if you're interested, here's a link to my store if you want any of the candles, stickers, or buttons featured in this video! coleydoesthings.bigcartel.com/
You practically become an eldritch being at that point demanding sacrifices ( more fics ) but your followers are sobbing because they don't have any and to please show mercy
Hello ma'am, I'd like a bucket of angst to go, 2 delicious cups of fluff, 1 amnesia or soulmate AU and a crapload of enemies-to-lovers, hopefully some in Lumity flavor. I'd also really enjoy correct grammar with that. Thanks! Also, add in a couple of oneshots, hold the smut.
I never find good y/n fanficts because in every fanfic i looked through y/n is always a girl and there's also a lot of ✨dirty✨ scenes which.. I'm not really into that😀
Oooooh if any of you guys want some good mha high quality y/n fics, I recommend myherowritings on tumblr! She has really great ones including a couple of SMAUs! Also, yes! So true! It’s so hard to find some good y/n stuff 😭
"Can I have an angst fic- like REALLY angsty." "Oh, are you sure-" "Like where my favorite character dies and everyone is super sad. Just dump a whole cup of angst into it." "..." "And can I have a side of cute sibling dynamics to cheer me up afterwards." "Good choice for the cute sibling dynamics."
"Unfortunately, we have ran out of fluffy ingredients after passerine and flowers came out, and people wanted a way to drown out all the sorrows those two fics caused. I am very sorry for the inconvenience, would you like to order something else?"
Well, there is Evermore...not sure if you'd want it tho. It's incredibly sad and depressing and the person writing it has no angst impulse control and used up all our angst stock a few months ago. However, a lot of people are still ordering it despite my warnings. ( **mumbles** some even came back. F*cking self-hurting bastards.) Do you want that?
“Excuse me, barista? There’s smut in this.” “I’m sorry, is that not what you wanted? You ordered a friends to lovers fic and they’re both consenting adults so I didn’t think it would be out of place...” “Do I look like someone who would order SMUT?" "Listen, lady, I don't judge. If you want, I'll just toss this and you can order one without smut." "I said it's not what I ordered, I didn't say I wouldn't drink it." * *proceeds to chug the whole vente sized, 9 chapter, fic in one sitting* * "Oh okay... never mind then..."
"Hey can I have one more nightmare hurt/comfort oneshot?" "Sir this is your 30th oneshot in a row please try something else." *"Hand me my hurt/comfort."*
6:14 was just amazing. The little kid laughter, the cries and how the barista ins't even that mad like this was a common occurrence. That kid's gonna become a veteran before they've become an adult.
Loving the implication that fics are like potions and writing them is like alchemy/mixology. Which also implies that the imbiber drinks the fic potion and violently hallucinates the fic
Imagine going into a fanfic cafe, two people order a coffee shop au and then they meet in the cafe and it BECOMES a coffee shop au... (Coley if there's any way you see this PLEASE DO IT IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER PART)
When did the term “lemon” start to die? I started reading fanfiction back in 2017, and I saw the word around occasionally, but I didn’t figure out what it meant until much later.
Me in the fanfic cafe: “Hey.” _pulls barista closer and whispers_ “I what a really really hardcore smut oneshot with a f*ck ton of details and feels.” Barista: “..are you okay?” “No. gimme my oneshot.” “We can make it but the good stuff is really rare and hard to find.” “I. Do. Not. Care.” “Ok-” “AND REMEMBER IT’S CONSENSUAL!” “okie.”
yeah, i like to think they are good ideas, yet i cant for shit and when making comics or fan manga kinda end up being one of those fanfic writers who never finish their WIP
The way I explain it (*cough* justify it to myself *cough*) is that usually we see how people truly are when they are in pain - whether that be emotional, physical, or psychological.
@@GaymerMajorthat person might not be a newcomer, she might be indecisive, lol. I know that’s probably what people in fast-food places see when I order because I’m indecisive to a ‘T’ 😭.
"You should be checking what you're consuming" Me: No I like adrenaline 😈 * *50 chapters later* * Me: That was the angstiest fanfic I've ever read. Oh my god, I wanna di3.
There are 2 people who ask for smut: Person one, very quietly: "C-can I have s-s-sm-" Waiter: "What?" Person one: "Smu-sm-" Waiter: "Oh you want smut? Well what exactly to you want in it?" Person one: "I-" OR Waiter: "Hello! How may I- Person 2: "Yeah I want a rated E fic, Soulmate AU, with LOTS of spicy stuff and can you add a bit of fluff in there too? Thanks!" Waiter: "Oh..ok"
"So, uh... you got any enemies to lovers in stock?" "Sure thing! We've got anything from school rivals to --" "No, I mean. Actual enemies. The main villain. Preferably in-character, redemption is optional but well done if it's included." "Oh. OH." "Yeahhhh..." "That's going to be a little bit more difficult but we can start working out the prices -- let's see, that's going to be slow burn, plenty of angst, self loathing, torture...?" "GOD YES." "... Alright then!" *customer service smile*
And then if anyone looks at the ship and protests, "but they HATE each other," you just look up the TV tropes "go-karting with Bowser" page so you can quote the canon for "remember that one time they got along? It's totally proof that this ship was plausible!"
“Yeah, can I get the angst one shot, and then the follow up angst one shot, and ah, what the heck, give me a 70k slow burn friends to lovers with a pinch of angst as well.” “Ma’am, it’s 2 in the morning” “I know, fork it over”
"Alright. Could I get fluffy one shots because that's what I really want but, I can't help but be curious so go ahead and give me a couple of angst oneshots as well. Oh, you have an angsty slow burn with miscommunication, violence, and a character with suicidal thoughts? Sure I'll take it. And because I'll probably be an emotional wreck after that go ahead and give me some more fluff one shots and a friends to lovers slow burn soulmate au with lots of fluff." "You know, you don't have to get the angst if you don't want it." "Actually, I do." "Why?" "Because I hate myself. Now can I please have my stuff. Thank you!"
Me: hi can I get a complex fantasy AU for **insert ship here?** Make it an angsty as hell enemies to lovers slowburn with no graphic smut, background or implied smut is fine. Feel free to add as much fighting and miscommunication as you want, as well as graphic descriptions of violence. Oh, and if you can, add dragons :3 “Okay, well that’s really specific... we found one fic that fits this but it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated in a month with no set number of chapters, and we have no idea where the author is or if they’re on hiatus or not- Me: *THANKS I’LL TAKE IT*
"Um can i get a homestuck crossover or au." "Which other fandom would you like?" "I dunno madoka magica?" "I see you dont mind major character death." "For the hell of it see if you can throw in hanahaki or smth." "Are you sure?" "Im running away from my family issues do it before i ask for something more violent."
"I need all the fluff you have" "Okay! One 10k fluff with extra friends to lovers!" "I don't think you understand. I said ALL THE FLUFF YOU HAVE" "...One 30k coming right up!"
"Hi!" "Hello, what can I get for you?" "Um, i'd like an unrequited love with boatloads of angst, miscommunication, hurt, and yearning?" "You- you *what* ?" "Um- I said-" "No I know what you said, my problem is wHY WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO THAT??"
"Oh, also, do you serve any 'depression' here?" "No, only angst, but its basically the same thing-" "NO! I need depression to!!!" *"WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF---"*
Should've said it with dialogue tags like- *Barista:* “Hi! Welcome to the Fanfic Cafe! What can I get you today?” *Customer:* “Hm... well, my favourite trope is a Coffee Shop AU with *Barista x Customer”* *Barista:* 👁👄👁
"Who would read this willingly!?" Me: *slowly sets down angst filled lovers to enemies fanfic full of major character death and tons of gore* Uhhhhhhhh-
I've realized from watching all of Chloe's videos that people mainly read fics for the ship content... Then there's me who just likes watching my favorite charecters put in the most sad and painful situations while everyone remains completely platonic- (but I mean tbh that's just the majority of my fandom)
For all those wondering: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat Tag used as a warning for extremely disturbing content in a work, often fanwork. ‘This fanfiction is tagged with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat". I’m sensitive, so I won’t read it.’
