It’s such a crazy sentence because pregnancy and having babies is so…mundane? While it is special to the people going through it, it’s not exactly a riveting phenomenon. Literally millions of people get pregnant and have kids. I don’t even care if a celebrity I like gets pregnant and has a kid. That’s just kind of par for the course for human existence.
and especially because he was thinking this -BEFORE THEY WERE ACTUALLY PREGNANT-. Like... he's planning a pregnancy for clout. That's just absolutely vile. It didn't even occur to him that "hey this is an actual new life you're working on here man" until she's literally already pregnant.
I know I'm nittpicking here, but them lip synching "Love is an open door" isn't nearly as cutesy as they think it is. The song by itself is cute enough, but in the context of the film it's in, it's about a villain suckering the heroine with a faux nice guy personality and the whole scene is full of hints and double entendres hinting at his true nature-- actually wait, maybe this fits perfectly.
right? It's literally a man manipulating an incredibly sheltered (and love-starved) woman by playing on her trauma and hopes. It's just crazy how on the nose it is, but then it always does kind of feel like guys like him have to hide little easter eggs in the things they do that say "heh, this is who I really am, and I'm laughing at you for not seeing it"
Even if Hans' persona was real, it would still be bad because they'd both be two barely-adults settling for the first eligible person of the opposite gender out of sheer desperation for love and wanting to escape the oppression of their strict class expectations. Not healthy!
Sam just focusing on Nia's looks is giving that scene in the Swan Princess where Odette asks Derek "what else do you like about me besides my looks" and he says "what else is there?"
It's just so telling that when worrying about his Ashley Madison account being revealed Sam thinks to himself "I've turned into the exact kind of person I never wanted _people to think I was_ ". Not the exact kind of person he never wanted to _be_ , no, he's totally okay with being a terrible person so long as no one ever sees him for what he really is
Something about the way he speaks about what happened tells me he takes no actual blame, made no real changes, and will cheat on her again the second the opportunity of doing it without getting caught arises.
It reminds me of that hilarious video of an aussie woman who talks about her husband having a terrible accident just after their baby was born where he fell and landed in his coworker's vagina and he is still stuck there to this day. Except she was being ironic and Sam is deadly serious.
!! he seems to think everything is like a defamation of his character, but never seems to internalize that IS his character. he can rationalize everyone thinking he’s a bad guy,, and never views himself as the bad guy he is
I don't trust any of those fundamental Christian youtubers. They always blame the women for everything. You are always have a comforting beautiful voice. Love your videos
@@warlordofbritannia to me, a big part of it is her accent. Something about the Yorkshire accent is just really nice in my ears, and I think Rachel has a really expressive voice without it being super aggressive
right? I can't think of anything I'd have wanted less during mine than to 1. be put in front of the camera and 2. have a video journaling the entire traumatic process. This guy really does not have empathy...
Everything you need to know is in this video. You are not missing anything. Unfortunately I watched the Netflix version of their story. It was boring and now they have a boring book.
I'm an hour and 15 minutes into the video and i see what a selfish piece of crap Sam is. He could've killed someone or himself with his drunk driving and him cheating on Nia is also messed up. Then he has the nerve to keep making excuses for his terrible and pathetic behavior. I hope one day, Sam is forced to face the consequences of his own actions to where he cannot escape taking responsibility for his poor choices. Nia deserves to leave Sam and find her own happiness
Hey Rachel, you’ll do great on this exam. I know it’s stressful, but you’ve talked about how accomplished you are with school. It might not help in the moment, but we have faith that you’ll do fantastic!
Sam is such a gross human. I put the Ashley Madison doc on in the background one day and had never heard of the man before that. He litterally only “confessed” to cheating because he would have been exposed anyway. Now he’s trying to monetize being a terrible husband and father!!! I can’t believe this man. He’s scary.
@@mikalcarruthers I hate that a lot of people on the internet call anyone and everyone a narcissist these days. But this guy actually seems to tick all the boxes
I laughed at his opening scene where he said something along the lines of "Little did I know that it would ruin my life," as if he was the first man who ever cheated and could never have predicted that it would have consequences.
The fact that this guy says he "truly treasured his family" AS HE'S CHEATING ON HIS WIFE He will cheat again. He absolutely will. This book proves that he doesn't take personal responsibility, he blames everything else for his decisions. A man who does that will find another reason to cheat. It's only a matter of time-- if it's not already happening.
I really appreciate you being so open and honest, it’s nice to hear someone be really real on the internet. I have narcolepsy and my new insurance doesn’t want me to take the meds I’ve been stable on. I ran out last week so I’ve been so tired and trying my best to do my job. Having creators be open about their struggles just makes me feel less alone I guess and keep moving forward as best I can
@@RachelOatesRachel, dear, not on topic: have you tried a Swedish postural stool: it has a shelf for the knees and makes one distribute their weight between knees and pelvis. It has no back but this principle encourages the correct posture. It might be more comfortable for your filming.
I hope you are able to secure your medication more regularly soon. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I've been on Modafinil for ten years, and I know how you feel.
1:02:10 I think this really sums up Sam - he said it himself. He “turned into the exact person he didn’t want anyone else to think he was.” Not the exact person he didn’t want to be. He doesn’t regret his actions - he regrets he was found out. And he basically said as much.
It's surreal to have a written deepdive into a brain like Sam's. It shows that he has close to zero self awareness. You'd think you would have to torture all the things he outs about himself in this book out of someone, but there he is - filming a documentary and writing it into a book. I feel terrible for Nia, even though she doesn't seem like my kind of person. You're a stronger person than I am for suffering through this book and salvaging it into actually enjoyable content.
To me it seems more like he is aware he just does not care no mo, specialy since he find out with how much he could get away with with absolutely cero consecuences..
This video when he says "god forgiven me, wife forgiven me, im clean feom sin so you people have no right critisizing me" is infuriating. Its horrible how christians think they csn just say "god forgave me" and now everything is all fine.😊
My horribly abusive dad who refuses to even acknowledge any of what he did, weaponized that against my family, mostly to my mom who is still somewhat religious. "God says you have forgive 70 times 70 so you're disobeying God if you don't forgive me" and the not spoken part is "for things I haven't ever even tried to apologize for." It makes me burn with rage.
I said in another comment that if you believe that God has forgiven you, that is something that you think in your mind and your heart and spirit, not out loud and ESPECIALLY in front of the people you have hurt.
It's so lovely and refreshing to have someone online that I see as a role model in a way, be open and honest about chronic pain and struggles. While i don't struggle with chronic pain myself, I do struggle with PCOS and mental health issues, and hearing you be open and honest about your struggles make me feel less alone in my own, and I'm glad that others will feel seen in their struggles as well. I have your videos on in the background as I am writing, or researching for my literary projects, and honestly you have helped me in some projects as you break down a book and discuss some aspect of it by offering a point of view i never considered. Usually I will transfer that to my own project and will think "what would Rachel say about this piece?" and that helps me find a new point of view. For instance, right now I'm working on an essay about Ophelia and I was listening to one of your videos about feminism (can't remember which one now and don't feel like going back and figuring it out ajdflajf), and realized that some of the things you were saying resonated for Ophelia. So now my whole project is based on Ophelia's abuse and why she didn't kill herself and in fact is a victim of the patriarchal society she was forced to exist within. Sorry short explanation for a complex thesis, so idk if that makes sense. BUT basically, thank you, and someday I hope I publish some thing that you find and love and that adds meaning into your life in a similar way that your videos have added meaning to mine. And if that never happens, then I am happy to just get to keep watching your videos and learning something new from them. Sending so much love from the USA.
