The Hidden Pitfalls of Being 'Too Nice' in Tech: The IT Professionals' Dilemma | Career Talk
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
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Are you an IT professional who's nice, sincere, and dedicated to your job, yet often find yourself overlooked or undervalued? This video delves deep into why good-natured simplicity could sometimes backfire in the competitive corporate world.
Explore key issues, such as being underestimated, avoiding conflicts, and invisibility, which might be holding you back. Discover how good nature can be exploited, and learn about the implications of overburdening and lack of assertiveness in your career growth. This isn't about changing who you are, but rather developing strategies to ensure your kindness isn't mistaken for weakness.
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Hi Sandeep, That event occurred in the past. Now I have updated the link with Office Politics Webinar.
@age of 40 it's matter of habit..do u really think matters a lot in corporate world
It all starts with parents . Children who grow up in unreasonably strict environments grow up to fear teachers and see school and exams as punishments . They grow up to become timid , shy , reserved and scared teenagers . They continue the same attitude into adulthood and see their bosses as gods and do what they are told to do and never stand up for themselves . All these factors lead to failure in professional and personal lives of such individuals. I’m a prime example of this and the above is my own story . At 40, I am now becoming more assertive and am re-inventing myself in every aspect .
To all parents : PLEASE DO NOT FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO DO ANYTHING AND STOP COMPARING YOUR KID WITH OTHER KIDS .
Agree with you
Same situation here....
This feels like my story too. I was so timid all through my childhood and adulthood with extremely critical, controlling and strict parents. Though you learn a thing or two due to this but I wish they had changed attitude when I grew up. When would Indian parents realise that at age of 20-30-40... we are not kids anymore.
Kids should be given power to choose , power to decide right from childhood to be able to become confident adults.
I feel that 😔
Excellent analysis, hence introverts and being technically good feel safe to work in small companies with little or no hierarchy
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sumanth 🙌
You are absolutely right. In small companies technically good and introverts get visibility which is difficult in a big company...as they have to face lot of cunning people.
Introvert shd start 1 man show business or 2 man show , at later stage
@@svdfxdI faced exactly the same issue and did not got promoted, despite of technically sound and over hard working
@@esghsepro so what step did you take?
I have worked in IT industry for 18 years. Based on my personal experience I can say that we should not work very hard in office but rather cultivate a passion towards the technology or business domain. You may think of the company as your everything but for the company you are a mere number. So do not work too hard in office. If you become very good in your skills you can easily get into better companies and save yourself a lot of hassle. If you work too hard in current company but they don't give you good salary hike or professional growth as per your expectation then this regret will stay with you even after leaving the present company. So better relax and spend time in learning something new.
1 ensure visibility and credit
2 be in limelight
3 compete wherever possible
4 don't be nice n simple . Be deplomatic
5 be close to urmanager
Thanks
after working over 13 years in IT . i have realised one thing. Difference between top performer and 2nd rated performer growth and salary is not that much compared to difference in quality of life and stress between these 2 people. Its just not worth chasing for it. Yes if you are passionate about your work and it happen oraganically then its fine. But running after to create visibility and blah blah is just not worth it. Sometime it may be - like when you want to get onsite opportunity. So moral is- if you want quality of life as well. You should know when to step up and when to hold back.
I completely agree with you !! The formula thing which is preached in this video might help some people but in the long run it is a mix of situations, emotions, intelligence, communication, rapport, technical skills and luck as well.
I totally agree
Good point. Top performer doesn't get much differentiation. Reason is - billing rate is same.
100% true. I myself have gone through this and have now left the corporate world after working for 22 years. All these points are perfect but then changing our nature is not that easy. Also it has to do with the up bringing and the environment in which you have been brought up since childhood. स्वभावाला औषध नाही. In today's world you can be either nice or successful. And this applicable everywhere not just corporate world. So the choice is yours, be nice and get peace of mind or be shrewed/heartless and become successful.
100% agree swapnil. I am being nice in an IT company for more than a decade. But I have peace of mind and I do the work only which I am passionate about. I get a good salary hike every year, but not as fast as those who get promoted quickly. And I am not much worried about scaling up the corporate ladder. What matters is peace of mind, less stressful job and a few set of like minded people to hang out, yearly vacation of 3 weeks without any phone call disturbances. Being nice may not pay you back, but definitely you are the most reliable person to depend on during times of crisis.
Exactly !
