I'm delighted to welcome back Dr. Tali Sharot. I can't wait to hear what you all think of this episode! 💛 Share your favourite part of the convo below 👇🏾If you enjoyed this episode could you do us a favour and HIT that like button on the video! Helps us a lot 🙏
It IS hard to believe, but a few of us are not in the banking system, for the now and hence unable to subscribe to favourites. We live in the NOW but aim and strive and head to the future. Apologies that some things have to wait, patiently!
Hi Steven, what happened to the interview with Neill Strauss? Or did I just dream that you interviewd him? It looked really interesting. Also: people just subscribe already, thanks
@@yinbambiseeking money from someone who is knowingly abusive with financial power makes the pursuer a player in the game, not a victim. Sometimes the pursuer is the manipulator. There are many other directions a person can choose.
@@RhenanMartinsRepoemEver notice people who constantly complain about a past partner and then wonder why they attract the same type of partner again and again? There’s nothing to debunk about taking accountability for your own thoughts.
I am personally quite the opposite, in my 40s, enjoying the peace and stability. There was too much stress due to negative events, I moved several times to new places and had to adapt myself to new enviroment and new cultures, and now for the past 10 years I do not get tired of enjoying the fact that there is nothing going on. For me happiness is absence of changes. I think people are so different, and so many factors affect our psyche due to our unique background, that no study can determine what happiness is, it will always be averaged and generalized.
Yes, this is a view of an economist, a monk would maybe emphasize other aspects of human nature. Joy is not the same as happiness. In fact, chasing joy is direct path to unhappiness.
The problem is that for any No 1 Neuroscientist (and there seem to be so many😮) is that, there are so many differences in cultures plus, the planet has over 8 billion people 🤔 so, it is impossible to generalise in one book, in my humble opinion. Also, they need to explain what socio-economic groups are used in the test studies as that will have a valid distinction between making data analysis. I still find it very interesting to listen to these people, as opposed to not learning.
Exactly. She comes from the material epicurean way of thinking which is just pleasure after pleasure. Hedonism in a nutshell, she'd be very difficult to trust.
Literally, THE BEST PODCAST ON UA-cam. There is something about STEVEN as a host. He is not annoying, he doesnt interupt, he asks right questions, he seems to be always interested in a subject himself, he got a good energy, he chooses interesting subject and people to interview.. Literally, he is a recipe for a perfect podcast host.
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Without a doubt a significant portion of people file for a no fault divorce because they are “bored”. This video supports my position that the current marriage and divorce system in the USA is broken. Trying to keep your spouse happy with constantly providing new stimuli and new experiences is a fools errand. Eventually, they will become bored and seek another situation. Then repeat the process. This excellent video simply provides a scientific reason why this happens.
Gah that feels like me. 😮 If I’m bored I lose interest in a lot of things and just move onto the next. Am like that with relationships to. It’s our environment really. It’s a selfish one that’s for sure and independent life style for everyone know one knows how to connect it’s so weird
I would disagree in that a wise and productive human should be in control of their emotions and instincts. The type of person who gets bored in the way you described is extremely dangerous when in situations that require you to work in a partnership or group setting. This is less scientific and more to do with the society we live in as this is certainly not ubiquitous within other countries and cultures
Marriage is a partnership. As a couple, they should work to keep the interest alive. Each should pursue individual interests as well as things they enjoy together. This allows new exciting experiences that are shared as well as enough different experiences to share and keep interest & a bit of mystery in each other.❤️
Thanks for the summary ! I think it’s a great summary, but to me it’s still worth listening to the whole episode. Sometimes it’s not so much the message but how one convinces about the message that I find to be the most impactful part of the interviews. An example is the Glucose Goddess episodes - a very short list of suggestions to improve our life with respect to glucose spikes but presented in any easy to understand way. I think this interviewee accomplishes that with interesting examples - showing many examples of how variety contributes to happiness :)
One thing that helped me keep things vibrant in a relationship is to pick somewhere new to go with your partner once per month. The planning process is almost as exciting as the actual trip, but it helps to not to become bored in your relationship.
@@victordragos4623 nothing that I said was negative…positive only. Many times when I mentioned this to people they love the idea, because it helps. If you have nothing nice to say maybe you should keep your mouth closed and your fingers from typing negativity. Your comment speaks a lot about your character.
I love change. I love seeing, learning, experiencing new things. I treat life as a book. The book has different chapters. Now at nearly 72, I am traveling in a motor home, writing a book and creating this new chapter. Done The Career, done the bringing up children, done the making money, done done done.
I'd argue this is the most engaging and informative podcast on the planet now. I love every episode and genuinely think this will help others to change their life. Thanks Steven, I appreciate it alot and others should too!
As someone who have been depressed nearly all her life, I think at this point it’s has actually helped me with my expectations. For me happiness is merely what is constant, some may even say it’s boring, but after so more ups and downs for decades, the even ground is a blessing
Thanks for a nice chat. Working for a corporates half of my life, I also fell into the trap of 'lack of meaning' at work. I rebelled, tried to find a job with 'the meaning' and was desperate. But few years ago (going into middle age) I finally realized what is the meaning of life (at least mine own) - it is not to be found at work, relationships, wealth or anything other than life itself. The meaning of (my) life is to be lived and that's all. And to finally experience the realization of this fact is the atmost releaving.
Being bored though is essential to open windows into creativity. There is a good book, from back in the day, called Amusing Ourselves To Death. Worth reading. The problem is people lose their ability to notice the world around them when they are constantly engaged in entertainment and consuming through their eyes, ears, mouth and so on. Over time they lose their humanity. They lose touch with reality.
Strongly disagree. You don't need boredom for creativity. If anything variety and stimulation cause creativity. Isn't one of the main messages in this podcast that you should fluctuate between action and stillness? People being stuck in the monotonous habit of consuming without the variety of risk and action is the cause of unhappiness.
@@rhysthomas623 Well actually your brain needs to be in low stimulation, which we can call a default state in order to create new things and be creative. I don't know you but I get really bored when jogging but I come back home with a lot of new ideas. So what @YashoShasho is actually true. Lack of creativeness and lack of capacity of wonder of new generations is actually caused by overstimulation.
This is why mindfulness, stillness and meditation is so important…when we get into the gap we are more creative. Too much stimuli blocks this as you say.
I would say that stillness (you called it boredom, but I think it might be one and the same thing?),calmer times, allow us to inwardly digest. And we may well not even realise we’re doing it! Just like children need to time to inwardly digest and reflect when learning, before going on to the next thing. Processing is so important in life, and you can’t do it if you’re constantly running from one experience to another. Whether in a relationship or anything else in life. By the way, I’m not convinced that hedonism is a path to contentment - but I’ve done it when younger, and boy it was fun!
I came to realise that CHANGE is the only constant in our lives. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable makes us less prone to fearing and avoiding it. Strangely enough, by embracing chance we get to also appreciate our positive habits while weeding out the less positive ones. Great Podcast showcasing the importance of change❤
Managing money is different from accumulating wealth, and the lack of investment education in schools may explain why people struggle to maintain their financial gains. The examples you provided are relevant, and I personally benefited from the market crisis, as I embrace challenging times while others tend to avoid them. Well, at least my advisor does too, jokingly..
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.
This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite difficult to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?
Whichever firm you select, make sure you get your insurance from a reputable financial adviser, such as *Jenny Pamogas Canaya,* who has dedicated her career to financial planning. Because they will assist you in escalating, navigating better, and completing the task in a safer manner.|
What I really like about this episode is that it validates something I said during my company wellness program. I said I get bored after going to the gym, so I take a break. Everyone in the group and the organizer said it was probably because I was not getting results, and I needed a trainer. But I lost 40 lbs, and they didn't understand how I would get bored when I lost so much weight. It was routine doing the same variety of workouts.
