Netflix is EXPLOITING Autistic People?
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- Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
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💛WATCH NEXT💛:
If you think this is Infantilising Autism, you're WRONG: • If you think this is I...
The Most Autistic Phone Call I Have EVER Seen | Autistic Reels: • The Most Autistic Phon...
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📹 My Videos mentioned 📹:
If you think this is Infantilising Autism, you're WRONG: • If you think this is I...
The 4 Types of Autistic Masking: • The 4 Types of Autisti...
The Most Autistic Phone Call I Have EVER Seen | Autistic Reels: • The Most Autistic Phon...
📒 Sources 📒:
Love on the Spectrum: www.imdb.com/title/tt19037550/
Infantilization: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infanti...
Britons opinions on autism: www.carehome.co.uk/news/artic...
Reddit post about the music: / i_hate_the_show_love_o...
Love is Blind IMDB: www.imdb.com/title/tt11704040/
Ellen Interview with Michael: • 'Love on the Spectrum'...
Life with the Spectrum interview Cian O'Clery: • Life With the Spectrum...
Portraying the cast honestly: www.thethings.com/does-netfli...
*Jennifer Cook Autism in Heels: amzn.to/3SAuvy1
Reality TV Stars Accuse NBC, Bravo of Exploitation: ‘The Day of Reckoning Has Arrived’: www.rollingstone.com/tv-movie...
Reality TV stars endure awful pay and working conditions. Let’s change that Nelini Stamp: www.theguardian.com/commentis...
Netflix is begging autistic people to participate in their reality TV dating show "Love on the Spectrum", offering to pay them in "autism awareness". Autistic people aren't too happy about it.: / netflix_is_begging_aut...
How much do Love Is Blind contestants get paid?: www.independent.co.uk/life-st...
Michael Theo Instagram: mr_a_plus_m... Tedx talk: • I thought I knew what ...
Austin IMDB: www.imdb.com/title/tt29929002...
Love on the Spectrum Cast Not Paid: www.distractify.com/p/love-on....
Autism & Abuse: www.spectrumnews.org/features...
journals.sagepub.com/doi/full...
Mate Crime: www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-...
00:00 Is this insulting garbage?
00:49 Infantilising autism?
03:50 Not great, Ellen
06:40 What would your likes and dislikes be?
08:24 The editing is too harsh?
11:15 Do autistic people lack empathy?
15:09 This sentence broke my heart
19:05 It would be morally wrong to pay the cast?
22:20 The promise of love is payment enough?
25:00 It's ableist to say the cast were exploited?
27:10 Kaelyn from last season
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism 📖 :
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
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DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
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What you do think about this? I'm so excited to have a discussion with you! I watched it all on the first day it came out and have been thinking on it and scripting this ever since. I think the main thing I enjoy about the show is the people. They do make great casting choices and I'm glad I got to 'meet' so many lovely autistic people. It makes me feel really proud to be a part of this community!
OMG I AM SO EARLY IT SEAS 14 SEC AGOO
Heyy, can you pleas help me so I am gonna put reasons i have been thinkgi am autistic for few years, I hope you can give ne your oppinions:
I think I might me autistic but I will never self diagnose.
So:
I have "meltdowns" when I am overwelmed with emotions (sad, happy, mad, anxious) I just want to cry or yk like a kid fall on the floor and scream. That happens when sm i want to do just cant happen or like when I make a mistake. That happens when I have a lot things to do too.
I realy like lines of numbers, like realyyyy like them.
I love categorasing shit. Everything. Sometimes I even categorasing stuff just like in my mind yk like I categorase stuff i hear or sm like that. Its hard to explain.
FCKING SENSORY ISSUES🙃
I cant eat half of the foods bc I cant with the textrue, yk they are just no, No, NO. Like :tommatos, typs of meat, yogurts with lumps in them like with frute, I dont like the middle of banana bc its like sticky and yucky, sea food, peppers...
Not old food but also clothes some are just like (sorry I dont know how to explain) AHH GET THE FCK AWAY RN. I cant stand flashing lights expecialy xmas ones
. I cant stand when people scratch with Their fingers or tap. OMG I WOULD SNAP THEIR FINGERS.
I dont like loud noise. I cant stand vaccume cleaners. I always wear headphones and out music on bc I cant stand it.
And toys that speak or sing. Sense i was a kid i cant be in a room whit them. I start shaking, sweating, being realy u comfy.. I am a teen now so I try to hide it sm.
And one more thing ik its weird but listen. Sense i was a kid i cant stand swings or anything swinging. Even the water in pools or in glass. Same thing like with toys, sweating, shaking. Idk why. Sm even the swinging of an arm while a person walks triggerd me. I try to hide it but its so hard. I fell so weird bc I never heard anyone have the same strugle.
I sm strugle to speak properly. Sm i speak kinda normal, but most of the time i speak super fast and my sentence sound like a 6 year old seas them, yk like:
1.forgets to put words in different times (like past, future..)
2.forgets to put things from 1 to more (book, books)
3.or i just strugle to get words out.
A lot of times people say that sm i say was rude but I just dont see how sm is rude. And I didnt have an intention to make sm mad/sad.
I am always in a numb kinda states. Like today is xmas, we where opening oresends and I oretended that I am jumpy and exsided. Like I was but I didnt show it it was just blank exoresion. So my mom looked at me, then I started smiling. I forget.
Its hard to express my fellings. When I hang out with people around a table, every one us talking to sm i just sit there and stare. When someone asks am I having fun/ am I alright, I say that I am great. Bc I am. But I dont show it.
Stimming. I stimm a lot. I tap or play with my fingers. Repetitive blinking,bc of that my parents brought me to a doctor and he sead its just a tick, it will go away, spoilers it didnt. I stim in many comon ways in autism. I also always walk on my tiptoes.
No one sead anything aboute it, only a few friends but as a joke
Pleas help mee:)
@@Noah_ra1nHi I’m an autistic teen! I think you might be autistic from what you described and I relate to a lot of it!! Megan has a lot of videos on her channel about signs you may be autistic and about stimming,masking etc that I think would help you. Maybe try asking your parents to make an appointment for you to talk to your doctor about an autism diagnosis? (Be warned It usually takes years to get one) 😊
I haven't watched this show but I saw someone lower functioning on the spectrum who was on the show say they struggled because most of the people on this show were higher functioning and it doesn't show neurotypical people autistic people who struggle more. This can be dangerous as it can teach people that every person with autism is like those who are higher functioning. ua-cam.com/video/9FCixSEjUJ8/v-deo.html
@@caitie-can4572 thank you so much for helping, I am going to be 18 in few years so I think I will wait, my parents arent realy great ti talk aboute that stuff. Ik diagnosis takes a long time, and I will be patient. But fr, thank you so much for taking your time to read all the sht i wrote :)
likes: bees (concept)
dislikes: bees (reality)
Okay same though
same thing but for horses (did you see how tall they are????)
@@thatoneidiot5108 Horses are TERRIFYING. Majestic and beautiful creatures, but terrifying.
😂😂😂
This is me with fungus
I watched a show that was all about penguins and the presenter sounds the exact same as in love on the spectrum, each penguin was introduced in the exact same way as the people on love on the spectrum. It was cute and whimsical for penguins, for adult humans it's definitely infantilising.
Was that the one about the African penguins? Can't remember the name right now!
