Yep. I have the opposite problem, but I know some people who really struggle to the point of taking steroid medication to gain weight. Or they lost weight from illness or stress so it's not really something to celebrate.
Tessa Meyers I stated this on her post, it is extremely offensive of a question to me when people ask me that, I suffer from social anxiety already enough and then that person is apparently “celebrating” my looks now that I have “pleased” society and in reality that makes my social anxiety worse. Not to mention I’ve suffered from eating disorders and a severe health issue. It just makes you feel “not good enough”.
Really!! Are you telling me that I usually look like a tank? Please leave weight out of any commentary. I only say, "You look great!" or "You must be living right!"
Also, don't point out 'You're so quiet'. Is saying 'You're so loud' respectful? Then why the opposite? Don't ask anyone why they eat so little if it is disrespectful to ask why they eat so much!
wow, these are exactly the problematic questions for me. I'm naturally quiet and don't eat much, people are always pointing that out and making me very uncomfortable, it's borderline bullying sometimes... even made me want to leave a environment I really love. Glad that the people who used to do it a lot are no longer there, it's funny that I talk a lot more now without the pressure.
@@ccverdera6298 Honestly, I just laugh it off but I suppose saying something like "I just don't prefer to talk a lot" along with a little laugh should do the trick.
I get asked if I'm pregnant ALL. THE. TIME. I've lost nearly 50 pounds this year, and constantly getting that questions makes me feel awful about my progress.
It's none of their business honestly and you shouldn't feel awful. 50 pounds is a MASSIVE accomplishment they're tactless. Forget them. You're beautiful and congratulations.
I feel so sorry for you, you don't deserve that! Be proud of what you already achieved- many struggle with 5lbs already, many never even get started- 50lbs is such an achievement!
It’s a great achievement but whenever I lose weight I find it brings out nastiness in others. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re not trying to be mean, but they’re certainly not looking out for me either.
What about the question "What do your parents do?" I always felt like that question was a covert way of asking about someone's social status. I never liked that question. Why are you asking? Is it going to determine how you treat me? What do you think?
Answer their question lightheartedly & honestly. The problem is with how you feel & your perception to their question. It's not the answer that they judge you with, but how you answer it reveals the real you & how you peceive them. If it's no big deal to you that your parents are of low social status, then it's not going to be a big deal to them too. But if that question affects you & you think that "determines how they treat you", then it's as if YOU already judged them as snobbish you are ashamed of your parents & your social class. The thing about rich people (most of them) don't like liars.
The worst is that teacher ask that to kids on the first day of the school year. It has been proven that they are, consciously or not, influenced by the social status of the parents. Why bother helping this kids from the lower class ? He won’t go very far anyway...
This question makes me so uncomfortable! Especially as my mum was a 'homemaker' for a long while, which would often lead to a lot of unnecessary and judgmental comments.
By already making this judgement you’re already polarizing yourself between high and low social status. There has been many great and interesting success stories from humble beginnings. Take it as a compliment instead, that someone wants to get to know you better. We should be proud of our background/parents despite status.
It’s also rude to say “you don’t eat much” or have something to eat or you will disappear! What if the person is having a medical problem etc. It’s very rude
Elle I get that a lot and I think is so disrespectful! I’m 28 years old, 106 and 5.7 so I’m not happy when they asked that cause I keep myself eating healthy as I can . I’m just skinny .
Yes i had all those rude comments made to me and yes i have medical issues. It makes me feel horrible about myself and also makes me think less of the person making the comments
That's true! I was having very severe swallowing problems and people kept asking me why do I eat that little or why I lost weight. On the other side, I was fighting to survive (from not being able to swallow the food )
I often answer with the whispered question: "well, can you keep a secret?" Usually people then get very excited and answer: "Of course! Sure!!!" Then I will answer with a wink: "So can I!" and I am out... 😊
Also “are you sick” like hate that I’ve seen so many girls who decide for whatever reason not to wear makeup that day and everyone asks them if they’re sick like uhhh no
Married people with children asking people they just met the question "So, are you married? Do you have any children?" are very rude because the the other person could be single, in a partnership, separated, divorced, or widowed. And if married, whether they have children or not is their own business. Guess what? If they have children, the next questions will be "How many? How old are they? Are they boys or girls?" And if the children are in their late teens/early 20s, the next questions will be "Which university are they attending?" "What's their majors?" This just shows that most people are so predictable, ignorant, and boring that they don't have any idea what other topics to talk about after talking about the weather. Asking another person's marital status or children is an extremely private matter and should be avoided entirely specially nowadays that the divorce rate is so high.
@@petersmith2040 I do agree with you, but I must say, I feel that people who ask those kind of questions are trying to pigeon-hole you, trying to find out what your "Social Rank" is so that they can work out whether you are to be feared, revered or disregarded. They are desperate to see if they are "Better" than you.
To the age question I always reply "I'm 72" (when I'm actually 34) and add that I have very good genes. Some people realize that they've just asked a dumb question after that. Some look annoyed.
@@user-sh9xf4ht7p some people are offended by it, some people assume you might ask that because they look poorly aged! Not simply and innocently just inquiring.
While going through infertility treatments for several years I had to put up with people asking me when I was going to have kids. It was terribly hurtful and I never knew what to say because it wasn’t any of their business. Thanks for bringing this up!
My mom had two miscarriages between my younger brothers and so many people ask why they have such a big age gap between them, but they never realize how much it hurts my mother to have to answer and talk about it. 😔
as a young girl who lives in a rundown trailer and is lucky to get thrift shop clothes.....you Miss Anna give me more confidence than my own family....
@@sarahz2827 you know what, within the past 7 months, ive been open to a lot more things, learned things and experienced sooo much more than i could have ever imagined, this comment just absolutley made my day!!!
With the pregnancy question, there's also the risk they may have recently miscarried and are still carrying some weight up front-uncomfortable if not full on painful. Just DON'T.
Laurin Fairchild THIS. My teacher in sixth form had a pregnant wife and in class he said he needed to end the lesson because his wife had been rushed to hospital. I loudly blurted out omg is your wife pregnant (because I was shocked, there was NO ill intent) however he said he thinks so and rushed off. After he never came in for a while and I was informed that his wife miscarried. I felt so bad. I knew that it I didn’t mean any harm by asking but I do wish I had at least kept it to myself or at the very least asked him in private. But you live and learn 🤷🏾♀️
Laurin Fairchild true that, I had two ectopic pregnancies back to back and I gained and lost weight due to the complications and chemotherapy, and people kept saying “oh my god you lost weight.” So unfair because it’s so hurtful that I lost by baby and it triggers negative thoughts about my loss.
I don’t ask any of those questions but I’ve also never thought negatively about the people who ask them either. I think they just try to start a conversation but they’re not very good at it.
Do you have any conversation starter topics that don’t cross any of these lines? Cause I have definitely used most of these questions to start a conversation before and now I realize how rude I was!
@@miavnavarro if it’s someone you care about and you follow their social media or you know what they are up to, I guess it’s best to ask caring questions like how’s your new house? How’s your puppy? How’s your little ones? Etc. If it’s a complete stranger I don’t know. I’d go quiet. 😂
I'm so glad you mentioned the question about university. I feel like many people use this question as a way to rate someone on a scale of importance, but really it has always seemed like an empty and classless question! Many successful people never went to university and have way more interesting things to speak about!!
Yeah, or in my case when they ask which university you go to, and when I answer that I go to a local college, they say but you're smart so why aren't you in a better one. Or when they ask what you are specialized in the university and you answer them, they start debating your life choices and saying that you would've probably done better in another speciality.
As someone who has many interests I feel this question a lot. Like, I can't just go to college and choose one career because I love at least 13 more. So I'm trying to study by myself, but sometimes even after I explain it to them, they still make me feel worthless. And I don't know how to handle this question or any of the other ones to be honest, which is why I'm here. To learn.
One night at a friend’s party, I walked into this girl who’s a friend but not a close one. A few months earlier, she was celebrating the fact that she’s pregnant after going through several rounds of IVF and everyone was very happy for her. So at this party, I said, “Wow, you’re not showing at all!” In my mind, it was an offhand comment and I thought that perhaps she was careful about her weight gain. And she said ,”Oh, I lost the baby.” 😱😱😱 I apologized profusely. Luckily she didn’t seem to take offense but my gosh, I want the ground to swallow me! I still sweat when thinking about my thoughtless remark and have never commented on anyone’s pregnancy since.
I abhor the question: “What do you do for a living?” In the US, I think the majority of people are confused into thinking that profession and identity are synonymous.
As a child in the US your taught that asking what someone does for a living is an ice breaker question. Consider the intent when being asked this question. Usually, the person getting to know you is trying to give you the opportunity to speak freely about yourself. They are trying to show you a kindness. It's perfectly okay to respond I'd rather not discuss and change the topic to something you want to speak on. That is what the person asking the question is after in the first place. The intent is to get to know you better and they misguidedly went with something they considered a safe question. Intent is everything when it comes to questions.
And really, the fact that you mentioned psychological issues as reasons for being single and financial issues that are subjects similar channels brush over or ignore....shows how classy you are, down to your heart. Not put on, but who you really are, no matter any circumstances.
Here’s two big ones: never tell someone you think they look like some famous person even if you think it is a compliment. You don’t know if the person you’re telling thinks that person is attractive or not. When I was a teenager, people told me I looked like Belinda Carlisle. Total compliment - Belinda Carlisle was adorable and I’d be thrilled to get that compliment today. But at that time in my life, I was struggling with my weight and my self-image, and I perceived Belinda Carlisle as “the chubby one” (she wasn’t) and it didn’t feel like a compliment. The second one: do not comment on a person’s accent. Americans often find foreign accents charming and fascinating, so we think it is a harmless or even flattering question, but in many parts of the world, an accent is considered undesirable and the mark of an “outsider.” (Also related questions based on their accent or racial appearance, like “where are you from?”) Drawing attention to someone’s “otherness” has a good chance of making them feel uncomfortable at the least, if not insulted.
