"No Single Men in My Church" Christian Dating Advice for the Ladies
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- What to do when their are mostly single ladies in your church, but no single men...
Check out our shop: homewithkelli.co/
Find us on S O C I A L M E D I A
Kelli's Instagram⇢ / homewithkelli
Apple Podcasts⇢ podcasts.apple....
and on Google Podcasts.
A F F I L I A T E S ⇣
Azure Standard ▸ www.azurestand...
Perfect Supplements (this is where I get my grass fed collagen, gelatin, beef liver powder)
▸ www.perfectsupp...
▸ Get 10% off use code: HOMEWITHKELLI10
VITAMIX ( I have the A2500 series blender and love it!)
▸ www.vitamix.co...
Mitigate Stress (Christian company where I get my Shilajit tablets and resin)
▸ mitigatestress...
▸ get 10% off use code: HOMEWITHKELLI
iHERB (this is where I get my Crown Prince Oysters that we eat 3-4 times a week)
▸ Get 10% off when you use my link: iherb.co/WVDjfX3
LIFEBLUD (I order Energi+, Mag+, and MB)
▸ lifeblud.co/?r...
▸ Get 10% off use code HOMEWITHKELLI
TOUPS & CO Skincare and Makeup
(Christian family business, I love their deodorant, primer, powder foundation & lip gloss)
▸ fas.st/t/KAi6sRu6
▸ One time coupon of 10% off with code: HOMEWITHKELLI
NUTRIMILL: Where my grain mill is from
▸shareasale.com...
That was my exact predicament when I was single. No guys from church ever asked me out, even the one that heavily flirted with me and texted. I ended up going online and found my husband within four months. After 4 years of waiting, the internet was much faster. I was still frustrated for my friends because the church really does _nothing_ to help single people find spouses.
This is exactly how I met my husband. He was very reserved. I just showed in each conversation warmth and interest and that gave him to confidence to pursue me. I never felt like I was pursuing him by letting him subtly know I was interested.
That has never happened to me.
@@jackwalker1822 Most christian women believe sitting on their butts for 20+ years is somehow logical. For those who are more attractive, they will be approached by men regardless, but the ones who were not approached early on end up wondering what they are doing wrong. In reality, there are a lot of christian women who simply are not approachable, and it isn't helping the current era of there being few single men attending church.
Thank you so much for this video! I'm a new subscriber, and I'm really learning a lot from the videos. This is really good stuff! There's a single guy at my church, I would like to know, but I was struggling with how to be inviting. Now I have some ideas! Thank you!!
retitle the video to "no single men that fit a long list of possibly contradictory ideals in my church" 😅because that's typically the case
Hi, I was wondering if you could do a video about boundaries. How can both the husband and the wife make sure their boundaries are enforced/respected while staying Biblical? God bless you!
Generally good advice, however when you have 20 single women and only 2 guys (and most of the girls are probably interested in them), that doesn't help your chances. And this is true across many churches in my religion as I have traveled or networked to many. Lots of women and hardly any men. The math just says there are going to be a lot of leftover single women. Also, image the competition in that type of environment. You've got to be the prettiest, smartest, most confident, skinny, and of course, if the guy has the proper expectations, surrendered to Christ. And then think about what this could do to the men... a sea of pretty, talented, dedicated single women all competing for your affection. Some "Christian" single guys let this go to their head and they play the field. Get attention from one girl, with no intention, get bored, and move on to the next. And since there's so many women in churches across the US, there's almost no consequences for him as he could always find more unsuspecting women. Or, in a much less nefarious reason, if there are tons of single women, the guy doesn't feel like he's in any rush. Time is on his side more than the woman, especially when you consider child rearing. Men have additional years biologically to produce children. Women are a whole different story.
It just seems like there are always more women than men in the church. I don't understand it. I wish people knew why and knew how to fix it so that more men come back into the church.
A good start might be meeting the needs of men in the church rather than discarding or dismissing their concerns. So many men are leaving the church because figureheads like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate have shown that, disingenuously or not, they care for and are fighting for mens needs. In turn, men see these secular figureheads as trustworthy since secular western society treats us as disposable at best and an existential threat to women at worst.
There are single men at my church but all immature or not a good match, the 5 ive met, the more i get to know them the less i like them.. most are not financially stable enough to support a marriage and children and claim to want to have children... its not so much about his job and career but the lack of ambition seen that he would need to support a family and be the sole provider.
Do you live in the U.S? If so the average male makes about 38k. So good luck
Almost as if men in the west are loved by condition only. Funny how the first question I often hear in conversation regarding a woman dating a man is "what do you/ does he do?" Do you get the point?
financial is such a stupid thing. You can put the family off later. Are they motivated and pursuing a goal? struggle with them. that's what humanity did in the past. you're not so special as to avoid that. how do you think they do it in third world countries?
Or maybe it's god's lot in your life for a life of poverty.
for the ones you think are not a "good match"...go out on a date. You won't know until you actually put in effort. stop expecting full compatibility within a few meetings.
