Have We Changed Our Mind on Submission?
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- Опубліковано 3 сер 2023
- Reading Terry Crews autobiography has given us some things to think about...
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It's strange that we are taught to seek counsel from our elders and yet I have not seen such godless marriages or partnerships as what I have seen from my parent's generation (I'm writing from England where we really have lost our Christian ways). Divorce is rife in their generation and I have come from a dysfunctional childhood myself. I feel encouraged that there are people our age that are moving on from these times and propagating healthy happy marriages, gender roles and following the lives god intended for us.
My great grandfather started a church. His children are all three in lifelong marriages. But my grandfather’s children are ALL divorced/immoral except for my father. Now their children (my cousins) are all over the map on immorality…
It’s a sad thing to see!
100% Equal in value, not equal in function. God bless you. 🙏🌸
Please pray for my husband and I. We both come from dysfunctional families. We are struggling at the moment. Thank you.
God bless you and your husband. We pray that God will encourage you and direct your steps and change the course of your family.
Boundaries.
Shut your front door. Go and give your husband a big hug, that will reconnect the two of you and enjoy the peace and quiet of your home together.
Let everyone else outside your home get on with their lives.
However painful it may be to observe, you have no control over it.
Focus 100% on what you do have control over.
Focus on what exists within your home - you, your husband, your marriage and your life at home.
Within your home you can create heaven on earth .
Enjoy.
@softsophisticate, you have no idea what a confirmation that is for me!!! Thank you, Lord!!! Wow, God is good!
@@jtstaas736 Glad to be of help.
🙏🙏🙏
so did my husband & I. He came from a home where his father was a physically violent drunk & his mother was a doormat to the husband & abusive to her children. I came from a home where I have a emotionally abusive & manipulative mother that has an eating disorder and a father who won't stand up for himself. This meant two households of children caught in the middle of their parents' violent machinations. church going, but not believers. All sibling relationships (we each have 3 siblings) are a mess/non existent.
We ended up cutting his family out of our lives entirely & they only live 5 houses away. My family we keep at arms length. We do not let 'their problems' become our problems. I am not saying you have to cut them out of your life, but you will have to learn to turn off their voices & not let it have power over you. We do not let ourselves get dragged into thinking we can fix them or solve their problems.
Best comment I make to those types when they start interfering, "I will take that into consideration". It removes their power to get between you & your spouse & you are free to disregard their opinion. We have been married for 20 years this fall & any involvement with his family would devolve into us not getting along. Finally we realized that we had to be a team, that we were 'fighting them' not fighting with each other. and as a Team, we decided that the best course of action was to not be involved with them anymore - because they were damaging our family.
Watching some similar stuff with younger friends...I would 100% advise anyone that grew up this way, to seek some counseling BEFORE getting married (whether that be with a therapist, pastor, elder married friend from a NON dysfunctional family, etc...not a family member). I see too many jump into marriage thinking they are going to do something different, but they end up repeating the only poor patterns that they know. And then 10 years down the road they are still struggling & now there are kids involved.
My fiance has recently sent me a couple of your videos, and I really like the two of you. You both have a balanced and nuanced take explaining healthy behavior between a man and a woman within a marriage. Followed
Great video again guys. I always appreciate listening to this as it’s a refreshing topic and always comes from two people seeking to promote healthy thoughts and teachings. Keep up the good work.
Yall really hit the nail on the head with this one! I'm glad yall could navigate this insight and use it to pull away from the offense of hurtful comments on your videos. Yall explained this so well and straight forward. I 1000% agree with your stance and absolutely love your videos. Keep spreading the good news, the truth. God bless you both.
Thank you and God bless you!
Thanks to you both for taking the time to share these finer nuances
Love your content. I’m binge watching from Tokyo 👀
God bless you.
Thanks for the encouragement 😊
I love your videos. Thank you for sharing. ♥️🙏😊
I grew up in an abusive disfunctional home, my abusive dad raised his daughters like men and among other men. I have given my heart to Christ and realise that I need to submit to my husband and cultivate more feminine traits, but it is really challenging if you were raised otherwise. So important that us as parents raise our kids with the right values. I know we are without excuse, just saying it is hard to act in contradition of how one was raised
Thank you for your testimony, and God bless you guys for changing the course for your family.
I believe complementarianism is probably a term that best fits your beliefs instead of patriarchism. Maybe not but look into the terms and see what you think. Both genders are equal in value but different in roles and functions.