I find the gym to be very fun I guess I am a freak lol but yeah you gotta switch it up maybe go swimming then biking try a yoga class go hiking so many ways to stay healthy and active .
You know - I’ve always been puzzled by podcasts with audio breaks with a bit of music or a soundscape and it really makes sense now. As for going on vacation, my favourite parts are turning on my out of office notification in Outlook and waking up that first morning knowing I’m not going to work today. It almost doesn’t matter where I am!
After watching numerous videos on this channel and others, I’m fascinated by how contradictory many of them are. Lots of well educated, successful and capable people having very different takes on how navigate life. Now I just have to work out who’s advice best fits my personality while being aware that maybe it’s in the next interview, or the next, or the one after….
Our entire reason for being is for expansion through experience. When we experience the same over and over, there is no expansion. When we do or learn something new we grow and expand. Without it, we will wither and eventually die.
@@sandrabentley8111 it’s called stagnation. The state of not moving or flowing. Contentment is the state of being happy or satisfied. You can be happy and content yet stagnant. As I said above, the purpose of life is expansion, growth, movement.
I used to be a director of a child care center. It was always amazing to see reactions when new themes, decor or furniture rearranging happened. Exciting for the little ones!
Being fully present, alert and awake with all your senses fully clear in each moment of life brings EVERYTHING to life and makes it new. Take away social pressures of mindless achievement and you suddenly have the basis of a deep spiritual practice. This makes you less interested in expectations and attachments but more involved in heightening your awareness and inner experience of life. Normal ways of unconscious thinking and doing simply do not bring about peace. This podcast is for the every day person who has perhaps not experienced heightened ways of living their daily life with all the beauty that comes from silence, space and simple living x
I listened to this in full, and the topic of sex was not at the forefront of the conversation; thus the title is inaccurate. Why also is there always this fixation on sex? Not all of us are obsessed with it, and we just want to learn practical and actionable information. I appreciate your podcast but I’m giving my genuine feedback in the hope that you will consider it kindly.
20:50 That is why some of us like jazz so much! I loved that she ends up mentioning music in that paradigm because it’s so true. For all genres! The things with jazz though is that everything repeats with a little change, which makes our expectations incomplete. It keeps you so glued to the present moment and critical of the ones surrounding it, much like watching a very elegant football game. Great talk! Thank you once more, Steven! Such a good interviewer, it’s obvious that you read her work with a lot of attention.
Managing money is different from accumulating wealth, and the lack of investment education in schools may explain why people struggle to maintain their financial gains. The examples you provided are relevant, and I personally benefited from the market crisis, as I embrace challenging times while others tend to avoid them. Well, at least my advisor does too, jokingly.
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.
This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite difficult to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?
Through closely monitoring the performance of my portfolio, I have witnessed a remarkable growth of $483k in just the past two quarters. This experience has shed light on why experienced traders are able to generate substantial returns even in lesser-known markets. It is safe to say that this bold decision has been one of the most impactful choices I have made recently.
I think one needs to find the happiness inside of him. Changing jibs, activities, trips and even having short break frim a partner- all will become boring in a while. Learn to Be happy within yourself whether you do the same thing all the time or variaty of different activities or just sitting calmly doing nothing.
My husband and I I like to go 40 miles down the road and stay at this hotel with a pool and hot tub to get away for a weekend, there’s no stress from traveling a long way and we don’t get on our phones more than a couple seconds here and there to make sure there’s no emergency it’s really nice.
Nothing outside of ourselves would ever makes us happy until we find joy in simple thing in life, for me as 50yrs old fit male and now understand the important of having your own value outside of what society tells you, because those thing society want us to chase have law of diminish return. but when you connect your mind,body and spirit together then little moment/simple stuff become joyful and needs for instant gratification negate. What we percieved through senses are temporal but subjective experience about external world do matter..
This also makes me think of how we get used to our wealth status. Most of us don't think "I'm rich" or "I'm wealthy, even if we're in the top 30% or 40% and billions of people are poor compared to us. We get used to what we have and it's just normal. Indoor plumbing with hot water heaters, air conditioning, electricity, internet, any type of food we want in grocery stores, etc. Much of the world doesn't have any of that.
I literally canont stop telling people about this podcast, every episode is a revelation and explains so much about life. This is another stunning epiphany causing episode.. Why do people who have been receiving "good service" from your company naturally believe it's getting worse over time? It's not, it's their perception, they stop noticing what you're doing for them!
Pls do not put ads. Let us show you that this podcast is useful, and we are learning within. We will make the effort to listen to the podcast with breaks.
There are some very odd takes on this- Maybe I'm a bit odd, but my best day would be learning something new and having a world update- and a new perspective. Having that every day would be fantastic, and I'm telling you right now that it will never get boring. This whole "wake up, have the best, best, best stuff" is shallow -it's not the best, you don't know what your favourite thing is because you haven't tried everything ... it's impossible because, in the end, you know nothing.
This is soooo true. I agree. Learning has made my life worth living. I get depressed when I stop learning or stop thinking there r things worth learning.
I think a mid life crisis is a period where you reflect on your life compared with what you hoped it would be, and mourn your youth as it disappears into the rear view mirror.
Building wealth involves developing good habits like regularly putting money away in intervals for solid investments. Instead of trying to predict and prognosticate the stability of the market and precisely when the change is going to happen, a better strategy is simply having a portfolio that’s well prepared for any eventually, that’s how some folks' been averaging 150K every 7week these past 4months according to Bloomberg.
The US-Stock Mrkt had been on it’s longest bull-run in history, so the mass hysteria and panic is relatable considering we’re not accustomed to such troubled mrkts, but there are avenues lurking around if you know where to look. My husband and I are retiring this year with over $7,000,000 in tax deferred investments. up until 3 years ago we were 100% in the S&P. During bear markets we had a perfect plan. We got an investment manager in our corner and didn’t look at our portfolio for nearly a year.
Love this so much. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance and Dr.Tali puts the science and the emotion around it. My favourite : lower expectations - perfect advice. x
GREAT episode! Good reminder about the value to always keep doing new things. 40:27-42:40 poses a HUGE problem though. Many times when people quit a new job or relationship relatively quickly, it's because they've seen red flags from the people they're interacting with. If people were to essentially ignore them (give it a chance) as was suggested, we stop seeing those red flags and, as was said, you get used to them. And then you have to deal with the aftermath later. Red Flags do NOT deserve to be given a chance in the work place OR relationships and unfortunately toxic people seem to abound in our culture now. It would have been nice to have seen a distinction made for this!
I love the insights on joy. It really makes it clear how much of so many of our systems fail us ~ and why people are choosing certain things for more enjoyment in life. For example, when it comes to education as we get through higher levels we get less breaks. Many university students experience an almost non-stop school schedule, and so much work they dont get enough sleep. High-school students also experience something similar. Since both have issues with drop-out and dissatisfaction in education, I wonder if part of it could be helped by simply giving people more breaks. Another example that comes to my mind is people choosing remote work over in-office. At home people can take as many breaks as they need or want, whereas at the office there is ALWAYS somebody wanting to socialize or stimulation happening that captures our attention. It makes sense why people would generally prefer to be at home for difficult work, and choose to socialize on their own time.
Great talk, many takeaways, especially the need to increase risk as it becomes habitual. Also, longest study of happiness at Harvard points out that relationships are the main reason for being happy. Thanks, guys❤
This one is good! Love this lady and the things she shared here. Great talk as usual. Bring more people who really pick the brain. I love people who give me deeper introspection into my own mind and the mind of others.
