The sad thing is, Droppo on paper is the best character in terms of arcs. He starts out as a lazy man who skips work. In the course of the film, he finds his calling and ends up with a job he really enjoys, and he got it by motivating himself rather than being forced into it. He also smartens up: he protects Santa by not revealing himself as Droppo when kidnapped (though how those Martians don't see Droppo's obvious antenna is beyond me) and figures out how to get out of the cave he's trapped in (also not sure how the lightbulb trick works, but he frees himself rather than being rescued). I'm not saying the writing's great, because it's not, but the most annoying character actually has the most character development and would have worked better with a difference kind of performance.
Yeah, hearing that just now, I realized, "Wait, that's a threat... so freezing the elves may have killed them." Or if not killed, at least they're not getting out of that by waiting, presumably. Like, is there a way to reverse it? Does this thing have levels of effectiveness to make it temporary vs permanent? A surprisingly interesting weapon.
"No! You can't take him now, it's too near Christmas!" I /adore/ the implication that if three Martians had burst into Santa's workshop at any other time, it wouldn't have been an issue. 🤣
How could you forget one of the movie's most on-the-nose lines? (human children are talking about martians after the UFO has been sighted) Betty: "If I saw a martian, I'd probably scream." *martians show up to kidnap them* *Betty screams*
@@tearsintherain2013 Copywrite lasts 70 years after the author's death under US law. By the time the copyright on Mickey Mouse is set to expire, it'll probably be even longer. I hope I'm wrong though.
@@That_One_Xatu you're definitely wrong! So long as Disney keeps Mickey Mouse as a present icon and character, they will continue to renew the copyright. Until every legal party completely gives up, he will never leave the private domain.
I actually got this movie in a white elephant gift exchange a couple decades ago and I've had a tradition of insisting on watching it, having my family all complain and say "not again!" Then one day I just turn it on to tease everyone, and after everybody complains they all eventually trickle into the room and watch it with me! XD This movie is so campy it goes into the zone of "so bad it's good" for me!
My first encounter with this gem of a movie was in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. (For those of you who aren’t aware of this show, it’s basically about one dude and two robots who are forced to watch bad movies and give off hilarious commentary as each movie progresses.)
Thank you; it was driving me crazy that MST3K wasn't even mentioned. Also no mention of Pia Zadora who went on to some degree of cinema fame as an adult, though the name wouldn't mean anything to most people when the MST3K episode came out. MST3K did another Christmas movie, the 1959 Mexican movie "Santa Claus" and I'm pretty sure that one was worse. Imagine a Santa movie at least as bad as SCvtM, but also with bad dubbing. So "worst Christmas Movie"? I have a feeling this one isn't even in the worst five.
Yes! He's watching it wrong. Alone, no ok ne funny next to you, the actual movie itself... The only way to watch it is to watch the MST3000 version, especially with friends.
I’m 71. I saw this movie in its first release at my neighborhood movie theater. One interesting thing is that the weapons the Martians use were literal toys made by the Wham-O company. The small handheld black one was the Air Blaster. The longer one that looked similar to a bazooka was called the Sonic Blaster. They were really popular toys during that Christmas season, even before the movie. I had them both!
This is the first time I've heard a character say "you're going to relax... permanently!" outside of parody. Which is ironic since evidently the Santa already is permanently relaxed!
My dad watched this in the theater when he was a kid, and so it has always been a holiday tradition in our house. Watched it completely earnestly for every Christmas I can remember. And now every adult sibling has a copy of it in their house. So I’m totally blinded by nostalgia, but for every critique in the video my brain went “yeah, I know, it’s awesome!”
I feel compelled to mention _Christmas on Mars,_ a film created by Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips based on his mother's recollection of several different movies she saw while falling in and out of sleep in front of the TV. Ironically, my own mother then saw _Christmas on Mars_ while half-asleep and thought she dreamed it.
Came here 4 weeks late to say exactly this*. I thought about Christmas on Mars for most of the video; when Austin said "shoot it like a David Lynch-style indie film" in reference to a potential remake of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I almost screamed at the screen. *minus the personal anecdote, of course - my mother never watched Christmas on Mars and in fact I seem to recall once actively dissuading her from doing so.
Sad thing is, this isn't the worst Christmas movie, by far! I actually had so much fun watching this with friends last year, something which can not be said about the billion horrible romcom Christmas movies that exist.
I actually really want to see this remade as a self-aware comedy scifi film. Think it could be hilarious. And Santa has to turn out to originally be from Mars as some warring faction that lost to the current Martians, explaining his magic and his little helpers…
No way. A self aware, bad movie never works. The best bad movies are the ones that are really trying to be the best, and fall flat on it's face and still can't see it.
Seeing as I was thoroughly entertained by the concept of Santa murdering people in “Violent Night,” I’d say the Christmas Industry just needs more of those sweet Action Christmas Movies.
Holy crap, this video was quite a bizarre glitch in the matrix moment for me. Literally two days ago I released a video about why some movies become holiday classics, and in it, I have a quick flash of dozens of obscure Christmas movies. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is on screen for ONE SINGLE FRAME, and as a little easter egg - it is the only one for which I actually left a little note saying that it sounds oddly interesting. On top of that there is also a shot of me watching Christmas movies in my blue pyjamas. Great minds think alike, eh? We should be friends.
In a way, this film DID get a remake: the plot seems to foreshadow "The Nightmare before Christmas" quite a bit, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing Tim Burton would steal from. Also, here's a piece of trivia: the little girl martian is actually Pia Zadora, in her showbiz debut!
