Charlotte | Initial Commentary on 1.5 Year Follow-Up Session with Dr. Jacob
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- Опубліковано 18 лис 2021
- Charlotte (with a Borderline Personality Disorder dx) analyzes her 1.5 year follow-up session with Dr. Jacob, in a conversation with Rebbie, director/producer/person with dx. The focus is on BPD and romantic relationships.
The 1.5 year follow-up session is here: • Psychiatric Follow-up ...
And the first session here: • Psychiatric Interview:...
Topics include: feeling seen by the therapist, empathy and BPD, BPD vs NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), relationships and BPD, anger, infidelity, perception and identity in relationships, commitment to therapy.
This video is part of a series of sessions with therapists who work with Borderline Personality Disorder. Playlist of all videos to date is here: • Sessions
Dr. Jacob is at the forefront of treatment for people with BPD, including those who experience co-occurring psychiatric conditions such as substance use, eating disorders, depression, or anxiety. Her short bio:
"Karen L. Jacob, PhD, is an expert treater of those with BPD, a Program Director for a Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment Program, and an Instructor of Psychology. She received her PhD in clinical psychology from Clark University and completed her post-doctoral training at Cambridge Health Alliance at Harvard Medical School. Her clinical training has been primarily in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for patients struggling with mood, anxiety, and personality disorders, as well as in mindfulness, mentalization, dialectical behavior, and biofeedback therapies.
Dr. Jacob has an extensive research training background, having studied topics including diabetes, adoption, attachment, panic disorder, and psychotherapy outcomes. She has authored numerous papers and presentations and was honored with the Hiatt Scholarship. Her current research interests include understanding the effectiveness of empirically-supported treatments in clinical contexts and in elucidating mechanisms of change in treatment. Dr. Jacob has a particular interest in understanding the relative impact of different components of treatment on outcome, as measured by both symptom and functional improvement."
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For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
Our archive of videos on mental health is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes
Disclaimer: "Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products,opinion, or other information.
Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes expressly disclaims responsibility and shall have no liability for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffering as a result of reliance on the information in this publication. If you or someone you know is considering self-harm or suicide, it’s okay to ask for help. 24 hour support is provided by www.hopeline-nc.org (877.235.4525), suicidepreventionlifeline.org (800.273.8255), kidshelpphone.ca (800.668.6868).”
That moment even hurt *MY* feelings!
She needs a follow up with Dr. Choi-Kain. Charolette seemed much more at ease with her.
I'm not far into the video and already I'm identifying how I too get triggered by other people questioning or criticizing my reality or perspective on something. I think this is something many people with BPD have felt. It's good for us to notice and pick up on what types of interactions typically frustrate us. That way we can realize what's going on and hopefully not let the emotions take over. This is a DBT technique 💙 thank you for this video.
Having your reality questioned (whether or not he cheated) is DEFINITELY a trigger for most people. I more than understood Charlotte’s reaction during the interview and was also super proud of her for expressing that to Dr Jacob !
I do think that the way she formulated her question was a little clumsy, and it may have been better if she had asked something like “how did you learn that he cheated?”
Hopefully Charlotte gets another consult with Dr Choi-Kain, she seemed a lot more comfortable speaking with her
I felt really gaslit by a therapist when I told her about my boyfriend at the time shoving me. Like just because my emotional reality is high doesn’t mean I make sh!t up. Our sensitivity actually makes us see things sooner than other people, were very intuitive.
Yeah but we’re wrong A LOT
I think its not about being right or wrong. It is about her reaction to the dr (or anyone else in life) that questions her rightness. That she ‘may be’ wrong. It was intense. It brings up the question, does she need approval of others more than a ‘typical’ person. Why this might be.. How does this may be affecting her life… And for you Transcending Trauma, what if your therapist or anyone else think you re making shit up? Why does this idea affect you so much? Why not a milder reaction appear in your own pscych? These questions by the way, are just suggestions for you to know yourself better. Thats all.
I was so excited to see this update and hear more from Charlotte. Please keep this up, please continue to show the world thos of us with BPD and that we are worthy, loving, beautiful people still learning the skills of life! Charlotte is so relatable and I admire her bravery!
Kudos to Charlotte for having the courage to participate in this series in the first place and being honest about her perspective on the session. I fully agree with her that the phrasing the therapist used in their session to get a better understanding of her past relationship was invalidating and not well attuned at all. I wished more mental health professionals actually took their client feedback to heart and were more aware of what is needed in the session to meet their clients with an understanding and compassionate attitude.