@@imautisticnowwhatIt might have been! I don't really remember. It was also on Netflix
If you find out what it was lmk, I wanna watch a documentary about penguins. That is the exact sort of vibe content I'm looking to decompress to rn.
Oh my god. Forget about infantilizing. That's straight out dehumanizing!!
Commenting for when someone finds that penguin documentary name
Kaelynn Partlow has responded on Instagram, to the claims that Love on the spectrum is infantalising by pointing out that rather than approaching any of the neurodivergent folk involved, and asking them directly as to what their personal points of view on their experience was people, commentators, critics are speaking for them/ over them, there by actually infantalising them. I think that was about it in a nutshell. I am hugely appreciative of your channel and perpectives & wouldn't have even known about the program and plenty of other TV programs without your vlogs.
Katelynn also posted this on UA-cam and I think that she has a valid point.
@@Catlily5it’s valid in the sense that they may feel infantilized by feeling spoken over, but it’s not valid in that autistic people are talking about themselves when bringing up these issues, not necessarily the participants. They’re worried about this type of framing not For the participants. Autistic people can be affected by the show and the participants are doing their own brand of “speaking over” by saying their opinions matter more than the perception. Both can be tru though, the participants can have no problem with how they’re portrayed, and autistic people watching the show can feel uneasiness. The problem is there isn’t ENOUGH rep, and this kind of rep, while fitting SOME autistic people, is more common, and thus, feels like the only rep, and not fitting for other autistics and their personality types.
I just saw a video from Kaelynn who was apparently on the show, and she said that she and the other members of the cast did not feel infantilized like many people are criticizing the show for and that they found it to be a comfortable experience.
That’s fine and all, but also perception is a real thing outside of experiences
Although great for Kaelynn, I’m happy for her, her experience may not represent the cast as a whole. You can’t throw a gathering for us autistics and expect us to all have the same account of that gathering.
That's great if she and the other cast didn't *feel* infantilized, but anyone who's ever been on reality TV will tell you that the story on set is often VASTLY different than the one that ends up in the final cut. The cast don't get to see the editing process or hear the narrations. I'd be curious to know if Kaelynn has seen the released show and if she thinks that any of the cast or the events of the show were portrayed differently to the viewers than how she and the others experienced it.
It seems that most of the infantilization occurred in post-production (music, voiceover, marketing, etc) and THOSE areas, the areas that are the set dressing for the viewer, are JUST as important in shaping public perception of autistics. Also - who the showrunner is as they are the one's shaping the narrative (editing, what questions are being asked during confessionals, etc). It's likely that there was virtually no autistics BEHIND the camera and THAT is the problem.
She did also say that she wasn't invited back for season 2 and she thinks it might be because they prefer to have autistic people pairing up with autistic people and she'd prefer to be with someone NT
Likes: fresh pens
Dislikes: interruptions
Pay the talent. Full stop.
Likes: more nuanced presentations of humanity
Dislikes: lazy reductionisn
Fresh pens are pretty great. ❤✒️
Likes: Toadstools mushrooms
Dislikes: the fact that toadstool mushrooms are poisonous 😢
Likes: Learning new things. About anything really.
Dislikes: Making phone calls. I mean, who doesn't?!
@durabelle I like phone calls. I love the part where the person says words and my head just empties.
Yeah actually phone calls are shite tbf
What appalls me most is that as an autistic person watching these scenes... the directors have no idea how many of the behaviors they're playing up for comedy are trauma responses. Not so cute and funny now is it?
I don't believe they care about that.
Yeaaah… like, “oh isn’t that a quirky ‘tism?!” No, sir. It’s neurodivergent PTSD.
This. They don't get why this feels wrong. It's seen as "oh Timmy just needs to learn to be more social like hte rest of us, look how awkward!"
It wouldn't be all that dissimilar from showing a war veteran dating show, and just displaying their truama responses like it's nothing when the date ends in a fireworks show. Oh, Jimmy needs to learn how to tolerate loud explosions like the rest of us look how awkward!
@@tehrinny7031 savage. 💀 you’d think it’d be hyperbole but then it isn’t
@@tehrinny7031 I understand that you used war veterans as a comparison but I'm afraid people treat war veterans with ptsd or c-ptsd(especially older folks like Vietnam and world war II vets) just as shitty sadly.
They still need to be paid. Time is money, and each person there is spending time and energy to be there. Getting a job while being formally diagnosed as Autistic is difficult.
It's bad enough that Allistic actors/reality show contestants are paid very little, but they can still get and hold down a well-paying job.
Some employers won't even hire an autistic person by the fact that they're autistic alone, so being paid to partake in a "documentary" should be a given!
In this instance, BOTH equality and equity demand payment for these people, for spending valuable time, energy, and braincells masking for a show where it's unclear if it actually respects them as humans.
It's so gross, man. Even extra roles are subject to payment, most of the time. And allistic actors would have 100% been paid :( I'm not autistic, but nuerodivergent and I'm just so tired of the ignorance.
Couldn’t agree more. I had no idea they weren’t paid, until I watched this video. That’s outrageous.
Isn't demanding that people with autism be paid while not demanding that neuro-typical people be paid as well a bit ableist?
@@AndaraBledin I don’t think anyone was arguing only autistic people be paid, you can also not be autistic and not be neurotypical 💕
They don't need to be paid you are told that you're not paid and you agree to that
Watching other seasons of Love on the Spectrum was the first time the thought popped into my head "Wait a minute, could I be autistic?". I was talked out of it at the time, but my journey has continue and I'm pursuing a diagnosis now. I hate the Reality TV drama of the show, and watching this season has raised the same question about exploitation for me, but if it helps other people like me discover more about themselves and maybe get help if they need it, I think there's value there!
That's amazing!! 💛
same! before i was diagnosed or really speculating i found myself really relating to the people on the show! it just took me a while to figure out if it was just on a human level or on an autistic level
@@imautisticnowwhatwhy are you complaining none of them are a-holes that's why they can use "baby-music" ? Stop complaining and get a life this show was so wholesome
"yeah I entered this show about dating to go on dates"
Talk show host: OMG THAT IS HILARIOUS *claps while bursting their sides*
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT 💀. I just hate when people think you're so cute & funny when they ask dumbass questions.
Why else would be there if not to date? eye roll
I think they laughed because they thought it was funny that apparently the "best chance" an autistic person can have for finding a partner is only if they do something drastic like going on a reality TV show ... Like autistic people are so awkward and isolated that they can't find partners out in the wild, they need special help or other people to bring them together in order for them to ever have a chance of finding each other?? Idk that's how I interpreted their laughter at his response. Just pure ablism and horrible stereotyping.
@@garden.of.thistles agreed
neurotypicals never beating the laugh at fucking nothing allegations
I don't like that they seem to keep trying to shoe-horn them into neurotypical culturally normal relationship models. We get very stuck in rule-sets, so telling us "this is what a relationship looks like" means we'll miss out on satisfying relationships because they don't immediately look like the blueprints imposed on them.
This happened at a social anxiety club. The teachers who set it up shut down our conversations if they weren't normal - like we were having interesting discussions such as listening to eachother's special interests, and even had a discussion on what would happen if there was a dinasour in the school, but they said that was irrelevant... like what on earth? How are we supposed to get less socially anxious when the way we converse is insulted?
@ishaalimtiaz6715 that sounds like the real intention was a "learn to be normal" club, where they just try to force you to be what they perceive as normal
@@ishaalimtiaz6715 How do you unmask when everything you say is censored? I'm sorry. You deserved better.
