I'm conflicted, sometimes I want someone and I got out and meet someone, but then after a few hours I miss my loniless and I feel sooo f-ing good for weeks
@blue69waffles Remember this comes from a guy that probably had way too many people around him at all times. Very different for people who have been loneley all their lives
I like how some of these tweets are laughing at men for being lonely, as if being lonely and isolated isn’t considered some of the worst torture that exists
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 caring what other people think of you is a sign of weakness. There’s no guide book on how to be a man or navigate life, if you let everyone who doesn’t care about you trip you up then you’ll never be happy.
@@mesadrums375 Not caring about what other people think of you is an unachievable trait. Don't get me wrong, one can get close to this: Not caring about peoples opinions you don't care about. But detaching from all people and only caring about yourself... this is an impossible thing to do, and probably quite the harmfull for one too. Right from birth until we die, we have been attached and reliant on other humans through all of human history. This is how we evolved and therefore this is how our biological chemistry is developed. Heck, there even exists a study that shows babies dying if you deprive them of this human connection. This seems rooted deep inside of each and everyone of us. Loving yourself is a good thing. But to have atleast a few people who you can trust or relate to is also very important. Further: Without feedback from others you will get stuck on personal development. So please, care about what other people think of you. But only choose those, who deserve it.
@@Icegloo24 I literally said that if you let everyone who doesn’t care about you trip you up, you’ll never be happy. You should care what your loved ones think, but if you’re striving to make some dummies on twitter happy you are weak and have your priorities wrong.
As a woman, Asmon is giving way too much credit to this female ideology. Nothing particularly bad has to happen to make a woman buy into this perspective. Simply hearing that men are bad often enough can make them believe that it's true. I have two sons and I worry for them.
no dont pray for your sons like this guy said, actualy be there fo them. tell them you love them. talk about these problems and make sure to show them that you care
@@nogardhd7700 Yes, all of that, which I'm sure she already does, considering her concern for her two sons, _and_ also praying. Because if that's what you believe in, what's the harm exactly? And how can one not do everything you said on top of praying?
As a 21 year old guy, I hate to say that your worry is warranted. But the best thing you can do is show your sons you love them and care about them. A big reason I'm still around today is because the thought of what my suicide would do to my mom absolutely destroys me. I could never do that to her. I know she's already had a hard life as is. Love really is the answer to the majority of the world's problems today. So love your sons.
I agree, it's also so funny to me how my sister and me were both growing up, we're just one year apart so it's relatively equal grounds. When i was 15 i was a shutin that hated society for a long time and nobody gave a shit about me and wether i existed or not, but my sister was 14 and constant dm's new friends and experiences simply cause she was female. I love my sister, i would kill for her, i would never want her to be lonely. But the contrast in living is crazy to me. Also to be honest my sister used to be very overweight at that time and not really much too look at for a long time, but i was considered good looking by a lot of people in my family etc. So even the looks didn't carry enough importance for anyone to give a shit. I grew out of that phase though and became far more charismatic and confident about my head and understanding about stuff. It's like the video said, you kind of become value'd as a man for the things you learn. As opposed to girls who mainly get judged on looks and after that the personality is part of the equation.
@1:06:00 As a male teacher in a primarily female space, I did not ask for the misandry I experience daily. I guess you can say I put myself there, trying to do better for my community, but yeah, I get it was my choice to interact with people who hate me for being a guy. My co-workers refer to me like an animal. They talk about how they are going to " train me to be a good husband and man" as if I couldn't possibly determine that information for myself. And as a male teacher I CANNOT interact with female students without being called a creep. They make up 50% of the classroom, but I CANNOT talk to them. I did five years ago, but after the almost annual report on me being a pedo, I just decided its safer to ignore that half of the classroom from a logistics standpoint. Misandry is real, and it does not feel good, like any other form of bigotry and prejudice. I think its demeaning to insinuate that guys ask for it, tbh.
Wow, that's absolutelly crazy. I have seen women like that too, and they are disgusting. Also, I have seen articles that talk about the importance of having male teachers at early age, not for any particular reason, it's just good for a child to have models of both men and women, yet you came across stuff like this...
I heard a story from a male Librarian, similar female dominated field. When he started work at a library he was the only Man working there, and the women kept making comments about how nice it would be to have a man around to do the heavy lifting. It was upsetting, because he went to school, got a master's degree, and became a librarian specifically to escape doing physical labor, but his female colleagues still thought of him as a grunt.
A big part of it is that men have no support and get no empathy or sympathy. Even in this video every time Asmon says something about what men go through he immediately cuts himself off with "It's worse for women" or "Well women go through this too". Men can't have any sort of help without being told what they're going through isn't that bad or someone else has it worse. We never dote on men. There's a reason why a lot of those AI videos, ASMRs or even what men pay OF girls to say is simply "I care about you, I love you". Because men aren't loved without being of use to something or someone. Men are also portrayed constantly as monsters or predators. Oh, a man is being nice and sympathetic to women, oh he's not kind or compassionate he just wants to fuck her. Oh women don't like men? It's men's fault. I'm sick of being told everything is our fault that we're responsibile for everything. Men aren't viewed as people we're looked at as tools.
the way I describe it is this. "it doesn't matter what your beliefs are, odds are you want men to be your disposable heroes, either explicitly or implicitly"
But neither do women. No one gets free support empathy etc... Men no less than women. And at least men have it easier in many ways. So men can either complain they get no support or grow up, face the outside world, make friends and then get some support.
@@jeffreychandler8418 Just pointing reality. You think women get support? No. They just toughen up. Expecting unconditionnal support is just being delusionnal/childish (for both men and women).
The best thing I ever did for myself was get a dog. No matter how crappy your family is (if you even have one), you know that dog is going to greet you happily each and every time you get home. The dog won't judge you, use you, or stab you in the back. It won't ditch you in the rough times, either. The dog depends on you for its very survival, but in exchange it'll have your back through thick and thin. The only downside to owning one is how fleeting their lives are compared to ours.
i think for the same reason a cat is a better companion, i love both, but the dog is smart enough to know it depends on you, and consequently it doesn't usually try to leave you a cat? it can survive on the street and it knows it, and it makes sure you know that, which is why it feels so special when you find a cat that seems to care for you on the same level a dog would, if the cat didn't like you, it would simply leave when it found the opportunity, and with how small and agile cats are? they will find plenty of chances to leave i've chosen to live with multiple of both
My dog is my best friend, we've been through hell and back together. Through eviction, changing states and jobs multiple times, and being at my absolute lowest, my boy Grimm has faithfully been beside me, helping me get through. Hes saved my life more times than I can count There are days I come home just done with it all, ready to just eat a fucking bullet, and there that happy bastard is, so full of love and excitement to see me, and I live another day. Point is, get a dog, Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally by someone.
to quote a meme from a few years ago: *_"Babylon wages war on Babylon, Babylon vanquishes the evil of Babylon, Babylon falls and Babylon rises, The wars aren't real but the genocides of your people are"_*
I have friends and family but still feel lonely sometimes. As a man, no one cares about my soul crushing loneliness. When I open up about it I usually get criticized and made fun of. So there’s few positives to me opening up emotionally. It sucks but all I can do is keep going.
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
Just know that you are not alone in the struggle. Lots of people have the same issue and for some, making fun of and mocking others is how they cope with their own issues. It sucks but it just takes time to chip away the wall.
My male friends/family don't make fun of me when I open up, only my female friends/family. My theory is they've been told their whole lives men have enormous privilege, so they think me complaining about life as a man is either hilariously pathetic, or like I'm trying to say women have it easy by comparison. Never open up to women, that's what your dad and buddies are for.
We were built to go out and conquer the world, succumbing to loneliness would be in direct contradiction to that goal. That's why we have social structures in place to make you feel bad for it. Get stronger or die out and let the more worthy carry humanity's torch forward. That's the idea.
You know shit's bad when Asmongold, from his throne of millions of streamerbux, says he wants to go back to being a kid and hanging out with his friends goofing off.
I mean hell, who wouldn't? You are absolved of most responsibility, you likely have other people to provide for you, you don't have to work 40+ hours of the week. School sucks but you're with friends so it's not that bad. Don't have to worry about taxes, politics, or any 'adult' shit. You have energy and enthusiasm out the ass because you're youthful in body and mind. Life almost exclusively gets worse for most people as they age.
Also Austin has gone to shit over the years. Back in the 90's and early 2000's our town was a lot more weird and fun. Now it's just another corporate town full of influencers.......ohh 😂
Money can buy happiness, but it always takes more and more money each time, and eventually happiness fades away. There's nothing like the joy of spending time with your bros.
One of my highschool friends accused two of her exes of raping her 4-6 years after the fact. She was adamant about the dates cause she wrote them in her diary the day of. It was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that neither of them were even in the country during the weeks leading up to and following the dates. Also, in college where one of my buddies got accused of raping a girl at a party, but he and i were out camping that weekend. I think you underestimate how often false reporting happens.
the problem is that its almost impossible to get a correct estimate of the number of false accusations compared with real cases of rape, because a staggering amount of cases of rape go unreported or can't be proved, so we can only look at the cases that were proved to be false accusations, and those are just a fraction of the fraction. so the data is all skewed, you can't look at all cases that didn't lead anywhere and extrapolate the number of real false accusations from it. meaning its more likely its actually overreported.
The people that turn to false reports and fake gr8pe stories have absolutelly no idea (or are psycho enough to not care) how much damage that can do to someone and not only that but they only make it harder to believe actual legit cases as a result. Back in highschool there was this chick absolutelly mad crazy about me. In the last year of highschool she texted me saying she had been crying the whole day because she was taken advantage of sexually by one guy she invited to her home while the parents were away. As I kept poking at the story to figure out what really happened suddenly it turns out it hadn't been just one guy but also another two that helped him do it... needless to say I was already not super convinced; As messed up as guys can be I doubt a whole trio of them would have agreed to do something like that to a non-consenting teenage chick at her place. At school the next day(s) she seemed as normal as she had always been, there was no talk of police or such a case happening in town (it would have been town gossip for sure), she didn't go to the principals office or anything, plain same old chick. Bottom line to that whole ordeal is even though I'm quite convinced it was just one of her antics to try and get sympathy, affection or attention from me I cannot say for sure 100% that it didn't happen. And that memory of the incident comes back to my head every now and then and seriously messes with my mental health; It's like "should I have done this, should I have done that, should I have believed her, did she go on to live a miserable life after highschool because I wasn't there for her?, Maybe I ran the risk of her comitting self delete and neglected that by not helping out"... All that shit can break someone, and the incident described was about 15 years ago and still it messes with me. Nowadays I find it extremelly hard to believe the overwhelming majority of accusations and cases as a result (Women nowadays are also much wilder than back then so I don't blame anyone for trying to distance themselves from matters like these). It's a good thing that I don't automatically believe accusers but it shouldn't have to be this way and it's only hurting actual victims.
33:40 Let's be honest with ourselves here, Asmon. If a man were to tweet even half of this stuff, going the opposite direction, they'd have disciplinary actions taken against their account.
asmond just white knighted this whole video ... any time she spoke about what men are going through hes sat tjhere screaming but women but women .. screams pick me
@Ed-wu1xy that's not being honest at all. Honesty is ... probably not, in terms of disciplinary actions, given what actually gets posted on Twitter on a regular basis without repercussions.
the only honest thing we can say about what is or is not allowed to be said online is.... those types of conversation would NEVER happen if all those people were in the same room. Certainly amongst men, one of us in this thread gets smacked in the mouth for not only adding nothing, but being a cvnt while being useless. But yes Ed.... I do think more of what is said online needs to be able to drift away. But to me any disciplinary actions taken by a company are ultimately pointless and pretty unhelpful when it comes to having an impact on making people consider their own words and thoughts. Consider 'The Village Idiot'.... we made the world into a village... and now, because we all live in the World Village... there is nowhere for the Village Idiot to go... to remake his life, rebuild himself... there is no redemption if someone loud enough chooses to make an issue of you. There is no way to simultaniously allow for anyone to say anything AND grow and leave those words behind as you remake your thoughts to fit new understandings/information As a man... here is an unpopular opinion. We have lost something when the looming threat of violence is removed. A line of decency, contribution, capability... there are now so many lines that are removed because there are no real consequences to saying dumb shit. Everyone's An Expert(Letterkenny hhahahahaha)... Being A Shitheel... Making Loud Noises. All the real barriers to becoming part of important conversations have been removed. And now All of our thoughts are available Anytime, Anywhere.... forever... even if you later learn that you had no idea what you were talking about.... there is no New Place for someone to go and try to sharpen their new thoughts. It is still Here, on the internet.... and for some people it is just easier to withdraw, or dig in... rather than admit that the You of Yesterday was a fkn idiot.
My life pre 21 all I wanted was a relationship. Now at 24 I decided to completely give up because I don't see it being worth the effort. This also leads to my family constantly asking why I don't date and wondering if I'm gay which just sucks.
Happiness is innate, it has to start with you. If you meet that one in a billion girl, fantastic. But there is no law that says you need a woman to be happy in life.
My personal concern is that I have become very comfortable by myself, and have developed some bad habits as a result, but I haven't lost the feeling of loneliness. I worry that I may be too far gone at this point.
I felt the same, but now that I work in the customer service field I have made female friends and talk to pretty women everyday, you can reverse it by exposing yourself to uncomfortable socialization. Talking to my coworkers or friends about their relationships have made me aware that most people have unnusual unique problems in life, no matter how strange you feel there are plenty of people that are barely acting what is consider normal as well, dont try crack but maybe marijuana, mushrooms, or lsd. It made me more humble and self loving while also encouraging me to make a change to become the person I want to be, so far Ive only lost weight but I've also gotten 50-100% better at talking to people, and empathizing with them.
You always have a chance man, that "confort" is incredibly numbing but once you get to a certain point you actually get tired of being tired, so for me look for that discomfort
I feel like I have had 2 of my worlds collide with this video, but as an adult man I have no close friends and no support in helping not be lonely. I basically get attacked online anytime I share this.
You are not alone, by far not. The other's just had the same experience and stopped sharing online as well. Try looking in places where you would hide from the world, and you might find some new friends.
Im 40 and i kept 2 friends, the rest can F off with their social media fomo, i live in a bubble and im happy there. What saves me is my now wife, without her id def feel lonely so...i would suggest trying to find someone, hard as it may be, because without someone to support you after everydaylife took you for a spin the entire day, it sure helps. Oh im introverted, so i tried finding someone who was also that and its a must. My ex was a social media clout addict and F me i got tired of it...
do you have anything you like doing? I did after hours sculpting classes and kept a whole group of friends out of it, same place had photography and editing classes too. i 100% feel your sentiment but its important to understand that meeting people in life is an active thing, its not something that happens to you (after high school).
"It's all your fault, but you're the only one who can get you out of it" vs "it's all your fault and you need to appease braindead leftists to get you out of it, now vote for my guy"
Let's face it Asmon: You are a talker, you are charismatic, you are very literate and the list goes on. You are one of the few that made millions with talking and entertaining. No wonder it's easy for a guy like you to talk to ppl and find stuff to talk about and make connections. That is literally your passion and profession and you are extremely good at it. Making spontanious talking points and create common ground is what you do aaaall the time. I just don't think you can relate to someone that thinks "it's hard to make friends as a man" when you are a role model on how to do it.
I mean... he's been a degen for decades living in filth and spending all his time playing games. Just because he's in a different position now than in the past doesn't mean he can't speak on past experiences.
@@NiSE_Rafter That is true, but when you spend some time in a higher place than you were before you tend to forget how hard it was. I agree with the original commenter, that Asmon isn't really able to speak from an unbiased frame of reference, but it's more complicated than that.
Its like asking to pro gamers how to balance a game. Horrible idea, they are so good at the game they would even be good with a broken controller hahaha horrible standard for the average player to compare to
He's a good example on exactly why this whole "issue" is not an issue at all and merely society being free to choose who they want to hang out with. He's a borderline degen who never leaves his house and still has friends. What's anyone else's excuse? If you legitimately have no friends after all the years at primary school, high school, college (if you went) and coworkers, and the whole time have been struggling to be in a relationship... Then there's a very good chance that you are the problem, not everyone else. It's not hard to "make friends as a man", what a ridiculous statement. Most males have mostly male friends anyways, so that wouldn't be on women regardless, yet for some reason incels turn this into a gendered conversation and somehow find blame in women for this "problem". How no one isn't seeing the Elliot Rodger mentality vibes is beyond me. It's the exact same logic. Boo hoo, no one wants to hang out with me and girls don't want to date me. As if anyone were entitled to either of those things in the first place. So if males aren't the problem here then who is? (which is the implication since not one person is claiming more men should be friends with these rejects, they act like only women are supposed to be this compassionate). There isn't much of an alternative guess since there's only two genders. Obviously women would be the implied problem in this "issue" no one is putting the responsibility on the men themselves who claim everyone else is the problem. No one is outright saying how come men aren't supporting other men by being friends with these dudes who claim they have no friends... So that gives a pretty telling impression as to where this is leading. The whole problem being titled "have we failed men" should have been enough of a clue. Who's we exactly? When no one, male or not, is entitled to be friends with anyone who doesn't want to be their friend.. and males being friends with males is more common in the first place. Yet men are the victims and never the problem with statements like this. Men have the privilege of knowing their friends aren't only being friends with them because they want to get laid in the future. The only men who generally need to actually worry about being used by their friends are rich and/or famous males. Whereas females have to worry about this throughout their entire lives for no reason other than just being born into the body they were born into. The vast majority of people have friends and have had partners. You don't need Asmon to be a role model for doing something completely normal. The reality is, he's not even setting a good example for people who want more friends. The guy never leaves his house and plays video games all day. That's not a good model to be following if not having friends or relationships IRL is your problem. If anything, normal males being roped into thinking that's acceptable behavior a partner should think is reasonable in a relationship makes it an even worse model to follow. They're going to be very disappointed when they get into the real world and get slapped with the realization that they don't have the charisma to make a living playing video games for a living, and they actually need to put effort into sustaining friendship/relationships. These "tough lessons" used to just be common sense. Now people whine about it and expect sympathy for problems they solely created for themselves. Asmon doesn't act like that, he doesn't blame women for him being single etc. Asmon has created a life for himself where he is perfectly happy being single, never leaving home, and living off the worst grade 1/4 inch steaks while throwing another pop can onto the pile he rarely cleans...and the average guy needs to realize that lifestyle isn't going to work for 99% of them, especially if you're someone who gets lonely. Asmon isn't someone who has these issues because he isn't the kind of person who has a problem being alone with himself. Nor does he think he's entitled to a relationship with a woman who puts up with that lifestyle. That's the only problem that I'm seeing here, is entitlement and controlling others. Not "loneliness" No one owes anyone friendship, so therefore someone not having friends is not some kind of "solvable" problem in society. The only problem arises when they reach the level of entitlement where they start lashing out at everyone around them because of their own shortcomings. Or worse go on an Elliot Rodger rampage.
Dude, men SIMP to women online, not harass. Any COD player who is nasty to a girl online is likely equally nasty to male players online. But the majority of women online are getting all the token simping.
Tbf being independent and an introvert is not keeping you from making friends or what makes you a „loner creep“. Its because you’re not interacting with society. Introverts can be friends and friendships don’t induce any kind of dependence, friendship is usually a win-win situation.
I’m married, but still independent (as is she, because we respect each other and even though we are married, we acknowledge that we are still individuals within the marriage), and I’m fairly introverted for the most part. Don’t think I’ve ever been labeled a loner creep. Could be because when I am around other people I still make an effort to be friendly
@@Fantaztig Yeah I agree, I have a couple close friends but I don't really care for superficial friendships. My point was that the media tends to worry about nothing, like taking a liking to being alone shouldn't be critisized AT ALL, you enjoy what you enjoy and people should respect that.
@@hitthegoatOh man. I really hope you just poorly articulated that and are mistaking personal space for independence. If not you subscribed to some real feminist BS if you believe yourself or your partner to be independent. That sort of mindset eventually gets you cucked, replaced or divorced.
"When any group has a problem, we ask what we can change in society to fix it. When men have a problem, wo wonder what they can do to fix themselves." It's really interesting that men broadly are about the only group that gets regularly dismissed to just go and fix their own problems. Meanwhile, a lot of times when there is a women issue the same people will start yelling how men have to get better and help women.
@@jaybee4288 All this depends on what we consider to be "issues". There's one end where people say women have a harder time getting into the work force; whilst at the same time there is a lower rate of women applying for jobs (thus the total % of men with jobs compared to women is higher), the fix for this on a social point? It would be to say that work places don't hire enough women, and due to there being less women in the workforce, they should get paid more (regardless of experience). Then there's men and their loneliness. This looks like much more of a personal thing, "deal with it yourself" a lot of the time would be the knee jerk response (and it's not entirely wrong); if someone is dealing with something personally, they should do something to change it; especially if it's in their control... But! There is that factor were men simply don't feel comfortable putting themselves out there in a world that judges them constantly (women get judged constantly too; but let's focus on men for this section), this judgment makes them feel like if they put themselves out there, they now have to deal with the idea of whomever they approach accusing them of sexual harassment (and a number of other things too). It's all very complex right? The huge issue I have with how most people approach this conversating is that if you're a guy, you're probably going to go, "I don't trust women, so I don't want to associate", and if you're a woman you might say, "but how is that my problem, they should deal with it themselves since they're so capable". There's an immediate barrier put up, and both sides don't really want to help the other (but some men and women will consider what the other side is saying; but going the extra mile takes a lot of TIME and EFFORT)... Time and effort is valuable, SO it's why we keep seeing the same "issues" come up.