That’s overkill in my opinion. I lived in Spain for awhile and EVERYONE commented on my appearance and my accent. Who cares. I look different and sound different and I know it and so do they. Also it sounds like a personal issue if you get upset that people say you look like someone else. Way too sensitive and you’re expecting people to walk on eggshells.
@@AMcDub0708 yes, it was a personal issue in my case, not their fault, but if I have a *choice* of whether to potentially insult someone or make them uncomfortable, when I know it’s a risk, I would rather not. If I know it’s a risk and I do it anyway, and someone feels hurt, that’s not accidental on my part. This isn’t walking on eggshells, it’s just being respectful and kind. Just because you weren’t offended doesn’t mean it’s not considered impolite anywhere in the world. Like I said, Americans generally don’t mind being asked about their otherness. That has a lot to do with American privilege - pointing out otherness usually carries a connotation of relative status. You might not feel the same if you were the “other” from a lower status, less powerful, less influential country. In the context of what we’re trying to elevate ourselves to here with Anna’s advice, we’re trying to move smoothly through society and not be a bull in a china shop, and damn other people if they’re too sensitive.
“Is that real?”......I find this question so incredibly offensive and I’ve heard it several times (in regards to jewelry/handbags/nose/breasts etc). I find that it usually comes from JEALOUS and competitive women trying to cut me down and embarrass me. I detest these kind of comments. Personally, how would you answer? I feel like a response should be polite AND one to shut up the person asking (and make him/her feel stupid and rude for asking). Also, “when are you getting married?” and “when are you going to have a baby?” are also incredibly awful and invasive to ask. You are correct about mental and/or physical health being a very real and raw reason some us are single/childless. I think every year that goes by, people just become less and less decent in their manners. It’s gross and embarrassing.
Ppl are trying to get "Chummy" with you & insert themselves into your life more than you want them to! If you were THAT close friends or thought they should know, in YOUR mind you would confide in them before they asked, or not at all! It's just that Simple!
Leita Thompson I agree. I don’t believe a real friend would ask/need to ask these types of questions. I was more referring to acquaintances, coworkers, people you “have” to tolerate in social settings, and new people you meet who casually toss these questions about. I feel these questions are asked with the intent to pick on, hurt, cause a reaction, or somehow validate the asker’s sad life. How would you respond if whilst in a group (who you barely knew and/or didn’t care for) were asked if your bag was real? Or in a group setting of mothers were asked when you were going to have a baby if a) you and your partner were having difficulties in your relationship and didn’t want to complicate things more with a child or b) you had been trying for years and were unsuccessful or c) some other crisis was happening in your lives you didn’t want to discuss. I’m just trying to get some advice on how to answer these types of questions without telling people where to go and how to get there!!! 💁♀️
If you want to be polite, at the question 'Is that real?' you can answer 'I think it is, but I'm not so sure now you pointed out. Can you tell? Do you have experience?' and show them the piece. If it's truly a fake...you can play the victim and make them talk about their bad experiences or, if they have never been fooled, you can coat them with compliments on how smart and classy they are. Don't show them fear, just admiration about their skills (rather than what they own), so they want you around more.And when someone goes into personal subjects, instead of responding ask their opinions, the most sincerely possible, so you can get to know better that person (sometimes someone ask just out of habit) and you make them do the talk.Sorry, english is not my native language.
Which country? Here in Australia, 31 is close to the average age to get married. If you get married at all. I'm 31 and never been married but no one asks why not.
Well, same in Europe. Here they say why are you not married? You are pretty, smart, friendly and no man is interested? Well, if it is a woman asking, she is probably not very pretty. She thinks if you are single as a pretty woman, she will never manage to get a husband. Just relax and tell her you have lots of plans with your life and want to marry when you are ready to settle down.
@@doroparker1702 Mostly younger people here wouldn't mind getting married but they value buying a house or travel (two v expensive things if you're Aussie) over one day in a white dress for your aunt you barely know. I always say I'll only get married if I'm with someone from a culture that values traditional weddings. And if it's so important to them, they can organize and pay for it. I'll just show up on the day!
@Natasa ! Ooh glad to hear you're enjoying it here! I think it's impossible to say one country is more or less racist. My best friend is Chinese Aussie and he thinks Chinese people are more racist. I wouldn't know because I don't understand Chinese. Australia does have a problem, but it's mostly aimed at Indigenous and South Sudanese people. Even other migrant groups can be super racist towards them. So unless you're in those two groups, you're probably unlikely to notice it on a day-to-day basis.
Nobody expects blunt honesty, so make them equally uncomfortable by being bluntly honest! "When are you having a baby?" "Actually I don't want kids." "Have you lost weight?" "Yes, I am struggling with anorexia" my personal favorite " are you pregnant?" And just act like you have no idea what they are talking about.
Tessa Meyers this is what I’ve always done and it is golden! Even when someone once asked “what do YOU have to be depressed about?” I answered bluntly about a trauma I had recently gone through. They said they were sorry to ask a rude question, and walked away lol.
I was always taught to answer invasive questions with “why do you ask?” 9 times out of 10 the person KNOWS their question is rude and nosy so they will quickly change the subject. It allows you to turn it back on them without having to be rude or share anything at all that you don’t want to.
I keep being asked by some of my friends: "how is your love life? Have you found someone special yet?" The fact is that, I never talk about my love life with this kind of people just beacause of that: I dislike the gossiping and I know that's exactly what they want to do. They do not actually care about my love life, they just want to gossip. That's why, whether Im seeing someone or not, I never tell them. I like to keep this to myself and If you know someone a little bit, you ought to know what subjects do they like to talk about and what subjects they like to keep private, so I find it so rude that they insist and keep asking. I thought it was me, so I'm glad i saw this video to prove I wasn't wrong.
One of my ex-friend thinks like you. While I respect your view, isn’t it weird that I learned one year later that she was married ? 🤔 She was a close friend that I had known for 10 years.
I honestly don't even ask my closest friends about their love life or their boyfriends, I believe that if they trust me enough they'll tell me on their own.
@@leila_de_hautjardin that's so weird indeed and I wouldn't consider someone as a friend if they hide their wedding from me. I share my personal things with my closest friends and it also happened to me that a girl I considered as a close friend get married without telling anyone 😵😵
@Pengoto K I am not sure what your end goal is with that question. When I go on dates, I enjoy paying for both. There were a couple of men who felt I was trying to emasculate them. Perhaps it's a "damn if you do, damn if you don't" situation. I encourage you to discuss political views with someone you date and really like, if it's a subject of interest for you, and if your date shares that interest. However, you seem to ask belligerently, wanting to cause trouble on a occasion that should be relaxed and fun, as a date is. That makes it rude. If it boils down to money, it makes it even worse. If it triggers you so badly, you may want to find a way to discuss that BEFORE the date. Otherwise, you're just setting the date up for failure...
@Pengoto K Oh, my. I don't think you're in the right place. I believe you'd be much more welcomed on videos or certain websites that cater to angry men that hold vague, baseless grudges against a vast majority of people.
@@ms.x1669 I agree this is extremely rude to assume things of people's ability to own nice things. If I were to ask a simular question "how are you able to afford this? " It would be because A: I know you more than a passing aquaintence and it would be polite interest so I can get an idea what I need to do to rise to that level but not in judging. I may hazard a guess that the people asking probably ask because they think if you are a certain :status/color/age that you shouldn't have nice things. I find it insulting! Personly I don't have much means right now but it doesn't mean I'll wear tatty clothes things that don't fit or look like I've given up on life ..
- How old are you? Me: The same as you. How old are you? - Have you gained weight? Me: My mirror says no. Oh dear... You have something on your front teeth... Yes... It's gone. - Are you pregnant? Me: I was going to ask you the same thing. Are you pregnant? -Why are you still single? Me: I am not. I only talk about it with people I really trust. - When are you getting married? Me: Only those invited have already received that information. - When are you having kids? Me: It's funny that you ask. Studies have shown that people who have children have resentment towards those who have less life constraints and they apply peer pressure to feel less bad about their lost freedom. What's your opinion on that? - For any other questions: Me: Thank you for asking. (Pause...) As a general rule I don't ask or answer questions of that nature as I find them a little bit too penetrating. I hope you don't mind (smile).
I was wearing chanel earrings and a girl I’m working with asked if they were real. When I said yes, she googled the price of the earrings next to me... The most awkward moment in my life 😟
So many women just simply get tired of talking about their pregnancy and things baby related. They begin to feel just like an incubator instead of a person after awhile. Some women love the attention, but those are the ones that will bring up their pregnancy/baby on their own.
Oh my gosh YES! Everyone should know these “social graces”!!! I have been asked EVERY one of these questions and it was extremely uncomfortable...by family members! It’s very tacky to do this to anyone, especially in a social setting.
You touched on the comment "Is that real?" when someone sees a piece of jewelry! I learned MY lesson early on when I was about 8 or 9! My father was one of the managers for a Farm owned by an English Widow, who was a member of the Aristocracy! I used to play with her Granddaughters & one day while I was over for Tea, I said "Wow, that ring is so pretty, I bet that cost a Bundle"(an expression I'd heard on a Television program) She repremmended me by saying in her most stren British voice, "The discussion of the cost of things is Vulgar and young ladies should not be asking such a question"! I was embarrassed & apologized immediately! When I told my Mother she was Mortified & threatened to not allow me to visit them again, if I didn't mind my manners!😆😁
Leita Thompson At least you were a child and didn't know any better. What excuse do grown people, who should know better, have for asking such rude question?
"You're so pretty, what are you mixed with?" As a black woman, that is EXTREMELY rude. And I usually respond with "black and slaveowner" and watch the other person fumble for something else to say
Anna Heart you are horrible. As a light skinned woman, ignorant women like YOU don’t realize how RUDE you are. By insinuating that a black woman is beautiful because she looks unique or exotic, you are saying that she must have an additional race mixed with black BECAUSE BEING 100% BLACK ISN’T ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED BEAUTIFUL. So stop being so full of yourself, get out of your world and try to be more understanding.