Hearing him say god has forgiven him and he’s “completely cleansed of this sin” was all I needed to absolutely despise him. Everything else just reinforces that opinion
I always hated when people say “God has forgiven me”, okay but have the people you HURT forgiven you? Have you tried hard enough to EARN their forgiveness? I’m Catholic, but my opinion is that that’s something you can think in your mind and feel in your heart and spirit, but NOT out loud. It comes off as pretentious.
Sam sounds so much like my sister’s abusive ex-husband. The cheating while she was pregnant, erratic driving when angry, gaslighting and minimizing his affairs and cheating, the religious abuse and mitigation of his own actions. The difference is he hit her and she left him. He’s been an absolute monster since she left. I fully believe he’d write a bullshit book like this and sound just as stupid. Everything is about him, his pride, and his image. It sounds exhausting to be around.
You either subside into apathy or you live every waking moment on edge. Exhausting, demoralizing, and you don’t even realize how deeply your energy has sunk until you’re finally free.
I find him deeply insufferable. They both seem to think every little detail and incident in their relationship is part of some grand "saga" or something. Their melodramatic writing too. It's also annoying to have the same first name as this guy.
The way they make rules and boundaries to keep him from cheating reminds me of the excessive steps I have to take to keep my dog from escaping my garden to eat horsepoop in the neighboring field.
But she's a slightly dumb german shepherd who loves me and is fiercely loyal. I cannot imagine putting in the same effort to keep a human, husband and life partner that I'm supposed to raise new humans with from cheating. Like filling up a hole he's dug under the fence and turning around and being like "you've been a bad husband again, but no more trying to bang my friends, okay? It's gross. I even put some large stones in there this time so it will be harder for you to try and do it again. Now let's go and have a snack."
Initially I thought upon hearing the "never say 'divorce'" rule that maybe he meant during arguments. As a young adult threatening to leave was something that I myself did a handful of times to my then husband, I witnessed my mother do it as a kid, friends of mine did it in their relationships. After some years I learned hey, threatening divorce/breaking up - particularly to "win" in arguments - is a manipulation tactic in a lot of situations. If that were the rule, don't say divorce unless you genuinely mean it and plan on following through, that would make sense and be a good rule to have. But as it is just comes off as a control tactic. Yikes.
That makes sense, though from their story I also wouldn't be surprised if divorce wasn't on the table period. But I get what you mean and I agree that using it as a way to keep someone from expressing their feelings isn't okay. It's impressive that you were able to notice it in yourself and change it btw, hope you know you can be proud of that!
In my experience (I'm a nurse myself), a lot of ER nurses tend to be "adrenaline junkies," so I'm not too surprised that Sam is constantly chasing the high of having a video go viral. Best of luck on your exam!!
The cognitive dissonance is immense! It's like if ppl took "Gaston" as being in any way positive or aspirational. as a bit of a tangent, imo, Hans was Disney's next step in the evolution of the commentary they started with Gaston; it's often noted that, in any other story, Gaston would've been the hero, but the inversion of expectations with his villainy was clearly communicated to the audience bc Belle saw right through him. So Hans is the next step in the deconstruction of these tropes bc this time, both the heroine and audience were duped. Regardless of how anyone feels about the execution of these themes in the actual movie, I think the message is a really important one, so it always irritates me to see ppl divorce this song from its context...tho I suppose the irony at play here is kinda incredible.
For real, my bestie and I ACTUALLY sing in the hot tub and if it were to be recorded I'd be happy others enjoyed singing Disney songs with their friends, not upset
Honestly, I cannot imagine anyone staying with a man like Sam. The dude is extremely slimy, blames others for his actions, and doesn't seem to truly understand the ramifications of his cheating. I just don't get it. That's definitely not the "Christian" look I'd be going for, were I in that situation. Then again, I don't cheat on my wife... so yeah. There's that.
@@mikalcarruthers from what ive seen (in Family and Friends) it's usually complicated. That is, If both Parties are Generally good people. Then it tends to happen when sth was already going wrong in the relationship and either one or both Parties didnt want to admit that. In that Case, If the cheating only happened once AND was brought Up straight away, then some relationships could be saved, but normally via couples therapy. In Most cases that didnt Happen and the couple Split Up eventually. And of course some people Just shouldnt be in a relationship. I know a Guy who would "Date" women because He "doesnt sleep around", so His solution was to pretend to Date a Girl for a few weeks and then bounce. Guess who also turned Out to be a cheater?
I still can't get over how they titled their Love Is an Open Door lipsync video "Good Looking Parents Sing Disney's Frozen (Love Is an Open Door)". They described themselves as good-looking and called it "singing" when it was lipsyncing. And then now not only does Sam acknowledge it in the book, but he describes it as "click art".
This woman had been brainwashed into believing she needed to stay with this man. She believed she needed to stay miserable or else she'd offend god and go to hell. It's heartbreaking...
37:48 the genuine excitement on her face made me tear up. I know what that feeling is like, to be so thrilled to learn that you're pregnant only to have it taken from you a short while later. It's devastating even when you don't have a camera constantly shoved in your face. Poor Nia. She deserves so much better than this cheating, callous, overgrown caveman who can't seem to muster any thoughts about her other than "wife hot".
Somewhat of an aside, but I was recently introduced to the tv-show Kevin can F himself, and it is SO good. It’s about an abusive marraige, and it’s filmed in two styles. Any scene with the husband in it is filmed like a traditional mutlicam sitcom, complete with laugh track. And the rest of the show is filmed like a single camera drama. The color grading is different between then two, and lot of little details like the wife’s bandage not being on her hand in the sitcom «side». I don’t know if you alreaddy have heard of it, but just incase you haven’t I wanted to mention it. It’s one of the best things I’ve seen from a tv-show in a long time. It’s a finished story in two seasons (16 episodes).
"You're not the kind of man this woman thought you were. You're worse." Incredible. Also, I'm very sorry to hear about your chronic pain issues but I'm glad you feel able to share. I hope the PT will help.
ooh so excited to see someone cover this I've been looking forward since alizee mentioned it in her Ashley Madison vids. I hope we get a Rachel/alizee tag team eventually you both complement each other stylistically
They really do compliment each other! Rachel for the logical and more academic review and detailed breakdown, and Alizee to absolutely clown on whatever she’s reviewing, like she says a lot of stuff that Rachel says but harsher (they deserve it) and funnier Both are great and I love them
Kyra actually features in one of Alizee's recent videos (I think the It Starts With Us one??) And by "featured" I mean her snoring gets edited into one scene and it's hilarious 😂
I love that you include a variety of book recommendations. You make full use of this video, knowing that so many viewers might be in a situation they feel no way out. This, along with your own life experiences, pertinent psychological and/or philosophy perspectives (and so much more) makes for an incredibly comprehensive commentary, sprinkled with your humor throughout of course. Thank you :)
Their account of how Netflix recruited them and propped them up reminds me so much of how Paul and Morgan described their experience with Shiny Happy People. Like, duh they're gonna gas you up and tell you you're the star, so that you give them the juicy dramatic trainwreck of content they want to publish at your expense..
rachel, hearing you talk about how you are tired of faking being okay and just wanting to be open about not being okay hit me right in the heart. i have a chronic pain disorder, been to multiple doctors of all kinds yet they can’t figure out the cause, and i faked being okay for so long that it wore me down and made me even more depressed. you are not alone 💕
I hope that Nia can feel safe and valid enough to kick this slimeball to the curb. He's a monster and no one should gaslight their partner. If you wanna flirt with random women, get a flipping divorce and leave your poor wife to heal. Thank you Rachel for another thorough deep drive. Wishing you well dear!
if i had done the things that sam had done, you would not be able to waterboard that information out of me. yet he willingly wrote a whole book claiming he had been redeemed. for profit. god-tier level of audacity
Thank you for your vulnerability about your health, Rachel. I relate and appreciate how hard you work while your pain is active in the background. You role model self-advocacy so well. Also...jesus christ Sam's hyperfixation on Nia's pregnancy status is so disturbing. That is such abusive behavior. And to *film* those invasive experiments and post them online in the hopes that they'll go viral is a whole other level of deranged. Nia is not a perfect victim (nor is anyone else on the planet), but I hope she takes in the feedback and eventually can move on safely with her children. Sam could certainly do with a LOT of deprogramming and detoxing his VERY disordered thinking.
