The Best Joke Ever!

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 35 тис.

  • @doomarseproduction6389
    @doomarseproduction6389 4 роки тому +2651

    When I was a kid I didn't know what subscribe means and I keep forgetting his channel name so I would search "best joke ever" and see his latest upload

    • @Chesburbger
      @Chesburbger 3 роки тому +129

      so ur calling him a joke?

    • @Vaibhavgaunekar
      @Vaibhavgaunekar 3 роки тому +5

      Lol

    • @ricardo.compere8504
      @ricardo.compere8504 3 роки тому +6

      @@Chesburbger " i thought this sign /" seperates it from sentences from the source and their words

    • @beactivebehappy9894
      @beactivebehappy9894 3 роки тому +24

      And I used to think that by subscribing I have to pay money, and I never knew that individual creators could upload UA-cam videos. I always thought UA-cam hired people for videos like tv

    • @justjit6466
      @justjit6466 3 роки тому +1

      So how old are you now?

  • @jakemathew2340
    @jakemathew2340 7 років тому +5618

    I have some jokes about unemployment
    Oh wait none of them work

  • @akshat7459
    @akshat7459 5 років тому +4549

    Oh I get it as the third one was duck so they had to duck while going to the bar( only took me 6 years)

    • @3dpotato222
      @3dpotato222 4 роки тому +27

      Lol

    • @slaven5239
      @slaven5239 4 роки тому +153

      Yeah but the wording used kinda bugs me. I feel like I'm missing something

    • @theironknight2544
      @theironknight2544 4 роки тому +163

      @@slaven5239 yes it supposed to be "The third one ducks".

    • @richard23077
      @richard23077 4 роки тому +8

      It took me 30 secs

    • @tuanbuivan7782
      @tuanbuivan7782 4 роки тому +63

      it only took me your comment

  • @iloveeveryone47
    @iloveeveryone47 4 роки тому +1622

    How to cure a sick chemist ?
    Step1: try to helium
    Step2: if u cant carium
    Step3: u might as well barium

  • @iprobablyforgotsomething
    @iprobablyforgotsomething 8 років тому +1755

    Watched it, laughed, watched it again, laughed again. Ahh, so punny.

  • @bread822
    @bread822 6 років тому +3752

    Teacher: Use dandelion in a sentence.
    Kid: *Jamaican accent* The cheetah is faster dandelion.

  • @Rose-qg9vc
    @Rose-qg9vc 8 років тому +605

    -Knock knock!
    -Who's there?
    -Daisy!
    -Daisy who?
    -Daisy me rollin', they hattin',...

  • @TheChosenOne1_
    @TheChosenOne1_ 4 роки тому +484

    1:58
    Imagine you're walking on the street and you see this

  • @thatshot-ey8kh
    @thatshot-ey8kh 9 років тому +576

    Heres a joke. Once upon a time in school...
    Teacher: Ok kids, what does the chicken give you?
    Pupils: Meat!
    Teacher: Good! What does the pig give you?
    Pupils: Bacon!
    Teacher: Great! What does the fat cow give you?
    Pupils: Homework!

    • @shereen.6760
      @shereen.6760 9 років тому +3

      Wtf

    • @fade6827
      @fade6827 9 років тому +49

      thatshot5345 Great joke.. One boy asked another boy if he thought God had a sense of humor, the other boy replied by saying "Yes, he created you"

    • @Miguel-wt7zf
      @Miguel-wt7zf 9 років тому +2

      PeteT36 fucking wrecked m8

    • @MattyTTT
      @MattyTTT 9 років тому +3

      PeteT36 OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @gavindalf2547
      @gavindalf2547 9 років тому

      thatshot5345 Here's a joke
      Haven't seen that before.

  • @hawaibam
    @hawaibam 4 роки тому +249

    I almost lost myself when he sits down after saying " This is the only type of joke I can't stand" .

  • @tyrekesavage8420
    @tyrekesavage8420 8 років тому +8482

    so i farted in an apple store and everyone got mad so i said too bad they dont have windows

  • @dreddlmao
    @dreddlmao 4 роки тому +5782

    If I have twin daughters, I’ll name one Kate.
    And I’ll name the other DupliKate.

  • @aden55
    @aden55 5 років тому +5643

    I once tried telling a chemistry joke
    But i got no reaction

  • @whtevercomesfrst
    @whtevercomesfrst 9 років тому +715

    There are three friends named somebody,nobody and crazy
    One day crazy saw somebody killed nobody
    She yelled for help
    She go to the poplice station and said
    Crazy: SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY!!!
    Police:what?
    Crazy: SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY!!
    Police: are you crazy?!
    Crazy: YES IM CRAZY!