I don't really agree that something that you always see starts to get old over time, it depends on the person. That is a tendency in this world, but not everybody is that way. 🤷♀️ 😊 In many ways, I think happier people don't always need something new to be excited.
something very hollow about how she sees it, I also think she misunderstand why things switch off... it is to automate things, kids need routines, boundaries and consistency, I do not believe it changes into adulthood either, hence why there are set structures in work etc...
Agreed and people who put the work in and improve together grow old together and theres something really beautiful about that. Science can't explain it all.....
It is kind of comforting to know that our desire to grow and acquire and do more and connect more is natural and drives us forward…that staying stagnant is not normal. I used to be afraid I was too driven and should stay content but yet yes and still grow and that’s okay and that it is normal to want to go out of your comfort zone. Yea very helpful podcast thank you
I've watched a lot of DofCEO, and have noticed how obsessed Steve seems with sex in his relationship 😂 Yes, it's an important aspect, but respect, friendship, trust and fun are all things that keep a relationship going...if you focus on these then the spark will always be there. Too much focus on the physical side isn't great, in my opinion. Have fun and trust each other and the rest will follow!
Like most things in life balance is key! Both partners have to be heard and tended to. I think this is perhaps the hardest part of a long-term relationship or marriage. Being a bit selfless while hopefully simultaneously receiving what you need on the other end.
I have to travel away from my husband every year for about 2 to 3 months, and I feel this is true. We miss each other a lot in that period of tine, then we meet,everything is great, and then slowly we start to get used to each other, and it doesnt feel the same. So this break is really good for us I think. The only problem is that the kids are with me during that time, so it's pretty stressfull
We used to have 2 week holidays and find that we were not enjoying it as much as we thought we would, we would be ready to go home well before the end. We now we have three x one week holidays a year, one at Christmas, one in May and one is August. Sort of tied with school holidays. We have so much to look forward to and we enjoy the holidays way more.
Yes. I also read books on breaks.. which keeps the interest. But, some ppl think this is inconsistent. Being consistent makes reading boring, dull and I don't really feel I remember anything.
Forming productive, constructive, habits=principles, has its merits even if you're not currently focused on any particular goal. Habits and routines help us increase the overall quality of our lives, stability, security, virtues, integrity, standars,...., and they also give us more room for creativity and innovation.
I'm in the midst of a life changing move to another state though, family is there with open arms. This podcast helped to embrace the importance of jolting the unconscious and subconscious to keeping spirit spicy in all aspects... To new adventures ✨️ 🥂
To summarise, in medicine is called tolerance, adaptation, habituation. Every thing becomes habit. So addicts increase the dose and don’t get the high he gets before. The neurons if excited all the time and die.
Why does one's sex life eventually get boring...? Maybe because sex isn't the only thing life is about? Maybe because of obscure phenomena like...AGE? Like...BIOLOGY? Like the natural process of growing up and growing past certain things and moving ON to other things? We produce children, they grow up, we develop other interests--spiritual, intellectual, aesthetic, altruistic, what have you--and our own bodies and minds, in their ineffable wisdom lying beneath outright conscious reflection, know it's time, indeed urgently and vitally time, to develop vastly more meaningful aspects of ourselves while there's still time, so that we can leave more in this world than just children? Perhaps? Why do building blocks and tinker toys eventually get boring? Because a child...grows up? I haven't noticed therapy sessions for 6th-graders who aren't interested in kindergarteners' toys anymore.
The world really needs a reset when so many are spoilt for choice/have so much and their main problem is 'boredom' ... Whilst the rest of the world lives in poverty, unending crisis, constantly fighting for their lives and barely manage day to day to survive.
I’m so glad I can across this pod cast. I can’t see myself doing the job that I love one more day. I thought something was wrong with me. I just need new in my professional life! Thanks for giving me the feeling of “feeling normal” back!
It starts at an early age. Coming from a low-middle class family I knew exactly what I wanted in my life: freedom. I want to explore the world, meet great people, and keep learning...even at 61 years old. In order to do it, I've made choices: 1) Never work for someone else 2) Never get married and have children 3) Stopped university after 6 months 3) Change my occupation/business every 10 years making sure it will always allow me to explore the world, meet amazing people and live unique experiences with two key aspects: having low expectations and never comparing myself. I always made my personal life as simple and disciplined as possible (ex: training daily) in order to create room for the exploration of creativity and innovation internationally in sports and entertainment. I don't care about retirement, a house, investments, and all that stuff. I always invested in me. We are not here for 200 years. My hobby now? Learning DJing and having a blast. My two favorite words? Why and No. The least favorite ones? But and security. Was it easy? No but what a journey!
10:28 As a classical Reichian therapist, we often use eye work and homework for increasing contact with the world. Boredom for us orgone therapists is simply lack of contact.
Steven instead of adding more AD, could it mean experimenting with shorter episodes? Having shorter episodes would be like making pause, and would help thinking about each of the topics touched. Similar to the moments you publish on Spotify.
Interesting that the visual habituation only happens when we focus on the black dot, it doesn’t seem to happen if you don’t. I think this has to be person specific. Some of us hate when things are broken up, like a song. There are studies that show you can cause unease by stopping on certain notes that don’t bring conclusion. What about the fact that most people don’t handle change well? Breaks are great but the frequency and variability, I believe, is person specific. In other words different people will want different amounts and lengths to their breaks.
I love change and variety. However, our short attention span and taking things for granted plays a huge role. If we're more present and appreciative, we'll actually enjoy our peace instead of always seeking the next high
“ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME” is an AMAZING song!! I love gospel and worship music! THE WORST thing is when a YT ad or something else interrupts a song I’m thoroughly enjoying! I DO NOT enjoy that. But, I do enjoy more mini vacays thru the year over one long one, for sure. 😎 God bless 🙏🏽😇🦋
I rode / ride bmx. When I was younger (16-19) I used to paint my bike monthly. I remember how painting my front rim just made my bike so much more fun to ride, looking down and seeing that new unexpected color down there. This is fascinating to hear the neurological science behind it
If you’re reading this comment, it’s not too late; you've already been immensely blessed with an abundance of love, wealth, luck, health, joy, and whatever else your heart desires!! I'm so proud of you for surviving everything you’ve been through. This is your sign to go after what your heart most desires for the highest good; it's your time to shine. ✨💖🌟
Loved this episode. One thing I'm wondering about is, how do we reconcile the danger of habituation with the immense value that comes from making so much of your life habitual and routine, i.e. the Warren Buffet method. Are these ideas mutually exclusive, or are they in conflict? Thoughts?
Happiness begins with inner peace and self love in a healthy way. If i am happy everyone is happy. 100 pro monotony is not goid so i suggest 1 holiday with wife n kids and 1 holiday with friends or alone. What this requires is TRUST. NO TRUST , NO LOVE.... SO BOREDOM IS ONLY A PERCEPTION. IT DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT YOUR SITUATION. BUT I HAVE DISAGREE WITH THIS LADY ... LISTENING TO MUSIC FULL ON VOLUME AND ALL THE WAY THROUGH , DANCING, SING IS BEST TO BE HAPPY. WE ARE NO MONKEYS ANYMORE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH PAUSES..IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE IN EVERY AREA OF LIFE. THANK YOU STEVEN. GRATE POTCAST❤
Shows how keenly u listened. I m too creative but because of a narcissist; experiencing depression. Perhaps u r also concerned with depression or creativity !❤
For me, I’m “changing the world” by raising my kids to be mentally and physically strong, capable, resilient and useful humans in order to contribute to our country in the most positive way possible. I know I’ll screw some things up in this endeavor, but my wife and I are giving it our all and will always continue to do so.