Yep it’s based on a show(don’t remember what rn) where a person comes across a container labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”. Person is curious about what’s inside, and turns out to be exactly what the label said. So basically it’s just a label that’s meant to be used when somethings really heavy/dark and is just a “You saw the label, so don’t expect anything else” tag
*distressed, slightly unstable looking person walks in, with bloodshot eyes, weak limbs, looking like they haven't slept for days*: give me all the crack >:(((
I’m a dumpster diver too but every so often we can go in to the cafe for some Premium quality crack but it Only happens 1 to 4 a year and most times it 1 to 2
Okay but if your "usual order" is friends to lovers slow burn with light angst and miscommunication then of course you're going to get that all the time--THAT IS A *MASTERPIECE*.
@@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I It was explained to me that it came from a bit from a TV show I think? A character opened the fridge, saw a bag with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" written on it, but opened the bag regardless. Surprise surprise - inside there was a dead dove, and the character commented that they didn't know what they were expecting. It basically means that if you see content that is crealy labeled, and you dislike the label, you should just not look at it. It was labeled (or tagged, or titled, etc) for a reason. Essentially - don't open a bag labeled "Dead Dove" if you don't want to see a dead dove lmao
"Do you have any...Y/N stuff?" "Yes, of course! But I warn you, the higher the quality, the harder it is to find, so that will be reflected in the price." I just noticed how accurate that is. It is _so_ damn rare to find actual high quality reader insert fics, so I just settle for decent writing even if the plot is crap. *cough* Lookin' at you, Wattpad-- *cough cough*
Same, good ones should be cherished. I only find like- 5 or 6 in Ao3 and Quotev(per fandom yeeyee) wattpad has alot more but like- the high quality ones are hard to find. Either deep down in the search list or high up in the search list. Usually the latter. After the 8th one it's usually oneshots or not so good.
Um so if you'd like I could maybe write you something...depending on the fandom. also i’m not the best but I get decent views and followers so I guess i’m good. I'm @Virgil_Storm PM me if your interested.
I'm so sad this isn't real. I love the idea of being able to find qualified people to hand create a personal story for me, to my specifications. I don't have to waste time reading stories with stuff I hate, a small author gets monetary support for their hard work. This whole concept would be awesome!
"Do you have any... *_ballet or theatre AU_*_ in stock?"_ "Only oneshots. and It's the standard 'get partnered for a scene and fall for each other' story" "Yeah, I figured. Sort of an exotic flavor for this particular fandom brand." "Oh, Here's one. This one has a love triangle!" "Oh, okay. A little more substance maybe? the tags look vague enough that it might be my notp though.. I guess I can risk it?" "The triangle includes a _Director/Writer..."_ "OH! Okay. A little more diverse flavor profile" "And the _Director/Writer_ is the *other half of the OTP,*" *"NOT THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! THIS is the goooood shit."*
If this were a place I would go to it every day "Hi! what can I get you?" "Oh, I'll take a sickfic..." "Mm-hm..." "With a bit of Angst...," * jots it down* "a lot of Fluff.." "Yep." "Hurt/Comfort...a situation where the sickie leaves his bed when he should be resting..." "Got that." "Cuddling, You know, all of that sweet, fluffy stuff. Not too fluffy though. Wouldn't wanna get diabetes. Eh, screw it, Could you maybe add a stomach ache to that?" "Oddly specific, but OK..." "And...With this platonic ship, please." "Got it! Is that all?" "Yep. Thanks!" *Later* ""It tastes like vanilla, sugar, and candy. Probably because of all the Fluff I added. Best choice ever."
Self-hating-crying-myself-to-sleep frappe: - 2 tablespoons of scolding hot slowburn - 4 drops of your favourite miscommunications - 1.5 tablespoon of excessive crying - 2 pinches of jealousy - 1 tablespoon of mourning - 0.5 drop of unrequited love - 2 pinches of happiness or fluff. (this makes it that your drink is both easier and harder for a customer) - 2 tablespoons of your favourite cliche, if your customer doesn't specify (enemies to lovers, childhood friends, you know) - 3 pinches of pure angst (no more! we don't want end with "and everyone died. the end!" smoothie) And, last but not least - 1 drop of major character death (some put less, but trust me on this) stir well, we don't want any plotholes, decorate with normalisation cream, sprinkle with some attachment beforehand and glass crumbs (don't go overboard) serve cool with a spoon and napkins. and eat! Of course, it's a whole drink, but you can use it as a base. Go wild! honestly, the fanfic cafe is such a small niche, I really like that it's getting attention it deserves.
Honestly tried this. And i thought it to be too intense for my taste. But i found making 2 tsp of mourning with only 1 tablespoon of excessive crying makes it less potent and blends it all out altogether. Also to make it less emotional crippling, substitute major death with mock death. But that's just me.
Lol and then there was my ass at this age rolling up completely shamless like: "Hi can I get some Yugioh smut but it has to be incredibly fluffy and mostly about the plot. Wlw; genderswaped is fine. Also could I possibly get this in ancient Egypt?" "...have you read this before..? You seem rather,,, sure of your taste" "Nope, never, but my mom's giving me multiple fucking 'Talks' _and I need the exposure therapy"_ (I did find the perfect fic btw. no cap saved my fucking ass I _swear_ )
“UM EXCUSE ME, I WOULD LIKE A REFUND.” “Oh uhhhh.._you again_” “YES ME AGAIN, I WANT A REFUND.” “Haha..” “*MY FIC WAS UPDATED LIKE 9 YEARS AGO. THIS IS UNFINISHED. I *DEMAND* A REFUND.” “Ok, I’m sorry but we don’t give refunds, how about we get you something else..?” “NOTHING CAN GET BACK THE MINUTES I SPENT READING AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE PLOT-“ “Would a tattoo artist x floral artist AU be good?” “..._*you son of a bitch I’m in*_”
Yes. This. I’m trying to get into newer fandoms for this reason exactly. *looking at you, old 90s tv shows I fell in love with because of that one fanfic in the fandom that was finished.*
oooooo those candles are a cool idea, imagine reading a fanfic and depending on what type it is you light a certain candle! sounds like a calming experience
"Hey waiter can I get another oneee shot over here?" "Woah baby" "Hey waiter I am gonna need at least five more of these babies" Ok that is basically me
How this could be real: Fanfiction Cafe's are like editorial offices or whatever. The cafe has to also get permissions with studios to send price portions. And fic writers get a portion. I don't know much about business... But I'm open for suggestions. You know, turn fanfiction into a bigger job opportunity.
Ok but imagine an actual cafe but based on the drink you order and your preferences (regular customers can set up their preferences on a website or whatever) they recommend you a fic. I would sell both my kidneys to fund this.
It also could be a fangirl/boy friendly space, meaning some shelves with manga and books, free wifi and you can rent a tablet while you are there to read better, some posters and a "ship of the month" award in the wall and the most important thing: there is screaming permission and everyone understands It could even have like a space where locals can go to left their own printed fanfics c:
Could I take a well written fanfic, with good plot, hold back a little bit with romance and add more friendship, and family development. Waiter: yes, but it will take like hours to make and find. Fine I’ll just take angst.
😳 my fandom is super active, there's like 1K new fics every week and I see one of those passing by my feed (or in fav tags) every now and then. i'm actually writing one atm :D
The ancient magus bride has some really good oneshots and drabbles. Not to mention the anime is similar to beauty and the beast but with it's own spin. It's not an adaption of beauty and the beast but has a similar vibe to that tale.
