My Complicated Relationship with California...
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- Опубліковано 12 гру 2024
- This video contains pieces of my journey through the length of the state of California. I didn't record a lot of my stops here because I just couldn't find the will to pick up the camera. I am determined to try to explore California again at some point in the future, but for now, I need to leave. I just wanted to share this video to explain myself as to why I only filmed Sequoia National Park and then seemingly left California. It's a little random, but alas, I don't film well when grumpy. Trust me, I tried. I did check out Redwoods, but it was super foggy the three days I was there... and we know how poorly I do in the fog... Anyways, thanks for watching and enjoy the weekend everyone!
I get it Angie. I was born and raised in SoCal. California is so huge. I remember working in northern Cal and I was really home sick. NorCal is so much different than SoCal. Both are beautiful. My home is SoCal and I love it. Love your videos. Keep posting.
California really is a different country from much of the rest of the US. That's the sense I strongly got when I first visited the state.
I moved from Kansas to Seattle. The first 2 weeks were the hardest. I remember pulling over and crying after being fed up with people honking, yelling, and flipping the bird at me. Eventually it got better. But what a weird blessing it is to have the opportunity to leave the familiar and discover that there really is no place like home. I will always be up for adventure, but my roots are in Kansas.
I moved from NYC to Seattle over 20 years ago and ended up staying 10 years, and I was really homesick the first few weeks, even for things I didn't particularly care for when I lived in NYC. It wasn't just that everything and everyone was different and that I knew almost no one. It was that it wasn't home and I lacked any meaningful connection to it.
But I eventually got over it and decided to stay, and now that I'm back in NYC I still miss it, and have never truly felt quite at home here the way I did the first time around. I wonder what it would feel like to move back to Seattle. I bet it too wouldn't feel the same. It's like that saying about how no one steps in the same river twice.
My daughter and I travelled half way round Australia in a Station wagon and two popular tents = 2 months 16,000 kms. Really enjoy yr posts. Thanks.
I was born and raised in CA. It’s a beautiful state, but… it’s over crowded, expensive, people can be rude and the drivers 🙈 oh my Lord!! Moved to TN and have been so happy here! However, I do miss the ocean. That is it though. 😂
Angie, thank you so much for uploading this video! You have described in under 10 minutes what I have been feeling for the past 11 years. Throughout all this time in California, I feel like a visitor but despite how long I've been here, the state doesn't feel like home.
I am from California and your video made me fall in love with my state all over again. I am heading to Lassen Volcanic National Park in a few days and had NO IDEA there would be snow! Now I will be prepared. Thank you!
I’ve been lucky to have traveled every state in America and I’ve found beautiful places and people in all states but home is always home for me in California. Safe travels 😎
The Pacific ocean DOES smell different, or the Atlantic does smell different, depending on your point of view. I lived in Connecticut until I was 8, then moved to Southern California. The Atlantic does smell different, and is evocative for me of other times. But the Pacific is my ocean now, and was pretty quickly, after spending enough time lying on the beach as a teen.
This is one of the things that I love about your channel, we never know what we're going to get but it's always heart-felt and fascinating.
I keep thinking of the Neil Diamond song I am as I watch this.
My grandparents used to watch CBS Sunday Morning, and my favorite part (ok, the only part I paid attention to) was the travelogue series at the end. I forget who did them, but he was descriptive, whimsical, introspective, and full of references so dated that even my grandparents didn't get them. Your videos are all of that except the old people stuff, and I love them.
Also, hi, former Californian here. San Diego is one of the most amazing places I've ever lived. The diverse culture, natural wonders (and manmade ones), the history, the hidden gems out in the desert, and the ability to wake up in suburban neighborhood, go to the beach in the morning, grab lunch in a small desert town with amazing tacos, be in an alpine mountain town for dinner (and pie!), then get back home by 8. It was incredible, I miss it all the time, and leaving San Diego was one of the happiest days of my life. You are not alone in being stricken by the California effect.