🤗. Good advice.
As far as I know, there are no single women between college age and late-middle age divorcee/ widow in my church (Episcopal parish in suburban Austin). We single Christian men have problems, too!
At 0:26. The woman in this message just wants to stay in her comfort zone. The probability of some new man moving into the area and attending her church is very low. Plus her standards may be very high for a husband. She needs to get out of the comfort zone and date outside of her church. That would include live and online dating. She would also need to marry a "Mr. Good Enough" rather than "Mr. Perfect" as a husband.
I think you may be reading to much into this girl. That might not be her issue at all as those 20 to 2 numbers could be true across all the churches in her religion. I know it's true in mine. More women than men in every single church I have ever attended or visited. I wouldn't be surprised if she has found the same issues in her situation.
Do you have advice for single guys that can't find Godly wives? At 35 and 33 my sons find the pool really small. Dating apps are scary but trythey are trying them out of desperation. Church has women that are too young. Work is just older clients. Fearing God just doesn't have marriage in His plan for both of my sons. And they do desire it.
Your sons are better off with the young women of that church at their ages.
In my religion we have the opposite problem. Many single women but no men. And I mean the church as a whole. Not just my local assembly.
@@AudraT Western Christianity/Church as a whole has that problem.
Really
Please what can you say about Alpha female and beta male relationship ?
It's not a relationship 😂 men cannot and should not be subordinated to the woman in a Christian relationship. The man represents Christ, and the woman the Church. Christ cannot be subordinated to the Church
They are already married. How can they make it work?
That's rough, and should be avoided. Since they are already married, they need to make it work. They both need to study God's word, believe Him, and put it into practice. Our Father in Heaven is merciful and gives great grace to those who humbly seek to follow Christ.
@@diyallthings The guy needs to surround himself with, and get mentored/taught by other men at the church. That's definitely not an ideal relationship... but it's certainly not doomed.
@@diyallthings - Assuming they are Christian, give her the following books to read.
"The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace
"The Transformed Wife" by by Lori Alexander
"Created to be His Help Meet" by by Debi Pearl
Why should we ask men to help us in our Life with "our" purpose when our Purpose comes from God?
Why not talk to the Father in Heaven whom is only our Spiritual Father of the things we want instead of men?
I don't even know what your point is here. If a woman wants to get married, then sitting on her butt with a blank stare on her face for 15+ years isn't going to do jack crap, even if she prays earnestly about the subject every single day.
Action has to be taken and it is expected we take certain actions to move forward in life.
Start by not buying in to the lies of feminism. If you are a women, your purpose from God has already been given to you. You do not need to ask. The Bible says the women were created "for men" (1 Corinthians11:9). Women were created to be a companion and a helper to a man. (Genesis 2:18). Women are to "get married, bear children and manage a household". (1 Timothy 5:14) That's it. If you desired anything else, then you have no desired to please God, only to please yourself.
I know this is possibly the most offensive thing to say in our feminist and egalitarian culture, but the Moral Law of the Bible clearly permits multiple women to share a husband.
Perhaps there is a wise and godly man in the church who could possibly lead, protect, provide for, and cherish two wives.
I'll agree that it probably isn't ideal and that Christian men probably shouldn't crave it. Had Adam never fallen, it might have never been necessary, but in this post Genesis 3 world, the God Bible clearly treats polygyny as legitimate marriage and never ever treats it as adultery or sexual immorality.
Do an in depth Hebrew word study on the word "adultery" and you will find out that it isn't quite what we have been taught.
Take a look at what 1st Kings 15:5 says about king David.
"David did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and did not turn aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite." (ESV)
This is the same David who was married to Michal, Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacha, Haggith, Abital, and Eglah (plus some more). None of that was adultery. Those were all legitimate marriages.
When David took another man's wife (Bathsheeba wife of Uriah) he committed adultery and was severely rebuked by God. (2nd Samuel 12).
On the other hand God Himself had happily given David multiple wives prior to the adultery and would have been willing to give him even more (2nd Samuel 12:8).
Abigail was a wise and godly, woman and she happily married David when he was already married to Michal and probably Ahinoam.
It beats being an old single cat lady, or marrying a man who doesn't belong to Jesus Christ.
Praise be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit for our salvation in our Lord and Glorious Savior Jesus Christ!
I hear you with the OT marriages. But I think that people don't do that now since the NT is super clear that even the pastor of the church should only have one wife.
@@LaurenSheehan I know a lot of people think that, but it doesn't hold up under careful Biblical scrutiny. For example in 1st Corinthians 7:2 we are told that each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the apostle Paul uses two totally different Greek words when he writes "his own wife" and "her own husband". The "own" word referring to the wife indicates exclusive ownership. She is only his wife. She cannot be wife to more than one man. The word "own" that refers to her own husband is a potentially shared ownership. He is her husband and truly belongs to her as husband, but can also potentially belong to another woman as well.
We have the same concept in English but don't have separate words for shared ownership and exclusive ownership. I say "my own father" and also "my own hand". My hand is only mine, while my father is also father to my brother and sister.