@@cryptowise9596Very True ❤
Loved your way of thinking Ji ❤
True
I have been in IT for 14+yrs and people who cozy with Managers and do office politics are given opportunities rather than the guys who deserve. Selfishness is well-spread in the world which is more dangerous than cancer. People just dont realise it.
What are you still doing in IT for 14+ years?!!
True . ...
U can add the girl who sleep with senior
@@debris360 When I say cozy, I meant that they would do politics along the lines of manager. They would be their secret agents etc... I didnt mean the way you mentioned above.
its almost crazy man how much selfishness there is
C for communication, C for confidence. Both feed each other and once one realise this, there is no boundary to your personality,it just needs right direction.
In the present Corporate world, one has to master the soft skill of handling different situations as a person than the technicalities of a job. Simply because the technical aspects can be learned over a period of time with extra effort and concentration.
It all begins with your childhood and your family. If your parents were too strict and dominated your life at every stage, you end up fearing everything in life. You fear school, your teachers, other people, more assertive children, everyone. Timidity becomes your first nature, and you have trouble asserting yourself. Your brain gets "stuck" in teen mode, where you desperately want to break free but you perceive too many psychological barriers and secretly rely on someone's guidance instead of being able to make your own decisions. Soon this seeps into your career, where you become comfortable being dictated to, to work for someone instead of carving out your own path. You fear your superiors, you envy your smarter (and more outspoken) subordinates, and you fight this internal battle where your own limitations become your worst enemy. You are innovative/creative, but you just can't bring any of your ideas to fruition, because you are unable to put them forth with conviction.
Personal experience here, especially the family bit. Also, as most fellow 80's kids will agree, schools were terrible back then - too strict and corporal punishment to boot...
Still, I was able to secure a good job after college and from there on I worked for some of the best companies in the world. However, I had trouble shaking those bugbears off. Soon stagnation began in my career. My peers became my seniors, and my juniors my peers. In my mid-40s, I had reached a dead end in my career with no ambition left and neither the will nor the strength to make the move to the next rung in my career ladder.
I quit my job in my late 40's. It's been a few years since then. Now I find peace in a retired life. I guess I wasn't cut out for the rat race. At least, that's how I consoled myself. Having worked for around 25 years, I managed to salt away enough for a simple life (hopefully). But sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and start all over again...
Good luck to everyone with your careers, and hope that for those of you with a similar story as mine, my own failures will inspire you to break your shackles and succeed in your endeavours. 🙂
Well written.. Would like to know ur advice for young people..
I am at my 35 and exactly same what you have mentioned. Literally I don't know what to do now!
What a message ! Be blessed and may your retreat be as joyful as possible ! 💯🙌🏾🇨🇵
Thanks for sharing the lesson you learned in your life. It may bring success in any one life who is struggling with low confidence .
Nice people face challenges not only in professional world but also in personal and emotional life.
Most of the time people use them as much as they can and left irrespective of the environment.
In today's world it is better to be neutral person
Extreme nice or extreme naughty person have to suffer a lot in their life.
Its not about being nice its about give them the importance only to the extent they deserve not more than that
Neutral is great 💯💯💯
middle path - Buddha
@@akshaydushyanth9720 but it is tough to find the limit. In love you don't know how much attention love and care are "too much"
@@CareerTalk ji sirji
Very valid points... being in corporate world for more than 13 yrs i could very well relate every points...Extraordinary... thanks
Thank you @rrkatheer, glad you could relate to it 🙌
If you relate to this, do share it in your WhatsApp groups and hit the "Like" button so others can benefit from it 🙌
To put it in a nutshell the content in this video I believe "Sell yourself smartly to your Managers on whatever tasks you do in the best possible way to get noticed on your efforts' worth"
100% true and I share the same thought with my friends and Reportees. Thanks for being short and sweet about it, you hit it on the mail 😊
Totally true. Proper communication skills is more crucial than ever to be able to express what we know that can benefit some one in our group. Important to be smart and strong than nice. Playing any kind of competitive sports may also help to develop some of these skills
Absolutely true, it is the reality in corporate world. Grate analysis @Carrier Talk.
You answered almost all the WHYs I was whining with for very many years... THANKS would be just a very small word to express the intensity of gratitude I would gladly express otherwise to you for this video...😊❤😊❤
Very straight forward and to the point. That's why we follow you sir. Your advice is really helpful and logical also.
Very relevant and well articulated. These are the real challenges one faces in todays cut throat work environment, and one need to acknowledge and learn how to navigate these situations to survive and thrive in corporate world.