I think what you're describing are the ebbs and flows of solo travel. ❤ You're doing great just take it at your own pace. Many people yearn to do what you're doing everyday.
I can't personally relate to your feelings of disliking California or having a complex relationship with it, but I understand your perspective as a California native. I've spent most of my life here, except for a 10-year stint on the East Coast. To be honest, the East Coast was the most challenging experience I've ever had, and the longer I've been back in California, the more I've come to appreciate my state and the freedom it offers to be myself. I've found a sense of authenticity here that I never felt on the East Coast, where everything felt heavier, from the people to the atmosphere, and even the food. I empathize with your situation, and I hope that as you continue to explore California, your experience improves. If not, it's okay; not every place is for everyone. I value your honesty in sharing your perspective on California.
I really enjoyed Cali when I was stationed there. But I was glad when I left. I get what you're saying.
Creating this video made you homesick, while watching it made me feel the same way. I was born in LA and lived there for 56 years before moving to Richmond, Va. The first few months I was so depressed and couldn't figure out why. Until I took a trip back home, was on the elevated freeway in dead stop traffic (no, I don't miss that), and had nothing to do but look at the horizon and realize that Richmond is flat and has too many trees. I felt claustrophobic, and being home gave me a sense of freedom that I hadn't realized I'd lost. I know someone moving from Richmond to almost anywhere in California might feel exposed, on display, and vulnerable. We love what we're used to. This is not my beach. There are no mountains within sight. And mostly - no mountains, sea, and valleys in practically the same view, certainly within the same 15 minute drive. California is spectacular. So is Virginia - but in another way that I still haven't learned to love after 11 years. But it is green in a way nothing but Forest Lawn could ever be in Southern California. I love the northern coast. Thanks for the views.
Virtual hugs 🤗 Love your videos! Enjoy life and your opportunities.
As a CA native, this was very interesting to watch. You expressed yourself well, and made me think about times and place that have made me feel emotionally off balance.
I moved to Southern California from the northeast a few years ago and have a complicated relationship with it as well. I feel very small here, and for the first year or so I felt that I was super far away from where I was supposed to be, like I was in exile. And the driving out here! I had literal panic attacks. I do love California but not sure if it will ever really feel like home.
That’s so interesting. I feel the same here on the east coast, alone. I long for CA.
Greetings from San Diego ☀ I have the same off-balance feeling when I leave my home state of California. I do love to travel around, but I am always happy and relieved to come home. I just found your channel today and I've been binge-watching your content because it makes me feel calm and happy. Thank you for sharing and I just subscribed 💛
Umm, for me personally, this was your best/most touching video yet. Safe travels.
Thank you for opening up another aspect of your travels Angie. ❤ Sometimes you just get a feeling about a place and your senses become heightened. ❤ Take care ❤
Angie this was an insightful presentation - on beauty, search and longing. As we all travel in life - the satisfaction of exploration of novelty vs. the comfort from being with the familiar and touching our roots. The power and loneliness of self reflection. Of longing and connection. Thank you
There's no place like home Dorothy 😚
Angie, you may also be experiencing travel fatigue, and it just happened to hit when you got to California, which is so large, complex and overwhelming that it can bring this about all by itself. I experienced this when I drove cross country for over two months. I tried to cover too much territory and see too many sights without resting and basically doing nothing now and then, and it eventually got to me. You've been doing this for a lot longer so it's probably that much worse. Put California aside for now and stick a pin in it. You'll be back someday to do it justice. I'm sure of it.
@@CarportCarl The temptation when you travel to new places is to see as much as you can, which is understandable but there's only so much you can take in before mental, emotional and physical fatigue sets in.
An example that most people are familiar with is museum fatigue. After a couple of hours you start to lose the ability and desire to enjoy seeing things. Pacing yourself is very important when traveling or sightseeing.
That said, I'm glad that I pushed myself to see so much. I just should have rested a bit more and not tried to drive someplace new nearly every day.