I specifically remember watching this and was so sad for Charlotte that she questioned her on this. I would have probably walked out and I don't even have BPD. She is a terrible therapist if she did not realize this. Good for you Charlotte!
I agree, that was invalidating and the wrong wording from the therapist
If sobriety is overlooked as the foundation, Charlotte will probably continue to fall in and out of her " condition ".
I absolutely agree with this.
Agreed, and more awareness of core drives toward splitting without falling into more self criticism, while being grounded belly centered, exploring how negative merging happens after feeling triggered with associated object relation, and ultimately finding a true source of merging into her own personal essence. And exploring pleasurable activities in life, beyond the extremes that alcohol, drugs, having sex brings. Not easy, but totally doable with some added support.
100%
Well done, Charlotte. I did see the doctor address what she said to you and recognized that your ability to express your emotion without anger was healthy. It was. But, she should not have said what she did. It was insensitive and invalidating. You handled yourself like a champ and have been an inspiration through this whole series. Sending you lots of love.
👏
I caught that too from seeing that session awhile back. She invalidated you. I think if she used a different kind of wording it would have sat better. But by saying that what you implied is “alleged”, she disclosed her judgement towards you. I would have felt uncomfortable as well. And would have left that therapist without even discussing it. Why? Because I wouldn’t want to work with someone who doesn’t believe me from the get go and looks down on me from the position of power.
Exactly
Fully agree with you, the way the therapist tried to "get a better understanding" of her situation also rubbed me the wrong way while watching the session. Why was the therapist so quick to question if what Charlotte said made any sense instead of hearing her out first and then judging if the concern about infidelity was justified or not?
agreed, felt like gaslighting to me
@@rulahydon1301 the trust is gone though. I wouldn’t want to come to my therapist and convince her of what is happening in my life. At the end of the day, those two are not a good match. The other therapist she spoke with - was better suited for her.
Charlotte also felt like she needed to defend the truth with examples of evidence like why? I mean why put her in that position
man, I can't tell how much I appreciate this channel!
damn, I just had a breakdown and wondered if there was any update on her. I found this video, to my surprise, and seeing Charlotte smiling really made my day better. Thanks for uploading this :)
Same & she just gave me hope again!!
Will we get more Dr. Jacob? Because, we will never have enough of her work 🧚♀️
I was working and listening to her talk with dr Karen and without knowing about these I immediately felt she looks quite like feeling sorry for her . I feel truly that this view doesn’t help and empower her whereas the other clinician Choi? Liked her in those talks and that is more helpful. Nothing is bad like questioning people s experiences like gaslighting.
I can't believe how much this person has matured. Lovely to see.
Its not just the pain from the trauma. Its also all the pain from lost friends, broken relationsships, not being able to have kids or a romantic relationship and the pain from knowing i have let myself down and didnt hold on to my values. The last one actually pains me the most.
I have gained some insight into what im doing that destroys relations. I see my part in creating broken friendships. I see my fauls or lack of knowing my needs. Im 43 now and have been in therapy for many years. I just to judge myself for not getting better after years in therapy, but then the habit of bpd has continued for over 30 years its not going to go away so easy and fast.. And there need to be an enormous willingness to endure the path of healing the pain.
Its like how do i even forgive myself for letting the bpd in me win?
I guess i need to proove bpd wrong, somehow..
This comment means so many things to me. I don't know you personally but I do know that you are exceptionally strong. I hope that you know that you are not alone, and that we are all better than our worst moments. Also, please don't think you haven't gotten "better" after years in therapy; please don't invalidate how far you have come.
@@charlemixon Your right i shouldnt judge cause that dosent help me. I gained a lot of awareness in therapy. The thing is it has to be followed up by action. I hope im on my way to something.
❤Thank you for your kind words and reminder, dear.
@@mooninaries4397 ❤
This is a very insightful dialogue. What I really notice is the level of honesty trying to be created.
Unless people are as honest as possible, then nothing grows or increases in depth!
These 2 people in fact, do "see" each other.
I am grappling with a broken marriage and a "wife" who suffers from severe NPD (includes extreme violence). I will go to any length to understand how this came into my life, and turn it into a deep life learning lesson, I hope!!!!!
Thank-you for such a candid and open dialogue.