Paul carefully distinguishes the difference. Husbands lead, protect, provide, and cherish. It is possible to do this for more than one wife. Wives submit, follow, honor, assist, and help. They can only do this for one husband. It all goes back to the creation order and the difference between men and women, husbands and wives.
We know God's design for a man and a woman as early as the book of Gensis, and it is clearly stated in the new testament to further reinforce that design.
The intention was ALWAYS for a man to marry a single woman and become one. There is not a single passage anywhere in the Bible that even hints to the contrary.
To your statement of "It beats being an old single cat lady, or marrying a man who doesn't belong to Jesus Christ.", I say this. We can always serve God and fulfill our purpose in life even if single. In fact, even when suffering we are expected to honor and glorify God, while also spreading the gospel. Any of us can serve while single for our entire lives.
@@someone-ji2zb
Yes, God's good design for man and woman is very clear in Genesis and all the rest of Holy Scripture including the New Testament.
Man and woman are to have a covenantal relationship like that of God and His people, Christ and the Church. The covenantal head cherishes, leads, protects, and provides for the covenantal follower (wife, or God's people respectively) who submits to, helps, follows, and has to be completely monogamous (monotheistic in the context of God's people).
If the covenantal follower is unfaithful and goes after another head, this is called adultery in the context of marriage, and idolatry in relation to God.
The covenantal head may lead one, or more than one covenantal follower. In marriage, it is normally one wife, but the nature of covenant permits multiple wives to share one husband (like the many Christians share one Lord Jesus Christ).
1st Corinthians 11:3 tells us that the husband is the head of the wife and that Christ is the Head of every man.
All of Scripture confirms this basic fact, even the book of Genesis.
In Genesis 35:11 God blessed Jacob (now Israel) and tells him to "be fruitful and multiply".
That is exactly the same thing God told Adam and Eve, but here is my point. In Genesis 35, Jacob already has multiple wives (Leah and Rachel, Bilhah and Zilpah). God told a polygamous man to be fruitful and multiply with these multiple wives! In God's sight, these were legitimate unions, as was the union of Adam and Eve.
Here is another example from Genesis. In chapter 20 king Abimelech took Sarah (wife of Abraham) for himself, not understanding that Sarah was a married woman (Abraham had behaved dishonestly).
Verse 17 tells us that Abimelech already had a wife and concubines when this incident happened.
In verse 3 of chapter 20, God threatened to kill Abimelech for taking another man's wife (that is adultery as defined by the Bible), though he had not yet had sexual relations with her.
God did not threaten to kill him for having multiple wives, but only for taking another man's wife.
In verse 5 Abimelech tells God that he had acted innocently not knowing that Sarah was a married woman.
Obviously Abimelech knew that he himself was already married, but he still says he acted innocently when he took another woman.
In verse 6 of chapter 20, God agreed with Abimelech! God said that He knew that Abimelech acted in integrity of heart and had no intention of committing adultery (though as a married man, he took another woman).
There is simply no escaping the fact that the God of the Bible views polygyny (one husband, with multiple wives) as legitimate marriage and not adultery or sexual immorality.
God even describes Himself as a "polygamous husband" in Ezekiel and Jeremiah, as the Husband of both both Oholah/Samaria and Ohilibah/Jerusalem in Ezekiel chapter 23 and Israel and Judah respectively in Jeremiah 31:31-33.
God describes Himself as being married to two women, two sisters. Obviously this indicates that such a thing is possible, and is not adultery.
I know this is a hard truth to deal with l, but it is nonetheless true.
@@baj3085 I am a bit confused here on your thought process. In the new testament, 1 Tim. 3:2 and 3:12, we are specifically told that an elder of the church is suppose to marry only one wife and remain faithful to her, which at that point is clear principle that is applied to how we should all aspire to live and to be Christlike.
So if we are expected to be strive to be Christlike, and we know Christ would have us be faithful to a single wife, then how do you explain those passages away? You cannot
The image of Christ and the church is also muddied when multiple parents enter the picture, which again goes against being Christlike as believers.
The way you approach this makes me believe you are not applying biblical principle to much of anything at all. An example to pull from is this. Masturbation is not directly condemned in the Bible, but we know merely thinking lustfully about a woman who is not your wife is considered adultery, and one cannot realistically do the deed without thinking lustfully and becoming excited.
You seem to be ignoring much of Christ's direct teachings. Even if your logic here had merit, it was completely dismantled the moment Jesus starting teaching.
Also keep in mind that marriage is a blood covenant and meant to represent Jesus's blood covenant on the cross as well. To make another covenant with another woman would be breaking the previous one if she is still alive.
Either way, you are confusing historical accounts in the Bible for things God approves of, and nothing you showed me even comes close to hinting He approves of polygamy.
Hi, I was wondering if you could do a video about boundaries. How can both the husband and the wife make sure their boundaries are enforced/respected while staying Biblical? God bless you!
Start by never being alone with that person. Always spend time together in groups.