@@jaybee4288 Rather than try and fix it, why don't you just get out of the way? Don't do things. Don't shame a guy if he wants to play videogames all day, don't shame guys who don't want to climb the corporate ladder etc. Just live and let live when it comes to men and stop resorting to shaming language. I don't want women's help, I just want you to stop expecting help from me and get out of my way when it comes to my goals. Also, fix your own issues. You aren't entitled to men helping you with yours. In fact, that's what you can do, address your own issues and allow men the time and latitude to address their own. Don't badger us to help with your issues or blame all of us for your issues. I know you'll bring up SA, but that is a fraction of men who do that and quite frankly, I have no incentive to help you with that and would rather we just stay out of one anothers way.
@@jaybee4288 one thing that women could do is stop forcing everything to be coed. There used to be men's clubs and male only spaces until women found it unacceptable. Men need a place to be men. Bring back mentorships and apprenticeships so men can learn from action. But none of that's gonna happen cause women get so offended when they aren't the center of everything
"fix your own problems" is valid on an individual level, the point of this video is that a large percentage of the population has the same issues, and there's not really a solution
Well, yeah, life is hard, you have to find the right people in your life that won't try to use it against you. Not all people will have good intentions, no shit.
I absolutely disagree. If you don't allow yourself to show your vulnerability all you do is put on a mask, not address the issue. Thats how depression gets worse and suicide numbers spike.
You can dismiss a lot of this if your stance is 'some men hate women, some women hate men'. But it isn't this simple. There are 4 key distinctions: - Women hating men is socially acceptable, supported by celebrities, legislation, company/employment policy and any avenue that isn't SPECIFICALLY pro-male. - Women hating men is being socially programmed into them by the above stakeholders, starting from as young as school age, programming them to resent men for a history that they played no part in, and a history that is really quite significantly misrepresented. - Men openly hating women is significantly less common and is not socially acceptable at all. Infact, if you uttered a negative sentiment towards a woman professionally, you'd be disciplinaried/fired. Whereas due to this social double-standard a woman could professional disparage men and not face any repercussions at all. - Men are mainly hating women now because women hate them. I.e. Women hate men for some convulented historic reason, men hate women because women RIGHT NOW hate men.
I don't know if this is nature or nurture, but I've always felt uncomfortable sharing my emotions because it feels too much like shifting my burdens onto someone else - and that just makes me feel worse.
I empathize, but bottling it up forever WILL drive you mad. I do it, and I still feel guilty every time but I also remembering the soul crushing feeling of suffering in silence for decades.
It's definitely a nurture thing. I think most of the male experience is conditioned into us. Also what you described is Stoicism, it's a means in which you try to conquer your emotions yourself so that you can allow an environment for your loved ones to thrive in, because if the leader in that situation can't keep it together, then the rest of the household can't. At least on paper that's what stoicism is about, and a lot of men are conditioned to be that way. And even if you aren't conditioned by parents, you might develop from environment because other guys are like that and its likely you adopt habits that you see around you. "Birds of a feather flock together" as they say, if you're around men who live like this, you may become just like them.
Two people will have an easier time to carry the load, and possibly get it to where it need be faster. Of course if you carry it alone. It could build strength and character or whatever... but it also could break your back. As long as you're willing to reciprocate, no reason to feel worse about sharing I feel like it's a nurture thing. I'm a skinny guys, I have to ask for help fairly often, especially when it comes to lifting heavy things
Im in my 30s. I want peace not another person nagging me about what would make her happy. Im just trying to pay my mortgage and be there for the people who have proven to be a positive part of my life.
It does seem harder to make friends sometimes. I can live without romance and the sort, but having someone to talk to regularly feels like its asking for too much at times. You can be friendly with people and start up conversations but then that leads no where, and thats without being too pushy or desperate. Sometimes it seems like some people dont even reciprocate the kindness if you arent at a certain level for them to justify talking back to you. Idk, maybe theres more to it, but it does feel shitty sometimes having no real connections with people.
They’re are many ways that prevents good conversations which are distraction/work if you have production you have to keep up. Not asking question, not a lot people do that. People usually say something funny or a statement but you don’t know how the other person would respond or understand. Safe way for them is to react with a fake laugh and move on. Not greeting each other. Not having the same goals.
@@Maknorr-v8w Sometimes even asking questions gets negative reactions (but maybe thats just cause of the people Im around) I tend to like learning about stuff so asking questions seems like a simple way to show interest but my interactions tend to have people thinking like im an idiot. So getting enough of that interaction is like, "Yah idk, i think ill stick to myself from now on"
It's safe to assume that you could always improve something about your conversational ability but I keep seeing more and more about how perceived status leads to social acceptance. Look at the difference between the janitor at work talking to you and your bosses bosses boss. Guarantee people chuckle at the second guys jokes way more
You need to put in the effort to establish a friend group, I have a solid friend group because it was built on years of dialogue. Not one-off conversations. Like I'll give you an example, if I was to build a new friend group. The first thing is to have small talks as you have stated. But after that is the time to build a stronger foundation. Make sure after the small talk ask for a number or any social media so you can communicate about small things outside of work or where u met up. Then you can invite them to do things or they can invite you to do things. Like gaming or sports, etc. Sometimes they won't be interested, and that's fine. That doesn't mean they aren't interested in being friends it just means they have something else that interests them. You need to put in effort. Sometimes, you click with someone in 1 out of 10 people. But try not to make that the norm cause you won't always get that result. I hope I'm making sense, I'm typing this at 1 a.m., and I need to get up at 5 a.m. for work 😂
@@vashe9 While porn is bad, incest in particular is way worse and imo i'd stay away from that even if you are watching porn. That has to be damaging to some degree to watch. Even the step-bro stuff is probably pushing it honestly
It'll always be insane to me how people blame their poor partner decisions on anyone but themselves, then proceed to do their absolute best effort to contribute to the problem.
I'm guilty of this. Whether it happened to me or someone else I have a terrible habit of lumping a person who did something terrible into the demographic they associate with. I need to make a more concerted effort to tell myself that there are still people who don't fall into, and steer clear of, stereotypes.
@@madpinoy5683what he's saying is that no one else is to blame for the relationships you choose. You can't even blame your partner because you allow the behavior. It's narcissistic if you're always playing the victim. If you are consistently going for people who aren't interested in you, people who cheat on you, people who use you for validation etc then you need to take responsibility for the relationships you get into that are not healthy. He's saying take responsibility for the partners you choose
Years ago people could realistically expect to at some stage be able to afford a house and a family but it all now feels unattainable so there’s no wonder men are becoming depressed especially these days when we’re labelled as monsters for the select few morons
Government print so much money nowdays that everything gets super expensive. If you don't own anything, you are screwed because you only get money from wages and when government print so much money it's like getting paid a lot less. It's a very sad life...
Lacking purpose is scary, do what you love and love what you're doing and it will love you back. Think about what you love to do the most and how that can be translated into a productive thing, such as art or gunsmithing.. The purpose is to love, love each other, love what you do, love your spouse, and love your children. Love is the greatest commandment.
A soda is far from an energy drink. energy drinks contain harmful ingredients that can and will cause issues, where as the unhealthy ingredients in Sodas is sugar and caffeine . sure neither is great but energy drinks are way more harmful. Sodas in moderation aren't going to give you a heart attack
I'm not sure what dr pepper tastes like, but if it's like any other cola sodas, then makes sense. Energy drinks have a specific taste that you hate at first then you ease into liking it and then it becomes even better than soda. An infant can drink Coke and like it, but no everyone is gonna like the taste of energy drinks.
@@MamadNobariwhat makes energy drinks and colas bad is the corn syrup used in them. I really don’t think it’s fair to say “energy drinks are bad” while drinking a soda. they are equally as bad, but like most things, are okay in moderation.
@@RealTonyMontana I thought he said he didn't like the taste? Obviously, anything other than wata is bad. But taste-wise, energy drinks are harder to get used to than soda.
I would consider myself lonely but I've learned to find hobbies that I enjoy, and through those hobbies was able to make friends and meet new people to combat the loneliness which I encourage because its pushes you to become a better version of yourself. Doing this also helped maintain a healthier state of well being, especially in these times it's EXTREMELY important with how depressed and unmotivated us men have gotten now. I use to date, but dating is a shitshow with how things are and everyone being selfish and self sabotaging their own relationships without self reflection or without understanding what a healthy relationship looks like. Only some of the many reasons why I've checked out of the dating market and have been happier since, along with the rest of the men who have also come to the realization, which is sad. There is so much narcissism, and materialism with so many people. I'm 28 it's actually mind boggling how far its gone. Find purpose and keep moving forward and do your best in these times, support each other whenever you can but don't don't forget to take care of yourself .
i've learned to make female friends by being myself and not be needlessly annoying/controversial unless its the appropriate mood or time to do so. Female friends are cool cause I can ask them questions and get used to talking to women while also being my weird embarrassing self. I used to struggle to talk to women a lot when I was in highschool and the 3 years after because I never got out adn talked to strangers, but now I work in fast food and it has actually increased my confidence a bunch because I talk to pretty women everyday and dont feel very much fear or anxiety and actually seem to be appreciated and liked by the female customers/employees.
Most guys don’t realize they may just be 20% off of being an attractive prospect not 500% off. Being in a relationship can be lonelier too it’s not the whole solution. Also being in a long term relationship is a mind boggling prospect.. it’s better to be happy day to day interacting with people getting to know yourself
As a philosophy. Stoicism has been a life saver. Don't get me wrong. It may seem self harming, as some sort of "toxic masculinity". But now that I know what I am expected to be. What society expects from me. Now that I know that I am the only one who has my own back. I invested in my self. HEAVILY. Got positive hobbies. Gave up on women being feminine or respecting themselves and the need of cooperation. I am happier. Healthier. Sure. Lonelier. But I stuck my head out of the sand. The truth is brutal. But atleast I am getting my shit together.
The reason why that RDR2 channel kept attacking the suffragettes was because the media attacked him first. He'd do anything and everything in RDR2 before but when he killed the suffragette he had all of these hit pieces written against him by game journos. So in retaliation he kept doing it
Most women are looking for alpha males and like being treated a bit more harshly. Men who ask for permission before kissing them seem pathetic to them. However, if the person doing these things is not handsome, it is considered harassment. Some unattractive but confident men are labeled as rapists. Either the same rules should apply to everyone or no one should be labeled as a harasser.
Loneliness seems to just be getting higher for the male side of the human race. Been lonely my whole life (already neglect on the social aspect) and every single time I speak up about anything I struggle with: ignored, attacks and/or neglected entirely. Even was left by love interests when I had a SINGLE problem come up that was tearing away at me mentally! Pretty much closed off so much that there isn't even a key for the locked door. How can anyone expect someone to always be there for them but never need anyone to help through their own issues? Can only fight for so long mentally and quite honestly, longer than a decade fighting is too long. Especially when more keeps piling on the weight of it all.
Im sorry for your unhappiness @fenyxclips. I get how we arent allowed to have mental health issues ie stressed, worried, pissed without your partner getting annoyed yet you will be there for them unquestioning. I dont know the answer but i feel for you as i saw a bit of my experiences in your comment. Best wishes
Only thing you can really do safely is see a social worker or a psychiatrist about the issues. Women as a rule do not actually want you to "show emotion/open up" in the plain sense. Stoicism is strength. What they mean by "show emotion/open up" is to listen to them and "understand them on an emotional level".
Your loneliness is valid, your sadness is valid, what you're feeling is valid. Everyone gets sad and lonely, not everyone will be like your past partner you'll find someone better that will be there for you. For the mean time it's okay not to be okay. Endure and enjoy your journey as you rebuild or find yourself and someone that will be there for you. If you want someone to blame, blame the past generations on making society this way, if you want to be mad be mad at the ones telling you not to feel, be mad at those conservative scums. I've gone through what you're going through, and found the conclusion that the past is the problem, this alpha male stoic shitheads makes the world into a living hell, where you strive for dominance inching your life away.
@@fidelramen5202Frankly speaking, feminism and men who bothered to listen _too_ much. It's hard for there to be understanding from both sides when we practically speak two different languages. Men are more likely to take things literally and at face value but women want you to be able to "read between the lines" and figure out what they really mean. Add a side of 'people don't know what they _really_ want' and it's a terrible mix of bad communication all around.
I’m a 37 yo man who has fought with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 12. When I was active-duty, I used my alt channel to discuss my mental health history in an effort to normalize it and though I’m out now, I’ve thought a lot recently about discussing these topics again. Although the young men today are living in a *markedly* different world than what *I* lived through as a younger man, lonesomeness hasn’t aged a day. It even brought a friend: synchronized, conspicuous contempt-until we kill ourselves in record numbers year after year. Then, the media suddenly cares.
here for you brother i'd definitely love talking with ya about our problems because I definitely struggle with that still to this day even though im in a much better place than I was when i was in active duty as well ! just a POG but got worked like a slave till my body fell apart then they gave me the boot lol XD
55:50 I worked in HVAC for a decade and I am now a programmer. I can tell you 2 things for sure. 1) AI is not going to take over programmer's jobs this decade. It's only going to be a tool to help them work faster. 2) Construction work destroys your body over time, and doesn't pay the six figures everyone says for the vast majority of plumbers. I'm not saying become a programmer and don't go into construction. I'm saying there are trade-offs and you should not just blindly trust what the internet is saying about job industries. It's usually spoken by people outside of the industry who have no clue what they're talking about.
Exactly. The industry for Trades needs bodies, but they're only now upping pay in my area. The time dedicated to trades is heavy and many places require you to be on call.
The biggest problem is that people seem to despise the very concept of men recieving help of any kind. Like male support networks are some of the most hated groups for like no reason. Think about how many people hate gamers simply because it's a male dominated hobby
I agree with Asmond on most points he’s made here, but as I am listening to this for some reason an African proverb comes to mind: “The child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel the warmth.” I’m sure it’s obvious but I applied this to the topic where, boys/men are the child and society/media the village. There’s so much to say on this topic, but Im not in the mood to write an essay. Best of luck to everyone out there.
Some say that's the point to drive men to revolution
Рік тому+1
@@stormjones725, but what would be the point of that? Anyone who has the power and resources to orchestrate such a plan could just as easily just implement the changes they'd like to see in society.
@ChristerSvanstrom our constitution restrains them. To make major changes to the constitution you have to have (I'm blanking on the name) a meeting with all the states and it has to meet a high threshold to pass. If revolution brakes out it gives them the chance to throw out the constitution by forming a new goverment. At the same time taking down the numbers of opposition because they die in the war.
@@stormjones725 It certainly wouldn't be the first time in history, in even the past 100 years, that a popular revolution was secretly orchestrated by the elite with an authoritarian result.
24:00 ah and that is the true lesson on current politics. The conservative side is actually more liberal than the liberal side. Fight me on this, I dare you.
@@fioreferrari9239its majority restricted to ugly people or men, the reason for that is pretty simple and the easiest way to explain that is to be a female on tinder compared to a man.
2008 is about the time social media, and the internet in general, really took off and now it's been long enough that an entire generation of people have basically grown up on it. If they look at female depression rates, you see a very similar pattern across that same period of time to the one about male virginity. Those three things correlating with each other is not "just a coincidence."
Yeah agreed. There were some experiments before that were ok but not that popular like myspace or skype or ... forgot the other green thingy whatever, but around that time is when Facebook really became a household name and EVERYONE had it and I remember in highschool you were very strange if you did not have an account. There were attempts of social media before that but they never reached the level facebook did and the rest is history.
@@endefisto123its funny how myspace was creative open with freedom and expression. Meanwhile facebook is and was just a scroll boring robot. People get told and taught to prefer facebook. My space was definately more interesting and fun. Like designing your iwn room webpage n stuff. So i thing face books designed helped perpetuate alot of issues and views. I tefuse to use social media. It really messes with you
100%. I’ll be honest, even UA-cam is complicit. I’d be a lot happier if I weren’t addicted to having content shoved into my face. I’ll probably snap one day and go full monk retreat to detox.
To me, the Jordan Peterson approach of cleaning your room and cleaning your life is what worked the best. Clean your environment, clean your body, clothes, etc. Get a hobby you like work on that hobby, get to know people with similar hobbies or interests, improve yourself bit by bit, step by step. Aim for something small, then once you achieved it aim for something a bit bigger, then repeat. It will improve your life a lot to have goals, hobbies and interests and work for/toward them.
@@helmholtzthemulewatson4763 yes, but Jordan Peterson's target audience isnt normal people lol. and if normal people were willing to help those kind of men, then people like Jordan Peterson wouldnt exist. its a societal abandonment of those men.
Is get angry or break down in tears if someone disagrees with you one of the things you take from him? Peterson has had some very good points but also at the same time has some crappy takes which he defends with vagueness and psuedointellectualism. He is a good clinical psychologist but he is also a weak man preaching about strength and stoicism.
@@nathanthom8176Jordan Peterson is imperfect and I don’t think that should be surprising to anyone. People that just naturally and effortlessly find contentment in life probably don’t spend much time thinking about and writing self help books that resonate with millions of troubled young men. But like you said, he makes some very good points. And I don’t know why you feel the need to crap on someone’s experience when they’ve found something that works for them.
This one certainly hits home. I've had no IRL friends for as long as I've been alive. People thought I was ugly, I was awkard, and I was treated like an outcast by everyone in my early days. Now I'm in my mid to late 20's, and the isolation and solitude follow me on. Society points at people like me, and they call us "Basement dwelling losers." They make a mockery of who I am. They don't see that I am the person with a successful career, who regularily gets out to experience the world, who struggles to form any meaningful connections with anyone he meets. We're not basement dwelling losers. We're the people you wouldn't give a second glance to. I refuse to re-integrate into a society that hates the person I am, and seeks to take advantage of me with every turn I make.
If you are different than the people in your area, you should look elsewhere. Maybe you are just not made for your local culture, but you'd be very welcome somewhere else.
dude I'm a 31 yo single veteran. I don't have a single stress in my life that you described, and I've gone all hikikomori. It's not the life stressors, it's society and it's stupidity that makes us withdraw from it.
With all do respect to your service, I believe that social interaction is important for mental stability. Having served and seen things that could have caused trauma your psychology may have already developed techniques to protect yourself from the negative effects of social trauma? And as such isolation is not as negatively impactful? I am not a psychologist of course but it is an interesting theory
@@SneccTheSnake healthy interaction is beneficial, toxicity is not. If the society is being this way, then it’s absolutely the right thing to withdraw from it.
@@electro7762 I agree with the sentiment, but you actually do need some level of social interaction to not go completely fucking nuts. I'm not saying it needs to even come from relationships, but the guy is saying he's going into full isolation now hikikomori style. That's not something you should do.
dude im a veteran too im 27 and I feel exactly the same... Yeah I interact with people here and there BUT for the most part I don't care because I can't stand all the drama and the BS that comes with society... id rather be alone than dealing with the BS I have in the past .. I found peace after getting out of the army even had a gf and she helped me refocus on my faith sadly it didnt work out but im in a significantly better place mentally than I was 5 years ago.. the army literally drained me as I'm sure the military drained you as well.. mentally and physically
32 and single. I've had 3 long term relationship, and I know I'm not perfect, but all three of them started becoming incredibly toxic and cruel towards the end of the relationships. All they care about is comparing your relationship to other peoples relationships or ridiculous ones they see online or FB, where no one posts the bad stuff they deal with. I've just become apathetic about dating. It sucks. Not to sound cocky, but I'm above average looking imho. Maybe not a 9 or 10, but definitely above average. I make decent money, have my own car, a decent place. Its like you need to be making an insane amount of money and need to be a 9 or 10 for women to actually want it to work these days. I could probably "hook up" with some women, but I have zero interest in that. Plus, I'm not big on hanging out at bars or using dating apps.
Women love to compare with other women, and that often makes them consider their man to be an Accessoire they can show around to boast among their friends. They do that because they feel inadequate, because the world keeps telling them that they are not perfect if they haven't done x, y, and z. And eventually they start to believe that. The only cure is to stay away from social media as far as possible.
you hit the nail on the head man, it's not that men aren't trying to not be lonely, it's that even when they succeed they're realizing their "achievement" of having a gf is not as great as they thought it would be, and that's the thing that truly makes you feel alone, is when you realize nobody really cares about you. That's also the difference between now and the past. I feel like women from previous generation put a lot more effort into the relationships previously, like made the man feel desired and like there was real love and connection there, like she was actually attracted. Nowadays finding a woman who's falling over for you, aka having real passion in the relationship is basically impossible unless you're a gazillionaire or famous, and even then, i bet those guys realize that the only reason they're getting women who show real desire for them is because of their money/fame and not because of who they are.
Im 33 and have been with to many women in my life, been there done that, married had threesomes, married in a threesome all the sh it ive dont. And im sorry to break to that AWALT. Relationship between a men and a women its a parasitic relationship, where you has a host have to aways keep getting better and stronger so the parasite have her ever increasing demanding of "nutrients" fill. You need to look at women the same way they see you a tool to achive something, in their case a set of moistured holes.