Wait people complain about Kyras noises? I think they're cute ! One of my puppers snores when she sleeps and i just love watching her and hearing her snores it's beautiful to me and at least I know she's alive 💖 Also please take care of yourself cysts are terrible and are sadly not taken as seriously as they should...
I think the people who complain are those who might have problems like misophonia. It's completely understandable that they are unable to concentrate on her videos while Kyra is snoring next to her and so they have the right to voice they're issues, but the rudeness in those comments is not called for. That's not me saying that there are no people who have told her about their issues with Kyra's snores in a very polite manner, which I don't have a problem with.
Rachel if you’re reading this, I want you to know I always like to listen to you talk about things (especially misogynistic fundamentalists), and that I hope you’re having a great day. Good luck on your exam, and I hope your pain is more manageable that day!❤
I'm only 36min in, but just wanna check in; Rachel, are you eating meals (you mention rumbly tummy & hunger) and sleeping enough (you mention you're really tired from school and work)? We appreciate all the wonderful work you do with your videos, but I truly hope you're finding time to take care of yourself too🫶
I think part of the reason Nia talks about the creativity and work of the lip sync video is Sam had been distant for years and his night shift work as a nurse kept them from seeing each other. The project of working together on the video made her feel like they were closer, and you mentioned that she says in the book that she felt like she had to walk on eggshells around him at that time. When they started vlogging he was actually around and he was much happier overall. And she surely loved that as a woman who preferred to be a wife with a loving husband and great family than basically an overworked single mother (she said in the series she felt like a single mother half the week when he worked nights)
The entire passage on monetizing their pregnancy, from the way Sam got inspired from witnessing a woman worst nightmare unfold, to brainstorming how to steal his wife urine.... This man is DERANGED
Thanks for sharing about your chronic pain Rachel! I also have chronic pain/ fibromyalgia and have also had ovarian cyst like you so I feel your pain! Love that you’ve covered this couple, I’m a quarter way through will listen to the rest tomorrow 😃
The fact that Sam has so many 'reasons' he cheats just proves he has no clue why he does it. I don't have issue with religion, but I really want people to understand it isn't therapy. It can be a tool to help you with issues that require therapy but it isn't a replacement. It doesn't address things the same way, it doesn't require the same self-reflection, it doesn't provide the same tools, and it will never have the same results.
Most “Christians” who vlog their lives online are phonies and think nothing of exploiting their families and others. I hate that. Thanks for this video on people like that, Rachel!
i’ve never heard of these people before so i was curious to learn- my mouth was open the whole pee pregnancy test section. that is absolutely insane. how did someone think that was okay to do (if it did happen) and OKAY TO WRITE ABOUT LIKE ITS A CUTE SILLY IDEA? im just in shock
I grew up in a strict Pentecostal church and I can’t tell you how common these types of couples are. So much shame around sex can cause so many screwed up attitudes from both parties. Some people start equating everything pleasurable with sin so then they just go down this rabbit hole where they just “give in” to their sin and repent later. Others get so terrified that they are paralyzed to speak up for their own boundaries. I’m so thankful I somehow got out of this type of thinking before I got married. I feel horrible for Nia and I hope she can escape Sam and this cult some day
I liked your take on seeing a therapist for an impartial look at whether you are projecting your own insecurities on your partner or if their behavior has caused you to have doubts. In most situations, the general public would frown upon the idea of limiting a partner's social interactions to only same-gender friendships. Sam "should" be allowed to have women as friends if this was a normal couple, and we would be chastising Nia for trying to control him. But in this situation, Sam broke their agreed upon rules as a couple, the kind a lot of fundies have for no opposite gender social media friends/interactions, and Nia reacted according to their agreement being broken. Therapy would help her or anyone in a similar situation where conventional norms can't be relied upon to unpack their thoughts and emotions.
i’m insanely early for the first time ever. i’ve seen the netflix documentary about ashley madison but i rage quit and decided to watch alieeze’s video. IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!!
Nice to hear (poor phrasing) that there's another creator I respect who's a part of the chronic pain community. Obviously, I'm sorry that you have chronic pain, but I'm grateful that you're being open about life not being perfect. It's great for everyone's mental health, in my opinion
So let me get this straight. If she divorces him and he remarries, she’s guilty of causing an affair in the eyes of god, but if he repeatedly hooks up with other women while they’re married, he’s guilty of nothing because god forgives him ????
It’s interesting bc my mom told me about a homily she heard about this idea. The original context was that men would divorce their wives over non-issues and remarry. This was considered a violation of the original marriage pact. It’s awful that this context is ignored to manipulate women.
Ive never seen Frozen but isn’t “Love is an Open Door” a song between Anna and….the villain? Like isn’t Hans the villain of the movie? I don’t think that’s the greatest song to be singing for any happy couple but it’s entirely fitting for these two.
I think something thats just extra scummy is that so many of the women he cheated with were people they as a couple knew personally. Like it’s a special betrayal to have the majority of your infidelity be with people your wife will probably have to face again. It’s an extra later of disrespect on top of an already heaping pile of disrespect.
1:11:00 “I was TRULY worried about shattering my wife’s world” [*few pages later*] “He insisted that our biggest worry should be the potential public exposure” 🤣🤣🤣 That’s what we call an inconsistent narrative 💁♀️
Ha, I'm excited to see this because I watched the Ashley Madison doc and ended up fast forwarding through their segments because they were so insufferable--a Rachel filter is needed for me to learn about these people.
Rachel, I’m so glad to hear you are in school again. You are a positive role model. I hope you did well on the mentioned exam, and I hope you’ve gotten some rest recently. Thank you for sharing your content with all of us!
I appreciate you sharing your truth about your struggle with chronic pain. I also deal with chronic pain, including pain in both hips, plus a previous hip surgery to repair a labral tear, and now my legs are uneven by about 2 inches. It is so hard to deal with even with support. But to handle it alone without anyone else knowing makes it so much more difficult. My heart goes out to you. Please know that you are not alone. You are strong, resilient, and so courageous for telling your truth. Hugs from the U.S. 🤗
There is something quietly manipulative and weasel-y by revealing cheating to a spouse in a public space where the victim of the cheating can feel publicly humiliated and exposed and vulnerable, and they have to monitor their own emotions because it would draw attention.
It is refreshing to see someone so open about chronic pain. It sucks and I’m sorry about it. Also, at least where I’m from in the US, advil and ibuprofen and stuff we call pain relievers while we call prescription drugs pain killers. Still wouldn’t know why someone would run with it, you’d think people would understand that different places have different words of things
The amount that I LOATHE these people cannot be expressed. I was immediately annoyed when I saw them in the documentary and my hatred was magnified when I realized they were behind the 2 most obnoxious videos I’ve ever seen online.
The one time we hear about a woman rejecting Sam, and he spends a full chapter whining and insulting her and her photography and insisting that she really did want to sleep with him. Tell us again how you didn't want to go inside with her, Sam. Go on.
From the sounds of things Sam sounds like a sex addict. This is no way mitigates his responsibility for this own choices and actions. A key part of recovery is to recognise and accept that, and to acknowledge and apoligise for the pain you have caused to others. It's also just the moral and ethical thing to do quite frankly. It seems as if Sam has decided to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to believe he is a victim of circumstances which lead him to bad decisions, and thereby avoid responsibility for this own actions. I have no doubt Sam has cheated more times than has been revealed and will cheat on Nia again.