Chris Tina yeah, I’m Native American and Irish. I get “oh you don’t look Indian”. I politely respond “well, you don’t look like an idiot but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt”.
Hey, Anna. This was a very thought out video, but I need a way to get out of answering these questions with grace (especially those who ask them constantly with malicious intent). Thank you for creating wonderfully feminine content. UA-cam lacks this type of content.
Do they gain pleasure to make someone feel unconfortable? I have faced all of these over the years i am guilty only about the religion part but after i apologized im just spiritual person and wabted to know more abd open a discussion always woth respect
I'm that kind of a person who hates personal questions in general, and whenever I meet a nosy person and they ask me I say politely " I don't like answering personal questions" so they don't move to the next question.
“ why are you still single” “ when are you getting married” “ do you have trust issues”!? 👈 “ how much mo money do you make!?” “ do you work” “ did you finish your school” “ why do you believe in that? I get that a lot Thanks a lot for making this video and I hope everyone would benefit from this
Many years ago, I was asked by one of my husband’s colleague (he just started working there a few months ago at that time) why we didn’t have kids. I told her we didn’t plan to have any kids. She then asked whether it’s because I couldn’t get pregnant that I said I didn’t want kids. How rude can a person be? That’s not all. She went on to ask us to lend her a substantial amount of money so she could start her own business! Such crazy woman! My husband doesn’t work there any more and obviously we aren’t friends with her any more.
That woman sounds like a rude and intrusive person seeking to take advantage of you and your husband. My husband and I are also "child free by choice". I'm familiar with the underlying criticisms and assumptions that can come from people in that regard.
People used to be like that about kids. It used to be the ultimate validation of a couple or the existence of people altogether. Thank God society is evolving now about disparity and personal and couple's choices, LGBT couples and personal development. Nobody had asked me "Do you have a permanent job or are you happy in your life now?" No! All they wanted to know was if I am married and if I have pondered one more child on this overpopulated planet.
@@jessykaiskander8569 i just wanted to give her a sincere compliment, that's all. My hair is naturally extremely curly so i know that " your hair looks better when it's straight " comments can be very annoying but that simply was not my intention.
I have been so pleased and impressed with the content you provide. I’m from the Caribbean, this particular culture expects women to be married, a homeowner and mother no later than 30 years old. For years I had experienced these uncomfortable, super inappropriate and intrusive questions. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it’s brought comfort and guidance to me moving forward.
My mom is constantly asking me: How much money is there in your bank account? " to me & other ppl casually. outrageous! I keep telling her don't ask. But she won't listen !
@@crarls27 Yeah ! She'll randomly walk up to ppl at our place of worship saying, "How much does your husband earn? " it's Insane ! As if that's normal conversation starter ! So many Indian women do this & think there's nothing wrong with it. I hate it !!
To me even that sentence is intruding particularly coming from someone I don’t know that well - I heard it several times before and was not appreciative of it.
I have a lot of hair and people either ask if my hair is real or if I’m wearing a wig. It’s just awkward and annoying. Sometimes I ask them a personal question back to teach them a lesson. People need some home training.
Black Rose i sometimes ask that question knowing it’s real hair. Then I tell the person she is sooo lucky to have so much natural beautiful hair coz I have very little hair. I don’t know how that cud be offensive if the hair is gorgeous and real
Well, just tell those people that you love and admire their hair. That you would be so happy to have some more hair. They might answer that they spend hours on their hair and it is a lot of work. But see, this is a conversation about hair and not offensive for them. Just make sure that people get you admire their look. Most people like to get a friendly compliment
LOL I totally do this all the time when someone asks me. I say, " Go ahead and take a good guess" usually they in turn become flustered and walk away or try to guess and I just laughed my butt off.
Doesn't work for me. I'm 32 and look 18 so they just think I couldn't possibly be insulted if I'm young or something. They just guess and ask if they were close :/
Im not so sensitive and dont mind if somebody asks me about age. Or if somebody asks my mom about her age. She is super conscious about it and answers. But we r probably different culture (central Europe) and very open people. Discussing salaries with others, age, and everything and I like it.
Honestly the "where did you study" question hits me the hardest since I was so chronically ill and just trying to survive. Some of us had the dream of going but were unable to at some point
Thank you for talking about these subjects. I agree it’s very unfair. Everyone is asking me when I’m having kids, and it just makes me feel bad. I lost 2 during pregnancies and a year in between to get pregnant again, and currently undergoing ivf, and it has been such a painful 1.5 years, and it is so unfair that people keep asking me about children, and not to mention hurtful.
When people ask me when I was having kids my reply was when you're willing to pay for all the cost of raising them. I only sent this to friends and not my family because my family would have said will pay for them.
Ah the kid one.... I get this all the time “oh you’d make such a great mother” ....... silence..... do you go through my daily activities uh no don’t give me advice if you’re just looking at me from the outside !
This is soooo needed today! So glad you made this video. It's a shame that grown ups have to be told not to ask embarrassing questions, but sadly, society is degrading and so is basic manners. I work with people at my job who always ask every question here you said not to ask. Worse yet, when I tell them I don't want to talk about it, they continue to press me. I dont know why a perfect stranger would be so concerned with how "old" I am, and "why don't you have kids?"...What makes people think it's not only ok to ask these awkward questions, but to keep pressing about it.
i feel you so much ! they are just jealous of you ! you should stop being kind with strangers there is no other way to deal with them ! (i am also trying hard to achieve it) just say "did i ever ask you how old are you" NO i dont care for you enough to ask you, while you do!
One of the rudest questions I've ever encountered was on my wedding day, when a guest at the wedding came up to myself and my husband and asked how much he was currently earning. The person in question was always very competitive regarding household income, but I was shocked at him bringing it up at our wedding!
Never ask if someone wants more kids. Because sometimes they have been trying for several years and have had traumatic miscarriages and failed IVF treatments. Very sensitive topic. Mind your own business people.
So true. People ask me why I only have one or when I'm going to have another so my son can have a sibling. Then I feel pressured to explain my health issues to them and how the wisest choice for my family is to stop at one. No need to risk having 2 but then leaving them without a mother by age 10.
I can’t have children and I can’t count how many times people have asked when I will. I don’t take it to heart but I do wish they’d stop, it’s not something I like to be reminded of. Even though I’m not particularly sensitive about it I don’t feel like explaining my medical history to everyone.
One mistake I have made with asking questions is not realizing the consequences of the answer before the words leave my mouth. I think Anna is pointing that out very well in this video. It’s awful when you’re talking to someone and you very innocently put them in an awkward situation.
“You need to have children of your own.” My boyfriend and I wish to adopt children when we are married . People feel the need to say this to me all the time whenever it comes up .
These questions truly are too invasive. It's people wanting to know about your personal life, that is reserved for close friends and family, but without doing the hardwork of proving that they are trustworthy and decent people. Why should I trust a random person with my life's important bits when they can't even be trusted to be polite with people.
"Why are you still single?" I heard so many times in the past 3 years, so sick of it... Oh, and also after this question you will hear "time is ticking." What the heel is this? :D Why people don't understand that better is to be alone, than with someone who doesn't respect you, doesn't love you and etc. I know so many people who is together with someone, but they not happy at all.
Imagine how heartbreaking it must be for someone who has just been dumped to hear this question. I've been there and it's been HARD to not burst in to tears when I've been asked this.
THANK YOU for touching on so many of these. I hated talking about my pregnancy to strangers when I was carrying and then everyone wants to tell me what to do or not to do. Truly all this is basic manners.
@@julijakeit I've also been asked if I was gay. I don't know why people always assume that you're unloved or a homosexual if you're not in a relationship
It’s the opposite for me ! My mother has pressured me to not date anyone since I was 10. And now she wonders why I am not married and not motivated to find someone...
@@venuselectrificata talk about yourself and if the other is interested he will tell you about himself/ herself. Nowadays no one likes questions unless they're very general.
sooo many people ask me why i don't have a boyfriend, and it's so annoying. my life is not centered around men and i personally feel like i need to work on myself first before i get into a serious relationship at this point.
Anna, I wish you and UA-cam had been around when I was younger. You are a blessing and all women can learn a great deal from you even if they don't want to be in exactly the same circles. Thank you.
Anna I love the fact that you openly bring forward topics about psychological/emotional issues because NOBODY is immune to them but more often than not people don't consider that the person standing in front of you could be going through just one period of those and the wrong questions can be heart-breaking. Everyone can learn more and more of thinking before speaking, it is so important, I have learnt a lot myself and still feel can improve.
I’ve literally been asked every single one of those questions. I was asked if I was pregnant when I was 22 and significantly underweight just because I was wearing an oversized t-shirt I had purchased in Disneyland. Needless to say, I never wore oversized t-shirts again... but that tactless question was not great for someone who ate one tiny meal a day. As you say, you never know what’s going on in people’s lives. I’ve also been asked how much my house/car/watch cost by people I’ve just met. They literally have no shame.
Probably my favourite video of yours. There has been multiple times when people ask these questions around me and i myself being present in the scene get so awkward even though the questions aren't thrown at me.
I get these questions a lot and specially when I travel: how old are you? Why are you single? Do you have kids? Or when I go to a restaurant and order an extra food and the waiter/waitress says that’s too much for one person? I have my reasons for all of these and I don’t really feel comfortable to discuss that with people I don’t know. Please stop asking these questions to anyone!
What restaurant/city/country are the waiters telling you you're ordering too much food? That sounds like bad business sense. But also so many cultures do the opposite. Insist you keep eating.
Elle Why one time I was I. Spain and went to a restaurant and ordered just one dish by myself and an wanted something to the side, and the waitress had too much nerve to tel me that’s too much for a person like me. I’m a small girl and the waiter just automatically assumed that I don’t eat much. But they don’t know people and shouldn’t be saying that at all!
Anna, I just love listening to you talk. Your accent and mannerisms are so soothing. And I have to agree with all of these. I don’t mind too much when people ask about religion or politics because I can deflect those pretty easily but the rest are so super offensive and are too commonly asked. Personally I would never ask any of these questions unless I was very close with the person. You are so right that you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors and your “innocent” questions might be very offensive and sensitive. Maybe the person doesn’t care if you know how old they are but doesn’t want the 6 other people at the table to know as well.