@@ArantyrDarkhand Yeah, nah. That's stupid "eye for and eye" bullshit that's only gonna dig us deeper. Let's not start dehumanizing and instead try and do the opposite instead, ye?
To me, modern society has been very harsh for men. We have to walk a very fine line to not only be attractive & make friends, yet also be strong enough not to have those things. These demands are exhausting. & often contradictory. You have to be strong, yet sensitive. Aggressive, yet use a light touch. Have standards, yet not be so judgmental. Be able to talk to women, yet be a good listener. Be self-sufficient, yet willing to help others. Be rich, yet willing to spend for your partner. Be edgy, yet down to earth. It’s exhausting. Especially for the younger generation who will from now on experience less & less IRL interactions than previous generations. At some point, these men can only take so much rejection. Which makes loneliness both an opiate & a depressant that recycles itself day after day. The expectations for the modern man appears only achievable by the most talented & luckiest among us. & even if one does conquer that mountain, there’s no guarantee of friends or a compatible partner. Why? (Insert any criticism of a man here) is why.
You have to be very lucky in your genes regarding mental illness and attractiveness and ohh… don’t dare to have any kind of trauma or not be confident.
Man, you have no idea how it felt all my women friend telling me about the social pressure of being a woman and not being allowed to talk just because I am a man and I have it on "easy mode".
I think the answer isn't obvious to most people. In some part at least, the causative agent is patriarchal norms and toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity causes issues like these cultural norms you have mentioned, where men are expected to suppress their emotions, appear strong and dominant, reject traits associated with "femininity". The pressure to conform to these norms can be exhausting, and may not reflect how we truly feel. I think those who advocate for a transition away from these things are going to help alleviate the suffering that men face
I'll be honest, if we take out your last two points and change talking to women to talking to people in general, your criteria just seems like the qualities of a normal decent person.
@@briotous8317 you ignore biology. More testosterone literally postpones such a thing as crying. Human males are supposed to be strong and dominant if they wanna breed and have success. The solution for men isn't to just be like women, unless of course it makes an individual man happy, but that doesn't say something about the general population. Note also how in non-Western countries most men just breed anyway and aren't showering emotion talk.
The internet absolutely ruined everything. I used to be sociable but then I attended high school online from grades 10-12 and completed my bachelor's online and now work remotely. No friends, no romantic experiences. Just video games.
My best friend was largely homeschooled, I was basically his only real life friend. He joined the military which traumatized him about human interaction, became a hermit from the gubbamint money and stopped being alive at 28 (heart attack) For me it's the other way around. I was CRIPPLINGLY shy as a child and young teen, but the more I interacted with people on the internet the more confidence I gained in real life. Everyone is different, and every different person has to contend with different circumstances. The internet didn't ruin anything, it just exacerbated already developing problems into full blown crises. It also gave access to the wealth of human knowledge to basically everyone.
And here I am demonstrating that, I forgot a "him". One could probably make a moderately profound point about me forgetting "him", but let's not go overboard here - my fingers are just too slow for my average IQ brain to keep up.
This ladies and gentlemen is exactly why you should avoid Twitter! 9 out 10 comments you see on that platform is either someone being negative about a situation or talking trash about other's.
22:00 I can confirm that porn isn't the main reason. I agree that porn skews your views toward the higher end of what women CAN look like without makeup, but I remember the 90s. Somewhere between a third and half the women I'd meet in my little hodunk home town didn't wear makeup. Straight up, they would roll out of bed looking like Megan Fox in the first Transformers movie once they showered and the bedhead was straightened out. And I know, because my mom was a social butterfly. I remember getting dragged along to DOZENS of other women's homes, I've seen enough of their bathrooms to know that only about half of them even owned makeup. I've even heard one of them say (and I quote) "that stuff's too expensive, just buy [brand name] facial cleanse and some good shampoo/conditioner without phosphates, that's all you need" to my mom. They were fit, ate healthy foods, didn't eat excessively, and they took good care of their bodies. They didn't look like a pimply teen by 28. They didn't have a BMI higher than my weight on the scale like women do nowadays. Beautiful women was the STANDARD back when I was a kid, and ugly women were generally either downright ancient great-grandmas or had some horrible genetic/birth defects. But now that im an adult in the right age range to marry and support a family, women; cake themselves in makeup, eat enough calories in one sitting to feed an entire vietnamese villiage for a week as if the only food group they know is Krispy Kream, and look like Gollum from LOTR.
"how are you gonna buy a house if it's 600,000". That's easy, just don't buy coffee and save your money for 30 years and then when you're ready to buy a house it'll be 10x more than that
1:04:38 female friendships are very different and much more emotionally intimate than male friendships. Transmen have been socialized as girls to view a certain relationship as friendship, which is harder to build with men. I know this because, in the online community where I am more open about being a trans woman, the women or transmen there are much more emotionally supportive than my long-term, irl guy friends.
It's a volatile mixture of self loathing brough on by personal failings and being told by 85% of media and places you go that you aren't wanted or needed there. So a lot of people just say "fuck it, i don't need them either" and keep to themselves. It has less risk of being accused of harrasment or being unable to get a job and support yourself. Complicated issue
its baffling really, imagine you need someone to shoulder responsibility, but give them nothing but scorn or indifference in return, and then act surprised when they eventually stop engaging and just start living day to day for themselves. Society: "put your hand on the stove!" Men: "why?" S: "because I said so!" M: "what do i get for it?" S: "the privilege of burning yourself for my benefit!" M: "no, I think ill go home, play Xbox and jerk off 20 times for a virtual girl that at can't hate me instead, thanks" S: "what?! how dare you?!" S: "where have all the good men gone?!"
@@ghevisartor6005 Man, I wonder where those legendary women are, cause either I'm extremely lucky to mostly meet women without height requirements, or you're extremely unlucky. Like I always hear about it, but only from men
@@ghevisartor6005 I’m 6’3 my dude, being tall is only a small factor, and unless you are top tier in literally every other regard (fitness, wealth, personality, handsome looks) you’re not gonna do good on dating apps regardless. I’m 25, haven’t dated since 2018 and quite frankly, I’m done. Dating is not worth it. I feel so much happier doing what I want when I want and not having to worry about another person. I have one good friend and that’s enough for me
The hardest thing for me in life after highschool was just watching all my friends that I was friends with for my entire childhood-growing up go there separate ways. Everyone tried to stay in touch but after 10 years since I’ve graduated I’m only in consistent contact with 2 who each live in different parts of the country. For me, it’s been almost impossible to find a new group of friends like I had and as a result I find my self with not many “real” friends. I had a girlfriend for long time but that has come to an end recently and now I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am 100 percent socially awkward now and just struggle in general. Dating seems unknown to me now and i just have a hard time trying to make friends because typically people. always go their own way and I get it but it sucks and I have a hard time trust people that they actually care.
I know it won't make you feel better but I'm the exact same boat. Always had a decent sized friendship group that has just drifted away over the years. I was in a long term relationship so didn't even notice too much until last year when we broke up and I realised I'm pretty much completely alone. I just go to work and come home to an empty apartment, don't really know where to meet friends and no idea about dating as it's the first time being single as an adult and dating apps seem like cancer on the few times I tried lol
Too tired to write all that stuff, but i’m also the same as you guys. Just started full time and coming back home to absolutely no one, I just feel devoid of any emotions, i could literally die tomorrow, and ofc I’d be sad knowing i’d left my family behind and the few hobbies I had but that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I dont really know if this really is gonna help you but it helps me, might seems it has nothing to do with this but it helps me and is what my dad teatchs me, learn to meditate, in nowdays meditation its really understimated and have a strong potential to make you really happy (dont confuse happiness with pleasure),it doesnt have to be too much time, at least 5 or 10 minutes at days and it will surprise you how it order your thoughts and your life, again i dont know if this is gonna help you but it really helps me, i can say i am truly happy with the person i have become but it have to start from your very inside or the changes are only gonna be superficial.
I don't know whats changed in us in the last 100 years as men, but maybe we are just set up to fail these days. I was a in a bad place myself for many years after high school. i watched every person i was friends with or had a crush on get married, have kids, move away...spent years without contact from even people i would consider my close friends today...I'm married now, but its not like i am that much happier, i just learned to accept that i have to make my own happiness (its not easy). Looking back , i wish i had been part of a group of some kind that would've forced me to be more social. I think there's needs to be more man oriented clubs for guys looking for something to do on the weekend after highschool or college...something with organization and activities, where you can meet friends, learn some life skills, social skills, have fun and forget about stuff for a couple hours a week. The best advice i can give is make yourself the most important person in your life first, always look out for yourself, care for yourself, find hobbies that reinforce that sense of self worth, and try to get others involved in those hobbies. Making friends over common activity is 10x easier than trying to do it thru just conversation alone.
From what I have observed, real friendship doesn't really exist. All friendship is a product of circumstance (you're currently working together) and/or shared interests that have the ability to bring you together (e.g. you like watching anime together). Once one or both of those things disappear, the friendship fizzles out quietly and that's that. I am in contact with exactly zero school friends these days and only a handful of old colleagues which I keep alive buy having weekly get togethers to watch shows and get Uber Eats together which I generally have to instigate/prompt for or it might just not happen.
Man, Asmon is a pretty sharp dude. He makes some excellent points here. I laughed every time he called something and then Shoe immediately addressed it after he unpaused. Great video from Shoe, and some great further expansions on the issue by Asmon. Men are really struggling right now, and it just feels like society simply doesn't give a fuck, collectively. This isn't a new issue. Men have been committing suicide in huge numbers for over 30+ years, and even before that were more likely to make attempts.
@@Aiveq Agreed. Men were for dying on wars, women were for making more men to die in wars. That is the view governments have had for millennia. Human life has only pretty recently gained significant value.
@@TheManyVoicesVA how did you manage to make this about woman? Tf does you die in a war have to do with women blame the government, which is mostly male
Also men are now avoiding women in the workplace. There'd a reddit post describing this, and the woman is considering reporting the man to hr for not including her more. The problem isn't how many women falsely accuse men, it's how innocent men are still guilty even when proven innocent. At best you can find a tiny handful of men who come out on top, on a mountain of men still suffering from being falsely accused if they're still alive.
The real problem is that in the vast majority of cases of SA or a false accusation it's simply not possible to prove someone guilty or innocent. For the mountain of men suffering after being falsely accused there is a way bigger mountain of women who have been assaulted and haven't seen justice. It's a problem that's hurting both men and women and it's not simple to deal with.
@@Kyuupire To the women being assaulted I will respond in the same way women do to men: "Cope and seethe" We have a presumption of innocence in our justice system to avoid the government being able to imprison everyone it wants on trumped up charges. It's the lesser of two evils. If women wanted to be believed in all circumstances, rout out the liars among you.
@@Kyuupire as true as that is that both the legal system and society majorly fail both men and women, the only differences I'm seeing is only one of them has a legal guaranteed way for them to receive sympathy from being harmed, the other is still assumed to be guilty even when proven innocent. And when one group tries to make shelters they get called a hate group and often get shut down.
@@nobafan7515 There definitely is no guaranteed way for sympathy for victims of SA. Not for female or male victims. Victims are still often blamed for becoming a victim and with the increased public discourse about it, many are accused of making false accusations without anything having been proven or disproven. And who is assuming men proven innocent to be guilty? With the small number of men who are actually proven innocent, I can't say I've really seen that be a big societal problem. What kind of shelter are you referring to?
@@Bonesawisready926 Telling people who've been assaulted to simply cope is just so straight up void of any empathy or humanity that I will not even address it. You misunderstand what believing every victims means, it doesn't relate to the presumption of innocence in the slightest. Believing someone that something bad has happened to them does not mean believing that someone else is guilty of harming them. Believe all women means supporting their recovery and not questioning whether they were actually harmed. This can be done without a court being involved and without believing anyone to be guilty. It's impossible to eradicate all possible lies from all of humanity, you know that yourself. It is possible to not let some people lying stop your empathy for everyone.
Ill be honest, i just want someone to give me a hug and tell me its gonna be alright. It probably bring a smile to my face for months. I cherish those moments because they are extremely rare
@@nonono9194wanting emotinal support as men does not necessary means he is weak. some people went through a lot or genetically depressed, they want someone or something to distract them from harsh reality.
@@CJ-io1mx na it does if that SOLVES your emotional problem as the OP said, nothing wrong with having times when you're down and want comfort off a partner or whatever, but a man solves problems to fight off depression or tragedy, a hug won't fix anything we're logical creatures more than emotional ones
To be honest it's not only the lack of a "North Star" but also the fact the more you learn ... the more depressing and hopeless things become. Ignorance is truly bliss ... Majority of humans could work like mad and still be bound by life's demands, barely having time for social events. It's cyclical, the more advanced countries get the more people suffer from lack of social interaction. It's wild because you'd expect the opposite to happen where technology frees us more and more to have time with family and friends.
29:53 You know, simply being right-wing doesn't make a person a fascist/Nazi. Hell, the right-wing usually calls for the reduction of government involvement and control. That's the exact opposite of fascism. And, just to someone doesn't throw it back at me, I don't assume someone left-wing is automatically a socialist or communist. 37:35 Great idea. So how are you going to prevent humanity from dying out? Or is that your goal? 42:00 Perhaps, but there's a couple good reasons for that. First, driving in a car is such a standard way to travel that we just don't think about that. Second, people have control over how the car moves (normally) but are at the mercy of the pilot(s) in a plane. Finally, if a car breaks down, we're able to walk on the road, but if a plane breaks down, we're not able to fly in the air. 1:02:56 Well, yeah, that's just how politics is. Ultimately, we're all nothing more than a vote to be cast. Even the few politicians that actually do care about and want to help people have to get elected first, so they have to adopt that mentality every election. 1:03:34 I don't know about psychotic, but certainly sociopathic (which is only a couple steps behind psychotic, but still).
Asmon, you are an entertainer. People want to be friends with you. And even if they don’t you are used to talking about things continuously, so they don’t feel that awkward silence of grasping for things to say. You are probably one of the people who has the easiest time making friends. Your view on that is warped by, at minimum, this very job.
Maybe try going outside and talking to people. I'm 5'6", introverted, and not the best looking but not ugly, and I have almost 0 problems talking to women and making friends.
@@doctorbootstrapjohn I personally don't any problems in that area, I'm just saying the wealthy investor saying it's not so hard to the destitute is a bad look.
WOAH bro I mean like...touch grass, I mean like....WOAH. It's so obvious bro. When I made my first $million m life coach told me this, I mean...catch up bro.
"people have been bred for millions of years to be cruel" makes me think of a couple different things. like the expression "the worst people ruin it for the rest of us". also the general concept of rules and laws to begin with. if a rule exists, it's happened enough times to be proven too harmful to be continued.
i've been told the 3 necessities for happiness a while back and i think they were something like relationships, something else i forget and a goal to strive for. putting aside my awful memory, most guys might only have 1 of 3, let alone all 3. on that note, perhaps the reason andrew tate is so popular is because "becoming a man" is strongly desired to work toward. it may also play into the human nature of addiction, seeing as how it's basically like a reward dangling in front of you, forever just slightly out of reach.
I remember standing outside and smoking, back in eleventh grade, and two girls were passing by. One of them turned to me and said: “boy those are some amazing legs you have” (I’ve been dancing for approx 3 years by now). It’s almost ten years since then, and I still remember that vividly, feeling so.. I dunno, flattered? I wish I was catcalled more, tbh 😢 just an embodiment of meme “guys remembering that one random compliment till the day they die”
I worked so hard in the gym for years and would get compliments all the time by other dudes. The one time a woman complimented me it was my eyes not my body lol
Had a conversation with my sister, who is considered hot by many standards, but due to me knowing her and also being her brother, I see mostly as a rotten being I wouldn't even consider dating. Anyway, me, her and my mother were talking about things and she started complaining how tiresome it was to receive so many compliments. I asked her if she'd rather receive no compliments and she said yes. I replied that she should stop posting her life on social media for likes then and she coudln't rebute that. Then I turned to my mother, who I know isn't receving a lot of attention from men and ask her. "Mom between getting too much compliments or none at all which one would you pick. She didn't even bat an eye looking at my sister and saying. "I'd rather all the compliments." Meanwhile as you say, years and years later we'll remember a good compliment from a stranger, especially women. We can be in the pit of despair about to just decide to make that one decision you can't come back from and you remember one moment, one compliment and suddenly that extra push is all you need to get through. Women will never understand that.
@@francois9018 :: honestly...it kind of depends? i know a difference between a compliment and a creepy catcall. compliments just have that sincere undertone to them while catcalls are just...crass. they feel more like the guy or girl instigating them is just...idk, being gross. i have no clue what's going on with your sister, or you ( like bro, we're strangers on the internet and idk what she's implying when she says compliments...she might need to work on that ), but i do hope you and your mom are doing well. you seem like a nice guy ( and considering i live in a household where seeing guys care for their moms is rare ), it's nice to see.
@@lythrum2081 The issue with my sister, and many girls like her. Is that they are so used to receiving compliments that they are tired of it. It means that the only compliments they'll tolerate are from other equally or higher on the scale of attraction. Any one else is basically seen as a hindrance or unwanted. We see this many times nowadays, if you look at all the hr calls and what not. Its not even about if the guy is hot or not in some point. It could be simply be due to the time of the month, the way she feels, the tone as you say or simply maybe the guy pissed her off somehow so the next time he pays a compliment she lashes out. Idk this is why I rarely talk or compliment to girls now, I'm average and most girls don't see me as anything else then muscle to move their shit, solve their problems or in some cases a threat. The last bit is what really kind of gets me, to the point where I have to make it obvious that me just standing there, doesn't mean I'll jump them.
Little sidenote, I agree that the "hermit" side of being a hikikomori isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the real problems are that: 1- many people choose that lifestyle because they feel it's the only safe space they can have and are scared shitless of the outside, usually because of bullying (which can get crazy in Japan, I'm talking psychotic levels) or other trauma, so you could even say that it's not a choice but that their only other option would be suicide (at least in their mind) 2- these people usually end up being "parasites" for their families since they tend to be NEETs as well
i blame hyper sensitivity of the internet for the first point. say something the hivemind doesn't agree with and you need to get "cancelled". like stop being a goddamn killjoy. i had to send someone my skin image THREE different occasions because they thought i was saying nigga without being black.
It's not always that people who want to be alone hate people. Sometimes it's just people who hate modern society and don't want to be here when shit goes completely off the rails
I stoped arguing with my own mother and sister about "men are bad". I argued that it's bad to regroup all bad apple in the same sack and label all men as pigs because it reduce all the other good men to nothing and pushes those ones to act badly, that it makes me feel less as a "man" (and by addition as a Human), but they say "it's not the same, you are my son/brother", as if I'm not a man, making it worse (now that I'm writing this, it may be why I'm feeling more and more like shit and in part unable to have social interaction...)
I’m so sorry. That must be terrible. Some people are just stuck in their ways, and don’t understand how or why others think the way they do. If you’ve told them about how what they say about men makes you feel, and yet they still do this, they are some of those people. Niether you nor ‘all men’ are the problem, here. It seems kind of like they are taking out their personal problems on everyone, and not paying any attention to how you feel about it. I’m genuinely sorry, and hope that they stop and understand you, and that you feel better in the future.
@@MollyMargolisBillCipherIsBae thanks, but I also stopped partially because like you said, I know they both had and heard bad experiences with some pigs, so I don't really blame them, it seams to be normal human behaviour to see a group of people as bad when you had/heard repeated bad behaviour from members of said group, I still love them as much as before though
@@Silails When that group of people is responsible for 90% of the murders and SA no matter what country you live in, it's kind of hard not to notice the difference. When people say "women this and men that", they're rarely talking about "all" of that group. No one wants to constantly preface "not all" when they're making basic generalizations. If your story is indeed true, I would assume they're trying to enforce in you how not to act since you're a male. But if that's how they're going about it that's not the way to do things. Regardless, no one can "make you" act like a violent shlthead by simply stating they think your group is bad, even if they specifically say "no I mean ALL of you are bad I'm not just generalizing"... If you resort to violence because you heard that then you were already a violent person to begin with. Cut people out who you think don't add anything to your life all you like, but don't make excuses for shlt behavior.
@@FoxBlack. That's a pretty fucked up way to see humans, from what I gather you're trying to say, some people are born violent and some not, and it's not a result of growing in "the wrong household", they are "fated" to be bad? School shooters are born school shooters for you then? It's not because they were conditioned to break? I'm not defending any one here (bad actors should be held accountable for their act, no matter their upbringing, they should have been helped sooner, society should have saved them before it's too late, it's our mission to make people feel included and secure), just trying to understand what you're trying to say
A big problem no one talks about is that what women claim they want on the internet is totally different from what women want in reality. This is why so many guys have trouble talking to women, they're terrified of being exposed as a creep
They're people. Talk to them as you would anyone else. Learn about them and find out about them as indviduals. Stop assuming all women want the same things. The way you've worded this gives the impression that you treat women as a different spieces rather than a person with interests and hobbies and thats how you bond. Not every man wants the same thing not every woman wants the same thing Basically for your own good stop generalising and stereotyping based on gender and just talk a out your interests and ask questions about what they like and if you have a bond you have a bond. It may be friendship it may be more - there is no one size fits all approach and many find that line of thinking a red flag and iff putting which is why people playing 'the nice guy' is so off-putting as it feels like someone is laundry lost checking off criteria rather than presenting their true selves or indeed legitimately bonding. I say this as a guy btw
All women don't want all men to be a certain way. ofc the less creepy would generally be better but just find common interests and things you might enjoy together. I think its the worst when you start dating a guy and he starts pulling out f-boy tactics and then throws a tantrum when you're turned off. Sounds dumb but fr just be yourself so you'll find someone that actually likes YOU.
