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In case anyone needs to hear this: staying in a miserable relationship is harder to endure than going through a sudden breakup. You will get through this, trust me.
The worst part is feeling unloved. I trusted him when he said he loved me and I loved him deeply. I'm used to not being loved, but not to being lied to about it. After he broke up with me and moved on to a new relationship in just two weeks, it felt like I meant nothing to him. It’s more than just detachment; it’s the pain of being unloved by someone who once claimed to care deeply and that I loved so much.
Felt this, it's arguably the hardest feeling i've ever experienced seeing this sudden 180 shift in someone who said they'd always be there for me, and i've gone thru the death of my mom. This really caught me off guard, how can you go from wanting my daughter to losing every feeling in a day?
@@laryodaily I understand the need for detachment to move on. We can never move on if we are still connected to our past and the pain that lives there. But the hurt is not only about the past; it is also about the present and future. The trauma of being unloved after losing someone you loved so much because that person couldn’t love you back. The fear of getting involved again after someone lied or betrayed you. It has so many more layers than just detachment.
@@jgetbusy Lack of communication and transparency from the other person, and perhaps not being emotionally responsible for those they captivate, can cause significant harm. I understand that we need to respect others' freedom and shouldn’t expect too much from them, but what about those we love? This doesn't invalidate our feelings.
it hurt, but if im being honest, i was the one that tried fixing them, which when i look at it now feels very disrespectful towards her, so next time i wont try fixing somebody and instead accept them as they are and if that doesn't work, respectfully breakup with them.
You're not alone. I believed I knew what was best. It's hard accepting I was the toxic one in the relationship but it's given me the chance to realize just how much I want to do better. You're going to be better from this, I believe in ya
You wanted to fix them because you see and want a future with them. Its the least you can do to try to get over incompatibility issues. Is there any relationship thats perfect and needs no work? I dont know the answer yet but think what you did is still respectable.
Hey dudes with broken hearts, I also got dumped in a 4 year relationship. It was really hard and didn’t know what to do. I can say now, that it’s probably the best things that’s happened to me. I rediscovered myself, found emotional stability and self esteem, and feel better about who I want to be. If I can do it, anybody can. If you feel guilty or shame, then it’s even better, cause you’re someone with the capacity to grow
This past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel.
I feel your pain,Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy.
Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.
This is for anyone going through a big breakup. We all thought our first real love would be our final love, and that just wasn’t the case for some of us. But I want to tell you directly that if it were meant to be then it would. Maybe you had a rough childhood, didn’t get to see an ideal relationship in your parents growing up, etc. Often we imitate what we see in our own lives or on TV and our first relationship is this hard, fast love mixed with us trying to figure out what’s real versus what’s not, ideas about love planted in our heads through the media and people around us as we were growing up. It was meant to be, if you’re looking back now wishing you could have done better, that’s healthy, but don’t berate yourself. Learn from who you were so who you are now has reference for what’s best going forward. You’re never alone, we all experience heart break but each one is unique. Shared sorrow is half sorrow, I love you, strangers!
Ha, my first love was a long time ago. I always thought things would work out, that I'd meet the right girl, that if I just focused on being the best I could be, things would fall into place. Yeah, that never happened. All I've experienced is heartbreak, betrayal, and loss my entire life. At this point, I can't even believe that it's possible for things to work out because the universe has made it very clear that it will never happen. I don't care how long a person spends proving that you can trust them and that they'll never up and leave you without warning, EVERY girl is capable of doing exactly that if they meet a guy who they like more. In an instant, you'll watch them become a completely different person. And this new person has no interest, attraction or care left for you. It's easier to lose them in an accident or something, because at least then, you know they still loved you and all of your memories are clean. But when they go from loving you to not wanting anything to do with you without warning... they're basically dead to you anyways, except now you know that they don't care about you, and all of your memories together are tainted with the doubt if they ever really cared about you at all. Never trust anyone. Period.
@ you are the manifestation of your own self, if you gravitate towards holding resentment and bitterness than you will always feel alone. People will break you and mess up because we are all blindly stumbling through life for the first tine crashing into each other. I wish i could offer more but what you need is inside of yourself. Wu wei brother, i hope you float on okay.
im trying to work on "i love you, but i dont need you" bc it means that if i am needy abt you, i will almost rely/depend on you for everything. especially my happiness.
Two years later, I've mostly gotten over it, but it gave me trust issues. Don't tell me, 'I love you,' when you clearly love someone else more, try to say that you love us equally, and try to get two girlfriends all of a sudden when I was your first.
it's interesting to see people strive toward and find value in detachment. I have dysthymia, a low grade persistent depression, and the way i was raised led to detachment being my default state, so much so that i need to make an active effort not to be.
If I’m attached to nothing who am I? What meaning does my existence have. I’m meant to expect nothing from anyone since everything fades. I guess it hard for me to accept the pointlessness of existence. Just makes things seem so bleak. I’m rambling have a nice day
@@user-qg3ow9hf1s yeah i idealistic him so much that I failed to see he was just a boy , not my idealistic partner and same goes for me. I am just a person. Setting unrealistic standards and trying to fix People by waiting for them to reach their potential has ruined my life
It'll be 3 years in November when we broke up. I still think about her often, nostalgia if you will. I have a new life, but I can't help but miss my old life with her at times.
