1. Avoid external triggers (lewd images, custody of the eyes) 2. Avoid emotional states that make you susceptible to lust (feelings of being unwanted, feelings of loneliness) 3. Pray pray pray (genuinely) 4. Take control of your day, don't live your day merely reacting to things that happen to you. Instead take control and plan it I'd also like to add a 5th point: Don't live inside your head. Stop looking in the mirror for a second and look around at the people in your daily life also take the time to look at God. I've found that when you stop focusing on yourself so much it becomes much easier to fight this sin 🙏🏼
I say this from experience, but that second one? Avoiding emotional states that make you susceptible to lust? That is incredibly hard. Atleast, that is the case for me, given how my own life is.
Great summation! I would change the word "Avoid" in #2 to "Manage" or "Address" and you can do this simply by praying, talking to a loved one or going to adoration. Still not easy but it could help assuage those tumultuous feelings that can make you act out.
Jessica Barton. -__ god did love. U & the whole. Humanity by sending his. Only. Begotten. Son, Jesus Christ. U. Better. Believed. There' s. Nothing. To explain. Over & over. If you are. Interested. To. Know. More on the. Truth. The bible. Will give u. All the answers and will. Set u. Free. One good advice. Is. To pray and invoke. The holy. Spirit, b. 4. U start. Reading. He. Will. Lead & guide u. You. Can't. Go wrong. Coz, god want u 2. B. Free. With. Peace. Joy. & happiness. In your life. Good. Luck & god bless.
Ginger, enough already. This is a Catholic channel not a evangelical or one of the myriad of protestants denominations. We do not believe in Sola Scriptura, which is unbiblical as well as a heresy.
The Holy Spirit works in youtube algorythm. And yes this applies to the obscure goldies, memes, and cat videos that show up randomly in your feed as well.
@@j.k.6865 Yes the Holy Spirit does work on UA-cam algorithm, the diabolical spirit also messes with UA-cam algorithm as well... We must be on guard againts the grey areas of UA-cam, that's the diabolical
As a protestant Christian who struggles very much with lust, I found this to be very good advice. I know for me that the combination of boredom and loneliness is a deadly foe in this area.
Alondra Ceja Pray the Rosary everyday and bless yourself several times a day with holy water, avoid indecent conversations, avoid television, go to confession every 7 days, communion.
Alondra, know that God loves you just the way you are. Struggles and all. His love never ends for you. Keep up the good fight, find community, and rest in the hope of God's love and mercy for you, you are loved!
St. Thomas Acquinas's four solutions : 1.Avoid external factors that could lead to sin. 2.Avoid or renounce internal thoughts that could lead to sin. 3.Pray Consistently. 4.Getting engrossed in wholesome of engaging activities, and living life in a pseudo-rythmic pattern.
When I’m hungry and sleepy, I feel more vulnerable. I’ve been working on my sleep schedule and it helps me into not falling to this Sin so easily. Pray everyday 🙏🏼
Here’s a good quote I found, attributed to St. Philip Neri. “O Lord, keep Thy hand this day over Philip, if Thou do not, Philip will betray thee.” It’s good to remember that we’re totally dependent on God, and that we’re imperfect.
Demons/evil spirits are also involved in injecting thoughts or recalling memories to tempt you to sin. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Ephesians 6:12
This is so important and so helpful for people who struggle with sin sexually I feel like I have to bookmark this page! Matt Fradd you are truly an inspiring and uplifting man and brother in Christ. Thank you for your awesome message and words, they really, really helped. God bless you always
What about HELPING THE POOR?!! In all the chastity talks I have heard, no one ever mentions helping the poor as a way to overcome selfishness and lust? Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is a young Italian saint who, by the age of 20, had been financially supporting more than 120 poor families in Turin, Italy. He was so busy helping the poor that he didn't have time to be lustful/selfish! Also, we ALL know the power of the Rosary. If you pray the Rosary everyday and do penance, Mary will help you to overcome your sins.
Truman Nguyen Helping the poor will in no way help someone with sexual temptation. Furthermore, if that ones motivation for helping the poor, it seems like it would be very insulting. Becoming "the poor" on the other hand well that just might very well get you the kingdom of heaven.
Mary has absolutely NO power to help us overcome sin. She was a sinful human being just like us. We need to turn to Christ! He is our guide and our refuge not Mary.
Thank you for this video, this is truly a godsend! I got addicted to porn because I was a freshman in high school and didn’t realize that a woman doesn’t have to be naked for it to be porn. When I realized it was porn, I quit that night, and went on about my life. However, over the past few months, the urges and withdrawals have hit me full force, and my defenses started to crumble, but I’ve held out. I’ve prayed for help, and this is the answers to those prayers. Just bluntly telling the answers I’ve already known really helped me have a guide to overcoming lust. Thanks a lot and God bless!
"My God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you." Mind blown. I'm saving snippets of faithful statements to write my own prayers and that sentence definitely makes the list.
I can't say I'm Christian, but this was a very good video! I've struggled with similar things in the past. I must say, Aquinas, being one of my favorite philosophers I'm surprised I had not heard this before. Thank you!
Praepes I'd reccomend Matt Fradds podcast 'Pints with Aquinas', he covers many different topics from lust to drunkardness and everything else in between from the perspective of St. Thomas Aquinas and in light of his summa theologia
Really appreciate this comment @Praepes. I have a lot of non-christian friends and it's interesting to me how many of them struggle with this, but are very silent about it.