YOU HAVE AN ANNE WITH AN E FICCCC? I NEED IT. COPY AND PASTE THE LI- oh wait. I just now realized as I was typing, emotional damage. Does it have a happy ending
I had a real surprise red string connected to someone today. Though, it was because a ribbon on my costume was coming undone and my cat noticed. Destined to be a crazy cat lady-
Me with "Can I get a highschool au where the school's students have certain powers, 3 gay ships and one straight, 75k - 100k word count, 4 pumps of angst on every ship, and add more than 3 cups of abuse, self harm, mentions of suicide, oh, did I forget that the main characters were childhood friends drifted apart?.... Also, I would also like an x depressed reader, angst of course, with a 25k - 50k word count"
as a Potterhead AND a Drarry fan... I gotta say that the Angst in our fandom is..... *A lot.* And a lot of the time it's very well written so 84% of the time you will find me sobbing at least 2 times while reading fics. :,)
In my case it's misunderstandings. Cannot handle the darned things, especially if they're too early in the story so there hasn't been anything else to dilute them yet. Make me want to scream because fuck the characters are being idiots and I can see exactly how that's going to go and spiral into the entire plot of the fic and I just end up not reading any more of it.
Me: Yeah, could I please get some Found Family? Server: Oh, sure, no Smut, I assume? Me: Yep. No smut. But, uhh... a little romance is fine, as long as it doesn’t overshadow the Family part. S: Of course. Any specific relationship you’d like to focus on? Me: Yeah! (Insert hella cute platonic ship here) S: Ooh! We’ve been getting a lot of requests for that one lately. Could I recommend a bit of hard Angst and Hurt/Comfort to really *spicen up* the flavor? Me: Yes please! But I would also like it if you made the Comfort and Fluff like, tooth-rottingly sweet, please? S: Yes of course! Please sit down for a moment while I prepare your drink! (A few minutes later) Me, walking out of the store with a Good ole’ Venti cup in my hands: *Holy fuck I didn’t realize this was a Slow-Burn but I’m too emotionally invested to give up now.* Edit: These replies are giving me lots of happy chemicals.
“Hello I would like to order a heavy angst, hurt no comfort with depression maybe sucide and major character death. Long as possible and a slow burn.” “... are you okay?”
Read smile for me it's really well-written Mammon angst so much major character death not mention it's kinda long definitely hurt though a lil bit of comfort but it doesn't last long yes I'm not the author of this fic I love this fic so dang much. Also the major character death happens in many different ways. Though I think there is some self sacrifice suicide in it too. Trust me it's the best angst fic I've read that in that fandom.
Jeremiah Dalton not trying to be rude or anything, but what does your sexuality, race and gender have anything to do with reading fics? Like I can understand why you would asks something like “Hey, am I the only 13 year old who reads a shitload of fanfics?” but I don’t understand the others. I’m again, not trying to be rude, I’m genuinely curious because I don’t understand.
@@ece9108 I think the gender is actually kinda How do you say it? Crucial? (Idk I'm not English) Because there is this stigma that only girls read fanfics¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯
Миша oh yeah, now that I think about that, you might be right. There IS a stigma on that. Tho there isn’t any on sexuality and race. At least, not that I’m aware of.
Jeremiah Dalton oh, I didn’t know about that. That’s so stupid tho, just because you are a male and read fanfics doesn’t mean you are gay or trans. That doesn’t even make sense. Fanfics don’t have a gender or sexuality, or even race. Thanks for explaining it to me btw.
"Can I get an Royalty AU with slow burn and miscommunications with angst and some major character death, please? Preferably well written and not too dialogue heavy, I'll leave the ending and rating up to you. I need something that will remind me that I actually have feelings."
"Why of course! However, We unfortunately ran out of slow burn products, as one of our staff 'accidentally' used it all up into one fic! I'm LOOKING AT YOU TBHYOURLAME!!" "*Inhales and exhales* anyways, can I interest you on one of our highly requested passerine fic? It's pretty much what you previously ordered, but without the slow burn part."
I’m The Fan Fic Reader Who Normally Goes in Knowing What I Vaguely Want Then I Search For a Few Minutes,&,Wind up Finding Some Awesome Tags,&,Loving What I Read
Me: enters the cafe and decide that they feeling nostalgic and want to revisit an old favorite that is sure to have new meaning with the context of recent self revelations. The fic: has been not only discontinued, but has been erased without a trace.
For real though, if anyone has an archived copy of the hannah Montana fanfic about oliver getting turned into a girl via magic, mostly just goes with the flow with it and then chooses to stay a girl when the ability to reverse the magic is found. Yeah, if anyone has a copy of it, please lemme haz. Iirc, it was called like "One of the Girls"
Me: *literally trys everything in the shop, even fandoms I'm not in* Also me: cool I have ever been so desensitized to bad writing and gore and smut and angst and other things that's it's rare for me to find something good. And when I find something good... I praise the hell out of it.
That's why I'm glad I ended up in big fandoms. The chances of finding a good fic is higher, it also means there's more bad fics too, but that's what reddit is for.
if you're interested, here's a link to my store if you want any of the candles, stickers, or buttons featured in this video!
coleydoesthings.bigcartel.com/
Will definitely be checking it out!
I'll buy 100
I am coming to this cafe, rn. I need the adress.
Gonna Buy All Those Candles!!!
"I could sue you for emotional damages!"
Boi, if that ain't a mood
ATUS be like-
karen be like-
Every unhappy fast food customer be like-
ASOTM who?
In another universe be like-
“Hey waiter can I get another oneshot over here?” I’ve never felt more called out in my life
Really? I thought I was the only one!
Lol same
Same
Oneshots are like mini cupcakes to me. Easy to consume and enjoyable!
Same
@@xoxlillikittyxox1846 Yeah! Plus you don't have to wait for updates or risk them being unfinished
All the rare ship people making their drinks at home bc they know the cafe won’t have it
yeah that's me u h
i-,,,,, okay then,, didn’t expect to be called out today
😭😭😭😭 (the other side of:) 🎶All by myself🎶
how dare you call me out like this
High five everybody
"MORE ANGST. M O R E ."
"Ma'am, you've ordered ten angst fanfics in one sitti-"
"MORE."
*W H Y I S T H I S M E*
Me
"OH SHIT, SHE'S OD'ING! QUICK, TOSS ME A SHOT OF PURE FLUFF! WE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER LAW SUIT OVER A BROKEN HEART!!"
This is me. I really don’t care what’s in it as long as 99 percent of the tags are angst and hurt/comfort
angst would be the fanfic equivalent of expresso shots, i believe
This is basically ColeyDoesThings's Coffee Shop Au and I love it.
I want this to be real 😫
Like bakery from the WEBTOON Crumbs
@@jinx8627 Holy crap, I love Crumbs!
@@jinx8627 Yes!!!
No.
When you're in a small fanfiction circle:
Me: "I want more!"
Waiter: "Ma'am, you just took our entire stock."
Me: "F it- I'll make it myself."
You practically become an eldritch being at that point demanding sacrifices ( more fics ) but your followers are sobbing because they don't have any and to please show mercy
Or...
Me: I want more!
Also me: Ah shit, I have to write it
felt.
Man... same with uncommon ships!
I am dying of family content fic and decide to make it.
Best decision ever.
hi yes i’d like a fake dating au with a shitload of fluff and a sprinkle of angst
Take ma money!
I'll take my usual.
Hello ma'am, I'd like a bucket of angst to go, 2 delicious cups of fluff, 1 amnesia or soulmate AU and a crapload of enemies-to-lovers, hopefully some in Lumity flavor. I'd also really enjoy correct grammar with that. Thanks!
Also, add in a couple of oneshots, hold the smut.
So...turns out I got banned for asking for 5 mega cups of hardcord smut, 45 Crack ships shots, and two deep angst.
Hiiii... do you guys serve ABO here? Oh, secret menu? Okay.
I accidentally read a story with the tag; “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”
I’m scarred for life.
Lol I send you my respect
whenever I see those I nope out of there regardless of plot
i read the summary of one and now i'm also scarred for life
What is dead dove: do not eat?