It also plays into passing culture which is very stressful for a lot of autistic people.
@@ishaalimtiaz6715lol really? 😅 but that is awful shutting down people enjoying coversationz with each other in a social anxiety group?woukdnt that be considered success for a social anxiety group the most absurd thing to do 😅
As someone with autism the show is literally perfect to see people do what they can to make it work and showing the growth cause even at 40 we can still grow and learn. Tanner literally makes me cry cause he seems like such a pure soul and I just wanna have a person like that around that’ll know that the positive looks is all we have
It's definitely not perfect. It's absolutely framing the people in an infantilizing way, people got rejected for being on the show for not fitting the cutesy vibe.
@@robokill387damn
I feel like you haven't even watched the video?
I don't have autism, but I have anxiety disorders and pieces of my childhood selective mutism. I've always had a really hard time making friends and holding conversations with friends. I don't know what to say but I feel like I need to say something interesting. Whenever I have friends, I'm not their closest friend, so I tend to feel like the stakes are "hold interesting conversation or they won't want to spend time with me anymore." I say all this because I probably would have benefited from the "it's okay to be quiet" as well. I can forget that conversation is a two-way street and that it's not on me alone to carry it.
I relate a lot to your comment ❤, I have a few close friends but it’s been so difficult to relate and truly bond with new people and even people I know. It’s made me feel really sad and even more anxious to interact with others. Conversations should definitely be a 2 way streak, but it definitely feels like I’m the only one trying when I do talk most the time these days tbh 😅
I have none of those problems, and let me tell you. With my best friends we can hang out in silence for extended periods of time, no problem at all. I hope you achieve this level of comfort with someone one day.
Acting is labor and deserves compensation. All the justification around what is maximizing profitability is business sophistry.
I was reading that and 100000000% agreed with what you meant, and my brain also spun it around and was like, “Yeah, we really should be compensated at work for acting like we’re neurotypicals and heavily masking.”
Is it acting if you’re just showing up and being autistic? I do think they should be paid for their time though.
are they actually "acting" on the show? can showing up and being yourself (which is what this show is ostensibly doing) be classified as acting?
But they aren't acting. It's more like personal documentary about autistic people finding love
"They aren't acting." Okay, sure. They aren't acting. Pay them anyway. They are on a show run by a multi-BILLION dollar corporation. PAY THEM.
“people will like you even if you’re quiet”. i wasn’t expecting that to hit me so hard. i started sobbing. like i know it’s been a reoccurring theme in my life for other people to make me feel bad for not talking as much as they’d like and not always knowing how to respond but i don’t think i realized the full level of pain this has caused me until this moment.
i can agree man
Yeah, I’m really glad they included that scene.
I completely relate to that
I'm not autistic but have had a lot of trauma and severe social anxiety and was and am so quiet. And people have in the past especially when in school treat me like I'm stupid. Being quiet doesn't equal stupid or dumb. Like the way people would talk at me.. idk I absolutely hated it and made me dislike people more that I already did..
Oof I feel this too 💔💗
The likes/dislikes are a reference to Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain, known in the US as Amélie, a 2001 romantic comedy film about a young woman who is presented very much as on the spectrum. Many of the major characters get the like/dislike treatment.
It’s one of the things about the show that I like the most, as Amélie is one of the first times I saw someone like myself onscreen, and it feels very welcoming.
Sameee
So THAT'S why i loved that movie and it made me weep, haha...
I saw myself for the first time, in a non negative light...
@@pariahmouse7794 exactlyyy and I make ppl watch it and when they don't understand it I know they arent like that but it's weird bc I get to feeling like that's the only way to be, but it's not
@@danielle3064one of the best parts of that is that it shows how everyone has these basic experiences of being drawn to some things and repelled by others-things that aren't always the same but whose magnitude can feel the same-which just underlines how WE are all more or less the same and human and equal, which in itself validates- Amelie's choice to try to bring joy and light and love to her community. Love and romance aren't necessarily just one specific channel of attachments that you have with a single person, but a whole spectrum of experiences and attachments that you share with the people around you. It's not as much a pairing-off as an attitude or a lens one can use in their life as a whole. And I kind of love that message.
@danielle3064 I think I completely understand what you mean, haha...
I make people watch "The Last Unicorn", because I AM the unicorn, kind of human but kind of separate, still- I relate more to that damn unicorn than I do to any human, I think I get what you mean, even if I am explaining it differently...
More people should have brains like ours, the world would be a better place...
The music is pretty similar to the Great British Bake-Off… so it may just be generic wholesome music.
My sequence would be:
"Likes to go into various online forums to talk about very controversial political topics and argue about it for hour with absolute strangers."
"Dislikes to tie shoelaces."
That's amazing omg 😂
I hate shoelaces...
I think we might be the same person haha
I am 50, one of these days I learn to tie my shoelaces as fast as others.
Including those pesky 5 year olds they are just mean :D
Same. Shoe laces suck. Unfortunately, so does Velcro.
Documentarians do not actively concoct scenarios, direct behavior and insert themselves into the lives of their subjects.
Exactly. Calling this a documentary is like calling my feet race cars cuz I can walk down the road.
@@LeviathansGrottolmaoo
@@LeviathansGrottothose stripes on your sweatpants and shoes make you go fast 😅
You sweet summer child (not derogatory) I envy that you don’t know how many nature documentaries do exactly that to make interesting “discoveries”. Most famous is a lemmings documentary where they threw themselves off of cliffs.. they do not do that..
Its a mockumentary
I personally dont think the show infantilized any of the individuals featured. They all seemed to have a positive impression of how they were represented on the show. I'm a 40 year-old man, and I can honestly say, I learned A LOT about how to have a healthy relationship by watching this show.
The like and doesn't like thing isn't necessarily infantilizing, there's a movie called Ámelie that does that exact same thing and it does not give that impression at all
I feel like that's where they got the idea. That's the first thing I thought of when I saw that since that's my favorite movie
Pim likes: frogs, and hands on crafts
Pim doesn't like: infantilizing autistic adults
What’s your favourite frog? I’m genuinely curious because I found a large green tree frog the other day and I never seen one in the wild, it felt really special to see one so close up!
@@lulub517i like animals in general, especially dogs. Its very cool to talk to people who love nature and animals...if they dont i feel theres' something off unless theres some phobia problem 😅
YOUR NAME IS PIM??? That’s my dad’s name! I have never met another Pim. Crows are great. Glad you exist. My dad is also autistic lol
@@thecolorjune its a dutch name, right?
@thecolorjune well, Pim is my nickname technically. Short for Seraphim
The soundtrack sounds like the sounds used for secret life of a 4 year old and educating manchester, essex, etc. So it does give like infantilisation of autistic people.
Yep!!! I've used Secret life of 4 Year old as an example when explaining it to others!
Yeah it sounds a lot like the music on this show Too Cute, which is literally about following domesticated baby animals as they grow up and learn about the world and find homes and junk, adorable? heartwarming? Yes. Comparable to a dating show about autistic adults? No.