Isn't sexual desire healthy and normal? Doesn't overcontrolling it make you ill? Erectile disfunction or anorgasmia? Or maybe frustration as an adolescent may turn you into a maniac a pervert. Good to control our desires and passions, but we must look at things with a scientific eye and forgive ourselves to avoid going crazy. Of course pornography is a big no, it's a drug. Anything that becomes an obsession or takes too much time, also masturbation, must be controlled. But eliminating masturbation or thinking it is always sinful is (to my moral and all the Christians I know moral) just ridiculous. Not many of us were designed to be able to do the same thing. Maybe you are not able to live in poverty, like a Christian should do, but you can control sexual needs better. I may be more capable at finding the time to volunteer and give my time to people in need for free, I may be more generous with money and more forgiving but less pure sexually speaking. We must accept who we are. Only God can read in our hearts and judge us.
Being a woman who has been divorced & been Intimate can be very difficult! I been praying the rosary & trying so hard to be good and sin less but I fall into temptation with even a touch of a man 😞.. I battle with this when I date & still I haven’t found a man that is willing to wait on being intimate especially if they too have been intimate before.. Prayers for all those who battle Lust like myself ❤️🙏🏽
I know how you feel. When my girlfriend and I became catholic we stopped being intimate and it is difficult. I'd recommend finding someone who takes the faith as seriously as you do, and I pray that you can. And when you do, maybe say the rosary together to fight lust and build an association woth them that isn't lust.
Maria, I have not dated after converting but I can relate to you... not all of us Catholics are 1) Priests and nums 2) husbands and wives. What about the rest of us who have no perennial chastity vows (and a consecrated style of life that will cooperate to your chastity) nor a husband/wife with whom explore your sexuality according to the Church? It is a difficult place to be. I guess all places must have their challenges. Being married and not being supposed to use artificial contraception methods must be another hard place to be at... if you don't want kids (or.more kids)...
Wow... I loved the way you explained it and the part of ''My God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you'' struck my head. This battle with lust seems like and endless and huge battle for me, but I feel relieved in the sense that I am not alone and the Holy Spirit finds its ways for leading me into what I should see and listen. I'm definitely not implementing these 4 advices you're giving, but I must try them and seek Lord's help every time I'm struggling with this.
Matt, Angel of God.....I am 63 and been struggling with both homosexuality and pornography since age 12......Tried everything....Missing mass time and time again...tired to confess the same sins over and over again.....I just look at it as cross to carry to the very end....Yes, it would be wonderful to have lived or start living a Christ centered life....but believe me....I have tried so many times and failed. I thank God in Heaven for good wonderful people like you....knowing that if you a mere mortal like me has love and compassion toward people struggling like me.....I can only imagine how deeper Christ's love is for struggling folks as myself.....Thank You for your wonderful words of hope.
no matter what happens, don't break your relationship with God. be open to Him and tell Him what's on your mind; we see this a lot in the psalms. keep praying with a soft heart and He will guide you. may God bless :)
Possibly so, Patty. When I was younger, I used to write off all coincidence as, well, coincidence. After many years (I may be a slow learner) of having certain patterns of what I previously considered coincidence almost routinely occur, I'm at the 'you never know' level. I do think it may be a mistake to assume divine intervention all the time. But equally a mistake to assume any given thing isn't God working in our lives.
Admitting earlier in life I struggled with this requires me to realize I'm not the only one, and witnessing I traded my shame with God's Grace for the joy the Lord gives in letting His Grace overcome not only sinning in some of the ways spoken here but the concupiscence or desire to sin that way. It is difficult to put into words, but the God given graces to use time growing in virtue with more thoughts, prayers, words, and actions devoted to help neighbor's in a brokenhearted world gives overflowing living water from Heaven that is inexhaustible. While God Graced me not to have anxiety to fall back; I make sure to rely on God not to fall into rationalizations, for example, thinking going beyond natural attraction thoughts would be OK. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:2 It seems to many that any type of addiction hinders the flow of inner peace, charity, hope, and joy this living water gives in abundance to the depth on how much each of us cooperates with the Grace Given through Jesus Christ.
I think of what the lord has done for me, he's given me inner peace in my life, a good stable job just days after getting baptised and confirmed ending a 12 year period of unemployment and genuine love for for people that I've never had my entire life. When I stumble in sexual sin which is a weakness for me, I can't help but feel truly awful; I'm angry with myself and I worry what the Lord must think of me. I think this is how I repay the Lord for all the blessings and love he's given me. I can't even look up at the crucifix on my bedroom wall to apologise.
After having tried to be celibate for the last 6 months I have come to the conclusion that being celibate in this world is like; trying to lose weight while having an unlimited supply of tasty cookies in front of you. thanks I'll keep these tips in mind.
Sexual Sins is like an everlasting battle, I hate myself every time I fall, it is a bad time to be my age in society, where everything is sexualised, it is horrible, I can't find true happiness with this addiction, please pray for me I want to break free from this, the shackles that holds me back from understanding people and loving properly
Right on time. Spoke directly to my spirit. Half of my new lifestyle goals was mentioned in this video. God sent me here, he is with me. Thk u for making this video. God bless u.
This is a really helpful video. I'm married now but my younger sister has lust issues and no one at her church helps women because they believe women don't have lust at all. This is common problem in the USA since attraction is thought of as only a male concern.