Im a 37 year old female, and i have been lonely with no children. I feel like the men disscussed in her video. We are starting to have a rise of single and childless women as well. We are staring to have an epidemic of no birthrate and people not sociolizing or marrying. People are heading towards a society of isolated people and minimal sociolizing
As a member of the demographic the Shoe video refers to, i can only plead that you focus on other topics. She seems to actually understand and care, and i get a very different feeling from you. The loneliness becomes a problem when it's not what you want, but your mind has no tools to change it, and your life experiences have taught you that trying only ends with you being disappointed in yourself. Also, so many comments here say "just get out there" or something similar, but for some of us "out there" is like a psychological horror VR game where all the people are pre-recorded holograms. Edit: I have a few close friends, can't even imagine how much shittier it would feel to be utterly alone all the time.
I pray you never experience real horror; as it seems you'll fucking explode at the seams when faced with something actually becoming of the word. The only way someone can wind up with this viewpoint is in a nearly complete and total vacuum of suffering and adversity. It's okay to fuck up. It's okay to say weird shit. It's okay to make bad jokes. It's not okay to act like you're the first fucking person to have ever experienced these "failures". >The loneliness becomes a problem when it's not what you want, but your mind has no tools to change it, and your life experiences have taught you that trying only ends with you being disappointed in yourself If I was the ghost of christmas past and could take you back through every single "fuck up", how easy would it be for me to unfuck literally every single situation? how many completely unrecoverable and unwinnable situations have you actually been subject to as opposed to an accumulation of minor failures and mishaps that you let knock you down as if they were your daughter being diagnosed with untreatable cancer? Both the right and left are guilty of giving brain dead advice completely devoid of nuance and individuality. "your" specific "issue" is likely highly personalized and you will need therapy ranging from mild to intense depending on how long you were allowed to have these ass backwards thought patterns reinforced without consequence.
"She seems to actually understand and care, and i get a very different feeling from you." I agree with this and the statement preceding it. Unlike some extremely uneducated pricks who also commented, I understand from experience that the male loneliness epidemic has nothing to do with men's choices. We can't make a series of choices that forces other people to open up to strangers. I am funny, charming, attractive, tall, and extremely lonely. Everyone I've ever tried to make friends with is either so debilitated by their own loneliness that interacting with them is hardly bearable (and yes, I recognize that I likely fit into that category as well) or their lives are already so full that they don't have the ability to make new friends. That is a consequence of an extreme imbalance in society itself, and I alone have no power to fix that. Even if I wanted to, I'm too busy taking care of myself to get major change like that accomplished. We're all so overworked, overtaxed, overstimulated that we can barely think about anyone we don't absolutely have to. Let's not blame men for the circumstances that society placed them into, shall we?
@@akaku9 - take a step back. It's pretty cringe to come on here and start gatekeeping life's hardships and how they affect people. You know jack squat about the OP, and you're not qualified to weigh in on their position.
Same here man. If you want to hear the most blackpilling shit let me share my story. No idea how I pulled this girl. I was a piece of shit yet she loved me a lot. I didn’t treat her right, and she even caught me online talking to other women (This was many years ago I’ve matured since then) But nothing I did seemed to sway our relationship. We always made up and felt like we were stronger than before. When i planned to enlist in the military she even vowed to wait for me and that we’d make it work. Until one day I opened up to her about some PTSD I had and broke down crying like a bitch in front of her. She broke up with me 1 week before i shipped off to basic training. Never talked to a woman about my trauma since. *That* was the thing that finally made her cut off contact
I am a female who is far more social than most people I’ve met online and offline. Because of my hobby preferences (hardcore gaming), I have mostly male friends. In my experience men have shallower and far fewer friendships. The lack of control over their social networks, often including their own children is a problem we should all be working to heal. It’s not a surprise to me when I first heard that men’s suicide rate is so much higher than women’s (6:1 in some places). When a woman is in a desperate situation, she goes to her friends. When a man is in a desperate situation, he does what he’s always done; solve it himself. We (particularly women) need to support men.
This ending is the reason for the suicides. Women get support from women and men. Men only get support from men. And well, biologically men are not the best emotional support systems. Women are. So when you have women ignoring men and shunning them, you have men who feel this way - and then they talk about it together because they got through the same shit,
Thanks for the support. But if you don't mind, as a male and thinking about it for several years, I came to the realization that the majority of woman do not think like you. If I could give you a advice, is to be kind with your actual good friends that have been nice to you. You can help them and make their lives better (as I hope they also make your life more enjoyable), because changing society about that issue is already a lost cause. Also a second advice: a lot of men don't actually like to talk directly about their issues or when someone solve stuffs for them, what we most appreciate is just someone that can understand when we have some issue and be there with us. We can actually solve most of the issues ourselves if we just the motivation for it, we just don't because we think it wouldn't worth it, because nothing/no one would be on the other side for us.
@@ConanOG A cause is only lost when people give up on it. I've changed the minds of many people, and I will continue to do so. Who is better to change the minds of women than other women?
I feel so fucking detached from the mindsets of other people in their late 20s early 30s. My family wonders why I don't have any significant other and it's mostly because I can't relate or connect with any of them. I was a part of a wedding party earlier this year and the groom left me with the bride and bridesmaids at the restaurant and I had my first experience with an anxiety attack in that situation.
That's normal. I got mega anxiety attacks in seemingly benign situations like work or around others. Just know that it does NOT stay like that for very long. My fear of being embarrassed or appearing as a doofus was crippling. Accept the fact that you'll be a cringelord for awhile and realize everyone in the world will forget the moments you worry about. The Internet is an infinite well of humanity acting awkward and anxious in uncomfortable situations. It's what we are, and for the most part people don't really care. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't fall for the 'i have anxiety because I might get a panic attack' mind-fck. There is a legion of men like you and me everywhere experiencing that same shit. It's mostly just a phase, and not what you actually are.
I recommend cutting the idea of anxiety out of your vocabulary, I've noticed the only people that seem to experience it are people that constantly talk about it, I think it reinforces the idea that you have anxiety in your mind and make non-traumatic experiences feel traumatic
@@Sacrosanctelite This was the first time I have ever had this problem spike like that. In my daily live I am not anxious from social situations. I know that my brain just kinda went haywire from being in a situation I didn't want to be in or had anyway of coping with.
@@JakeDaines I don't feel this is a phase. I generally don't care how people perceive me when I know I will never see them again. But I have always felt like an outsider growing up. I have a handful of people I socialize with regularly but outside of that I don't feel like I have any common interests that justify talking to others.
@@jakedoe698 not being able to relate and having anxiety attacks are VERY different things. You probably need help with the latter more than the former.
It's like that one comic where top panel it's a hot dude flirting with the female coworker and she's blushing. Bottom panel is the same situation, but with an ugly dude and the girl is calling HR to file sexual harassment. It's only convenience
I'll never understand people who feel "all men" or "all women" lump into a singular bad bucket. There are all sorts of people in the world with varying levels of goodness and nastiness regardless of gender.
Not saying it's right, but I've been there, and I totally get it. You can call it psychological projection, Freudian displacement, cognitive distortion, etc.
It's not all men, it's just a lot among those who do nothing and blame victims, claiming women are at fault for everything despite them only having been able to do things like vote or own a house for less than 100 years and attacking human rights.@kippkipper4126
It’s the same with toxic masculinity/femininity, like people gotta realize that toxic traits are genderless. Pieces of shit exist in all shapes colors and sizes
Start wearing one solid for a few weeks. Then take it off, you’ll be surprised how many times you look at your wrist and go “oh man, I guess I do use that thing.” Instead of pulling your phone out of your pocket for the 100th time in a day
Until you die and have no way to pass your worldly possessions on to anyone. They either die with you, get destroyed, get abandoned, or the government takes them. I think that's the thing that worries me the most.
@@_V1LKA5_ That's not any of my concern honestly. Eventually everything will be returned back to the universe, it's just a matter of when, whether that be now or a million years from now it's all the same. Just enjoy the life you're given and if that leads to you leaving something behind for others to take then cool, if you leave nothing behind, (something which never happens as there is always someone, related or not, that will turn what you had into something else) who cares? You can no longer enjoy the fruits of your labor once you're dead anyway, so just live and enjoy life while you're alive. Not everything needs to have some grand purpose...at least thats how I feel about it.
@@saltshaker6002 Well said it's just I'd rather have piece of mind knowing that the stuff I once had is in good hands and can then be passed on to the next generation long after.
I mean if women can make money by these sites that charge you... They've already snagged 10000000 guys and are making more money than the average working man in their lifetime.
They shouldnt men are twice as strong and dont have to worry about raising babies. You should beat most females in income. You have time but most men dont realize time and most jobs being strength based carried them.
The idea that you have to be important in order to live a good life is insane and if you buy in to it your life will likely end up a lot worse than it really is. I was raised on the idea that we need to be happy that we're alive and we have people around us that love us. That is enough.
@@talhaahmed2130 Men's job is to BUILD a family. YOU have to become a Man worthy of a family to have one in the first place. Become stronger physically\mentally and wealthier so you can create or find a family. That is the single purpose of a man. To Build and create family. What that family is, is up to you. But work on yourself before you look for or create that family.
Tbh, I'm not a romantic type. I'm very happy being a total hermit. People let me down all across the last decade. As I got older. I started to truly value the peace that comes with a quiet home.
idc if i became a psyho i wont stop myself unless i will hurt someone. i only fear losing control. not even God. God for me is the main goal in life. but with bad thoughts and sadist passions i wont have much choice. only real lovely person will change me. for now i care for myself,familly and my friends only. i dont include any girl from rl in that. or maybe only 1 friend but not my gf
@@szaka9395 thats good stuff. i love games as well. im also interested in many other things that i do alone. i even care more about characters ai than real life girls LMAO
I'm not dropping $300 on a date. No, I do not want to take care of your kids after someone else made them and ghosted. I am not an ATM and not a simp, don't expect me to pay your bills.
Brainwashed by social media who has never approached a normal girl in real life don’t type you wouldn’t date yourself bud first fix yourself and then look for a partner
There is nothing toxic about masculinity, but there is something called behavioral problems. You don't become toxic just because you have a certain level of masculinity.
"Wait until you're 33." Yup, I'm 33, and Asmongold is right. The difference between 23 and 33 is so damn vast when it comes to what you want socially. At this point I feel like I'd be better off as a eunuch, or getting snipped. Tired of having a metaphorical gun to my head brought on by balls.
I saw a post once that went something like "Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you've skipped the tutorial and you're just sort of running around with no idea how anything works. Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you've figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you're supposed to be doing."
@@Nick-mc9et Yeah I'd say that's relatable. But in my case I went to the tutorial (college) only to realize what a giant waste of time it was. I learned a few things I don't think I would've learned elsewhere but the VAST majority, I could just pull from the internet for free instead of wasting money. Fuck degree requirements.
@@DarksideGmss0513 And by 40 you realize everything you know is wrong and your entire world inverts. I know, you don't believe it. You're still innocent. One day it will happen and you won't even realize it until you look back on the things you used to hold dear and cringe out of your own skin.
I think a big problem is that many people mistake being emotionally numb with being stoic. What used to be a silent cry for help became a behaviour to praise and make others follow even if the person in question is actually in pain.
I don’t think classic stoicism is a cry for help at all. I believe that no more than three generations ago people had to deal with a lot more shit. They had a great globe spanning depression, two world wars, and a word rapidly changing due to technological advances. People then needed a harsher way to cope with an even harsher world that threw millions of lives away. The old harsh ways of pre industrial life were still very much common in many parts of the western world. Now we have such a different way of doing things we’re faced with a dilemma of not only a changing society but a culture as well. It’s time for something new and different built for a modern people. Stoicism has its place sure, but it needs to be viewed more as an acquired trait over a learned one. Openness shouldn’t be shamed and neither should silence, both of these need to respected as a personal choice of coping.
@@jankjaws9815 I didn't mean stoicism is any problem, that's my point. People mistake these two states, someone emotionally numb is mistakenly seen as stoic
@@jankjaws9815 I think the problems that the modern generations have and those previous ones had are two entirely different animals that are kind of hard to compare. The 3 nearly universal issues in the past were high mortality (especially for youth), poor living conditions, and minimal to no education. The modern ones are somewhat harder to define, but the biggest ones imo are the feeling of social isolation, the feeling that nothing you do has any meaning, and the state of being aimless. The problems that were in the past were tangible in a way (at least easy to define and see) while the ones going on today are almost purely emotional, being really hard to notice within other people unless you have a high degree of empathy or are skilled socially, which in some ways makes them a lot harder to deal with.
Got in a dark place in my early 20s, worked 6 days a week 2nd shift, left work just pissed everyday, locked myself away for over a year, didnt talk to anyone. Got to a point i needed to talk to someone and fix myself or it was gonna get darker. Early jordan peterson talks and getting real helped me pull myself into at least not a constant depression.
I'm single and sort of lonely in a way. I just find that my few friends are always seemly too busy to hang out. We live in a society where everyone seems too busy with work or their own personal life stuff. That's just my perspective. It's that, or they're not actually friends, I think it's both.
AI is going to make this even worse. Imagine having a boyfriend or girlfriend that doesn't age, unconditionally loves you and can look like whomever you want. It's already heading that way and it's only matter of time really.
i mean it'll probably be great but also make one hell of a shitstorm from people complaining that nobody wants to deal with other human partners anymore.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
“Being alone for a While IS dangerous. lt' s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people anymore”. - Tom Hardy
I'm conflicted, sometimes I want someone and I got out and meet someone, but then after a few hours I miss my loniless and I feel sooo f-ing good for weeks
I'm living proof of this. I can't seem to escape the peace and bliss of my own company.
@blue69waffles Remember this comes from a guy that probably had way too many people around him at all times. Very different for people who have been loneley all their lives
You forgot the sigma male hastag
no its not ive only ever been alone, im so lonely i wish i had human comfort
I like how some of these tweets are laughing at men for being lonely, as if being lonely and isolated isn’t considered some of the worst torture that exists
Sadly society views lonliness as a sign of weakness to men
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 caring what other people think of you is a sign of weakness. There’s no guide book on how to be a man or navigate life, if you let everyone who doesn’t care about you trip you up then you’ll never be happy.
Man, you are really making my 4 years of isolation feel like an achievement right now lol
@@mesadrums375 Not caring about what other people think of you is an unachievable trait. Don't get me wrong, one can get close to this: Not caring about peoples opinions you don't care about.
But detaching from all people and only caring about yourself... this is an impossible thing to do, and probably quite the harmfull for one too. Right from birth until we die, we have been attached and reliant on other humans through all of human history. This is how we evolved and therefore this is how our biological chemistry is developed. Heck, there even exists a study that shows babies dying if you deprive them of this human connection. This seems rooted deep inside of each and everyone of us.
Loving yourself is a good thing. But to have atleast a few people who you can trust or relate to is also very important. Further: Without feedback from others you will get stuck on personal development.
So please, care about what other people think of you. But only choose those, who deserve it.
@@Icegloo24 I literally said that if you let everyone who doesn’t care about you trip you up, you’ll never be happy. You should care what your loved ones think, but if you’re striving to make some dummies on twitter happy you are weak and have your priorities wrong.
As a woman, Asmon is giving way too much credit to this female ideology. Nothing particularly bad has to happen to make a woman buy into this perspective. Simply hearing that men are bad often enough can make them believe that it's true. I have two sons and I worry for them.
Pray for your sons
no dont pray for your sons like this guy said, actualy be there fo them. tell them you love them. talk about these problems and make sure to show them that you care
@@nogardhd7700 Yes, all of that, which I'm sure she already does, considering her concern for her two sons, _and_ also praying. Because if that's what you believe in, what's the harm exactly? And how can one not do everything you said on top of praying?
As a 21 year old guy, I hate to say that your worry is warranted. But the best thing you can do is show your sons you love them and care about them. A big reason I'm still around today is because the thought of what my suicide would do to my mom absolutely destroys me. I could never do that to her. I know she's already had a hard life as is. Love really is the answer to the majority of the world's problems today. So love your sons.
I agree, it's also so funny to me how my sister and me were both growing up, we're just one year apart so it's relatively equal grounds. When i was 15 i was a shutin that hated society for a long time and nobody gave a shit about me and wether i existed or not, but my sister was 14 and constant dm's new friends and experiences simply cause she was female. I love my sister, i would kill for her, i would never want her to be lonely. But the contrast in living is crazy to me. Also to be honest my sister used to be very overweight at that time and not really much too look at for a long time, but i was considered good looking by a lot of people in my family etc. So even the looks didn't carry enough importance for anyone to give a shit. I grew out of that phase though and became far more charismatic and confident about my head and understanding about stuff. It's like the video said, you kind of become value'd as a man for the things you learn. As opposed to girls who mainly get judged on looks and after that the personality is part of the equation.
@1:06:00 As a male teacher in a primarily female space, I did not ask for the misandry I experience daily. I guess you can say I put myself there, trying to do better for my community, but yeah, I get it was my choice to interact with people who hate me for being a guy. My co-workers refer to me like an animal. They talk about how they are going to " train me to be a good husband and man" as if I couldn't possibly determine that information for myself. And as a male teacher I CANNOT interact with female students without being called a creep. They make up 50% of the classroom, but I CANNOT talk to them. I did five years ago, but after the almost annual report on me being a pedo, I just decided its safer to ignore that half of the classroom from a logistics standpoint. Misandry is real, and it does not feel good, like any other form of bigotry and prejudice. I think its demeaning to insinuate that guys ask for it, tbh.
I feel for you. Stay strong brother. I was going to go into education, but then took an education class and felt out of place among all the women. 👍
Wow, that's absolutelly crazy.
I have seen women like that too, and they are disgusting.
Also, I have seen articles that talk about the importance of having male teachers at early age, not for any particular reason, it's just good for a child to have models of both men and women, yet you came across stuff like this...
How can schools be made a fairer place for male teachers?
it's the only form of discrimination that isn't seen as an issue or one that people have sympathy for
I heard a story from a male Librarian, similar female dominated field. When he started work at a library he was the only Man working there, and the women kept making comments about how nice it would be to have a man around to do the heavy lifting. It was upsetting, because he went to school, got a master's degree, and became a librarian specifically to escape doing physical labor, but his female colleagues still thought of him as a grunt.
A big part of it is that men have no support and get no empathy or sympathy. Even in this video every time Asmon says something about what men go through he immediately cuts himself off with "It's worse for women" or "Well women go through this too". Men can't have any sort of help without being told what they're going through isn't that bad or someone else has it worse. We never dote on men. There's a reason why a lot of those AI videos, ASMRs or even what men pay OF girls to say is simply "I care about you, I love you". Because men aren't loved without being of use to something or someone. Men are also portrayed constantly as monsters or predators. Oh, a man is being nice and sympathetic to women, oh he's not kind or compassionate he just wants to fuck her. Oh women don't like men? It's men's fault. I'm sick of being told everything is our fault that we're responsibile for everything. Men aren't viewed as people we're looked at as tools.
the way I describe it is this. "it doesn't matter what your beliefs are, odds are you want men to be your disposable heroes, either explicitly or implicitly"
@apache8795 very well said, thank you
But neither do women.
No one gets free support empathy etc... Men no less than women.
And at least men have it easier in many ways.
So men can either complain they get no support or grow up, face the outside world, make friends and then get some support.
@@etienne8110 you're literally proving them right
@@jeffreychandler8418 Just pointing reality.
You think women get support? No.
They just toughen up.
Expecting unconditionnal support is just being delusionnal/childish (for both men and women).
I never thought I would see the day where Asmon is reacting to Shoe on head.
She's a socialist now unfortunately.
Somebody is gonna get real butthurt about It, guaranteed.
came here to comment this same thing lol
crossing streams here fr
Here before Josh strife Hayes reacts
The best thing I ever did for myself was get a dog. No matter how crappy your family is (if you even have one), you know that dog is going to greet you happily each and every time you get home. The dog won't judge you, use you, or stab you in the back. It won't ditch you in the rough times, either. The dog depends on you for its very survival, but in exchange it'll have your back through thick and thin. The only downside to owning one is how fleeting their lives are compared to ours.
i think for the same reason a cat is a better companion, i love both, but the dog is smart enough to know it depends on you, and consequently it doesn't usually try to leave you
a cat? it can survive on the street and it knows it, and it makes sure you know that, which is why it feels so special when you find a cat that seems to care for you on the same level a dog would, if the cat didn't like you, it would simply leave when it found the opportunity, and with how small and agile cats are? they will find plenty of chances to leave
i've chosen to live with multiple of both
thanks for the idea might as well look into it if ive fix myself and responsible for taking care of doge!
My 16 yr old dog has been with me since i graduated HS. He's getting old, but i wouldn't trade him for anything. He was with me through everything.
My dog is my best friend, we've been through hell and back together. Through eviction, changing states and jobs multiple times, and being at my absolute lowest, my boy Grimm has faithfully been beside me, helping me get through. Hes saved my life more times than I can count There are days I come home just done with it all, ready to just eat a fucking bullet, and there that happy bastard is, so full of love and excitement to see me, and I live another day. Point is, get a dog, Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally by someone.