  • @zxcvb1715
    @zxcvb1715 8 років тому +436

    How does Harry Potter go down a hill?
    Walking
    JK Rolling!!!

  • @fukro7557
    @fukro7557 4 роки тому +331

    Since English is not my first language when I first watched it about 3 years ago I didn't fully understood all the puns but now I got every joke! It feels so nice

  • @TheCommanderbrian
    @TheCommanderbrian 10 років тому +5683

    Hey guys, i've got a builder joke.
    I'm still working on it.

    • @that1lemon80
      @that1lemon80 9 років тому +28

      Nice one

    • @CloakerM8
      @CloakerM8 9 років тому +28

      Tyler Cafro I see what you did there...

    • @TheCommanderbrian
      @TheCommanderbrian 9 років тому +4

      hehe

    • @tulaibhussain5013
      @tulaibhussain5013 9 років тому +54

      Wanna hear a joke about Ebola?
      Never mind, you won't get it

    • @tulaibhussain5013
      @tulaibhussain5013 9 років тому +12

      ***** I told this joke to my friends and it came back to me like this
      Wanna hear a joke about Ebola?
      Don't worry, you won't get it
      THAT IS NOT IT

  • @Anonymous-lt5hc
    @Anonymous-lt5hc 8 років тому +357

    So, I decided to get a Brain transplant but I changed my mind.

  • @ExtantFrodo2
    @ExtantFrodo2 10 років тому +203

    2 guys walk into a bar. Short people have it so easy!

    • @goaway5434
      @goaway5434 10 років тому

      Lol

    • @nagarjunprasad
      @nagarjunprasad 10 років тому +2

      RWJ shud have it easy

    • @daskillz69
      @daskillz69 10 років тому +2

      He meant short on money right people? :) 'here have some free stuff'

    • @ExtantFrodo2
      @ExtantFrodo2 10 років тому +3

      Brian Watson Can you spot me a ten? I'm sure I could pay you back the second Tuesday of next week.

    • @nadanor1234
      @nadanor1234 4 роки тому

      @@daskillz69 short people are too short to run into the bar's door

  • @randomeggthatworksforthefb7172
    @randomeggthatworksforthefb7172 4 роки тому +1988

    Two guys got arrested for stealing a calendar...
    They both got six months.

    • @randydavis891
      @randydavis891 4 роки тому +10

      🤣😂🤣😂🤣
      In Jail?

    • @sunnyvakkalanka2739
      @sunnyvakkalanka2739 4 роки тому +13

      i dont get it

    • @jasmine7538
      @jasmine7538 4 роки тому +19

      @@sunnyvakkalanka27396 months can mean that they each “get” 6 months since there are twelve months on the calendar, but it can also mean 6 months in jail😝

    • @sunnyvakkalanka2739
      @sunnyvakkalanka2739 4 роки тому +3

      @@jasmine7538 ok i get it now thanks

    • @zyansheep
      @zyansheep 4 роки тому +1

      @@sunnyvakkalanka2739 r/wooosh oh... im late

  • @idan730
    @idan730 8 років тому +305

    Well in the end, i guess the two guys missed the DUCK.
    GET IT?!
    THEY DIDN'T DUCK!
    I'M HILARIOUS.

    • @TheFdsui
      @TheFdsui 8 років тому +1

      haha

    • @thefantasylife
      @thefantasylife 8 років тому

      that was....HUMERUS!!!

    • @PabloCamaraP3C
      @PabloCamaraP3C 8 років тому +2

      +Idan Brinza Holy duck that was ducktastic!

    • @lelenny1201
      @lelenny1201 8 років тому +4

      That quacked me up

    • @LivingForChrist1
      @LivingForChrist1 8 років тому +1

      +Idan Brinza *_Jesus is Lord. To hear about how I saw the Lord, check my uploads._*

  • @ihatenoobs5346
    @ihatenoobs5346 6 років тому +1923

    What does a ninja say to agree to do something?
    Shur-i-ken

  • @たける-r8d
    @たける-r8d 8 років тому +244

    Science teacher told us this joke: 2 guys walk into a bar. One orders H2O, and the other says he wants H2O too. One of them dies. Guess why. (H2O2 = hydrogen peroxide which is poisonous)

    • @anthonyscalia7053
      @anthonyscalia7053 8 років тому +8

      A nerd joke, I like it

    • @cat9448
      @cat9448 8 років тому +5

      +TNunchaku. Bro who goes into a bar and then order water lol

    • @FirstNameLastName-zp1wq
      @FirstNameLastName-zp1wq 8 років тому +4

      That one's an oldie, but a goodie.