Thank you for these comments on the subject of lust. I find the number one key for me is in training the eyes to instantaneously look away from any image that could possibly stimulate a lustful response. We are bombarded with images daily . . . Real life images of provocatively-clad people, and electronic potentially lust-triggering images through computers, televisions, and mobile phones. Even non-pornographic media can be filled with potentially lustful images, especially in the advertisements. Our eyes are quick, and eyes subject to a desire for purity can find the way to avert quickly in order to look upon something neutral or even something beautiful (in an aesthetic sense). My best wishes and prayers for all who are striving towards purity and holiness in their lives.
I've underestimated the fourth advice so often and fallen repeatedly to sin.However, this video has pointed me to want the virtue of being wholesome. This video was indeed wholesome 😀thank you. God loves. #aquinasFTW
@@armandoalmeida4414 It works but you also have to work at putting your mind in a healthier place. I don't have the mind for it yet unfortunately. Seen some promise though.
Thank you, Mr. Frad. I love the depth and intellectuality of your videos and the elements of philosophy and theology that you incorporate into them. Thank you!
My trigger is that I am almost 34 and may never get married(cuz things aren't going so great for me..). At this "advanced age", I managed to get into a great university to do an MBA. I breaks my heart to see couples half my age, so in love etc... At this point, I have no friends either. Zero. Nobody to talk to. The pain in my heart is indescribable.
Not sure if things have changed for you since you wrote this post… but attaining material/social entrapments does not shield you from susceptibility to temptation or various urges!… in some ways it can make it worse! Also, keep in mind that things are not always what they seem to be to a typical observer of human behavior, whatever they may be! Perception and reality are often 2 different things….but sometimes your view of things will pave your reality!
I have a romantic relationship with my girlfriend, Heidi. Sometimes whenever I’m with her, my lustful feelings towards her get out of hand. I remember reading the Gospel of Saint Matthew 5:27-28. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The point is that I shouldn’t let my sexual feelings with Heidi get out of hand. I’m trying to maintain a healthy and romantic relationship with her. If things become unhealthy with my relationship with Heidi, it’ll lead to dire consequences and deep trouble. Here’s a list of ways to overcome lust. 1. Stop tempting myself. 2. Learn respect for yourself and others. 3. Avoid drugs and alcohol 4. Acknowledge your needs 5. Look for alternative philosophies 6. Be prepared. 7. Bounce your eyes 8. Focus on a hobby 9. Pray or recite a memorized verse 10. Avoid the causes of your temptation 11. Hang out in groups 12. Spend time together in safe places 13. Look at their eyes 14. Partake in friendly activities 15. Don’t touch them 16. Do right by the object of your affection. 17. Acknowledge that you need help. 18. If you’re a Catholic Christian like me, speak to your Catholic priest. If you’re Eastern Orthodox Christian, speak to your Orthodox priest. 19. Sequester yourself 20. Remember the problems that lust creates. 21. Pray for God’s help. I founded this information on www.wikihow.com.
The part about thoughts is verya ccurate I think. I have found the most effective way to deal with lust was by training my brain to bounce from bad thoughts to others. Basically refusing to fantasize. Same with custody of the eyes. If you see something in public that is triggering, look away, look up. Train yourself that it isn't worth it to look. Basically if you aren't allowing the seed to be planted, then no weed will have a chance to grow.
there is a heck of a lot in this discussion. the guy gave it a good shot. a much longer discussion on the matter would be so worthwhile. he likely would be very capable of such a discussion.
Thank you for your message. I needed to hear it. I especially appreciate your inclusion of women participating in pornography. So many times they are either not referred to at all or not much. Like this can or is only a man's sin, when in fact it is a fast growing woman's sin as well. Thank you
Thank you for the amazing video! Subbed and clicked the bell. I couldn't help but chuckle every time he said "come". That fourth one really hit home for me. I have online classes so I'm not going anywhere doing anything and I've been trying to change but it's hard to stop your day to day habits. Please pray for me.😔 PS not watching this at 2 am would be a good start😂
I’ve been facing lust in extreme measures now. It’s for sure me keeping in contact with a certain person. I know i can’t keep talking to her, but also I don’t want her to feel rejected. I talked to her about it today and I felt like I repented. Now I have to stop.
To be quite honest, my biggest lust problem is masturbation. I used to do it all of the time and I cut way back on it and try to avoid it but I get these urges and not necessarily get it while on my phone or tv. These urges come on especially when I am bored and got nothing to do. I am also a very lonely person, don’t have anybody my age to befriend. I do need to pray more. I agree with all of your solutions but I hear from many that everyone needs a spiritual director and I agree I need one but it’s not easy to find one. I feel that if I do fall in sin, even habitual ones, I can’t despair! When I fall off the horse I get back on. Repent of those sins and go on doing one’s best to avoid them. That’s all one can do.
It is amazing, you are not going to believe me but when I converted I knew I had to flee the thoughts, the day-dreaming, the TV shows, the companies, the books, just like you said... I had never read Thomas Aquinas but I had this "internal" immediate knowledge of what to avoid, even if that at the time I wasn't sure why. #AskMattFradd Do you think this was the Holy Ghost acting? I think it was. It certainly wasn't me alone.
