Life Destroyed

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  • Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 52

  • @Rhino30000
    @Rhino30000 4 місяці тому +32

    Mate, look up complex trauma. You can sort yourself out. It will take years, but it's doable .

  • @splinterborn
    @splinterborn 4 місяці тому +14

    I can really relate, I had similar childhood however none of my grandparents on either side of family actually cared or even see me as a child. So we just had single mother, 3 kids no fathers in the house. About 8 different stepdads with heroine, cocaine and alcohol addictions around kids aged between 6-15. When i was 15 we were put into foster care and i had to take care of my brother and sister. When i was a baby my mother left me several times in sueprmarkets and shops, probably why i always felt like a burden. Unwanted and unloved.
    Mother tried to kill herself several times. Father left my mother before i was born and when i did see him i was bullied and abused. Took him 26 years to appologize and say he loves me. I never had hugs or affection at all so i cant deal with intimacy at all. Never had friends, never had a girlfriend.
    Iv'e worked since i was 16 and i hate every job, i struggle to connect and communicate with people, still doing therapy and im on meds but it doesnt really help.
    As a child i used to headbut the wall until i passed out and scream to god that i hate him! I am still that child, im just almost 30 and wish i had the strength to end it all.

    • @tonycurtis4088
      @tonycurtis4088 4 місяці тому +6

      Thats a terrible thing to happen to you and your siblings, hope over time you can all heal 😢

    • @splinterborn
      @splinterborn 4 місяці тому

      @@tonycurtis4088 thanks, i suppose it may take a lifetime idk. My sister got really bad after she was abused by stepfathers and even in foster care. She stole loads of money, drank alot and ran away. I havent seen her in 2 years.
      I sometimes feel guilty and shallow for pittying my situation when i remember; genocide in gaza, ethiopia etc. People living in filth, starving to death, sex trafficing. Its a horrible evil world.

  • @ethanstinkus
    @ethanstinkus 4 місяці тому +7

    Honestly I don't normally watch videos like this in general, but I was practically glued to my screen listening to your story. I hope things get better man, u don't deserve it this rough. Sending love ❤

  • @sadle1331
    @sadle1331 4 місяці тому +12

    I don't know what the Hell brought me here, but I wish you Best of Luck, Brother. I can somehow relate to this. I haven't seen my Mom since I was 9. Since then I live a "Good" Life with my Dad. I'm 21 now, like I said, best of Luck

  • @GGMV
    @GGMV Місяць тому +2

    I don't know what's compelled me to watch this, or even to stay as long as I have, but something about your story really resonates me, you talked about finding a wholeness in yourself, please please please i implore you, for me music was the answer, enjoying, listening, playing, by yourself, with other people, it's like an entire new language. I understand im just a comment on youtube but I truly want to see you better yourself and be able to see your journey years from now.

  • @RonanHTC
    @RonanHTC 28 днів тому

    Not a psychologist, but can relate to a lot of this. It sounds like you are suffering from complex PTSD. Might sound obvious, I hear pain in your voice and it’s completely understandable. You’ve experienced both extremes of what misaligned parenting can bring.
    I think you need better people around and they are out there, you just have to find them. You deserve better than this.
    You are not your parents, you are not your family’s bad treatment of you.
    I found the following things helped me, some might work for you:-
    - working out / martial arts / boxing.
    - developing a skill that opens a new community, language learning is good for this.
    - going to social clubs of some kind.
    - reading books about subjects you are interested in / fiction.
    The shadows of how you were treated may loom over you, but as life goes on, they’ll retreat further and further into your past and soon it’ll largely feel like a bad dream.
    Love from the UK.

  • @phillipwhite4741
    @phillipwhite4741 2 місяці тому +2

    Man this hits home raised by a narcissist mother , I was the scapegoat for the whole family . I didn’t even realise till I was in my early 40,s .
    It’s a hard thing to deal with but getting there

    • @DeoVenator
      @DeoVenator  2 місяці тому

      yeah man, i thought it was just the way mums were but she really messed me up, still working on getting through it

    • @kingsosaa
      @kingsosaa Місяць тому

      @@DeoVenatorman i hope the best for you. Seeing it for the first time too at 20 and having trouble coping.

  • @tt-ig8ef
    @tt-ig8ef 4 місяці тому +3

    ts all about power and controll. Growing up ii was also the scapegoat and blamed for things that happened even before my birth! .she has said and done so many hurtful things to me in the past because i stuck around hoping she would change.now i now what narcissim is i know that she is toxic and wont ever change so i have very little contact with her now .its hard at first but you have to get the toxicity out of your life.find what support you can and start believing in yourself ❤

  • @carolyn3093
    @carolyn3093 4 місяці тому +1

    The moment you realise it was you who followed your choices through thick and thin that took you everywhere you were. A heart breaking moment. Hang in there buddy. Its all healing from here in x

  • @Samanthasosa-i8q
    @Samanthasosa-i8q 4 місяці тому +7

    I understand you're not alone. ❤

  • @patrikpass2962
    @patrikpass2962 4 місяці тому +3

    Listen to your heart and things will get better and better. It's better to stay away from people than start drama.

  • @dreadpiratelenny1348
    @dreadpiratelenny1348 4 місяці тому +1

    My life has been too similar. I'm glad the algorithm recommended this video to me, subscribed.
    Idk what to tell you, idk what to tell myself. I've been in therapy for many years for complex ptsd and have made no progress at all. I would say "hang in there, buddy! It gets better eventually!" But I really don't think it does...😢

  • @francefradetjardineslacora8114
    @francefradetjardineslacora8114 4 місяці тому +3

    Buy Pete Walker's book on surviving complex PTSD. Excellent practical tips.