I got a praying mantis that I've bonded with no regrets
"Women are people" followed by "men should just grow up" shows a crazy lack of awareness. Lmfao we're both just people
I agree. That's the disconnect.
to quote a meme from a few years ago: *_"Babylon wages war on Babylon, Babylon vanquishes the evil of Babylon, Babylon falls and Babylon rises, The wars aren't real but the genocides of your people are"_*
People should just grow up
@@Arkimedus it's a good one, very good.
And we couod all use a little growing up
I have friends and family but still feel lonely sometimes. As a man, no one cares about my soul crushing loneliness. When I open up about it I usually get criticized and made fun of. So there’s few positives to me opening up emotionally. It sucks but all I can do is keep going.
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
Just know that you are not alone in the struggle. Lots of people have the same issue and for some, making fun of and mocking others is how they cope with their own issues.
It sucks but it just takes time to chip away the wall.
My male friends/family don't make fun of me when I open up, only my female friends/family. My theory is they've been told their whole lives men have enormous privilege, so they think me complaining about life as a man is either hilariously pathetic, or like I'm trying to say women have it easy by comparison. Never open up to women, that's what your dad and buddies are for.
We were built to go out and conquer the world, succumbing to loneliness would be in direct contradiction to that goal. That's why we have social structures in place to make you feel bad for it. Get stronger or die out and let the more worthy carry humanity's torch forward. That's the idea.
Stay strong struggler
You know shit's bad when Asmongold, from his throne of millions of streamerbux, says he wants to go back to being a kid and hanging out with his friends goofing off.
"There is no old King that would not accept being a young Captain." a Serbian poet, diplomat, philosopher, Jovan Dučić
I mean hell, who wouldn't? You are absolved of most responsibility, you likely have other people to provide for you, you don't have to work 40+ hours of the week. School sucks but you're with friends so it's not that bad. Don't have to worry about taxes, politics, or any 'adult' shit. You have energy and enthusiasm out the ass because you're youthful in body and mind. Life almost exclusively gets worse for most people as they age.
Also Austin has gone to shit over the years. Back in the 90's and early 2000's our town was a lot more weird and fun. Now it's just another corporate town full of influencers.......ohh 😂
Money can buy happiness, but it always takes more and more money each time, and eventually happiness fades away. There's nothing like the joy of spending time with your bros.
@@johnj.spurgin7037 if any are alive long enough
One of my highschool friends accused two of her exes of raping her 4-6 years after the fact. She was adamant about the dates cause she wrote them in her diary the day of. It was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that neither of them were even in the country during the weeks leading up to and following the dates. Also, in college where one of my buddies got accused of raping a girl at a party, but he and i were out camping that weekend. I think you underestimate how often false reporting happens.
So presumably out of the 100s of women you’ve met along the way, you know of 3 false reports and two of them were the same person?
Imagine going to prison and becoming someone's b!tch for that sh!t.
the problem is that its almost impossible to get a correct estimate of the number of false accusations compared with real cases of rape, because a staggering amount of cases of rape go unreported or can't be proved, so we can only look at the cases that were proved to be false accusations, and those are just a fraction of the fraction. so the data is all skewed, you can't look at all cases that didn't lead anywhere and extrapolate the number of real false accusations from it. meaning its more likely its actually overreported.
The people that turn to false reports and fake gr8pe stories have absolutelly no idea (or are psycho enough to not care) how much damage that can do to someone and not only that but they only make it harder to believe actual legit cases as a result.
Back in highschool there was this chick absolutelly mad crazy about me. In the last year of highschool she texted me saying she had been crying the whole day because she was taken advantage of sexually by one guy she invited to her home while the parents were away. As I kept poking at the story to figure out what really happened suddenly it turns out it hadn't been just one guy but also another two that helped him do it... needless to say I was already not super convinced; As messed up as guys can be I doubt a whole trio of them would have agreed to do something like that to a non-consenting teenage chick at her place. At school the next day(s) she seemed as normal as she had always been, there was no talk of police or such a case happening in town (it would have been town gossip for sure), she didn't go to the principals office or anything, plain same old chick.
Bottom line to that whole ordeal is even though I'm quite convinced it was just one of her antics to try and get sympathy, affection or attention from me I cannot say for sure 100% that it didn't happen. And that memory of the incident comes back to my head every now and then and seriously messes with my mental health; It's like "should I have done this, should I have done that, should I have believed her, did she go on to live a miserable life after highschool because I wasn't there for her?, Maybe I ran the risk of her comitting self delete and neglected that by not helping out"... All that shit can break someone, and the incident described was about 15 years ago and still it messes with me.
Nowadays I find it extremelly hard to believe the overwhelming majority of accusations and cases as a result (Women nowadays are also much wilder than back then so I don't blame anyone for trying to distance themselves from matters like these). It's a good thing that I don't automatically believe accusers but it shouldn't have to be this way and it's only hurting actual victims.
I've been falsely accused of very similar things myself. It's too common these days.
A man's first flower is given to him at his funeral.
If that
My 3 year old daughter gave me a flower. One day someone will give you a flower as well.
I'm 45 and I've had zero flowers. Don't lie to this guy . It's a lonely and harsh world
I just got mine 🔥
33:40 Let's be honest with ourselves here, Asmon. If a man were to tweet even half of this stuff, going the opposite direction, they'd have disciplinary actions taken against their account.
asmond just white knighted this whole video ... any time she spoke about what men are going through hes sat tjhere screaming but women but women .. screams pick me
@@Jay30-z1s it screams seeing both sides and how actually both men and women are extremely affected by specific issues.
@@Chaosophia24 no I think I’ll stick with the original pick me comment thankyou
@Ed-wu1xy that's not being honest at all. Honesty is ... probably not, in terms of disciplinary actions, given what actually gets posted on Twitter on a regular basis without repercussions.
the only honest thing we can say about what is or is not allowed to be said online is.... those types of conversation would NEVER happen if all those people were in the same room.
Certainly amongst men, one of us in this thread gets smacked in the mouth for not only adding nothing, but being a cvnt while being useless.
But yes Ed.... I do think more of what is said online needs to be able to drift away. But to me any disciplinary actions taken by a company are ultimately pointless and pretty unhelpful when it comes to having an impact on making people consider their own words and thoughts.
Consider 'The Village Idiot'.... we made the world into a village... and now, because we all live in the World Village... there is nowhere for the Village Idiot to go... to remake his life, rebuild himself... there is no redemption if someone loud enough chooses to make an issue of you. There is no way to simultaniously allow for anyone to say anything AND grow and leave those words behind as you remake your thoughts to fit new understandings/information
As a man... here is an unpopular opinion. We have lost something when the looming threat of violence is removed. A line of decency, contribution, capability... there are now so many lines that are removed because there are no real consequences to saying dumb shit. Everyone's An Expert(Letterkenny hhahahahaha)... Being A Shitheel... Making Loud Noises. All the real barriers to becoming part of important conversations have been removed. And now All of our thoughts are available Anytime, Anywhere.... forever... even if you later learn that you had no idea what you were talking about.... there is no New Place for someone to go and try to sharpen their new thoughts. It is still Here, on the internet.... and for some people it is just easier to withdraw, or dig in... rather than admit that the You of Yesterday was a fkn idiot.
My life pre 21 all I wanted was a relationship. Now at 24 I decided to completely give up because I don't see it being worth the effort. This also leads to my family constantly asking why I don't date and wondering if I'm gay which just sucks.
At least you still have them, stay strong brother
Happiness is innate, it has to start with you. If you meet that one in a billion girl, fantastic. But there is no law that says you need a woman to be happy in life.
You have lots of time to work on yourself. Remember if you want someone else to love you, you have to love yourself.
Being gay isn't just sucking bro, there's a whole bunch of other stuff you can try!
Mom keeps asking me if I want to get married knowing full well I only make 1200 a month. It's baffling.
My personal concern is that I have become very comfortable by myself, and have developed some bad habits as a result, but I haven't lost the feeling of loneliness. I worry that I may be too far gone at this point.
Crack fills the gap quite well lol not even joking.
I felt the same, but now that I work in the customer service field I have made female friends and talk to pretty women everyday, you can reverse it by exposing yourself to uncomfortable socialization. Talking to my coworkers or friends about their relationships have made me aware that most people have unnusual unique problems in life, no matter how strange you feel there are plenty of people that are barely acting what is consider normal as well, dont try crack but maybe marijuana, mushrooms, or lsd. It made me more humble and self loving while also encouraging me to make a change to become the person I want to be, so far Ive only lost weight but I've also gotten 50-100% better at talking to people, and empathizing with them.
You always have a chance man, that "confort" is incredibly numbing but once you get to a certain point you actually get tired of being tired, so for me look for that discomfort
very relatable
Definitely relatable... I used to go to the gym before 2020. Then downfall started...
Always weird when people say Jordan Peterson is bad
He is he's a juus lover
It's a sign of a sick society.
He charges money to young men for seeking common sense advice rules lol
@@James_36he's got hundreds of hours of free advice
@@alext2046 you clearly don’t know how online cons work - that’s exactly what happens to get you pulled into buying his stuff
I feel like I have had 2 of my worlds collide with this video, but as an adult man I have no close friends and no support in helping not be lonely. I basically get attacked online anytime I share this.
You are not alone, by far not. The other's just had the same experience and stopped sharing online as well. Try looking in places where you would hide from the world, and you might find some new friends.
Ive friends but they live in my hometown. So i expend 1 years alone and 1 week with friends lol.
But im fine with that.
Im 40 and i kept 2 friends, the rest can F off with their social media fomo, i live in a bubble and im happy there. What saves me is my now wife, without her id def feel lonely so...i would suggest trying to find someone, hard as it may be, because without someone to support you after everydaylife took you for a spin the entire day, it sure helps. Oh im introverted, so i tried finding someone who was also that and its a must. My ex was a social media clout addict and F me i got tired of it...
Don’t go to the internet for sympathy.
do you have anything you like doing? I did after hours sculpting classes and kept a whole group of friends out of it, same place had photography and editing classes too.
i 100% feel your sentiment but its important to understand that meeting people in life is an active thing, its not something that happens to you (after high school).
Right = stop being a cry baby
Left= apologize for existing.
"It's all your fault, but you're the only one who can get you out of it" vs "it's all your fault and you need to appease braindead leftists to get you out of it, now vote for my guy"
Yep no winning lol
Whoever you labeling as `left` in US have nothing to do with the real left movement.
From a young age I've seen 99.9% of all news/politics as nothing more then just bs
Right is better: It at least implies improvement and value intrinsic in you. Left is implying that your existence is the problem.
Let's face it Asmon: You are a talker, you are charismatic, you are very literate and the list goes on. You are one of the few that made millions with talking and entertaining. No wonder it's easy for a guy like you to talk to ppl and find stuff to talk about and make connections. That is literally your passion and profession and you are extremely good at it. Making spontanious talking points and create common ground is what you do aaaall the time.
I just don't think you can relate to someone that thinks "it's hard to make friends as a man" when you are a role model on how to do it.
I mean... he's been a degen for decades living in filth and spending all his time playing games. Just because he's in a different position now than in the past doesn't mean he can't speak on past experiences.
@@NiSE_Rafter That is true, but when you spend some time in a higher place than you were before you tend to forget how hard it was. I agree with the original commenter, that Asmon isn't really able to speak from an unbiased frame of reference, but it's more complicated than that.
@@Badgabr1 That's a fair point
Its like asking to pro gamers how to balance a game. Horrible idea, they are so good at the game they would even be good with a broken controller hahaha horrible standard for the average player to compare to
He's a good example on exactly why this whole "issue" is not an issue at all and merely society being free to choose who they want to hang out with. He's a borderline degen who never leaves his house and still has friends. What's anyone else's excuse?
If you legitimately have no friends after all the years at primary school, high school, college (if you went) and coworkers, and the whole time have been struggling to be in a relationship... Then there's a very good chance that you are the problem, not everyone else.
It's not hard to "make friends as a man", what a ridiculous statement. Most males have mostly male friends anyways, so that wouldn't be on women regardless, yet for some reason incels turn this into a gendered conversation and somehow find blame in women for this "problem". How no one isn't seeing the Elliot Rodger mentality vibes is beyond me. It's the exact same logic. Boo hoo, no one wants to hang out with me and girls don't want to date me. As if anyone were entitled to either of those things in the first place.
So if males aren't the problem here then who is? (which is the implication since not one person is claiming more men should be friends with these rejects, they act like only women are supposed to be this compassionate). There isn't much of an alternative guess since there's only two genders. Obviously women would be the implied problem in this "issue" no one is putting the responsibility on the men themselves who claim everyone else is the problem. No one is outright saying how come men aren't supporting other men by being friends with these dudes who claim they have no friends...
So that gives a pretty telling impression as to where this is leading.
The whole problem being titled "have we failed men" should have been enough of a clue. Who's we exactly? When no one, male or not, is entitled to be friends with anyone who doesn't want to be their friend.. and males being friends with males is more common in the first place. Yet men are the victims and never the problem with statements like this.
Men have the privilege of knowing their friends aren't only being friends with them because they want to get laid in the future. The only men who generally need to actually worry about being used by their friends are rich and/or famous males. Whereas females have to worry about this throughout their entire lives for no reason other than just being born into the body they were born into.
The vast majority of people have friends and have had partners. You don't need Asmon to be a role model for doing something completely normal. The reality is, he's not even setting a good example for people who want more friends. The guy never leaves his house and plays video games all day. That's not a good model to be following if not having friends or relationships IRL is your problem. If anything, normal males being roped into thinking that's acceptable behavior a partner should think is reasonable in a relationship makes it an even worse model to follow. They're going to be very disappointed when they get into the real world and get slapped with the realization that they don't have the charisma to make a living playing video games for a living, and they actually need to put effort into sustaining friendship/relationships. These "tough lessons" used to just be common sense.
Now people whine about it and expect sympathy for problems they solely created for themselves. Asmon doesn't act like that, he doesn't blame women for him being single etc. Asmon has created a life for himself where he is perfectly happy being single, never leaving home, and living off the worst grade 1/4 inch steaks while throwing another pop can onto the pile he rarely cleans...and the average guy needs to realize that lifestyle isn't going to work for 99% of them, especially if you're someone who gets lonely.
Asmon isn't someone who has these issues because he isn't the kind of person who has a problem being alone with himself. Nor does he think he's entitled to a relationship with a woman who puts up with that lifestyle. That's the only problem that I'm seeing here, is entitlement and controlling others. Not "loneliness"
No one owes anyone friendship, so therefore someone not having friends is not some kind of "solvable" problem in society. The only problem arises when they reach the level of entitlement where they start lashing out at everyone around them because of their own shortcomings. Or worse go on an Elliot Rodger rampage.
Dude, men SIMP to women online, not harass. Any COD player who is nasty to a girl online is likely equally nasty to male players online. But the majority of women online are getting all the token simping.
I like how being independent and an introvert is being labeled as being a "loner creep".
This IS the reason why I don't care to interact with society.
Tbf being independent and an introvert is not keeping you from making friends or what makes you a „loner creep“. Its because you’re not interacting with society.
Introverts can be friends and friendships don’t induce any kind of dependence, friendship is usually a win-win situation.
I’m married, but still independent (as is she, because we respect each other and even though we are married, we acknowledge that we are still individuals within the marriage), and I’m fairly introverted for the most part. Don’t think I’ve ever been labeled a loner creep. Could be because when I am around other people I still make an effort to be friendly
@@Fantaztig Yeah I agree, I have a couple close friends but I don't really care for superficial friendships. My point was that the media tends to worry about nothing, like taking a liking to being alone shouldn't be critisized AT ALL, you enjoy what you enjoy and people should respect that.
@@hitthegoatOh man. I really hope you just poorly articulated that and are mistaking personal space for independence. If not you subscribed to some real feminist BS if you believe yourself or your partner to be independent. That sort of mindset eventually gets you cucked, replaced or divorced.
*shrugs* Maybe even enjoy watching it burn??? I just don't care anymore. Why should I care about a society that has ZERO interest in themselves.
"When any group has a problem, we ask what we can change in society to fix it. When men have a problem, wo wonder what they can do to fix themselves."
It's really interesting that men broadly are about the only group that gets regularly dismissed to just go and fix their own problems.
Meanwhile, a lot of times when there is a women issue the same people will start yelling how men have to get better and help women.
@@jaybee4288 All this depends on what we consider to be "issues". There's one end where people say women have a harder time getting into the work force; whilst at the same time there is a lower rate of women applying for jobs (thus the total % of men with jobs compared to women is higher), the fix for this on a social point? It would be to say that work places don't hire enough women, and due to there being less women in the workforce, they should get paid more (regardless of experience).
Then there's men and their loneliness. This looks like much more of a personal thing, "deal with it yourself" a lot of the time would be the knee jerk response (and it's not entirely wrong); if someone is dealing with something personally, they should do something to change it; especially if it's in their control... But! There is that factor were men simply don't feel comfortable putting themselves out there in a world that judges them constantly (women get judged constantly too; but let's focus on men for this section), this judgment makes them feel like if they put themselves out there, they now have to deal with the idea of whomever they approach accusing them of sexual harassment (and a number of other things too).
It's all very complex right? The huge issue I have with how most people approach this conversating is that if you're a guy, you're probably going to go, "I don't trust women, so I don't want to associate", and if you're a woman you might say, "but how is that my problem, they should deal with it themselves since they're so capable". There's an immediate barrier put up, and both sides don't really want to help the other (but some men and women will consider what the other side is saying; but going the extra mile takes a lot of TIME and EFFORT)...
Time and effort is valuable, SO it's why we keep seeing the same "issues" come up.
@@jaybee4288 Rather than try and fix it, why don't you just get out of the way? Don't do things. Don't shame a guy if he wants to play videogames all day, don't shame guys who don't want to climb the corporate ladder etc. Just live and let live when it comes to men and stop resorting to shaming language.
I don't want women's help, I just want you to stop expecting help from me and get out of my way when it comes to my goals.
Also, fix your own issues. You aren't entitled to men helping you with yours. In fact, that's what you can do, address your own issues and allow men the time and latitude to address their own. Don't badger us to help with your issues or blame all of us for your issues. I know you'll bring up SA, but that is a fraction of men who do that and quite frankly, I have no incentive to help you with that and would rather we just stay out of one anothers way.
@@jaybee4288 one thing that women could do is stop forcing everything to be coed. There used to be men's clubs and male only spaces until women found it unacceptable. Men need a place to be men. Bring back mentorships and apprenticeships so men can learn from action. But none of that's gonna happen cause women get so offended when they aren't the center of everything
@@pridefall3304 This is another way they can just get out of the way. We don't need women to do anything we just need them to get out of our way.
"fix your own problems" is valid on an individual level, the point of this video is that a large percentage of the population has the same issues, and there's not really a solution
‘i’ve found that my life has never once gotten better by being more vulnerable.’
i hope this wasnt a sarcastic take, because this is 100% facts.
Yeah people will chew you up and spit you out for that.
Well, yeah, life is hard, you have to find the right people in your life that won't try to use it against you. Not all people will have good intentions, no shit.
it's literally like a video game boss, if you show any vulnerability it will get used to destroy you.
I absolutely disagree. If you don't allow yourself to show your vulnerability all you do is put on a mask, not address the issue. Thats how depression gets worse and suicide numbers spike.
@bernhardlabus8511 it still depends of other people, to cause they may harm you with the points that you show to them
You can dismiss a lot of this if your stance is 'some men hate women, some women hate men'. But it isn't this simple. There are 4 key distinctions:
- Women hating men is socially acceptable, supported by celebrities, legislation, company/employment policy and any avenue that isn't SPECIFICALLY pro-male.
- Women hating men is being socially programmed into them by the above stakeholders, starting from as young as school age, programming them to resent men for a history that they played no part in, and a history that is really quite significantly misrepresented.
- Men openly hating women is significantly less common and is not socially acceptable at all. Infact, if you uttered a negative sentiment towards a woman professionally, you'd be disciplinaried/fired. Whereas due to this social double-standard a woman could professional disparage men and not face any repercussions at all.
- Men are mainly hating women now because women hate them. I.e. Women hate men for some convulented historic reason, men hate women because women RIGHT NOW hate men.
I don't know if this is nature or nurture, but I've always felt uncomfortable sharing my emotions because it feels too much like shifting my burdens onto someone else - and that just makes me feel worse.
I empathize, but bottling it up forever WILL drive you mad.
I do it, and I still feel guilty every time but I also remembering the soul crushing feeling of suffering in silence for decades.
You can still enjoy mutual hobbies and decide to stick around another human being that want to hangout too. That's what I think initiates Friendship
It's definitely a nurture thing. I think most of the male experience is conditioned into us. Also what you described is Stoicism, it's a means in which you try to conquer your emotions yourself so that you can allow an environment for your loved ones to thrive in, because if the leader in that situation can't keep it together, then the rest of the household can't.
At least on paper that's what stoicism is about, and a lot of men are conditioned to be that way. And even if you aren't conditioned by parents, you might develop from environment because other guys are like that and its likely you adopt habits that you see around you. "Birds of a feather flock together" as they say, if you're around men who live like this, you may become just like them.
Just gotta get comfortable with asking "Can I vent/rant"
See how different friends take it, and you'll see who you can open up to.