    • @skullcruncher2049
      @skullcruncher2049 8 років тому +2

      The sequel is : 2 guys walk into a bar, one orders h2o the other orders water. Just because your a scientist doesn't mean you have to say the scientific name... ;-;

    • @yaileenkren-colon4924
      @yaileenkren-colon4924 8 років тому +1

      Hey, mine too!

  • @wolfania
    @wolfania 5 років тому +74

    My and my brother used to have this whole video memorized. Man this brings back memories

    • @ruthalysse4096
      @ruthalysse4096 2 роки тому +4

      Just recited this with my 19 yo brother xD it never gets old

  • @BallistaTheDeer
    @BallistaTheDeer 9 років тому +369

    Characters: Shutup, Manneers, and a dog named Poop.
    Police: Hey, what were you doing back there?
    Shutup: Speeding, why?
    Police: What's your name?
    Shutup: Shutup.
    Police: Where's your manners?
    Shutup: He's back at my place picking up Poop.
    Police: WTF???

    • @1jesusmixdj
      @1jesusmixdj 9 років тому

      LOL, good one!

    • @carlov.4408
      @carlov.4408 9 років тому

      i know this somewhere....

    • @bubblebath2620
      @bubblebath2620 9 років тому

      This is a good one haha

    • @BallistaTheDeer
      @BallistaTheDeer 9 років тому

      Thanks :D

    • @BallistaTheDeer
      @BallistaTheDeer 9 років тому

      Oh, your version sounds a bit different. It's actually been a while since I've heard that joke from my friend, so some parts were made from what I could barely remember.

  • @fanaticentertainment4270
    @fanaticentertainment4270 8 років тому +380

    So three guys are standing on top of a cliff. There is a sign there, and it says whatever each person says next will be what they fall into if they jump off.
    The first guy, excited, yells "CASH!", jumps off, and falls into a bunch of cash.
    The second guy yells "PILLOWS!" and falls into a bunch of pillows.
    Unfortunately for the third guy, he wasn't paying much attention and was therefore confused when he saw his two friends jump off the cliff. He peered over to see what happened, and accidentally fell off the edge. Without thinking, he yelled:
    "OH SH*T!"

    • @dolojan
      @dolojan 8 років тому +19

      Hahahahhaha he landed on poop

    • @user-js8yt3ho9v
      @user-js8yt3ho9v 8 років тому +7

      +fanaticentertainment 10/10

    • @Henbeim
      @Henbeim 8 років тому +27

      He landed on an "O" and an "H". right?

    • @loranbulut26
      @loranbulut26 8 років тому +1

      Ha real funny

    • @nemoybarrant9741
      @nemoybarrant9741 8 років тому +2

      +fanaticentertainment lol its good to pay attention

  • @hayderimran7
    @hayderimran7 10 років тому +137

    a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
    The horse has crippling depression, alcoholism is his only escape.

    • @CharlotteAndWhiskey
      @CharlotteAndWhiskey 10 років тому +16

      a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why the long face?". the horse got ran over and his face is kinda crushed.

    • @daskillz69
      @daskillz69 10 років тому +2

      So original !!!

    • @daskillz69
      @daskillz69 10 років тому +1

      Brian Watson It's not supposed to be punny. www.bing.com/images/search?q=original+beer&qs=AS&sk=AS5&FORM=QBIR&pq=original%20beer&sc=8-13&sp=6&qs=AS&sk=AS5#view=detail&id=A8605D306E85A49D45E7E00ABBB324A915006BFA&selectedIndex=17

    • @danielsjohnson
      @danielsjohnson 10 років тому

      racist joke incoming (you have been warned) a black guy, a jew, and a mexican walk into a bar. The bartender says GTFO.

    • @danielsjohnson
      @danielsjohnson 10 років тому

      I guess you're right. The whole point was bartenders used to simply reject service to black people. Actually the fact that you DON"T find it funny is a sign that humanity is moving in the right direction.

  • @justluck5970
    @justluck5970 4 роки тому +1257

    What room do ghost hate?
    The Living Room.

  • @chainsawhottie
    @chainsawhottie 10 років тому +34

    you see how it has a space when it says it
    Two guys walked into a bar
    >
    The third one was a duck
    so it goes
    Two guys walk into a bar
    *knock Knock*
    you dont hear the third one, because it ducked. my life is completed.

  • @ezana333
    @ezana333 8 років тому +756

    The Sirius black joke killed me

    • @aurellwidjaya9117
      @aurellwidjaya9117 8 років тому

      Ezana Tareke i dun get it

    • @aurellwidjaya9117
      @aurellwidjaya9117 8 років тому

      nevermind

    • @captainsheep1696
      @captainsheep1696 8 років тому +3

      Avada kedavra

    • @tomkd6411
      @tomkd6411 8 років тому +19

      - you're white.
      - no, I'm black.
      - LOL, stop joking.
      - I'm serious.