I recognized a lot of the bgm from the build/buy mode from Sims 3 💀
Yes
completely unrelated but jjk pfp spotted ‼️‼️
Hello this Is Jake, Dani’s friend who went on the date with her in episodes 3 and 4, alot of what you are saying about how things are edited to increase awkwardness are very accurate! At 9:50 the old guy it showed with the grumpy face was not at all like he was that night he was actually really cheerful and was there for his wife’s anniversary I believe, he was interested in what was going on with the filming and wasn’t aware of what it was for. He seemed to really enjoy the performance me and Dani did and shook our hands afterwords. It was a nice moment that I wondered why they didn’t capture that in the edit. I am not sure if grumpy was the tone the editors were going for or if it was suppose to be a more serious “deep” kind of moment. There are a few things that were edited out of the date that kind of confuses viewers, like how I am also a diagnosed Autistic person and how i work with Dani teaching animation in her business with students before the filming of the date and I still do today. I like the show overall, but i have had to explain myself quite a bit to people on instagram who had a negative perception of the date and our friendship. Thank you for your unbiased review of the show!
Hey, Jake! You and Dani are really nice fellows.
Thank you for sharing!
I agree with some of the issues with the show mentioned, but the dishonest editing to make scenes look more awkward than they are or leave you on a cliffhanger is something that all "reality" shows unfortunately do.
the show is very divisive for me as an autistic person- on the one hand I would agree that netflix deliberately edits the show to make the participants look more awkward or juvenile to market towards allistic people who think “aw so wholesome.” On the other hand, I just love seeing other autistic people on my screen, and as someone with a lot of trouble dating it feel very relatable to hear the participants talk about their struggles in that area. with the payment point though, that’s so frustrating and saddening, but unfortunately not surprising :/
I'm back and forth as well.
On the one hand, it's very common for shows like this (even those which don't have a focus on autistic people) to play up the awkwardness for entertainment value, so it's hard to be mad at that.
On the other hand, when you're dealing with people whose entire lives are dominated by the awkwardness and the problems it causes, it feels particularly insidious.
It would be a bit like having a survival show where they play up the drama of a steep climb for entertainment, then a comparable show but it's a person in a wheelchair trying to go down an ordinary trail and it's difficult because trails aren't designed with wheelchair users in mind. Like yeah, maybe you cut the show in the same way and that's "equality" but you probably shouldn't have done that.
@@ville__ Self-promoting in the comments is tacky as hell.
I just started watching it the other day. I do agree with the points about infantilisation and it definitely has its issues, however it really is lovely to see autistic people on the screen at all! I was only identified as autistic recently and I have very few autistic peers so I found it really nice to see myself and relate to others like me for the first time!
Yeah I am enjoying seeing more shows about autism. It is making me more relaxed with the idea of un- masking. I can mask to a high standard unfortunately and have suffered so much because of it. I only realised that what I had was autism and adhd last year. My son massively opened my eyes and made me realise that i have autism too. I always knew I was different and felt like a freak in junior school. I masked for survival. My autism was never picked up even before I started masking. I'm my opinion it was obvious. I was always in my own little world. 🎉🎉 it's great to see so much more awareness. ❤ I present abit differently to people on love on the spectrum. In awkward uncomfortable social situations or environments i retreat into myself. I hardly make any eye contact. Just more comfortable that way. My partner who I have been with since I was 18 also has autism. We both never knew for years. We are 35 now. Our 6yr old son, his autism affects him so much worse. But we all suffer the same so it has been hard I can relate a lot to what he's been through already with schools. I am in the UK.
@@Aimz35 Your story with high masking, own little world, having a 6-year-old triggering the realization with both you and your partner, and being the same age... this is basically us, just 6-7 years younger! We met when we were 26, and will be 42 this year, but our son is 6 years as well, and it seems to show more in him.
Looking back, there even had been a moment like 15 or 20 years ago, when I thought I might be autistic (have Asperger's, as it was called), but never followed up, because "boys are autistic" and it seemed unlikely... I just checked my old school report cards, there are hints all over those, but back in the 80s and 90s nobody really knew. *sigh*
I think the only circumstances under which reality shows/ documentaries should be able to not pay their participants is if they are not for profit. If they are making money off of the participants stories but not giving any of that money to them, then to me that is deeply unethical
I think the key here is "participant". In a proper documentary, the crew making the documentary are the guests, passively spectating the people/group/activity/event with maybe some interviews and such but not meaningful active participation. If the "documentary" crew are the ones actually running the situation and the subjects are mere participants rather than the people actually in control, then it's not a documentary, the participants are performing labour for you, and you owe them fair wages.
@@bosstowndynamics5488 I would also further point out that in the case of most documentaries, the people would be doing whatever it is, even if they weren't being filmed, so they're not really doing anything extra with their time to make the companies profit. In the case of love on the spectrum, many of the participants would still be going on dates even if they weren't being filmed but they wouldn't be going on those dates set up by the production crew, so they are taking time away from what they would usually be doing to make for profit content for Netflix
Its a reality show. I think being better than an average reality show and paying better, always is moral.
And they can do it wizthoutr compromising anything.
@@bosstowndynamics5488this definition doesn't fit nature documentaries which almost always have staged "participation" from the animals.
@@hannahgriffith8530 Well yeah, that's kind of my point. They aren't "participating" in the documentary project, they're doing their thing while the documentary team is more or less spectating
Likes: Music/bands, researching bdsm/kink & sexuality, Vampire the masquerade (and or almost anything with vampires), ballet, theater, horror, and thrifting
Dislikes: loud eaters, bad communication, capitalism
Oh oh speaking of facial expressions I was taking an ASL class and my teacher would often tell me that I wasn't doing facial expressions correctly/at all. I can either focus on my hands or my face. Not both. That was another thing that pushed me to push for getting a diagnosis. I dropped that class even though I probably could have passed because I feel like I hadn't learned enough to accomplish the last assignment. Which sucked because I would love to learn ASL as it's a cool language plus I've issues hearing and or understanding spoken words sometimes.
My diagnosis report included that I appeared intensely angry at times despite my affect being the opposite. I don’t know what I was trying to express, but, big mask-fail.
Likes: Storytelling and media analysis.
Dislikes: People making assertions and waiting to be corrected rather than asking questions.
If you know the myers briggs thing, are you by chance an FI person? Because what you don't like is that FE function (and like, super same here.)
I remember the first episode
There was a scene where a guy needed more time to process and answer the question "What do you like?" and the editing framed it as awkward and cut him off before he could answer, I stopped watching shortly after that
Oh that's so disrespectful
I'd do the same thing. Such an open ended question. I'd freeze completely.
@opalwreck Oh I hate that! People sometimes ask me small questions such as Do you remember this...? or what did you say last night? I was tired. And your Autistic brain replies "Well, which of all conversations from yesterday? What time was it? Was I talking back to you or was I talking to myself? Come on, be specific."
We gather up so much information over the day it's hard to remember every single detail and conversation. I just freeze to think and they walk away. So disrespectful!
ikr it was more of a "look at these weirdos" rather than a compassionate look into peoples lives imo@@LilChuunosuke
Likes: Dungeons and Dragons, Painting.
Dislikes: People misunderstanding autism.
3/3 you have some good taste there
I am shit at D&D but even being shit at it is so much fun 😅
I love dnd, but I get paralyzed by choices whenever I try to paint. There's not enough structure for me, haha.
I'm so bad with structure like I'm I'm my 40s and it actually makes me belligerent fitting a structure that isn't mine. The D&D game we played had a vague nebulous structure that one of us would derail somehow 🤣🤣🤣
I used to paint but then I got Into weaving wire. My brain loves it I sort of know I can make anything and my brain will work it out. I mostly weave dragons. I love dragons and monsters.