P.S. you were not dilluded, you were looking at the trusting side of yourself.
Again, thank-you both 🙏🔥💪
Thanks for the upload. One point of feedback: can we please not make hierarchies between diagnoses when it comes to who is "better off' or the "better person" (BPD vs. NPD and ASD). There's really no need to say that there is hope for Borderliners, and subsequently make it seem like Narcissist and Antisocials are actually the real hopeless bad guys here. There is already enough stigma on UA-cam:) This channel is one of the only ones who actually informs correctly on the PERSON behind cluster B defense mechanisms. And luckily you include all! Thanks!
i dont think that there is a hierarchy (that someone with BPD is a 'better person' than NPD or ASD).
But i think there definitely is a *difference* in the characteristics of each type of illness and therefore also a difference in recovery outcomes. (Which I think is the context for the discussion in the video -- that people with BPD are more likely to seek help than people with NPD or ASD). And we should be able to accurately acknowledge and discuss such differences without fear that we are being judgmental (because I don't think Charlotte was being judgmental; she was just pointing out the behavioural differences).
@@omgrennie
If I really thought she was purely talking about differences, I would have completely agreed with you.
But there was something in the way she formulated it, in which it felt like it came from the need to dissent herself from other cluster B types to feel better about her Borderline diagnoses (which, in a way, of course I can understand).
She continued talking from her own experiences (which in itself is not a problem ofcourse) and says "they just don't care". Well, its a little more complex than that. I think words are important in this matter.
Also the "we don't want to hurt other people" (as opposed to...) is a tricky thing. Because in BPD and NPD the endgoal is not to hurt. Its to defend.
Also when it comes to the empathy statement, I think we should be carefull. Especially when we listen to what Frank Yeomans and Diana Diamond have tried to tell us about, for example NPD (and whats behind this defense mechanism).
There is a reason, I think, why Rebbie didnt enable this sentiment futher in the conversation, and just actually focused on the regulation schemas in the different diagnoses and the empahtic promiss in borderline itself.
The thing is, there is a thin line between stigma and actually talking about predicates/characteristics in a descriptive way.
Its the same when it comes to racism and discrimination/seksism for example: sure one should not deny statistics or biological differences, but at the same time be really careful with your conclusions about that, or what you think that would mean.
(Sorry English is not my native language and I think I did okayish, but please feel free to give me some feedback on it, if you would like).
@@omgrenniei for one advocate for jusging Narcissists ans Antisocials. For aure
It is so helpful to talk to other people who have had issues rather than a therapist who is totally focused on you. So many questions!!!!!!
Thank you for all of these sessions and debriefs. Charlotte's vulnerability is such a gift to others. And so helpful. Your hard work in creating these is so appreciated. I feel more able to be vulnerable and open as a result of watching. I am not diagnosed with BPD. But have loved ones with it. I feel more empathetic and feel like I can understand them better from watching your videos. Thanks!
I love these sessions- they are such a gift! Much kudos and love to Charlotte
Haven’t watched yet but thank you. Whenever you upload it feels like a holiday 🥳
Thank you so much for making and sharing this whole series - for having this channel. I recently received a diagnosis of having BPD traits, and it shook me to my core for a few reasons. I really relate to Charlotte's saying she feels well/better when she is single, and needs therapy more while she is in a relationship or even thinking about it. I relate to a lot. I can't thank you enough. When I can't sleep because of this paradigm shift I'm experiencing, I put on these videos and they ground and soothe me. Pursuing DBT next. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Charlotte
You are both open and honest
Coming across as very calm
Charlotte, you are beyond brave for letting us in like this. I just want you to know, it doesn't matter that Dr Jacob didn't know about the evidence you had seen of your boyfriend's cheating. It's not ok for a therapist to instantly gaslight a client. Even if they hear things about the client's situation from others (which isn't supposed to happen traditionally, but sometimes it still does) or just because the client has BPD. So often BPD is already partially born out of constant invalidation.
Even in a hypothetical scenario where, let's say, you were mistaken, the way to help you is not to immediately interrogate your reality as if you have no grip on it yourself. Being gaslight-y like that does not open people up to different ways of thinking. It makes them shut down instantly. She could've asked you open-ended questions instead of implying out of nowhere that you have no idea what you're talking about. Or leave that alone entirely then if the session needed to go in a different direction.