I needed a guide like you in my past years ......and your guidance is always helpful.
I agree with all the points discussed. It will help lot of those who are suffering being nice. Big thanks.
This is exactly what I needed. Well analyzed and narrated
Wholesome advice .. being a doctor ..in a corporate set up .. we suffer this a lot .. and by profession are not trained to think like this ....
Nice very interesting and practical topic sir, as always thank you. 👍
Simple mantra, 'Your co-workers are not your friends' even school buddies will change after promotion and marriage.. any job or position in life (between inlaws, Brothers and sisters, wife-husband, between even egoistic Father - Mother there is great rivalary , your central or local politicians hate each other).
Amazing content Anand! You’re spot ON! Honestly your video made me introspect. I was making some of these mistakes. We can’t just dismiss by saying corporate politics, every time. Need to look inside too.
This is the best advice I have gotten in life. I am going to change the course of my approach to corporate life.
Fully agree with you. We will need more self awareness and willingness to change. Coming out of comfort zone is tricky. In many times it also a cultural baggage and mindset.
Also due to Dunning Kruger effect people who have less knowledge tend to be more confident than people who have more knowledge. We need to recognize this and be more assertive about our skills and knowledge
Thank you for this video I am going through the same difficulties thank you so much, Still trying to overcome these issues
You are absolutely right. This is the reality of corporate world.
Very true and nicely summarised. You get what you want and if you have a desire to get ahead then you need to come out of your comfort zone.
This is so to the point :-) ... Thank you for such elaborated thoughts.
Loving your content day by day❤❤
Though I agree with you.. Winning in corporate world != winning in life. I have observed that many of those so called "successful in corporate world" are not content in their rest of the life. They are suffering with one or other issue. Karma is real !
You are too good and are doing a great service!!! Thank you!!! Subscribed👍🏼
Thank you so much!
you are absolutely right, this generally happens in corporate offices.
Absolutely spending time introspection is necessary and worth the time to move ahead. I resonate with you. Thanks that your talk here made me realise this. Its just sowehting things are there at the back of mind but we aren't sure but your talk gave an assurance
Great explanation of hidden points in professional career.. Thank you @CareerTalk
Confidence comes with technical skills, skills are skills and those soft skills that other people are good is because they are good technically also. There is no ice people , other people are just good. You said it, they have skills and so they are ahead
Spot on, i was looking for such a perfect response... I can't agree more ... excellent point
Kudos to you. This is a thought provoking talk and actually opening a can of worms. Being NICE mean many things with reference to work environments. Being nice in one company will boot you up and in another company somebody steals the show without due hard work. Being nice to manager is also kissing up to the manager. My colleague will be very nice to me whenever he needs something and half of the time whatever I say about improving or asking for suggestions nothing goes in between his ears. Being nice can be opportunistic, weakness, strength, survival, getting work done. Being assertive in some environment can pull you down and it becomes a habit which is hard to break. Most of the career advice do not work because change is hard and we evolved like that. The advise and adviser is not to be blamed but it's evolutionary mind set that can't break free the environment. There is no formula or correct way to come up in the career. We deal with emotional human beings and most of them don't think straight because brain doesn't think logically all the time because it's naturally hard for the brain to think logically all the time. That's why the brain which is mind, takes the easier route in making decisions. There are naturally gifted leaders and technical specialist who brings in the money for the company. Two of my friends are account managers who oversee like multiple clients. I asked do they have any idea about each account. Most of them don't have clue at all just they attend the meeting every single waking hour and make bunch of decisions which will be revisited like zillion times. According to me why people come up in the management ladder in IT services company has zillions of reasons and very hard to pin point one. Mr. Arun your talks are useful and it highlights the state of the employee and employer. Personally career advise won't work but it's still worth listening just to know how we can think about the career.
Excellent, very well said.
I believe you should never compare yourself at workplace with your colleagues, you should always believe in yourself and always remember to keep your head up no matter what the circumstances you are in. If you are an introvert then that does not mean you will lag behind, keep the ball rolling and it is not always required to speak up but should know when and where to speak , for example the townhall example which was given , if all comes in the front then who will acquire the back row? . I have seen in my personal experience some really talented guys who occupy the back rows and ask questions from the back, sometimes clients even look out for these people 😂 and they seem to be legit. So there is no hard and fast rule , just be in the moment , what is important is to fail and learn , you should definitely take risk and be bold sometimes to stay ahead.