So he knew that a 4th child could be risky for his wife’s health and he STILL decided a pregnancy test video was the best thing to do. This man clearly does not care about anyone besides himself
I haven’t finished the video yet but I remember a lot of the Sam and Nia major events as they happened in real time. The thing I could never get over going back to the reason anyone even knows them is that the song they lip synced to from Frozen was infamously a song that foreshadows the doomed relationship between the two people singing it (Princess Anna of Arendelle and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, who also infamously turns out to be a hugely untrustworthy absolute garbage guy, majorly manipulating & lying the entire time they knew each other).
Thank you for sharing about the physical pain in your life. Chronic pain is common in my family and people who dont experience it, dont always get it. Take care of yourself.
The way you dealt with chronic pain on this was really great. Sometimes the pain and the difficulty with being understanding feels bad and it's so nice to realize that other people aren't always their best selves :)
Thanks for opening up about your chronic pain, I know people online can be crazy but I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability as I also have chronic pain and empathize - I'm very sorry you have to live with this. Please take as many days as you need when making your videos as it's most important to take care of yourself first! ❤❤❤
Hey Rach!! You need to get some rest! You have all the knowledge you need and you just need to make sure you are in the best frame of mind for your exam xxxx you will ace it! ❤ ❤❤
I watched the Netflix Ashley Madison doc on my flight back from holiday a while back and I didn't really know much about Nia and Sam. I vaguely recognised them from their viral video years ago where he found out she was pregnant before she found out. Cannot wait to learn about more them and their scandals from you Rachel :)
Thank you for speaking out on drunk driving!! So many ppl try to excuse it or to trivialize it.."oh we've all done it!" No, we most certainly have not. I've seen too many innocent ppl killed by reckless, selfish idiots out on the road. Drunk driving should be punished much more severely imo.
This man is the definition of pathetic. Whenever he’s the villain he tries to twist it so that he’s actually just the victim of x and y and all the other letters. Ew. Also very convenient for him to start telling her about the cheating in massage parlours when he was driving. He can avoid eye contact because he needs to watch the road and she can’t get too upset or he might crash the car. This man is pathetic and a coward.
Rachel Im so sorry to hear about your pain♥️ I have many chronic illnesses and have had 14 surgeries on my left leg that has left me disabled and in pain everyday. I also am careful who I talk about what meds I take and treatments I get just because of judgement I’ve had by people in the past- your story is your story! And it’s yours to tell on your terms! Thank you for sharing part of your story and I hope your pain days are low:’)
Hope you do great on your exam, and good job on working for the second degree! I just started my second job and your long vids are getting me through it all.
Gotta love how absolutely blatant Sam is about prioritizing his dad’s emotions while he was cheating and not an ounce of care spared for his mother’s feelings in regards to the infidelity. He frames it like his dad was only able to find his fulfilling soulmate because he cheated but then doesn’t answer as to why his mom needed to be part of his dad’s search for personal happiness outside his marriage. Nothing was stopping him from divorcing his mother before entering the new relationship with his girlfriend. And yet he doesn’t because like so many self centered scum like Sam & his father, he saw Sam’s mother as his property he selfishly had no interest in relinquishing. Sam’s father’s lying & betrayal was a “necessity” in his eyes to keep his two sex toy maids for as long as possible. I also find it extremely telling how neither Sam nor Nia acknowledge how Sam’s infidelity was the explicit fulfillment of Nia’s worst nightmare considering how her grandmother drilled into her the traumatic & tragic heartbreak that Nia’s grandfather’s infidelity inflicted upon her and their family. Sam literally commits the most devastating & dreaded experience Nia feared ever having to potentially endure & yet Sam barely owns up to that and Nia bites her tongue, swallows her bile and forgives him anyway because something something “Jesus” something something “Bible” something something “Marriage is a sacred bond” something something “Wives obey your Husbands” etc. It’s truly sickening.
I was born with the same hip thing. I've been walking in the lazy river at the YMCA when I can, and that's helped strengthen things a lot, but still use a wheelchair for work and long distances to prevent exhaustion and damage.
So many of the men in the books your dissect make me all the more grateful for the father I had because he was a stark contrast to these men and most men in general. He was loyal and supportive to my mom, raised my brother and I right and was taken far too soon while so many monsters that claim to be men are allowed to thrive unfettered. Also, can we just call the whole "trad wife" thing that Nia puts forward a great demonstration of is basically just The Stepford Wives IRL? Update at the end of this: the fact that someone as genuinely good like my dad is dead and gone while scumbags like this get to thrive feels like a sick reminder we live in an unjust universe
rachel!!!! i hope you did well on your exam yesterday!!! i’m sure you did. thank you for putting out this content for us while working on your degree. best wishes ♥️♥️
Cheating on your pregnant wife feels worse when you're also seemingly obsessed with monetizing your wife's pregnancies.
Do you think that tiger woods is a bad person? He cheat on his wife with over 100 women
Business is business.
"How can we shock the world with our next pregnancy?" is one of the most messed up sentences I have ever seen/heard.
My brain exploded at Netflix and "living in truth"...
This. Imagine being brought into this world for YT fame 😂 ....
It’s such a crazy sentence because pregnancy and having babies is so…mundane? While it is special to the people going through it, it’s not exactly a riveting phenomenon. Literally millions of people get pregnant and have kids. I don’t even care if a celebrity I like gets pregnant and has a kid. That’s just kind of par for the course for human existence.
and especially because he was thinking this -BEFORE THEY WERE ACTUALLY PREGNANT-. Like... he's planning a pregnancy for clout. That's just absolutely vile. It didn't even occur to him that "hey this is an actual new life you're working on here man" until she's literally already pregnant.
The ego and self importance are off the charts here.
I find it so on point that it all started with a lipsyncing to the princess falling in love with the villain
Ha! Maybe their final video should have been re-enacting Anna punching whatsisface.
yeah honestly the irony was not lost on me- honestly the characters (and the relationship) feels so incredibly on the nose...
I know I'm nittpicking here, but them lip synching "Love is an open door" isn't nearly as cutesy as they think it is. The song by itself is cute enough, but in the context of the film it's in, it's about a villain suckering the heroine with a faux nice guy personality and the whole scene is full of hints and double entendres hinting at his true nature-- actually wait, maybe this fits perfectly.
That was exactly my thought, haven't finish watching the video yet but i kept waitin for Rach to mention it lol
right? It's literally a man manipulating an incredibly sheltered (and love-starved) woman by playing on her trauma and hopes. It's just crazy how on the nose it is, but then it always does kind of feel like guys like him have to hide little easter eggs in the things they do that say "heh, this is who I really am, and I'm laughing at you for not seeing it"
I used to do that with my sister a lot but now I feel odd about it❤
Even if Hans' persona was real, it would still be bad because they'd both be two barely-adults settling for the first eligible person of the opposite gender out of sheer desperation for love and wanting to escape the oppression of their strict class expectations. Not healthy!
Sam just focusing on Nia's looks is giving that scene in the Swan Princess where Odette asks Derek "what else do you like about me besides my looks" and he says "what else is there?"
He could write a book, "How to Offend Women in Ten Syllables or Less"!
@@stellablake6200I wish it was a real book
@@sarascarpati887It's called Twitter
@@stellablake6200Five syllables or less
“Our tiny baby brought us 10 million views” I AUDIBLY GASPED
It's just so telling that when worrying about his Ashley Madison account being revealed Sam thinks to himself "I've turned into the exact kind of person I never wanted _people to think I was_ ". Not the exact kind of person he never wanted to _be_ , no, he's totally okay with being a terrible person so long as no one ever sees him for what he really is
This is a really savvy catch!
Translation: “My dad worked hard, so it’s okay he cheated. I’m just mad it didn’t work out like that for me.”
“My daddy issues aren’t like the other girls’”
@@warlordofbritannia 🤣
Something about the way he speaks about what happened tells me he takes no actual blame, made no real changes, and will cheat on her again the second the opportunity of doing it without getting caught arises.