7:20 it’s always the same advice really (not that this is a problem). mindfulness, gratitude, self care, talk to friends & family, etc, etc. regardless of what angle/philosophical teaching you’re coming from, be it a listicle or marcus aurelius or this guy, by and large it will always be the same thing. (not particularly sure where i was going with this comment other than just pointing it out. seems there really is nothing new under the sun lol.)
This pisses me off! Partially bc it's true. Partially because I feel like it's much harder than how people make it sound. I think it takes like some luck or some level of already being happy before you can start these habits. I lack any motivation to do that shit (that's an exaggeration)
I think you're right, hearing it from every source feels like repetition. To me I like it however, I feel it shows the interconnectivity of it all. So many of these philosophies and religions speak on how we're all connected, and with advice like this sounding so similar it feels like it's connected to thay. To me it feels like if you practice one you’re almost practicing them all to an extent
@@mikaling and that isn’t a problem, as you’ve said. It really just shows the simplicity of human beings and that joy can be attained even with the little that one has, all you need is a little hope and gratitude of what’s present.
Hopefully you mean the nerd recording this vid never had 1 justifying his loser take and not because you’re a soft clown and decided not to pursue girls because you’re fragile.
Been struggling with a friendship breakup for quite a while, and it hurts more than a relationship breakup ever has. I keep flip-flopping between acceptance and anger. "Why didn't they try to keep the friendship alive like I tried to?" and "It is what it is. We simply drifted apart, and attempts to reconnect have been futile as we simply no longer have anything in common to talk about." spiral around in my thoughts. It's tough, and sometimes feels like an abusive relationship where there are moments when I feel a sense of yearning for them, for those "good old days" back then. Growing apart is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, and I'm still left with guilt that maybe if I tried harder, did more, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Idk, I'm definitely still in the healing process I guess...
I lost my First love and she slipped away. I learned a lot of lessons through the mistakes I made. The pain flows through my body still but growth remains, but I have to deal with it as that’s life's symphony. Life plays on with grace. In this world of ours, where moments sour, may we find peace within, and rise to love once more.
Been two years since she left me homeless in the woods. Haven’t depended on anyone like that since, and I’ve stayed completely out of dating. She was my fucking fiancée
in the exact same boat man. 5 years together dumped in June 9 days before my birthday. Its really rough man and i know its cliche but take it day by day. Do not deny/bottle up your feelings.
@@Separrim Only together almost 3 years but dumped June 3. Still going through it... Was literally right before I moved to a new city for work too so I don't have close friends near me :')
This got me feeling things (the good, the bad, the ugly, the heartbreak), but it’s also so cathartic to have someone put my feelings into words like this.
I think the modern socio-economic landscape as a whole has been one of the biggest contributors of a sharp increase in toxic relationships and unhealthy attachments. That certainly doesn't mean they didn't exist at all in the past, but the inherently alienating and socially isolating effect Capitalism has on the lives of many adults, especially men, may potentially lead to their excessive dependence on their partners. The over-romanticization of romantic relationships by modern media mixed with the consumerist and materialist ideas attached to them definitely doesn't do the messed-up concept modern society has of relationships any favor either.
as the person who was dumped for betraying trust with them, im finding it hard to believe im still lovable and or deserving of forgiveness. either way, not much chatter around the experience as the wrong doer on this topic.
back to back this bro is getting personal. got papers scheduled tomorrow and as its already midnight, im supposed to be studying but this recommendation gets me. idk whatever is ahead there for me. anyway, thanks for the video. i may get a good sleep after having a rough day, atleast. ah man acknowledging philoshopy aside, attachment hurts haha. hope things get alright sooner.
I've never been this early to any video. I hope everyone that watches this heals and learn that it will end, you will find someone that will be all you need. You got this friend
( not a hate comment) congrats on having the most unrealistic idea of getting over someone ofc detachment can cure this longing and sickness to the idea of them. this just breaks down everytime im stressed / sad/ angry or feeling any intense emotion really. this happens because i was so afraid that i got attached so bad that i now define myself through them, so now whenever something triggers an emotional response i need to relive this " bundle of memories" in order to be normal and act like myself ( through more attachment) p.s im angry and so probably this doesnt make any sense
I felt so many emotions when my breakup happened. I was so angry and sad and betrayed and jealous, but the detachment helped me realize I can feel all of these fully and there's nothing wrong with it. Categorizing and understanding the emotions without giving them a good or bad label while also trying to find a root helped me so much. I'm practicing every day, I got so angry over so many things and to me it was because I felt it was wrong to feel angry or that it was a "bad" emotion. Now I feel it but try to identify how I want to react, because our actions make up who we are. I wish you the best of luck, I can't imagine how difficult it is for you since we're two separate people. Just know I'm rooting for you
This was a truly beautiful video. I’ve been struggling to finally let go of the person I thought was the one, but the teachings of Krishnamurti have provided me a new perspective. It is the ups and downs of life that make it so beautiful. Learning to detach from expectations or dependence on outcomes let’s one fully experience life without being paralyzed by ruminations of the past or fears of the future. Love is ever-present in ways we cannot even comprehend and the act of letting go is truly one of the strongest examples of love there is.