I laughed out loud at the names of the Mars kids. But that part about them being concerned for their kids over the same stuff we should be concerned for our kids today was pretty on point! Not sure the solution is Santa, but at least it was an idea worth exploring.
I got this movie on DVD at a White Elephant party. When I showed off what I got, someone pointed out that the movie stars Pia Zadora. I was unaware of who that was
@@austinmcconnell Pia Zadora managed to be in not one, but two of the worst movies ever made. The other one is a musical film called Voyage of the Rock Aliens from 1984, which' visual effects are probably about equally bad to this Martians film. It did leave us with one song that's still popular today though, Pia Zadora sings it, together with Jermaine Jackson (Michael Jackson's brother; not the dude in this clip in the film): ua-cam.com/video/sJZC54x1SVY/v-deo.html
I’m so glad you decided to cover this movie! My grandma gave this movie to me when I was 14, and my cousins and I treat it like a holiday tradition to watch it. The movie sucks, but it always reminds me of grandma, so it makes the movie bearable. Plus it’s a good movie to drink and have a few laughs!
Ah, I see you’ve discovered “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” featuring Pia Zadora. I’d still sooner watch this schlock than any Hallmark Christmas movie. Hooray for Santy Claus!
I first learned about this movie when I was in chemistry class. The teacher printed out a list of christmas movies, and this one was one of them. I believe i laughed very hard by reading the name. I can't remember, but I think we might've actually watched the movie as well in class afterwards because we all were clueless what it was
14:36 That colorful thing on the wall that rocks up and down totally looks like a musical instrument. It's like a section of a giant obo or something. Where the heck would they get a giant colorful obo? Edit: I looked it up. It's _definitely_ the middle of a big clarinet. Where did they get a huge color clarinet from? Why would someone make that thing? What purpose did it serve before this low budget movie borrowed it and tried to pass it off as a martian machine?
needs to be remade as a real time strategy game with over the top hammy acting. martians are the military race with high powered guns and lasers (Protoss). Santa using elves and toys to generate large numbers of cheap units (Zerg). Space force is the humans (Terran). Plot twist, Santa is an Eldritch horror that is actually going to conquer Mars and Earth for real so that he can get access to the portals in Doom. Earth and Mars have to team up together to stop him.
My family has a DVD of this that I found this year and we laughed about it a bit and planned to watch it, but now we can't find it. I also want to mention that Clause was spelled two different ways on the cover between the front and the spine Edit: We found the DVD
a good review of a well known classic of cheesy movies. i do raise my eyebrow at the "I did it. i found the worst Christmas movie." because 1) this movie is pretty well known in weird, cheesy b-movie fan circles, having been riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and re-riffed in multiple spin offs. it was also the namesake for the techno band "The Laziest Men on Mars" from the early 2000s, and their song "Nothing Can Stop Torg!" (it's Torg, not Tork/Torque)and 2) this is no where near the worst Christmas movie. weirdest, most baffling, but i'll take this lunacy over generic Hallmark Christmas movie #347 any day.
at 9:25 an Italian newspaper appears and it's talking about Segni's health problem. Segni was the President of the Italian Republic during these days. I don't know what that has to do with the movie lmao
From what I understand, the foreign newspapers are just regular newspapers, and they thought the audience would just assume they were talking about Santa, too.
I had to watch this movie in 4th grade. It was my Teachers' favorite Christmas movie, then write a report on the movie which was due after the break. My brothers always told me the movie did not exist. I have now forced as many people as possible to watch this movie as I could as it is comical at how bad it actually is.
I think this really puts films like Star Wars in perspective. This is probably the most stereotypical bit of 50s to 70s Sifi media you could ever get... I love it, but I also get why it disinterested audiences and made Sifi a very hit or miss genera to work in until Lucas had some fresh world-building ideas that wasn’t green men with ray blasters! (Also this was filmed before the moon landings, they were very optimistic if they thought the US could reach Mars in the mid 60s)
You know who I'd nominate for a remake of this? Tim Burton. Hear me out -- it's a creepy tale about childlike whimsy being attacked head-on by a creepy, militant faction that threatens to destroy that which is good and wholesome. This is right there with Alice in Wonderland or Nightmare Before Christmas in terms of vibes, and he'd be perfect for it. And make Johnny Depp Volmar. He's got to be someone in this (thanks, Mr. Burton), and either Volmar or the news anchor would be the only options.
When I was but a wee child, like 1973-75-ish or thereabouts, in grade school, on the last day before Christmas break, they'd shuffle all us kids into the cafeteria/auditorium and have us watch this movie and "Melody time." It was a half-day, we weren't gonna pay attention in class anyway, and this was a convenient and copyright-free way of keeping all us seven year olds seated and staring in the same direction. I weirdly love this movie.
I love this movie! Plus, I found out that my friend is the son of the director. ‘Kidsploitation’ films like this were apparently popular. He directed it because his daughter wanted him to do it. My friend says that reviews at the time called it a kid’s movie that parents didn’t hate sitting through. I saw it in 2005. It was one of the first movies that I could stream (in parts) online!
I always heard it "Torg". "Torque" makes more sense, I guess, for this movie. The best way to watch this film is the Mystery Science Theater 3000, Rifftrax, or Cinematic Titanic versions. The MST3K version is recommended, mainly for the holiday standard "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" is featured during a host segment, and it's not Christmas without a good action sequence, imho. I kinda love this movie, btw. Santa was kidnapped but still willing to help those in need. There's a deeper Cold War allegory buried in there but I don't like to dig that far lest the guy in the polar bear suit might swipe angrily at me. The remake was planned, with Jim Carrey attached as Droppo, but fell into development hell. Probably for the best? "Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny" is a lot worse 'film' and not well known.