@@helloimarabbit4083 a fic where it’s either just really gorey or just really disturbing
"carry any y/n stuff?"
"of course but the higher the quality the harder it is to find-"
*wheezes in why is that so true*
When Two Souls Meet by Zana B Sparrows, anyone?
I never find good y/n fanficts because in every fanfic i looked through y/n is always a girl and there's also a lot of ✨dirty✨ scenes which.. I'm not really into that😀
Oh my goodness as a y/n ff person this is so fricking true-
@@orion8913 same
Oooooh if any of you guys want some good mha high quality y/n fics, I recommend myherowritings on tumblr! She has really great ones including a couple of SMAUs! Also, yes! So true! It’s so hard to find some good y/n stuff 😭
me sticking to hilariously terrible fics like: Oh my god this is GARBAGE....I'll take your entire stock
Won day I went to parc. At parc there's a fre pupee!! Wow that is rely lucke. I am hapy. The en
Are you me???
Same
@@inactive9550 I love it here
I ironically read on Wattpad for that reason
"This is nothing but pain, why would anyone voluntarily drink this," well....
Sadomasochism?
@@kitkat1321 you should try emotional hurt
Me-
Now this looks like a job for me 😻
Me
"Can I have an angst fic- like REALLY angsty."
"Oh, are you sure-"
"Like where my favorite character dies and everyone is super sad. Just dump a whole cup of angst into it."
"..."
"And can I have a side of cute sibling dynamics to cheer me up afterwards."
"Good choice for the cute sibling dynamics."
"Unfortunately, we have ran out of fluffy ingredients after passerine and flowers came out, and people wanted a way to drown out all the sorrows those two fics caused. I am very sorry for the inconvenience, would you like to order something else?"
Now that is my cup of tea
Well, there is Evermore...not sure if you'd want it tho. It's incredibly sad and depressing and the person writing it has no angst impulse control and used up all our angst stock a few months ago. However, a lot of people are still ordering it despite my warnings. ( **mumbles** some even came back. F*cking self-hurting bastards.) Do you want that?
@@zeenoash.8805 ayyeee passerine! I know that one!
*sobs*
where is this fic where is it where is the fic w
Tbh the NSFW fics should be a bar adjacent to the cafe (andtheownershaveanenemiestoloverstensionjustBOILINGbetweenthem-)
why do I need this in my life, someone write a fic T^T
✨Completely agreed✨
With lots and lots of smut in it...
Is it illegal for minors to read or write smut of was that just a joke
@@starfleetcomm idk if its illegal but there is a lot of +18 stuff in there
“Excuse me, barista? There’s smut in this.”
“I’m sorry, is that not what you wanted? You ordered a friends to lovers fic and they’re both consenting adults so I didn’t think it would be out of place...”
“Do I look like someone who would order SMUT?"
"Listen, lady, I don't judge. If you want, I'll just toss this and you can order one without smut."
"I said it's not what I ordered, I didn't say I wouldn't drink it."
* *proceeds to chug the whole vente sized, 9 chapter, fic in one sitting* *
"Oh okay... never mind then..."
Not the one I expect, but welcome for sure
I never thought I will relate to this post
Me.
In a nutshell.
Me.
why is this meee
"Hey can I have one more nightmare hurt/comfort oneshot?"
"Sir this is your 30th oneshot in a row please try something else."
*"Hand me my hurt/comfort."*
kyedraws
Me: *”And give me Found Family with that.”*
If that ain't a mood.
*ALL THE HURT COMFORT*
but i homebrew most of mine, I’ve tried all of em in my fandoms :/
Its all ive read for weeks
I just love them. ^^ I like hypnosis, too. But kind, consensual ones.
6:14 was just amazing. The little kid laughter, the cries and how the barista ins't even that mad like this was a common occurrence. That kid's gonna become a veteran before they've become an adult.
I was... 😅
@@erinbathie-moore8478 I was also 💀
@@AlexAnIdiot_Welcome to the club, have some bleach 🫠
i was….
thats me!
one-shots would be just pure shots of caffeine
*_HIYESCANIHAVE50SHOTSOFESPRESSO_* THANK
@@taestea6097 Why is this so funny to me? XDDD
@@xoxlillikittyxox1846 BECAUSE *_E N E R G Y_*
One shots are espresso to me. I love them.
They'd probably have vodka and spice in it too, based on the contents👀
Explain a video so badly:
A legal blackmarket with people voluntarily hurting themselves
So a legal black market
@@callmeravenlee1972 yes
A legal black market for masochistic content viewers, most being shippers-
@@JLC-hd1lj YOU ARE A GENIUS
@@hithere8789 Nah man, just saying how I see it-
*"WhY iS iT sPiCy?"*
Me whenever I read a fanfic with smut on the first chapter:
oh you poor, poor thing :)
wow if a story has that, it Sialkot doesn’t even start until about the sixteenth chapter, and it’s always forceddd
After a while, you don't really blink at the smut.
But the fluff is too embarrasing to not get flustered with.
Smol Ferret ew
Smol Ferret w h y w o u l d y o u e v e n d o t h a t
Loving the implication that fics are like potions and writing them is like alchemy/mixology. Which also implies that the imbiber drinks the fic potion and violently hallucinates the fic
This is one of those things that we wish were real but isn't.
Spitting facts.
True
Ima make an online website at some point like this-
of course it's real, it's called ao3
@@kys8381 If you ever manage to get around to doing it, could you send the link to commentmerchant@gmail.com?
"can I get aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-" is me after I finish a great fic and don't know what to do with my life
Tara Jones
For me searching for another found family fic is the way tbh
yeah
Welp I have found another Tara
Yep. Everytime
I think this is the state I’ve been in for the past two years
Is... Is this an elaborate way of promoting your candles , stickers and etc.?
Damn , I knew you were smart
*v e r y s m a r t*
She is *good*
woah. like, big brain time over here.
She created an entire universe and characters to sell us candles and stickers and I AM HERE FOR IT.
7:08 the hope in her eyes-
I will be that costumer.
Like a fanart? want a fanfic about it.
Like the fanfic? Gimmie the fanart.
I love the fresh smell of angst in the morning
XDD
“Nothing else in the world smells like that.”
nothing starts your morning like reading In Another Life...
Ah yes, it truly brings out the misery in the atmosphere.
xoxLilli Kittyxox “The horror! The horror!”
Imagine going into a fanfic cafe, two people order a coffee shop au and then they meet in the cafe and it BECOMES a coffee shop au...
(Coley if there's any way you see this PLEASE DO IT IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER PART)
Forth wall **shattered**
IT ALL COMES TOGETHER
The bonding powers of coffee 🤧👌🏻
Why do I want this to be a thing???? 😂
now I wanna write something based on this lol
That oneshot bit was a MOOOOD.
“I’m gonna need five more of these babies-“
No kidding 😂
Damn right. Who needs to commit to a story when you can just chug oneshot after oneshot
"I'm not in any position to judge, I mean, lord knows what I'm into" THIS SPEAKS TO MY SOUL
WJEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED WHEN ALL BY MYSELF PLAYED SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND ASDJDKFKSKAKD
HEY NADIA, LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
@@diegoandresbaldelomarpinto8367 but really who doesn't? *slaughters everyone who doesn't*
HAHAHAH YEAH I DID TOO
Ayy Nadia!
SAME
"How's your ABO?"
"Knotty, but if you're into that sort of thing, nice."
Omg I didn’t catch that 😂
Literally just read it as she was saying it lol
i see you're a person of culture as well
noOOOO i didnt catch that pun shit
I thought she said naughty but this is even better lol
"What's in your hanahaki fics?"