Thanks. I discovered your channel while I dealing with a massive breakup. I still am, but you and other teachings have really helped. I dissolved my sense of being into this other person, and detachment is something I'm trying to practice every day. Your videos helped me realize I'm not the only person who's dealing with stuff like this. Your video on overcoming your ego and healing and sort of recognizing your addictive tendencies resonated with me. Thanks for showing me that we're all human
You don’t have to worry about another person’s feelings anymore you are no longer tied down, the world is yours my friend don’t let a silly relationship ruin your quality of life
Nice timing. My wife of 6 years just divorced me a month ago for another man she met on an online video game. I cannot overstate how much this video helped me. The truth is, the pain is soul-deep. A scar that will never fully heal, that i will learn to live with. It will fade, they all do. I have convinced myself I will never again be loved, and at the same time aknowledge this is a naive, ego-protecting lie. Thank you for this video, youve saved a life.
Highly appreciate the “actions” at the end of this video. Sometimes even if I fully understand something it’s so difficult to then tie that to an action
This video dropped the same day my partner of 2 years (my longest relationship by far) dumped me and at the time i was far too scared to be confronted by my own emotion and decided to skip this, i now regret that and wish i had watched it immediately, thank you mr. phus for this banger.
It's been almost two months since she said goodbye. Since the better half of me was lost. Since the one I thought i'd be spending the rest of my life with, the one i'll always love. left me. I know we still talk and im grateful for that but to have you not hurt like I am, to have you not long for the past that we once used to dream about. It's killing me.
7 years ago I had to break up with someone I'm in love with. This year I finally became, truly, aware of what happened and how it effected me. Thank you Mr. Sisyphus, you've been helping me gain knowledge to achieve wisdom
I dumped him because I couldn't hold on to someone who clearly wouldn't make time for me, always distant and never opens up--it felt like dating a stranger more than someone who loved me (he never did). But at the same time, I'm still attached to him, to the memories we have despite knowing it no longer holds value or meaning to my life, but only to serve as a lesson. This is only the first step I need to take in this process of healing.
As I see it, there is no point of getting sad over memories good or bad. You'll always think how you could have done better where she will find more and more reason why breakup made sense.
2 days ago me and my girlfriend got into an almost relationship ending fight, luckily we worked it out in the end. But the timing of this video is scary because it released the day after. I'm glad im not in need of this video and I'm glad we talked it out. I love her so much.
There are two kinds of people in life, those who think 90% of success is just showing up, because when they show up, things just seem to fall into place and work out. And those for who when they show up, the only possible outcomes are nothing happens or they make things worse. Know which group you're in, because if you're in the latter, no advice from the former will work for you.
It’s been over 2 years, we were together and apart 3 times over 3.5 years. I have trouble letting go, limerent thoughts, placing her on a pedestal, thinking she’s way better off without me, that she made the best decision to leave. The guilt of feeling like (and repeatedly told by her) that I was 100% responsible for every bit of drama, trauma, negativity, argument etc when shit would go bad. Yet I still miss her. I miss the good times, still blame myself for way more than what I was truly responsible for. She could never accept her having any unresolved traumas from her upbringing, yet was a self-proclaimed expert on psychology, could read and breakdown any situation, yet could never see she acted out from very broken ways. Yet I’m still convinced and losing hope of finding another beautiful, intelligent and loving person as she was to love such a “broken and fucked up guy” like me.. my kind, loving heart is there, just caged in under thick walls of depressed and deep sadness, anger, fear and resentment. I hope you all find the love and acceptance of yourselves from within ❤
I’m never one to comment on these things, but here we are. This video was timed well, in that I’d recently been broken up with, and a lot of it rings true. I embraced the “it is what it is” mentally - I said it a couple times as my heart folded, as she apologised repeatedly and asked if I’m going be okay. She was the first person that I can say I truly opened up to, which makes this all the more painful. I know there’s nothing I could have done better, and that the outcome was an unfortunate inevitability, but she was also all I wanted so I was willing to delay it as long as I could. This will change. I’ve been told to be kind to myself so many times that it’s literally lost all meaning. Everything is difficult, and my short windows of sleep are interrupted by immediate thoughts of her. It feels all encompassing, like it’ll never end, or get better. But it will. I’ll keep telling myself that. The human experience is collective, we’ve ALL been through this or some variant of this, at some point, this loss that feels all encompassing. But I’ll be okay. And if I’m going to be okay, so too shall you. I hope you read these words and see that I don’t know you, but I hope you find your happiness, and things will get better. Look for the small sparks, the glimmers of beauty, and don’t shut yourself away. We can do this.
It's been 2 months, and I have just found out I'll be we'll both be starting the same job next year and will be spending the whole of next year together. I'm dreading seeing her
I dated her for 2 months. I told her im looking for long term relationship, she does too, but after asking where she think this is heading. She only see us hanging out as friendship and she's unsure if she wants to have a relationship with me. She said we can hangout again and see where it goes. But i feel like I'm the only one excerting effort to keep it going. So i kinda take it as a rejection and stopped seeing her even if I wanted to. I am trying to detach myself from her, but im finding it hard at times. I'm hoping to heal from my situation soon.
It takes a little more empathy and understanding to forgive yourself in these situations, and finding that there is no one to blame, not even yourself. In most cases circumstances just don't work out. It takes strength to fight these odds, and then even more to get over it all. Maybe through detachment we can finally see the bigger picture, and what its teaching us. Alas, the universe surprises you.
Yea I be spending a month of travelling with the ex I can’t seem to get over with (issa cool group sports thing), so thanks!!! 🤣 No but I am growing out of it little by little to be honest, and what’s been helping me the most lately is Letters to a young poet by Rainer Maria Rilke! I wonder if you’ve read it already Sisyphus, if not I bet you would absolutely love it ☺️ It’s my bedside book now and I’ve re-read it thrice already!!