Every time the kids and Santa laughed it sounded like a villain in a stereotypical superhero movie. 11:18 if there were a light source under his face it would be the perfect setting for the villain 😂
I saw this in my recommended and it made me laugh because it's such a Austin McConnell like video to make. I love these videos, the funny and the serious ones so thank you, you're awesome!
My theory is that Santa is on hella shrooms the entire time, which is why he just goes around giggling at shit and doesn't seem remotely phased by the fact that he's been abducted by aliens
You should make Santa from Santa Clause Conquers the Martians a character in your cinematic universe. Maybe he never returns from Mars, but with a combination of Martian technology + his magic, he can open inter-dimensional portals to deliver toys back on Earth. And maybe he's a really powerful character that barely ever uses his power, except to give wisdom, like the White Guardian in Dr Who.
I remember the first time I saw this movie. My friend got a box set of low-budget 60's movies, and let me pick which one we watched. I saw the title "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and I knew I had to see that for myself. My favorite part will always be the guy in the polar bear costume.
Seeing those effects shots makes me want to attempt a Star Trek TOS style remaster. As in just editing out the old space shots and replacing them with new CG ones Could even make a shot of the StarShot blowing up to explain why it just disappears lol
18:37 Honestly, I’d be down for a remake that is heavily inspired by the Military industrial complex Santa Clause Operation within Arthur Christmas. The dots align so well with this plot and the technology in Arthur Chirstmas, it’s wild
My favorite part about the movie is that the Martians have a green paint put on their faces, but because it’s so cheap some of the actors’ face makeup has been completely sweated off. The best *best* part however is that most of their faces are still dyed with green
They included a positive portrayal of the military so they could get funding from them. The B story was shoehorned in just for this reason and since they wanted Santa to be the hero they had to drop it as soon and their obligation was fore-filled. 😊 Great video as usual.
The fascinating bit about the newspapers after the 9:23 mark is that all of the non-English ones are real-world newspapers that are about actual global evensts. The Polish one is about the death of the communist Polish President Aleksander Zawadzki. The headline of the Chinese newspaper (which incidentally is actually a Chinese-American paper from Hawaii) predicts an American victory in Vietnam. The two Italian papers are about the health of Italian President Antonio Segni (who died in 1964). The Swedish paper's headline seems to be about the Norwegian defence minister, Gudmund Harlem, threatening to send the police in against marchers. The Danish paper has a lot of different things but again, none about Santa. Le Soir (Belgian) is about uprisings in the Congo and a 'crisis of democracy'. The sequence is bookended by fake English headlines but it says a lot that they didn't even bother changing the ones on the foreign papers.
Just watched your video about the Grace "painting" on Nebula, and since you didn't have it up yet on YT I had to comment here... I've literally, no joke, never seen that painting before your video. Great video! Great image! But, wow, I must have been under an uncultured rock for so long.
Any conversation about this film is incomplete without mentioning that it was also featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, during it's golden 'third season'. (Episode 321 aka s03e21)
9:25 - By the way, the Polish newspaper (the first one dropped on the US newspaper) appears to be an actual paper (Życie Warszawy) from August 1964 mentioning honorary guard in front of Aleksander Zawadzki’s coffin. I’m not sure of exact date but the guy died on 7th so it must have been issue from within a week or so.
I’m with The Green Fox Bandit. I knew about this movie through MST3K. I did not know they used seasoned actors because I was laughing too hard at the jokes from the guy and his two robot friends. Ah, good times. Thanks for the video.
I remember watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Mystery Science Theater 3000 for Christmas Special on Sci-Fi when I was little. Even with the commentary the movie itself was insane anyway.
I actually have a lot of fun memories of this movie. When I was in grade school in the early 1970s they would hurt us all into the cafeteria for the last half day before Christmas break and they would have us watch this movie and Disney’s Melody time back to back. I have absolutely no idea why. I remember being genuinely frightened by the polar bear, and them seeing the lights on the horizon, and thinking it’s Santa‘s workshop, then, realizing they are just the glowing eyes of the robot…. that’s actually a pretty good twist reveal. I’m actually surprised somebody hasn’t ripped that off and used it in a much better film. I love the laughing scenes which just go on forever and seem to exist only to fill dead air. There’s one in here that I think goes on for about two minutes straight. The little human girl is a very young Pia Zadora. I have a baseless hunch that the Starshot mission was supposed to either fight the evil Martian on mars, or simply show up in the end to give Santa a lift back home. Probably the latter, but they just ran out of cash. (Those papier machie caves don’t pay for themselves, you know.) Anyway: I like this movie in a way that can only be described as feeling Sorry for it. This was somebody’s dream and it was all of these peoples one big shot and… This is what we got. It’s endearing in an awful way, kind of like a child at a talent show trying to do a magic trick and blowing it and spilling milk all over the floor and running off screaming (i did that once).
Of course they don’t resolve the B plot. Starshot obviously blew up, which would’ve been a PR nightmare for the space force which was already struggling with its image. The whole thing was swept under the carpet.
@@austinmcconnell You HAVE to make that! Surely it fits in the Bargain Bin Extended Universe somehow. Also, you had me looking into this film and I found out it’s quite the cult classic. There’s stage production, a punk band covered the theme song, and apparently we’re getting a remake next year!
The costume department had to make eight or nine of those helmets. And the props department had to come up with all the toys and weap*ns. With a straight face.