When I was pregnant at least five strangers asked me if my pregnancy was planned! It’s was the most bizarre thing. I said yes, even though it wasn’t because it’s none of their business!!
That’s such an important lesson to learn for soooo many people ! Sometimes I think the half world need your school of affluence teaching 🙏🏽😘it’s really true. All these questions was forbidden in my grandparents environment. My Irish granny had a school of household and coach maids and women , who wants to do a household in high society environment in the 1960 ies in Berlin . And as you say that , I feel deep in my belly „ yes“ I ever felt very uncomfortable with these questions. Honestly many Germans are very rude and decline that behavior how open minded they are and sincere. No! It’s NOT ! It’s cheap and rude manners 🤷♀️. So I adore your blog so much ! Everytime i feel lost or a bit insecure about answering something in business or from men , I hear your voice and advice and that keeps always a good silent distance to everything I struggle with and activate my lady gut feeling 🙏🏽Have a lovely Sunday ahead . Kind regards from Hamburg . Astrid
Some people are so rude , when I just lost my mother , I was meeting my friends for coffee and she was commenting how much weight I put on, who hurt me
Thank you for putting this out there Anna! A couple of those questions force the person to reveal personal info that is not something the person should be asked to do! Those questions are NOT appropriate ice breakers. I hate how alot of women will ask other women about kids or a husband with a tone in their voice like I am not doing anything important with my life if I do not have either of those "things". I can tell some just ask about kids because they want to relate with you quickly and they are using it as an ice breaker, and I am nice when I tell them I just have pets instead and ask them if they have pets. No one ever asks a man if he has a wife or children after just learning his name. I really hate that many find it acceptable for some reason to do it to a woman. I also wanted to mention that asking about religion or beliefs in a casual first meeting is a no-no too. Asking about heritage or ancestry "where/what country do you come from can be touchy too as the people could be from exile somwhere or for whatever reason might not feel like you are welcoming them, but singling them out. It is one thing if they bring up their family and you ask a general question about them, but no one wants to feel persecuted and the struggles people have in other countries or in coming to this one are real.
Couple days after my coleagues find out (not from me) that i will get merried, they already was asking - are you 3 months pregnant, even said, not asked. Fun/sad part that I'm not pregnant :D so it means im getting fat or what... SAD
A rude question similar to Question #8: “Is your hair real?” I sometimes wear synthetic hair as braids. But still, why do people ask this?? Do you want me to ask if YOU are wearing a wig? Probably not! So don’t ask me that!
I am not aiming to join the high society, but I love to watch her videos just for myself, my own value. And I am really happy to sometimes aknowledge, that I've already been following some rules that she talks about naturally.
I've had some of these ones. My favourite one was: "How does someone like you manage to own your own home?" My response: "What do you mean, sorry?" Erm, I worked...I took out a mortgage like any normal person! I also had the "How old are you?" question at work, and the person really didn't seem to get the hint that I didn't want to answer, and demanded that I tell them right in front of the whole office. I replied with: "I prefer not to answer that as I don't like being pigeonholed and I just don't enjoy that whole conversation." He replied: "You don't need to be offended," to which I replied, "You'd have to do a lot more than that to offend me, I just don't want to answer and I'm not going to!"
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
This is not just for affluent ladies this are BASIC manners
Yep.
Emily e
exactly , it's just commun sense , intimate questions belong to people with whom you have real intimacy with
amen. I love how my entitled family members act like it's okay to act like they have authority over my singlehood
who said this is just for affluent ladies?
My mother always had the perfect response to invasive questions: "Why do you ask?"
You knoowww, that would make the person asking so uncomfortable
I've used that myself. It's the best comeback :-)
Brilliant!!
Thanks for the reminder. Such a great comeback!
Natalie Anima agree, ruin the relationship.
"have you lost weight?" Is also a little intrusive. We never know what people are going through.
Yep. I have the opposite problem, but I know some people who really struggle to the point of taking steroid medication to gain weight. Or they lost weight from illness or stress so it's not really something to celebrate.
Tessa Meyers I stated this on her post, it is extremely offensive of a question to me when people ask me that, I suffer from social anxiety already enough and then that person is apparently “celebrating” my looks now that I have “pleased” society and in reality that makes my social anxiety worse. Not to mention I’ve suffered from eating disorders and a severe health issue. It just makes you feel “not good enough”.
Really!! Are you telling me that I usually look like a tank? Please leave weight out of any commentary. I only say, "You look great!" or "You must be living right!"
@@bogantellectual definitely! There are a lot of people with eating disorders, and this kind of a question can be really destabilizing .
@@SueHawkins6816 YES that is where my mind immediately goes. Was I a rhino before, or do I look like a skeleton now?
Also, don't point out 'You're so quiet'. Is saying 'You're so loud' respectful? Then why the opposite?
Don't ask anyone why they eat so little if it is disrespectful to ask why they eat so much!
Yes. I got all the time...."You eat lile a litle cute kitten"...
wow, these are exactly the problematic questions for me. I'm naturally quiet and don't eat much, people are always pointing that out and making me very uncomfortable, it's borderline bullying sometimes... even made me want to leave a environment I really love. Glad that the people who used to do it a lot are no longer there, it's funny that I talk a lot more now without the pressure.
Respect nowadays is so underrated... 😅
I’ve gotten the “you’re so quiet” one before as well. How would you respond to it? I am not sure how to respond it’s an awkward question :/
@@ccverdera6298 Honestly, I just laugh it off but I suppose saying something like "I just don't prefer to talk a lot" along with a little laugh should do the trick.
I get asked if I'm pregnant ALL. THE. TIME. I've lost nearly 50 pounds this year, and constantly getting that questions makes me feel awful about my progress.
It's none of their business honestly and you shouldn't feel awful. 50 pounds is a MASSIVE accomplishment they're tactless. Forget them. You're beautiful and congratulations.
@@bellemorte1646Thank you very much. That's very nice of you to say.
I feel so sorry for you, you don't deserve that! Be proud of what you already achieved- many struggle with 5lbs already, many never even get started- 50lbs is such an achievement!
It’s a great achievement but whenever I lose weight I find it brings out nastiness in others. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re not trying to be mean, but they’re certainly not looking out for me either.
People are rude as hell!
What about the question "What do your parents do?"
I always felt like that question was a covert way of asking about someone's social status. I never liked that question. Why are you asking? Is it going to determine how you treat me?
What do you think?
Answer their question lightheartedly & honestly. The problem is with how you feel & your perception to their question. It's not the answer that they judge you with, but how you answer it reveals the real you & how you peceive them. If it's no big deal to you that your parents are of low social status, then it's not going to be a big deal to them too. But if that question affects you & you think that "determines how they treat you", then it's as if YOU already judged them as snobbish you are ashamed of your parents & your social class. The thing about rich people (most of them) don't like liars.
The worst is that teacher ask that to kids on the first day of the school year. It has been proven that they are, consciously or not, influenced by the social status of the parents. Why bother helping this kids from the lower class ? He won’t go very far anyway...
This question makes me so uncomfortable! Especially as my mum was a 'homemaker' for a long while, which would often lead to a lot of unnecessary and judgmental comments.
By already making this judgement you’re already polarizing yourself between high and low social status. There has been many great and interesting success stories from humble beginnings. Take it as a compliment instead, that someone wants to get to know you better. We should be proud of our background/parents despite status.
llamacj so trueeee xxxx
It’s also rude to say “you don’t eat much” or have something to eat or you will disappear! What if the person is having a medical problem etc. It’s very rude
Elle I get that a lot and I think is so disrespectful! I’m 28 years old, 106 and 5.7 so I’m not happy when they asked that cause I keep myself eating healthy as I can . I’m just skinny .
Yes i had all those rude comments made to me and yes i have medical issues. It makes me feel horrible about myself and also makes me think less of the person making the comments
That's true! I was having very severe swallowing problems and people kept asking me why do I eat that little or why I lost weight. On the other side, I was fighting to survive (from not being able to swallow the food )
do a “how to respond” to these questions video please.
Yyyass
Just go like "Why do u ask"
Yes please!!!!!! I have been asked this questions “when are you getting married” and it’s so bugging!
I've heard #6 so many times and I never know how to answer to that
ExCuSe Me?!!?
I often answer with the whispered question: "well, can you keep a secret?" Usually people then get very excited and answer: "Of course! Sure!!!" Then I will answer with a wink: "So can I!" and I am out... 😊
@Flora MHK You will love the face the other person makes! 😉🤭
Good one!!!
You made my day 😘 😂😂😂
@@khalidatami517 That made my day! 🙏😊😊😊
That’s the dialog from movie “Maid in Manhattan”. But it’s actually useful though
Also “are you sick” like hate that I’ve seen so many girls who decide for whatever reason not to wear makeup that day and everyone asks them if they’re sick like uhhh no
Also saying you look tired...
Sarah D so true unless your saying that while surprising me with my fav coffee order 😉
True
That used to happen to me !! Like cant people see its just a no make up - face? I find that question very rude .
Kitty my mom asks me this lol . Like what are trying to say mom ??
Nobody actually asks these questions with good intention...
Bon Boni could you imagine “ you look fat, here sign up for my weight loss program!” Hahahahahaha 😂
Exactly! They’re being mean.
Married people with children asking people they just met the question "So, are you married? Do you have any children?" are very rude because the the other person could be single, in a partnership, separated, divorced, or widowed. And if married, whether they have children or not is their own business. Guess what? If they have children, the next questions will be "How many? How old are they? Are they boys or girls?" And if the children are in their late teens/early 20s, the next questions will be "Which university are they attending?" "What's their majors?" This just shows that most people are so predictable, ignorant, and boring that they don't have any idea what other topics to talk about after talking about the weather. Asking another person's marital status or children is an extremely private matter and should be avoided entirely specially nowadays that the divorce rate is so high.