My thoughts exactly…California is a beautiful state and there’s so much to see and do. After so much travel once you get there, it can be overwhelming and it hits you differently. I’m still learning to do a little at a time and ignore California drivers lol
@@michelelove At a certain point when undertaking a major endeavor that you've never tried before, a sense of its overwhelming reality and enormity eventually hits you like a ton of bricks, as it suddenly becomes clear that what was once a nice plan that looked great on paper is actually real and that you're in the thick of it with no easy way out.
It could be a major move, training for and taking part in a major sporting activity like a marathon, starting a new business, or a huge home or car renovation project. Or, as in this case, quitting your job, selling nearly everything you own, moving out of your home and into your car, and setting off on a long cross-country adventure.
At a certain point it just hits you, "OMG, I'm actually doing this and it's so much harder and more demanding than I expected!", and you go into a temporary state of semi-shock, and wonder if it's really such a good idea or if you can or want to go through with it, and the temptation to just quit and go back to what you were doing is huge.
Eventually, nearly always, this feeling fades, and you realize that you can and want to go through with it, and do. It's just your emotional brain catching up with your rational brain, and there's a sort of shock when this happens. I don't know if this is what Angie experienced in California, but I've undertaken such endeavors and there was always a moment when this happened, but I always eventually got over it.
This happened to me when I left home for college, when I started training for a marathon for the first time, when I undertook a massive car restoration project (which I'm still working on and hope to complete later this year), and when I set out on a shorter version of what Angie's doing many years ago. It's a very human experience, and each time I got over it eventually and was glad that I undertook it.
A life without major undertakings, challenges, adventures and projects is a wasted life in my opinion. We only have one go at it and it would be a shame to not push oneself now and then and really experience life and the world. That's what Angie's been doing and good for her for it. She'll look back at it fondly and draw upon it for the rest of her life. It'll end eventually, but in the natural course of things. She'll know when.
But not before doing California justice. There's just SO much there, like Alaska or Texas but in a different way. Everything is larger than life there, from the trees to the beaches to the mountains to the people, politics and culture. I mean, it's got Hollywood!
@@kovie9162 I agree with you on every point 👍🏽
I really appreciate the honesty in this "odd video" lol! I also appreciate the sentiment about living in "the moment". That is precisely the reason why anyone should do what you're doing. Keep up the great work Angie!
Thats a similar experience I got when I went out west myself, nothing wrong with listening to your gut instincts.
Great video. It wasn't odd. Appreciate the transparency and honesty.
As a New Englander, you put my west coast experience into words, this was beautiful and bittersweet ❤
Great video. I feel like I could sit and chat with you for hours. I love your honesty and openness.
Though I have lived outside my beloved state for well over 35 years, I think some of the same things…the Atlantic is not my Ocean…the sun sets on the wrong side….there is no coastal beauty like the west coast’s….yet God has made me into such an adaptable person, I have learned real contentment wherever I am.
California is home to me. When I went to the east coast, it felt so weird. So far away. But I saw incredible sights. I like being alone but sometimes it’s more fun being able to share experiences with another person.
So many times in my travels I wished I would have gone here or there, seen this or that. Stayed just a little longer but didn't.. I always wished I would have explored more often. So much I have missed.. U are taking me (us) to those places. Thanks Angie..
Thank you for sharing your time in California and now it's time to spend some time in some other non-visited place... where that may be, who knows. I like your poetry very much and it's much like path to something special somewhere else.
I'm 180 deg from you. It's easy to west and difficult to go east. Your homesick girl. Safe travels buddy!
Nice video Angie! Thanks for always sharing with us!💖👍😎JP
Solo travel van seem.lonely, missing ppl.sights, smells....and when yhe sun sets homesick can set in and what we ignore is that our journey alone brings out our inner strengths, resistance and we van rest asure jome is mot hoing anywhere and home may ne in a tin can with wheels...ty bery much i admire your insightful thoughts put into words..no many of us van do that..that is a gift of emotional of emotional entelligence and empathy..🌼
I'm so sorry you feel this way in California. It's my home state and I love it so much.