Oh, come now. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians isn't anywhere near the worst Christmas movie of all time. It's weird and goofy enough that it's actually almost perversely entertaining. It's no Die Hard obviously, and its certainly not a film I would willingly watch again without the MST3K or Rifftrax treatment, but I'd still much rather sit through it than any of the trite and soulless drivel that comes off Hallmark's assembly line.
A friend of mine and I do movie reviews and we covered this movie last year. My new GF joined us for the screening and she was dumbfounded at how my friend and I were cracking up so hard she was legitimately worried about us. Point is, I love this movie as the hallmark equivalent to The Room.
Oh my goodness thank you so much! I watched this movie once as a tiny child. I absolutely loved it and would beg my dad to let me watch it again. It was banned from the house lol. As far as the remake was concerned I was thinking that very same thing when you said it was in the public domain. We are totally on the same wavelength there.
I agree. Honestly, the plot is genuinely interesting and novel. I, no joke, would LOVE to see this plot done justice with a remake with a decent budget.
As I've stated many, many times, I do NOT recommend trying to watch this movie unless you've got the MST3K or Rifftrax versions, if you want to keep your sanity intact!!
These always make me wonder how many times you need to watch these movies to discover, form opinions, write a whole script around them etc You gotta have seen this at least 10-ish times in various ways?
Hey Austin, when's a trailer going to release for Atlas? Wondering because since the Kickstarter and the acting thing there's hasn't been much news other than February being part of the release date.
Hey James! Still deep in production. Kickstarter backers at the producer level are getting monthly updates, but I’ll have a big public update on this channel in January if all goes well.
Ah, yes, with the unforgettable quote "No offense, but you are a robot, aren't you?" 😂 Ah, no, it seems I'm confusing it with another one. This is the one with Droppo and Tork, both sampled heavily in the early internet meme songs by The Laziest Men on Mars (also a Droppo reference). If that was before your time, look 'em up, the songs are hilarious!
Knowing how Austin’s channel works, I expect him to own the rights to this movie by the video’s end.
Good news, Rose! We all own the rights.
@@austinmcconnell that *is* good news! A wonderful season to you and yours!!
@@austinmcconnell Please remake this. It's what we all need. Blessed solstice!
@@austinmcconnell
I genuinely don't know if you're joking or not at this point
@@CGCGCG91 It wasn't a joke. The movie is public domain.
The sad thing is, Droppo on paper is the best character in terms of arcs. He starts out as a lazy man who skips work. In the course of the film, he finds his calling and ends up with a job he really enjoys, and he got it by motivating himself rather than being forced into it. He also smartens up: he protects Santa by not revealing himself as Droppo when kidnapped (though how those Martians don't see Droppo's obvious antenna is beyond me) and figures out how to get out of the cave he's trapped in (also not sure how the lightbulb trick works, but he frees himself rather than being rescued). I'm not saying the writing's great, because it's not, but the most annoying character actually has the most character development and would have worked better with a difference kind of performance.
We need more Droppo lore.
@@austinmcconnell where can you find this movie
It's on UA-cam. @@griffinshorts785
@@austinmcconnell put droppo into your universe
"You are going to relax...permanently" has to be one of the greatest lines ever put into a movie.
Yeah, hearing that just now, I realized, "Wait, that's a threat... so freezing the elves may have killed them." Or if not killed, at least they're not getting out of that by waiting, presumably. Like, is there a way to reverse it? Does this thing have levels of effectiveness to make it temporary vs permanent?
A surprisingly interesting weapon.
"Who's in the airlock?" "No one, NOW!" Voldar has great villain lines.
"No! You can't take him now, it's too near Christmas!"
I /adore/ the implication that if three Martians had burst into Santa's workshop at any other time, it wouldn't have been an issue. 🤣
Or that the elves don't actually care about Santa, just that they want to get the holidays over with and it'll be that much harder without Santa. :)
Ja!!! (Lol)
Or that they need Santa to fly the sled and when he wouldn’t then they can take him (nicely of course)
“Don’t be afraid.” They say behind big guns in the faces of children
How could you forget one of the movie's most on-the-nose lines?
(human children are talking about martians after the UFO has been sighted)
Betty: "If I saw a martian, I'd probably scream."
*martians show up to kidnap them*
*Betty screams*
Austin with mustache looks kinda like Lorax
Life goals
ok yes i can see this.
how to unsee?
@@lastnamefirstname8655 just. don't.
He speaks for the trees and for some fricking reason there speakimg vietnamise
Can’t unsee
Hiring Broadway actors instead of Hollywood veterans is always the next best thing,as cheesy as this movie is,they gave their all (for the most part)
The actor playing Santa is pretty good.
Facts: YTP edits could be done easily because this masterpiece is completely public domain.
Lol he should add it to his cinematic universe
That’s a single fact.
@@tearsintherain2013 Copywrite lasts 70 years after the author's death under US law. By the time the copyright on Mickey Mouse is set to expire, it'll probably be even longer. I hope I'm wrong though.
@@That_One_Xatu you're definitely wrong! So long as Disney keeps Mickey Mouse as a present icon and character, they will continue to renew the copyright. Until every legal party completely gives up, he will never leave the private domain.
@@madmanmortonyt4890 You sure about that?
“If you have a bad movie you can’t sell just turn it into a Christmas movie.”
Everything makes sense now hahahaha
I actually got this movie in a white elephant gift exchange a couple decades ago and I've had a tradition of insisting on watching it, having my family all complain and say "not again!" Then one day I just turn it on to tease everyone, and after everybody complains they all eventually trickle into the room and watch it with me! XD This movie is so campy it goes into the zone of "so bad it's good" for me!