Absolutely Boni
@@petersmith2040 I do agree with you, but I must say, I feel that people who ask those kind of questions are trying to pigeon-hole you, trying to find out what your "Social Rank" is so that they can work out whether you are to be feared, revered or disregarded. They are desperate to see if they are "Better" than you.
To the age question I always reply "I'm 72" (when I'm actually 34) and add that I have very good genes. Some people realize that they've just asked a dumb question after that. Some look annoyed.
Sorry but that is a childish actitude. I can't get why is so wrong to ask how old are you to a person. Is just basic information
I have done this so many times! Always works!
Lol
Lol
@@user-sh9xf4ht7p some people are offended by it, some people assume you might ask that because they look poorly aged! Not simply and innocently just inquiring.
While going through infertility treatments for several years I had to put up with people asking me when I was going to have kids. It was terribly hurtful and I never knew what to say because it wasn’t any of their business. Thanks for bringing this up!
I’m going through the same thing. I just answer politely but it hurts. Best wishes
Same. Two miscarriages later
@@Zswcde so sorry to hear that...people must learn manners ASAP...hope the best for u ladies💓💓💓💓
My mom had two miscarriages between my younger brothers and so many people ask why they have such a big age gap between them, but they never realize how much it hurts my mother to have to answer and talk about it. 😔
You'd be surprised how much of the general population lack in basic manners.
Lux Meow Soooo many people
I would not be. Most of it.
It is so true. I get asked "Why am I still single?" all the time.
Try working in the restaurant 🙄, and you won't believe how uneducated the society really is.
Frrrr
as a young girl who lives in a rundown trailer and is lucky to get thrift shop clothes.....you Miss Anna give me more confidence than my own family....
Keep it up hun! You can be the one to change the family tree ✌️
@@clairewillow6475 thank you sooo much!!! that means a lot to me!!
You never know the good that can happen to you! :)
@@sarahz2827 you know what, within the past 7 months, ive been open to a lot more things, learned things and experienced sooo much more than i could have ever imagined, this comment just absolutley made my day!!!
Stay strong girl 💓i love you even if i don't know you
With the pregnancy question, there's also the risk they may have recently miscarried and are still carrying some weight up front-uncomfortable if not full on painful. Just DON'T.
Yes. I had some friends who went through that very situation. They said it was a major triger to them.
Laurin Fairchild THIS. My teacher in sixth form had a pregnant wife and in class he said he needed to end the lesson because his wife had been rushed to hospital. I loudly blurted out omg is your wife pregnant (because I was shocked, there was NO ill intent) however he said he thinks so and rushed off. After he never came in for a while and I was informed that his wife miscarried. I felt so bad. I knew that it I didn’t mean any harm by asking but I do wish I had at least kept it to myself or at the very least asked him in private. But you live and learn 🤷🏾♀️
OMG ahhh noooo t.t. that did not crosed my mind! So awful.
So true and people asking those silly questions never consider that.
Laurin Fairchild true that, I had two ectopic pregnancies back to back and I gained and lost weight due to the complications and chemotherapy, and people kept saying “oh my god you lost weight.” So unfair because it’s so hurtful that I lost by baby and it triggers negative thoughts about my loss.
I get asked all the time by men “why an attractive lady like myself is still single” I find it very uncomfortable and brusque.
It is like they want to say there must be some problem with you.
Honestly! It’s like it’s not possible to be single by choice. 🙄 Such a silly question.
You and me both!!
I HATE this question yet get asked it ALL the time. I never know wtf I'm supposed to say...
It’s a privilege to be a woman and single; but no one’s ready for that conversation and insight
Thank God there is finally A Lady talking about these things !!!!
I don’t ask any of those questions but I’ve also never thought negatively about the people who ask them either. I think they just try to start a conversation but they’re not very good at it.
Thank you! That's definitely been me. I hope people can understand and give us stupid question-askers the benefit of the doubt 😅
It’s so obvious that it is or it isn’t a sensitive topic or question.
Ur right
Do you have any conversation starter topics that don’t cross any of these lines? Cause I have definitely used most of these questions to start a conversation before and now I realize how rude I was!
@@miavnavarro if it’s someone you care about and you follow their social media or you know what they are up to, I guess it’s best to ask caring questions like how’s your new house? How’s your puppy? How’s your little ones? Etc. If it’s a complete stranger I don’t know. I’d go quiet. 😂
I'm so glad you mentioned the question about university. I feel like many people use this question as a way to rate someone on a scale of importance, but really it has always seemed like an empty and classless question! Many successful people never went to university and have way more interesting things to speak about!!
Yeah, or in my case when they ask which university you go to, and when I answer that I go to a local college, they say but you're smart so why aren't you in a better one.
Or when they ask what you are specialized in the university and you answer them, they start debating your life choices and saying that you would've probably done better in another speciality.
@@siastories1229 don't hate them these are people who take pride in certified education rather than financial success
Right! I hate when people ask that! Like why does it matter??
As someone who has many interests I feel this question a lot. Like, I can't just go to college and choose one career because I love at least 13 more. So I'm trying to study by myself, but sometimes even after I explain it to them, they still make me feel worthless. And I don't know how to handle this question or any of the other ones to be honest, which is why I'm here. To learn.
One night at a friend’s party, I walked into this girl who’s a friend but not a close one. A few months earlier, she was celebrating the fact that she’s pregnant after going through several rounds of IVF and everyone was very happy for her. So at this party, I said, “Wow, you’re not showing at all!” In my mind, it was an offhand comment and I thought that perhaps she was careful about her weight gain. And she said ,”Oh, I lost the baby.” 😱😱😱 I apologized profusely. Luckily she didn’t seem to take offense but my gosh, I want the ground to swallow me! I still sweat when thinking about my thoughtless remark and have never commented on anyone’s pregnancy since.
mmm sorry was a good lesson learned
I abhor the question: “What do you do for a living?” In the US, I think the majority of people are confused into thinking that profession and identity are synonymous.
Easier on the pallat when you are proud of what you do.
Nedega Dolma yesssss...I hate when they ask this one. Annoying.
julijakeit You’re exactly right! I don’t want to be hounded for money, so I prefer that no one knows my net worth.
@@deeb8733 pallat?
As a child in the US your taught that asking what someone does for a living is an ice breaker question. Consider the intent when being asked this question. Usually, the person getting to know you is trying to give you the opportunity to speak freely about yourself. They are trying to show you a kindness. It's perfectly okay to respond I'd rather not discuss and change the topic to something you want to speak on. That is what the person asking the question is after in the first place. The intent is to get to know you better and they misguidedly went with something they considered a safe question. Intent is everything when it comes to questions.
And really, the fact that you mentioned psychological issues as reasons for being single and financial issues that are subjects similar channels brush over or ignore....shows how classy you are, down to your heart. Not put on, but who you really are, no matter any circumstances.
“How much money do you make?”, sounds rude and really intrusive and should be nobody’s business.
Angela Challita Dear, trust me , in some cultures is a common thing, to check about your cast and this things 🤷🏻♀️
@@aaziababy1912 You're right. My relatives are likely to be the ones who will ask once I get a job
Sian Sian and those cultures are backwards or lacking in basic manners , sorry
@@womang3821 I agree with you. Just because something's a cultural thing, doesn't make it OK.
One classy answer you can say is “Enough” and smile. They’ll probably get the hint that you don’t want to elaborate!
Here’s two big ones: never tell someone you think they look like some famous person even if you think it is a compliment. You don’t know if the person you’re telling thinks that person is attractive or not. When I was a teenager, people told me I looked like Belinda Carlisle. Total compliment - Belinda Carlisle was adorable and I’d be thrilled to get that compliment today. But at that time in my life, I was struggling with my weight and my self-image, and I perceived Belinda Carlisle as “the chubby one” (she wasn’t) and it didn’t feel like a compliment.
The second one: do not comment on a person’s accent. Americans often find foreign accents charming and fascinating, so we think it is a harmless or even flattering question, but in many parts of the world, an accent is considered undesirable and the mark of an “outsider.” (Also related questions based on their accent or racial appearance, like “where are you from?”) Drawing attention to someone’s “otherness” has a good chance of making them feel uncomfortable at the least, if not insulted.
That’s overkill in my opinion. I lived in Spain for awhile and EVERYONE commented on my appearance and my accent. Who cares. I look different and sound different and I know it and so do they. Also it sounds like a personal issue if you get upset that people say you look like someone else. Way too sensitive and you’re expecting people to walk on eggshells.
@@AMcDub0708 yes, it was a personal issue in my case, not their fault, but if I have a *choice* of whether to potentially insult someone or make them uncomfortable, when I know it’s a risk, I would rather not. If I know it’s a risk and I do it anyway, and someone feels hurt, that’s not accidental on my part. This isn’t walking on eggshells, it’s just being respectful and kind. Just because you weren’t offended doesn’t mean it’s not considered impolite anywhere in the world. Like I said, Americans generally don’t mind being asked about their otherness. That has a lot to do with American privilege - pointing out otherness usually carries a connotation of relative status. You might not feel the same if you were the “other” from a lower status, less powerful, less influential country. In the context of what we’re trying to elevate ourselves to here with Anna’s advice, we’re trying to move smoothly through society and not be a bull in a china shop, and damn other people if they’re too sensitive.
Someone told me once I would look exactly like Jodie Foster. I was not pleased, because I saw myself totally different.
“Is that real?”......I find this question so incredibly offensive and I’ve heard it several times (in regards to jewelry/handbags/nose/breasts etc). I find that it usually comes from JEALOUS and competitive women trying to cut me down and embarrass me. I detest these kind of comments. Personally, how would you answer? I feel like a response should be polite AND one to shut up the person asking (and make him/her feel stupid and rude for asking). Also, “when are you getting married?” and “when are you going to have a baby?” are also incredibly awful and invasive to ask. You are correct about mental and/or physical health being a very real and raw reason some us are single/childless. I think every year that goes by, people just become less and less decent in their manners. It’s gross and embarrassing.