Wow Thanks for the insight , I need to practise assertiveness and soft skills . It's not what you say but how you say it matters .
this is wise, we have to assert ourselves if don't agree, set boundaries and say no. That's the simple key to to life
Usefull tips Thanks for sharing
Thank you Sir. Nice vedio.
Corporate world is not for me ( i don't think ahead much) . But i can't leave as well since this is the bread and milk for me .
Great
True, spot on. Very well presented
I like the channel, it talks most about the internal aspects of the company, the way the peoples interactive and many more, kudos.
Thank You Abhishek 🙌
Very good advice and well presented. I might send link to some people who needs it, badly.
I don't think it is required to do something which is bothersome as per your nature just to survive. It will never make you happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal. Choose your work based on your nature first and then learn necessary things to be better in that. Most of us are stuck with jobs that we don't like. So it does not matter how much you try to learn or upskill, it will not be satisfactory. It's 2023 and you have the options to choose work that goes well with your core nature.
Nice speech and you have covered the real problems of nice people in the industry
Wah Anand wah.....
This clarity of mind and words comes from a person who is experienced as well as grounded... I face this 100 %. Do u think it's due to environment that we grow with that makes people simple and humble?
Hi Arijeet, Thank You. Yes, you are right. It is the environment and the conditioning we go through 🙌
Dear Sir -> I really appreciate your wisdom in these matters -> BIG THANK YOU 🙏
Too correct.. perfect piece of advice 👍
Excellent , the points you have covered is so true....
completely resonate your thoughts...spot on
Good techies are often introverted and like to remain in technical ladder and look down upon management jobs, but real opportunity and money lies in the management roles after a certain point of time, very nice analysis
Nice summary. Thanks for this concise explanation.
Wow sir, every single thing you highlighted were so absolute correct , Hatsoff to you , thanks for making this video , I am sure this will help a lot of the newbie's to do well in corporate world.. God Bless.
Very good analysis!!
Wow ...eye opener. We sy office politics but actually it is our excuse for lack of smart skills.
Very nice sir, very nicely and crystal clear quotes, what happens with nice people in the corporate world
Thanks Anand. You are doing a great job in creating awareness. Hatsoff to you
Thanks Suresh. Glad you found it helpful 🙌
I got this fact check through this year appraisal...my manager had nothing wrong to say about me and still gave me 3 rating...i have always been on time and always helped my teammates and never took unnecessary leaves...
And my manager gave me 3 rating...
And i was stupid enough to not ask y i am not getting 4 star ...i just said ok and now i regret it
delotte?
@@prabhatgupta6415 wipro
If your manager cannot see your hard work then he is an idiot!
@@d_starcode1197😂 bro exactly me
I was told that we can get 4 only when you get 'more business' even though I have absorbed a lot of work in a way that the team gets more work(at least from what i analysed). I lost faith after that.
Great advice. Appreciate it.
The above points apply more to the service companies where people are recruited in mass...but if you go to a product company, I think it's the skill that matters. Soft skills definitely matter but they are not above technical skills. Over last few years in many US banks/financial companies, they have replaced Director position with Engineering Director/ Staff Engineer.
Iam in product based company and it seems all the same here.
1. Lack of Assertiveness
Fear of rejection or
Fear of conflict
2. Under estimation
3. People take you for granted (Habbit of letting it go)
4. The way you conduct yourself matters
You need to grab your opportunites
And -----
5. Check the kind of people you hang with
6. That is not office politics, you need to self analysis
7. It is not being good or bad, it is being street smart
Don't put yourself, in professional disadvantage
8. Learn communication skills, learn to become assertive, learn to promote yourself
Nicely explained everyone must learn out of this.
Thanks a lot Uday 🙌
I enjoy your conversations and can relate to my experiences 😊
Excellent video. 100% facts. Spot on.
I do agree with with analysis and I feel i am doing the same mistakes which you have highlighted .But to solve your mentioned analysis will be challenge for nice people and will take time And that time ,one is not having as everybody is way ahead .
Thanks for the lesson, Sir
My pleasure Srinivas 🙌
You are higher for technical skills and fire for softskill ❤
You are a very good mentor sir... thank you very much 🙏 for your selfless efforts to guide the nice talented people... God bless you
I have spent around 16 years working as a software developer (India) almost throughout in product companies. As per my observation I have seen people who are just too nice, always sugarcoat and bootlick their bosses are the ones to survive the longest in IT. Multiple people almost have seen surviving and even continuing with 52+ years age (India) but in addition to boot licking they were technically extremely strong as well.