Somebody else on comments mentioned they GAVE it as a white elephant gift. 😂
I love how Santa has more screentime of laughing than actual dialogue.
And its not even a good Santa laugh. Just a weird deep cackle.
@@AlexanderNash sounds like a EH EH EH than a HO HO HO
@@AlexanderNash Exactly. He has the most famous laugh of all time and they went with a villain laugh.
That's because Santa only speaks in laughter. Didn't you know?
"Can you believe this kid he just gives santa like it's nothing. What a punk."
I don't know why but that is the funniest line to me.
My first encounter with this gem of a movie was in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. (For those of you who aren’t aware of this show, it’s basically about one dude and two robots who are forced to watch bad movies and give off hilarious commentary as each movie progresses.)
Last week my parents, brother, and I rewatched this. Such an incredible show.
Thank you; it was driving me crazy that MST3K wasn't even mentioned. Also no mention of Pia Zadora who went on to some degree of cinema fame as an adult, though the name wouldn't mean anything to most people when the MST3K episode came out. MST3K did another Christmas movie, the 1959 Mexican movie "Santa Claus" and I'm pretty sure that one was worse. Imagine a Santa movie at least as bad as SCvtM, but also with bad dubbing. So "worst Christmas Movie"? I have a feeling this one isn't even in the worst five.
Yes! He's watching it wrong. Alone, no ok ne funny next to you, the actual movie itself...
The only way to watch it is to watch the MST3000 version, especially with friends.
This and Mexican Santa Claus are MST3k Christmas viewing every year ❤
Same
I’m 71. I saw this movie in its first release at my neighborhood movie theater. One interesting thing is that the weapons the Martians use were literal toys made by the Wham-O company. The small handheld black one was the Air Blaster. The longer one that looked similar to a bazooka was called the
Sonic Blaster. They were really popular toys during that Christmas season, even before the movie. I had them both!
This is the first time I've heard a character say "you're going to relax... permanently!" outside of parody. Which is ironic since evidently the Santa already is permanently relaxed!
Gonna start using it, myself!
@@austinmcconnell if this doesnt find its way into the bbcu i dont know what we're doing here
Kinda makes me wonder if Santa is actually high all the time, given how relaxed he is, and how much he laughs.
Kudos to the actor who plays Santa, he actually embodies all of the charm of Old Saint Nick. "Because I'm Santa Claus, son."
He’s pretty much the heartfelt performance of the film.
his laugh is… off to me. Like it’s more of a cackle.
My dad watched this in the theater when he was a kid, and so it has always been a holiday tradition in our house. Watched it completely earnestly for every Christmas I can remember. And now every adult sibling has a copy of it in their house.
So I’m totally blinded by nostalgia, but for every critique in the video my brain went “yeah, I know, it’s awesome!”
I feel compelled to mention _Christmas on Mars,_ a film created by Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips based on his mother's recollection of several different movies she saw while falling in and out of sleep in front of the TV.
Ironically, my own mother then saw _Christmas on Mars_ while half-asleep and thought she dreamed it.
Came here 4 weeks late to say exactly this*. I thought about Christmas on Mars for most of the video; when Austin said "shoot it like a David Lynch-style indie film" in reference to a potential remake of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I almost screamed at the screen.
*minus the personal anecdote, of course - my mother never watched Christmas on Mars and in fact I seem to recall once actively dissuading her from doing so.
Sad thing is, this isn't the worst Christmas movie, by far! I actually had so much fun watching this with friends last year, something which can not be said about the billion horrible romcom Christmas movies that exist.
Ha ha! I would totally watch this over any Hallmark-type stuff!
I'd watch it again before that creepy Christmas train movie. Mercifully, I can't remember the title right now.
@@captcrouton The Polar Express?
@@alexlopezvieira7697 Yes, the train through uncanny valley and those dead eyes. The bum on top of the train. Creepiest Christmas movie in existence.
I actually really want to see this remade as a self-aware comedy scifi film. Think it could be hilarious. And Santa has to turn out to originally be from Mars as some warring faction that lost to the current Martians, explaining his magic and his little helpers…
The 10th Film By Quentin Tarantino
No way. A self aware, bad movie never works. The best bad movies are the ones that are really trying to be the best, and fall flat on it's face and still can't see it.
We used to run this on our Cable Access channel each year at Christmas. Kiddies seemed to like it, ah the memories :)
It used to be a tradition on KTLA-TV (Los Angeles Channel 5) to air this movie during the Christmas season.
This is one of three movies where a green guy tries to stop Christmas from happening.
If this gets a remake they could tie to the Mars Needs Moms universe
Elaborate.
Don’t
Mars Needs Santa
SANTA CONQUERS THE MARTIANS... AGAIN!!!
Without the horrible special effects?
My Dad is 65, and he warned me about this movie. I was hoping he was wrong.
Seeing as I was thoroughly entertained by the concept of Santa murdering people in “Violent Night,” I’d say the Christmas Industry just needs more of those sweet Action Christmas Movies.
Holy crap, this video was quite a bizarre glitch in the matrix moment for me. Literally two days ago I released a video about why some movies become holiday classics, and in it, I have a quick flash of dozens of obscure Christmas movies.
"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is on screen for ONE SINGLE FRAME, and as a little easter egg - it is the only one for which I actually left a little note saying that it sounds oddly interesting.
On top of that there is also a shot of me watching Christmas movies in my blue pyjamas.
Great minds think alike, eh? We should be friends.
In a way, this film DID get a remake: the plot seems to foreshadow "The Nightmare before Christmas" quite a bit, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing Tim Burton would steal from.
Also, here's a piece of trivia: the little girl martian is actually Pia Zadora, in her showbiz debut!