    • @samelabalazi
      @samelabalazi 7 років тому

      Ezana Tareke ughhh i wish i could like ur comment but i like the nr 69 and i dont want to turn it into 70 sooo teeheee

  • @jim95819
    @jim95819 7 років тому +2479

    Koala: i have the right koalafications
    Elephant: your koalafications are completely irrelephant
    Lion: dont listen to him hes lion!
    Bear: this arguing is becoming unbearable.
    Horse: indeed its making my voice horse
    Owl: horse please when do you ever say something smart. Come on owl wait for it
    Hawk: ouch hawkward
    Giraffe: im out of here you all are giraffing me crazy
    Kitten: ur kitten me right?
    Goat: i agree they have goat to be kitten me
    Cheetah: dont be such a cheetah goat u can only use ur own animal name.

    • @gia8804
      @gia8804 7 років тому +41

      James Dutcher cool joke but can you explain what cheetah meant? I'm a little lost, sorry 😅😅

    • @smaugtheimpenetrable8009
      @smaugtheimpenetrable8009 7 років тому +51

      Gia Vincent , cheatah means cheater

    • @gia8804
      @gia8804 7 років тому +27

      SMAUG The Impenetrable I know that part, but what did they mean when it said "you can only use your own animal name? Wait a minutes....ohhhh he said "kitten" OK I get it now......I'm really sorry😅

    • @xeefii
      @xeefii 7 років тому +7

      Cheetah isnt even close to the meaning "cheater". Cheetah is in a leopard/cat family.

    • @smaugtheimpenetrable8009
      @smaugtheimpenetrable8009 7 років тому +39

      Pandai , its just a play of words bro , its close to the pronunciation of "cheater".

  • @shanegrimshaw7445
    @shanegrimshaw7445 5 років тому +347

    Why do shoes always lose at everything?
    :because they always face de - feet

    • @noorhazaini1240
      @noorhazaini1240 4 роки тому +1

      Underrated lmao

    • @ginpau7416
      @ginpau7416 4 роки тому +2

      I thought you were gonna say because they always TIE

    • @AhmedMustafa22788
      @AhmedMustafa22788 3 роки тому

      This is underrated

    • @lopi1928
      @lopi1928 3 роки тому +2

      @@ginpau7416 but the tie doesnt do anything, does it KNOT

  • @samuelito3931
    @samuelito3931 9 років тому +445

    Little Timmy was playing in the garden, and squashed a honey bee. His dad saw, and was so angry that he said 'No honey for a month!' Then he saw Little Timmy swat a butterfly, and he said 'No butter for a month, and you have to come inside now!' Meanwhile, his mum was cooking dinner. A cockroach ran across the kitchen, and she panicked and crushed it under her foot just as Little Timmy and his dad walked in. Little Timmy looked at his dad and said 'Do you want to tell her, or shall I?'

    • @monke2438
      @monke2438 9 років тому +9

      +Yao Teck Ng yeah like this is how you spell cokeroach idiot

    • @zyngo
      @zyngo 9 років тому +23

      +Andreas Niinimaa it's cockroach, you're the idiot

    • @dekaron12
      @dekaron12 9 років тому +10

      +Samuelito THis is pretty damn good. Unless is just another copy'n'paste? My first time seeing so it was amazing.

    • @dekaron12
      @dekaron12 9 років тому

      THis is pretty damn good. Unless is just another copy'n'paste? My first time seeing so it was amazing.

    • @zyngo
      @zyngo 9 років тому +6

      Harman Nagra I'm sorry, its hard to detect sarcasm over the internet

  • @liquify1928
    @liquify1928 7 років тому +1661

    Do you know how the Mexicans felt when Trump put a wall?
    I don't know either but they will get over it

    • @OneiroHare
      @OneiroHare 6 років тому +6

      Liquify inspit out my cereal

    • @manio_e
      @manio_e 6 років тому +1

      Get over it with Bennet foddy.

    • @t-greenrock404
      @t-greenrock404 6 років тому

      AKA The worst 3 hours of your life.

    • @PQAisha
      @PQAisha 5 років тому

      Mega oof

    • @PQAisha
      @PQAisha 5 років тому +2

      @@luckyguy9059 ahhhhhh

  • @liquify1928
    @liquify1928 7 років тому +2404

    Do you know how I escaped Iraq?
    I-ran

  • @ahmedbadr6194
    @ahmedbadr6194 4 роки тому +145

    My last two brain cells on an exam:
    1:58

  • @mishawinchestermalfoy7433
    @mishawinchestermalfoy7433 8 років тому +734

    after 3 years I finally understood the Sirius black joke

    • @songd7466
      @songd7466 8 років тому +15

      what is it?