People with BPD already fight so hard to have their realities be heard and understood. I think that's part of the reason for struggling with emotion regulation. You almost preempt that someone is not going to take you seriously, and that can compound any negative emotional state. So, for all those reasons, I thought it was especially not ok for Dr Jacob to invalidate you like that. It hurt me on your behalf. And I was just as proud and impressed when you spoke up in real time and let her know that that had hurt you.
That was a surprise coming out of Dr. Jacob. It makes me wonder about her own demons. There are respectful ways for a therapist to seek clarity from a patient if she is uncertain of the patient's reading of a situation. Dr. Jacob's comment wasn't respectful. One slip doesn't make her a bad therapist. She should have paused to acknowledge the presumptuous of her comment so they could move on like adults.
Thank you for writing this, I appreciate your empathy and how well you were able to assess the situation. I don't know if you are a clinician but you certainly have the skill-set and natural expertise
Charlotte you are so brave. What I was sad to see was that no one was acknowledging the horrors you had been through and that all your behaviors made sense given the abuse and neglect you received in your life. You are helping so many people!!! You don't need to prove your experiences to anyone! What you say goes.
I just wanted to thank you for making this, I'm so glad I found this channel and set of videos. I felt incredibly attached to Charlotte's feelings and was just fascinated by her story. As a person who can easily feel alone about the way I feel, this really helped me a lot! THANK YOU Charlotte, and THANK YOU BorderlinerNotes :)
Another amazing video. This provides a ton of insight into the mind of individuals who suffer from these very real disorders. I think it will be priceless regarding the progress in treatments and overall understanding of this mental health issue in the near future. Thanks!!!
Meeting with my psychiatrist for the first time today. Thank you so much for all of these!!!!
Good luck! And thanks for your presence here. -P
God I love these women. So raw and identify with them sooooo much. Thank you lovely ladies 🙏🏼
Yea me too!! They have such awesome personalities!!!
I’d like to thank so much Charlotte in sharing and being so transparent about herself. These follow ups are so valuable they show progress and reality/turn-out of events/life. 🙏🏻😊
This is such a kind comment, thank you!
I was proud of you too! Thank you all, this really helped me. I really want to be better too... I send all the love to you Charlotte!
Old woman here. Lower expectations in everything & everyone. Men & women are hard wired differently so don't expect any of them to get you or know where you are coming from or what you need or want from them. They have their own agenda.
Its ok if you end up forever single or in a series of relationships that have a beginning, middle & end. Be kind to yourself & whoever crosses your path. Follow the Golden Rule and things will fall in place. So at the end of the day, you can look back & say to yourself i caused no harm, no foul. Stay away from alcohol & any other harmful addictions, adopt a pet, travel to different cultures, find a meaningful way to make a living, & learn to laugh at how funny Life can be. It all goes by so quickly so make the most of it.
wonderful advice
Best advice ever!
Yes, Charlotte, I think Borderlines do have a huge capacity for empathy, maybe more than the general population because they are so sensitive and Narcissist have basically none. That is a huge difference. Probably one the biggest and probably the one that has the most impact on other people insofar Borderlines don't want to hurt people, they do, but then they/we apologize or try to correct ourselves. Narcs and antisocials do not.
Yes, then there are people with both, or traits of narcissism, so people just assume the narcissistic or sociopathic traits are bpd. 🙄
Then maybe my ex was comorbid with NPD because when she split, all empathy flew out the window. I’m not even sure she had any for “me, her partner” when not splitting but had plenty for strangers & family.
BINGO!!!!
@@Rachelllllll2024 or autism, like my mom. Borderline, autism and narcissism ...a lovely mix. Complete incapability to allow other human minds to exist, if ever it existed.
Charlotte, ur the best. May u attain whatever desire.
When she is smiling and radiant, she almost looks like Sarah McLachlan. The thumbnail really shows that off. In other words, her smile is really nice.
Charlotte your awesome, these videos are so helpful. Pete, United Kingdom.
Charlotte is so gentle and kind...and somewhat innocent in that she expects the best in others.
❤
Oh, Charlotte.--you're back! You are wonderful- so brave and open. And, you made me laugh with the lingerie story. Wishing you the best.
I think Charlotte would probably be a good therapist herself. She's very perceptive of people and mannerisms. Also I'd love to see her sing in a punk band and let out all the anger I know she has simmering underneath. A healthy output for it.