He probably still does cheat now. I don't have proof - I'm just saying he doesn't appear to feel any remorse so why wouldn't he ?
I agree he will be caught again
It reminds me of that hilarious video of an aussie woman who talks about her husband having a terrible accident just after their baby was born where he fell and landed in his coworker's vagina and he is still stuck there to this day. Except she was being ironic and Sam is deadly serious.
!! he seems to think everything is like a defamation of his character, but never seems to internalize that IS his character. he can rationalize everyone thinking he’s a bad guy,, and never views himself as the bad guy he is
I don't trust any of those fundamental Christian youtubers. They always blame the women for everything. You are always have a comforting beautiful voice. Love your videos
I don't blame you. To me, is like they use Christianity for their own agenda to treat women like they're nothing
@@mikalcarruthers according to Christians women are less than nothing
They’re inherently misogynist, that’s why. And that’s bullshit!
Rachel has such a pleasant voice, I don’t know why or how to describe it but it simply appeals to my ears
@@warlordofbritannia to me, a big part of it is her accent. Something about the Yorkshire accent is just really nice in my ears, and I think Rachel has a really expressive voice without it being super aggressive
"Your child is eating paint. That's enough."
Brilliantly delivered.
Porn on a work computer in an ER? Absolutely vile he would do something like that in that sort of environment
Why do I find myself thinking of Josh Duggar?
@@TheBlueEM2 yeah honestly same energy
Id divorce so quickly if someone tried to vlog my miscarriage
Lol, I would have a big fight if someone took the sample of my pee without my consent. It would have broken my trust.
right? I can't think of anything I'd have wanted less during mine than to 1. be put in front of the camera and 2. have a video journaling the entire traumatic process. This guy really does not have empathy...
@@hexonyouI’m sorry for your loss and I hope you are healing. ❤
I don't know who these people are but I'm interested. If it's a Rachel Oates video, it's gonna be a banger
I’m just waiting for her to drop a 2.5 hour compilation of Kyra snorts
That would be Rachel’s magnum opus
Everything you need to know is in this video. You are not missing anything. Unfortunately I watched the Netflix version of their story. It was boring and now they have a boring book.
I'm an hour and 15 minutes into the video and i see what a selfish piece of crap Sam is. He could've killed someone or himself with his drunk driving and him cheating on Nia is also messed up. Then he has the nerve to keep making excuses for his terrible and pathetic behavior. I hope one day, Sam is forced to face the consequences of his own actions to where he cannot escape taking responsibility for his poor choices. Nia deserves to leave Sam and find her own happiness
@@warlordofbritannia i DEMAND this video now 😭
Hey Rachel, you’ll do great on this exam. I know it’s stressful, but you’ve talked about how accomplished you are with school. It might not help in the moment, but we have faith that you’ll do fantastic!
Thank you!!! ❤
Sam is such a gross human. I put the Ashley Madison doc on in the background one day and had never heard of the man before that. He litterally only “confessed” to cheating because he would have been exposed anyway. Now he’s trying to monetize being a terrible husband and father!!! I can’t believe this man. He’s scary.
Yeah, I'm getting narcissistic vibes from Sam 🤢
@@mikalcarruthers He sounds exactly like my sister’s narcissistic abusive ex-husband.
@@mikalcarruthers I hate that a lot of people on the internet call anyone and everyone a narcissist these days. But this guy actually seems to tick all the boxes
I laughed at his opening scene where he said something along the lines of "Little did I know that it would ruin my life," as if he was the first man who ever cheated and could never have predicted that it would have consequences.
The fact that this guy says he "truly treasured his family" AS HE'S CHEATING ON HIS WIFE
He will cheat again. He absolutely will. This book proves that he doesn't take personal responsibility, he blames everything else for his decisions. A man who does that will find another reason to cheat. It's only a matter of time-- if it's not already happening.
I really appreciate you being so open and honest, it’s nice to hear someone be really real on the internet. I have narcolepsy and my new insurance doesn’t want me to take the meds I’ve been stable on. I ran out last week so I’ve been so tired and trying my best to do my job. Having creators be open about their struggles just makes me feel less alone I guess and keep moving forward as best I can
Really hope you're doing ok! Sending support! ❤
That's rough. I'm so sorry!
@@RachelOatesRachel, dear, not on topic: have you tried a Swedish postural stool: it has a shelf for the knees and makes one distribute their weight between knees and pelvis. It has no back but this principle encourages the correct posture. It might be more comfortable for your filming.
I hope you are able to secure your medication more regularly soon.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I've been on Modafinil for ten years, and I know how you feel.
1:02:10 I think this really sums up Sam - he said it himself. He “turned into the exact person he didn’t want anyone else to think he was.” Not the exact person he didn’t want to be. He doesn’t regret his actions - he regrets he was found out. And he basically said as much.
It's surreal to have a written deepdive into a brain like Sam's. It shows that he has close to zero self awareness. You'd think you would have to torture all the things he outs about himself in this book out of someone, but there he is - filming a documentary and writing it into a book. I feel terrible for Nia, even though she doesn't seem like my kind of person.
You're a stronger person than I am for suffering through this book and salvaging it into actually enjoyable content.
To me it seems more like he is aware he just does not care no mo, specialy since he find out with how much he could get away with with absolutely cero consecuences..
This video when he says "god forgiven me, wife forgiven me, im clean feom sin so you people have no right critisizing me" is infuriating. Its horrible how christians think they csn just say "god forgave me" and now everything is all fine.😊
My horribly abusive dad who refuses to even acknowledge any of what he did, weaponized that against my family, mostly to my mom who is still somewhat religious. "God says you have forgive 70 times 70 so you're disobeying God if you don't forgive me" and the not spoken part is "for things I haven't ever even tried to apologize for." It makes me burn with rage.
I said in another comment that if you believe that God has forgiven you, that is something that you think in your mind and your heart and spirit, not out loud and ESPECIALLY in front of the people you have hurt.
It's so lovely and refreshing to have someone online that I see as a role model in a way, be open and honest about chronic pain and struggles. While i don't struggle with chronic pain myself, I do struggle with PCOS and mental health issues, and hearing you be open and honest about your struggles make me feel less alone in my own, and I'm glad that others will feel seen in their struggles as well.
I have your videos on in the background as I am writing, or researching for my literary projects, and honestly you have helped me in some projects as you break down a book and discuss some aspect of it by offering a point of view i never considered. Usually I will transfer that to my own project and will think "what would Rachel say about this piece?" and that helps me find a new point of view. For instance, right now I'm working on an essay about Ophelia and I was listening to one of your videos about feminism (can't remember which one now and don't feel like going back and figuring it out ajdflajf), and realized that some of the things you were saying resonated for Ophelia. So now my whole project is based on Ophelia's abuse and why she didn't kill herself and in fact is a victim of the patriarchal society she was forced to exist within. Sorry short explanation for a complex thesis, so idk if that makes sense. BUT basically, thank you, and someday I hope I publish some thing that you find and love and that adds meaning into your life in a similar way that your videos have added meaning to mine. And if that never happens, then I am happy to just get to keep watching your videos and learning something new from them. Sending so much love from the USA.
This is the sweetest comment I’ve ever seen omg😭
Hearing him say god has forgiven him and he’s “completely cleansed of this sin” was all I needed to absolutely despise him. Everything else just reinforces that opinion
Exactly, and the fact he’s cleansed of the sin, not because he’s remorseful or he’s changed, but because he’s decided that god says it’s okay
I always hated when people say “God has forgiven me”, okay but have the people you HURT forgiven you? Have you tried hard enough to EARN their forgiveness? I’m Catholic, but my opinion is that that’s something you can think in your mind and feel in your heart and spirit, but NOT out loud. It comes off as pretentious.