This really feels like a film deserving of a Rankin-Bass styled animated remake.
I laughed out loud at the names of the Mars kids. But that part about them being concerned for their kids over the same stuff we should be concerned for our kids today was pretty on point! Not sure the solution is Santa, but at least it was an idea worth exploring.
It’s got some thought put into it! Some.
I got this movie on DVD at a White Elephant party. When I showed off what I got, someone pointed out that the movie stars Pia Zadora. I was unaware of who that was
You're like the fifth person to mention getting it as a White Elephant gift. 🤣
@@austinmcconnell Pia Zadora managed to be in not one, but two of the worst movies ever made. The other one is a musical film called Voyage of the Rock Aliens from 1984, which' visual effects are probably about equally bad to this Martians film. It did leave us with one song that's still popular today though, Pia Zadora sings it, together with Jermaine Jackson (Michael Jackson's brother; not the dude in this clip in the film): ua-cam.com/video/sJZC54x1SVY/v-deo.html
I’m so glad you decided to cover this movie! My grandma gave this movie to me when I was 14, and my cousins and I treat it like a holiday tradition to watch it. The movie sucks, but it always reminds me of grandma, so it makes the movie bearable. Plus it’s a good movie to drink and have a few laughs!
I had totally erased the fact that I had seen this movie probably 10 years ago from my mind. Thanks for the reminder that it exists, I guess.
Alight now I know that the film Kevin Bacon was watching in Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special was real.
Ah, I see you’ve discovered “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” featuring Pia Zadora.
I’d still sooner watch this schlock than any Hallmark Christmas movie.
Hooray for Santy Claus!
I first learned about this movie when I was in chemistry class. The teacher printed out a list of christmas movies, and this one was one of them. I believe i laughed very hard by reading the name.
I can't remember, but I think we might've actually watched the movie as well in class afterwards because we all were clueless what it was
But why CHEMISTRY class? 😆
14:36 That colorful thing on the wall that rocks up and down totally looks like a musical instrument. It's like a section of a giant obo or something. Where the heck would they get a giant colorful obo?
Edit: I looked it up. It's _definitely_ the middle of a big clarinet. Where did they get a huge color clarinet from? Why would someone make that thing? What purpose did it serve before this low budget movie borrowed it and tried to pass it off as a martian machine?
If you keep Droppo as comic relief, you have to get Rob Snyder for that part.
needs to be remade as a real time strategy game with over the top hammy acting. martians are the military race with high powered guns and lasers (Protoss). Santa using elves and toys to generate large numbers of cheap units (Zerg). Space force is the humans (Terran). Plot twist, Santa is an Eldritch horror that is actually going to conquer Mars and Earth for real so that he can get access to the portals in Doom. Earth and Mars have to team up together to stop him.
9:23 They seriously misspelled "kidnapped" in a movie 😭
My family has a DVD of this that I found this year and we laughed about it a bit and planned to watch it, but now we can't find it. I also want to mention that Clause was spelled two different ways on the cover between the front and the spine
Edit: We found the DVD
a good review of a well known classic of cheesy movies. i do raise my eyebrow at the "I did it. i found the worst Christmas movie." because 1) this movie is pretty well known in weird, cheesy b-movie fan circles, having been riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and re-riffed in multiple spin offs. it was also the namesake for the techno band "The Laziest Men on Mars" from the early 2000s, and their song "Nothing Can Stop Torg!" (it's Torg, not Tork/Torque)and 2) this is no where near the worst Christmas movie. weirdest, most baffling, but i'll take this lunacy over generic Hallmark Christmas movie #347 any day.
This was actually in the Guardians of the Galaxy holiday special.
The parallel of space people capturing someone beloved from earth is interesting 🤔
Santa Clause does actually exist in the Marvel universe, and is canonically one of the most powerful characters on earth.
@@kevinm5940 I wanna see Santa's power grid
at 9:25 an Italian newspaper appears and it's talking about Segni's health problem. Segni was the President of the Italian Republic during these days. I don't know what that has to do with the movie lmao
From what I understand, the foreign newspapers are just regular newspapers, and they thought the audience would just assume they were talking about Santa, too.
I had to watch this movie in 4th grade. It was my Teachers' favorite Christmas movie, then write a report on the movie which was due after the break. My brothers always told me the movie did not exist. I have now forced as many people as possible to watch this movie as I could as it is comical at how bad it actually is.
I think this really puts films like Star Wars in perspective. This is probably the most stereotypical bit of 50s to 70s Sifi media you could ever get... I love it, but I also get why it disinterested audiences and made Sifi a very hit or miss genera to work in until Lucas had some fresh world-building ideas that wasn’t green men with ray blasters!
(Also this was filmed before the moon landings, they were very optimistic if they thought the US could reach Mars in the mid 60s)
You know who I'd nominate for a remake of this? Tim Burton. Hear me out -- it's a creepy tale about childlike whimsy being attacked head-on by a creepy, militant faction that threatens to destroy that which is good and wholesome. This is right there with Alice in Wonderland or Nightmare Before Christmas in terms of vibes, and he'd be perfect for it.
And make Johnny Depp Volmar. He's got to be someone in this (thanks, Mr. Burton), and either Volmar or the news anchor would be the only options.
holy shit i just watched this with my grandparents last night
DUDE SAME WHAT IS HAPPENING
This reads like a lite comedy but it has such strong "awkward yet terrifying scp setup" vibes 😅
When I was but a wee child, like 1973-75-ish or thereabouts, in grade school, on the last day before Christmas break, they'd shuffle all us kids into the cafeteria/auditorium and have us watch this movie and "Melody time." It was a half-day, we weren't gonna pay attention in class anyway, and this was a convenient and copyright-free way of keeping all us seven year olds seated and staring in the same direction.