@@bipinmishra3973 it’s going to be difficult. It might not get better or easier for a good long while. I understand why you’d feel that way. Losing someone who means the world to you is really difficult. I know you can make it through this patch of pain. I believe in you
@@bipinmishra3973 i believe in you too, got dumped right when video came out, it's hard and heavy, but there's nothing i can do to change it, and if i can't change it then why should i care? I have new people to meet and time to spend with them and my friends And so do you, you are much stronger than it looks, you will win
I just left my job because of a freak accident there, and I'm so so sad because I loved it so much. But in 5 days without it, I can see that I only loved like 5% of it, and it where some of the people that I met there, I hated the job per se. Even this 5% hurts, it hurts so much, I can't think of myself without it right now. I've dumped people and I've been dumped too, and it'll always hurt, and sometimes there isn't consolation or 'things will get better'. Sometimes things just suck forever.
My ex and I had been separated for a year and a half and I thought I had gotten over her. We stayed friends though and literally this past week we reconnected even though she still had a boyfriend. This ended up with her admitting that she still loved me and that she missed me still and when this happened all of my feelings came back like they never left. It sucked because it was a mistake. We hugged one last time and she left. “Im sorry things worked out this way… but it was nice to see you” were her last words. It’s like she dumped me again even though we weren’t dating
Hey, man, how's It going? It seems to me she only now got her closure. Possibly an avoidant - anxious push and pull dynamic you guys had, can relate. Have you obtained closure though? You already know the relationship was a mistake and she seems to have finally moved on, when will you do the same?
But what if I continue to get older and have no desire to be in a relationship? Is the only conlusion that I am subconsciously still desiring companionship to avoid feeling alone? Try as I might, even if I feel that I don't want a relationship, it *must* actually be the case that I do, even if its on a subconscious, "Freudian" level?
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Crazy how everyone's just been dumped all at once so Sisyphus could post this (me too)
Yup pretty wild
yea
4 years down the drain, but hey a lot of lessons learned. I’ll be damned if i don’t think i’ll miss her forever though
we all may be going thru it rn but sisyphus55 got us
2 years like wtf @@puIsaar
Bro's timing couldn't be any more better
My guy sees the future
@@8lec_R for us no less
@@d3monition sorry to hear that broski, i hope you get over em soon
well, end of August the the time of year people get dumped every year
Real.
Sisyphus: "So you've been dumped?"
Literary everyone: "WHOOOO TOOOOLD YOUUUUU?" 😭
@@immrssnow Laughs in AroAce 😂
In case anyone needs to hear this: staying in a miserable relationship is harder to endure than going through a sudden breakup. You will get through this, trust me.
Agreed. BTDT.
Went through both and I think the breakup was worse.
@@tellurianapostle that’s because you’re a loser😊 hope this helps!
@@tellurianapostleyeah same. Hard disagree for me here too
Yeah man, 100 %. It took me 1 1/2 years to finally really heal from her and I still miss her sometimes. But being with her was just SO. MUCH. PAIN.
The worst part is feeling unloved. I trusted him when he said he loved me and I loved him deeply. I'm used to not being loved, but not to being lied to about it. After he broke up with me and moved on to a new relationship in just two weeks, it felt like I meant nothing to him. It’s more than just detachment; it’s the pain of being unloved by someone who once claimed to care deeply and that I loved so much.
literally going through the same situation
Felt this, it's arguably the hardest feeling i've ever experienced seeing this sudden 180 shift in someone who said they'd always be there for me, and i've gone thru the death of my mom. This really caught me off guard, how can you go from wanting my daughter to losing every feeling in a day?
You articulated this feeling perfectly, better than I've been able to all this time. I don't feel like I'll ever trust like that again.
@@laryodaily I understand the need for detachment to move on. We can never move on if we are still connected to our past and the pain that lives there. But the hurt is not only about the past; it is also about the present and future. The trauma of being unloved after losing someone you loved so much because that person couldn’t love you back. The fear of getting involved again after someone lied or betrayed you. It has so many more layers than just detachment.
@@jgetbusy Lack of communication and transparency from the other person, and perhaps not being emotionally responsible for those they captivate, can cause significant harm. I understand that we need to respect others' freedom and shouldn’t expect too much from them, but what about those we love? This doesn't invalidate our feelings.
it hurt, but if im being honest, i was the one that tried fixing them, which when i look at it now feels very disrespectful towards her, so next time i wont try fixing somebody and instead accept them as they are and if that doesn't work, respectfully breakup with them.
❤
Sounds good.
You're not alone. I believed I knew what was best. It's hard accepting I was the toxic one in the relationship but it's given me the chance to realize just how much I want to do better. You're going to be better from this, I believe in ya
As someone who was a side project, seen as a burden who is incapable but has potential… it was kind of you to let go.
You wanted to fix them because you see and want a future with them. Its the least you can do to try to get over incompatibility issues. Is there any relationship thats perfect and needs no work? I dont know the answer yet but think what you did is still respectable.
Hey dudes with broken hearts, I also got dumped in a 4 year relationship. It was really hard and didn’t know what to do. I can say now, that it’s probably the best things that’s happened to me. I rediscovered myself, found emotional stability and self esteem, and feel better about who I want to be. If I can do it, anybody can. If you feel guilty or shame, then it’s even better, cause you’re someone with the capacity to grow
@@Jonnyk-pf3xj how long did it take you to move on after the break up?