Sam sounds so much like my sister’s abusive ex-husband. The cheating while she was pregnant, erratic driving when angry, gaslighting and minimizing his affairs and cheating, the religious abuse and mitigation of his own actions. The difference is he hit her and she left him. He’s been an absolute monster since she left. I fully believe he’d write a bullshit book like this and sound just as stupid. Everything is about him, his pride, and his image. It sounds exhausting to be around.
You either subside into apathy or you live every waking moment on edge. Exhausting, demoralizing, and you don’t even realize how deeply your energy has sunk until you’re finally free.
I find him deeply insufferable.
They both seem to think every little detail and incident in their relationship is part of some grand "saga" or something. Their melodramatic writing too. It's also annoying to have the same first name as this guy.
"Found God for realsies, and apparently that's fixed him."
That job should've been assigned to a veterinarian.
The way they make rules and boundaries to keep him from cheating reminds me of the excessive steps I have to take to keep my dog from escaping my garden to eat horsepoop in the neighboring field.
But she's a slightly dumb german shepherd who loves me and is fiercely loyal. I cannot imagine putting in the same effort to keep a human, husband and life partner that I'm supposed to raise new humans with from cheating. Like filling up a hole he's dug under the fence and turning around and being like "you've been a bad husband again, but no more trying to bang my friends, okay? It's gross. I even put some large stones in there this time so it will be harder for you to try and do it again. Now let's go and have a snack."
How dare you prevent her from eating her midnight snack! 😂😂😂
😭😭🤣😭girl no way
@@meredithnavin1358 it's not just midnight snacks, she just darts away the second she gets the chance and my neighbors already think we're weird 🫠
🤣
Initially I thought upon hearing the "never say 'divorce'" rule that maybe he meant during arguments. As a young adult threatening to leave was something that I myself did a handful of times to my then husband, I witnessed my mother do it as a kid, friends of mine did it in their relationships. After some years I learned hey, threatening divorce/breaking up - particularly to "win" in arguments - is a manipulation tactic in a lot of situations. If that were the rule, don't say divorce unless you genuinely mean it and plan on following through, that would make sense and be a good rule to have. But as it is just comes off as a control tactic. Yikes.
That makes sense, though from their story I also wouldn't be surprised if divorce wasn't on the table period. But I get what you mean and I agree that using it as a way to keep someone from expressing their feelings isn't okay. It's impressive that you were able to notice it in yourself and change it btw, hope you know you can be proud of that!
In my experience (I'm a nurse myself), a lot of ER nurses tend to be "adrenaline junkies," so I'm not too surprised that Sam is constantly chasing the high of having a video go viral.
Best of luck on your exam!!
Very interesting!
Do people recognise that “love is an open door” is about blindly believing in love at first sight, and fooling yourself
This. Ironic.
The cognitive dissonance is immense! It's like if ppl took "Gaston" as being in any way positive or aspirational.
as a bit of a tangent, imo, Hans was Disney's next step in the evolution of the commentary they started with Gaston; it's often noted that, in any other story, Gaston would've been the hero, but the inversion of expectations with his villainy was clearly communicated to the audience bc Belle saw right through him. So Hans is the next step in the deconstruction of these tropes bc this time, both the heroine and audience were duped. Regardless of how anyone feels about the execution of these themes in the actual movie, I think the message is a really important one, so it always irritates me to see ppl divorce this song from its context...tho I suppose the irony at play here is kinda incredible.
I'm supposed to be working, but I am literally glued to the screen and gasping every 10 minutes. "He WHAT?"
and had to add- this was a FANTASTIC video. Well done!
I cannot imagine the arrogance it takes to believe you invented singing in the car. I'm sorry, pretending to sing in the car.
For real, my bestie and I ACTUALLY sing in the hot tub and if it were to be recorded I'd be happy others enjoyed singing Disney songs with their friends, not upset
Honestly, I cannot imagine anyone staying with a man like Sam. The dude is extremely slimy, blames others for his actions, and doesn't seem to truly understand the ramifications of his cheating. I just don't get it.
That's definitely not the "Christian" look I'd be going for, were I in that situation. Then again, I don't cheat on my wife... so yeah. There's that.
Me neither! Nia deserves so much better!
I don't get why people have to cheat anyway. It doesn't do anyone good in the end
@@mikalcarruthers from what ive seen (in Family and Friends) it's usually complicated. That is, If both Parties are Generally good people. Then it tends to happen when sth was already going wrong in the relationship and either one or both Parties didnt want to admit that. In that Case, If the cheating only happened once AND was brought Up straight away, then some relationships could be saved, but normally via couples therapy.
In Most cases that didnt Happen and the couple Split Up eventually. And of course some people Just shouldnt be in a relationship. I know a Guy who would "Date" women because He "doesnt sleep around", so His solution was to pretend to Date a Girl for a few weeks and then bounce. Guess who also turned Out to be a cheater?
I still can't get over how they titled their Love Is an Open Door lipsync video "Good Looking Parents Sing Disney's Frozen (Love Is an Open Door)". They described themselves as good-looking and called it "singing" when it was lipsyncing. And then now not only does Sam acknowledge it in the book, but he describes it as "click art".
This woman had been brainwashed into believing she needed to stay with this man. She believed she needed to stay miserable or else she'd offend god and go to hell. It's heartbreaking...
37:48 the genuine excitement on her face made me tear up. I know what that feeling is like, to be so thrilled to learn that you're pregnant only to have it taken from you a short while later. It's devastating even when you don't have a camera constantly shoved in your face. Poor Nia. She deserves so much better than this cheating, callous, overgrown caveman who can't seem to muster any thoughts about her other than "wife hot".
Wow. You gave yourself a doubleheader, recording this right *after* the Gabbie Hanna video? That’s strength 😊
The example of Sam & Nia is why I cringed so hard last week when Paul & Morgan announced that they were changing course to doing a vlog channel. 😬
Let's hope they don't end up in the same situation!!
Another couple I can't stand. She always looks terrified and afraid to speak up and he's obviously an ass.
@@shannalee80 totally agree 👍
hey 👋 nice to meet you 😊 how are you doing ☺
Somewhat of an aside, but I was recently introduced to the tv-show Kevin can F himself, and it is SO good. It’s about an abusive marraige, and it’s filmed in two styles. Any scene with the husband in it is filmed like a traditional mutlicam sitcom, complete with laugh track. And the rest of the show is filmed like a single camera drama. The color grading is different between then two, and lot of little details like the wife’s bandage not being on her hand in the sitcom «side». I don’t know if you alreaddy have heard of it, but just incase you haven’t I wanted to mention it. It’s one of the best things I’ve seen from a tv-show in a long time. It’s a finished story in two seasons (16 episodes).
Love that show. And it's finally on Netflix! (In the U.S. anyway).
It was so good!!!!
"You're not the kind of man this woman thought you were. You're worse." Incredible.
Also, I'm very sorry to hear about your chronic pain issues but I'm glad you feel able to share. I hope the PT will help.
So you did find the courage to film right after the video about gabbie ! So excited to watch this one
The irony of the Disney song that made them first go viral being the one the princess sings with the villain she fell for. Nia deserves so much more.
ooh so excited to see someone cover this I've been looking forward since alizee mentioned it in her Ashley Madison vids. I hope we get a Rachel/alizee tag team eventually you both complement each other stylistically
I think they do some editing for each other occasionally
They really do compliment each other! Rachel for the logical and more academic review and detailed breakdown, and Alizee to absolutely clown on whatever she’s reviewing, like she says a lot of stuff that Rachel says but harsher (they deserve it) and funnier
Both are great and I love them
@@hatchet1013they do! they're friends, she talked a little bit about them meeting irl in her gh video
Kyra actually features in one of Alizee's recent videos (I think the It Starts With Us one??) And by "featured" I mean her snoring gets edited into one scene and it's hilarious 😂
I love that you include a variety of book recommendations. You make full use of this video, knowing that so many viewers might be in a situation they feel no way out.