I was born in the northeast and lived there until I was in high school. My parents wanted to escape the brutal winters. Many friends and family members chose Florida. We knew Florida very well from the many times we visited. But once my parents experienced California during a summer vacation, that was where they wanted to live. They took a big chance moving the family so far from our birthplace. We had no family west of Chicago. And my dad, who did not have a college education, quit his longtime job and my mother was not working in those days. My first few years here in California felt strange at times. I missed my friends and everything that was familiar. Now 57 years later, I can't imagine living any place else. I'm retired and can live anywhere I want. I have visited all 50 states. I'm an outdoor person and California has everything I enjoy, from beautiful beaches, to majestic mountains and vast deserts. I've explored it all and will continue to do so as long as my health holds out. Looking back, my parents made the right decision to move to California as risky as it might have seemed at the time. I plan on going back east to my former homeland later this year. It's been a long time since I've been there. I wonder how I'll feel?
I know you wrote this for you, but thanks for sharing. I left home in 08, all that time out west hasn't really made me homesick except- well, occasionally I just want to be near my family. Nothing's gone to plan, still got no wife, home, or life track, but seeing family still feels good. Nice to know it's common. "The House That Built Me" is playing in my head now, think I'll call my folks when the sun comes up...
Praying for you and hoping you find happiness 🩷
I have been in California my entire life. I live in Humboldt County for the last 29 yrs -I feel dread here too! But its home- earthquakes n all
Thank you for this video it was beautiful- and for sharing your feelings - also beautiful.
Angie! When you visting Pennsylvania!? Yeah buddy!
Awesome video!! Well done!!
As a native Californian, I can relate to having a strange relationship with the state. Even now, almost 20 years since I left, it really has an effect on me on many levels.
Hi - Do you ever visit the different churches around the country? I would love to travel and check out churches ... Just me.
I 100% agree with this. Fun Show. :)
when i travel i love it and also find it fatiguing and homesick. it happens to me
no matter how beautiful the place is. i was just in japan. add language challenges. forgetfulness to say more than the same few phrases. its a privilege to travel. but everyone exhausts at a certain point. i start missing our weather and our food. however. japan felt safer and easier to drive than the US. their public transit is also organized. i admire their organized orderly clean peaceful society. while in the US people are entitled and angry and hostile. why in japan can
i feel safe to explore. i do not feel safe anywhere in the US
Angie, it seems like you've been on the road a while and feel home sick, Cali is just the place where those feelings are the strongest. Im glad you shared this as I'm planning to hit the road next year and will be ever vigilant of the feelings that want to pull me in a particular direction. Be steadfast, and your path will be true.
I don’t normally like to comment as I have a hard time conveying what it is I’m trying to say without writing a novel. I was surprised at this video as I have been having the exact same feelings traveling far away from home. I love all your videos and appreciate all you share so honestly. It’s nice to be able to relate to the same emotions. 🙏
i think you’re homesick
Where is the best climate to live in a car and not get too hot or too cold? I hate hot. I can deal with a cool ( but not too cold) climate. Looking for an ideal place! 😀
Having moved from California to living near the Atlantic. I’m definitely homesick to California and the east coast still feels strange to me. The climate is different for sure. And most of my friends are still in California.
My family has been in Calif since 1907. Sank roots and never left.
I am From DC and MD. 14 years ago I moved to AZ and I have driven to Connecticut and back and visited a lot of the places you have have been. If you are living out of your car the Pacific is your ocean for right then. Those are your Mountains too until you decide to leave.
You need a cane girl, or a long stick walking through those creeks. Lol. Safe travels!
All I have to say is, “Sweet Home ALABAMA! Where skies are so blue!” You know the rest 😊 I enjoyed the video. Thanks for sharing 😊
Be sure to see Bishop CA
Why don’t you fly home and spend a few days with your family? It will be a nice break and you will feel refreshed. You can leave your car at the airport and once you get back you can resume your travels.
Great monolog!