@ about 3 months of consistent inner work to stop it from constantly hurting, now it’s an ache that doesn’t stopping me from moving to the future
This past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel.
I feel your pain,Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy.
Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
This is for anyone going through a big breakup. We all thought our first real love would be our final love, and that just wasn’t the case for some of us. But I want to tell you directly that if it were meant to be then it would. Maybe you had a rough childhood, didn’t get to see an ideal relationship in your parents growing up, etc. Often we imitate what we see in our own lives or on TV and our first relationship is this hard, fast love mixed with us trying to figure out what’s real versus what’s not, ideas about love planted in our heads through the media and people around us as we were growing up. It was meant to be, if you’re looking back now wishing you could have done better, that’s healthy, but don’t berate yourself. Learn from who you were so who you are now has reference for what’s best going forward. You’re never alone, we all experience heart break but each one is unique. Shared sorrow is half sorrow, I love you, strangers!
@@kedamono9212 well said, thank you
I love you too, stranger. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
I love you too stranger
Ha, my first love was a long time ago. I always thought things would work out, that I'd meet the right girl, that if I just focused on being the best I could be, things would fall into place. Yeah, that never happened. All I've experienced is heartbreak, betrayal, and loss my entire life. At this point, I can't even believe that it's possible for things to work out because the universe has made it very clear that it will never happen.
I don't care how long a person spends proving that you can trust them and that they'll never up and leave you without warning, EVERY girl is capable of doing exactly that if they meet a guy who they like more. In an instant, you'll watch them become a completely different person. And this new person has no interest, attraction or care left for you.
It's easier to lose them in an accident or something, because at least then, you know they still loved you and all of your memories are clean. But when they go from loving you to not wanting anything to do with you without warning... they're basically dead to you anyways, except now you know that they don't care about you, and all of your memories together are tainted with the doubt if they ever really cared about you at all.
Never trust anyone. Period.
@ you are the manifestation of your own self, if you gravitate towards holding resentment and bitterness than you will always feel alone. People will break you and mess up because we are all blindly stumbling through life for the first tine crashing into each other. I wish i could offer more but what you need is inside of yourself. Wu wei brother, i hope you float on okay.
im trying to work on "i love you, but i dont need you" bc it means that if i am needy abt you, i will almost rely/depend on you for everything. especially my happiness.
Two years later, I've mostly gotten over it, but it gave me trust issues. Don't tell me, 'I love you,' when you clearly love someone else more, try to say that you love us equally, and try to get two girlfriends all of a sudden when I was your first.
I'm sorry dude
@@LombaxLover123 men say I love you to cam girls online every second of the day
@@UltimateTNTGod it's alright, but thank you. (And I am a girl but I don't mind being called that haha-)
it's interesting to see people strive toward and find value in detachment. I have dysthymia, a low grade persistent depression, and the way i was raised led to detachment being my default state, so much so that i need to make an active effort not to be.
I wouldn't get too stuck on verbiage. Krishnamurti isn't advocating some kind of unfeeling indifference.
If I’m attached to nothing who am I? What meaning does my existence have. I’m meant to expect nothing from anyone since everything fades. I guess it hard for me to accept the pointlessness of existence. Just makes things seem so bleak. I’m rambling have a nice day
no shit, sent him a message that i miss him and he just liked it 💀 it hurts but i can take the L
Bruh💀he literally told everyone it wasn't serious and that we were just friends 😂
@@prakhya123 yeah but it's all about them. that sounds like insecurity to me the fact that he had to tell everyone. goofy behavior
@@user-qg3ow9hf1s yeah i idealistic him so much that I failed to see he was just a boy , not my idealistic partner and same goes for me. I am just a person. Setting unrealistic standards and trying to fix People by waiting for them to reach their potential has ruined my life
Prefect timing. I had to do the dumping, but only with terrible anguish. This affirms what I know beyond the immediate feelings.
did opps send ya!
Me after she doesn’t respond for a few hours
It'll be 3 years in November when we broke up. I still think about her often, nostalgia if you will. I have a new life, but I can't help but miss my old life with her at times.
7:20 it’s always the same advice really (not that this is a problem). mindfulness, gratitude, self care, talk to friends & family, etc, etc. regardless of what angle/philosophical teaching you’re coming from, be it a listicle or marcus aurelius or this guy, by and large it will always be the same thing. (not particularly sure where i was going with this comment other than just pointing it out. seems there really is nothing new under the sun lol.)
This pisses me off! Partially bc it's true. Partially because I feel like it's much harder than how people make it sound. I think it takes like some luck or some level of already being happy before you can start these habits. I lack any motivation to do that shit (that's an exaggeration)
I think you're right, hearing it from every source feels like repetition. To me I like it however, I feel it shows the interconnectivity of it all. So many of these philosophies and religions speak on how we're all connected, and with advice like this sounding so similar it feels like it's connected to thay. To me it feels like if you practice one you’re almost practicing them all to an extent
There is no secret ingredient
@@mikaling and that isn’t a problem, as you’ve said.
It really just shows the simplicity of human beings and that joy can be attained even with the little that one has, all you need is a little hope and gratitude of what’s present.
Vanity of vanities. All of it is vanity.
There is nothing new under the sun.
It is all just chasing the wind.
Remarkably I was dumped less than 24hr ago. Near perfect timing!