I'll grow up one day 😄
@@Theworstaltinthesystem hahaha that's awesome. I just need rules and structure and that kind of thing. If there's room for creativity within that, I love it. Part of a reason why I like acting so much, I think. But if I have too many options, I feel like I'll make a wrong decision and screw it up, and then I panic.
@kylerhoades7291 Jesus this is so me. I need to be presented with two choices or I choose the void between choices. I'm in my 40s I'm a work in progress 🤣
Making the promise of love the only incentive to participate isn't a neutral choice either. It must feel very vulnerable to put yourself out there in that way, in a world where "single" and "virgin" are used as insults, so naturally the people who apply for the show are the ones who feel they have no other chance to find someone, which biases the selection before the show staff even do anything
Not a single person who participated on the show has had any complaints about their experience or how they were presented. Why are we not asking THEM how they feel? THAT is actual infantilizing.
I actually agree.
That part, cause this girl is complaining about B.S
@@MMMMutants I don't want to upset anyone but, *yes,* I think it's actually starting to get tiresome.
I tend to feel fake about my autism after watching too many videos of this channel.
@@RosieBrownie I don't know if your bring sarcastic or not
@@MMMMutants Why would I be sarcastic if I agree with you? ❤
What would a similar show about neurotypical people look like?
Likes: unwritten rules and talking in code
Dislikes: explaining their meaning and not having their mind read
*Plucky violin music over B roll of lemmings*
😂😂💀-
What
@@livinqlovelyy Did you not understand B roll? That means stock footage.
*wheeze*
I'm not so much of a fan of our unwritten rules, but I am a huge fan of extreme sarcasm and deadpan humour as well as intense eye contact! I have to know you're engaged in our conversation by staring deep into the windows of your soul
im autistic and as much as i love the show and love seeing people like me on tv, i do think jthe american version can cross the line into exploitation
Curious what you think the Australian series did better, that was less exploitative?
I also had an easier time watching the Australian series. The first season of it was rough though, because of the lady that tried to teach them allistic social skills for dates with other autistic people. She got better and a little less infantilizing in the 2nd season though.
I dont watch tv much. I will look into this online. My mom saw one of the versions and she told me the people (autistics) were interesting people but the crew treated them badly. Mind you she even has more asd symptoms than me...but shes 70 and doesnt want to be doing the assessment
I really prefer the Australian version. In particular, they follow a couple of established relationships as well. Dating is always awkward, and seeing a successful neurodivergent relationship mixed in really lifts the mood of the show for me. It’s called love on the spectrum, not dating on the spectrum.
@@edrodgers1258 I’ve been thinking the same thing!
Just a note on the music aspect- I find it to be very similar to the music on the British dating show First Dates, which features neurotypical people.
Agreed.
"I can't think of anything to say but I'm having a really nice time." Wow, this is perfect. I'd be so happy to hear someone say that to me and I'm going to make an effort to use this if I have one of those moments. Love it.
1:29 Was not expecting it to be called baby giraffe music, but it makes so much sense.
I personally feel sort of attracted to the cozy vibe of the show, because when I think about dating in the NT world, it often feels like people are trying to win some sort of creepy conquest game and the rules are told to everyone but us. So I expect to see a more supportive and less anxiety driven environment at least in an autistic show. But I agree that it is done in a very infantilizing way and people unfamiliar with autism learn to not take us seriously.
Why did I feel guilty for liking the easy going vibe, honestly my bf pointed the music choice thing out but as far as I saw when there were genuinely serious moments for both parties then they would use the more tone appropriate music. But a lot of the dates had ppl that weren’t on the same page or wavelength so I guess they chose the most appropriate music for the misunderstanding/miscommunications they would often come across. The only other option I usually see producers use in miscommunication situations is darker foreboding music, yet I don’t think personally that the moment was being interpreted that way by both parties, if there was a normally “awkward” silence it would be better to be filled by smthn less heavy since in the scenarios where one party recognizes the other’s possible communicational shortcomings, that person would still try and keep up a positive attitude for the other. I think some things designed for ppl on the spectrum can come off as infantilizing but we all know it’s a spectrum so you come at the subjects at the most general level you can. Because we are all different on the spectrum for some of us it might sound like baby talk, but for the ones it was catering towards it might have been helpful to keep the show so straightforward. I feel like alot of of us with (formerly called) Asperger’s often miss the point that we are not all “high functioning” socially/situationally, some are higher functioning in other areas so it would make no sense to make a show that only caters to the situationally aware, rather than keeping it more general and wholesome. Just because something is family friendly doesn’t necessarily mean it’s for children but that’s just my opinion here.
You might like First Dates. It's also a very cosy dating show.
They don’t take us seriously anyway. 🤷♀️
As a person with autism, These kinds of finding love reality shows/documentaries always make me so uncomfortable. Especially Love on the spectrum which has particularly vulnerable individuals because im always thinking 'these are people not some fictional character we can mess with'. Im really annoyed about the pay thing especially because the Australian Royal commission into disability revealed that people with a disability can and are paid as little as $2 (AUD) an hour and get away with it. I'd be less mad if there was some other compensation but this feels insulting to the community. If you enjoy these shows, thats great but I still find it really uncomfortable
Their other compensation is usually funded by social security systems. Do you want to take that away and pay them what they’re able to earn on their own?
In the UK there was a show on Channel 4 called The Undateables which was a general disability dating show, though I don't recall many wheelchair users on it.
One of the autistic people working on the show also makes content on Instagram etc. She has some very problematic views about higher support needs autistics and when I pointed it out in the comments she doubled down on it. So yeah not watching that. I told an NT friend who is even into DEI stuff that this show is offensive and her "awww" reactions were infantilizing and she also doubled down on her opinions saying she has other autistic friends who are fine with it. Sounds a lot like "I have a Black friend so I can't be racist" to me
can you share who you are referencing?@@superfacch
The cast didn't feel infantilized and that's what matters to me. Most infantilization comes from the viewer, IMO. Kaelynn from S1 posted a video about this.
The “am I doing my eyebrows right” bit really stuck out to me on a personal level. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be an actor of some kind. However, I was so unsure about how I’d do in terms of facial expressions that I’d study how other actors in movies did theirs to fit the mood. I’d then go to the mirror after it and practice for a few minutes to see if I could replicate the expressions I saw without it looking fake or too exaggerated. It ended up helping with my masking indirectly since I could just use the expressions I practiced to seem more “normal”... But if you talked to me, it’d be pretty obvious that I wasn’t neurotypical now that I look back on it. I didn’t really nail conversation flow too well and I could get pretty loud while I talked if I wasn’t trying to think of the next word to say in a sentence.
I still make faces in the mirror to practice for the day when I can start taking acting classes and I actually started to talk to myself while doing so to prepare for actually acting in general. I never really thought of it as funny or weird because everyone practices what they want to be good at, right? I can see why it would be if people see it firsthand without context, but it’s just practice. So, the “am I doing my eyebrows right” question made sense to me
I never wanted to be an actor but i related and to the mirror thing. Ive rehearsed a lot in front of it. And for many years i always spend some time looking at myself before going out. Obsessively checking if my clothes were straight and all kinds of details.
The eyebrow thing hit me like a brick to the face. I have a horrible time with my facial expressions and the tone of my voice, but my eyebrows are by far the worst thing.