"Flower petals, blood, needless suffering, and a f*ck ton of angst"
*exactly my cup of tea*
'cup of tea'
'coffee shop'
was that intentional
@@CovensAgainstTheThrone *maybe..maybe not..who knows?*
Ooh I’ll take one to go-
You made a pun and therefor earned my respect
Same
Not only does she accurately portray how fandoms froth in the mouth over tropes, but also painfully accurately portrayed the retail experience
Two words. Diabetes and food poisoning.
That's what you get here l-l
did you mean: a bunch of fluff and tons of angst
Same name!!!
We are family now
yes we live for the fluff and angst
@@trutrutrucy the wh a t
@@trutrutrucy bro do you mean hurt/comfort??
"This is nothing but pain, why would anyone drink that??"
Angst readers:
Unhappy endings' fans:
Merlin fandom:
You really gotta call me out with that last one huh?
Angst is what gives me life
Why did you make me remember the ending of MERLIN!
Also I got my mom into it and we are on the last season..... Pray for me because I'm a ugly cryer
...called me out huh?
Oof that last one how dare you!
The "why is it sour?!" line killed me. No one calls smut fics Lemons anymore and I almost miss it.
honestly same! i got into reading fanfiction when the term lemon was dying, and so i just call them lemons regardless, because it's a nice vague term
Are we that old? 😂😢
When did the term “lemon” start to die? I started reading fanfiction back in 2017, and I saw the word around occasionally, but I didn’t figure out what it meant until much later.
I call smut fics lemons on a regular basis-
Oh yeah lemons
Me in the fanfic cafe:
“Hey.” _pulls barista closer and whispers_ “I what a really really hardcore smut oneshot with a f*ck ton of details and feels.”
Barista: “..are you okay?”
“No. gimme my oneshot.”
“We can make it but the good stuff is really rare and hard to find.”
“I. Do. Not. Care.”
“Ok-”
“AND REMEMBER IT’S CONSENSUAL!”
“okie.”
I had to voice this in real life😂
Anybody else lay awake in bed full of fanfiction ideas, writing the entire thing mentally..
Only to forget it the next morning?
✋
Just about every night!
yeah, i like to think they are good ideas, yet i cant for shit and when making comics or fan manga kinda end up being one of those fanfic writers who never finish their WIP
@@transmission5694 ^^THIS
you should keep a notebook to jot your ideas down
Lmao yeah I wrote an entire smut fic in my head word for word and now I can’t remember any of it
Edit: spelling
“this is nothing but pain why would anyone voluntarily drink this” i-
*coughs*
_turns away and looks_ *literally* _anywhere else-_
pain is tasty
honestly angst is probably one of my favorite things to read
The way I explain it (*cough* justify it to myself *cough*) is that usually we see how people truly are when they are in pain - whether that be emotional, physical, or psychological.
*_Me browsing the Dead Dove tag_*
"yeah could i get a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
if that isn't a mood-
Coley should've gone like: a newcomer I see might I recommend childhood friends fluff with collage au, it's perfect for beginners
Ahmet M. Cerrah mine was a summer vacation au where the side aggravation character became an ally and sped up the canon slow burn
@@GaymerMajorthat person might not be a newcomer, she might be indecisive, lol. I know that’s probably what people in fast-food places see when I order because I’m indecisive to a ‘T’ 😭.
"You should be checking what you're consuming"
Me: No I like adrenaline 😈
* *50 chapters later* *
Me: That was the angstiest fanfic I've ever read. Oh my god, I wanna di3.
The amount of ships and fandoms you would have to have I-
Well now see, you go to Ships R Us to find your fandom and ship, and bring it to the Fanfic Cafe- a "Bring Your Own Cup" scenario, I believe! 😂
@@afeatherinthewind ahhh yes 😂
There are 2 people who ask for smut:
Person one, very quietly: "C-can I have s-s-sm-"
Waiter: "What?"
Person one: "Smu-sm-"
Waiter: "Oh you want smut? Well what exactly to you want in it?"
Person one: "I-"
OR
Waiter: "Hello! How may I-
Person 2: "Yeah I want a rated E fic, Soulmate AU, with LOTS of spicy stuff and can you add a bit of fluff in there too? Thanks!"
Waiter: "Oh..ok"
~singing~
A
to the
M
to the
E
to the
N!!!!
can i get an amen!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣✌️✌️
I would so be person one because I’m always so shy especially about things like that lol
I would probably cry while asking for smut
@@trashchild5945
Waiter: "A-are you ok-
You, crying: "please don't judge me.."
nope theres a third:
waiter: he-
person 3: -i nEED TENTACLES STAT
"So, uh... you got any enemies to lovers in stock?"
"Sure thing! We've got anything from school rivals to --"
"No, I mean. Actual enemies. The main villain. Preferably in-character, redemption is optional but well done if it's included."
"Oh. OH."
"Yeahhhh..."
"That's going to be a little bit more difficult but we can start working out the prices -- let's see, that's going to be slow burn, plenty of angst, self loathing, torture...?"
"GOD YES."
"... Alright then!" *customer service smile*
Shit literally what I love to read
And then if anyone looks at the ship and protests, "but they HATE each other," you just look up the TV tropes "go-karting with Bowser" page so you can quote the canon for "remember that one time they got along? It's totally proof that this ship was plausible!"
Well the tag is enemies to lovers not rivals to lovers.
Jesus Christ Jack, just say Catradora, this is taking forever.
This is me
"AAAAAAAA IT BURNSS"
Me chugging the thing: *WEAK*
I see you're a person of culture as well.
"Why is it spicy?"
Me who who has been absorbing this like mac n cheese: *You, are W E A K*
Me
NATURAL SELECTION IS COMING
Aggree
Same
Yyyyyup
the kid that stole the smut bottle and screamed, "IIIIII'M GONNA CHUG IT!" is literally me
that was me at 16 lol
Mood lmao
Same but at 9
@@user-ec6ue8jy7p woah i thought i was the only 9 year old reading smut djskjdd
Nah I'd be chugging the fluff- smut is too much for me lmao
“Yeah, can I get the angst one shot, and then the follow up angst one shot, and ah, what the heck, give me a 70k slow burn friends to lovers with a pinch of angst as well.”
“Ma’am, it’s 2 in the morning”
“I know, fork it over”
"Alright. Could I get fluffy one shots because that's what I really want but, I can't help but be curious so go ahead and give me a couple of angst oneshots as well. Oh, you have an angsty slow burn with miscommunication, violence, and a character with suicidal thoughts? Sure I'll take it. And because I'll probably be an emotional wreck after that go ahead and give me some more fluff one shots and a friends to lovers slow burn soulmate au with lots of fluff."
"You know, you don't have to get the angst if you don't want it."
"Actually, I do."
"Why?"
"Because I hate myself. Now can I please have my stuff. Thank you!"
I feel so called out.
Me: hi can I get a complex fantasy AU for **insert ship here?** Make it an angsty as hell enemies to lovers slowburn with no graphic smut, background or implied smut is fine. Feel free to add as much fighting and miscommunication as you want, as well as graphic descriptions of violence. Oh, and if you can, add dragons :3
“Okay, well that’s really specific... we found one fic that fits this but it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated in a month with no set number of chapters, and we have no idea where the author is or if they’re on hiatus or not-
Me: *THANKS I’LL TAKE IT*
"Um can i get a homestuck crossover or au."
"Which other fandom would you like?"
"I dunno madoka magica?"
"I see you dont mind major character death."
"For the hell of it see if you can throw in hanahaki or smth."
"Are you sure?"
"Im running away from my family issues do it before i ask for something more violent."
"I need all the fluff you have"
"Okay! One 10k fluff with extra friends to lovers!"
"I don't think you understand. I said ALL THE FLUFF YOU HAVE"
"...One 30k coming right up!"
"Hi!"
"Hello, what can I get for you?"
"Um, i'd like an unrequited love with boatloads of angst, miscommunication, hurt, and yearning?"
"You- you *what* ?"
"Um- I said-"
"No I know what you said, my problem is wHY WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO THAT??"