Great video, mature and direct. It was not patronizing or fluff for the mind and soul. I don't like those God cheerleader type videos. We know life can be hard at times and there are no easy answers just timeless known truths
Lustfulness destroyed my life and relationships, and all I really wanted is someone to love and spend my life with, being rejected and cheated on by my ex wife led me down a path seeking companionship which just led to sin and self hatred. I have let God into my life again and ask Jesus every day to guide me along the path he has chosen for me.
1. Problem. Existence without total focus on something is my trigger. At the same time I can watch full on HCP without triggering. Indeed, my trigger is 5 minutes to think... 2. Also problem. While emotional states make it worse... they're also not required. Just existing. 3. Okay, doing that. (Except I don't do it to soothe myself or anything like that) 4. I do that. I plan I plan I plan... and then I go to bed and oh look I have 5 minutes of waking thoughts and it's 1:30 later and I'm still awake with a problem that won't go away, even after praying the entire time. So what's the solution for me? Just hope I get the grace one day?
#askmattfradd I have many difficulties with doubt. Whether it be doubting the existence of God in times of darkness, doubting His Love for me when ashamed, or doubting in myself to be able to do God's work...etc. Do you have any tips to overcoming doubt and learning to trust? I'm a catechumen and it'd be awesome to build my faith further dispelling doubt. Thanks so much!!
Chris Thai trust is important, you have to trust and love God with all your heart if you are doubting him, pray to God ask for a heart of flesh so you can love him more and you could just spend time reading the bible and searching for God x God bless you my friend 🙏🏼💖
Chris Thai try praying the rosary everyday Chris. Is truly is amazing, it just takes 20 minutes. I'll pray for you today for sure! We've all been there.
fragwagon Yuuup, Chris - the Holy Rosary is the way to go. Let our Lady lead you by the hand, she will always lead us back to her Son, our One and Last end, and bring us solace. To Jesus through Mary!
I agree, jase. Chris has already demonstrated desire with that question. Chris - one thing, though. Why did you ask it here? Nothing wrong with that, but hopefully you also are taking the question to God, as well as one of His priests.
God’s unlikeness to human beings is asserted in Bible: God does not sleep (Ps. 121:4); he is not a human being that he should lie or change his mind (Num. 23:19; 1 Sam. 15:29). Blessings. Amen
I think I once heard that the Olympians were metaphysical vending machines to the ancient Greeks. It was not a matter of believing in the Greek gods, but simply, doing the ritual or whatever to whichever god, and getting the result.
1. Avoid external triggers (lewd images, custody of the eyes)
2. Avoid emotional states that make you susceptible to lust (feelings of being unwanted, feelings of loneliness)
3. Pray pray pray (genuinely)
4. Take control of your day, don't live your day merely reacting to things that happen to you. Instead take control and plan it
I'd also like to add a 5th point:
Don't live inside your head. Stop looking in the mirror for a second and look around at the people in your daily life also take the time to look at God. I've found that when you stop focusing on yourself so much it becomes much easier to fight this sin 🙏🏼
I say this from experience, but that second one? Avoiding emotional states that make you susceptible to lust? That is incredibly hard. Atleast, that is the case for me, given how my own life is.
How can u follow number 2? Hard in practice
Great summation! I would change the word "Avoid" in #2 to "Manage" or "Address" and you can do this simply by praying, talking to a loved one or going to adoration. Still not easy but it could help assuage those tumultuous feelings that can make you act out.
Best quote: "My God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you."
Jessica Barton. -__ god did love. U & the whole. Humanity by sending his. Only. Begotten. Son, Jesus Christ. U. Better. Believed. There' s. Nothing. To explain. Over & over. If you are. Interested. To. Know. More on the. Truth. The bible. Will give u. All the answers and will. Set u. Free. One good advice. Is. To pray and invoke. The holy. Spirit, b. 4. U start. Reading. He. Will. Lead & guide u. You. Can't. Go wrong. Coz, god want u 2. B. Free. With. Peace. Joy. & happiness. In your life. Good. Luck & god bless.
Ginger, enough already. This is a Catholic channel not a evangelical or one of the myriad of protestants denominations. We do not believe in Sola Scriptura, which is unbiblical as well as a heresy.
P B My apologies, it was my mom who made the comment and is very devoted. She didn’t mean for it to sound rude or anything of that nature.
The best quote of my life
Yeah, when he said this prayer, it made me cry. I need to start praying that one.
This came up "randomly" in my UA-cam feed, but really, It wasn't random was it, God?
Not random at all! Nothing is "random".
Humans can find a pattern in almost everything...
If everything happens for a reson, resons might as well not exist.
The Holy Spirit works in youtube algorythm. And yes this applies to the obscure goldies, memes, and cat videos that show up randomly in your feed as well.
@@j.k.6865 Yes the Holy Spirit does work on UA-cam algorithm, the diabolical spirit also messes with UA-cam algorithm as well... We must be on guard againts the grey areas of UA-cam, that's the diabolical
As a protestant Christian who struggles very much with lust, I found this to be very good advice. I know for me that the combination of boredom and loneliness is a deadly foe in this area.
It’s been 3 years for me and I am tired 😔 it’s really tough to get rid of lustful sins. It’s so hard and I feel disheartened. Please pray for me 🙏🏻
Alondra Ceja Keep praying, ask Jesus to help you with this. Our Lady's rosary is another powerful weapon you can pray.
Alondra Ceja Pray the Rosary everyday and bless yourself several times a day with holy water, avoid indecent conversations, avoid television, go to confession every 7 days, communion.