    • @user-fo9pf
      @user-fo9pf 8 років тому +26

      DraquellaMalfoyPotter *after 12 years ;)))))

    • @miomeki1129
      @miomeki1129 8 років тому +13

      Songviet Dau Sirius Black is a character from Harry Potter.

    • @mohammadmahmoud7208
      @mohammadmahmoud7208 8 років тому +17

      DraquellaMalfoyPotter After All this time?

    • @theradroach
      @theradroach 8 років тому +15

      Mohammad Mahmoud always

  • @levelheaded0038
    @levelheaded0038 5 років тому +53

    I’m still convinced this is one of the most clever videos ever put on the Internet

  • @elinaylor6861
    @elinaylor6861 5 років тому +320

    i tried to catch a cloud today, But i mist.

  • @MrPro-eu7ym
    @MrPro-eu7ym 4 роки тому +42

    Ryan: Ok lets cut to the chase
    Guy named Chase: WHAT????

  • @thisguyispeculiar
    @thisguyispeculiar 5 років тому +584

    That moment when you realise that you understood every single joke and pun in the video.
    "My level of IQ is out of this universe. "

  • @theonlymeian
    @theonlymeian 8 років тому +707

    joker: knock knock
    batman: whos there?
    joker: not ur parentz
    ba dum tss

    • @cilla5625
      @cilla5625 8 років тому +1

      -.-

    • @elenasalazar3660
      @elenasalazar3660 8 років тому +3

      Aww. Poor batty😰 but on the inside I'm dying of laughter. I'm a bad person I know lol

    • @grantmacdonald3904
      @grantmacdonald3904 8 років тому

      Darth Vader: Knock Knock
      Luke Skywalker: Who's There?
      Darth Vader: YOUR FATHER

    • @thecoolmik
      @thecoolmik 8 років тому +5

      Leeroy Jenkins Your Father who?

    • @fearthetroll9129
      @fearthetroll9129 8 років тому

      someone:knock knock
      me:fuck you

  • @gracefulmender
    @gracefulmender 8 років тому +58

    What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell.

    • @wamadamfmm1546
      @wamadamfmm1546 8 років тому

      Lol

    • @ferrumoxydine
      @ferrumoxydine 8 років тому

      +Toughsams-Vloger I don't get it

    • @jackmorgan1867
      @jackmorgan1867 8 років тому

      +Rendy Mahfudz
      Very Simple:
      Dell the Computer Manufacturer
      Adele The Singer

    • @SHROUDinBGMI
      @SHROUDinBGMI 8 років тому

      +Anil Aslan (SdoubleA) which brand which is already been eaten???

  • @user-yo6dt6vw2l
    @user-yo6dt6vw2l 5 років тому +33

    I love this so much. I laughed as soon as it literally cut to the chase.

  • @sijcecilio
    @sijcecilio 8 років тому +74

    Dark jokes are like children with cancer
    they never get old

  • @carsonpope_
    @carsonpope_ 8 років тому +1794

    These aren't jokes....
    These are puns!

  • @dubRush
    @dubRush 10 років тому +128

    When they both walk into the bar, there shouldve been a third guy that ducks under it

    • @thijsiphone
      @thijsiphone 10 років тому +1

      nee dat is niet zo als ik een banaan ben is het geen appel jij snapt me toch wel?

    • @quinnhumphrey3472
      @quinnhumphrey3472 10 років тому

      I know right

    • @1SSJA
      @1SSJA 10 років тому +25

      Camera guy, dude

    • @lolcatgaming5325
      @lolcatgaming5325 10 років тому +2

      thijsiphone um the translation makes no sense

    • @thijsiphone
      @thijsiphone 10 років тому

      lolcat Gaming Its no translation its dutch and im dutch ;)

  • @UnknownUser-ix7tn
    @UnknownUser-ix7tn 5 років тому +439

    My cousin : “It’s raining cats and dogs today.”
    Me: “Yeah it is raining cats and dogs today, it say’s it in the weather FURcast.”
    ...get it cause cat’s and dogs have fur...
    Okay I’m out.

    • @maheshnautiyal9750
      @maheshnautiyal9750 5 років тому +19

      You dont need to explain it

    • @pineforest1442
      @pineforest1442 5 років тому +1

      Unknown User says doesn’t have an apostrophe.

    • @nogica4428
      @nogica4428 4 роки тому +5

      I would like this comment, but it has 69 likes. Great number huh

    • @justamanofculture12
      @justamanofculture12 4 роки тому

      In gta vice city, cats and dogs is a cheat i think.

    • @bjugler
      @bjugler 4 роки тому +3

      It's raining cats and dogs outside...
      And I just stepped in a poodle.