I am a 47 year old mom of three who devoted her life to them and helping my husband achieve his career goals. Not complaining, no regrets, but da** this midlife crisis thing is worst than puberty! Who am I? Is this it? What do I do now? I am lucky because my kids and my husband appreciate me and respect me, but man, I am bored to death! 😂I reaaaaaally need to think long and hard what my next steps are going to be. I have never been bored EVER! It feels so not like me. It's crazy.
Time for a new venture. At 57 I am building a new business. At 60 my sister is moving to Florida so she can party hardy with her toes in the sand. At 62 my brother is working less so he can enjoy his new house in Southern California and float around in his pool while watching the sunset. It’s a new season for you with possibly less child care before the grandkids come. You will find your ‘thing’ if you think about your gifts, what you enjoy and listen for that still, small voice. 💕
Maybe you could find some hobbies to see what interests you and you have passion for. It could be a service project or a sport/nature based hobby. Or perhaps something you used to enjoy so much when you were a teen could bring you that spark again. You exist too, and your ideas, dreams and passion need an outlet, a way to be channelled for you to feel fulfilled.
@@Createwithfranzsidney Thank you so much for your comment. I have many interests and things I like to do, but somehow it just doesn't feel enough, doesn't bring me joy as it did before. I guess it's time to try something new. 🤷
The Mac and cheese metaphors absolutely true. I did a snowboard season where all I could afford was craft. Mac and cheese with some burger and it was good for the 1st day or 2. And then it was just what I needed to sustain.
I like to wait until a season is finished to watch the whole season at once. I hate commercials. The only time the show stops, is for food or bathroom 🚽 breaks. AND…please don’t stop my massage. One hour massages are amazing.
This is just about the most interesting and valuable episode ever. I might have to listen again though, as it's hard to remember everything from just one time listening.
Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter responsible for habituation, I believe, and it also drives us to want more of the stimuli, with decreased peak levels each time we obtain the thing. Therefore variety is the spice of life. This is just my opinion based on experience and reading Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke
The happened the other day when I shared his video and then it looked like I was sharing a video about porn on Facebook...but the video was about so much more than that but I doubt anyone on my page clicked on it because of the title
I agree. There are times I have to save the videos to my podcast playlist if the upload is while I'm working. The original title/thumbnail may have caught my attention but when it changes throughout the day it may not catch my interest anymore.
It'll actually get more clicks, I think it's been changed in order to get more views. Looking at what sells and what gets to the main page of UA-cam I totally understand why creators try to use this to their advantage. This is basically the only thing one on YouYube can do, to have their videos promoted in any way. It's sad, but that's how it is...
This is why I find Motherhood so fulfilling, there is something new to learn and relearn together with your child. Happiness is the result of looking forward for what your child will be like tomorrow or the next month or year. I am amaze with my son everytime he learns something new, knowing that I somehow contributed to his progress. ❤
I think what is essential is not finding new experiences, but rather cultivating a thankful spirit and first to get off throne and serve God first. Even the mundane has its purpose.
I would love to hear an expert on propaganda and how people are tricked into believe smth without knowing that they are being tricked into believing it
Our family loves our annual vacations, fav restaurants, and as a couple we have the same things we love doing together. We’re very happy, we enjoy new things, but we are happiest doing our routines and when things don’t always change. We are very content and happiest when doing those things even though we enjoy both. And we have been married for 32 years. Isn’t this more of a personality trait whether you like a lot of change or not. And somewhat maturity in appreciating what you have versus fomo and comparison?
1:07:50 another thing to create new habits is to link them to current things you enjoy. For example I enjoy coffee and I now meditate before, using coffee as reward.
I'm delighted to welcome back Dr. Tali Sharot. I can't wait to hear what you all think of this episode! 💛 Share your favourite part of the convo below 👇🏾If you enjoyed this episode could you do us a favour and HIT that like button on the video! Helps us a lot 🙏
Do me a Favour: Stop being a beggar for Subscribing...you make 100 k a month not counting sponsorships.
This NWO/Satanist Channel continues to not let me down. You guys are fools. Good Luck.
It IS hard to believe, but a few of us are not in the banking system, for the now and hence unable to subscribe to favourites. We live in the NOW but aim and strive and head to the future. Apologies that some things have to wait, patiently!
Hi Steven, what happened to the interview with Neill Strauss? Or did I just dream that you interviewd him? It looked really interesting. Also: people just subscribe already, thanks
@@deancummings5285😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅o
40:06
"If you focus on hurt, you will continue to suffer.
If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow."
a bit more difficult when someone w/money was purposely trying teach u a lesson now that just feels like manipulation
Bobagem. Essa é a maior falácia sobre pensamentos, a qual ja foi derrubada por Daniel Kanemamm yers ago.
@@yinbambiseeking money from someone who is knowingly abusive with financial power makes the pursuer a player in the game, not a victim. Sometimes the pursuer is the manipulator. There are many other directions a person can choose.
@@RhenanMartinsRepoemEver notice people who constantly complain about a past partner and then wonder why they attract the same type of partner again and again? There’s nothing to debunk about taking accountability for your own thoughts.
these nuggets of wisdom, exactly why I come here. :)
I am personally quite the opposite, in my 40s, enjoying the peace and stability. There was too much stress due to negative events, I moved several times to new places and had to adapt myself to new enviroment and new cultures, and now for the past 10 years I do not get tired of enjoying the fact that there is nothing going on. For me happiness is absence of changes. I think people are so different, and so many factors affect our psyche due to our unique background, that no study can determine what happiness is, it will always be averaged and generalized.
In my 40's also and totally agree with you, less is more for me these days.
Yes, this is a view of an economist, a monk would maybe emphasize other aspects of human nature. Joy is not the same as happiness. In fact, chasing joy is direct path to unhappiness.
The problem is that for any No 1 Neuroscientist (and there seem to be so many😮) is that, there are so many differences in cultures plus, the planet has over 8 billion people 🤔 so, it is impossible to generalise in one book, in my humble opinion. Also, they need to explain what socio-economic groups are used in the test studies as that will have a valid distinction between making data analysis. I still find it very interesting to listen to these people, as opposed to not learning.
Theres a scientific research about that - absence of changes will lead to dimentia. Be careful
Exactly. She comes from the material epicurean way of thinking which is just pleasure after pleasure. Hedonism in a nutshell, she'd be very difficult to trust.
Literally, THE BEST PODCAST ON UA-cam. There is something about STEVEN as a host. He is not annoying, he doesnt interupt, he asks right questions, he seems to be always interested in a subject himself, he got a good energy, he chooses interesting subject and people to interview.. Literally, he is a recipe for a perfect podcast host.
He’s so good I agree ! I can’t get enough of the episodes
no need to compliment him: he will not marry you.
Beer biceps Is the best! 👌😎
he sure does...I love his show...
My new favorite podcast!
I love these episodes but how many no. 1 neuroscientists are there? 😂
😂
@@michele0324😂
You have Dr Andrew Huberman who's prob the most well known.
I don’t know, but next year my son will be a #1 Neurologist when he graduates Med School. Yea!!! 😂
😂😅
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Without a doubt a significant portion of people file for a no fault divorce because they are “bored”. This video supports my position that the current marriage and divorce system in the USA is broken. Trying to keep your spouse happy with constantly providing new stimuli and new experiences is a fools errand. Eventually, they will become bored and seek another situation. Then repeat the process. This excellent video simply provides a scientific reason why this happens.