Can relate
Well, i love those...? Guilty pleasure
reads this on the daily. Can confirm.
"Oh, also, do you serve any 'depression' here?"
"No, only angst, but its basically the same thing-"
"NO! I need depression to!!!"
*"WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF---"*
“Hi! Welcome to the Fanfic Cafe! What can I get you today?”
“Hm... well, my favourite trope is a Coffee Shop AU with Barista x Customer”
“👁👄👁”
That literally does nothing to narrow it down.
Should've said it with dialogue tags like-
*Barista:* “Hi! Welcome to the Fanfic Cafe! What can I get you today?”
*Customer:* “Hm... well, my favourite trope is a Coffee Shop AU with *Barista x Customer”*
*Barista:* 👁👄👁
Well aren't u smooth 😍😍😂😂❤️
@@ChaosRayZero ooh i didnt understand the joke for a sec thank you-
@@why5093 No problem! ^_^
Can't tell if it went over Lord Felidae's head either, or if s/he was just joining in and joking around.
The girl who cried while ordering Self-Insert fics? Yeah, that's me.
That's also me.
They are so hard to find so I had to make it
Why aren't otome dating sim games popular in the west again?
A lot of self-insert fics are in Wattpad but they are mostly garbage
sui generis its really rare to find good fanfics there but its fine qwq , im really glad i found good self insert ones
"Who would read this willingly!?"
Me: *slowly sets down angst filled lovers to enemies fanfic full of major character death and tons of gore* Uhhhhhhhh-
If this isn't me XD
If that isn't a whole mood.
Yeap, totally me 🤣. Always crying and ending emotionally exhausted, but Then I look for more 🙃😅
Same
Wth lovers to enemies exist??
I've realized from watching all of Chloe's videos that people mainly read fics for the ship content... Then there's me who just likes watching my favorite charecters put in the most sad and painful situations while everyone remains completely platonic- (but I mean tbh that's just the majority of my fandom)
I exclusively read no-romance fanfics so I feel ya there
Same, ALL THE ANGST!
OMORI?
And then there's me who likes a mixture of both.
Hurt no comfort my beloved :3
Kinda Ironic for a coffee shop au mention when your skit revolves on a cafe business scenario with Fanfics
i- 👁👄👁
now I want a coffee shop au but the coffee shop is a fanfic cafe, thank you for mentioning.
one day a customer comes in and falls in love with the nerdy fanfic writer behind the counter :flushed:
For all those wondering:
Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
Tag used as a warning for extremely disturbing content in a work, often fanwork.
‘This fanfiction is tagged with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat". I’m sensitive, so I won’t read it.’
So like....gore???
Lol Memes yeah, and so, so much worse, or so it says on urban Dictionary
Thank you because I didn’t know what it meant
Yep it’s based on a show(don’t remember what rn) where a person comes across a container labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”. Person is curious about what’s inside, and turns out to be exactly what the label said.
So basically it’s just a label that’s meant to be used when somethings really heavy/dark and is just a “You saw the label, so don’t expect anything else” tag
LittleShy Lotus123 The show is *Arrested Development* ua-cam.com/video/YUKmq7UMJys/v-deo.html
*distressed, slightly unstable looking person walks in, with bloodshot eyes, weak limbs, looking like they haven't slept for days*: give me all the crack >:(((
crack is my favorite 😫
Please, man, I need some crack!
*sigh* ... dumpster out back.
😂 thats offensive, there are some good quality crackfics on sale (although yeah the majority will be found in the dumpster)
@@adastraperaspera2279
I should know, as the dumpster is my main residence.
I’m a dumpster diver too but every so often we can go in to the cafe for some Premium quality crack but it Only happens 1 to 4 a year and most times it 1 to 2
Okay but if your "usual order" is friends to lovers slow burn with light angst and miscommunication then of course you're going to get that all the time--THAT IS A *MASTERPIECE*.
*Throat thoroughly destroyed:* _"WHY'S IT SPICY...?!"_
...bruh, I'm dead! 😂😂😂🤣💀
"It's so sour too!" 🤣
why does it sound overly histrionic and completely accurate🤦♀🤣
"This is nothing but pain, why would anyone want this?"
Me, reading 20 non-con trauma majorcharacterdeath torture fics: *sweats*
Just like the barista with the dead dove, I am not one to judge.
What is dead dove fics
@@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I It was explained to me that it came from a bit from a TV show I think? A character opened the fridge, saw a bag with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" written on it, but opened the bag regardless. Surprise surprise - inside there was a dead dove, and the character commented that they didn't know what they were expecting.
It basically means that if you see content that is crealy labeled, and you dislike the label, you should just not look at it. It was labeled (or tagged, or titled, etc) for a reason.
Essentially - don't open a bag labeled "Dead Dove" if you don't want to see a dead dove lmao
I like angst and major character death *Don't judge me*
@@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I snuff
"Do you have any...Y/N stuff?"
"Yes, of course! But I warn you, the higher the quality, the harder it is to find, so that will be reflected in the price."
I just noticed how accurate that is.
It is _so_ damn rare to find actual high quality reader insert fics, so I just settle for decent writing even if the plot is crap.
*cough* Lookin' at you, Wattpad-- *cough cough*
I've been on Wattpad for so long that I'm desensitized to bad writing
wattpad lmao
@@peepeepoop638 I felt that
In my soul
Hopefully
Same, good ones should be cherished. I only find like- 5 or 6 in Ao3 and Quotev(per fandom yeeyee) wattpad has alot more but like- the high quality ones are hard to find. Either deep down in the search list or high up in the search list. Usually the latter. After the 8th one it's usually oneshots or not so good.
Um so if you'd like I could maybe write you something...depending on the fandom. also i’m not the best but I get decent views and followers so I guess i’m good. I'm @Virgil_Storm PM me if your interested.
I'm so sad this isn't real. I love the idea of being able to find qualified people to hand create a personal story for me, to my specifications. I don't have to waste time reading stories with stuff I hate, a small author gets monetary support for their hard work. This whole concept would be awesome!
"Do you have any... *_ballet or theatre AU_*_ in stock?"_
"Only oneshots. and It's the standard 'get partnered for a scene and fall for each other' story"
"Yeah, I figured. Sort of an exotic flavor for this particular fandom brand."
"Oh, Here's one. This one has a love triangle!"
"Oh, okay. A little more substance maybe? the tags look vague enough that it might be my notp though.. I guess I can risk it?"
"The triangle includes a _Director/Writer..."_
"OH! Okay. A little more diverse flavor profile"
"And the _Director/Writer_ is the *other half of the OTP,*"
*"NOT THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! THIS is the goooood shit."*
If this were a place I would go to it every day
"Hi! what can I get you?"
"Oh, I'll take a sickfic..."
"Mm-hm..."
"With a bit of Angst...,"
* jots it down*
"a lot of Fluff.."
"Yep."
"Hurt/Comfort...a situation where the sickie leaves his bed when he should be resting..."
"Got that."
"Cuddling, You know, all of that sweet, fluffy stuff. Not too fluffy though. Wouldn't wanna get diabetes. Eh, screw it, Could you maybe add a stomach ache to that?"
"Oddly specific, but OK..."
"And...With this platonic ship, please."
"Got it! Is that all?"
"Yep. Thanks!"
*Later*
""It tastes like vanilla, sugar, and candy. Probably because of all the Fluff I added. Best choice ever."
I love to read those to!
I'll low key write this this rn
Dammit don't do this to me I neED THIS
This is me.
'Cept I'm the writer and I've got more angst than fluff.
I WANT THAT NOW
As I always say, “Can’t start the day off without your mornin fics.” Beggars can’t be choosers.
You guys have mornings. I usually stay up all night
Ada Escamilla Same. I take what’s called turbo-naps in between fanfics.