T C it happened to me a lot I don’t why I got the « is that real ? » question a loooot (about certain facial features and designer accessories)
Ppl are trying to get "Chummy" with you & insert themselves into your life more than you want them to! If you were THAT close friends or thought they should know, in YOUR mind you would confide in them before they asked, or not at all! It's just that Simple!
Leita Thompson I agree. I don’t believe a real friend would ask/need to ask these types of questions. I was more referring to acquaintances, coworkers, people you “have” to tolerate in social settings, and new people you meet who casually toss these questions about. I feel these questions are asked with the intent to pick on, hurt, cause a reaction, or somehow validate the asker’s sad life. How would you respond if whilst in a group (who you barely knew and/or didn’t care for) were asked if your bag was real? Or in a group setting of mothers were asked when you were going to have a baby if a) you and your partner were having difficulties in your relationship and didn’t want to complicate things more with a child or b) you had been trying for years and were unsuccessful or c) some other crisis was happening in your lives you didn’t want to discuss. I’m just trying to get some advice on how to answer these types of questions without telling people where to go and how to get there!!! 💁♀️
If you want to be polite, at the question 'Is that real?' you can answer 'I think it is, but I'm not so sure now you pointed out. Can you tell? Do you have experience?' and show them the piece. If it's truly a fake...you can play the victim and make them talk about their bad experiences or, if they have never been fooled, you can coat them with compliments on how smart and classy they are. Don't show them fear, just admiration about their skills (rather than what they own), so they want you around more.And when someone goes into personal subjects, instead of responding ask their opinions, the most sincerely possible, so you can get to know better that person (sometimes someone ask just out of habit) and you make them do the talk.Sorry, english is not my native language.
No. It is lies and darkness. ;) Nice weather we're having!
I married at 31.
When people would ask me when I was getting married I always answered "OH NO! I knew I forgot something!l
Which country? Here in Australia, 31 is close to the average age to get married. If you get married at all. I'm 31 and never been married but no one asks why not.
Well, same in Europe. Here they say why are you not married? You are pretty, smart, friendly and no man is interested?
Well, if it is a woman asking, she is probably not very pretty. She thinks if you are single as a pretty woman, she will never manage to get a husband.
Just relax and tell her you have lots of plans with your life and want to marry when you are ready to settle down.
I'll use that one, thanks!
@@doroparker1702 Mostly younger people here wouldn't mind getting married but they value buying a house or travel (two v expensive things if you're Aussie) over one day in a white dress for your aunt you barely know. I always say I'll only get married if I'm with someone from a culture that values traditional weddings. And if it's so important to them, they can organize and pay for it. I'll just show up on the day!
@Natasa ! Ooh glad to hear you're enjoying it here! I think it's impossible to say one country is more or less racist. My best friend is Chinese Aussie and he thinks Chinese people are more racist. I wouldn't know because I don't understand Chinese. Australia does have a problem, but it's mostly aimed at Indigenous and South Sudanese people. Even other migrant groups can be super racist towards them. So unless you're in those two groups, you're probably unlikely to notice it on a day-to-day basis.
Could you talk about how to respond when people are asking these questions to you✨
I would answer: "What an interesting question to ask." followed by short silence and than talking about something irrelevant like the weather...
Shreya G If someone asks you something offensive respond by asking them what they weigh or how old are they. Lol!
Nobody expects blunt honesty, so make them equally uncomfortable by being bluntly honest! "When are you having a baby?" "Actually I don't want kids." "Have you lost weight?" "Yes, I am struggling with anorexia" my personal favorite " are you pregnant?" And just act like you have no idea what they are talking about.
Tessa Meyers this is what I’ve always done and it is golden! Even when someone once asked “what do YOU have to be depressed about?” I answered bluntly about a trauma I had recently gone through. They said they were sorry to ask a rude question, and walked away lol.
I was always taught to answer invasive questions with “why do you ask?” 9 times out of 10 the person KNOWS their question is rude and nosy so they will quickly change the subject. It allows you to turn it back on them without having to be rude or share anything at all that you don’t want to.
I had this friend that called me just to ask me "Is it true you got fat?" ....The most awkward thing was that I haven't talked to her for years.
That is terrible.
That is not a friend at all
I keep being asked by some of my friends: "how is your love life? Have you found someone special yet?" The fact is that, I never talk about my love life with this kind of people just beacause of that: I dislike the gossiping and I know that's exactly what they want to do. They do not actually care about my love life, they just want to gossip. That's why, whether Im seeing someone or not, I never tell them. I like to keep this to myself and If you know someone a little bit, you ought to know what subjects do they like to talk about and what subjects they like to keep private, so I find it so rude that they insist and keep asking. I thought it was me, so I'm glad i saw this video to prove I wasn't wrong.
One of my ex-friend thinks like you. While I respect your view, isn’t it weird that I learned one year later that she was married ? 🤔 She was a close friend that I had known for 10 years.
I honestly don't even ask my closest friends about their love life or their boyfriends, I believe that if they trust me enough they'll tell me on their own.
@@leila_de_hautjardin that's so weird indeed and I wouldn't consider someone as a friend if they hide their wedding from me. I share my personal things with my closest friends and it also happened to me that a girl I considered as a close friend get married without telling anyone 😵😵
It's so rude !
I had a friend that when asked when her and her husband were going to have children would say "we do it for fun, not profit!"
Omg.. Im dead 😂😂🤣😭
Hilarious
for fun 🤭
2 funny!!!
Q-Why are you still single???
Ans- Because I am over qualified 🙄.
I give the same answer for "don't you want kids?"
Lol
Amen
You can respond : I cannot show all my boyfriends and girlfriends at ones!
@@Anna-fw7lm I don't know what's wrong with them???they are struggling with there married life and force me to get married.I mean seriously 🙄.
When I'm asked, "Is that real?" I answer without sarcasm in a joking way: If you can see it, it Must be real!
Right! That is MUCH better than saying no!
That's a good one. I have been wanting a good comeback for those "fake vs real" questions 👍
Good response!
😂
I love when she says ladies🤗🤗
Another one is "are you gay or straight?" "You're not gay, are you?" or "Are you one of those feminists?" All loaded questions.
@Pengoto K I am not sure what your end goal is with that question. When I go on dates, I enjoy paying for both. There were a couple of men who felt I was trying to emasculate them. Perhaps it's a "damn if you do, damn if you don't" situation. I encourage you to discuss political views with someone you date and really like, if it's a subject of interest for you, and if your date shares that interest. However, you seem to ask belligerently, wanting to cause trouble on a occasion that should be relaxed and fun, as a date is. That makes it rude. If it boils down to money, it makes it even worse. If it triggers you so badly, you may want to find a way to discuss that BEFORE the date. Otherwise, you're just setting the date up for failure...
@Pengoto K Oh, my. I don't think you're in the right place. I believe you'd be much more welcomed on videos or certain websites that cater to angry men that hold vague, baseless grudges against a vast majority of people.
Weird questions
I was asked this question in a medical clinic. They also wanted to know whether I'm a woman or?
Especially of they're assuming you're gay when you're just not interested in dating at the moment.
The one I hate, even when people ask me is "how come you can afford that at your age? "- stop it
they just might want to know how you got in a a financially stable situation because they may not be there themselves..
@@HosCreates True, but most of the time you can hear it in their tone of voice when that isn't the case
@@ms.x1669 I agree this is extremely rude to assume things of people's ability to own nice things. If I were to ask a simular question "how are you able to afford this? " It would be because A: I know you more than a passing aquaintence and it would be polite interest so I can get an idea what I need to do to rise to that level but not in judging. I may hazard a guess that the people asking probably ask because they think if you are a certain :status/color/age that you shouldn't have nice things. I find it insulting! Personly I don't have much means right now but it doesn't mean I'll wear tatty clothes things that don't fit or look like I've given up on life ..
- How old are you?
Me: The same as you. How old are you?
- Have you gained weight?
Me: My mirror says no. Oh dear... You have something on your front teeth... Yes... It's gone.
- Are you pregnant?
Me: I was going to ask you the same thing. Are you pregnant?
-Why are you still single?
Me: I am not. I only talk about it with people I really trust.
- When are you getting married?
Me: Only those invited have already received that information.
- When are you having kids?
Me: It's funny that you ask. Studies have shown that people who have children have resentment towards those who have less life constraints and they apply peer pressure to feel less bad about their lost freedom. What's your opinion on that?
- For any other questions:
Me: Thank you for asking. (Pause...) As a general rule I don't ask or answer questions of that nature as I find them a little bit too penetrating. I hope you don't mind (smile).
Sunday Pie Good answers!
These are great. Keeping these
Smart answers.
I love this !!
These answers are brilliant!!
I was wearing chanel earrings and a girl I’m working with asked if they were real. When I said yes, she googled the price of the earrings next to me... The most awkward moment in my life 😟
Girl that’s so awkward
Gosh, that's so rude!
Anna,
Unless I see the baby’s head crowning, I never ask if a woman is pregnant! 😂😬😅
So many women just simply get tired of talking about their pregnancy and things baby related. They begin to feel just like an incubator instead of a person after awhile. Some women love the attention, but those are the ones that will bring up their pregnancy/baby on their own.
LOL 😂
I've become comfortable with knowing that just because someone asks you a question.... Doesn't mean you have to give them an answer😘
Oh my gosh YES! Everyone should know these “social graces”!!!
I have been asked EVERY one of these questions and it was extremely uncomfortable...by family members!
It’s very tacky to do this to anyone, especially in a social setting.
🙅♀️ as a southern girl, I’d never ask these questions !
Bless their heart...
* sips sweet tea *
😁
It gave me a little chuckle when you added the sips tea at the end! Made my day
Drinks iced chocolate milk during curfew 😁
You touched on the comment "Is that real?" when someone sees a piece of jewelry! I learned MY lesson early on when I was about 8 or 9! My father was one of the managers for a Farm owned by an English Widow, who was a member of the Aristocracy! I used to play with her Granddaughters & one day while I was over for Tea, I said "Wow, that ring is so pretty, I bet that cost a Bundle"(an expression I'd heard on a Television program) She repremmended me by saying in her most stren British voice, "The discussion of the cost of things is Vulgar and young ladies should not be asking such a question"! I was embarrassed & apologized immediately! When I told my Mother she was Mortified & threatened to not allow me to visit them again, if I didn't mind my manners!😆😁
Leita Thompson At least you were a child and didn't know any better. What excuse do grown people, who should know better, have for asking such rude question?