Gah that feels like me. 😮 If I’m bored I lose interest in a lot of things and just move onto the next. Am like that with relationships to. It’s our environment really. It’s a selfish one that’s for sure and independent life style for everyone know one knows how to connect it’s so weird
I would disagree in that a wise and productive human should be in control of their emotions and instincts. The type of person who gets bored in the way you described is extremely dangerous when in situations that require you to work in a partnership or group setting. This is less scientific and more to do with the society we live in as this is certainly not ubiquitous within other countries and cultures
Women always get bored first
Marriage is a partnership. As a couple, they should work to keep the interest alive. Each should pursue individual interests as well as things they enjoy together. This allows new exciting experiences that are shared as well as enough different experiences to share and keep interest & a bit of mystery in each other.❤️
@@7reload777definitely agree with you.
To summarize the whole podcast, basically “variety is the spice of life”
Thanks 😂
literally surfing through the comments for this
Old news 🤣
Wish they had variety in this episode
Thanks for the summary ! I think it’s a great summary, but to me it’s still worth listening to the whole episode. Sometimes it’s not so much the message but how one convinces about the message that I find to be the most impactful part of the interviews. An example is the Glucose Goddess episodes - a very short list of suggestions to improve our life with respect to glucose spikes but presented in any easy to understand way. I think this interviewee accomplishes that with interesting examples - showing many examples of how variety contributes to happiness :)
One thing that helped me keep things vibrant in a relationship is to pick somewhere new to go with your partner once per month. The planning process is almost as exciting as the actual trip, but it helps to not to become bored in your relationship.
And you are doing this since...few months? Let's listen some happy couples who have stayed together 30 or more yeras
@@victordragos4623 nothing that I said was negative…positive only. Many times when I mentioned this to people they love the idea, because it helps. If you have nothing nice to say maybe you should keep your mouth closed and your fingers from typing negativity. Your comment speaks a lot about your character.
Everywhere is the same. Beauty is around you 24/7.
@@victordragos4623They endure boredom 24/7.
Appreciate the free game bro!
I love change. I love seeing, learning, experiencing new things. I treat life as a book. The book has different chapters. Now at nearly 72, I am traveling in a motor home, writing a book and creating this new chapter. Done The Career, done the bringing up children, done the making money, done done done.
Good for you. ❤ 🎉
Brilliant. ❤
I’m happy for you 🙌🫶🏽
so yo'uve done the things that society expected from you;
@@jimskeuh well some of the time, but not all of the time😂
I'd argue this is the most engaging and informative podcast on the planet now. I love every episode and genuinely think this will help others to change their life.
Thanks Steven, I appreciate it alot and others should too!
I'm huge on nutrition and study dietetics so ZOE is my fav podcast but this is my close second even with all the Huberman's and stuff
As someone who have been depressed nearly all her life, I think at this point it’s has actually helped me with my expectations. For me happiness is merely what is constant, some may even say it’s boring, but after so more ups and downs for decades, the even ground is a blessing
We forget we can use spirituality for nature's guidance. We only use ego and soul. Find infinite peace. The highest quality of happiness.😊
This sounds like peace. ❤️
absolutly
Great insight; for many even ground is a blessing. Well said ❤
Contentment is wealth !❤
Thanks for a nice chat. Working for a corporates half of my life, I also fell into the trap of 'lack of meaning' at work. I rebelled, tried to find a job with 'the meaning' and was desperate. But few years ago (going into middle age) I finally realized what is the meaning of life (at least mine own) - it is not to be found at work, relationships, wealth or anything other than life itself. The meaning of (my) life is to be lived and that's all. And to finally experience the realization of this fact is the atmost releaving.
Can you define “living” then?
@@anxiouscephalopod 🙂 just to exist and take all this world can throw at you - bad or good.
Being bored though is essential to open windows into creativity. There is a good book, from back in the day, called Amusing Ourselves To Death. Worth reading. The problem is people lose their ability to notice the world around them when they are constantly engaged in entertainment and consuming through their eyes, ears, mouth and so on. Over time they lose their humanity. They lose touch with reality.
preach! 🙌
Strongly disagree.
You don't need boredom for creativity.
If anything variety and stimulation cause creativity.
Isn't one of the main messages in this podcast that you should fluctuate between action and stillness?
People being stuck in the monotonous habit of consuming without the variety of risk and action is the cause of unhappiness.
@@rhysthomas623 Well actually your brain needs to be in low stimulation, which we can call a default state in order to create new things and be creative. I don't know you but I get really bored when jogging but I come back home with a lot of new ideas. So what @YashoShasho is actually true. Lack of creativeness and lack of capacity of wonder of new generations is actually caused by overstimulation.
This is why mindfulness, stillness and meditation is so important…when we get into the gap we are more creative. Too much stimuli blocks this as you say.
I would say that stillness (you called it boredom, but I think it might be one and the same thing?),calmer times, allow us to inwardly digest.
And we may well not even realise we’re doing it!
Just like children need to time to inwardly digest and reflect when learning, before going on to the next thing. Processing is so important in life, and you can’t do it if you’re constantly running from one experience to another. Whether in a relationship or anything else in life.
By the way, I’m not convinced that hedonism is a path to contentment - but I’ve done it when younger, and boy it was fun!
I came to realise that CHANGE is the only constant in our lives. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable makes us less prone to fearing and avoiding it. Strangely enough, by embracing chance we get to also appreciate our positive habits while weeding out the less positive ones. Great Podcast showcasing the importance of change❤
Well said ! Totally agree
I was so stressed and unhappy in my late 40s - taking care of elderly parent and high school child etc. she hit the nail on the head.
Managing money is different from accumulating wealth, and the lack of investment education in schools may explain why people struggle to maintain their financial gains. The examples you provided are relevant, and I personally benefited from the market crisis, as I embrace challenging times while others tend to avoid them. Well, at least my advisor does too, jokingly..
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.
This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite difficult to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?
Whichever firm you select, make sure you get your insurance from a reputable financial adviser, such as *Jenny Pamogas Canaya,* who has dedicated her career to financial planning. Because they will assist you in escalating, navigating better, and completing the task in a safer manner.|
I've come across several positive endorsements of Jenny Pamogas Canaya on various platforms, including UA-cam channels, seminars, and more.
This comment is a bot. Appeared copy pasted in the latest Jordan Peterson interview video and in other channels under different names. Google.
What I really like about this episode is that it validates something I said during my company wellness program. I said I get bored after going to the gym, so I take a break. Everyone in the group and the organizer said it was probably because I was not getting results, and I needed a trainer. But I lost 40 lbs, and they didn't understand how I would get bored when I lost so much weight. It was routine doing the same variety of workouts.
Gym is very boring.
Yes don’t let others opinions make ur feel bad. U do u and u know u ❤
I find the gym to be very fun I guess I am a freak lol but yeah you gotta switch it up maybe go swimming then biking try a yoga class go hiking so many ways to stay healthy and active .
Try a team sport
You know - I’ve always been puzzled by podcasts with audio breaks with a bit of music or a soundscape and it really makes sense now.
As for going on vacation, my favourite parts are turning on my out of office notification in Outlook and waking up that first morning knowing I’m not going to work today. It almost doesn’t matter where I am!
I understand very well what you mean, "where we are"...The feelings are within Us.
After watching numerous videos on this channel and others, I’m fascinated by how contradictory many of them are. Lots of well educated, successful and capable people having very different takes on how navigate life. Now I just have to work out who’s advice best fits my personality while being aware that maybe it’s in the next interview, or the next, or the one after….
The irony of these experts is that none of them is one in the bigger picture.
They all, in some way, just seem to prove what true spiritual practitioners have known for thousands of years
People who don’t know anything often go to school and through higher education to figure out the obvious. And they still don’t get it 😂
Lol...take what resonates with you and your journey. Simple.
Our entire reason for being is for expansion through experience. When we experience the same over and over, there is no expansion. When we do or learn something new we grow and expand. Without it, we will wither and eventually die.