Nobody:
Me: *reading every single fanfic under a ship tag*
I F E E L T H A T
Self-hating-crying-myself-to-sleep frappe:
- 2 tablespoons of scolding hot slowburn
- 4 drops of your favourite miscommunications
- 1.5 tablespoon of excessive crying
- 2 pinches of jealousy
- 1 tablespoon of mourning
- 0.5 drop of unrequited love
- 2 pinches of happiness or fluff. (this makes it that your drink is both easier and harder for a customer)
- 2 tablespoons of your favourite cliche, if your customer doesn't specify (enemies to lovers, childhood friends, you know)
- 3 pinches of pure angst (no more! we don't want end with "and everyone died. the end!" smoothie)
And, last but not least
- 1 drop of major character death (some put less, but trust me on this)
stir well, we don't want any plotholes, decorate with normalisation cream, sprinkle with some attachment beforehand and glass crumbs (don't go overboard)
serve cool with a spoon and napkins.
and eat!
Of course, it's a whole drink, but you can use it as a base. Go wild!
honestly, the fanfic cafe is such a small niche, I really like that it's getting attention it deserves.
I would drink that sh*t like a drug
Then i would immediantly regret it but continue to drink it
And that’s my usual for the rest of my life
I would also love some rare pair crumbs on the side
@@_developing-arc_9250 thank you for choosing our frappe! fortunately, you can order other toppings also
Honestly tried this. And i thought it to be too intense for my taste. But i found making 2 tsp of mourning with only 1 tablespoon of excessive crying makes it less potent and blends it all out altogether. Also to make it less emotional crippling, substitute major death with mock death. But that's just me.
My favourite part was the kid acting like an adult to get that sweet sweet SMUT! And then giggling like a frickin gremlin after. "It burns!" Haha 🤣
Smuts just actually vinegar
@@Bernie_is_eepy I wouldn't say it's Vinegar. I'd say it's like a pound of sinnamon.
Lilith Hyde ah yes, of course
Child fucked up and accidentally took the Everclear of smut.
Lol and then there was my ass at this age rolling up completely shamless like:
"Hi can I get some Yugioh smut but it has to be incredibly fluffy and mostly about the plot. Wlw; genderswaped is fine. Also could I possibly get this in ancient Egypt?"
"...have you read this before..? You seem rather,,, sure of your taste"
"Nope, never, but my mom's giving me multiple fucking 'Talks' _and I need the exposure therapy"_
(I did find the perfect fic btw. no cap saved my fucking ass I _swear_ )
“UM EXCUSE ME, I WOULD LIKE A REFUND.”
“Oh uhhhh.._you again_”
“YES ME AGAIN, I WANT A REFUND.”
“Haha..”
“*MY FIC WAS UPDATED LIKE 9 YEARS AGO. THIS IS UNFINISHED. I *DEMAND* A REFUND.”
“Ok, I’m sorry but we don’t give refunds, how about we get you something else..?”
“NOTHING CAN GET BACK THE MINUTES I SPENT READING AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE PLOT-“
“Would a tattoo artist x floral artist AU be good?”
“..._*you son of a bitch I’m in*_”
Black•Rose •Jinx THAT'S LITTERELY ME
That moment when all your favorite fandoms are 10+ years old so this keeps happening^
so true it hurts
Oh god, it's so true it burns.
Yes. This. I’m trying to get into newer fandoms for this reason exactly. *looking at you, old 90s tv shows I fell in love with because of that one fanfic in the fandom that was finished.*
oooooo those candles are a cool idea, imagine reading a fanfic and depending on what type it is you light a certain candle! sounds like a calming experience
5:20 the fact that the tea got darker with the more yearning she put in it...
"Hey waiter can I get another oneee shot over here?"
"Woah baby"
"Hey waiter I am gonna need at least five more of these babies"
Ok that is basically me
One shot is what I do
ITS BETTER THAN DRUGS JEREMY
@Mrs Monophobia ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
How this could be real:
Fanfiction Cafe's are like editorial offices or whatever. The cafe has to also get permissions with studios to send price portions. And fic writers get a portion.
I don't know much about business... But I'm open for suggestions. You know, turn fanfiction into a bigger job opportunity.
WE COULD MAKE MILLIONS WITH A FANFIC CAFE BUSINESS!!!! hold up imma get on this. brb.
Ok but imagine an actual cafe but based on the drink you order and your preferences (regular customers can set up their preferences on a website or whatever) they recommend you a fic. I would sell both my kidneys to fund this.
@@excaria5949 I want to try making drinks and desserts to go with fanfic tropes.
Ok, but this could get you in trouble if rights-holders know about this.
It also could be a fangirl/boy friendly space, meaning some shelves with manga and books, free wifi and you can rent a tablet while you are there to read better, some posters and a "ship of the month" award in the wall
and the most important thing: there is screaming permission and everyone understands
It could even have like a space where locals can go to left their own printed fanfics c:
Coley's laughter at 7:37 literally made my day
Could I take a well written fanfic, with good plot, hold back a little bit with romance and add more friendship, and family development.
Waiter: yes, but it will take like hours to make and find.
Fine I’ll just take angst.
That’s meeeeeeeew
I'm actually writing that rn and you just called me out I-
Do you read Marvel fics? Not to be a braggart but I might have the kind of stuff you want. I'm on AO3
I have been working on a story like that except with a little harem on top
😳 my fandom is super active, there's like 1K new fics every week and I see one of those passing by my feed (or in fav tags) every now and then. i'm actually writing one atm :D
"Why's it _spicy_ ... and it's so sour too"
*laughs in veteran fanfic reader*
Heh..... the good old days.... of lemons and limes.....
And apples.
@@yellowsnake7300 WHAT IS AN APPLE???
@Ming Yue Siow The old Harry Potter fans know... back on Fanfiction.net.... god, I haven’t used that site in FOREVER, is live journal still a thing?
@@yellowsnake7300 is it a my immortal thing? or- draco x apple thing? Im so confused
@@lanie5759 YOU MEAN DRAPPLE?!? *LAUGHS* YESSSS the first fanfic i made was drarry--
Me: *Downing one-shots like nothing*
Friend: *Discomfort*
The ancient magus bride has some really good oneshots and drabbles. Not to mention the anime is similar to beauty and the beast but with it's own spin. It's not an adaption of beauty and the beast but has a similar vibe to that tale.
I can read 100 000 words in a day and I can't bring myself to pick up the Hobbit after getting bored at chapter 1.
I would love for this cafe to actually exist, how amazing that would be
0:45
"It has major character death!!"
Literally every danganronpa fans ever
At this point whatever they consumed is just despair in a jar.
@@xoxlillikittyxox1846 lol yeah
True
@Kylee Ollivierre despairrrrrrrrr
@Kylee Ollivierre **Junko Enoshima's cackling**
"i could SUE YOU for EMOTIONAL DAMAGES!"
everyone reading chapter one of my awae fic
YOU HAVE AN ANNE WITH AN E FICCCC? I NEED IT. COPY AND PASTE THE LI- oh wait. I just now realized as I was typing, emotional damage. Does it have a happy ending
@@m1nt8168 yes it does! it's called Just One Hug and it's on wattpad :)
If this thing actually existed...
"Can I get a collage au with a hint of angst, just a hint and a... Red string of fate."
SHE LEFT THAT OUT AND I FORGOT!!! TwT
I had a real surprise red string connected to someone today. Though, it was because a ribbon on my costume was coming undone and my cat noticed.
Destined to be a crazy cat lady-
Strings of Fate?
Me with
"Can I get a highschool au where the school's students have certain powers, 3 gay ships and one straight, 75k - 100k word count, 4 pumps of angst on every ship, and add more than 3 cups of abuse, self harm, mentions of suicide, oh, did I forget that the main characters were childhood friends drifted apart?.... Also, I would also like an x depressed reader, angst of course, with a 25k - 50k word count"
6:21 LMAO coley’s mug is exactly what she’s feeling 😂👍
She’s almost out of slow burn spice. I can’t even tell if that was intentional or she really was out of spice
Probably almost used up in the slow burn pot.