@@oumoyou won, i got dumped day before yesterday
Can’t be dumped if you’ve never been in a relationship!
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730 Hell Yeah Man!
We are 4 decades ahead everyone else in these comments.
Hopefully you mean the nerd recording this vid never had 1 justifying his loser take and not because you’re a soft clown and decided not to pursue girls because you’re fragile.
I miss the time before I knew of the warmth of a relationship
Extinguishing the FOMO wasn't worth it.
Going through a 5 year breakup right now on pretty damn crazy terms haha and oh man… these words are pure gold ✌🏻
Been struggling with a friendship breakup for quite a while, and it hurts more than a relationship breakup ever has. I keep flip-flopping between acceptance and anger. "Why didn't they try to keep the friendship alive like I tried to?" and "It is what it is. We simply drifted apart, and attempts to reconnect have been futile as we simply no longer have anything in common to talk about." spiral around in my thoughts. It's tough, and sometimes feels like an abusive relationship where there are moments when I feel a sense of yearning for them, for those "good old days" back then. Growing apart is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, and I'm still left with guilt that maybe if I tried harder, did more, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Idk, I'm definitely still in the healing process I guess...
I lost my First love and she slipped away. I learned a lot of lessons through the mistakes I made. The pain flows through my body still but growth remains, but I have to deal with it as that’s life's symphony. Life plays on with grace. In this world of ours, where moments sour, may we find peace within, and rise to love once more.
Been two years since she left me homeless in the woods. Haven’t depended on anyone like that since, and I’ve stayed completely out of dating. She was my fucking fiancée
@@the.dirt.man. Shit dude, that sounds horrible.
Keep in mind you don't need her, there are better people out there.
@@Commie-Comrade thanks brody, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again❤️
@@the.dirt.man. that's actually insane... I hope youre healing and doing better now 🙏
They always leave you when you are at your lowest. 😅 but ends up teaching us a lot about love and life.
5 years, she left 3 months ago and I’m still grieving
be strong brother,i am in the same exact situations but trust me,keep going sooner or later you will get better
in the exact same boat man. 5 years together dumped in June 9 days before my birthday. Its really rough man and i know its cliche but take it day by day. Do not deny/bottle up your feelings.
@@Separrim Only together almost 3 years but dumped June 3. Still going through it... Was literally right before I moved to a new city for work too so I don't have close friends near me :')
This got me feeling things (the good, the bad, the ugly, the heartbreak), but it’s also so cathartic to have someone put my feelings into words like this.
This is why I can’t even be nonchalant anymore. Too many sweats
sisyphus 55's channel is really a gold mine for all teenagers
So bro basically said you should adopt the "it is what it is" mindset
@@philipmerkulov9887 patrick bateman sigma pfp 😎😎😎😎 respect 🔥🥶🥶
Always when I’m in this situation he post it! One must imagine sisyphus 55 has cameras all over the place to know when to up load these bangers 😂
I think the modern socio-economic landscape as a whole has been one of the biggest contributors of a sharp increase in toxic relationships and unhealthy attachments. That certainly doesn't mean they didn't exist at all in the past, but the inherently alienating and socially isolating effect Capitalism has on the lives of many adults, especially men, may potentially lead to their excessive dependence on their partners. The over-romanticization of romantic relationships by modern media mixed with the consumerist and materialist ideas attached to them definitely doesn't do the messed-up concept modern society has of relationships any favor either.
Couldn't put it better
i got dumped yesterday. he just treated my so badly, especially when he ended it. thanks.
as the person who was dumped for betraying trust with them, im finding it hard to believe im still lovable and or deserving of forgiveness. either way, not much chatter around the experience as the wrong doer on this topic.
back to back this bro is getting personal. got papers scheduled tomorrow and as its already midnight, im supposed to be studying but this recommendation gets me. idk whatever is ahead there for me. anyway, thanks for the video. i may get a good sleep after having a rough day, atleast. ah man acknowledging philoshopy aside, attachment hurts haha. hope things get alright sooner.
It's always a wonder how I can feel detached to everyone yet I want to feel connected to them.
Did literally everyone get dumped in September? The heck's going on...
I've never been this early to any video. I hope everyone that watches this heals and learn that it will end, you will find someone that will be all you need. You got this friend
( not a hate comment)
congrats on having the most unrealistic idea of getting over someone
ofc detachment can cure this longing and sickness to the idea of them.
this just breaks down everytime im stressed / sad/ angry or feeling any intense emotion really.
this happens because i was so afraid that i got attached so bad that i now define myself through them, so now whenever something triggers an emotional response i need to relive this " bundle of memories" in order to be normal and act like myself ( through more attachment)
p.s im angry and so probably this doesnt make any sense
I felt so many emotions when my breakup happened. I was so angry and sad and betrayed and jealous, but the detachment helped me realize I can feel all of these fully and there's nothing wrong with it. Categorizing and understanding the emotions without giving them a good or bad label while also trying to find a root helped me so much. I'm practicing every day, I got so angry over so many things and to me it was because I felt it was wrong to feel angry or that it was a "bad" emotion. Now I feel it but try to identify how I want to react, because our actions make up who we are. I wish you the best of luck, I can't imagine how difficult it is for you since we're two separate people. Just know I'm rooting for you
crazy how i needed this
This was a truly beautiful video. I’ve been struggling to finally let go of the person I thought was the one, but the teachings of Krishnamurti have provided me a new perspective. It is the ups and downs of life that make it so beautiful. Learning to detach from expectations or dependence on outcomes let’s one fully experience life without being paralyzed by ruminations of the past or fears of the future. Love is ever-present in ways we cannot even comprehend and the act of letting go is truly one of the strongest examples of love there is.