It's called contentment.
@@sandrabentley8111 it’s called stagnation. The state of not moving or flowing. Contentment is the state of being happy or satisfied. You can be happy and content yet stagnant. As I said above, the purpose of life is expansion, growth, movement.
Yes…growth is ever changing. The same over and over is stagnant…like death.
I used to be a director of a child care center. It was always amazing to see reactions when new themes, decor or furniture rearranging happened. Exciting for the little ones!
Just like the Sims lol
Being fully present, alert and awake with all your senses fully clear in each moment of life brings EVERYTHING to life and makes it new.
Take away social pressures of mindless achievement and you suddenly have the basis of a deep spiritual practice.
This makes you less interested in expectations and attachments but more involved in heightening your awareness and inner experience of life.
Normal ways of unconscious thinking and doing simply do not bring about peace. This podcast is for the every day person who has perhaps not experienced heightened ways of living their daily life with all the beauty that comes from silence, space and simple living x
yeah if u find real love why look else
I listened to this in full, and the topic of sex was not at the forefront of the conversation; thus the title is inaccurate. Why also is there always this fixation on sex? Not all of us are obsessed with it, and we just want to learn practical and actionable information. I appreciate your podcast but I’m giving my genuine feedback in the hope that you will consider it kindly.
💯 What's more, there's quite a few self-referential questions making this feel more like someone else's therapy than an interview. :)
Habituation is security for MANY. Life is always changing and some people are grateful for the lives they have.
20:50 That is why some of us like jazz so much! I loved that she ends up mentioning music in that paradigm because it’s so true. For all genres! The things with jazz though is that everything repeats with a little change, which makes our expectations incomplete. It keeps you so glued to the present moment and critical of the ones surrounding it, much like watching a very elegant football game. Great talk! Thank you once more, Steven! Such a good interviewer, it’s obvious that you read her work with a lot of attention.
So true! Thanks so much for sharing, we appreciate your insight! Team DOAC xx
Yah, the first time you hear it. Then it sounds the same next time as the last time 😁
Jazz is a perfect example. Although, to be honest, I mostly don't enjoy it for the reason you mention.. it just puts me on edge
Mindfulness is obviously the best way to get a freshness in the mundane.
Managing money is different from accumulating wealth, and the lack of investment education in schools may explain why people struggle to maintain their financial gains. The examples you provided are relevant, and I personally benefited from the market crisis, as I embrace challenging times while others tend to avoid them. Well, at least my advisor does too, jokingly.
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.
This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite difficult to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?
Through closely monitoring the performance of my portfolio, I have witnessed a remarkable growth of $483k in just the past two quarters. This experience has shed light on why experienced traders are able to generate substantial returns even in lesser-known markets. It is safe to say that this bold decision has been one of the most impactful choices I have made recently.
Wow, that’s stirring! Do you mind connecting me to your advisor please. I desperately need one to diversified my portfolio.
I’ve actually been looking into advisors lately, the news I’ve been seeing in the market hasn’t been so encouraging. who’s the person guiding you?
I think one needs to find the happiness inside of him. Changing jibs, activities, trips and even having short break frim a partner- all will become boring in a while. Learn to Be happy within yourself whether you do the same thing all the time or variaty of different activities or just sitting calmly doing nothing.
I agree. I just read a book about this and it mentioned the same thing
My husband and I I like to go 40 miles down the road and stay at this hotel with a pool and hot tub to get away for a weekend, there’s no stress from traveling a long way and we don’t get on our phones more than a couple seconds here and there to make sure there’s no emergency it’s really nice.
Nothing outside of ourselves would ever makes us happy until we find joy in simple thing in life, for me as 50yrs old fit male and now understand the important of having your own value outside of what society tells you, because those thing society want us to chase have law of diminish return. but when you connect your mind,body and spirit together then little moment/simple stuff become joyful and needs for instant gratification negate. What we percieved through senses are temporal but subjective experience about external world do matter..
I painted my kitchen and it feels like a whole new experience. It’s not that difficult to keep your life interesting.
I feel there needs to be a balance between rituals as a foundation in life and variety as expanding your life, you need both
I don't agree with what she said re: inserting adverts in your podcasts
😂😂😂😂fr
This also makes me think of how we get used to our wealth status. Most of us don't think "I'm rich" or "I'm wealthy, even if we're in the top 30% or 40% and billions of people are poor compared to us. We get used to what we have and it's just normal. Indoor plumbing with hot water heaters, air conditioning, electricity, internet, any type of food we want in grocery stores, etc. Much of the world doesn't have any of that.
I literally canont stop telling people about this podcast, every episode is a revelation and explains so much about life. This is another stunning epiphany causing episode.. Why do people who have been receiving "good service" from your company naturally believe it's getting worse over time? It's not, it's their perception, they stop noticing what you're doing for them!
Pls do not put ads. Let us show you that this podcast is useful, and we are learning within. We will make the effort to listen to the podcast with breaks.
Seeking fun and excitement for their own sake is always a sign of distraction-seeking. Focusing inward is far more fruitful and fulfilling.
There are some very odd takes on this- Maybe I'm a bit odd, but my best day would be learning something new and having a world update- and a new perspective. Having that every day would be fantastic, and I'm telling you right now that it will never get boring. This whole "wake up, have the best, best, best stuff" is shallow -it's not the best, you don't know what your favourite thing is because you haven't tried everything ... it's impossible because, in the end, you know nothing.
This is soooo true. I agree. Learning has made my life worth living. I get depressed when I stop learning or stop thinking there r things worth learning.
I think a mid life crisis is a period where you reflect on your life compared with what you hoped it would be, and mourn your youth as it disappears into the rear view mirror.
Great description. Feels accurate, unfortunately.
I don’t mourn my youth because I’m learning more every year.
I’d never want to go back to being young and dumb!
I'd like to go back to being young, but keeping the knowledge and wisdom that age brings that's for sure.@@user-ex3mx7hk4l
@@user-ex3mx7hk4l I want to be younger, but when I was still pretty smart. 😄
Exactly what I'm going through.
Building wealth involves developing good habits like regularly putting money away in intervals for solid investments. Instead of trying to predict and prognosticate the stability of the market and precisely when the change is going to happen, a better strategy is simply having a portfolio that’s well prepared for any eventually, that’s how some folks' been averaging 150K every 7week these past 4months according to Bloomberg.
That’s crazy, I’m just doing everything wrong with my portfolio.
The US-Stock Mrkt had been on it’s longest bull-run in history, so the mass hysteria and panic is relatable considering we’re not accustomed to such troubled mrkts, but there are avenues lurking around if you know where to look. My husband and I are retiring this year with over $7,000,000 in tax deferred investments. up until 3 years ago we were 100% in the S&P. During bear markets we had a perfect plan. We got an investment manager in our corner and didn’t look at our portfolio for nearly a year.
Same here, 75% of my portfolio is in the red and I really don’t know how long I can stomach the losses. I’m beginning to reach a breaking point.
Patience patience patience. It's a cycle.... a sucky point in the cycle, but a cycle nonetheless.
Wow, that’s stirring! Do you mind connecting me to your advisor please. I desperately need one to diversified my portfolio.
Love this so much. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance and Dr.Tali puts the science and the emotion around it. My favourite : lower expectations - perfect advice. x
GREAT episode! Good reminder about the value to always keep doing new things. 40:27-42:40 poses a HUGE problem though. Many times when people quit a new job or relationship relatively quickly, it's because they've seen red flags from the people they're interacting with. If people were to essentially ignore them (give it a chance) as was suggested, we stop seeing those red flags and, as was said, you get used to them. And then you have to deal with the aftermath later. Red Flags do NOT deserve to be given a chance in the work place OR relationships and unfortunately toxic people seem to abound in our culture now. It would have been nice to have seen a distinction made for this!