One of my earliest memories was my aunt scolding me for frowning at people when they talked to me (I had no idea I was frowning). She told me that was rude and no one likes rude little girls. After that, I started raising my eyebrows during conversation to make sure that I didn't frown, and now I _always_ do it. I put so much emphasis into it that my face starts to hurt after a while.
Doesn't help that my mother is the type to interpret blank or neutral expressions as sad or angry and flies off the handle about it.
I'm trying to stop doing the eyebrow thing as often, among other masking habits, but I just don't feel safe letting my face relax around others. :/
@Lunar_Spell I completely understand! I always put a ton of effort into making my eyes portray my emotions most of all because I found that they were big enough to show what was needed. I originally would just stare or look confused with weird faces, which made my mom ask what was wrong and my dad think that I wasn’t respecting him (he wasn’t exactly a good parent and caused some pretty bad trauma). It ended up with my eyes being what indicated what I felt... And that made it hard since I’d have to sneak my eye contact away for split seconds to make it more comfortable for me. I don’t have too much trouble with eye contact in general, but I can’t do it for extended periods of time. Eventually I found a way to make those “breaks” look more natural during conversations, but it still felt a little uncomfortable.
I’m learning to not force myself to pretend as much anymore now and keep the whole act to actually acting when I get the chance to instead of all the time. It’s been like a load has been taken off my shoulders, but it takes a while to undo nearly two decades of masking habits.
I almost never relax either. I held my cheeks up while I fake smiled for a long time. I didn't even know I did that until a girl in school asked me how I could hold my cheeks up for so long. @@Lunar_Spell
I'm really glad they left that in. My internal monologue but someone speaking it outloud.
Alternate points: What I loved about tanners arc is that when he is meeting with the dating coach via videoconference she realizes that he is worried about being interesting and looking happy and she addresses it and acknowledges that he might have been taught that but he doesn’t have to do all that. I loved that she was autistic as well, that felt important and like a good call.
The lgbt representation with Journey was amazing, because there’s a higher rate of queer identities in the community.
We got to see Connor talk about the feeling of loneliness which affects so many autistic folks. We get written off as “uninterested” in socializing when really it’s just about socializing differently and we feel lonely just like anyone can.
Dani’s sex-positive spirit and openness to talk about her interest in that is another topic that gets ignored for autistic folks and the little representation we do have are asexual. Ace is great, and real, and valid but it’s not EVERYONE and we don’t need to be desexualized… soooooo yeah just on the contrary there are other things that I think WERE done well and DO help with representation that’s been lacking. Your points are valid as well just adding more perspective
something having good things doesn't take away from the point that it has bad things
@@LokiLagoon I never said they did~ they don’t have to “cancel” each other out to both be true at the same time. Sometimes there’s a combo of good and bad mixed together in the same thing. Just depends what you take from it. And just because something isn’t flawless doesn’t mean it’s worthless.
exactly @@LokiLagoon theyre just trying to point out what they thought was alright. thats what comments are for😊
@@Raddiebaddie your starting phrase ("alternate points") made it sound like you thought the person making the video should have talked about the good things instead of the bad
@@LokiLagoon maybe additionally would be a better word?? Idk words are hard but I made it pretty clear that I agreed with what she had to say and also had more to add that were things I felt were also important.
I feel like the pizzicato violin backing track is kind of a common trope in reality tv. Like, I've seen it in a lot of home improvement shows, where they'll play it when some one is struggling with some DIY projects, or something.
It's very common and used as a sort of short hand that something is supposed to be funny. Not too dissimilar to a laugh track in sitcoms.
Guess my point is. It is pretty common, and likely not something they did deliberately to make fun of autism.
I get that, but the problem is that they use it for comedic effect in "Love On The Spectrum" even when something isn't actually funny; like the participants, saying something that isn't socially acceptable, or stimming, or yaking longer to answer a question, or even just showing nervousness. That is very much laughing AT someone, not with them.
I appreciated this show, in all of its iterations. It put faces on the diagnosis, and left you feeling total nothing but compassion for them. They are me.
Tbh, even before the "leaks" came out, I already knew people who disliked Ellen. I never watched the show more than a few minutes here and there but people were always pointing out exactly that, that she was playing a lot with the line of laughing with and laughing at.
She is also not very liked by the Canadian Inuit community as evidenced in Angry Inuk by Alethea Arnaquq-Baril, as a lot of her acts of perfomative environmental activism hurt Inuit communities that already rely on traditional food sources like seal and whale hunting because of food insecurity. It was very vitriolic and had very real serious consequences like Inuk singer activist and artist Tanya Tagaq being sent death threats and photoshopped shock-gore over Twitter by online strangers because she posted an innocent photo of one of her kids when they were a baby next to a fresh seal catch provided by a relative or by the community at large. I never really liked Ellen she gave me a lot of bad energy even as a young kid, like a toxic and manipulative parent partner or friend that says one thing but says another about you behind your back when you're not in the room. This is not new in terms of Ellen's behaviour to be honest she's always been this two-faced and dishonest she's just been really good at hiding it behind her charismatic milquetoast persona made for daytime television and has the money to shut people up. I'm just glad people are starting to realize how disingenuous and fake she is
Last week, a woman came to my school to talk to me, and asses me for Complex Communication Needs (CCN), which includes autism. This is the first step towards a diagnosis, and was possible very largely because of your channel - which I discovered 6 months ago. It went okay - I made sure to steer the conversation towards autistic traits at every opportunity and not force myself to make eye contact when it was uncomfortable. Thank you 🧡
yay!
Congrats on taking that first step!
When they shoot reality shows, the contestants usually sell the right to their image... The producers will cut together whatever footage they have to produce a story, even if it makes the contestants look awful.
In a documentary series, the participants ultimately are supposed to have final say in whether the final product gets released. If that ethos has been maintained, it's justified that they're not getting paid, because in that case they're not selling the rights to their image, and can withdraw their image from the show.
Thank you for making this. Even though I mostly liked it and have smiled, laughed and cried a lot, I've had some bad taste in my mouth after watching the series.
1) I agree on the infantilising.
2) I think the like/dislike presentation is cute and relatable! However, sensory stuff should have been explained more in the series.
3) I wish there was more variety in the cast. It seems to me that 9 out of 10 really struggle with conversations, speech and facial expressions. Leaving the audience to think this is the majority of autism and feed the existence of the sentence "but you don't look autistic".
Even if you kind of know your way with facial expressions, speech and stuff, there's SO much with dating and being in a relationship that is really hard as a nevrodivergent person.
they also used likes and dislikes for neurotypicals too
Likes: Rock and Metal Music
Dislikes: Disorganized rooms
🤘
Like: Rock and Metal Music
Dislikes: Organized rooms (I get cleaning is necessary but if they don't look lived in, it feels constricting)
My sister had sent a clip from it because a cast member was from our town, which we don’t see often. My family was happy to see where we live represented by a very kind person.
It’s a shame the show comes with its issues but that’s to be expected with reality tv, unfortunately.
I’m honestly so used to people being annoyed with me and saying that I’m selfish and weird for my sensory issues.
Same. I wish they could feel what I feel for a day.
not really related to this video but thank you for posting about autism and just your experience as a whole, its made me feel so seen and i genuinely never thought i would find a community that was the same as me and your channel has helped me through so much
Any of the cast in any reality TV show should be paid, because ultimately they're the ones making the money for whatever company is broadcasting them, along with the rest of the crew. I understand what, for example, the family member was saying that the show was a priceless experience for her brother, or any of the members not needing the money. But I think regardless, there's no excuse for these multi-billion dollar corporations to get away with not paying their cast members for essentially creating the content for them (again, along with the crew, who are paid!)