Kinda wish I could get attached in the first place. Can't even be vulnerable, like someone, get dumped, feel something.
Thanks. I discovered your channel while I dealing with a massive breakup. I still am, but you and other teachings have really helped. I dissolved my sense of being into this other person, and detachment is something I'm trying to practice every day. Your videos helped me realize I'm not the only person who's dealing with stuff like this. Your video on overcoming your ego and healing and sort of recognizing your addictive tendencies resonated with me. Thanks for showing me that we're all human
THE TIMING, i cant- (im meeting him today to give him his things back, this is actually crazy.)
I've been dumped and I've got nowhere else to go.
You have everywhere to go
When you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up
You don’t have to worry about another person’s feelings anymore you are no longer tied down, the world is yours my friend don’t let a silly relationship ruin your quality of life
Go to mcdonalds and get yourself a happy meal my friend. I did that after i got dumped and it helped me feel js a bit happier
There's nowhere that you have to go, just be for now
Nice timing.
My wife of 6 years just divorced me a month ago for another man she met on an online video game.
I cannot overstate how much this video helped me.
The truth is, the pain is soul-deep. A scar that will never fully heal, that i will learn to live with. It will fade, they all do.
I have convinced myself I will never again be loved, and at the same time aknowledge this is a naive, ego-protecting lie.
Thank you for this video, youve saved a life.
Non-attachment and detachment are different things
To be detached is to be numb and disconnected
To lack attachment is to be free of rigidity
Highly appreciate the “actions” at the end of this video. Sometimes even if I fully understand something it’s so difficult to then tie that to an action
0:16 bro's crying to _I Am the Walrus_ smh my head
Goo goo g'joob
For he is the Eggman
pov: an english teacher trying to decode the song’s meaning (John intended to write nonsense)
When you’re happy, you enjoy the music
When you’re sad, you understand the lyrics
This video dropped the same day my partner of 2 years (my longest relationship by far) dumped me and at the time i was far too scared to be confronted by my own emotion and decided to skip this, i now regret that and wish i had watched it immediately, thank you mr. phus for this banger.
The timing is impeccable
Missed your voiceovers ben, great work!
How does he always know exactly what video I need
It's been almost two months since she said goodbye. Since the better half of me was lost. Since the one I thought i'd be spending the rest of my life with, the one i'll always love. left me. I know we still talk and im grateful for that but to have you not hurt like I am, to have you not long for the past that we once used to dream about. It's killing me.
how is your timing ALWAYS perfect??? it’s insane wow i love the video
7 years ago I had to break up with someone I'm in love with. This year I finally became, truly, aware of what happened and how it effected me. Thank you Mr. Sisyphus, you've been helping me gain knowledge to achieve wisdom
I dumped him because I couldn't hold on to someone who clearly wouldn't make time for me, always distant and never opens up--it felt like dating a stranger more than someone who loved me (he never did).
But at the same time, I'm still attached to him, to the memories we have despite knowing it no longer holds value or meaning to my life, but only to serve as a lesson. This is only the first step I need to take in this process of healing.
Perfect timing for this, thanks sisyphus 😊
Always posts when I need it. The timing is crazy
Aesthetics on point for this one
Couldn’t be anymore perfect with the timing.
The timing is crazy
You posted this right after I finally got over my dump that happened over a year and a half ago, lol, perfect timing
The fact I searched for your account just for some mindfulness after a breakup and this is the first video I see
As I see it, there is no point of getting sad over memories good or bad.
You'll always think how you could have done better where she will find more and more reason why breakup made sense.
You keep hitting and you don't miss Sisyphus!
Imagine you get broken up with, and this shows up in your feed as a notification.
happy rejection season everyone may you find happiness and joy in other things
2 days ago me and my girlfriend got into an almost relationship ending fight, luckily we worked it out in the end. But the timing of this video is scary because it released the day after. I'm glad im not in need of this video and I'm glad we talked it out. I love her so much.
good for you, now leave before they figure it out.
There are two kinds of people in life, those who think 90% of success is just showing up, because when they show up, things just seem to fall into place and work out. And those for who when they show up, the only possible outcomes are nothing happens or they make things worse. Know which group you're in, because if you're in the latter, no advice from the former will work for you.
You posted this on the day it happened…that synchronicity, dude.
Damn- I’ve been thinking about them and the break up more than usual today and this popped up.
Why are our experiences so universal?
It’s been over 2 years, we were together and apart 3 times over 3.5 years.
I have trouble letting go, limerent thoughts, placing her on a pedestal, thinking she’s way better off without me, that she made the best decision to leave.
The guilt of feeling like (and repeatedly told by her) that I was 100% responsible for every bit of drama, trauma, negativity, argument etc when shit would go bad.
Yet I still miss her. I miss the good times, still blame myself for way more than what I was truly responsible for. She could never accept her having any unresolved traumas from her upbringing, yet was a self-proclaimed expert on psychology, could read and breakdown any situation, yet could never see she acted out from very broken ways.
Yet I’m still convinced and losing hope of finding another beautiful, intelligent and loving person as she was to love such a “broken and fucked up guy” like me.. my kind, loving heart is there, just caged in under thick walls of depressed and deep sadness, anger, fear and resentment.