This lady is extremely intelligent. She never hesitates any of her answers. She certainly knows her stuff!
Watching The Diary of a CEO is becoming a habit for me... a profoundly inspiring, motivating, perhaps life-changing one.
I love the insights on joy.
It really makes it clear how much of so many of our systems fail us ~ and why people are choosing certain things for more enjoyment in life.
For example, when it comes to education as we get through higher levels we get less breaks. Many university students experience an almost non-stop school schedule, and so much work they dont get enough sleep. High-school students also experience something similar. Since both have issues with drop-out and dissatisfaction in education, I wonder if part of it could be helped by simply giving people more breaks.
Another example that comes to my mind is people choosing remote work over in-office. At home people can take as many breaks as they need or want, whereas at the office there is ALWAYS somebody wanting to socialize or stimulation happening that captures our attention. It makes sense why people would generally prefer to be at home for difficult work, and choose to socialize on their own time.
Great talk, many takeaways, especially the need to increase risk as it becomes habitual.
Also, longest study of happiness at Harvard points out that relationships are the main reason for being happy.
Thanks, guys❤
This one is good! Love this lady and the things she shared here. Great talk as usual. Bring more people who really pick the brain. I love people who give me deeper introspection into my own mind and the mind of others.
Seems like she's explaining that people who habituate more slowly are more creative and also are more prone to depression which totally makes sense!
I liked all that was discussed except for Ad breaks. I pay UA-cam to avoid ads as much as possible 😉
Stop paying UA-cam and just get an AdBlocker, which is free. I have never watched even 1 Ad on UA-cam.
I can't believe we have so many great podcasters and guests willing to share....
Her speaking skill is just amazing and with a great flow. I can listen to her talk all day.
I don't really agree that something that you always see starts to get old over time, it depends on the person. That is a tendency in this world, but not everybody is that way. 🤷♀️
😊 In many ways, I think happier people don't always need something new to be excited.
🎯
something very hollow about how she sees it, I also think she misunderstand why things switch off... it is to automate things, kids need routines, boundaries and consistency, I do not believe it changes into adulthood either, hence why there are set structures in work etc...
Agreed and people who put the work in and improve together grow old together and theres something really beautiful about that. Science can't explain it all.....
Indeed there is some quite mass generalisation going on in this one!
It is kind of comforting to know that our desire to grow and acquire and do more and connect more is natural and drives us forward…that staying stagnant is not normal. I used to be afraid I was too driven and should stay content but yet yes and still grow and that’s okay and that it is normal to want to go out of your comfort zone. Yea very helpful podcast thank you
I've watched a lot of DofCEO, and have noticed how obsessed Steve seems with sex in his relationship 😂
Yes, it's an important aspect, but respect, friendship, trust and fun are all things that keep a relationship going...if you focus on these then the spark will always be there. Too much focus on the physical side isn't great, in my opinion. Have fun and trust each other and the rest will follow!
i agree 101% --i think its a combination of his priorities in a relationship and what keeps the viewer numbers up
@@evamontheiroSpot on 🙏
@@evamontheiroone women understands at least.
...also when you focus on one thing, like the black cross on the page, then all the beauty of the background fades away.
Like most things in life balance is key! Both partners have to be heard and tended to. I think this is perhaps the hardest part of a long-term relationship or marriage. Being a bit selfless while hopefully simultaneously receiving what you need on the other end.
I have to travel away from my husband every year for about 2 to 3 months, and I feel this is true. We miss each other a lot in that period of tine, then we meet,everything is great, and then slowly we start to get used to each other, and it doesnt feel the same. So this break is really good for us I think. The only problem is that the kids are with me during that time, so it's pretty stressfull
I have been doing vacations the way she describes for years. Some of my absolute favorites were long weekends. But six days are my max.
We used to have 2 week holidays and find that we were not enjoying it as much as we thought we would, we would be ready to go home well before the end. We now we have three x one week holidays a year, one at Christmas, one in May and one is August. Sort of tied with school holidays. We have so much to look forward to and we enjoy the holidays way more.
This podcast just showed us why we love hearing them: because we learn different things, within different topics...
Yes. I also read books on breaks.. which keeps the interest. But, some ppl think this is inconsistent. Being consistent makes reading boring, dull and I don't really feel I remember anything.
Forming productive, constructive, habits=principles, has its merits even if you're not currently focused on any particular goal.
Habits and routines help us increase the overall quality of our lives, stability, security, virtues, integrity, standars,...., and they also give us more room for creativity and innovation.
I'm in the midst of a life changing move to another state though, family is there with open arms. This podcast helped to embrace the importance of jolting the unconscious and subconscious to keeping spirit spicy in all aspects... To new adventures ✨️ 🥂
To summarise, in medicine is called tolerance, adaptation, habituation. Every thing becomes habit. So addicts increase the dose and don’t get the high he gets before. The neurons if excited all the time and die.
Why does one's sex life eventually get boring...? Maybe because sex isn't the only thing life is about? Maybe because of obscure phenomena like...AGE? Like...BIOLOGY? Like the natural process of growing up and growing past certain things and moving ON to other things? We produce children, they grow up, we develop other interests--spiritual, intellectual, aesthetic, altruistic, what have you--and our own bodies and minds, in their ineffable wisdom lying beneath outright conscious reflection, know it's time, indeed urgently and vitally time, to develop vastly more meaningful aspects of ourselves while there's still time, so that we can leave more in this world than just children? Perhaps? Why do building blocks and tinker toys eventually get boring? Because a child...grows up? I haven't noticed therapy sessions for 6th-graders who aren't interested in kindergarteners' toys anymore.
Wise man.
Well said from the Beginning to the End,,,,I am thinking & feeling the same way.
Omg Stephen please don't put ads in I love it that you don't other videos put me of from other you tubers as they have too many
The world really needs a reset when so many are spoilt for choice/have so much and their main problem is 'boredom' ... Whilst the rest of the world lives in poverty, unending crisis, constantly fighting for their lives and barely manage day to day to survive.
Too great an observation and u seem to be an angel. !
I’m so glad I can across this pod cast. I can’t see myself doing the job that I love one more day. I thought something was wrong with me. I just need new in my professional life! Thanks for giving me the feeling of “feeling normal” back!
It starts at an early age. Coming from a low-middle class family I knew exactly what I wanted in my life: freedom. I want to explore the world, meet great people, and keep learning...even at 61 years old. In order to do it, I've made choices: 1) Never work for someone else 2) Never get married and have children 3) Stopped university after 6 months 3) Change my occupation/business every 10 years making sure it will always allow me to explore the world, meet amazing people and live unique experiences with two key aspects: having low expectations and never comparing myself.
I always made my personal life as simple and disciplined as possible (ex: training daily) in order to create room for the exploration of creativity and innovation internationally in sports and entertainment. I don't care about retirement, a house, investments, and all that stuff. I always invested in me. We are not here for 200 years. My hobby now? Learning DJing and having a blast. My two favorite words? Why and No. The least favorite ones? But and security. Was it easy? No but what a journey!
10:28 As a classical Reichian therapist, we often use eye work and homework for increasing contact with the world. Boredom for us orgone therapists is simply lack of contact.
Steven instead of adding more AD, could it mean experimenting with shorter episodes?
Having shorter episodes would be like making pause, and would help thinking about each of the topics touched.
Similar to the moments you publish on Spotify.