  • @s.bakyhnh1756
    @s.bakyhnh1756 10 років тому +175

    This is pure genius

    • @EliteWizzerd946
      @EliteWizzerd946 10 років тому +3

      If anyone can beat this...I will double fist them shit!

    • @underrsiegee6255
      @underrsiegee6255 10 років тому +4

      EliteWizzerd946 promise ;) ?

    • @EliteWizzerd946
      @EliteWizzerd946 10 років тому +2

      To be honest, I have no idea WTF I just said. I'm just saying a very rough quote. XD

  • @jordaniwuchukwu6000
    @jordaniwuchukwu6000 11 років тому +43

    no this is the best joke
    "Why did Sally fall off the swingset"
    "She has no arms"
    "Knock Knock"
    "Whose there?"
    "Not Sally"

    • @NuclearNoodle42
      @NuclearNoodle42 11 років тому +9

      no…
      "Why did jimmy drop his ice cream"
      Cus he got hit by a bus

    • @creepet6094
      @creepet6094 11 років тому +5

      NuclearNoodle42 What did tarzan say when he saw an elephant coming?
      "Here comes an elephant"

    • @julieannehutchins373
      @julieannehutchins373 11 років тому +6

      no.
      why was the little boy upset?
      because there was a frog stapled to his face

    • @jordaniwuchukwu6000
      @jordaniwuchukwu6000 11 років тому

      Jillian Britton no to be honest thats pretty fucking funny

    • @yekna459
      @yekna459 11 років тому +6

      No this is the best joke?
      -Why doesnt the skeleton want to jump from the 20th floor!
      -Because he has no Balls!

  • @dariuschien9949
    @dariuschien9949 7 років тому +1647

    What do you call a bear with no ears?
    B

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому +7

      Darius Chien woww😂

    • @ziejackson6236
      @ziejackson6236 6 років тому +26

      BS

    • @khonzahanny
      @khonzahanny 6 років тому +4

      Omg I stopped dead to think few seconds then laugh. Why I was laughing seriously

    • @TheCubeSnowflake
      @TheCubeSnowflake 6 років тому +18

      What do you call a fish with no eyes?
      A fsh

    • @heyhey97777
      @heyhey97777 5 років тому +4

      No it’s B-S

  • @anonymouscommenter4430
    @anonymouscommenter4430 4 роки тому +178

    It took me 7 years to understand this joke

    • @davidwang1637
      @davidwang1637 4 роки тому +4

      I don't get it.

    • @Lbana7
      @Lbana7 4 роки тому +3

      Your profile pic 😂😂😂

    • @agoodpotato844
      @agoodpotato844 3 роки тому +4

      @@davidwang1637 I feel like I'm close to decoding it now.. Only two friends walked into the bar since the other is a duck and that duck won't reach the bar because he don't have the height for it, it's a knock knock joke, knock and knock the sound of those two friends knocking their head into the bar and!!!!! I actually still don't get it.. Mere mortals like us won't be able to comprehend that

    • @adamwigley9738
      @adamwigley9738 3 роки тому +1

      @@agoodpotato844 Well if you find out the answer let me know lol. I too thought that the duck wouldn't reach the bar; also he said it was a knock knock joke and them hitting their heads made a "knock knock" sound, but then there's the duck. I was thinking something to do with "the chicken crossing the road" joke but its a duck not a chicken. And him reading the joke on his computer was obviously intentionally worded that way. I have no idea!?

    • @shaunakshetye7297
      @shaunakshetye7297 3 роки тому +1

      @@adamwigley9738 the third one was duck so they had to duck while going to avoid the bar...

  • @MichaelMagnus2ndthe3rd
    @MichaelMagnus2ndthe3rd 8 років тому +96

    One day Kirby walked into a bar. In there he met a knight.

    • @ikeidas7946
      @ikeidas7946 8 років тому +8

      Meta knight, met a knight with a metanite

  • @CERTIFIED_SILLGUY
    @CERTIFIED_SILLGUY 7 років тому +224

    What do you call a motor with ears?
    Engineers

  • @iconofchaos
    @iconofchaos 6 років тому +452

    1: You know what sucks?
    2: A vaccuum
    1:No like metamorphically
    2: A black hole
    1:No like what's not cool...
    2: The Sun
    1: Your so hard to talk to
    2: You're*

    • @bringbackmemesineurope1576
      @bringbackmemesineurope1576 5 років тому +20

      Be more original shithead

    • @pineforest1442
      @pineforest1442 5 років тому +9

      :. gØØwy .: lol technically you won’t be able to correct someone for spelling you’re wrong when they talk to them. It’s a homophone m8.