Alondra, know that God loves you just the way you are. Struggles and all. His love never ends for you. Keep up the good fight, find community, and rest in the hope of God's love and mercy for you, you are loved!
Prayers are coming your way sister!!
disheartened hey, the usual responses don't help much do they ?
“...my God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you...”. You’re in my prayers. God Bless you Matt.
In my experience, the Rosary is indispensable for this.
bob smith Amen!
It’s indispensable, period.
bob smith
Same
Amen.
Rosary Palms, I presume?
Whew, this came right on time for me. Thank you!
Same! And there was a porn convention in town this last weekend. And their ads were right on my way to and from work too!
St. Thomas Acquinas's four solutions :
1.Avoid external factors that could lead to sin.
2.Avoid or renounce internal thoughts that could lead to sin.
3.Pray Consistently.
4.Getting engrossed in wholesome of engaging activities, and living life in a pseudo-rythmic pattern.
When I’m hungry and sleepy, I feel more vulnerable. I’ve been working on my sleep schedule and it helps me into not falling to this Sin so easily. Pray everyday 🙏🏼
Here’s a good quote I found, attributed to St. Philip Neri.
“O Lord, keep Thy hand this day over Philip, if Thou do not, Philip will betray thee.”
It’s good to remember that we’re totally dependent on God, and that we’re imperfect.
Demons/evil spirits are also involved in injecting thoughts or recalling memories to tempt you to sin.
Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Ephesians 6:12
This is so important and so helpful for people who struggle with sin sexually I feel like I have to bookmark this page! Matt Fradd you are truly an inspiring and uplifting man and brother in Christ. Thank you for your awesome message and words, they really, really helped. God bless you always
All of this is correct in my experience. Even certain songs can be mental triggers for impure thoughts. Be careful my friends
Connor Deen The best is Gregorian Chant and Classic music, makes you safe.
depends, Samson and Delila by Saint-Saëns is pretty dang saucy!
Yeah, some people forget how 'porny' some songs are.
What about HELPING THE POOR?!! In all the chastity talks I have heard, no one ever mentions helping the poor as a way to overcome selfishness and lust? Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is a young Italian saint who, by the age of 20, had been financially supporting more than 120 poor families in Turin, Italy. He was so busy helping the poor that he didn't have time to be lustful/selfish! Also, we ALL know the power of the Rosary. If you pray the Rosary everyday and do penance, Mary will help you to overcome your sins.
Truman Nguyen Thank you!
Great input!
Truman Nguyen
Helping the poor will in no way help someone with sexual temptation. Furthermore, if that ones motivation for helping the poor, it seems like it would be very insulting.
Becoming "the poor" on the other hand well that just might very well get you the kingdom of heaven.
any way of reconciliation with God is purification of the soul
Mary has absolutely NO power to help us overcome sin. She was a sinful human being just like us. We need to turn to Christ! He is our guide and our refuge not Mary.
Thank you for this video, this is truly a godsend! I got addicted to porn because I was a freshman in high school and didn’t realize that a woman doesn’t have to be naked for it to be porn. When I realized it was porn, I quit that night, and went on about my life. However, over the past few months, the urges and withdrawals have hit me full force, and my defenses started to crumble, but I’ve held out. I’ve prayed for help, and this is the answers to those prayers. Just bluntly telling the answers I’ve already known really helped me have a guide to overcoming lust. Thanks a lot and God bless!
"My God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you."
Mind blown. I'm saving snippets of faithful statements to write my own prayers and that sentence definitely makes the list.
Im a protestant but this guy so far seems very wise and practical
I can't say I'm Christian, but this was a very good video! I've struggled with similar things in the past. I must say, Aquinas, being one of my favorite philosophers I'm surprised I had not heard this before. Thank you!
Praepes I'd reccomend Matt Fradds podcast 'Pints with Aquinas', he covers many different topics from lust to drunkardness and everything else in between from the perspective of St. Thomas Aquinas and in light of his summa theologia
Really appreciate this comment @Praepes. I have a lot of non-christian friends and it's interesting to me how many of them struggle with this, but are very silent about it.
@@ChurchVidTV because if they say something that’s admitting they are at fault and they need help for the flesh is weak. Almighty help perhaps.
Young seminarians asked 80 years old bishop: "at what estimated age the sexual desire will stop?"; bishop:"I'll let you know as soon as I'll know".
😱
If I were still horny at 80 I think I would simply chop it off.....
Isn't sexual desire healthy and normal? Doesn't overcontrolling it make you ill? Erectile disfunction or anorgasmia? Or maybe frustration as an adolescent may turn you into a maniac a pervert. Good to control our desires and passions, but we must look at things with a scientific eye and forgive ourselves to avoid going crazy. Of course pornography is a big no, it's a drug. Anything that becomes an obsession or takes too much time, also masturbation, must be controlled. But eliminating masturbation or thinking it is always sinful is (to my moral and all the Christians I know moral) just ridiculous. Not many of us were designed to be able to do the same thing. Maybe you are not able to live in poverty, like a Christian should do, but you can control sexual needs better. I may be more capable at finding the time to volunteer and give my time to people in need for free, I may be more generous with money and more forgiving but less pure sexually speaking. We must accept who we are. Only God can read in our hearts and judge us.
@@danhope77 this is ridiculous cope.
Boredom and loneliness is a major part of this for me. So I'm going to try to go out more with my family.
I know this is an old video, but it stills helps so much, please pray for me as I pray for those who are struggling.