I agree that people with BPD have a higher potential capacity for empathy but this state of mind is zero sum with overwhelming emotions, but it is a more raw, intuitive empathy that is an adaptation to an emotionally dysregulated caregiver.
To use a super hero analogy, BPD empathy is like Cyclops's eye beams that one must learn to regulate and establish boundaries to gain control of. Uncontrolled empathy is pathological as it is piling everyone's suffering onto your own and is often unconscious and difficult to tease out from your own emotions, (since they change all the time anyway...hard to differentiate)
excellent comment and very true. boundaries are imperative
Can you post more sessions with Charlotte? I can relate to her and watching her sessions is helpful I think .
Ok, I finished the video. I could say a lot more but I will just say something to Charlotte and it is sincere and from the heart even though it sounds cliche. You are totally good enough as you are, you have good instincts and I realize you are dealing with a lot of shit from your past and your personality issues (me too) but you are one of the good ones out there. Be proud of yourself, whatever you decide to do. You are a survivor. Don't put anyone above yourself and follow your heart. Might seem like it's leading you astray at times but maybe that's where you need to be. I think from the little I know of you that you have accomplished a lot and come far. I know there is still things that aren't right and pain and all that but just keep going. Also, if you see this and want to be friends I'd like that. I think we have a lot in common and I really like how sensitive, smart and funny you are. Anyway, ok. Take care. W
You mean well for sure
but the fundamental feature of BPD and emotional dysregulation is not seeing your “heart “ as the thing to follow especially if it is dysregualted
She is intelligent and creative unique and for the most part AN INSIGHTFUL person but she needs to figure her heart out by coping with a primarily emotionally led decision tree … she gets that she just is not able to deal with it effectively
“Following your heart “ can be a good excuse for selfishness and narcissism and she doesn’t appear narcissistic ( her issue’s appear to manifest impulsively classic for ED ( which many have ) or BPD itself ).
It’s not therapy that is destabilizing as she said , it’s how unaware she is that therapy often can manifest her real life reactions period although she seems respectful of the process anyhow
Best wishes
I’m ok when I’m not dating too. When I’m dating someone i always question my reality too!
thank you for sharing. i have the same problem
I couldn’t believe what i was hearing when the Dr. Made that cheating comment. I replayed it several times. I also heard her say something to the effect of, “if you sign up for more sessions we can discuss further.” 🚩🚩🚩🚩. Even therapists are money pits.
she is unethical, imo. it's a bit weird this being in the open
Charlotte is so smart and such a quick study that she makes it extremely rewarding to follow her mental health journey. Is it possible that a root cause of this behavioral syndrome called BPD goes back to childhood in a dysfunctional family where love and emotional safety were not sure things? Another thought, is it possible that two modalities of treatment never mentioned in the 3 videos I've watched might take Charlotte a long way towards her goal? I'm thinking it would provide clarity and do her a world of good in a period when she is not seeing a man to write down her list of the rules of common decency for all adult human interactions and another list of what is fair to ask or expect of a partner. When either set of expectations is not honored most of the time, it's time to end the relationship. No matter how fragile you are, a therapeutic protocol involving more than one kind of therapy and several therapeutic activities can see you through such wrenching transitions. This brings me to another, related and I think possibly key approach: look for and try out activities that help others and/or give your life purpose. A woman who has a productive reason to climb out of bed every day with a sense of adventure or optimism is more likely to attract a partner she respects and does not have to cater to. He will love the way she looks and her zest for life. As she loves his appearance, zest and generous spirit.
Is there genuinely affordable online therapy available?
Team Charlotte 👍
I probably shouldn't write this but...
Charlotte you are a thoughtful, pretty, and articulate young lady...I have chipped teeth and a bald spot (and am with someone) There is someone out there for *everyone* when you're ready you'll know😊🙌 Things work out the way they should in the end...Try not to worry to much.💜
She's out of your league, Baldy 😂😂😂
I personally did not like how the therapist handled the cheating issue. It felt like she did not know how to confront the session and kept asking for proof. My goodness, the last thing you need is to have to prove something like that when you are just torn.
I don't know much about Tranference Focused Therapy but was the Dr. in that irritating statement initiating a transference? Just wondering as no one has mentioned that yet.
Hi Charlotte! If you ever need someone to talk to, maybe bring a different perspective, topic etc., please dooo reach out. I am not a therapist or borderline (or not diagnosed :)) but I have read all my life psychology and did a ton of work on myself, I teach yoga and work in a corporation and I had maaany dysfunctional relations :). So if you ever want to talk or share anything, please reach out.