Is there a page or video that speaks about your setup? What cameras do you use? What editing software, how you learned to do this? Was it a skill learned or are you just a great story teller? Also without getting too personal who you are, your background, your finances, etc?
Since the last video i have the feeling that you (or... destiny?) are preparing us (the viewers) that relatively soon you will introduce a travel partner to us. Did you feel it too? Did you already meet the person or is still in the future? Love is great 😊👍 PS: The questions were rhetoric. I'm not invading your privacy or demanding you to answer 😅
So just adking have you thought of buying a regular van, you know the one your parents owned ? It would give you a little more space
Hi, just discovered yr channel. Wondering how many miles/kms you've travelled so far ...and..do you ever feel unsafe. Do you park up near other people. Thanks
My father served in the navy fleets of both coasts and the tales told of the worst and best of both coasts and oceans always enthralled me. And growing up in another country on the other side of the planet I could only really imagine what it would be like to see those places. As an adult I moved back to the states and lived on that same east coast with tales of wild weather and beyond stormy seas. Anyone who has lived in the South East will tell you it's not the same along that coast. Standing on the pier at Tybee beach in Georgia and seeing an almost flat ocean with little or no swell was a big disappointment.
More people are moving out of CA than moving in, for the first time in its history. Over population, parking lot freeways, high taxes, high prices, increase in crime, homelessness have all ruined this state. But most of us stay for the weather, the places you mentioned and the hope that California will stop its downward spiral into a 3rd world state
I moved to California (SF Bay Area) in 2019. I've moved a lot in my life but mostly always on the East Coast. I absolutely loved it for the first 2-3 months, but things got old real quick out there. There are certainly many gripes I have with the states politics which ruined it IMO, but in retrospect it was being so far from family for so long that was the worst
yea i went to the west for a month . it felt really weird. too dry, weird smells, empty.
I have no planof going to Cali once I get on the road, I live near the ocean but that is noting like the beaches of Fla. I went to LA once as a teenager... vowed I would never go back. Besides the water feels like a glass of ice water.
I know the feeling
Pretty sure you’re just feeling the ambient evil and soul eating that the place is build on and around.
Side note, music suggestion.
Hugo Kant - Out of Time
Did you drive Donner Pass ?
I think what you’re feeling is the same as me in a rv van staying in the city about 10 yr. The city has change it rush rush they want you out of the parking lot after a hour that too long at the mall too. And it’s the sane as on the road people are working 2-3 part times jobs and in a constant rush, you can feel the pressure in lines everybody wishing the line moving faster look at their watch. On the road now watchout you first in line look behind before you take a lane as somE will try to gas it around you to beat the light way ahead they live in the area had it their cheat. So I stay mostly 3 week out west that still bu but town is crazy traffic and busy everywhere. It’s nuts full of robberies too
Yeah our drivers suck, they really really suck. Ive been rear ended at red lights 4 times. Ive t boned someone, u turning in front of me, from a parked position. Its a shit show. The feeling of melancholy is real and ive felt it all my 37 years. Having someone with you can sooth it or cause more dread. It has never gone away for me and this is my home. Even with someone you love. Its hard to be at peace with yourself, alone. Especially if you still have that get up and go, hustle or die feeling society drills in us. Take a step back and remember home is gonna be there. Your chances of being in a place could be once. Who knows if you can get a chance to hang in the same spot again. Even so, I know that shoreline feeling it is hard to shake. At the end of the day there is only I and I out here. Look for hot springs. Finding and using them can be really refreshing. Last weekend i drove up blue ridge road in wrightwood. I had anxiety that my car couldn't make it up a dirt road that cars my size were going up. I opted to park on a clearing in the dirt road and sleep in my prius. Still had a beautiful view of the stars and valleys below. Look if you can afford this lifestyle for the foreseeable future do it for as long as possible. The grind and home is always gonna be there. Again sorry about our shitty drivers.