I’d be really interested in a video about why “everyone is a little autistic” is wrong and harmful. My parents said this when I told them I was diagnosed and I didn’t really know what to say except that “there’s a difference between having traits that align with autism and meeting the diagnostic criteria” but I wasn’t really satisfied with that answer cause I felt it was more of a threshold explanation than a structural difference. As a side note, thank you so much for your videos, they were a major part in me seeking my diagnosis!
Yes! I hear this from friends and find it really upsetting
It often becomes an excuse for abuse. It also downplays our needs and needs for assistance, sometimes to a dangerous level. If I needed assistance, or was overwhelmed, or abused by a peer, at best, I would receive an eyeroll followed by silence from the person I am coming to for help. This results in heavy masking and fawning (which is dangerous).
That saying comes from an attitude of "you're fine, get over it and grow up." Which is a pretty awful one to have towards anyone with a disability.
It’s so hurtful when your loved ones say stuff like this, 😔
I always get this when talking about Love on the Spectrum with people when it's so obviously false. No one would be watching this show if that were true! It's a freak show not a show about people's common idiosyncrasies!
I said to my mom that if "everyone's a little autistic, then no one actually is"
I really feel the "being unable to leave a situation without feeling guilty"... I have stood through so many conversations(conversations i enjoyed) damn near about to pee my pants
People laugh and say I'm funny all the time... they laugh a little less when I respond with a blank stare, confused, because I was being serious.
Likes: Birds
Dislikes: Texture of carpet
Another bird enjoyer! Hello! :D
I LOVE BIRDS
@@ville__ No you don’t all you do is spam lol
@@mad_xaTTepbe nice
i’ve been watching love on the spectrum with my mother and i’m being assessed for autism thanks to your videos i’ve been able to find out a-lot more about it to understand it and me more.
Thanks for this! I recently saw the trailer on Netflix and was interested but also reluctant, in case I'd be inadvertently supporting an exploitative program.
I'm glad that I can watch it while being aware of what its flaws are. I do like learning more about other ND people as it helps me learn more about myself. I relate so hard to Tanner's concerns about his eyebrows; when I was in high school I got bullied for "walking weird" and I stressed over how I should walk for a loooooong time.
I'm autistic and I don't agree with people who say that 'Love On The Spectrum' and 'Love On The Spectrum: US' infantilize autists. I can see where they're coming from when it comes to the music score being fit for something like 'Too Cute', but I don't have a problem with it. I think that the music compositions are fine. I like both series. I agree that having interviews in place of only stating a participant's likes & dislikes would be better though.
As someone who works in Film and TV, much like every tick box they use us and don't actually care. Bring back the damn meritocracy for recruitment.
Reality stars are paid, yes even on reality shows. So this is exploitative. I think I'll stop watching until they're paid.
Exactly. Cannot believe the people arguing in the comments against this fact. Did Netflix hire bots to defend them? Lol
I don’t think they needed to be paid? All expenses were paid. Have you ever had a dating coach fly into your city and make a house call?
@@patientzero5685 Other reality stars are paid
Most reality TV cast are living on set in terrible conditions. You would need to boycott all reality TV except the Kardashian style shows if that's your bar.. which would be v noble of you
The "Likes and dislikes sequence" for me would be
Likes: Mushrooms, Chemistry, Astronomy, Science, Minerals, Videogames, Music, Art, Movies, Series and fluffy things.
Dislikes: The existance of Bellpeppers(with a passion), loud sudden noises, the society, Babies and Felt textures, Random change in plans, the education system, Faschists
Why the f did I forget everything I hate for a second?
Is there some lore for your dislike for existence of bellpeppers? I'm curious
Its both. A person can enter into a contract fully aware of what is going on *and* still be taken advantage of. If you're so happy just to be getting attention instead of being invisible to media, you probably won't think to ask for things like equal pay.
That's been my experience. It's so hard to be treated equally that any little crumb of normalcy is unexpected. I think if Id been in the show, I would have taken being seen as a trade off for not being pay, despite it still being wrong.
likes; cheese
dislikes; long/complex instructions
same for me
I lost you at step 2
I LOVE CHEESE!!
Likes: feeling a slight ick about a show but watching it anyway and waiting for someone else to make an in depth video analysis before I form an opinion so I don’t have to do my own research
Dislikes: the texture of chalk
😂💛
A sexy time toy ad, a queenly decision 😂 brilliant
I really enjoy your content and I've learned lots about the autism spectrum since I first discovered your channel! I find a lot of stuff relatable and get so surprised when I see something that I do a lot that I never knew anyone else did. Also, this is super random but seeing your patrons in alphabetical order makes me so happy, I can't explain or express it well, but it gives me a warm feeling of euphoria.
And for the likes and dislikes:
Likes: Art, Music
Dislikes: Confusing and chaotic environments, Unexpected physical touch
Likes: Potatoes and Reading
Dislikes: Loud noises
Accurate!
Based potato lover
I like Furbys and Furby products released from 1998 to 2007 (I own over 50 Furbys)! I also like Shadow the Hedgehog, the color pink, typography, skincare, and alternative fashion. I do not like crowded areas, or being rushed through a store when shopping.
That might be what my likes and dislikes would look like on this show if I weren't already married. I loved the video also! I always felt a little funny about the show, but I didn't know how to put it into words.
I’m jealous of the furby collection
@@hannah-lk3oc I love my furbys so much. I have a spreadsheet for organizing which ones I have and which ones I don't, and the range of average selling prices for each one based on listings I've seen go in the past. Working on the spreadsheet is a hobby in and of itself, haha.
@@artsylotl I always wanted one but they all made noise so I put it off. Eventually I found one with cow print that was just a regular plush and not a talking one and I treasure him to this day
@hannah-lk3oc I just leave the batteries out of the electronic ones unless I want to play with them! I do love the little plushes (furby buddys) too!
I have an autistic friend who loves furbies too! They have an impressive collection as well, including a special modified long furby called long boi.
What I like about this show (especially the new season) is that I can see how dates can go where I feel comfortable and safe. I was diagnosed pretty recently and I always just went with what the other person wanted to do and wanted to do with me. Which led to very uncomfortable situations for me, but I always thought they knew what they are doing and I would just have to follow.
So that is something I am very grateful for to see how a date can be safe and comfortable for me.
When I first heard the music, I connected it with newness or some innocence regarding dating, because most of them have found it such a challenge. But now that you mention it, I can absolutely see how it can come off as infantilizing. I think if they wanted to play into the newness of the experience, there’s a way to have a more adult sound that says that.
likes: art supplies and grey sweaters
dislikes: synthetic fabrics and ketchup
Omg same
I remember when I was 14/15 going to my BF’s house and holding in a pee the whole time (hours!) as I was too embarrassed to ask where the loo was! It was so painful
I’ve done this so many times 😭 worst was once in 1st grade when I was sick. The nurse left the room and I was too afraid to go out to ask where the bathroom was, and knew she wouldn’t hear me if I called her. I also didn’t know if I was allowed to just open random doors to look for the bathroom. Hesitated for too long and ended up peeing myself lmao
*insert generic narrator*
Eduardo likes:
-Tigers
-Pop music
He doesn't like:
-The impeding spiral existencial crisis after contemplating his own mortality
-The smell of oil :D
I relate to the first dislike all too well.