This woman triggers me my BPD so much and I think it’s because I have the same exact inner voice as her. Im reading in too much to this entire interview and it just feel really awkward, and like the woman is getting really defensive. If I’m reading that right, then she’s not gotten better, and has a long long way to go.
Is Jungian Shadow work useful for people struggling with BPD?
I was thinking that too
Dr.Jacob,with all my respect
Is there a possibility of over talking and spending years in Therapy
for the love of God, it wasn't that she didn't feel understood when the therapist said that, she felt like the therapist was questioning or even denying her reality. Not the same thing. Charlotte seems really annoyed. I don't blame her. Charlotte actually seems more together and mentally healthy and smarter than the interviewer and therapist.
I know right she said he cheated not I think he cheated or I know I might be imagining things etc. She was pretty clear
The way I interpreted it: the therapist was simply clarifying that she did not know if the cheating happened, because she doesn’t. That’s not the job of a clinician. Their job is to evaluate, diagnose and treat. They aren’t detectives or police officers. Therapists, especially those in the public eye, often clarify “I don’t know if that happened” - they don’t. They know what the patient is relaying to them, they can see how it is affecting the patient, and they can navigate the framework and schemas the patient is exhibiting to help them. It is simply beyond their realm to assert if an event happened or not.
I think that the Charlotte’s reaction was just that: a reactive response to a trigger. It didn’t even cross my mind that the therapist could be questioning the validity of the event: that isn’t their job, nor what they do. I imagine that charlotte has had a lot of de-validating experiences with mental health care specifically, and the topic of being misunderstood, questioned, not believed, etc., is sensitive, and understandably so. However, that does not mean that the reaction matched the intention of the therapist.
To say that Charlotte is more together and mentally healthy than the practicing clinician and the interviewer, who also has BPD, seems a bit unfounded to me. Charlotte is very open about her struggles: it’s difficult to live with BPD, my sister has it and life isn’t easy. It’s a constant string of disregulation, big emotions, pain, fear, anger, etc. Their minds are not safe, thus their body’s are not safe, thus their environments are not safe, and it’s an exhausting and difficult existence. To imply that that Charlotte is “more together and mentally healthy and smarter” is to ignore the very real ways in which her life is not what she wants it to be. It also implies that being mentally healthy and together is correlated with being smart, and that a misunderstanding deems someone not smart, together, or mentally healthy. This is not the case. Charlotte is an example of the ability of someone to be incredibly smart (although, what “smart” even means is highly debated) and to still really struggle. No amount of intelligence or will or want alone can lead someone to mental well being.
Anyways, I don’t know anything - I’m not a clinician, nor do I myself have a personality disorder. Just an observation. The work on this channel is so valuable and I am so grateful to Charlotte for being brave enough to be this vulnerable - my sister is 17, and things got bad when she was around 10. Being able to see Charlotte, relate to her, feel seen and understood, is just invaluable to her.
We’re all triggered in the comments. We’re all seeing shit that ain’t there. We don’t know what’s really going on. Stop it.
"whatever" = self dismissal. try "do you know what i mean?" instead. 🤗
I hadn't noticed that before, you are right!
as a lay person with a lifetime of self development behind me about related issues, i could help more and quicker than the psy, mh vampires. having lived it or something quite similar, i KNOW where she comes from, where she's at, and where she wants to be 🙏.
Well no offence to Dr Jacobs but maybe she should've phrased it differently.....unless she wanted to trigger something in Charlotte and to test her🤔 was an awkward interaction at that point
I'm only a couple minutes in and I am already annoyed. First of all, of course that was offensive when the therapist doubted whether she was being cheated on or not. It was glaringly offensive whether or not Charlotte provided "proof" or not. It was almost like the therapist was gaslighting her.
Secondly, I notice the interviewer here says that she thought what Charlotte did was "cool" when she called out the therapist which I agree with but then went on to say "I hadn't seen you do something like that before" which came across to me as sort of condescending. I mean is the interviewer a therapist? Does she really know Charlotte well enough to make any judgement about that at all?
My take on Charlotte is that she is a strong smart woman and needs better people (possibly better therapists) in her life. Really, she is smarter y'all and been through hell so stop treating her like a fuckin lab rat. It's just creepy to watch.