  • @thegreatboppilini9006
    @thegreatboppilini9006 Місяць тому +2

    I remember how when I started playing red dead 2 it felt very real. Everything I did felt like it had weight to it. After completing the game a few times playing roughly the same style ( good guy Arthur, doing bad when I have to) I felt like doing a bad guy run. I was very petty at first just kinda being rude more than bad but then something happened in my personal life that upset me. I didn’t wanna do anything else but get on red dead and do the worst things at my disposal. It was therapeutic. Playing a fighting game became less about strategy and just about destroying my opponent. Video games really are an interesting tool for coping.

  • @Jaysonbc1234
    @Jaysonbc1234 4 місяці тому +2

    I’m going through a grieving process too - the parents I never had 💛

  • @ekaterinastaneva9922
    @ekaterinastaneva9922 Місяць тому

    Hey mate. You seem quite introspective. You reflected on your life quite a bit. Many men and women just cover these traumatic memories with booze, drugs and all sorts, just not to think about it. You are thinking and talking about it. This is big! I think life will get much better. Cheers and good luck

  • @rueporter2253
    @rueporter2253 4 місяці тому +7

    I have suffered almost constantly. I was held in a dog cage an pissed on, some dude tried to rape me at McDonald's, I've been stalked, attacked jumped, robbed etc. everywhere I go , anyone I meet becomes a potential enemy combatant. I got so bad I moved into a teepee deep woods alone. I'm still there, lol. Medicine can help, but don't get addicted. Plant medicine is best, an helped me a ton. If I can help, pls ask.

    • @russelsprout2155
      @russelsprout2155 4 місяці тому +1

      Jesus Christ 😧

    • @LilyGazou
      @LilyGazou 4 місяці тому

      I lived in a tipi. I hope yours is comfortable. You are kind to offer help.

  • @neofox2526
    @neofox2526 Місяць тому +1

    You can get through this bro ❤

  • @maydude2
    @maydude2 4 місяці тому

    I'm sorry you went through that, and that you're still going through that. I like that you can see it and are working on it. It took me a long time to see it in my own life.

  • @sayonarasakura
    @sayonarasakura Місяць тому

    sorry to hear your life story. you are still a very positive person despite what you have been through. keep your head up, good things will come!

  • @canicallyoujimZSN
    @canicallyoujimZSN 4 місяці тому

    Work hard on healing brother! You are here and you are strong 💪 ❤️ 💗 💛 💖 life is magic!!!!!

  • @AFowkingPanda
    @AFowkingPanda Місяць тому

    If you're ever feeling down, remember that you have one hell of a hairline.

  • @ItsSimplyAless
    @ItsSimplyAless 4 місяці тому

    Stay strong. I am going through things as well right now, it's really really tough, but we have to keep going. God Bless You.

  • @ShaneLikesCake
    @ShaneLikesCake Місяць тому

    Wishing you the best in your future, it's all up from here friend.

  • @HaloZ1012
    @HaloZ1012 4 місяці тому

    One day at a time mate

  • @daft4682
    @daft4682 4 місяці тому

    God bless you brother. I been down this road for a few years now. Keep at it. It's a long road. Don't give up. And buy XRP. 😂

  • @Mydgen
    @Mydgen Місяць тому

    i noticed i play video games like rpgs because i dont like to play games where you dont have choices, i think this might be partial to me never feeling like i had a choice in my real life.

  • @G1.762
    @G1.762 4 місяці тому

    Holy shit so many similarities between me and you. Thank you for making these vids they really help ❤

  • @absolutelynot554
    @absolutelynot554 Місяць тому

    bedros keuilian has some recent uploads talking about this. I think you might like them. Stay strong!

  • @kingsosaa
    @kingsosaa Місяць тому

    Man this is tough can relate to this much

  • @someone7699
    @someone7699 Місяць тому

    grandma was goated hooking you up with pokemon games

  • @russelsprout2155
    @russelsprout2155 4 місяці тому +2

    Not everyone should have kids . I think you're grandma was guilty because she knew your mother wasnt ready/capable to take care if you. You seem like a well adjusted person with a good moral compass. At least you know now how not to parent

  • @clowndriver5576
    @clowndriver5576 4 місяці тому

    Take care bro. Live your best life.

  • @manic6415
    @manic6415 4 місяці тому +1

    UMMMMMMMMMMMMM stay safe my sigma

  • @LilyGazou
    @LilyGazou 4 місяці тому

    You’re on the path. 🌺
    Keep getting help.

    • @LilyGazou
      @LilyGazou 4 місяці тому

      I wish I could be your adoptive aunt.

  • @levioptionallastname6749
    @levioptionallastname6749 2 місяці тому

    this is close to me man! this is just like me

  • @gagenieboer5229
    @gagenieboer5229 Місяць тому

    QUEENSLANDA

  • @midooley543
    @midooley543 4 місяці тому

    How are you sitting up? I can’t go more than 5 minutes before wanting to lay down

  • @asentientgoose
    @asentientgoose 4 місяці тому +6

    Healing is a journey. It takes so long, and you have to have patience. It’s just one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Have self compassion, and treat yourself with kindness. It’s tough, but you can do it.

  • @mk202
    @mk202 4 місяці тому

    Just curious- what are you worried about her doing with the birth certificate? 🤔

  • @RottenGreenPumpkins
    @RottenGreenPumpkins 4 місяці тому

    Dont be so hard on yourself now mate. Could be worse. At least you have the Wolverine thing down!!!!