Lovely website - great updates
My husband and I make decisions together, sometimes with vigorous debates. At the end of the day, my husband has the final say. He always takes my opinions and feelings under consideration. After decades of marriage, our toughest issues are choosing paint colors for the walls. 😁
... You know we make decisions together and at the end he has the final say is an oxymoron right?? What's the point of debating 10 hours, considering your thoughts and opinion when you know the end result is that what he wants and says is what matters??
please read my comment again. My husband does respect and consider my opinions. When we occasionally are at a stalemate, he has the final decision. Because I respect his authority as head of our family. The key is to marry a man you love and respect.
Why does your husband have to have the final say? I wouldn't feel comfortable to let him wear the burden and I'll never do it. My parents had the final say, yes, but as adults we should argue together and then find a solution together. I am saying this as a non-feminist.
Well done May the Lord bless you guys
9:09 Have you considered the picture of Jesus “veiled in flesh” under the authority of God in heaven and a wife “veiled” under the authority of her husband?
We asked our friends to explain why the wife wears a head covering (about full-time), and they pointed to 1 Corinthians 11 and the practice as a symbol of her submission.
We found the Head Covering movement for more info, and they talk through the text as it is written, unlike my parents who called it “cultural” when Paul writes it is “natural.”
My point is that it’s a difficult thing, and one we’ve started experimenting with, and had positive results in our relationship so far. There’s VALUE in processing the difficult things, because the reward to your Christian marriage are exponential over the years.
I have seen a few non-believers that have good marriages and are good to one another and their children, but in the church you find MANY good marriages because the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and Christian Fellowship give an advantage to Christian couples because there’s encouragement, clear direction, and successful examples around you.
God bless you always, and keep nurturing the conversation and growth!
Thanks so much for your testimony! These are good discussions as to obedience to Gods Word. God bless you guys!
Such wise words! Would you consider sharing your thoughts on the best questions to ask on a first date?
Sure, we will follow up on this. Thanks Grace!
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 KJV. Amen to that
You guys are great! Too bad I found you in my mid-40’s. Can I ask you about your vitamix? Does it easily make your nut better. We go through almond butter like crazy and I need a more economical way! Is the Vitamix worth it?
I make peanut butter in it all the time! It is wonderful for nutbutters. and I think it is totally worth it. We bought ours in 2020 and I use it nearly every day, and most days multiples times a day! And they give at 10 year warranty.
I agree with Kelli!! I got a Vitamix last year during a "Black Friday" sale and absolutely love it. I make almond butter in it all the time; and hummus...and so much more! Definitely worth it.
@@AC_2.4-10 So good to know. Thank you
I’m trying to do the math and see how much I would be able to save by making my own nut butters if I bought the almonds from Azure. Currently I’m buying the almond butter from Costco and it’s $11.99 for organic almond butter. Considering the time it will take to make the almond butter at home will it be a savings?
I’m so grateful for my parents-in-law for showing me what a healthy, happy, functional marriage WITHOUT SUBMISSION looks like! They’re absolutely great, I love learning from them.
I'm guessing the answer is no
My personal opinion abt it is the Bible says for the man to be the head of the house and for wife’s to submit this doesn’t mean wife’s can’t make decisions have opinions ect the man should make majority of the decisions with the wife’s input/opinion and base his opinion on what seems best
A logical error I encountered in your thoughts:
You first state that manipulative, controlling men will be manipulative no matter what society we live in, which is true to a certain degree. Instead of basing structures around it, you essentially state that the “good men” have to fight the “bad men” out - however, when it comes to discussing unhealthy traits in women, I noticed that you praised acting under traditional gender roles in order to satiate toxic behavior. These ideas are asymmetrical. Which philosophy do you truly stand by?
Also, I found your take on women “crying tyranny” whenever someone says they should submit to their husband to be a little iffy. Not all women who don’t fall into step with traditional gender roles or views on marriage are “abusers” or “tyrannical”, but you seem to paint this picture in the video. Pushing back against submitting to someone simply because they’re the opposite gender doesn’t immediately mean they’re toxic: someone can have a different view from you and not be toxic. I welcome a counter argument if you feel as though I misconstrued your statement.
“We’re equal in value, we’re not equal in function”: how would you explain this idea to an atheist who doesn’t believe in an all-loving God? To most, value does equal function.
Finally, I do disagree with the concept that all change starts in the household. You can be just as effective of a tool for good if you’re out in the world pursuing a career in, say, law in pursuit of improved animal or human rights (there are dozens of other examples, this was simply the first that came to mind). Little is going to get done if all everyone is focused on is building a family.
But - and I am not a "feminist" - you shouldn't put every woman and every man into the same basket. We don't have to play roles if, inside, we don't feel good and want to work (as a woman) or to relax more (as a man). Role play often leads to silent discontent.