"This is nothing but pain, why would anybody want this?"
Harry Potter fandom:
“This is nothing but pain, why would anyone want this?”
Me, an angst enthusiast who ships bakudeku: *give*
Y'all are my people-
I have found my place✨
as a Potterhead AND a Drarry fan... I gotta say that the Angst in our fandom is..... *A lot.* And a lot of the time it's very well written so 84% of the time you will find me sobbing at least 2 times while reading fics. :,)
*merlin fandom:*
@@somanytvshowshavecausedmee899 true
always label your ingredients, you'll never know what someone is allergic too
In my case it's misunderstandings. Cannot handle the darned things, especially if they're too early in the story so there hasn't been anything else to dilute them yet. Make me want to scream because fuck the characters are being idiots and I can see exactly how that's going to go and spiral into the entire plot of the fic and I just end up not reading any more of it.
Everyone: I hate when they make my favs die in fanfics
Me: I read hospital au’s
Me: Yeah, could I please get some Found Family?
Server: Oh, sure, no Smut, I assume?
Me: Yep. No smut. But, uhh... a little romance is fine, as long as it doesn’t overshadow the Family part.
S: Of course. Any specific relationship you’d like to focus on?
Me: Yeah! (Insert hella cute platonic ship here)
S: Ooh! We’ve been getting a lot of requests for that one lately. Could I recommend a bit of hard Angst and Hurt/Comfort to really *spicen up* the flavor?
Me: Yes please! But I would also like it if you made the Comfort and Fluff like, tooth-rottingly sweet, please?
S: Yes of course! Please sit down for a moment while I prepare your drink!
(A few minutes later)
Me, walking out of the store with a Good ole’ Venti cup in my hands: *Holy fuck I didn’t realize this was a Slow-Burn but I’m too emotionally invested to give up now.*
Edit: These replies are giving me lots of happy chemicals.
Do we have the same tastes in fic? It really seems like we do.
GOD I LOVE hurt/comfort-found-family-with-a-dash-of-tooth-rottening-fluff fics they’re just hdhhf
Oh wow, I found my mate in here!
(Me, an author who make family fic because I cannot find it in my fandom)
Omg this is basically my tastes, I've found my people!
Yup, yeah. That's uh, that's me.
“I COULD SUE FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES!”
*me with every fix that includes a scene where the half of the ship dies in the other ships arms*
THOSE ARE JUST SO SAD. YOU JUST- I BLACK OUT CRY OK- BUT ITS SO FRIGGING ADDICTING
AYY JUPITER I FOUND YOU AGAIN
If it was real, my go-to would be a one-shot fluff with cuddling and kisses and a teaspoon of hurt and comfort
Gi'me the ships I'll give you the fic
Me too with extra fluff.
@@mony8112 really? Do tell
Ive never read fanfiction before but these are some of my favourite things to watch
“Hello I would like to order a heavy angst, hurt no comfort with depression maybe sucide and major character death. Long as possible and a slow burn.”
“... are you okay?”
excuse me but are you my clone?
Lmao same
Read smile for me it's really well-written Mammon angst so much major character death not mention it's kinda long definitely hurt though a lil bit of comfort but it doesn't last long yes I'm not the author of this fic I love this fic so dang much. Also the major character death happens in many different ways. Though I think there is some self sacrifice suicide in it too. Trust me it's the best angst fic I've read that in that fandom.
Dude wtf
lmao
Can someone let me know that I'm not the only black, straight, 13 year old male that reads fanfic. Especially a shitload of angsty one-shots.
Jeremiah Dalton not trying to be rude or anything, but what does your sexuality, race and gender have anything to do with reading fics? Like I can understand why you would asks something like “Hey, am I the only 13 year old who reads a shitload of fanfics?” but I don’t understand the others. I’m again, not trying to be rude, I’m genuinely curious because I don’t understand.
@@ece9108 I think the gender is actually kinda How do you say it? Crucial? (Idk I'm not English) Because there is this stigma that only girls read fanfics¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯
Миша oh yeah, now that I think about that, you might be right. There IS a stigma on that. Tho there isn’t any on sexuality and race. At least, not that I’m aware of.
@@ece9108 Gender, I can't tell someone I read fanfic without being called gay and trans
Jeremiah Dalton oh, I didn’t know about that. That’s so stupid tho, just because you are a male and read fanfics doesn’t mean you are gay or trans. That doesn’t even make sense. Fanfics don’t have a gender or sexuality, or even race.
Thanks for explaining it to me btw.
"Can I get an Royalty AU with slow burn and miscommunications with angst and some major character death, please? Preferably well written and not too dialogue heavy, I'll leave the ending and rating up to you. I need something that will remind me that I actually have feelings."
"Why of course! However, We unfortunately ran out of slow burn products, as one of our staff 'accidentally' used it all up into one fic! I'm LOOKING AT YOU TBHYOURLAME!!"
"*Inhales and exhales* anyways, can I interest you on one of our highly requested passerine fic? It's pretty much what you previously ordered, but without the slow burn part."
Damn I love your taste
BRO WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME-
I make characters and stories, I already have 2 stories that I’ve committed to I can’t be getting more ideas 😭😭
@@zeenoash.8805 Dude the fact that I know exactly what you're talking about is WOW I spend too much time in this fandom
@@dodgedancesonyourgrave1702 Same.
"excuse me do you carry any crossover fics"
"absolutely what type"
"my hero persona"
"oh we have plenty of those"
6:07
Just about every 13 yo on Wattpad: **Intense sweating**
Me a 12 year old: **also intense sweating**
Yup. That was me. Didn't regret it.
I feel called out
You never forget your first smut
@@Ashy826 ah yes, indeed ( ◡‿◡✿)
I’m The Fan Fic Reader Who Normally Goes in Knowing What I Vaguely Want Then I Search For a Few Minutes,&,Wind up Finding Some Awesome Tags,&,Loving What I Read
The capital letters physically hurt me
@@inactive9550 same-
@Animationish same
This reads like an early Panic!At the Disco song title. (which is a compliment)
@@HelloCreepy YES-
Me: enters the cafe and decide that they feeling nostalgic and want to revisit an old favorite that is sure to have new meaning with the context of recent self revelations.
The fic: has been not only discontinued, but has been erased without a trace.
For real though, if anyone has an archived copy of the hannah Montana fanfic about oliver getting turned into a girl via magic, mostly just goes with the flow with it and then chooses to stay a girl when the ability to reverse the magic is found. Yeah, if anyone has a copy of it, please lemme haz. Iirc, it was called like "One of the Girls"
Eastwind4869 I’ll be sure to look for it tonite !!
I can remember so many fics that have been discontinued/lost/erased, and every time I'm reminded of them, I die a little on the inside.
Thats why I screenshot any fic I like, and then copy it into my phone’s note app.
the customer laughing like a maniac while running away with the dead dove is literally me
Coley: I can't in good conscience sell this to you
Kid: I DO NOT FEAR THE DARK SIDE AS YOU DO
Lol I love your pfp
@@sageleaf3648 LOL
True!
Me: *literally trys everything in the shop, even fandoms I'm not in*
Also me: cool
I have ever been so desensitized to bad writing and gore and smut and angst and other things that's it's rare for me to find something good.
And when I find something good... I praise the hell out of it.
same here, dude!
Any recommendations?
That's why I'm glad I ended up in big fandoms. The chances of finding a good fic is higher, it also means there's more bad fics too, but that's what reddit is for.
Moooooooood!!!!!!
I genuinely avoid baby fandoms because thats where good stuff isnt happening yet.
And when it *is* good, it’s unfinished and published in 2015.
*[Insert a child losing it’s innocence in the distance]*
_sips tea in oh ok then_
Ah, mother, I didn’t know you had an alt account. How was your pleasure of watching me lose my innocence?