I weirdly love this movie.
Oh maaaan I remember finding this movie exploring through internet archive. Soon as I saw the title I knew exactly what film you would review
I love this movie! Plus, I found out that my friend is the son of the director. ‘Kidsploitation’ films like this were apparently popular. He directed it because his daughter wanted him to do it. My friend says that reviews at the time called it a kid’s movie that parents didn’t hate sitting through. I saw it in 2005. It was one of the first movies that I could stream (in parts) online!
I always heard it "Torg". "Torque" makes more sense, I guess, for this movie.
The best way to watch this film is the Mystery Science Theater 3000, Rifftrax, or Cinematic Titanic versions. The MST3K version is recommended, mainly for the holiday standard "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" is featured during a host segment, and it's not Christmas without a good action sequence, imho.
I kinda love this movie, btw. Santa was kidnapped but still willing to help those in need. There's a deeper Cold War allegory buried in there but I don't like to dig that far lest the guy in the polar bear suit might swipe angrily at me.
The remake was planned, with Jim Carrey attached as Droppo, but fell into development hell. Probably for the best?
"Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny" is a lot worse 'film' and not well known.
Honestly I feel like the robot's name was pronounced differently every time it was said, because I was confused about that when watching this movie
the final conflict scene with the kids fighting the bad guy with toys and stuff looks like they had a lot of fun filming, kinda wholesome :D
The Mars children all watched Earth TV, so why did they not recognise the handshake?
I thought this was going to at least mention the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special where aliens kidnap Kevin Bacon.
I think Kevin bacon is watching this movie in one scene of the special
Every time the kids and Santa laughed it sounded like a villain in a stereotypical superhero movie.
11:18 if there were a light source under his face it would be the perfect setting for the villain 😂
Depending on your perspective, they are the villains. 🤷🏻♂️
I saw this in my recommended and it made me laugh because it's such a Austin McConnell like video to make. I love these videos, the funny and the serious ones so thank you, you're awesome!
I think you found the Santa for your Cinematic Universe!
This is somehow both the most mundabe and insane plot I've heard of.
My theory is that Santa is on hella shrooms the entire time, which is why he just goes around giggling at shit and doesn't seem remotely phased by the fact that he's been abducted by aliens
You should make Santa from Santa Clause Conquers the Martians a character in your cinematic universe. Maybe he never returns from Mars, but with a combination of Martian technology + his magic, he can open inter-dimensional portals to deliver toys back on Earth. And maybe he's a really powerful character that barely ever uses his power, except to give wisdom, like the White Guardian in Dr Who.
I remember the first time I saw this movie. My friend got a box set of low-budget 60's movies, and let me pick which one we watched. I saw the title "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and I knew I had to see that for myself. My favorite part will always be the guy in the polar bear costume.
Seeing those effects shots makes me want to attempt a Star Trek TOS style remaster. As in just editing out the old space shots and replacing them with new CG ones
Could even make a shot of the StarShot blowing up to explain why it just disappears lol
18:37
Honestly, I’d be down for a remake that is heavily inspired by the Military industrial complex Santa Clause Operation within Arthur Christmas. The dots align so well with this plot and the technology in Arthur Chirstmas, it’s wild
My favorite part about the movie is that the Martians have a green paint put on their faces, but because it’s so cheap some of the actors’ face makeup has been completely sweated off. The best *best* part however is that most of their faces are still dyed with green
They included a positive portrayal of the military so they could get funding from them. The B story was shoehorned in just for this reason and since they wanted Santa to be the hero they had to drop it as soon and their obligation was fore-filled. 😊 Great video as usual.
Iiiiinteresting
2:47 omg I didn’t think they would have it but they do!! The martian canals this is honestly amazing and makes the movie that much more hilarious
The fascinating bit about the newspapers after the 9:23 mark is that all of the non-English ones are real-world newspapers that are about actual global evensts. The Polish one is about the death of the communist Polish President Aleksander Zawadzki. The headline of the Chinese newspaper (which incidentally is actually a Chinese-American paper from Hawaii) predicts an American victory in Vietnam. The two Italian papers are about the health of Italian President Antonio Segni (who died in 1964). The Swedish paper's headline seems to be about the Norwegian defence minister, Gudmund Harlem, threatening to send the police in against marchers. The Danish paper has a lot of different things but again, none about Santa. Le Soir (Belgian) is about uprisings in the Congo and a 'crisis of democracy'. The sequence is bookended by fake English headlines but it says a lot that they didn't even bother changing the ones on the foreign papers.
Just watched your video about the Grace "painting" on Nebula, and since you didn't have it up yet on YT I had to comment here...
I've literally, no joke, never seen that painting before your video. Great video! Great image! But, wow, I must have been under an uncultured rock for so long.
Any conversation about this film is incomplete without mentioning that it was also featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, during it's golden 'third season'. (Episode 321 aka s03e21)
9:25 - By the way, the Polish newspaper (the first one dropped on the US newspaper) appears to be an actual paper (Życie Warszawy) from August 1964 mentioning honorary guard in front of Aleksander Zawadzki’s coffin. I’m not sure of exact date but the guy died on 7th so it must have been issue from within a week or so.
Every December me and my family have a tradition of watching the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode for Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.
Of all the Christmas gifts I've ever received this movie was one of them
I watched this film last christmas and quite enjoyed it. (I'd drunk a fair bit of rum at the time. LOL)
I’m with The Green Fox Bandit. I knew about this movie through MST3K. I did not know they used seasoned actors because I was laughing too hard at the jokes from the guy and his two robot friends. Ah, good times. Thanks for the video.