Two people will have an easier time to carry the load, and possibly get it to where it need be faster.
Of course if you carry it alone. It could build strength and character or whatever... but it also could break your back.
As long as you're willing to reciprocate, no reason to feel worse about sharing
I feel like it's a nurture thing. I'm a skinny guys, I have to ask for help fairly often, especially when it comes to lifting heavy things
Im in my 30s. I want peace not another person nagging me about what would make her happy. Im just trying to pay my mortgage and be there for the people who have proven to be a positive part of my life.
Smoking that good copim
@@nexstbob6911seriously?....
@@nexstbob6911 He's paying for his mortgage meanwhile you're on your moms' internet. Imagine
@@nexstbob6911 Why do you think women and marriage are a requirement for men to have happy lives?
@@Bonesawisready926 Its not a requirement, but is is exactly the answer for a lot of people, not all, but for a lot it is
It does seem harder to make friends sometimes. I can live without romance and the sort, but having someone to talk to regularly feels like its asking for too much at times. You can be friendly with people and start up conversations but then that leads no where, and thats without being too pushy or desperate. Sometimes it seems like some people dont even reciprocate the kindness if you arent at a certain level for them to justify talking back to you. Idk, maybe theres more to it, but it does feel shitty sometimes having no real connections with people.
They’re are many ways that prevents good conversations which are distraction/work if you have production you have to keep up. Not asking question, not a lot people do that. People usually say something funny or a statement but you don’t know how the other person would respond or understand. Safe way for them is to react with a fake laugh and move on. Not greeting each other. Not having the same goals.
@@Maknorr-v8w Sometimes even asking questions gets negative reactions (but maybe thats just cause of the people Im around) I tend to like learning about stuff so asking questions seems like a simple way to show interest but my interactions tend to have people thinking like im an idiot. So getting enough of that interaction is like, "Yah idk, i think ill stick to myself from now on"
It's safe to assume that you could always improve something about your conversational ability but I keep seeing more and more about how perceived status leads to social acceptance. Look at the difference between the janitor at work talking to you and your bosses bosses boss. Guarantee people chuckle at the second guys jokes way more
You need to put in the effort to establish a friend group, I have a solid friend group because it was built on years of dialogue. Not one-off conversations. Like I'll give you an example, if I was to build a new friend group. The first thing is to have small talks as you have stated. But after that is the time to build a stronger foundation. Make sure after the small talk ask for a number or any social media so you can communicate about small things outside of work or where u met up. Then you can invite them to do things or they can invite you to do things. Like gaming or sports, etc. Sometimes they won't be interested, and that's fine. That doesn't mean they aren't interested in being friends it just means they have something else that interests them. You need to put in effort. Sometimes, you click with someone in 1 out of 10 people. But try not to make that the norm cause you won't always get that result. I hope I'm making sense, I'm typing this at 1 a.m., and I need to get up at 5 a.m. for work 😂
@TamagoSoup I shall answer one question from you about something you are curious about. Hail the Imperium.
I see the pain in your eyes...
I'm proud of you man you got this
(I'm proud of every man)
"Master cheif convinces you to not watch incest porn." Is a sentance i never knew could exist. 😂😂😂
"incest" (people are not related anyway) porn is probably the most popular category xD How do I know ? Hm...
@@vashe9 that's depressing. Incest tags give me a shudder of revulsion and a hard nope.
@@vashe9 While porn is bad, incest in particular is way worse and imo i'd stay away from that even if you are watching porn. That has to be damaging to some degree to watch. Even the step-bro stuff is probably pushing it honestly
@@jazzman7842Why do you think that porn is bad?
LOL!!
It'll always be insane to me how people blame their poor partner decisions on anyone but themselves, then proceed to do their absolute best effort to contribute to the problem.
I'm guilty of this. Whether it happened to me or someone else I have a terrible habit of lumping a person who did something terrible into the demographic they associate with. I need to make a more concerted effort to tell myself that there are still people who don't fall into, and steer clear of, stereotypes.
@@madpinoy5683what he's saying is that no one else is to blame for the relationships you choose. You can't even blame your partner because you allow the behavior. It's narcissistic if you're always playing the victim. If you are consistently going for people who aren't interested in you, people who cheat on you, people who use you for validation etc then you need to take responsibility for the relationships you get into that are not healthy. He's saying take responsibility for the partners you choose
I know you have a Chad PFP but... This is such a Chad take
@@madpinoy5683 You and me both, man. Amen to that
Well, sometimes you gotta date people to figure out down the line that they’re red flag central. Many people don’t present these initially.
Years ago people could realistically expect to at some stage be able to afford a house and a family but it all now feels unattainable so there’s no wonder men are becoming depressed especially these days when we’re labelled as monsters for the select few morons
Government print so much money nowdays that everything gets super expensive. If you don't own anything, you are screwed because you only get money from wages and when government print so much money it's like getting paid a lot less. It's a very sad life...
The vocal minority is a menace
Yeah and women looked for quality of character instead of just money.
Lacking purpose is scary, do what you love and love what you're doing and it will love you back.
Think about what you love to do the most and how that can be translated into a productive thing, such as art or gunsmithing..
The purpose is to love, love each other, love what you do, love your spouse, and love your children.
Love is the greatest commandment.
Lol 😂
@@xbuggativeyron keep bein miserable then lil bro 🤣
Lol Asmond taking a sip of his doctor pepper after going off about energy drinks is priceless.
A soda is far from an energy drink. energy drinks contain harmful ingredients that can and will cause issues, where as the unhealthy ingredients in Sodas is sugar and caffeine . sure neither is great but energy drinks are way more harmful. Sodas in moderation aren't going to give you a heart attack
I'm not sure what dr pepper tastes like, but if it's like any other cola sodas, then makes sense. Energy drinks have a specific taste that you hate at first then you ease into liking it and then it becomes even better than soda. An infant can drink Coke and like it, but no everyone is gonna like the taste of energy drinks.
@@MamadNobariwhat makes energy drinks and colas bad is the corn syrup used in them. I really don’t think it’s fair to say “energy drinks are bad” while drinking a soda. they are equally as bad, but like most things, are okay in moderation.
@@RealTonyMontana I thought he said he didn't like the taste? Obviously, anything other than wata is bad. But taste-wise, energy drinks are harder to get used to than soda.
@@MamadNobari I made that comment before I watched the whole video, I had assumed asmond said that they were bad for you.
I would consider myself lonely but I've learned to find hobbies that I enjoy, and through those hobbies was able to make friends and meet new people to combat the loneliness which I encourage because its pushes you to become a better version of yourself. Doing this also helped maintain a healthier state of well being, especially in these times it's EXTREMELY important with how depressed and unmotivated us men have gotten now. I use to date, but dating is a shitshow with how things are and everyone being selfish and self sabotaging their own relationships without self reflection or without understanding what a healthy relationship looks like. Only some of the many reasons why I've checked out of the dating market and have been happier since, along with the rest of the men who have also come to the realization, which is sad. There is so much narcissism, and materialism with so many people. I'm 28 it's actually mind boggling how far its gone. Find purpose and keep moving forward and do your best in these times, support each other whenever you can but don't don't forget to take care of yourself .
You speak as if you were 45...
i've learned to make female friends by being myself and not be needlessly annoying/controversial unless its the appropriate mood or time to do so. Female friends are cool cause I can ask them questions and get used to talking to women while also being my weird embarrassing self. I used to struggle to talk to women a lot when I was in highschool and the 3 years after because I never got out adn talked to strangers, but now I work in fast food and it has actually increased my confidence a bunch because I talk to pretty women everyday and dont feel very much fear or anxiety and actually seem to be appreciated and liked by the female customers/employees.
Most guys don’t realize they may just be 20% off of being an attractive prospect not 500% off. Being in a relationship can be lonelier too it’s not the whole solution. Also being in a long term relationship is a mind boggling prospect.. it’s better to be happy day to day interacting with people getting to know yourself
👏
As a philosophy. Stoicism has been a life saver. Don't get me wrong. It may seem self harming, as some sort of "toxic masculinity". But now that I know what I am expected to be. What society expects from me. Now that I know that I am the only one who has my own back. I invested in my self. HEAVILY. Got positive hobbies. Gave up on women being feminine or respecting themselves and the need of cooperation. I am happier. Healthier. Sure. Lonelier. But I stuck my head out of the sand. The truth is brutal. But atleast I am getting my shit together.
The reason why that RDR2 channel kept attacking the suffragettes was because the media attacked him first. He'd do anything and everything in RDR2 before but when he killed the suffragette he had all of these hit pieces written against him by game journos. So in retaliation he kept doing it
Like he should
What does Red Dead Redemption 2 have to do with this?
@@miragebarrage9748 asmond mentioned it
@@bsabradybunch550 oh wait a minute. I was joking when I made that comment. I didn’t know he was actually talking about red dead 2. My bad.
Poor R2D2
Most women are looking for alpha males and like being treated a bit more harshly. Men who ask for permission before kissing them seem pathetic to them. However, if the person doing these things is not handsome, it is considered harassment. Some unattractive but confident men are labeled as rapists. Either the same rules should apply to everyone or no one should be labeled as a harasser.
Loneliness seems to just be getting higher for the male side of the human race. Been lonely my whole life (already neglect on the social aspect) and every single time I speak up about anything I struggle with: ignored, attacks and/or neglected entirely. Even was left by love interests when I had a SINGLE problem come up that was tearing away at me mentally! Pretty much closed off so much that there isn't even a key for the locked door. How can anyone expect someone to always be there for them but never need anyone to help through their own issues? Can only fight for so long mentally and quite honestly, longer than a decade fighting is too long. Especially when more keeps piling on the weight of it all.
Im sorry for your unhappiness @fenyxclips. I get how we arent allowed to have mental health issues ie stressed, worried, pissed without your partner getting annoyed yet you will be there for them unquestioning. I dont know the answer but i feel for you as i saw a bit of my experiences in your comment. Best wishes
Only thing you can really do safely is see a social worker or a psychiatrist about the issues. Women as a rule do not actually want you to "show emotion/open up" in the plain sense. Stoicism is strength. What they mean by "show emotion/open up" is to listen to them and "understand them on an emotional level".
Your loneliness is valid, your sadness is valid, what you're feeling is valid. Everyone gets sad and lonely, not everyone will be like your past partner you'll find someone better that will be there for you. For the mean time it's okay not to be okay. Endure and enjoy your journey as you rebuild or find yourself and someone that will be there for you. If you want someone to blame, blame the past generations on making society this way, if you want to be mad be mad at the ones telling you not to feel, be mad at those conservative scums. I've gone through what you're going through, and found the conclusion that the past is the problem, this alpha male stoic shitheads makes the world into a living hell, where you strive for dominance inching your life away.
@@whytho1690 and who's fault is that?
@@fidelramen5202Frankly speaking, feminism and men who bothered to listen _too_ much. It's hard for there to be understanding from both sides when we practically speak two different languages. Men are more likely to take things literally and at face value but women want you to be able to "read between the lines" and figure out what they really mean. Add a side of 'people don't know what they _really_ want' and it's a terrible mix of bad communication all around.
As a guy all I want is for someone to care about me besides my mom and dad.
Oh wait
Even my parents don't care about me...
@@amell-816tf?
get off the internet :)
@@TurtleChad1 That’s rough Buddy
I care about you turtle Chad
I’m a 37 yo man who has fought with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 12. When I was active-duty, I used my alt channel to discuss my mental health history in an effort to normalize it and though I’m out now, I’ve thought a lot recently about discussing these topics again. Although the young men today are living in a *markedly* different world than what *I* lived through as a younger man, lonesomeness hasn’t aged a day. It even brought a friend: synchronized, conspicuous contempt-until we kill ourselves in record numbers year after year. Then, the media suddenly cares.
Active duty on call of duty isn't military service nerd
@@GeminAiDreams seems like somebody didn't even bother to watch the video, its either you seek help, or you just don't talk. You're welcome.
The media doesn’t care either it’s just a hot topic to get eyes on. They’d dance around the topic all day if that’s what they get
Thank you for your service 🙏🏼
here for you brother i'd definitely love talking with ya about our problems because I definitely struggle with that still to this day even though im in a much better place than I was when i was in active duty as well ! just a POG but got worked like a slave till my body fell apart then they gave me the boot lol XD
55:50 I worked in HVAC for a decade and I am now a programmer. I can tell you 2 things for sure. 1) AI is not going to take over programmer's jobs this decade. It's only going to be a tool to help them work faster. 2) Construction work destroys your body over time, and doesn't pay the six figures everyone says for the vast majority of plumbers.
I'm not saying become a programmer and don't go into construction. I'm saying there are trade-offs and you should not just blindly trust what the internet is saying about job industries. It's usually spoken by people outside of the industry who have no clue what they're talking about.
Exactly. The industry for Trades needs bodies, but they're only now upping pay in my area.
The time dedicated to trades is heavy and many places require you to be on call.
The biggest problem is that people seem to despise the very concept of men recieving help of any kind. Like male support networks are some of the most hated groups for like no reason. Think about how many people hate gamers simply because it's a male dominated hobby
EXACTLY
People hate gamers?
@@cynicallyyoursGamers are opressive and opressed.
@spinekingjrgensen5779i, I have genuinely not heard this before. But maybe that's because I know more women gamers than men? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Do u really use 'like' when ur writing😂😂
The only time being vulnerable has helped me is in therapy, and that dude is paid to listen to me 💀
You have to be vulnerable to the right people. Sadly, not everyone is built for reciprocating kindness.
I’m sorry that made me laugh cuz I wasn’t expecting it. I hope that your doing good btw
"you are a quater mill in debt i get more guidance from my barber" -aesop rock
TRUE! SO TRUE!
I agree with Asmond on most points he’s made here, but as I am listening to this for some reason an African proverb comes to mind: “The child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel the warmth.” I’m sure it’s obvious but I applied this to the topic where, boys/men are the child and society/media the village.
There’s so much to say on this topic, but Im not in the mood to write an essay. Best of luck to everyone out there.
Some say that's the point to drive men to revolution
@@stormjones725, but what would be the point of that? Anyone who has the power and resources to orchestrate such a plan could just as easily just implement the changes they'd like to see in society.
@ChristerSvanstrom our constitution restrains them. To make major changes to the constitution you have to have (I'm blanking on the name) a meeting with all the states and it has to meet a high threshold to pass. If revolution brakes out it gives them the chance to throw out the constitution by forming a new goverment. At the same time taking down the numbers of opposition because they die in the war.
@@stormjones725 It certainly wouldn't be the first time in history, in even the past 100 years, that a popular revolution was secretly orchestrated by the elite with an authoritarian result.
24:00 ah and that is the true lesson on current politics. The conservative side is actually more liberal than the liberal side. Fight me on this, I dare you.
I like how everyone talks about male loneliness but no one does anything to help fix it
Or it's just human. Sorry but why is this restricted to men
/r whooosh @@fioreferrari9239
We need to return to tradition when everyone was happier.
@@fioreferrari9239its majority restricted to ugly people or men, the reason for that is pretty simple and the easiest way to explain that is to be a female on tinder compared to a man.
@@fioreferrari9239it uniquely affects men
2008 is about the time social media, and the internet in general, really took off and now it's been long enough that an entire generation of people have basically grown up on it. If they look at female depression rates, you see a very similar pattern across that same period of time to the one about male virginity. Those three things correlating with each other is not "just a coincidence."
Agreed. Original IPhone: June 2007
Yeah agreed. There were some experiments before that were ok but not that popular like myspace or skype or ... forgot the other green thingy whatever, but around that time is when Facebook really became a household name and EVERYONE had it and I remember in highschool you were very strange if you did not have an account. There were attempts of social media before that but they never reached the level facebook did and the rest is history.
@@endefisto123its funny how myspace was creative open with freedom and expression. Meanwhile facebook is and was just a scroll boring robot. People get told and taught to prefer facebook. My space was definately more interesting and fun. Like designing your iwn room webpage n stuff. So i thing face books designed helped perpetuate alot of issues and views. I tefuse to use social media. It really messes with you
100%. I’ll be honest, even UA-cam is complicit. I’d be a lot happier if I weren’t addicted to having content shoved into my face. I’ll probably snap one day and go full monk retreat to detox.
Facts
To me, the Jordan Peterson approach of cleaning your room and cleaning your life is what worked the best. Clean your environment, clean your body, clothes, etc. Get a hobby you like work on that hobby, get to know people with similar hobbies or interests, improve yourself bit by bit, step by step. Aim for something small, then once you achieved it aim for something a bit bigger, then repeat. It will improve your life a lot to have goals, hobbies and interests and work for/toward them.
So basically be normal and strive to do shit most people do naturally.
If thats what most people did we wouldn't be having this conversation to begin with. So it's definitely not most people.@@helmholtzthemulewatson4763
@@helmholtzthemulewatson4763 yes, but Jordan Peterson's target audience isnt normal people lol. and if normal people were willing to help those kind of men, then people like Jordan Peterson wouldnt exist. its a societal abandonment of those men.
Is get angry or break down in tears if someone disagrees with you one of the things you take from him? Peterson has had some very good points but also at the same time has some crappy takes which he defends with vagueness and psuedointellectualism.
He is a good clinical psychologist but he is also a weak man preaching about strength and stoicism.
@@nathanthom8176Jordan Peterson is imperfect and I don’t think that should be surprising to anyone. People that just naturally and effortlessly find contentment in life probably don’t spend much time thinking about and writing self help books that resonate with millions of troubled young men. But like you said, he makes some very good points. And I don’t know why you feel the need to crap on someone’s experience when they’ve found something that works for them.
3:06 "Let's see who dies first" Monster energy is not willing to work with me in any capacity. 😂😂😂
This one certainly hits home. I've had no IRL friends for as long as I've been alive. People thought I was ugly, I was awkard, and I was treated like an outcast by everyone in my early days. Now I'm in my mid to late 20's, and the isolation and solitude follow me on. Society points at people like me, and they call us "Basement dwelling losers." They make a mockery of who I am. They don't see that I am the person with a successful career, who regularily gets out to experience the world, who struggles to form any meaningful connections with anyone he meets. We're not basement dwelling losers. We're the people you wouldn't give a second glance to. I refuse to re-integrate into a society that hates the person I am, and seeks to take advantage of me with every turn I make.
It's so reassuring I'm not the only one
Just become a racial supremacist or similar, see they will treat you like you're one of them as long as you are one of them
@@Bawitdabadabangdadang
Good job proving his point lol
catboy avatar? loneliness deserved
If you are different than the people in your area, you should look elsewhere. Maybe you are just not made for your local culture, but you'd be very welcome somewhere else.
dude I'm a 31 yo single veteran. I don't have a single stress in my life that you described, and I've gone all hikikomori. It's not the life stressors, it's society and it's stupidity that makes us withdraw from it.
With all do respect to your service, I believe that social interaction is important for mental stability.
Having served and seen things that could have caused trauma your psychology may have already developed techniques to protect yourself from the negative effects of social trauma? And as such isolation is not as negatively impactful?
I am not a psychologist of course but it is an interesting theory
@@SneccTheSnake healthy interaction is beneficial, toxicity is not. If the society is being this way, then it’s absolutely the right thing to withdraw from it.
@@electro7762 I agree with the sentiment, but you actually do need some level of social interaction to not go completely fucking nuts. I'm not saying it needs to even come from relationships, but the guy is saying he's going into full isolation now hikikomori style. That's not something you should do.
This is it, isolation isn't what's hard, it's loneliness.
dude im a veteran too im 27 and I feel exactly the same... Yeah I interact with people here and there BUT for the most part I don't care because I can't stand all the drama and the BS that comes with society... id rather be alone than dealing with the BS I have in the past .. I found peace after getting out of the army even had a gf and she helped me refocus on my faith sadly it didnt work out but im in a significantly better place mentally than I was 5 years ago.. the army literally drained me as I'm sure the military drained you as well.. mentally and physically
32 and single. I've had 3 long term relationship, and I know I'm not perfect, but all three of them started becoming incredibly toxic and cruel towards the end of the relationships.
All they care about is comparing your relationship to other peoples relationships or ridiculous ones they see online or FB, where no one posts the bad stuff they deal with.
I've just become apathetic about dating. It sucks.
Not to sound cocky, but I'm above average looking imho. Maybe not a 9 or 10, but definitely above average. I make decent money, have my own car, a decent place. Its like you need to be making an insane amount of money and need to be a 9 or 10 for women to actually want it to work these days.
I could probably "hook up" with some women, but I have zero interest in that. Plus, I'm not big on hanging out at bars or using dating apps.
Women love to compare with other women, and that often makes them consider their man to be an Accessoire they can show around to boast among their friends. They do that because they feel inadequate, because the world keeps telling them that they are not perfect if they haven't done x, y, and z. And eventually they start to believe that. The only cure is to stay away from social media as far as possible.
you hit the nail on the head man, it's not that men aren't trying to not be lonely, it's that even when they succeed they're realizing their "achievement" of having a gf is not as great as they thought it would be, and that's the thing that truly makes you feel alone, is when you realize nobody really cares about you. That's also the difference between now and the past. I feel like women from previous generation put a lot more effort into the relationships previously, like made the man feel desired and like there was real love and connection there, like she was actually attracted. Nowadays finding a woman who's falling over for you, aka having real passion in the relationship is basically impossible unless you're a gazillionaire or famous, and even then, i bet those guys realize that the only reason they're getting women who show real desire for them is because of their money/fame and not because of who they are.