Being a woman who has been divorced & been Intimate can be very difficult! I been praying the rosary & trying so hard to be good and sin less but I fall into temptation with even a touch of a man 😞.. I battle with this when I date & still I haven’t found a man that is willing to wait on being intimate especially if they too have been intimate before.. Prayers for all those who battle Lust like myself ❤️🙏🏽
Maria Elizabeth I feel for you. Porn addict for 16 yrs. Finally just breaking free. Keep praying the rosary everyday.
I know how you feel. When my girlfriend and I became catholic we stopped being intimate and it is difficult. I'd recommend finding someone who takes the faith as seriously as you do, and I pray that you can. And when you do, maybe say the rosary together to fight lust and build an association woth them that isn't lust.
AlphaZoa5 I do the rosary everyday! I still struggle & you are right about finding a man with the same faith & foundation. Thank you! God Bless 🙏🏽
You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. God bless you too.
Maria, I have not dated after converting but I can relate to you... not all of us Catholics are 1) Priests and nums 2) husbands and wives. What about the rest of us who have no perennial chastity vows (and a consecrated style of life that will cooperate to your chastity) nor a husband/wife with whom explore your sexuality according to the Church? It is a difficult place to be. I guess all places must have their challenges. Being married and not being supposed to use artificial contraception methods must be another hard place to be at... if you don't want kids (or.more kids)...
Wow... I loved the way you explained it and the part of ''My God, tell me you love me until I finally believe you'' struck my head. This battle with lust seems like and endless and huge battle for me, but I feel relieved in the sense that I am not alone and the Holy Spirit finds its ways for leading me into what I should see and listen. I'm definitely not implementing these 4 advices you're giving, but I must try them and seek Lord's help every time I'm struggling with this.
Matt, Angel of God.....I am 63 and been struggling with both homosexuality and pornography since age 12......Tried everything....Missing mass time and time again...tired to confess the same sins over and over again.....I just look at it as cross to carry to the very end....Yes, it would be wonderful to have lived or start living a Christ centered life....but believe me....I have tried so many times and failed. I thank God in Heaven for good wonderful people like you....knowing that if you a mere mortal like me has love and compassion toward people struggling like me.....I can only imagine how deeper Christ's love is for struggling folks as myself.....Thank You for your wonderful words of hope.
no matter what happens, don't break your relationship with God. be open to Him and tell Him what's on your mind; we see this a lot in the psalms. keep praying with a soft heart and He will guide you. may God bless :)
praying for all who are struggling with lust
This advice is universal for all faiths. Amen
The second video in a row that mentions Thomas Aquinas. And I chose that for my confirmation name. I think TA is trying to tell me something.
PattyFunCakes Nice!!!
He also does a podcast called pints with aquinas
Possibly so, Patty. When I was younger, I used to write off all coincidence as, well, coincidence. After many years (I may be a slow learner) of having certain patterns of what I previously considered coincidence almost routinely occur, I'm at the 'you never know' level. I do think it may be a mistake to assume divine intervention all the time. But equally a mistake to assume any given thing isn't God working in our lives.
PattyFunCakes PattyFunThomasCakes 😁
PattyFunCakes it helps that Matt Fradd is practically obsessed with St. Thomas Aquinas.
Admitting earlier in life I struggled with this requires me to realize I'm not the only one, and witnessing I traded my shame with God's Grace for the joy the Lord gives in letting His Grace overcome not only sinning in some of the ways spoken here but the concupiscence or desire to sin that way. It is difficult to put into words, but the God given graces to use time growing in virtue with more thoughts, prayers, words, and actions devoted to help neighbor's in a brokenhearted world gives overflowing living water from Heaven that is inexhaustible. While God Graced me not to have anxiety to fall back; I make sure to rely on God not to fall into rationalizations, for example, thinking going beyond natural attraction thoughts would be OK. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:2 It seems to many that any type of addiction hinders the flow of inner peace, charity, hope, and joy this living water gives in abundance to the depth on how much each of us cooperates with the Grace Given through Jesus Christ.
This was a much needed cameo of Matt Fradd in Ascension Presents. Thank you Matt for what you do 🙏🏻
so good!! love having Matt Fradd on Ascension Presents!!!
"God is not a metaphysical vending machine"...wow...
Thank you very much... We all need this
After watching the movie Unplanned, i overcame lust, INSTANTLY!
I think of what the lord has done for me, he's given me inner peace in my life, a good stable job just days after getting baptised and confirmed ending a 12 year period of unemployment and genuine love for for people that I've never had my entire life. When I stumble in sexual sin which is a weakness for me, I can't help but feel truly awful; I'm angry with myself and I worry what the Lord must think of me. I think this is how I repay the Lord for all the blessings and love he's given me. I can't even look up at the crucifix on my bedroom wall to apologise.
Okay, stop with the guilt complex. Just keep working hard to improve yourself. That's all anyone can ask.
After having tried to be celibate for the last 6 months I have come to the conclusion that being celibate in this world is like; trying to lose weight while having an unlimited supply of tasty cookies in front of you. thanks I'll keep these tips in mind.