Responding to the ad, haven't watched the full video yet, but I love how it's called "Megan's Vibe Giveaway" Always get the best vibes from this channel!
I haven't watched the show; I don't plan to.
However, the Likes & Dislikes "exercise" sounded amusing.
I like RPGs, but I don't like shooters.
I like reading and writing and I don't like being interrupted while I do so.
I like it when people say what they mean and mean what they say, for I do the same thing; I don't like being forced to guess intentions.
Same!
Likes: adding extra gear to my backpack to make climbing a mountain more challenging
Dislikes: getting up from the couch to make tea in the next room
My favorite youtuber sponsored by my favorite vibe company!! This is SO cool!
This is Aleister. She likes petting the crunchy fur right above her cat’s nose and decorating for Halloween. She dislikes direct sunlight and the smell of tomatoes. 😅😹
I agree about the music and likes and dislikes. Those always made me feel kind of icky, but overall, I love the show and am always excited when there’s a new season.
Crunchy fur 😭💛 I love this!!
This is one of my new favourite UA-cam channels that I found recently!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying 💛
Personally I really love Love on the Spectrum. It gave me hope in the dating world and I really enjoy seeing the stories, but they do certainly have some editing choices that don’t look so great if you look into it
Edit: also the thing you mentioned about masking. I’ve just come to realize, I do it all the time even without thinking when it comes to conversation and always having to be able to talk about something because of the energy. I almost feel like I can’t help it because it’s like an automatic click now but I get exhausted after interacting despite enjoying interacting with people because I always have to be upbeat.
Thanks for this! ❤
Fun fact: I am a wizard, therefore I was able to watch this entire video already and can confirm it is in fact...
Quite informative :)
First of all, the participants should obviously be compensated. Second, as someone who is (undiagnosed) autistic I do love the show and I find the awkwardness and weirdness of the cast very relatable and makes me hopeful. However, I can definitely see how for a lot of allistic people watching, the line would be crossed to laughing at the members in a mean way, versus laughing with them or the way you would a human who you have respect for. It's hard though, because the show does bring me a lot of joy and helps me feel more comfortable with some of my less socially desirable traits.
I disagree on the music sounding out of place in other dating shows considering how absolutely ridiculous the people on them can be, we should normalize it
Great video like always. Your outros are also really satisfying to watch.
Likes: Art and daydreaming
Dislikes: the new twitch streaming notification sound
Likes: Time travel stories (doctor who), stories with fleshed out well written characters, music, taskmaster, layered comedy.
Dislikes: Everybody filling me up with noice and not knowing what theyre talking about, people calling autism a spectrum and then generalizing it.
I'm obsessed with Taskmaster and British comedy panel shows. American here.
12 monkey show is pretty good as time travel show btw
kubera the last god is, a bit slow burn but , yeah its , its great. and just gets bette rand so well foeshadowed and , i just reccomand
I saw an ad for that show and immediately felt it was not only inappropriate but would be damaging to us as a community overall.
I’ve tried to educate my husband on autism ever since we got together. It’s so frustrating trying to explain myself. It hurts to know the cast members weren’t paid and some of the weird babying that goes on in the show, but I do love how diverse the cast is!
When my husband watched it (we just finished season 2 US), he said Dani reminded him of me a lot 😭😭 he said it was really interesting to get a better example of how people on the spectrum can experience love since I know he said I was a bit different with expressing my love and affection
“Aren likes to watch cartoons, analyze them, create theories, memorize lines, and animate them!”
“Aren dislikes restaurants.”
I love the Twyla profile pic!
@@tor8805 thank you!! she’s my favorite! : D
I think this was one of your best videos in which you tried to see the problem from different angles. This series is about people who need an increased level of support. And an increased level of understanding and protection from the production company and our community. I can only wish the protagonists the best for their future and hope that the support doesn't stop after the series ends.
Hi Meg, I haven't seen Love on the Spectrum but I enjoyed your insight into it!
It is a hard balance to strike between demonstrating life as an autistic so allistics have a better understanding and making sure that we're not being misrepresented for entertainment purposes.
Side note, I'm so glad I finally joined your Patreon! Looking forward to stepping out of my comfort zone a bit and interacting more with others.
Also, it sounds like you're a bit ill - hope you feel better soon! I appreciate you!
I think people who aren't autistic are attempting to be offended on behalf of autistic people. Kaelynn has said that's wrong.
I normally don't have many face expressions, and tham people aways point that at some moment. It's really different when they don't know what am I feeling and do some joke to make me comfortable, because it does includes me and make me even laugh. But there's times when they do it to laugh of me, make fun of how I'm quiet, not about embrace my quietness with it. Really different things with different ending.
When my autistic child was at school they'd not only act surprised that she had a sense of humour it became evidence of being 'normal' the same was said of her intelligence and capacity for study.
I think the reason perception matters so much is that the autistic person in many settings absolutely needs to be understood and if their symptoms don't look like the Netflix curated version then they suddenly have an insurmountable credibility problem on top of a pervasive neurodevelopmental condition. It's just horrible x
It’s the “THAT IS SOOO AMAZING YOU CAN DO THIS OR THAT DESPITE BEING DIFFERENT OR DESPITE HAVING THESE STRUGGLES…WHAT AN INSPIRATION!” that gets me…
And shows do these kind of things outside of shows specially about Autistic individuals like me and you…
Just take things like talent shows…it’s most often (not always, but most often) about the sad road they struggled through and can still do human things that wins the most votes…Yes! Allot of people have talent, but there are times that some people wouldn’t move forward if they didn’t have a dramatic sob story…
I’m not discounting anyone’s lives, but allot of times reality shows tell people to seem more sad and downtrodden or make people look like inspiration porn warriors in order to garner sympathy and that’s just the most annoying part of it all.
Autistic people don't get representation and people believe that disabilities are limiting: 🤬🤬🤬
Autistic people do get representation and people learn that disabilities aren't limiting: 🤬🤬🤬
I am autistic, and in general I do enjoy the show. I relate to a lot of the cast and it makes me feel seen having people like me on a netflix show, but I do have an issue with the infantilization happening in the show. It annoys me when people treat me like a child, so seeing other autistic people also being talked to like children really upsets me, but on the other hand i'm incredibly endeared by the editing of the show. It's cute, and I much prefer it to the editing and music choices of the other dating shows on netflix. The cast not being paid though, that greatly upsets me. They're putting themselves out there for netflix to monetize, they should be paid for their time.
As far as my likes and dislikes in the style of the show, mine would be:
Likes - Feeling textures in fabrics and tapping objects against my collarbone
Dislikes - Multiple people talking at once and artificial smells
I’m not the only one who enjoys it but can also see the flaws then they are pointed out. And yes, I fucking HATE when people talk to me as if I were a child. Does my enthusiasm, social “obliviousness” and big emotions give off a banal impression on people?
I'm late diagnosis and the result is that I haven't received the accomodations and assistence that would have made my life easier. As a result I have twice been homeless for more than a 18 months, and have constantly struggled to maintain employment (even when skllled and appreciated enough). My point is that I wouldn't be able to go on a show like this because, for example. I would be ashamed of not being able to afford the proper clothes. So a fee would make the world of difference to people in my situation.