I would ask them every time then. Love to embarass these wannabe rich people hahahahaha
LGT reprimanded*
"You're so pretty, what are you mixed with?"
As a black woman, that is EXTREMELY rude. And I usually respond with "black and slaveowner" and watch the other person fumble for something else to say
omfg I'm using this from now on. "Indian and colonizer."
Oh I get this one all of the time and they say weird things like you’re so exotic! It’s so weird like do you think I’m some sort of tropical bird.
Anna Heart you are horrible. As a light skinned woman, ignorant women like YOU don’t realize how RUDE you are. By insinuating that a black woman is beautiful because she looks unique or exotic, you are saying that she must have an additional race mixed with black BECAUSE BEING 100% BLACK ISN’T ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED BEAUTIFUL. So stop being so full of yourself, get out of your world and try to be more understanding.
Chris Tina yeah, I’m Native American and Irish. I get “oh you don’t look Indian”. I politely respond “well, you don’t look like an idiot but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt”.
Anna Heart and your grammar is atrocious!!! It’s THOSE and GENES, you troll!!!
Hey, Anna. This was a very thought out video, but I need a way to get out of answering these questions with grace (especially those who ask them constantly with malicious intent). Thank you for creating wonderfully feminine content. UA-cam lacks this type of content.
Some people ask rude questions on purpose. To be confronting. Unpleasant!
Do they gain pleasure to make someone feel unconfortable? I have faced all of these over the years i am guilty only about the religion part but after i apologized im just spiritual person and wabted to know more abd open a discussion always woth respect
I'm that kind of a person who hates personal questions in general, and whenever I meet a nosy person and they ask me I say politely " I don't like answering personal questions" so they don't move to the next question.
The way to handle it. You just don't need to get offended about these things.
Yes question 4 and 5 are my reasons why I avoid people..they make me feel like it’s my fault or my value is linked to being in a relationship 💔😩
and when it's not your value seems to be linked with your career and accomplishments. People like that usually gossip and have overall bad manners
The same here 😢. I've been single for 3 years now and a friend just keep mentioning it
Also a person might have just gone through a break up, it's a sensitive subject
“ why are you still single”
“ when are you getting married”
“ do you have trust issues”!? 👈
“ how much mo money do you make!?”
“ do you work”
“ did you finish your school”
“ why do you believe in that?
I get that a lot
Thanks a lot for making this video and I hope everyone would benefit from this
Do I go to school ? Bro mind ur business lol
When someone asks what something cost, I always answer - it was a gift.
“When are you having kids?” ..people/family/friends asked me that question 1000 times for years!! So rude!!
Many years ago, I was asked by one of my husband’s colleague (he just started working there a few months ago at that time) why we didn’t have kids. I told her we didn’t plan to have any kids. She then asked whether it’s because I couldn’t get pregnant that I said I didn’t want kids. How rude can a person be? That’s not all. She went on to ask us to lend her a substantial amount of money so she could start her own business! Such crazy woman! My husband doesn’t work there any more and obviously we aren’t friends with her any more.
That woman sounds like a rude and intrusive person seeking to take advantage of you and your husband. My husband and I are also "child free by choice". I'm familiar with the underlying criticisms and assumptions that can come from people in that regard.
@@matzohgirl LOL
@@matzohgirl great sarcasm 😂😂
People used to be like that about kids. It used to be the ultimate validation of a couple or the existence of people altogether. Thank God society is evolving now about disparity and personal and couple's choices, LGBT couples and personal development. Nobody had asked me "Do you have a permanent job or are you happy in your life now?" No! All they wanted to know was if I am married and if I have pondered one more child on this overpopulated planet.
S Mapelish woah that blows my mind 🤦♀️
Straight hair looks sooo good on you!
Yes. Especially when they know your hair is naturally curly..."your hair looks so much better straight." Please keep your comments to yourself.
Say "Yes, I tried something new! But I love my curls, you know you should try curling your hair!"
@@jessykaiskander8569 I believe @timburton'snightmare was actually complimenting Ana on how she is wearing her hair in this video
@@jessykaiskander8569 i just wanted to give her a sincere compliment, that's all. My hair is naturally extremely curly so i know that " your hair looks better when it's straight " comments can be very annoying but that simply was not my intention.
@@MissAnatance yeah exactly! I just wanted to give her a compliment but i think people misunderstood it. that's fine tho, stuff happens
I have been so pleased and impressed with the content you provide. I’m from the Caribbean, this particular culture expects women to be married, a homeowner and mother no later than 30 years old. For years I had experienced these uncomfortable, super inappropriate and intrusive questions. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it’s brought comfort and guidance to me moving forward.
I just subscribed you. You’re very logical and I like how you stand on whatever you believe in. And that’s power and independence.
My mom is constantly asking me: How much money is there in your bank account? " to me & other ppl casually. outrageous! I keep telling her don't ask. But she won't listen !
salonika101 turn the tables on her. Respond by Asking her the same questions. You will see how fast she clams up
@@matzohgirl I like that ! I'm gonna say that next time she's so intrusive.
That's so weird! Lol!
@@crarls27 Yeah ! She'll randomly walk up to ppl at our place of worship saying, "How much does your husband earn? " it's Insane ! As if that's normal conversation starter ! So many Indian women do this & think there's nothing wrong with it. I hate it !!
what?!!!!! omg i'm laughing hysterically!
Instead of asking a lady if she's pregnant I just say " *Girl, you are glowing!!!* " and see where they lead the conversation
That's awesome! Thank you for that 🥰
But you're still prying into a private matter in a sneaky way😕
Absolutely not lol. It’s always just sweat 🤣 you’re calling us sweaty.
To me even that sentence is intruding particularly coming from someone I don’t know that well - I heard it several times before and was not appreciative of it.
Majors insecurities makes people uncomfortable with these statements...
I have a lot of hair and people either ask if my hair is real or if I’m wearing a wig. It’s just awkward and annoying. Sometimes I ask them a personal question back to teach them a lesson. People need some home training.
Black Rose i sometimes ask that question knowing it’s real hair. Then I tell the person she is sooo lucky to have so much natural beautiful hair coz I have very little hair. I don’t know how that cud be offensive if the hair is gorgeous and real
Well, just tell those people that you love and admire their hair. That you would be so happy to have some more hair. They might answer that they spend hours on their hair and it is a lot of work.
But see, this is a conversation about hair and not offensive for them. Just make sure that people get you admire their look. Most people like to get a friendly compliment
Let me guess: people ask you why you don't get your hair straight? After all "you are so pretty, you would look great with straight hair".
Say "Why yes it is! Thank you for the compliment!" (it probably looks so good that people think it's fake)
I detest small talk, and I'm ever so grateful to be an introvert at this point.
When I get asked how old I am, I usually reply: "How old do you think I am?". Boom! The ball is on your roof now!
LOL I totally do this all the time when someone asks me. I say, " Go ahead and take a good guess" usually they in turn become flustered and walk away or try to guess and I just laughed my butt off.
Doesn't work for me. I'm 32 and look 18 so they just think I couldn't possibly be insulted if I'm young or something. They just guess and ask if they were close :/
@@Emily789 go BURMP!! Real loudly , then say wrong ! Just laugh and dont answer. Change the subject or walk away.
I say that "haven't you been told that it's rude to ask a woman her age?"
Im not so sensitive and dont mind if somebody asks me about age. Or if somebody asks my mom about her age. She is super conscious about it and answers. But we r probably different culture (central Europe) and very open people. Discussing salaries with others, age, and everything and I like it.
Honestly the "where did you study" question hits me the hardest since I was so chronically ill and just trying to survive. Some of us had the dream of going but were unable to at some point
Elizabeth Blanford No loss sister! You would have only paid for your own Marxist indoctrination.
Thank you for talking about these subjects. I agree it’s very unfair. Everyone is asking me when I’m having kids, and it just makes me feel bad. I lost 2 during pregnancies and a year in between to get pregnant again, and currently undergoing ivf, and it has been such a painful 1.5 years, and it is so unfair that people keep asking me about children, and not to mention hurtful.
When people ask me when I was having kids my reply was when you're willing to pay for all the cost of raising them. I only sent this to friends and not my family because my family would have said will pay for them.
😂😂 everything for grandchildren 😀
Damn, my mom just wants me to be able to take care of her 😅😅😅💀💀💀
Ah the kid one.... I get this all the time “oh you’d make such a great mother” ....... silence..... do you go through my daily activities uh no don’t give me advice if you’re just looking at me from the outside !
Haha true Haitian parents/church folks do the same. After I got married everyone wants us to have a baby.
hahah literally same w my family my mom is all like "dont worry if you get pregnant ill take care of it" im like djfkla nononoo
This is soooo needed today! So glad you made this video. It's a shame that grown ups have to be told not to ask embarrassing questions, but sadly, society is degrading and so is basic manners. I work with people at my job who always ask every question here you said not to ask. Worse yet, when I tell them I don't want to talk about it, they continue to press me. I dont know why a perfect stranger would be so concerned with how "old" I am, and "why don't you have kids?"...What makes people think it's not only ok to ask these awkward questions, but to keep pressing about it.
i feel you so much ! they are just jealous of you ! you should stop being kind with strangers there is no other way to deal with them ! (i am also trying hard to achieve it) just say "did i ever ask you how old are you" NO i dont care for you enough to ask you, while you do!
One of the rudest questions I've ever encountered was on my wedding day, when a guest at the wedding came up to myself and my husband and asked how much he was currently earning. The person in question was always very competitive regarding household income, but I was shocked at him bringing it up at our wedding!
Tacky 😬
Never ask if someone wants more kids. Because sometimes they have been trying for several years and have had traumatic miscarriages and failed IVF treatments. Very sensitive topic. Mind your own business people.