Im 33 and have been with to many women in my life, been there done that, married had threesomes, married in a threesome all the sh it ive dont. And im sorry to break to that AWALT.
Relationship between a men and a women its a parasitic relationship, where you has a host have to aways keep getting better and stronger so the parasite have her ever increasing demanding of "nutrients" fill.
You need to look at women the same way they see you a tool to achive something, in their case a set of moistured holes.
@@ArantyrDarkhand This is the dumbest comment I've ever gotten.
@@ArantyrDarkhand Yeah, nah. That's stupid "eye for and eye" bullshit that's only gonna dig us deeper. Let's not start dehumanizing and instead try and do the opposite instead, ye?
7:36 I think sins of a solar empire and metroid prime 3 and brawl came out in 2008 great year.
To me, modern society has been very harsh for men. We have to walk a very fine line to not only be attractive & make friends, yet also be strong enough not to have those things. These demands are exhausting. & often contradictory. You have to be strong, yet sensitive. Aggressive, yet use a light touch. Have standards, yet not be so judgmental. Be able to talk to women, yet be a good listener. Be self-sufficient, yet willing to help others. Be rich, yet willing to spend for your partner. Be edgy, yet down to earth. It’s exhausting. Especially for the younger generation who will from now on experience less & less IRL interactions than previous generations. At some point, these men can only take so much rejection. Which makes loneliness both an opiate & a depressant that recycles itself day after day. The expectations for the modern man appears only achievable by the most talented & luckiest among us. & even if one does conquer that mountain, there’s no guarantee of friends or a compatible partner. Why? (Insert any criticism of a man here) is why.
You have to be very lucky in your genes regarding mental illness and attractiveness and ohh… don’t dare to have any kind of trauma or not be confident.
Man, you have no idea how it felt all my women friend telling me about the social pressure of being a woman and not being allowed to talk just because I am a man and I have it on "easy mode".
I think the answer isn't obvious to most people. In some part at least, the causative agent is patriarchal norms and toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity causes issues like these cultural norms you have mentioned, where men are expected to suppress their emotions, appear strong and dominant, reject traits associated with "femininity". The pressure to conform to these norms can be exhausting, and may not reflect how we truly feel. I think those who advocate for a transition away from these things are going to help alleviate the suffering that men face
I'll be honest, if we take out your last two points and change talking to women to talking to people in general, your criteria just seems like the qualities of a normal decent person.
@@briotous8317 you ignore biology. More testosterone literally postpones such a thing as crying. Human males are supposed to be strong and dominant if they wanna breed and have success. The solution for men isn't to just be like women, unless of course it makes an individual man happy, but that doesn't say something about the general population. Note also how in non-Western countries most men just breed anyway and aren't showering emotion talk.
The internet absolutely ruined everything. I used to be sociable but then I attended high school online from grades 10-12 and completed my bachelor's online and now work remotely. No friends, no romantic experiences. Just video games.
That sounds like a dream come true!!! What job do you have?
My best friend was largely homeschooled, I was basically his only real life friend. He joined the military which traumatized him about human interaction, became a hermit from the gubbamint money and stopped being alive at 28 (heart attack)
For me it's the other way around. I was CRIPPLINGLY shy as a child and young teen, but the more I interacted with people on the internet the more confidence I gained in real life.
Everyone is different, and every different person has to contend with different circumstances. The internet didn't ruin anything, it just exacerbated already developing problems into full blown crises. It also gave access to the wealth of human knowledge to basically everyone.
@@babyduckling129 its fine until it isnt. I wish you the best in burning out from doing something fun for an extended period
@@20IA Wait, are you saying you want to burn out? Kinda reads you forgot a "not" there
And here I am demonstrating that, I forgot a "him". One could probably make a moderately profound point about me forgetting "him", but let's not go overboard here - my fingers are just too slow for my average IQ brain to keep up.
This ladies and gentlemen is exactly why you should avoid Twitter! 9 out 10 comments you see on that platform is either someone being negative about a situation or talking trash about other's.
Twitter is definitely something to avoid it can be a vary toxic environment
22:00
I can confirm that porn isn't the main reason.
I agree that porn skews your views toward the higher end of what women CAN look like without makeup, but I remember the 90s.
Somewhere between a third and half the women I'd meet in my little hodunk home town didn't wear makeup. Straight up, they would roll out of bed looking like Megan Fox in the first Transformers movie once they showered and the bedhead was straightened out.
And I know, because my mom was a social butterfly.
I remember getting dragged along to DOZENS of other women's homes, I've seen enough of their bathrooms to know that only about half of them even owned makeup.
I've even heard one of them say (and I quote) "that stuff's too expensive, just buy [brand name] facial cleanse and some good shampoo/conditioner without phosphates, that's all you need" to my mom.
They were fit, ate healthy foods, didn't eat excessively, and they took good care of their bodies.
They didn't look like a pimply teen by 28.
They didn't have a BMI higher than my weight on the scale like women do nowadays.
Beautiful women was the STANDARD back when I was a kid, and ugly women were generally either downright ancient great-grandmas or had some horrible genetic/birth defects.
But now that im an adult in the right age range to marry and support a family, women;
cake themselves in makeup, eat enough calories in one sitting to feed an entire vietnamese villiage for a week as if the only food group they know is Krispy Kream, and look like Gollum from LOTR.
as a sad and lonely male on the internet, I can confirm that we listen almost exclusively to video game soundtracks
Speak for yourself. I'm a sad lonely male on the internet and the only soundtrack I listen to is DOOM 2016.
@@Mr.N0B0DY.3D that's a video game soundtrack lol which I also bang all the time, so good taste there
@@LittlleJimmy941 its the only soundtrack I listen to is what I'm saying lol. Other than that I mostly listen to metal and grunge
Put on death metal and lift weights
@@DanXJ19 any death metal recs?
"I'm not saying your problems are getting solved, but at least they're taken seriously" - Bill Burr
Bill Based.
"how are you gonna buy a house if it's 600,000". That's easy, just don't buy coffee and save your money for 30 years and then when you're ready to buy a house it'll be 10x more than that
1:04:38 female friendships are very different and much more emotionally intimate than male friendships. Transmen have been socialized as girls to view a certain relationship as friendship, which is harder to build with men. I know this because, in the online community where I am more open about being a trans woman, the women or transmen there are much more emotionally supportive than my long-term, irl guy friends.
It's a volatile mixture of self loathing brough on by personal failings and being told by 85% of media and places you go that you aren't wanted or needed there. So a lot of people just say "fuck it, i don't need them either" and keep to themselves. It has less risk of being accused of harrasment or being unable to get a job and support yourself. Complicated issue
Ah yes dating apps have nothing to do with it, surely the fact that most girls want 6 feet tall guys cannot be a possibile cause of this. 😂
its baffling really, imagine you need someone to shoulder responsibility, but give them nothing but scorn or indifference in return, and then act surprised when they eventually stop engaging and just start living day to day for themselves.
Society: "put your hand on the stove!"
Men: "why?"
S: "because I said so!"
M: "what do i get for it?"
S: "the privilege of burning yourself for my benefit!"
M: "no, I think ill go home, play Xbox and jerk off 20 times for a virtual girl that at can't hate me instead, thanks"
S: "what?! how dare you?!"
S: "where have all the good men gone?!"
@@ghevisartor6005 Man, I wonder where those legendary women are, cause either I'm extremely lucky to mostly meet women without height requirements, or you're extremely unlucky. Like I always hear about it, but only from men
@@Foxtrox7616It's almost like women can lie to virtue signal 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
@@ghevisartor6005 I’m 6’3 my dude, being tall is only a small factor, and unless you are top tier in literally every other regard (fitness, wealth, personality, handsome looks) you’re not gonna do good on dating apps regardless.
I’m 25, haven’t dated since 2018 and quite frankly, I’m done. Dating is not worth it. I feel so much happier doing what I want when I want and not having to worry about another person. I have one good friend and that’s enough for me
The hardest thing for me in life after highschool was just watching all my friends that I was friends with for my entire childhood-growing up go there separate ways. Everyone tried to stay in touch but after 10 years since I’ve graduated I’m only in consistent contact with 2 who each live in different parts of the country. For me, it’s been almost impossible to find a new group of friends like I had and as a result I find my self with not many “real” friends. I had a girlfriend for long time but that has come to an end recently and now I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am 100 percent socially awkward now and just struggle in general. Dating seems unknown to me now and i just have a hard time trying to make friends because typically people. always go their own way and I get it but it sucks and I have a hard time trust people that they actually care.
I know it won't make you feel better but I'm the exact same boat. Always had a decent sized friendship group that has just drifted away over the years. I was in a long term relationship so didn't even notice too much until last year when we broke up and I realised I'm pretty much completely alone. I just go to work and come home to an empty apartment, don't really know where to meet friends and no idea about dating as it's the first time being single as an adult and dating apps seem like cancer on the few times I tried lol
Too tired to write all that stuff, but i’m also the same as you guys. Just started full time and coming back home to absolutely no one, I just feel devoid of any emotions, i could literally die tomorrow, and ofc I’d be sad knowing i’d left my family behind and the few hobbies I had but that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I dont really know if this really is gonna help you but it helps me, might seems it has nothing to do with this but it helps me and is what my dad teatchs me, learn to meditate, in nowdays meditation its really understimated and have a strong potential to make you really happy (dont confuse happiness with pleasure),it doesnt have to be too much time, at least 5 or 10 minutes at days and it will surprise you how it order your thoughts and your life, again i dont know if this is gonna help you but it really helps me, i can say i am truly happy with the person i have become but it have to start from your very inside or the changes are only gonna be superficial.
I don't know whats changed in us in the last 100 years as men, but maybe we are just set up to fail these days. I was a in a bad place myself for many years after high school. i watched every person i was friends with or had a crush on get married, have kids, move away...spent years without contact from even people i would consider my close friends today...I'm married now, but its not like i am that much happier, i just learned to accept that i have to make my own happiness (its not easy). Looking back , i wish i had been part of a group of some kind that would've forced me to be more social. I think there's needs to be more man oriented clubs for guys looking for something to do on the weekend after highschool or college...something with organization and activities, where you can meet friends, learn some life skills, social skills, have fun and forget about stuff for a couple hours a week. The best advice i can give is make yourself the most important person in your life first, always look out for yourself, care for yourself, find hobbies that reinforce that sense of self worth, and try to get others involved in those hobbies. Making friends over common activity is 10x easier than trying to do it thru just conversation alone.
From what I have observed, real friendship doesn't really exist. All friendship is a product of circumstance (you're currently working together) and/or shared interests that have the ability to bring you together (e.g. you like watching anime together). Once one or both of those things disappear, the friendship fizzles out quietly and that's that.
I am in contact with exactly zero school friends these days and only a handful of old colleagues which I keep alive buy having weekly get togethers to watch shows and get Uber Eats together which I generally have to instigate/prompt for or it might just not happen.
Man, Asmon is a pretty sharp dude. He makes some excellent points here. I laughed every time he called something and then Shoe immediately addressed it after he unpaused. Great video from Shoe, and some great further expansions on the issue by Asmon. Men are really struggling right now, and it just feels like society simply doesn't give a fuck, collectively. This isn't a new issue. Men have been committing suicide in huge numbers for over 30+ years, and even before that were more likely to make attempts.
society never gave a fuck. internet just let men compare notes and find that they are not a unique case as they though
@@Aiveq Agreed. Men were for dying on wars, women were for making more men to die in wars. That is the view governments have had for millennia. Human life has only pretty recently gained significant value.
@@TheManyVoicesVA how did you manage to make this about woman? Tf does you die in a war have to do with women blame the government, which is mostly male
40:13 Nailed it
Also men are now avoiding women in the workplace. There'd a reddit post describing this, and the woman is considering reporting the man to hr for not including her more. The problem isn't how many women falsely accuse men, it's how innocent men are still guilty even when proven innocent. At best you can find a tiny handful of men who come out on top, on a mountain of men still suffering from being falsely accused if they're still alive.
The real problem is that in the vast majority of cases of SA or a false accusation it's simply not possible to prove someone guilty or innocent. For the mountain of men suffering after being falsely accused there is a way bigger mountain of women who have been assaulted and haven't seen justice. It's a problem that's hurting both men and women and it's not simple to deal with.
@@Kyuupire To the women being assaulted I will respond in the same way women do to men: "Cope and seethe"
We have a presumption of innocence in our justice system to avoid the government being able to imprison everyone it wants on trumped up charges. It's the lesser of two evils. If women wanted to be believed in all circumstances, rout out the liars among you.
@@Kyuupire as true as that is that both the legal system and society majorly fail both men and women, the only differences I'm seeing is only one of them has a legal guaranteed way for them to receive sympathy from being harmed, the other is still assumed to be guilty even when proven innocent. And when one group tries to make shelters they get called a hate group and often get shut down.
@@nobafan7515 There definitely is no guaranteed way for sympathy for victims of SA. Not for female or male victims. Victims are still often blamed for becoming a victim and with the increased public discourse about it, many are accused of making false accusations without anything having been proven or disproven.
And who is assuming men proven innocent to be guilty? With the small number of men who are actually proven innocent, I can't say I've really seen that be a big societal problem.
What kind of shelter are you referring to?
@@Bonesawisready926 Telling people who've been assaulted to simply cope is just so straight up void of any empathy or humanity that I will not even address it.
You misunderstand what believing every victims means, it doesn't relate to the presumption of innocence in the slightest. Believing someone that something bad has happened to them does not mean believing that someone else is guilty of harming them. Believe all women means supporting their recovery and not questioning whether they were actually harmed. This can be done without a court being involved and without believing anyone to be guilty. It's impossible to eradicate all possible lies from all of humanity, you know that yourself. It is possible to not let some people lying stop your empathy for everyone.
Ill be honest, i just want someone to give me a hug and tell me its gonna be alright. It probably bring a smile to my face for months. I cherish those moments because they are extremely rare
Why would you think they'd know if things are gonna be alright?
@@nonono9194 It's not about whether or not the person saying it knows that for sure, it's about the reassurance and emotional support.
@@kungfuvoodoo9889 for women that's understandable, but men, na that's weak
@@nonono9194wanting emotinal support as men does not necessary means he is weak. some people went through a lot or genetically depressed, they want someone or something to distract them from harsh reality.
@@CJ-io1mx na it does if that SOLVES your emotional problem as the OP said, nothing wrong with having times when you're down and want comfort off a partner or whatever, but a man solves problems to fight off depression or tragedy, a hug won't fix anything we're logical creatures more than emotional ones
To be honest it's not only the lack of a "North Star" but also the fact the more you learn ... the more depressing and hopeless things become. Ignorance is truly bliss ...
Majority of humans could work like mad and still be bound by life's demands, barely having time for social events.
It's cyclical, the more advanced countries get the more people suffer from lack of social interaction. It's wild because you'd expect the opposite to happen where technology frees us more and more to have time with family and friends.
Welcome to capitalism
At least we get to live. In a marxist state we'd be shuttled into gulags or forced to eat one another. No thanks. @@JoaoLucas-uu8rn
The internet was made to make the world a smaller place, but we became smaller for it.
this reminds me of a rick and morty reference where rick says 'the more you know about the universe the less it seems to matter'
Technology would free us more for time with family and friends but these benefits are hoarded by institutions and corporations that’s own everything
29:53 You know, simply being right-wing doesn't make a person a fascist/Nazi. Hell, the right-wing usually calls for the reduction of government involvement and control. That's the exact opposite of fascism. And, just to someone doesn't throw it back at me, I don't assume someone left-wing is automatically a socialist or communist.
37:35 Great idea. So how are you going to prevent humanity from dying out? Or is that your goal?
42:00 Perhaps, but there's a couple good reasons for that. First, driving in a car is such a standard way to travel that we just don't think about that. Second, people have control over how the car moves (normally) but are at the mercy of the pilot(s) in a plane. Finally, if a car breaks down, we're able to walk on the road, but if a plane breaks down, we're not able to fly in the air.
1:02:56 Well, yeah, that's just how politics is. Ultimately, we're all nothing more than a vote to be cast. Even the few politicians that actually do care about and want to help people have to get elected first, so they have to adopt that mentality every election.
1:03:34 I don't know about psychotic, but certainly sociopathic (which is only a couple steps behind psychotic, but still).
Asmon, you are an entertainer. People want to be friends with you. And even if they don’t you are used to talking about things continuously, so they don’t feel that awkward silence of grasping for things to say.
You are probably one of the people who has the easiest time making friends.
Your view on that is warped by, at minimum, this very job.
Maybe try going outside and talking to people. I'm 5'6", introverted, and not the best looking but not ugly, and I have almost 0 problems talking to women and making friends.
@@doctorbootstrapjohn I personally don't any problems in that area, I'm just saying the wealthy investor saying it's not so hard to the destitute is a bad look.
Stop taking the poor me attitude and get outside. You just gotta do it like Nike said
@@270eman You didn't read my reply to the last guy, did you?
WOAH bro I mean like...touch grass, I mean like....WOAH. It's so obvious bro. When I made my first $million m life coach told me this, I mean...catch up bro.
@34:50 the problem is all men are getting blamed for the actions of the top 10-15% of men in the dating pool.
Only 10% are dating. These guys are players and wom love them.
Waiting for "How the male loneliness epidemic affects women the most"
It’s coming in the next episode of clown ball z
"Comet hits earth and annihilates human species... women most affected"
As a man you just gotta learn to laugh at the goofiness of modern women.
This shit right here is why you're lonely in the first place
@@SuperAaronx3 You have anything helpful to say?
You ever see the headline that say 1/4 homeless are women. I'm over here like well that's an interesting way to say 75% of homeless are men.
"people have been bred for millions of years to be cruel" makes me think of a couple different things. like the expression "the worst people ruin it for the rest of us". also the general concept of rules and laws to begin with. if a rule exists, it's happened enough times to be proven too harmful to be continued.
i've been told the 3 necessities for happiness a while back and i think they were something like relationships, something else i forget and a goal to strive for. putting aside my awful memory, most guys might only have 1 of 3, let alone all 3. on that note, perhaps the reason andrew tate is so popular is because "becoming a man" is strongly desired to work toward. it may also play into the human nature of addiction, seeing as how it's basically like a reward dangling in front of you, forever just slightly out of reach.
I remember standing outside and smoking, back in eleventh grade, and two girls were passing by. One of them turned to me and said: “boy those are some amazing legs you have” (I’ve been dancing for approx 3 years by now). It’s almost ten years since then, and I still remember that vividly, feeling so.. I dunno, flattered? I wish I was catcalled more, tbh 😢 just an embodiment of meme “guys remembering that one random compliment till the day they die”
Girl: *gives a compliment to a guy*
Guy: *who got the compliment for the first time in his life* "I MUST marry this woman".
I worked so hard in the gym for years and would get compliments all the time by other dudes. The one time a woman complimented me it was my eyes not my body lol
Had a conversation with my sister, who is considered hot by many standards, but due to me knowing her and also being her brother, I see mostly as a rotten being I wouldn't even consider dating.
Anyway, me, her and my mother were talking about things and she started complaining how tiresome it was to receive so many compliments. I asked her if she'd rather receive no compliments and she said yes. I replied that she should stop posting her life on social media for likes then and she coudln't rebute that. Then I turned to my mother, who I know isn't receving a lot of attention from men and ask her. "Mom between getting too much compliments or none at all which one would you pick. She didn't even bat an eye looking at my sister and saying. "I'd rather all the compliments."
Meanwhile as you say, years and years later we'll remember a good compliment from a stranger, especially women. We can be in the pit of despair about to just decide to make that one decision you can't come back from and you remember one moment, one compliment and suddenly that extra push is all you need to get through. Women will never understand that.
@@francois9018 :: honestly...it kind of depends? i know a difference between a compliment and a creepy catcall. compliments just have that sincere undertone to them while catcalls are just...crass. they feel more like the guy or girl instigating them is just...idk, being gross.
i have no clue what's going on with your sister, or you ( like bro, we're strangers on the internet and idk what she's implying when she says compliments...she might need to work on that ), but i do hope you and your mom are doing well. you seem like a nice guy ( and considering i live in a household where seeing guys care for their moms is rare ), it's nice to see.
@@lythrum2081 The issue with my sister, and many girls like her. Is that they are so used to receiving compliments that they are tired of it. It means that the only compliments they'll tolerate are from other equally or higher on the scale of attraction. Any one else is basically seen as a hindrance or unwanted.
We see this many times nowadays, if you look at all the hr calls and what not. Its not even about if the guy is hot or not in some point. It could be simply be due to the time of the month, the way she feels, the tone as you say or simply maybe the guy pissed her off somehow so the next time he pays a compliment she lashes out.
Idk this is why I rarely talk or compliment to girls now, I'm average and most girls don't see me as anything else then muscle to move their shit, solve their problems or in some cases a threat. The last bit is what really kind of gets me, to the point where I have to make it obvious that me just standing there, doesn't mean I'll jump them.
to be lonely is better than being with the wrong people
Then find the right people they won’t come to your gaming dungeon buddy
Most people are pretty alright
@@nexstbob6911 my gf did 🤷♂️
It’s better than being with almost anyone
Being with the wrong people builds character. You are all too weak to try and fail like the people you look towards. You have to take risks.