She is saying something what many of us suspected all along ..very helpful to hear it put in words❤
Interesting that the visual habituation only happens when we focus on the black dot, it doesn’t seem to happen if you don’t. I think this has to be person specific. Some of us hate when things are broken up, like a song. There are studies that show you can cause unease by stopping on certain notes that don’t bring conclusion. What about the fact that most people don’t handle change well? Breaks are great but the frequency and variability, I believe, is person specific. In other words different people will want different amounts and lengths to their breaks.
I love change and variety. However, our short attention span and taking things for granted plays a huge role. If we're more present and appreciative, we'll actually enjoy our peace instead of always seeking the next high
“ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME” is an AMAZING song!! I love gospel and worship music! THE WORST thing is when a YT ad or something else interrupts a song I’m thoroughly enjoying! I DO NOT enjoy that. But, I do enjoy more mini vacays thru the year over one long one, for sure. 😎
God bless 🙏🏽😇🦋
I rode / ride bmx. When I was younger (16-19) I used to paint my bike monthly. I remember how painting my front rim just made my bike so much more fun to ride, looking down and seeing that new unexpected color down there. This is fascinating to hear the neurological science behind it
If you’re reading this comment, it’s not too late; you've already been immensely blessed with an abundance of love, wealth, luck, health, joy, and whatever else your heart desires!! I'm so proud of you for surviving everything you’ve been through. This is your sign to go after what your heart most desires for the highest good; it's your time to shine. ✨💖🌟
Loved this episode. One thing I'm wondering about is, how do we reconcile the danger of habituation with the immense value that comes from making so much of your life habitual and routine, i.e. the Warren Buffet method. Are these ideas mutually exclusive, or are they in conflict? Thoughts?
Yet another fantastic video. I really enjoy these Neuroscientist episodes. keep up the insightful content👍🏽.
Really glad you enjoyed the episode! Team DOAC
I enjoyed,the guest is full of energy
Happiness begins with inner peace and self love in a healthy way. If i am happy everyone is happy. 100 pro monotony is not goid so i suggest 1 holiday with wife n kids and 1 holiday with friends or alone. What this requires is TRUST. NO TRUST , NO LOVE.... SO BOREDOM IS ONLY A PERCEPTION. IT DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT YOUR SITUATION. BUT I HAVE DISAGREE WITH THIS LADY ... LISTENING TO MUSIC FULL ON VOLUME AND ALL THE WAY THROUGH , DANCING, SING IS BEST TO BE HAPPY. WE ARE NO MONKEYS ANYMORE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH PAUSES..IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE IN EVERY AREA OF LIFE. THANK YOU STEVEN. GRATE POTCAST❤
I for one will not enjoy more ad breaks.
Number 1 is ALWAYS participating in the PRESENT.
That's where it connects. People with slower habituation tend to be more creative, but also experience depression more than others.
Shows how keenly u listened.
I m too creative but because of a narcissist; experiencing depression.
Perhaps u r also concerned with depression or creativity !❤
For me, I’m “changing the world” by raising my kids to be mentally and physically strong, capable, resilient and useful humans in order to contribute to our country in the most positive way possible.
I know I’ll screw some things up in this endeavor, but my wife and I are giving it our all and will always continue to do so.
I am a 47 year old mom of three who devoted her life to them and helping my husband achieve his career goals. Not complaining, no regrets, but da** this midlife crisis thing is worst than puberty! Who am I? Is this it? What do I do now? I am lucky because my kids and my husband appreciate me and respect me, but man, I am bored to death! 😂I reaaaaaally need to think long and hard what my next steps are going to be. I have never been bored EVER! It feels so not like me. It's crazy.
@@m.d9726 Well, no thanks, it obviously didn't work for you. 🤷
Time for a new venture.
At 57 I am building a new business.
At 60 my sister is moving to Florida so she can party hardy with her toes in the sand.
At 62 my brother is working less so he can enjoy his new house in Southern California and float around in his pool while watching the sunset.
It’s a new season for you with possibly less child care before the grandkids come.
You will find your ‘thing’ if you think about your gifts, what you enjoy and listen for that still, small voice. 💕
@@user-ex3mx7hk4l Yes, it will definitely happen. Thank you for your encouraging and inspirational words. That's very kind of you. 🙏
Maybe you could find some hobbies to see what interests you and you have passion for. It could be a service project or a sport/nature based hobby. Or perhaps something you used to enjoy so much when you were a teen could bring you that spark again. You exist too, and your ideas, dreams and passion need an outlet, a way to be channelled for you to feel fulfilled.
@@Createwithfranzsidney Thank you so much for your comment. I have many interests and things I like to do, but somehow it just doesn't feel enough, doesn't bring me joy as it did before. I guess it's time to try something new. 🤷
The Mac and cheese metaphors absolutely true. I did a snowboard season where all I could afford was craft. Mac and cheese with some burger and it was good for the 1st day or 2. And then it was just what I needed to sustain.
I like to wait until a season is finished to watch the whole season at once.
I hate commercials. The only time the show stops, is for food or bathroom 🚽 breaks.
AND…please don’t stop my massage.
One hour massages are amazing.
This is just about the most interesting and valuable episode ever. I might have to listen again though, as it's hard to remember everything from just one time listening.
One of my favourites! I love how factual and research based the conversation is. Very insightful. :)
This is literally the only subscription that I will click the next video on... immediately when I see it.
We're so glad you're enjoying the episodes! Team DOAC
Love your guests and channel / podcast. Love the health mindset and mental health episodes especially. Thank you for your effort and your team.
Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter responsible for habituation, I believe, and it also drives us to want more of the stimuli, with decreased peak levels each time we obtain the thing. Therefore variety is the spice of life. This is just my opinion based on experience and reading Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke
It always feels inauthentic when you change thumbnail every few hours; like I know you are going to. I am a fan though.
The happened the other day when I shared his video and then it looked like I was sharing a video about porn on Facebook...but the video was about so much more than that but I doubt anyone on my page clicked on it because of the title
Yes! I agree.
To prevent habituation, I bet 🫠
It’s a necessary evil for the algorithm and seeing which ever version works better (A/B-testing)
I agree. There are times I have to save the videos to my podcast playlist if the upload is while I'm working. The original title/thumbnail may have caught my attention but when it changes throughout the day it may not catch my interest anymore.
It'll actually get more clicks, I think it's been changed in order to get more views. Looking at what sells and what gets to the main page of UA-cam I totally understand why creators try to use this to their advantage. This is basically the only thing one on YouYube can do, to have their videos promoted in any way. It's sad, but that's how it is...
This is why I find Motherhood so fulfilling, there is something new to learn and relearn together with your child. Happiness is the result of looking forward for what your child will be like tomorrow or the next month or year. I am amaze with my son everytime he learns something new, knowing that I somehow contributed to his progress. ❤
Where is the neil strauss episode????
I think what is essential is not finding new experiences, but rather cultivating a thankful spirit and first to get off throne and serve God first.
Even the mundane has its purpose.
No more ads, please, Steven. I do however take quick breaks when watching these episodes.
In my experience, the solution to habituation is gratitude
I would love to hear an expert on propaganda and how people are tricked into believe smth without knowing that they are being tricked into believing it
Fear. Make them scared of everything you don't want them to support
Our family loves our annual vacations, fav restaurants, and as a couple we have the same things we love doing together. We’re very happy, we enjoy new things, but we are happiest doing our routines and when things don’t always change. We are very content and happiest when doing those things even though we enjoy both. And we have been married for 32 years. Isn’t this more of a personality trait whether you like a lot of change or not. And somewhat maturity in appreciating what you have versus fomo and comparison?
1:07:50 another thing to create new habits is to link them to current things you enjoy.
For example I enjoy coffee and I now meditate before, using coffee as reward.
You just helped me perceive that I Habituate on UA-cam.
91 minutes to explain the law of diminishing returns
😴