I hope you all find the love and acceptance of yourselves from within ❤
I’m never one to comment on these things, but here we are.
This video was timed well, in that I’d recently been broken up with, and a lot of it rings true. I embraced the “it is what it is” mentally - I said it a couple times as my heart folded, as she apologised repeatedly and asked if I’m going be okay.
She was the first person that I can say I truly opened up to, which makes this all the more painful.
I know there’s nothing I could have done better, and that the outcome was an unfortunate inevitability, but she was also all I wanted so I was willing to delay it as long as I could.
This will change.
I’ve been told to be kind to myself so many times that it’s literally lost all meaning. Everything is difficult, and my short windows of sleep are interrupted by immediate thoughts of her. It feels all encompassing, like it’ll never end, or get better.
But it will.
I’ll keep telling myself that.
The human experience is collective, we’ve ALL been through this or some variant of this, at some point, this loss that feels all encompassing.
But I’ll be okay. And if I’m going to be okay, so too shall you.
I hope you read these words and see that I don’t know you, but I hope you find your happiness, and things will get better. Look for the small sparks, the glimmers of beauty, and don’t shut yourself away.
We can do this.
So happy to see you discussing Krishnamurti again! He's underrated IMO.
yeah just did... 5 years ago
This guy cooperated such a massive plan, this was all his master plan, now i truly see, such a madlad
it’s 5am ben jesus
you posted this the day i got broken up with. the timing is crazy
It's been 2 months, and I have just found out I'll be we'll both be starting the same job next year and will be spending the whole of next year together. I'm dreading seeing her
We’re really all going through it
I dated her for 2 months. I told her im looking for long term relationship, she does too, but after asking where she think this is heading. She only see us hanging out as friendship and she's unsure if she wants to have a relationship with me. She said we can hangout again and see where it goes. But i feel like I'm the only one excerting effort to keep it going. So i kinda take it as a rejection and stopped seeing her even if I wanted to.
I am trying to detach myself from her, but im finding it hard at times. I'm hoping to heal from my situation soon.
Timing is chef’s kiss 👨🏽🍳💋
the timing is crazy daisy
Though Ive been over it a while ago, this is still cool to hear
It takes a little more empathy and understanding to forgive yourself in these situations, and finding that there is no one to blame, not even yourself. In most cases circumstances just don't work out. It takes strength to fight these odds, and then even more to get over it all. Maybe through detachment we can finally see the bigger picture, and what its teaching us. Alas, the universe surprises you.
This channel is nice for rationalizing your emotions 😂
Yea I be spending a month of travelling with the ex I can’t seem to get over with (issa cool group sports thing), so thanks!!! 🤣
No but I am growing out of it little by little to be honest, and what’s been helping me the most lately is Letters to a young poet by Rainer Maria Rilke! I wonder if you’ve read it already Sisyphus, if not I bet you would absolutely love it ☺️ It’s my bedside book now and I’ve re-read it thrice already!!
I'm never recovering from her.
@@bipinmishra3973 it’s going to be difficult. It might not get better or easier for a good long while. I understand why you’d feel that way. Losing someone who means the world to you is really difficult. I know you can make it through this patch of pain. I believe in you
@@bipinmishra3973 i believe in you too, got dumped right when video came out, it's hard and heavy, but there's nothing i can do to change it, and if i can't change it then why should i care? I have new people to meet and time to spend with them and my friends
And so do you, you are much stronger than it looks, you will win
@@bipinmishra3973 time heals everything
i feel too young to hold on and im much too old to break free and run
Bro came in clutch
I just left my job because of a freak accident there, and I'm so so sad because I loved it so much. But in 5 days without it, I can see that I only loved like 5% of it, and it where some of the people that I met there, I hated the job per se. Even this 5% hurts, it hurts so much, I can't think of myself without it right now. I've dumped people and I've been dumped too, and it'll always hurt, and sometimes there isn't consolation or 'things will get better'. Sometimes things just suck forever.
the sheer timing of this video.
My ex and I had been separated for a year and a half and I thought I had gotten over her. We stayed friends though and literally this past week we reconnected even though she still had a boyfriend. This ended up with her admitting that she still loved me and that she missed me still and when this happened all of my feelings came back like they never left. It sucked because it was a mistake. We hugged one last time and she left. “Im sorry things worked out this way… but it was nice to see you” were her last words. It’s like she dumped me again even though we weren’t dating
Hey, man, how's It going? It seems to me she only now got her closure. Possibly an avoidant - anxious push and pull dynamic you guys had, can relate. Have you obtained closure though? You already know the relationship was a mistake and she seems to have finally moved on, when will you do the same?
its that time of the year! and i most certainly have fallen victim!
I haven't even been taken
Hell yeah cheers to that Brother
But what if I continue to get older and have no desire to be in a relationship?
Is the only conlusion that I am subconsciously still desiring companionship to avoid feeling alone?
Try as I might, even if I feel that I don't want a relationship, it *must* actually be the case that I do, even if its on a subconscious, "Freudian" level?
Got dumped about 6 months ago. Found out he is in a new relationship and I was wondering if he even still loves me. This has helped
Same. He literally got into a new relationship 1 week after our breakup. Ig they had been talking previously.
The timing is crazy! But thanks broo
Dumped on Friday, our designated date night. Feelsgoodman