This, along with your own life experiences, pertinent psychological and/or philosophy perspectives (and so much more) makes for an incredibly comprehensive commentary, sprinkled with your humor throughout of course. Thank you :)
Their account of how Netflix recruited them and propped them up reminds me so much of how Paul and Morgan described their experience with Shiny Happy People. Like, duh they're gonna gas you up and tell you you're the star, so that you give them the juicy dramatic trainwreck of content they want to publish at your expense..
rachel, hearing you talk about how you are tired of faking being okay and just wanting to be open about not being okay hit me right in the heart. i have a chronic pain disorder, been to multiple doctors of all kinds yet they can’t figure out the cause, and i faked being okay for so long that it wore me down and made me even more depressed.
you are not alone 💕
Thank you ❤️
I hope that Nia can feel safe and valid enough to kick this slimeball to the curb. He's a monster and no one should gaslight their partner. If you wanna flirt with random women, get a flipping divorce and leave your poor wife to heal.
Thank you Rachel for another thorough deep drive. Wishing you well dear!
if i had done the things that sam had done, you would not be able to waterboard that information out of me. yet he willingly wrote a whole book claiming he had been redeemed. for profit. god-tier level of audacity
Thank you for your vulnerability about your health, Rachel. I relate and appreciate how hard you work while your pain is active in the background. You role model self-advocacy so well.
Also...jesus christ Sam's hyperfixation on Nia's pregnancy status is so disturbing. That is such abusive behavior. And to *film* those invasive experiments and post them online in the hopes that they'll go viral is a whole other level of deranged. Nia is not a perfect victim (nor is anyone else on the planet), but I hope she takes in the feedback and eventually can move on safely with her children. Sam could certainly do with a LOT of deprogramming and detoxing his VERY disordered thinking.
Wait people complain about Kyras noises? I think they're cute ! One of my puppers snores when she sleeps and i just love watching her and hearing her snores it's beautiful to me and at least I know she's alive 💖
Also please take care of yourself cysts are terrible and are sadly not taken as seriously as they should...
I think the people who complain are those who might have problems like misophonia. It's completely understandable that they are unable to concentrate on her videos while Kyra is snoring next to her and so they have the right to voice they're issues, but the rudeness in those comments is not called for. That's not me saying that there are no people who have told her about their issues with Kyra's snores in a very polite manner, which I don't have a problem with.
@@OopsIDidItAgainUhit's me I'm the person who complains politely about it B')
Rachel if you’re reading this, I want you to know I always like to listen to you talk about things (especially misogynistic fundamentalists), and that I hope you’re having a great day. Good luck on your exam, and I hope your pain is more manageable that day!❤
I'm only 36min in, but just wanna check in; Rachel, are you eating meals (you mention rumbly tummy & hunger) and sleeping enough (you mention you're really tired from school and work)? We appreciate all the wonderful work you do with your videos, but I truly hope you're finding time to take care of yourself too🫶
I think part of the reason Nia talks about the creativity and work of the lip sync video is Sam had been distant for years and his night shift work as a nurse kept them from seeing each other. The project of working together on the video made her feel like they were closer, and you mentioned that she says in the book that she felt like she had to walk on eggshells around him at that time. When they started vlogging he was actually around and he was much happier overall. And she surely loved that as a woman who preferred to be a wife with a loving husband and great family than basically an overworked single mother (she said in the series she felt like a single mother half the week when he worked nights)
The entire passage on monetizing their pregnancy, from the way Sam got inspired from witnessing a woman worst nightmare unfold, to brainstorming how to steal his wife urine.... This man is DERANGED
Thanks for sharing about your chronic pain Rachel! I also have chronic pain/ fibromyalgia and have also had ovarian cyst like you so I feel your pain! Love that you’ve covered this couple, I’m a quarter way through will listen to the rest tomorrow 😃
@@georgia3045 totally agree 👍
hey 👋 nice to meet you 😊 how are you doing ☺
The fact that Sam has so many 'reasons' he cheats just proves he has no clue why he does it. I don't have issue with religion, but I really want people to understand it isn't therapy.
It can be a tool to help you with issues that require therapy but it isn't a replacement. It doesn't address things the same way, it doesn't require the same self-reflection, it doesn't provide the same tools, and it will never have the same results.
Most “Christians” who vlog their lives online are phonies and think nothing of exploiting their families and others. I hate that. Thanks for this video on people like that, Rachel!
i’ve never heard of these people before so i was curious to learn- my mouth was open the whole pee pregnancy test section. that is absolutely insane. how did someone think that was okay to do (if it did happen) and OKAY TO WRITE ABOUT LIKE ITS A CUTE SILLY IDEA? im just in shock
The beauty of her literally clutching her pearls in the CPS encounter
I grew up in a strict Pentecostal church and I can’t tell you how common these types of couples are. So much shame around sex can cause so many screwed up attitudes from both parties. Some people start equating everything pleasurable with sin so then they just go down this rabbit hole where they just “give in” to their sin and repent later. Others get so terrified that they are paralyzed to speak up for their own boundaries. I’m so thankful I somehow got out of this type of thinking before I got married. I feel horrible for Nia and I hope she can escape Sam and this cult some day
At the start of the video but I looked up their channel and died at the fact their lipsync video is currently titled “Good Looking Parents Sing”. 😂
I liked your take on seeing a therapist for an impartial look at whether you are projecting your own insecurities on your partner or if their behavior has caused you to have doubts. In most situations, the general public would frown upon the idea of limiting a partner's social interactions to only same-gender friendships. Sam "should" be allowed to have women as friends if this was a normal couple, and we would be chastising Nia for trying to control him. But in this situation, Sam broke their agreed upon rules as a couple, the kind a lot of fundies have for no opposite gender social media friends/interactions, and Nia reacted according to their agreement being broken. Therapy would help her or anyone in a similar situation where conventional norms can't be relied upon to unpack their thoughts and emotions.
Yes! Such a wonderful question! "Why are there just so many crappy man in the world?". Wild and sad
i’m insanely early for the first time ever. i’ve seen the netflix documentary about ashley madison but i rage quit and decided to watch alieeze’s video. IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!!
Nice to hear (poor phrasing) that there's another creator I respect who's a part of the chronic pain community. Obviously, I'm sorry that you have chronic pain, but I'm grateful that you're being open about life not being perfect. It's great for everyone's mental health, in my opinion
Learn is an ability neutral alternative
So let me get this straight. If she divorces him and he remarries, she’s guilty of causing an affair in the eyes of god, but if he repeatedly hooks up with other women while they’re married, he’s guilty of nothing because god forgives him ????
It’s interesting bc my mom told me about a homily she heard about this idea. The original context was that men would divorce their wives over non-issues and remarry. This was considered a violation of the original marriage pact. It’s awful that this context is ignored to manipulate women.
Ive never seen Frozen but isn’t “Love is an Open Door” a song between Anna and….the villain? Like isn’t Hans the villain of the movie? I don’t think that’s the greatest song to be singing for any happy couple but it’s entirely fitting for these two.
I think something thats just extra scummy is that so many of the women he cheated with were people they as a couple knew personally. Like it’s a special betrayal to have the majority of your infidelity be with people your wife will probably have to face again. It’s an extra later of disrespect on top of an already heaping pile of disrespect.
1:11:00 “I was TRULY worried about shattering my wife’s world”
[*few pages later*]
“He insisted that our biggest worry should be the potential public exposure” 🤣🤣🤣
That’s what we call an inconsistent narrative 💁♀️
Ha, I'm excited to see this because I watched the Ashley Madison doc and ended up fast forwarding through their segments because they were so insufferable--a Rachel filter is needed for me to learn about these people.