California is probably the most diverse state in terms of climate, nationalities, ethnicities, cultures, natural features and sights, and lifestyles. It's got everything every other state has, and then some. It also feels more artificial and transient than other states, like it's trying too hard to be this or do that, and so many of its residents are from elsewhere. Plus there's that whole northern vs. southern vs. inland California divide. It's only one state in a legal and political sense, but otherwise it's really two or three states in one, kind of like the divide between NYC and the rest of NY state. Two very different worlds. I've been to California a bunch of times but never more than a few days at a time, and each time it felt like it wasn't like the rest of the country. I like the state, but something about it is unique. It doesn't bother me the way it seems to bother you, but it's definitely in its own league.
Snowball fight!!! )))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) o Sorry, Angie, can't help it.
I just discovered your channel and been enjoying your videos! Perhaps you might consider adding "Living in My Car" or "Car Life" in your titles. That may help people like me to find your channel. ❤
If I ever get disability and start Van Life I don't think I'll ever be going to California. I've been their 17 times driving a semi each time as I leave I can't ever see what I left behind😂. If I had a partner it might be a different story maybe not. Getting a partner from NC to California won't be easy.
How long can a vacation last before the emptiness of pleasing oneself from dawn till dusk and, basically, doing nothing except being utterly self-absorbed invites depression and melancholy? Ten days is about my limit, before I yearn to get back to tedious familiarity. I know this from being, frankly, the most introverted and lazy person on God's earth lol.
Some Texas drivers are horrible too! This is coming from someone who's gone all the way across the state multiple times south to north and north to south. I always want to fly but I like looking at landscapes and flights are pricey to me so I get what i get lol
As a truck driver, I know exactly what you're talking about with the Cali drivers. They're a special kinda crazy. I get in and out of the state as quickly as possible. I even cringe when I see California plates in other states. Because I know they are going to tail gate, pass on a double yellow, cut right in front of me or all of the above.
I also believe there is a shortage of "blinker fluid" in the state and they are blind to any blinking lights and what they might indicate.😅
You’re just feeling homesick kid, that’s all it is about it will pass if you don’t let it bother you
Neil Diamond "I Am"...
I think, you would not keep feeling the same way, if you would take a significant trip or two outside the USA. Really get far away and in exotic cultures, then California will become very familar and very close to your family.... relatively speaking. Then you can enjoy the beauty knowing your family is actually very close by....relatively speaking.
I'm surprised you encountered that many aggressive drivers in the mountains. I drive like a grandma in my 4Runner and never have to deal with that. In the flatlands? Yeah, terrible. We have two types of bad drivers. The ones that do what they want because they don't care and the ones that do what they want because they're entitled. You can easily tell which is which.
California appears to be your own personal uncanny valley.
I’m a southern California native and I have no desire to move away from here. But I must admit, all the crazy drivers here suck. 😂
I think we all have Mixed emotions with everything. I'm more extreme with Love/Hate emotions with just about everything 😂
You should have said," Sumps up my time."
You mean you didn't stiop to audition for a role in any of the uncomcoming super hero movies in Hollywood? Remember when you put your hands on your hips? Now, they just have have to give a cape, few lines to memorize, cgi the background and bam, sign the million dollar contract, Angie. Shrug. Spoiler Alert, sign up for the sequeles and ask for way mor money. What? Is that wrong? :No more "dumpster pancakes for Angie, from now on, it's Ihop Pancakes, Ty very much. Teehee. :)
coffee?
Girl, you are not alone. California kinda sucks. That's why a lot of us Californians are moving to Oregon. I left California 5 days before my 40th birthday, after living there my entire life. Now, I've lived in Oregon for 12 years, and I'll never go back to Cali.
Passed life imprint
I’d think I’d get those same feelings in Florida and Texas, but mainly because of all their despotic, authoritarian tendencies.
California reminds you of Tara. But it isn't. (And if you don't what Tara is, see Gone With the Wind).
Maybe it’s the politics
California place great place to visit not live
the fact is its a beautiful territory thats being ruined by its in habitants.
I don't have many good feelings about California whether I am in the country or the cities. The whole State has been ran in to the dirt due to mismanagement.