So true
This happened to me many times...so hurtful.
Yes, I get that questions all the time. Why don't you have kids?? I want to answer with, none of your damn business!!
So true. People ask me why I only have one or when I'm going to have another so my son can have a sibling. Then I feel pressured to explain my health issues to them and how the wisest choice for my family is to stop at one. No need to risk having 2 but then leaving them without a mother by age 10.
If everybody will mind their own business we'll never be able to create relationhships.
I can’t have children and I can’t count how many times people have asked when I will. I don’t take it to heart but I do wish they’d stop, it’s not something I like to be reminded of. Even though I’m not particularly sensitive about it I don’t feel like explaining my medical history to everyone.
I must confess that I have already asked nearly all these questions. Never too late to learn a lesson.
One mistake I have made with asking questions is not realizing the consequences of the answer before the words leave my mouth. I think Anna is pointing that out very well in this video. It’s awful when you’re talking to someone and you very innocently put them in an awkward situation.
“You need to have children of your own.”
My boyfriend and I wish to adopt children when we are married . People feel the need to say this to me all the time whenever it comes up .
I love how you know this. Not many people have the manners you do and I just love that you are explaining why we shouldnt ask these questions EVER!!
These questions truly are too invasive. It's people wanting to know about your personal life, that is reserved for close friends and family, but without doing the hardwork of proving that they are trustworthy and decent people.
Why should I trust a random person with my life's important bits when they can't even be trusted to be polite with people.
"Why are you still single?" I heard so many times in the past 3 years, so sick of it... Oh, and also after this question you will hear "time is ticking." What the heel is this? :D Why people don't understand that better is to be alone, than with someone who doesn't respect you, doesn't love you and etc. I know so many people who is together with someone, but they not happy at all.
Imagine how heartbreaking it must be for someone who has just been dumped to hear this question. I've been there and it's been HARD to not burst in to tears when I've been asked this.
I agree. It is so unbelievably rude. The best company you have is your own!
THANK YOU for touching on so many of these. I hated talking about my pregnancy to strangers when I was carrying and then everyone wants to tell me what to do or not to do. Truly all this is basic manners.
When asked an inappropriate question, my stock reply is: “Why do you ask?” This usually disarms them & they get the point & change the subject.
My own father has been harassing me about getting a boyfriend since I was 15-16 years old, it's honestly offensive and annoying
@@julijakeit I've also been asked if I was gay. I don't know why people always assume that you're unloved or a homosexual if you're not in a relationship
He is probably just looking forward to the joy that comes with a growing family.
It’s the opposite for me ! My mother has pressured me to not date anyone since I was 10. And now she wonders why I am not married and not motivated to find someone...
Translation- He’s trying to check out if you’re gay. My dad did the same, I was a slow starter with boys myself
That's strange
We simply need to mind our own business and avoid asking personal questions.
Wasnae obviously IF a person is asking you questions they want to make a connection. What’s wrong with connection?
@@venuselectrificata talk about yourself and if the other is interested he will tell you about himself/ herself. Nowadays no one likes questions unless they're very general.
Wasnae that’s precisely the problem...people always talking too much about themselves 😀 whatever
That's basically what is comes down too.
I can't wait to view the video on getting out of this questions. !💞
This is my favorite post of yours. Ever. On behalf of women who have been asked every one of these things over the years, THANK YOU!!!
sooo many people ask me why i don't have a boyfriend, and it's so annoying. my life is not centered around men and i personally feel like i need to work on myself first before i get into a serious relationship at this point.
Anna, I wish you and UA-cam had been around when I was younger. You are a blessing and all women can learn a great deal from you even if they don't want to be in exactly the same circles.
Thank you.
Please do a video: propriet questions to ask when you meet someone (don't have to be a first date or just to man)
Great video! I have been asked every single one of those questions. I did feel it was rude. I have also been rude in the past. That changes today 😃
Anna I love the fact that you openly bring forward topics about psychological/emotional issues because NOBODY is immune to them but more often than not people don't consider that the person standing in front of you could be going through just one period of those and the wrong questions can be heart-breaking. Everyone can learn more and more of thinking before speaking, it is so important, I have learnt a lot myself and still feel can improve.
I’ve literally been asked every single one of those questions. I was asked if I was pregnant when I was 22 and significantly underweight just because I was wearing an oversized t-shirt I had purchased in Disneyland. Needless to say, I never wore oversized t-shirts again... but that tactless question was not great for someone who ate one tiny meal a day. As you say, you never know what’s going on in people’s lives. I’ve also been asked how much my house/car/watch cost by people I’ve just met. They literally have no shame.
I hate when people ask me how much my rent is or what I do for a living, etc.
Why exactly, can you explain? That's just a way of initiating a conversation, it's small talk. Most people aren't judging you, they're just curious.
Probably my favourite video of yours. There has been multiple times when people ask these questions around me and i myself being present in the scene get so awkward even though the questions aren't thrown at me.
I get these questions a lot and specially when I travel: how old are you? Why are you single? Do you have kids? Or when I go to a restaurant and order an extra food and the waiter/waitress says that’s too much for one person? I have my reasons for all of these and I don’t really feel comfortable to discuss that with people I don’t know. Please stop asking these questions to anyone!
Tea Baggins just respond d with the same question just rephrase it. Ask why they are married, what they weigh, how much money do they make, etc.
@@matzohgirl Thanks for the tip. Gonna start doing that.
What restaurant/city/country are the waiters telling you you're ordering too much food? That sounds like bad business sense. But also so many cultures do the opposite. Insist you keep eating.
matzohgirl I definitely will next time and see how they’ll like it!
Elle Why one time I was I. Spain and went to a restaurant and ordered just one dish by myself and an wanted something to the side, and the waitress had too much nerve to tel me that’s too much for a person like me. I’m a small girl and the waiter just automatically assumed that I don’t eat much. But they don’t know people and shouldn’t be saying that at all!
Anna, I love that top you're wearing: the color is vibrant and youthful and it has class and character at the same time!
Anna, I just love listening to you talk. Your accent and mannerisms are so soothing.
And I have to agree with all of these. I don’t mind too much when people ask about religion or politics because I can deflect those pretty easily but the rest are so super offensive and are too commonly asked. Personally I would never ask any of these questions unless I was very close with the person. You are so right that you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors and your “innocent” questions might be very offensive and sensitive. Maybe the person doesn’t care if you know how old they are but doesn’t want the 6 other people at the table to know as well.
When I was pregnant at least five strangers asked me if my pregnancy was planned! It’s was the most bizarre thing. I said yes, even though it wasn’t because it’s none of their business!!
That’s such an important lesson to learn for soooo many people ! Sometimes I think the half world need your school of affluence teaching 🙏🏽😘it’s really true. All these questions was forbidden in my grandparents environment. My Irish granny had a school of household and coach maids and women , who wants to do a household in high society environment in the 1960 ies in Berlin . And as you say that , I feel deep in my belly „ yes“ I ever felt very uncomfortable with these questions. Honestly many Germans are very rude and decline that behavior how open minded they are and sincere. No! It’s NOT ! It’s cheap and rude manners 🤷♀️.
So I adore your blog so much ! Everytime i feel lost or a bit insecure about answering something in business or from men , I hear your voice and advice and that keeps always a good silent distance to everything I struggle with and activate my lady gut feeling 🙏🏽Have a lovely Sunday ahead . Kind regards from Hamburg . Astrid
Some people are so rude , when I just lost my mother , I was meeting my friends for coffee and she was commenting how much weight I put on, who hurt me
I can relate.. i am sorry for your loss
Foot in mouth friend
I have been asked all of these questions before! I’m so happy to hear you say it’s rude!
Thank you for putting this out there Anna! A couple of those questions force the person to reveal personal info that is not something the person should be asked to do! Those questions are NOT appropriate ice breakers.
I hate how alot of women will ask other women about kids or a husband with a tone in their voice like I am not doing anything important with my life if I do not have either of those "things".
I can tell some just ask about kids because they want to relate with you quickly and they are using it as an ice breaker, and I am nice when I tell them I just have pets instead and ask them if they have pets.
No one ever asks a man if he has a wife or children after just learning his name.
I really hate that many find it acceptable for some reason to do it to a woman.
I also wanted to mention that asking about religion or beliefs in a casual first meeting is a no-no too.
Asking about heritage or ancestry "where/what country do you come from can be touchy too as the people could be from exile somwhere or for whatever reason might not feel like you are welcoming them, but singling them out.
It is one thing if they bring up their family and you ask a general question about them, but no one wants to feel persecuted and the struggles people have in other countries or in coming to this one are real.
"Are you pregnant?" is the worst question eveeerrr
No it’s not. It’s just bad for the females that can’t keep their legs closed or know the guy doesn’t care about her at all.
Jessica Lindstrom what the heck girl
@@truthhurts1988 literally w h a t
Couple days after my coleagues find out (not from me) that i will get merried, they already was asking - are you 3 months pregnant, even said, not asked. Fun/sad part that I'm not pregnant :D so it means im getting fat or what... SAD
I have had some one ask me this as I was shopping for tampons. Do you not know how the reproductive cycle works?
A rude question similar to Question #8: “Is your hair real?”
I sometimes wear synthetic hair as braids. But still, why do people ask this??
Do you want me to ask if YOU are wearing a wig? Probably not! So don’t ask me that!
I am not aiming to join the high society, but I love to watch her videos just for myself, my own value. And I am really happy to sometimes aknowledge, that I've already been following some rules that she talks about naturally.
I've had some of these ones. My favourite one was: "How does someone like you manage to own your own home?" My response: "What do you mean, sorry?" Erm, I worked...I took out a mortgage like any normal person! I also had the "How old are you?" question at work, and the person really didn't seem to get the hint that I didn't want to answer, and demanded that I tell them right in front of the whole office. I replied with: "I prefer not to answer that as I don't like being pigeonholed and I just don't enjoy that whole conversation." He replied: "You don't need to be offended," to which I replied, "You'd have to do a lot more than that to offend me, I just don't want to answer and I'm not going to!"