    • @GWKrae
      @GWKrae 5 років тому +2

      Erin McKeown ifkr..

    • @GWKrae
      @GWKrae 5 років тому +3

      Erin McKeown you don't know if they're grammatically wrong unless it's chat

    • @jastejkohli5396
      @jastejkohli5396 5 років тому

      Head

  • @sreeramsuresh8823
    @sreeramsuresh8823 3 роки тому +33

    Who still watches his old videos because he doesn’t upload anymore.

  • @gonereducedtoatoms.2785
    @gonereducedtoatoms.2785 6 років тому +1066

    GUY1: You smell like updog.
    GUY2: What’s updog?
    GUY1: Hey.
    I’m gonna wait until you get the joke.

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому +56

      Introverted Incognito that's not a joke you just said something random to confuse others😂

    • @priestshibe
      @priestshibe 6 років тому +129

      Actually it’s not random guy 2 says what’s up dog!!!

    • @bkg6676
      @bkg6676 6 років тому +53

      @@priestshibe lmao thank you for explaining
      i was literally confused

    • @TheCubeSnowflake
      @TheCubeSnowflake 6 років тому +38

      Wassup dawg?
      I get it.

    • @MooMoo44778
      @MooMoo44778 6 років тому +31

      Not much, what’s up with you?

  • @JustinBaiThechickennuggetman
    @JustinBaiThechickennuggetman 9 років тому +174

    Two hunters are walking in a forest and one passes out. The other hunter thinks he is dead so he dials 911. 911 says, "make sure he is really dead." a few seconds later, he hears a gunshot. The other hunter now says, "what do i do next?"

  • @KatieLPSProductions
    @KatieLPSProductions 7 років тому +484

    HEY. why does peterpan always fly?
    Because he neverlands . Get it? No? Okay I'll just leave

    • @filiptalimdzioski7281
      @filiptalimdzioski7281 6 років тому +7

      KatieLPSProductions Oh I get it. You made a pun out of Netherlands.

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому

      Lol

    • @aldohaimar4382
      @aldohaimar4382 6 років тому +3

      This joke will never get old

    • @PQAisha
      @PQAisha 5 років тому +1

      Ah

    • @onepunchman1953
      @onepunchman1953 5 років тому

      @@filiptalimdzioski7281 You being sarcastic? Or you never heard about Neverland?

  • @julianna2725
    @julianna2725 5 років тому +104

    You know the drilll
    But do you know the nail
    Haha nailed that one
    But I almost screwed it up...

  • @DeonLajqi
    @DeonLajqi 5 років тому +408

    Me: what’s the difference between a tuna, guitar, and a pot of glue
    Friend:idk
    Me:you can tuna guitar but you cannot guitar a tuna
    Friend:what about the glue
    Me:I knew you’d get *stuck* there

  • @craftyheidi6688
    @craftyheidi6688 6 років тому +499

    What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
    Bi- son!!

  • @haste3764
    @haste3764 6 років тому +314

    Sometimes I kneel down, tuck my knees in and lean forward.
    That’s just how I roll.

  • @captainkinderegg
    @captainkinderegg 3 роки тому +32

    Guys stop giving me jokes I can’t keep on liking them

  • @ParagnFilmzTM
    @ParagnFilmzTM 10 років тому +449

    Heres one.Its not the best in the world but still funny:
    A boy is sitting in class and his math teacher asks," Joseph, please answer this math equation.A man is hunting ducks and kills 1 of the 4 ducks.How many are left?" Joseph replies," None, cuz the noise would scare them away."The teacher smiles and says," No, the answer is 3.But I like the way you're thinking."Joseph seems happy."Now I got a question for you, teacher.There are three women eating ice cream.One is biting her cone, the second is licking the cone, and the third is sucking the cone.Which one is married?" The teacher thinks for a second and then says," The one sucking the cone?" Joseph says "No, the one with the ring on her finger.But I like the way you're thinking >.>"
    Was that a funny joke?

  • @AapeliSeveri
    @AapeliSeveri 7 років тому +331

    How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
    Walking.
    JK ROLLING!!!!!

  • @g4be116
    @g4be116 7 років тому +2278

    WOW REALLY???? Its been 5 years since this has been posted wow
    WTF

    • @NickTasy
      @NickTasy 7 років тому +4

      Gratz Yeah time sure fuckin flies, huh. This video was posted the day after my first day of high school. Crazy

    • @aspire7001
      @aspire7001 7 років тому +2

      and it seems like it was posted just now

    • @cyb3rmoon117
      @cyb3rmoon117 7 років тому +1

      Gratz about to be 6 tonight probally

    • @g4be116
      @g4be116 7 років тому +1

      Sunlight DIY oh sht lol

    • @meemogamingormemomikemike4308
      @meemogamingormemomikemike4308 7 років тому

      Gratz whe

  • @aaryanthakur2600
    @aaryanthakur2600 3 роки тому +26

    Can you use because 3 times in a sentence
    Other guy-No dummy
    Me-You cannot use ' because '3 times in a sentence because 'because' is a conjunction.
    That friend is no more my friend

    • @editingsperfect9397
      @editingsperfect9397 3 роки тому

      You cannot end a sentence with "because" , because "because" is a conjunction.