Still it is required to be caste, do not fall into the temptation of those cookies, which only lead you to destruction and death
Praying the rosary has helped me ALOT
Sexual Sins is like an everlasting battle, I hate myself every time I fall, it is a bad time to be my age in society, where everything is sexualised, it is horrible, I can't find true happiness with this addiction, please pray for me I want to break free from this, the shackles that holds me back from understanding people and loving properly
Right on time. Spoke directly to my spirit. Half of my new lifestyle goals was mentioned in this video. God sent me here, he is with me. Thk u for making this video. God bless u.
This is a really helpful video. I'm married now but my younger sister has lust issues and no one at her church helps women because they believe women don't have lust at all. This is common problem in the USA since attraction is thought of as only a male concern.
'Love people use things' is an awesome podcast, I highly reccomend listening to it.
Thank you for these comments on the subject of lust. I find the number one key for me is in training the eyes to instantaneously look away from any image that could possibly stimulate a lustful response. We are bombarded with images daily . . . Real life images of provocatively-clad people, and electronic potentially lust-triggering images through computers, televisions, and mobile phones. Even non-pornographic media can be filled with potentially lustful images, especially in the advertisements.
Our eyes are quick, and eyes subject to a desire for purity can find the way to avert quickly in order to look upon something neutral or even something beautiful (in an aesthetic sense).
My best wishes and prayers for all who are striving towards purity and holiness in their lives.
I've underestimated the fourth advice so often and fallen repeatedly to sin.However, this video has pointed me to want the virtue of being wholesome.
This video was indeed wholesome 😀thank you. God loves.
#aquinasFTW
Thank you Matt. This kind of talk inspire me to avoid temptation. Stay blessed❤
If you pray the chaplet of St Michael one of the choirs assists us in dealing with " depraved passion " hope it helps
barry mcgrath 👍🏽👍🏽
barry mcgrath Does it work?
@@armandoalmeida4414 It works but you also have to work at putting your mind in a healthier place. I don't have the mind for it yet unfortunately. Seen some promise though.
Thank you, Mr. Frad. I love the depth and intellectuality of your videos and the elements of philosophy and theology that you incorporate into them. Thank you!
Great stuff. How refreshing and authentic this was!
Great video, I am learning to appreciate Aquinas more and Matt, of course
My trigger is that I am almost 34 and may never get married(cuz things aren't going so great for me..).
At this "advanced age", I managed to get into a great university to do an MBA. I breaks my heart to see couples half my age, so in love etc...
At this point, I have no friends either. Zero. Nobody to talk to. The pain in my heart is indescribable.
Not sure if things have changed for you since you wrote this post… but attaining material/social entrapments does not shield you from susceptibility to temptation or various urges!… in some ways it can make it worse!
Also, keep in mind that things are not always what they seem to be to a typical observer of human behavior, whatever they may be!
Perception and reality are often 2 different things….but sometimes your view of things will pave your reality!
I have a romantic relationship with my girlfriend, Heidi. Sometimes whenever I’m with her, my lustful feelings towards her get out of hand. I remember reading the Gospel of Saint Matthew 5:27-28.
“You have heard that it was said to those of old,
‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The point is that I shouldn’t let my sexual feelings with Heidi get out of hand. I’m trying to maintain a healthy and romantic relationship with her. If things become unhealthy with my relationship with Heidi, it’ll lead to dire consequences and deep trouble.
Here’s a list of ways to overcome lust.
1. Stop tempting myself.
2. Learn respect for yourself and others.
3. Avoid drugs and alcohol
4. Acknowledge your needs
5. Look for alternative philosophies
6. Be prepared.
7. Bounce your eyes
8. Focus on a hobby
9. Pray or recite a memorized verse
10. Avoid the causes of your temptation
11. Hang out in groups
12. Spend time together in safe places
13. Look at their eyes
14. Partake in friendly activities
15. Don’t touch them
16. Do right by the object of your affection.
17. Acknowledge that you need help.
18. If you’re a Catholic Christian like me, speak to your Catholic priest. If you’re Eastern Orthodox Christian, speak to your Orthodox priest.
19. Sequester yourself
20. Remember the problems that lust creates.
21. Pray for God’s help.
I founded this information on www.wikihow.com.
The part about thoughts is verya ccurate I think. I have found the most effective way to deal with lust was by training my brain to bounce from bad thoughts to others. Basically refusing to fantasize. Same with custody of the eyes. If you see something in public that is triggering, look away, look up. Train yourself that it isn't worth it to look.
Basically if you aren't allowing the seed to be planted, then no weed will have a chance to grow.
there is a heck of a lot in this discussion.
the guy gave it a good shot.
a much longer discussion on the matter would be so worthwhile. he likely would be very capable of such a discussion.
Thank you for your message. I needed to hear it. I especially appreciate your inclusion of women participating in pornography. So many times they are either not referred to at all or not much. Like this can or is only a man's sin, when in fact it is a fast growing woman's sin as well.
Thank you
Agreed. Women have to take responsibility too. Not just men.
God bless you and the team behind all this.
Thank you Leslie! Please keep all of us at Ascension in your prayers! You are certainly in ours :)
Your study is commendable on this.
Your insight is invaluable, thank you 🙏
I really needed this...thank you so much!
Thank you Matt, just what I need. God bless you
Great video Matt. Thanks for the encouragement!
Sound advice. Thanks, Matt, and God bless you.
"I don't know what the secret is, it seems pretty obvious to me" LOL!
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing
Bookmark this video and replay as needed
This the most perfect practical advice I heard.
This battle feels impossible at times but deep down I know lust keeps me from connecting with God. I need to try again and again and again and again.