The problem with most therapists is that they try to do things by the book to the point of failing to understand the importance of being honest and to level with their clients.
Stop putting words in her mouth...."you felt like..."
Charlotte is so worried about hurting other people's feelings. And what the hell is wrong with that. More people should be a sensitive and attuned. Ok, I am commenting as I watch this. Sorry for the multiple comments but it's easier for me that way. I'm halfway through.
I am amazed at how sensitive Charlotte is. She seems stuck in her own mind, constantly interpreting inputs as triggers. She either overly reacts to any slight trigger or she is totally ambivalent and says, “whatever.” Overall, she seems deeply sad, but extremely charming. I can see where alcohol would “enhance” her total being and bring out “the best” in her personality. But I can’t get past the pain I see in her face. She is very pretty but the pain makes her look worn down. My ex, who I loved, had those same qualities. Her face was a window into her being. On one hand, if reflective she looked obviously depressed, hurt, abused, or in pain. But make her smile and her light would glow brightly and light up a room. I did find Charlotte difficult to listen to. She used “like” so much it’s childish and shows a limited education or at least vocabulary. And second, her mind is going so fast she fails to complete a thought verbally before moving on to another thought. What I hear are fragments of her views that I have to stitch together myself. Bottom line, I could easily fall in love with her but would quickly become exhausted trying to “contain” her charming energy. But what a beautiful soul.
Why "contain" her energy? Hmmm
Why do you need to comment on a video like this if u find her dateable ?
You do not need a therapist but more acting on what you already know. You play therapists so unless you come across one that can not be played, it is a waste of time and money. You know enough to get stronger. Stop living in the past that you can't change and stop the vicious circle of the same mistakes. Live so that you regret no decision, be honest, don't look for a relationship until you learn to be a friend. Love from Poland 🇵🇱
I saw the interview with the other therapist that called h😢er a monster to her colleague. This is the problem completely. The fact that Charlotte is TOTALLY alone in the world and has feelings and a heart makes it NOT ACCEPTABLE for that supposed "professional" to call her names and judge her on words when I truly know that it was the Therapist who is sick by judging others.
Capitalist Carrerists! Nothing but that. Concerned with how they themselves appear on film. The "therapist" herself felt she was being looked at as stupid, so Charlotte took the bullet. The therapist not only showed anger but created a synopsis to take vengeance on Charlotte. Her words defined her own sin of judgement. She NEVER liked Charlotte a bit yet boasted that she did. Careerism and stupid pride to blame on the therapist (again, in the other video). End the Mental Health industry Charade. The restrictions are the same as when you put a bird or animal in a cage. Fight for patient's rights!!! Stop the oppression and judgement. But what can we do? This system also is carried with greed and judgement and stripping of freedoms which leave dead bodies. Curb PLEASE your egos. Especially when consent (to their own treatment even destruction) is raised then there goes another one on the chopping block.😢
Why us oh Lord God!? Therapists are no angels or Gods. THEY are the MONSTERS! Personal and financial agenda is all that creates and makes up injustice. Love one another. But what?? Neurosurgeons screaming for more more more......
I've read Hippocrites, Galen and more that Doctors are made to read and study to get licenses. So with the therapist's recommendations often times they BUTCHER and make free individuals succumb to the downright medieval practice.
Dr. Jacob seems to actually feel threatened by Charlotte. Maybe she is used to being the ‘star’ in her field, and after the first interview, Charlotte had become the star, and was much more interesting to watch than the Doctor. I believe the Doctor is well credentialed in her work, and looked up to by her peer group. It almost felt like those games women play with each other in order get a dig in while smiling the entire time. I’m surprised she didn’t pretend not to,remember Charlotte’s name. Too obvious I suppose.
Seriously though, for a Therapist to actually be catty to a patient who has a fragile ego, was just plain mean, and I applaud Charlotte for not letting it slide by. I have zero respect for Dr. Jacob. She tried to abuse her power or authority to intentionally hurt a patient, due to her own insecurities.Guess what? She failed. Not a good person. Wonder what her childhood was like? And, since I’m on a roll, what is with the mustache? Hasn’t Dr. Jacob heard of laser?)
Charlotte doesn't seem particularly authentic. She can talk the talk but her claim that she wants to 'get better' comes off more like someone who wants the distress to go away but isn't willing to accept what needs to be done to get better.