Isn't this pretty well know from MST3K?
It was one of their most famous episodes along with Manos and Space Mutiny .
Next, he will "discover" Manos: The Hand of Fate.
my dad showed me this one day and we always watch it around Christmas time. it’s just so bad it’s perfectly wholesome and hilarious.
I am terribly addicted to all of Austin's videos
One of my favorite MST3K episodes! Was cool to see it cameo in the Guardians Christmas special also.
I remember watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Mystery Science Theater 3000 for Christmas Special on Sci-Fi when I was little. Even with the commentary the movie itself was insane anyway.
I remember this one well. It got replayed three or four christmases in a row when I was young and it’s the sort of movie that stays with you.
I actually have a lot of fun memories of this movie. When I was in grade school in the early 1970s they would hurt us all into the cafeteria for the last half day before Christmas break and they would have us watch this movie and Disney’s Melody time back to back. I have absolutely no idea why. I remember being genuinely frightened by the polar bear, and them seeing the lights on the horizon, and thinking it’s Santa‘s workshop, then, realizing they are just the glowing eyes of the robot…. that’s actually a pretty good twist reveal. I’m actually surprised somebody hasn’t ripped that off and used it in a much better film.
I love the laughing scenes which just go on forever and seem to exist only to fill dead air. There’s one in here that I think goes on for about two minutes straight.
The little human girl is a very young Pia Zadora.
I have a baseless hunch that the Starshot mission was supposed to either fight the evil Martian on mars, or simply show up in the end to give Santa a lift back home. Probably the latter, but they just ran out of cash. (Those papier machie caves don’t pay for themselves, you know.)
Anyway: I like this movie in a way that can only be described as feeling Sorry for it. This was somebody’s dream and it was all of these peoples one big shot and… This is what we got. It’s endearing in an awful way, kind of like a child at a talent show trying to do a magic trick and blowing it and spilling milk all over the floor and running off screaming (i did that once).
Of course they don’t resolve the B plot. Starshot obviously blew up, which would’ve been a PR nightmare for the space force which was already struggling with its image. The whole thing was swept under the carpet.
The sequel is actually about the conspiracy to cover it all up…
@@austinmcconnell You HAVE to make that! Surely it fits in the Bargain Bin Extended Universe somehow. Also, you had me looking into this film and I found out it’s quite the cult classic. There’s stage production, a punk band covered the theme song, and apparently we’re getting a remake next year!
I'm convinced that Santa blew up Mars on his way back to Earth. He seriously is letting off some evil villain vibes.
That little green kid looking at that sus handshake is the appropriate response
Honestly there could be a decent story and twist on a Santa Clause story here. A modern remake would be interesting! Merry Christmas Austin! 😊🎄
The MST3K episode of this movie is yearly viewing in my house, such a classic
This movie was made for MST3K. One of their bests.
The costume department had to make eight or nine of those helmets. And the props department had to come up with all the toys and weap*ns. With a straight face.
"How do you cock a hairdryer?"
"Dunno. Joe, you're going to the hardware shop for the hat plumbing? Get something for the hairdryer, can you?"
This film has been annual tradition since I was a teenager. It's so bad...in the best ways.
Where the hell did James Gunn even dig this one up from?! He really loves his niche oddities.
There was an MST3K episode about it, that's how most of the people who know about it know about it.
Oh, come now. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians isn't anywhere near the worst Christmas movie of all time. It's weird and goofy enough that it's actually almost perversely entertaining. It's no Die Hard obviously, and its certainly not a film I would willingly watch again without the MST3K or Rifftrax treatment, but I'd still much rather sit through it than any of the trite and soulless drivel that comes off Hallmark's assembly line.
A friend of mine and I do movie reviews and we covered this movie last year. My new GF joined us for the screening and she was dumbfounded at how my friend and I were cracking up so hard she was legitimately worried about us. Point is, I love this movie as the hallmark equivalent to The Room.
Oh my goodness thank you so much! I watched this movie once as a tiny child. I absolutely loved it and would beg my dad to let me watch it again. It was banned from the house lol.
As far as the remake was concerned I was thinking that very same thing when you said it was in the public domain. We are totally on the same wavelength there.
I agree. Honestly, the plot is genuinely interesting and novel. I, no joke, would LOVE to see this plot done justice with a remake with a decent budget.
As I've stated many, many times, I do NOT recommend trying to watch this movie unless you've got the MST3K or Rifftrax versions, if you want to keep your sanity intact!!
These always make me wonder how many times you need to watch these movies to discover, form opinions, write a whole script around them etc You gotta have seen this at least 10-ish times in various ways?
I want to see this remade as part of the Bargain Bin Cinematic Universe. Make it happen, Austin!
Phase 6 for sure
Reminder: the Kevin Bacon of the MCU loves this movie. This is canon.
Hey Austin, when's a trailer going to release for Atlas? Wondering because since the Kickstarter and the acting thing there's hasn't been much news other than February being part of the release date.
Hey James! Still deep in production. Kickstarter backers at the producer level are getting monthly updates, but I’ll have a big public update on this channel in January if all goes well.
Ah, yes, with the unforgettable quote "No offense, but you are a robot, aren't you?" 😂
Ah, no, it seems I'm confusing it with another one. This is the one with Droppo and Tork, both sampled heavily in the early internet meme songs by The Laziest Men on Mars (also a Droppo reference). If that was before your time, look 'em up, the songs are hilarious!