During my initial years in IT I was extremely arrogant but technically very strong, although I got rewarded but due to multiple fights, it got difficult to survive in 1 company, and kept changing jobs. Also when there were job cuts and mass layoffs, my name used to get added and boot lickers who were lesser competent used to survive. Now when I am 42+ age have learned the mantra (hard way) that bootlick is required in addition to technically being strong, and I am continuing in my present organization and its been almost close to 6 years now.
REALLY HIGH VALUE CONTENT - EVERY POINT - GOLD 👍
Awesome ❤
This is a mind-blowing video.
Although I agree with you , I also feel that sometimes some people want to cover their incompetence by being ‘nice’ , that is so frustrating
I needed to hear this.
Sir, thank you so much for your analysis.
Mice are nice. Being assertive and voicing out is a necessity..valid points..
Dear Sir, I respectfully disagree with your perspective. While simplicity and goodness are admirable traits, they do not necessarily indicate introversion, low self-esteem, or being excluded from social events. It is not about lacking social skills or blaming oneself for office politics. The points you discussed primarily address individuals who face challenges in the corporate world due to a lack of necessary skills and personality traits to succeed. These individuals can be either good-hearted people or quite the opposite.
To clarify, let's define who nice and good people are. They are individuals who demonstrate kindness, compassion, and empathy towards others. They possess the courage to maintain a positive attitude even in the face of negative situations. It is easy to respond with hostility when faced with adversity, but it takes true strength to respond with a smile. It is also challenging to treat unpleasant individuals with kindness, but it is a testament to one's character.
I speak from personal experience as I have worked in the corporate world while pursuing spirituality and practicing as a professional Tarot Reader. Nice people contribute to the beauty of the world and uphold humanity. The most admired individuals are often those who possess simplicity and goodness. A positive mindset naturally attracts people towards them. Please understand that my perspective is not intended to belittle your content, experience, or knowledge. You have undoubtedly helped many individuals. However, it is always beneficial to prioritize being kind and good-hearted. 😇✨️😊
Wonderful Sir...
Agree with you. I believe people typically with higher consciousness tend to have such good traits because it is from their inner core, who they really are. Do you want to compromise your principles to get ahead? Change is probably possible for those who lack the so-called skills to get ahead because of their conditioning. A higher consciousness person is mild-mannered yet confident inside because the good behavior flows naturally from him. Thank you for your comment 🙏
@@tpbitsYour perspective is truly enlightening, and I'm grateful for you sharing it. It's wonderful to see that my viewpoint also struck a chord with you.
I work in a startup hence haven't faced such problems yet. I am worried about the future. Is it really that bad??
My work life is summarised in this video. Any books you suggest in order to improve in this area?
You are absolutely wondrous
Spot On !
The very 1st point hits the bulls eye…Core reason in the frosty relationship. Management want you IN very much but they don’t want you that much. You could b great analytic but not that gr8 in assertiveness . Talking bold/ loud is not in your nature.
Hai , IMV Nice People actually aren't ending last infact they allow others to go ahead.Just Like we send someone ahead in Bus or Trains. Only thing they should do is to Use Opportunities and Learn Some tactics of how to stay on top to get exposure at all levels of the Work..👍🏻
I tried all these things in many places in the past ..i was percieved as a smart guy and threat to a few of the ppl in the team or hirqrchy .... and sometimes certain gaps in my knowledge got exposed ... which started hurting me later .. now i have decided to shut up and be a back bencher...but even this doesnt seem to ne helping me
1. Lack of Assertiveness
2. Underestimate
3. People take you for granted due to 1 and 2 above
4. Way you conduct yourself
5. Afraid of limelight
6. Your need to grab the opportunity
7. What kind of people do you hangout with
8. Not everything is office politics
9. Soft skills are game changer
10. Dont give yourself excuse
Great ,thanks
Thanks Ashwin. Glad you found it helpful 🙌
True , learnt this the hard way
Perfectly said
Thanks Nagbhushan 🙌
I had many issues with company policy, and also voices it but it always back fired on me, even when they were geniune. What Tod so in that situation?
Don't blindly believe what this man says about surviving skills in corporate. I have seen the smartest and shrewdest of people to be introvert, simple and silent but are very successful in their careers.
That's true Suman. Never believe blindly and yes you are right people who speak less may be smart/ shrewd too 🙂
Awesome much appreciate it
Everything you said is 💯✔️
I am facing same issue.. But my manager never give me good feedback while I have done excellent work for company and he knows that