the starter, and if they are not out to family and friends... it's worse.
Hello Kevin 😊
Te felicito por asumirlo sin dramatismo. Ten en cuenta que no elegimos ser gay sino que nacemos así y en segundo lugar, vive tu vida porque nadie la vivirá por ti.
notes: dont name him bf before fully understanding him via questions. u can still seek friends when in relationship, friends are needed in life. make friends outside his friends circle.
I like your comment so much 😊
As a straight man that can't suffer the experience of dating women one thing I miss is free female validation in which women are some kind of gatekeepers to society to confirm whether of not you are a "real man". I think that lack of validation plays some part in the guilt, fear or shame some men feel about being gay. I could be wrong, just an outsider's perspective.
He left because he couldn’t look at that shirt anymore 😂
Go ahead with the questions
At age 71 who came out in my early 20s into a very different world, it's hard to imagine yours. Still, your excellent advice strikes me as common sense and helpful. I hope and expect your relationships fare better than did mine. After three long-time matches, all ending badly, I'm now happily benched. I'm no one to hand out advice, so it's good you're offering sensible pointers for your generation.
Hi Jeff...also 71, also came out in early 20s...only two long-term matches but also each ended badly...also happily benched and enjoying life each day from the perspective of 39 years of sobriety. Just wanted to say how surprising it was to look in the mirror while checking out the comments of an interesting video. Hugs to you.
@fredquinn3919 ❤ Kudos to you for your great attitude! I wonder how all these pretty young things on youtube will feel about themselves and their relationships in years to come. I wish them the best and hope they're as happy as you and I when they reach our age. Hugs in return.
Hello 👋 😊I’m looking for a new friend
Hi could u plz tell why ur past long-time matches got failed? it will be a lesson for others
@@fredquinn3919 Hi could u plz tell why ur past long-time matches got failed? it will be a lesson for others
Pls do the 100Qs video
Posted it yesterday. Go check it out ☺️
Man, you're gorgeous. Total spunk!
So many questions...😮
Your potential partners could feel like they were being interviewed.
If you don't focus your attention on one chosen person, how on earth do you hope to get to know them better than others?
You lost his friends after you two broke up... Had you had any friends before you two met?
Am I picking up some 'glottal stops'? You Canadian?
Today I met two guys at a gay bath house. We talked a lot and moved on. Out the place, we went out to a bar restaurant and then again we talked untill we were fully filled. After all, we exchanged each of us cell phone number and e-mail address. I guess that was some lucky encounter. It was a lucky day for me.
Handsome man and great catch!
honestly died when you quoted rupaul LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Nothings up !
❤
I'm almost 66 and still an old maid. Never had a relationship. Good for you. 🎉
Where do you live?
I’m 36 hope you’re okay with that?
💙💙
Sounds to me you're going through the normal process of things we call life.
💜💜💜
I am 71 I would really like to try. Inward light just to experience it. I need to see if I like it. And I really really wanna try it and I don't know how to meet someone
I wanna try it too
Please don't drink . It ruins things. I know because I drank alcohol alot. Things will run smoothly and be more manageable being sober.
Thomas, this does not change the fact that you are an absolutely gorgeous and handsome young man and even at age 53, I’d still date you in a heartbeat 🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
This handsome young man is Canadian?
Gosh! He is a beauty. Do you like older men?
What the hell does "motor boating" boobs mean?
I'm gay searching for true love
Hi..
Thomas i love
Good growing pains.😎
HI THOMAS I LOVE YOU YOUR MY NEW BESTFRIEND LOVE DAVID
Cute guy
Wish I had a boyfriend during covid , so you didnt have to be alone all the time…
In my case the different of ages was an issue. Sex was great, but I was too new to provide the best out of that. He came out later that he was or is Polyamorous; I didn't get it at the beginning, but when I did it, I didn't like it at all. I want him not a whole circus of men and women and to be in one room having sex with anyone, that was not my cup of tea. I loved him, but it was better to part and look for someone more compatible. Today I am married and happy with a men close to my age, with similar educational background and both of us are parent to 6 daughters and we have, combined, 12 grandchildren. The other guy ios turning 50th with not permanent relationship and wasting great part of his life.
I would like to take you on a date
I would like to date you 😅
You r cute!
Friends and being gay is complicated. Aa a gay person, especially if you've just arrived on the scene, you want to spend your time in the gay world and your prior friends tend to drop off. Gay men, in my experience, aren't very deep and I find most of them intolerable as friends. They tend to have 2 lines of thought. Getting laid and going out. They disappear when the going gets tough and rarely want to be involved in what they claim is drama. What is really life. Something you mention in another of your videos is the constant need to be inebreated. Their avoidance of drama. In my experience everytime I've asked a gay friend for help if it requires them to go out of their way it most likely won't happen. As always there are exceptions.
Getting to "know someone" before a comittment is just another one night stand. There's a so-called joke in the "community" that dating someone for 30 days is a long-term relationship. For what it's worth.
i love to date you
@@ericfreshcorn3590 Him or me?
@@cityguyusa You Honey
@@ericfreshcorn3590 That's sweet.
Where Are You From?@@cityguyusa
So did he pop your cherry?
why dont u talk the first impression u had blj or being nailed, might be more intesting that a Cinderella feminie story
😮
Tommy, I want to hear your questions ❤
You are pretty wise, baby!
Very good video
hey ! what is your contact?