Little sidenote, I agree that the "hermit" side of being a hikikomori isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the real problems are that:
1- many people choose that lifestyle because they feel it's the only safe space they can have and are scared shitless of the outside, usually because of bullying (which can get crazy in Japan, I'm talking psychotic levels) or other trauma, so you could even say that it's not a choice but that their only other option would be suicide (at least in their mind)
2- these people usually end up being "parasites" for their families since they tend to be NEETs as well
i blame hyper sensitivity of the internet for the first point. say something the hivemind doesn't agree with and you need to get "cancelled". like stop being a goddamn killjoy. i had to send someone my skin image THREE different occasions because they thought i was saying nigga without being black.
@alphenhousplaysgames4565 well I guess the pass is kinda pointless if it never has to be checked. /s
But yeah that's stupid as hell.
@@alphenhousplaysgames4565for the first point, its somewhat of a thing even before the internet exists.
It's not always that people who want to be alone hate people. Sometimes it's just people who hate modern society and don't want to be here when shit goes completely off the rails
Shoe: It makes a really memorable and unique gift for a loved one
Also Shoe: Men have no loved ones
Sponsorships love their prewritten copy paste scripts
I stoped arguing with my own mother and sister about "men are bad". I argued that it's bad to regroup all bad apple in the same sack and label all men as pigs because it reduce all the other good men to nothing and pushes those ones to act badly, that it makes me feel less as a "man" (and by addition as a Human), but they say "it's not the same, you are my son/brother", as if I'm not a man, making it worse (now that I'm writing this, it may be why I'm feeling more and more like shit and in part unable to have social interaction...)
I’m so sorry. That must be terrible.
Some people are just stuck in their ways, and don’t understand how or why others think the way they do.
If you’ve told them about how what they say about men makes you feel, and yet they still do this, they are some of those people.
Niether you nor ‘all men’ are the problem, here. It seems kind of like they are taking out their personal problems on everyone, and not paying any attention to how you feel about it.
I’m genuinely sorry, and hope that they stop and understand you, and that you feel better in the future.
@@MollyMargolisBillCipherIsBae thanks, but I also stopped partially because like you said, I know they both had and heard bad experiences with some pigs, so I don't really blame them, it seams to be normal human behaviour to see a group of people as bad when you had/heard repeated bad behaviour from members of said group, I still love them as much as before though
@@Silails When that group of people is responsible for 90% of the murders and SA no matter what country you live in, it's kind of hard not to notice the difference. When people say "women this and men that", they're rarely talking about "all" of that group.
No one wants to constantly preface "not all" when they're making basic generalizations. If your story is indeed true, I would assume they're trying to enforce in you how not to act since you're a male. But if that's how they're going about it that's not the way to do things. Regardless, no one can "make you" act like a violent shlthead by simply stating they think your group is bad, even if they specifically say "no I mean ALL of you are bad I'm not just generalizing"... If you resort to violence because you heard that then you were already a violent person to begin with.
Cut people out who you think don't add anything to your life all you like, but don't make excuses for shlt behavior.
@@FoxBlack. That's a pretty fucked up way to see humans, from what I gather you're trying to say, some people are born violent and some not, and it's not a result of growing in "the wrong household", they are "fated" to be bad? School shooters are born school shooters for you then? It's not because they were conditioned to break?
I'm not defending any one here (bad actors should be held accountable for their act, no matter their upbringing, they should have been helped sooner, society should have saved them before it's too late, it's our mission to make people feel included and secure), just trying to understand what you're trying to say
@@FoxBlack.Ol, I am confused? can you make it more simpler? And do you side with him or his mom/sister?
A big problem no one talks about is that what women claim they want on the internet is totally different from what women want in reality. This is why so many guys have trouble talking to women, they're terrified of being exposed as a creep
true, and goes the same for dudes, a lot of what they claim they want on the internet is very different to what they would find appealing in reality
you dont ask fish how to catch fish, it just doesnt work that way
They're people. Talk to them as you would anyone else. Learn about them and find out about them as indviduals. Stop assuming all women want the same things. The way you've worded this gives the impression that you treat women as a different spieces rather than a person with interests and hobbies and thats how you bond. Not every man wants the same thing not every woman wants the same thing
Basically for your own good stop generalising and stereotyping based on gender and just talk a out your interests and ask questions about what they like and if you have a bond you have a bond. It may be friendship it may be more - there is no one size fits all approach and many find that line of thinking a red flag and iff putting which is why people playing 'the nice guy' is so off-putting as it feels like someone is laundry lost checking off criteria rather than presenting their true selves or indeed legitimately bonding. I say this as a guy btw
All women don't want all men to be a certain way. ofc the less creepy would generally be better but just find common interests and things you might enjoy together. I think its the worst when you start dating a guy and he starts pulling out f-boy tactics and then throws a tantrum when you're turned off. Sounds dumb but fr just be yourself so you'll find someone that actually likes YOU.
Agreed. Women don't give a F about men's feelings. Women want someone who can provide, protect, and provision.
Im a 37 year old female, and i have been lonely with no children. I feel like the men disscussed in her video. We are starting to have a rise of single and childless women as well. We are staring to have an epidemic of no birthrate and people not sociolizing or marrying. People are heading towards a society of isolated people and minimal sociolizing
As a member of the demographic the Shoe video refers to, i can only plead that you focus on other topics. She seems to actually understand and care, and i get a very different feeling from you. The loneliness becomes a problem when it's not what you want, but your mind has no tools to change it, and your life experiences have taught you that trying only ends with you being disappointed in yourself. Also, so many comments here say "just get out there" or something similar, but for some of us "out there" is like a psychological horror VR game where all the people are pre-recorded holograms. Edit: I have a few close friends, can't even imagine how much shittier it would feel to be utterly alone all the time.
I pray you never experience real horror; as it seems you'll fucking explode at the seams when faced with something actually becoming of the word.
The only way someone can wind up with this viewpoint is in a nearly complete and total vacuum of suffering and adversity.
It's okay to fuck up. It's okay to say weird shit. It's okay to make bad jokes. It's not okay to act like you're the first fucking person to have ever experienced these "failures".
>The loneliness becomes a problem when it's not what you want, but your mind has no tools to change it, and your life experiences have taught you that trying only ends with you being disappointed in yourself
If I was the ghost of christmas past and could take you back through every single "fuck up", how easy would it be for me to unfuck literally every single situation? how many completely unrecoverable and unwinnable situations have you actually been subject to as opposed to an accumulation of minor failures and mishaps that you let knock you down as if they were your daughter being diagnosed with untreatable cancer?
Both the right and left are guilty of giving brain dead advice completely devoid of nuance and individuality.
"your" specific "issue" is likely highly personalized and you will need therapy ranging from mild to intense depending on how long you were allowed to have these ass backwards thought patterns reinforced without consequence.
Making a lot of money and working 60-65 hours a week helps.
"She seems to actually understand and care, and i get a very different feeling from you."
I agree with this and the statement preceding it.
Unlike some extremely uneducated pricks who also commented, I understand from experience that the male loneliness epidemic has nothing to do with men's choices. We can't make a series of choices that forces other people to open up to strangers.
I am funny, charming, attractive, tall, and extremely lonely. Everyone I've ever tried to make friends with is either so debilitated by their own loneliness that interacting with them is hardly bearable (and yes, I recognize that I likely fit into that category as well) or their lives are already so full that they don't have the ability to make new friends. That is a consequence of an extreme imbalance in society itself, and I alone have no power to fix that. Even if I wanted to, I'm too busy taking care of myself to get major change like that accomplished. We're all so overworked, overtaxed, overstimulated that we can barely think about anyone we don't absolutely have to. Let's not blame men for the circumstances that society placed them into, shall we?
@@akaku9 - take a step back. It's pretty cringe to come on here and start gatekeeping life's hardships and how they affect people. You know jack squat about the OP, and you're not qualified to weigh in on their position.
Just go outside lol 4Head
“Women say you can be emotional with me but when i display emotion they dont respect me” pretty much describes my previous relationship
Same here man. If you want to hear the most blackpilling shit let me share my story.
No idea how I pulled this girl. I was a piece of shit yet she loved me a lot. I didn’t treat her right, and she even caught me online talking to other women (This was many years ago I’ve matured since then)
But nothing I did seemed to sway our relationship. We always made up and felt like we were stronger than before.
When i planned to enlist in the military she even vowed to wait for me and that we’d make it work. Until one day I opened up to her about some PTSD I had and broke down crying like a bitch in front of her.
She broke up with me 1 week before i shipped off to basic training. Never talked to a woman about my trauma since. *That* was the thing that finally made her cut off contact
@@MrBigBazinga fucking crazy story man im sorry you had to go through that… but a lesson learned none the less right?
It’s a trap 🤷♂️ never do it, if you must be in a relationship. They’ll just use it against you when you breakup anyway. Save yourself the stress.
You deserve better than her, and most *are* better.
@@SigFigNewton oh look, a trap
I am a female who is far more social than most people I’ve met online and offline. Because of my hobby preferences (hardcore gaming), I have mostly male friends.
In my experience men have shallower and far fewer friendships. The lack of control over their social networks, often including their own children is a problem we should all be working to heal.
It’s not a surprise to me when I first heard that men’s suicide rate is so much higher than women’s (6:1 in some places). When a woman is in a desperate situation, she goes to her friends. When a man is in a desperate situation, he does what he’s always done; solve it himself.
We (particularly women) need to support men.
This ending is the reason for the suicides. Women get support from women and men. Men only get support from men. And well, biologically men are not the best emotional support systems. Women are. So when you have women ignoring men and shunning them, you have men who feel this way - and then they talk about it together because they got through the same shit,
Good on you, please keep spreading the message :)
Thanks for the support.
But if you don't mind, as a male and thinking about it for several years, I came to the realization that the majority of woman do not think like you. If I could give you a advice, is to be kind with your actual good friends that have been nice to you. You can help them and make their lives better (as I hope they also make your life more enjoyable), because changing society about that issue is already a lost cause.
Also a second advice: a lot of men don't actually like to talk directly about their issues or when someone solve stuffs for them, what we most appreciate is just someone that can understand when we have some issue and be there with us. We can actually solve most of the issues ourselves if we just the motivation for it, we just don't because we think it wouldn't worth it, because nothing/no one would be on the other side for us.
@@ConanOG A cause is only lost when people give up on it. I've changed the minds of many people, and I will continue to do so.
Who is better to change the minds of women than other women?
"solve it myself" / "suck it up"... yeaaa that hits too close to home
I feel so fucking detached from the mindsets of other people in their late 20s early 30s. My family wonders why I don't have any significant other and it's mostly because I can't relate or connect with any of them. I was a part of a wedding party earlier this year and the groom left me with the bride and bridesmaids at the restaurant and I had my first experience with an anxiety attack in that situation.
That's normal. I got mega anxiety attacks in seemingly benign situations like work or around others. Just know that it does NOT stay like that for very long. My fear of being embarrassed or appearing as a doofus was crippling. Accept the fact that you'll be a cringelord for awhile and realize everyone in the world will forget the moments you worry about. The Internet is an infinite well of humanity acting awkward and anxious in uncomfortable situations. It's what we are, and for the most part people don't really care.
Don't beat yourself up about it and don't fall for the 'i have anxiety because I might get a panic attack' mind-fck.
There is a legion of men like you and me everywhere experiencing that same shit. It's mostly just a phase, and not what you actually are.
I recommend cutting the idea of anxiety out of your vocabulary, I've noticed the only people that seem to experience it are people that constantly talk about it, I think it reinforces the idea that you have anxiety in your mind and make non-traumatic experiences feel traumatic
@@Sacrosanctelite This was the first time I have ever had this problem spike like that. In my daily live I am not anxious from social situations. I know that my brain just kinda went haywire from being in a situation I didn't want to be in or had anyway of coping with.
@@JakeDaines I don't feel this is a phase. I generally don't care how people perceive me when I know I will never see them again. But I have always felt like an outsider growing up. I have a handful of people I socialize with regularly but outside of that I don't feel like I have any common interests that justify talking to others.
@@jakedoe698 not being able to relate and having anxiety attacks are VERY different things. You probably need help with the latter more than the former.
It's like that one comic where top panel it's a hot dude flirting with the female coworker and she's blushing. Bottom panel is the same situation, but with an ugly dude and the girl is calling HR to file sexual harassment.
It's only convenience
I'll never understand people who feel "all men" or "all women" lump into a singular bad bucket. There are all sorts of people in the world with varying levels of goodness and nastiness regardless of gender.
Not saying it's right, but I've been there, and I totally get it. You can call it psychological projection, Freudian displacement, cognitive distortion, etc.
tell me about it. it's the social media women. the tiktokers and the dating apps ones lol
@kippkipper4126yes but good women cannot control or nether are responsible for what bad ones do
It's not all men, it's just a lot among those who do nothing and blame victims, claiming women are at fault for everything despite them only having been able to do things like vote or own a house for less than 100 years and attacking human rights.@kippkipper4126
It’s the same with toxic masculinity/femininity, like people gotta realize that toxic traits are genderless. Pieces of shit exist in all shapes colors and sizes
Tbh, I never wore watches until my mid 20's. There's an air of legitimacy and professionalism that comes with wearing one.
*based*
Start wearing one solid for a few weeks. Then take it off, you’ll be surprised how many times you look at your wrist and go “oh man, I guess I do use that thing.”
Instead of pulling your phone out of your pocket for the 100th time in a day
Withdrawing from society is the best thing I've ever done 😅😂
Until you die and have no way to pass your worldly possessions on to anyone. They either die with you, get destroyed, get abandoned, or the government takes them. I think that's the thing that worries me the most.
@@_V1LKA5_ That's not any of my concern honestly. Eventually everything will be returned back to the universe, it's just a matter of when, whether that be now or a million years from now it's all the same. Just enjoy the life you're given and if that leads to you leaving something behind for others to take then cool, if you leave nothing behind, (something which never happens as there is always someone, related or not, that will turn what you had into something else) who cares? You can no longer enjoy the fruits of your labor once you're dead anyway, so just live and enjoy life while you're alive. Not everything needs to have some grand purpose...at least thats how I feel about it.
@@saltshaker6002 Well said it's just I'd rather have piece of mind knowing that the stuff I once had is in good hands and can then be passed on to the next generation long after.
@@_V1LKA5_ We'll all be living under commie dictatorships with no private wealth soon anyway.
Women will figure it out eventually
Even if they do it they won't care
I mean if women can make money by these sites that charge you... They've already snagged 10000000 guys and are making more money than the average working man in their lifetime.
They shouldnt men are twice as strong and dont have to worry about raising babies.
You should beat most females in income.
You have time but most men dont realize time and most jobs being strength based carried them.
@@optimizefine3104its about not feeling like you have a purpose in life and dont want to get trapped by a boring job for 40 years to retire
When they're old and alone and their ovaries have dried up.
The idea that you have to be important in order to live a good life is insane and if you buy in to it your life will likely end up a lot worse than it really is.
I was raised on the idea that we need to be happy that we're alive and we have people around us that love us.
That is enough.
it is not enough. you will see when you're older.
Life without purpose is not life.
What about if you don’t have people around you that love you?
@@talhaahmed2130 Men's job is to BUILD a family. YOU have to become a Man worthy of a family to have one in the first place. Become stronger physically\mentally and wealthier so you can create or find a family. That is the single purpose of a man. To Build and create family. What that family is, is up to you. But work on yourself before you look for or create that family.
@refugeehugsforfree4151 Ok? So everyone can be rich and successful no matter where and how you're born. Right? Or is there more to it I wonder.
@8:38 FRFR and the only thing you get is more xp and no loot so you can go grind again tomorrow only harder + agro
Tbh, I'm not a romantic type. I'm very happy being a total hermit. People let me down all across the last decade. As I got older. I started to truly value the peace that comes with a quiet home.
I live alone for 10 years, most interactions with people is work/ games. Its a peacefull live. I dont care anymore.
@@szaka9395 I have a great relationship but can't help but miss that peacefulness sometimes... Something I need to figure out and navigate
yep thats me. screw the ppl focus on yourself
idc if i became a psyho i wont stop myself unless i will hurt someone. i only fear losing control. not even God. God for me is the main goal in life. but with bad thoughts and sadist passions i wont have much choice. only real lovely person will change me. for now i care for myself,familly and my friends only. i dont include any girl from rl in that. or maybe only 1 friend but not my gf
@@szaka9395 thats good stuff. i love games as well. im also interested in many other things that i do alone. i even care more about characters ai than real life girls LMAO
Asmongold is the only reaction channel who can make a 10-minute video an hour long.
While giving his own shitty takes.
his takes are good mostly idk what your doing @@Jabrownie23
@@ThatHitman47 i mean.. some are intentionally kinda shitty to be funny 😂
well fair i dont normally agree 100%with anyone and i might not have seen the really shitty takes all that much too@@ayelmao42069
Not the only one in czechia we have streamer who can do 4 hours reaction on 20 to 30 mins video
I'm not dropping $300 on a date.
No, I do not want to take care of your kids after someone else made them and ghosted.
I am not an ATM and not a simp, don't expect me to pay your bills.
Brainwashed by social media who has never approached a normal girl in real life don’t type you wouldn’t date yourself bud first fix yourself and then look for a partner
@nexstbob6911 that's awfully presumptuous of you isn't it?
@@nexstbob6911 yup, social media made a lot of men believe that women only want them for their money and that a regular date would cost $300.
This right here man. This why you are single.
If all men had this attitude our society would be markedly better.
There is nothing toxic about masculinity, but there is something called behavioral problems. You don't become toxic just because you have a certain level of masculinity.
"Wait until you're 33." Yup, I'm 33, and Asmongold is right. The difference between 23 and 33 is so damn vast when it comes to what you want socially. At this point I feel like I'd be better off as a eunuch, or getting snipped. Tired of having a metaphorical gun to my head brought on by balls.
I saw a post once that went something like "Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you've skipped the tutorial and you're just sort of running around with no idea how anything works.
Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you've figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you're supposed to be doing."
@@Nick-mc9et Yeah I'd say that's relatable. But in my case I went to the tutorial (college) only to realize what a giant waste of time it was. I learned a few things I don't think I would've learned elsewhere but the VAST majority, I could just pull from the internet for free instead of wasting money.
Fuck degree requirements.
@@DarksideGmss0513 And by 40 you realize everything you know is wrong and your entire world inverts. I know, you don't believe it. You're still innocent. One day it will happen and you won't even realize it until you look back on the things you used to hold dear and cringe out of your own skin.
Hell, I'm 31 and I'm already vastly different from when I was 23, or even my late twenties.
I think a big problem is that many people mistake being emotionally numb with being stoic. What used to be a silent cry for help became a behaviour to praise and make others follow even if the person in question is actually in pain.
Stoics do have emotions they just dont let them control them.
I don’t think classic stoicism is a cry for help at all. I believe that no more than three generations ago people had to deal with a lot more shit. They had a great globe spanning depression, two world wars, and a word rapidly changing due to technological advances. People then needed a harsher way to cope with an even harsher world that threw millions of lives away. The old harsh ways of pre industrial life were still very much common in many parts of the western world. Now we have such a different way of doing things we’re faced with a dilemma of not only a changing society but a culture as well. It’s time for something new and different built for a modern people. Stoicism has its place sure, but it needs to be viewed more as an acquired trait over a learned one. Openness shouldn’t be shamed and neither should silence, both of these need to respected as a personal choice of coping.
@@jankjaws9815 I didn't mean stoicism is any problem, that's my point. People mistake these two states, someone emotionally numb is mistakenly seen as stoic
@@jankjaws9815
The world is burning and all the animals are going extinct.
There is no way previous generations had it harder
@@jankjaws9815 I think the problems that the modern generations have and those previous ones had are two entirely different animals that are kind of hard to compare.
The 3 nearly universal issues in the past were high mortality (especially for youth), poor living conditions, and minimal to no education.
The modern ones are somewhat harder to define, but the biggest ones imo are the feeling of social isolation, the feeling that nothing you do has any meaning, and the state of being aimless.
The problems that were in the past were tangible in a way (at least easy to define and see) while the ones going on today are almost purely emotional, being really hard to notice within other people unless you have a high degree of empathy or are skilled socially, which in some ways makes them a lot harder to deal with.
Got in a dark place in my early 20s, worked 6 days a week 2nd shift, left work just pissed everyday, locked myself away for over a year, didnt talk to anyone. Got to a point i needed to talk to someone and fix myself or it was gonna get darker. Early jordan peterson talks and getting real helped me pull myself into at least not a constant depression.
I'm glad you took the initiative to get better. I'm proud of you. ♡
Congrats man getting yourself out of that dark place on your own strength.
Was similar but ended up finding my wife and that kinda saved me from a very dark path.
@@zogwort1522indeed you are
You have amazing fucking potential
I'm single and sort of lonely in a way. I just find that my few friends are always seemly too busy to hang out. We live in a society where everyone seems too busy with work or their own personal life stuff. That's just my perspective. It's that, or they're not actually friends, I think it's both.
AI is going to make this even worse.
Imagine having a boyfriend or girlfriend that doesn't age, unconditionally loves you and can look like whomever you want. It's already heading that way and it's only matter of time really.
you mean better
That sounds great.
i mean it'll probably be great but also make one hell of a shitstorm from people complaining that nobody wants to deal with other human partners anymore.
@@riel7387 The complainers can deal with each other.
Women wouldn't want AI boyfriends, they're too perfect, too little drama