What Matt said was spot on!!! Amazing video.
Stay by Jesus!
God bless you!!! Keep fighting the good fight!!!
Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Great points to have in mind. Love the podcast as well!! Following it since Integrity Restored 👌👌👌
Thanks a ton. All this is stuff I haven’t put my attention to properly, gonna change.
Wow needed this message so much
Thank you for the amazing video! Subbed and clicked the bell. I couldn't help but chuckle every time he said "come". That fourth one really hit home for me. I have online classes so I'm not going anywhere doing anything and I've been trying to change but it's hard to stop your day to day habits. Please pray for me.😔
PS not watching this at 2 am would be a good start😂
Thank you Matt Frad ❤️
I’ve been facing lust in extreme measures now. It’s for sure me keeping in contact with a certain person. I know i can’t keep talking to her, but also I don’t want her to feel rejected. I talked to her about it today and I felt like I repented. Now I have to stop.
thank you matt. that was good information i needed to hear. God bless you.
Kudos my friend. Very well presented. Thanks 4 all U do :)
What a great video and all of matts videos are great. His ministry can help many. God bless him.
I could relate to everything he said. This really helped!
To be quite honest, my biggest lust problem is masturbation. I used to do it all of the time and I cut way back on it and try to avoid it but I get these urges and not necessarily get it while on my phone or tv. These urges come on especially when I am bored and got nothing to do. I am also a very lonely person, don’t have anybody my age to befriend. I do need to pray more. I agree with all of your solutions but I hear from many that everyone needs a spiritual director and I agree I need one but it’s not easy to find one. I feel that if I do fall in sin, even habitual ones, I can’t despair! When I fall off the horse I get back on. Repent of those sins and go on doing one’s best to avoid them. That’s all one can do.
God Bless you for telling it like it is. As christians we need orators who are speaking with the lips of the Holy Spirit. Jeff
Gods looking out for me ❤️ I feel loved
You are indeed.
It is amazing, you are not going to believe me but when I converted I knew I had to flee the thoughts, the day-dreaming, the TV shows, the companies, the books, just like you said... I had never read Thomas Aquinas but I had this "internal" immediate knowledge of what to avoid, even if that at the time I wasn't sure why. #AskMattFradd Do you think this was the Holy Ghost acting? I think it was. It certainly wasn't me alone.
Great video. I really needed it!
Great informative video. God bless people's honesty and openness.
Thank you for this.
Great video, mature and direct. It was not patronizing or fluff for the mind and soul. I don't like those God cheerleader type videos. We know life can be hard at times and there are no easy answers just timeless known truths
Angelic Warfare Confraternity was helpful for me
Lustfulness destroyed my life and relationships, and all I really wanted is someone to love and spend my life with, being rejected and cheated on by my ex wife led me down a path seeking companionship which just led to sin and self hatred. I have let God into my life again and ask Jesus every day to guide me along the path he has chosen for me.
Good sound Catholic advice . Thanks
This is denfinately helpful, thank you.
1. Problem. Existence without total focus on something is my trigger. At the same time I can watch full on HCP without triggering. Indeed, my trigger is 5 minutes to think...
2. Also problem. While emotional states make it worse... they're also not required. Just existing.
3. Okay, doing that. (Except I don't do it to soothe myself or anything like that)
4. I do that. I plan I plan I plan... and then I go to bed and oh look I have 5 minutes of waking thoughts and it's 1:30 later and I'm still awake with a problem that won't go away, even after praying the entire time.
So what's the solution for me? Just hope I get the grace one day?
very insightful but funny, I laughed most of the times. Thanks for sharing
Thank you, this video has been extremely helpful for me
#askmattfradd I have many difficulties with doubt. Whether it be doubting the existence of God in times of darkness, doubting His Love for me when ashamed, or doubting in myself to be able to do God's work...etc. Do you have any tips to overcoming doubt and learning to trust? I'm a catechumen and it'd be awesome to build my faith further dispelling doubt. Thanks so much!!
Chris Thai trust is important, you have to trust and love God with all your heart if you are doubting him, pray to God ask for a heart of flesh so you can love him more and you could just spend time reading the bible and searching for God x God bless you my friend 🙏🏼💖
Chris Thai try praying the rosary everyday Chris. Is truly is amazing, it just takes 20 minutes. I'll pray for you today for sure! We've all been there.
fragwagon Yuuup, Chris - the Holy Rosary is the way to go. Let our Lady lead you by the hand, she will always lead us back to her Son, our One and Last end, and bring us solace. To Jesus through Mary!
Chris Thai - Welcome to the Church. The search and desire to do God's will is a great act of faith and trust.
I agree, jase. Chris has already demonstrated desire with that question.
Chris - one thing, though. Why did you ask it here? Nothing wrong with that, but hopefully you also are taking the question to God, as well as one of His priests.
Such a beautiful video!!
Inspiring. God bless you too!
God bless! thank you for the advice!
God’s unlikeness to human beings is asserted in Bible:
God does not sleep (Ps. 121:4); he is not a human being that he should lie or change his mind (Num. 23:19; 1 Sam. 15:29).
Blessings.
Amen
Thank God for these tips. I hope to be able to live by them as soon as I can.
It's Matt Fradd!!!
I think I once heard that the Olympians were metaphysical vending machines to the ancient Greeks.
It was not a matter of believing in the Greek gods, but simply, doing the ritual or whatever to whichever god, and getting the result.