Rachel, I’m so glad to hear you are in school again. You are a positive role model. I hope you did well on the mentioned exam, and I hope you’ve gotten some rest recently. Thank you for sharing your content with all of us!
Thank you so much!!
Blaming the women yet HE chose to sign up for Ashley Maddison…. Yeah I didn’t like him when i watched the doc and I hate him now
I appreciate you sharing your truth about your struggle with chronic pain.
I also deal with chronic pain, including pain in both hips, plus a previous hip surgery to repair a labral tear, and now my legs are uneven by about 2 inches. It is so hard to deal with even with support. But to handle it alone without anyone else knowing makes it so much more difficult.
My heart goes out to you. Please know that you are not alone.
You are strong, resilient, and so courageous for telling your truth. Hugs from the U.S. 🤗
Constantly chasing growth: that's not what Sam wanted. Money is secondary, attention is the primary reason. 'Everyone look at me'
There is something quietly manipulative and weasel-y by revealing cheating to a spouse in a public space where the victim of the cheating can feel publicly humiliated and exposed and vulnerable, and they have to monitor their own emotions because it would draw attention.
So glad to listen to you while working!!
It is refreshing to see someone so open about chronic pain. It sucks and I’m sorry about it. Also, at least where I’m from in the US, advil and ibuprofen and stuff we call pain relievers while we call prescription drugs pain killers. Still wouldn’t know why someone would run with it, you’d think people would understand that different places have different words of things
The amount that I LOATHE these people cannot be expressed. I was immediately annoyed when I saw them in the documentary and my hatred was magnified when I realized they were behind the 2 most obnoxious videos I’ve ever seen online.
The one time we hear about a woman rejecting Sam, and he spends a full chapter whining and insulting her and her photography and insisting that she really did want to sleep with him.
Tell us again how you didn't want to go inside with her, Sam. Go on.
From the sounds of things Sam sounds like a sex addict. This is no way mitigates his responsibility for this own choices and actions. A key part of recovery is to recognise and accept that, and to acknowledge and apoligise for the pain you have caused to others. It's also just the moral and ethical thing to do quite frankly. It seems as if Sam has decided to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to believe he is a victim of circumstances which lead him to bad decisions, and thereby avoid responsibility for this own actions. I have no doubt Sam has cheated more times than has been revealed and will cheat on Nia again.
So he knew that a 4th child could be risky for his wife’s health and he STILL decided a pregnancy test video was the best thing to do. This man clearly does not care about anyone besides himself
I haven’t finished the video yet but I remember a lot of the Sam and Nia major events as they happened in real time. The thing I could never get over going back to the reason anyone even knows them is that the song they lip synced to from Frozen was infamously a song that foreshadows the doomed relationship between the two people singing it (Princess Anna of Arendelle and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, who also infamously turns out to be a hugely untrustworthy absolute garbage guy, majorly manipulating & lying the entire time they knew each other).
Fellow late 20s chronic pain haver here! I so appreciate you acknowledging your pain and just going with it. You’re not alone! Love from California 💜
Thank you for sharing about the physical pain in your life. Chronic pain is common in my family and people who dont experience it, dont always get it. Take care of yourself.
Babe, wake up. New Rachel Oats video essay just dropped!
I hope you're doing ok right now, rachel. I know it's been a rough few days. We support you!
The way you dealt with chronic pain on this was really great. Sometimes the pain and the difficulty with being understanding feels bad and it's so nice to realize that other people aren't always their best selves :)
Thanks for opening up about your chronic pain, I know people online can be crazy but I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability as I also have chronic pain and empathize - I'm very sorry you have to live with this. Please take as many days as you need when making your videos as it's most important to take care of yourself first! ❤❤❤
Thank you for being vulnerable about your health issues. I also have chronic pain (from PCOS) and it can be tough to keep your head up. ❤
Hey Rach!! You need to get some rest! You have all the knowledge you need and you just need to make sure you are in the best frame of mind for your exam xxxx you will ace it! ❤ ❤❤
I watched the Netflix Ashley Madison doc on my flight back from holiday a while back and I didn't really know much about Nia and Sam. I vaguely recognised them from their viral video years ago where he found out she was pregnant before she found out. Cannot wait to learn about more them and their scandals from you Rachel :)
Thank you for speaking out on drunk driving!! So many ppl try to excuse it or to trivialize it.."oh we've all done it!" No, we most certainly have not. I've seen too many innocent ppl killed by reckless, selfish idiots out on the road. Drunk driving should be punished much more severely imo.
"Oh we've all done it" 😨💀👀 I'm very concerned about anyone who would actually say that about drunk driving
1:13:12 Rachel sums it up so perfectly
ok but matthew spamming the family groupchat with updates on the ashley maddison leaks is exactly what i would've done too
YAYAYAYAY NEW 2 HR VIDEO!!! i will cook while listening to this well see if the drama enchances the flavor
This man is the definition of pathetic. Whenever he’s the villain he tries to twist it so that he’s actually just the victim of x and y and all the other letters. Ew.
Also very convenient for him to start telling her about the cheating in massage parlours when he was driving. He can avoid eye contact because he needs to watch the road and she can’t get too upset or he might crash the car. This man is pathetic and a coward.
Rachel Im so sorry to hear about your pain♥️ I have many chronic illnesses and have had 14 surgeries on my left leg that has left me disabled and in pain everyday. I also am careful who I talk about what meds I take and treatments I get just because of judgement I’ve had by people in the past- your story is your story! And it’s yours to tell on your terms! Thank you for sharing part of your story and I hope your pain days are low:’)
Hope you do great on your exam, and good job on working for the second degree! I just started my second job and your long vids are getting me through it all.
Gotta love how absolutely blatant Sam is about prioritizing his dad’s emotions while he was cheating and not an ounce of care spared for his mother’s feelings in regards to the infidelity. He frames it like his dad was only able to find his fulfilling soulmate because he cheated but then doesn’t answer as to why his mom needed to be part of his dad’s search for personal happiness outside his marriage. Nothing was stopping him from divorcing his mother before entering the new relationship with his girlfriend. And yet he doesn’t because like so many self centered scum like Sam & his father, he saw Sam’s mother as his property he selfishly had no interest in relinquishing. Sam’s father’s lying & betrayal was a “necessity” in his eyes to keep his two sex toy maids for as long as possible.
I also find it extremely telling how neither Sam nor Nia acknowledge how Sam’s infidelity was the explicit fulfillment of Nia’s worst nightmare considering how her grandmother drilled into her the traumatic & tragic heartbreak that Nia’s grandfather’s infidelity inflicted upon her and their family. Sam literally commits the most devastating & dreaded experience Nia feared ever having to potentially endure & yet Sam barely owns up to that and Nia bites her tongue, swallows her bile and forgives him anyway because something something “Jesus” something something “Bible” something something “Marriage is a sacred bond” something something “Wives obey your Husbands” etc. It’s truly sickening.
I was born with the same hip thing. I've been walking in the lazy river at the YMCA when I can, and that's helped strengthen things a lot, but still use a wheelchair for work and long distances to prevent exhaustion and damage.
So many of the men in the books your dissect make me all the more grateful for the father I had because he was a stark contrast to these men and most men in general. He was loyal and supportive to my mom, raised my brother and I right and was taken far too soon while so many monsters that claim to be men are allowed to thrive unfettered. Also, can we just call the whole "trad wife" thing that Nia puts forward a great demonstration of is basically just The Stepford Wives IRL?
Update at the end of this: the fact that someone as genuinely good like my dad is dead and gone while scumbags like this get to thrive feels like a sick reminder we live in an unjust universe
rachel!!!! i hope you did well on your exam yesterday!!! i’m sure you did. thank you for putting out this content for us while working on your degree. best wishes ♥️♥️