    • @aaryanthakur2600
      @aaryanthakur2600 3 роки тому

      @@editingsperfect9397 yessir

  • @Dexfire20
    @Dexfire20 9 років тому +52

    Wanna hear a funny joke??
    What do you call an overused joke?
    HOO-DINI!

    • @tonstone0186
      @tonstone0186 9 років тому +6

      Vanoos lol
      Hooooo dini

    • @nebula1591
      @nebula1591 9 років тому +1

      Monthr Al Orimi nooooo

    • @somestuff8969
      @somestuff8969 9 років тому

      Monthr Al Orimi It's not funny... its a stupid made up weird thing that doesn't make any sense....

    • @Dexfire20
      @Dexfire20 9 років тому

      ToonGroup Productions it does make sense
      but you just don't get it ;)

    • @somestuff8969
      @somestuff8969 9 років тому

      Monthr Al Orimi ik

  • @master0dinolggaming784
    @master0dinolggaming784 7 років тому +433

    Why did Adele cross the road
    To say hello from the other side

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому +1

      Master0din Olg gaming 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 hahahahhahahahahhahahahhah you made me burst to laughs

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому +1

      I wish i could give you more thumbs

    • @iconofchaos
      @iconofchaos 6 років тому +3

      *HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE*

    • @offbeatpeers6863
      @offbeatpeers6863 5 років тому +1

      The most underrated comment out here...

    • @akshay.s
      @akshay.s 5 років тому +1

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @trystanfresh
    @trystanfresh 8 років тому +126

    whoever made th subtitles is freaking awesome!

  • @juliancook5729
    @juliancook5729 4 роки тому +52

    Nobody:
    UA-cam algorithm: time to bring back mega nostalgia

  • @CallMeStrawberry1211
    @CallMeStrawberry1211 11 років тому +33

    I don't know if it's because I'm tired, or what but I probably laughed too hard at this.

  • @burgerboi4302
    @burgerboi4302 9 років тому +63

    I was going to tell a dubstep joke.
    but I'll just drop it.

  • @epicfinish2457
    @epicfinish2457 9 років тому +315

    Best Joke:
    What instrument does a skeleton play?
    A tromBONE
    Wasn't that humerus?
    These jokes tickle my funny bone
    Man, these puns send a shiver down my spine

    • @fifia8
      @fifia8 9 років тому +4

      +EpicFinish9 to those who laughed: Hip Hip Hooray!
      And to those who facepalmed over the comment: It's going tibia ok.

    • @epicfinish2457
      @epicfinish2457 9 років тому

      ***** Haha You caught on

    • @CubedCubone
      @CubedCubone 9 років тому +4

      I feel my puns crawling on my back... It's going to be a bad night...

    • @FrancoCastillo861
      @FrancoCastillo861 8 років тому +3

      ha undertale 😂

    • @jeremyaxel
      @jeremyaxel 8 років тому

      ***** Did I ever say it was funny? No. I just like it. Dummy (pun intended)

  • @AryakalpaBhattacharya
    @AryakalpaBhattacharya 4 роки тому +45

    *Do you know since when UA-cam lost its quality??*
    *Since Ryan's last regular upload*

    • @Boldorx
      @Boldorx 3 роки тому

      And since Smosh got sold

  • @rockypumpum
    @rockypumpum 8 років тому +47

    How it should've ended.
    Knock knock
    Who's there
    TEE
    TEE WHO
    Not TEE WHO,TEEHEE

  • @billbill918
    @billbill918 6 років тому +172

    the person who made the knock knock joke probably win the NOBELL prize XD

    • @Orthodox.777
      @Orthodox.777 6 років тому +2

      Billy Zheng 😂😂😂😂😂😂 no 🔔

    • @hilal_younus
      @hilal_younus 4 роки тому

      Nobel peace price? Really ?

    • @ourgem4116
      @ourgem4116 4 роки тому +2

      @@hilal_younusyou're an idiot... you know that?

    • @haaarrl
      @haaarrl 4 роки тому

      @@ourgem4116 agreed

    • @Smitty-op4ld
      @Smitty-op4ld 4 роки тому

      Or can't stop turning on their grave for all the corniness they released on the earth that may continue for all eternity.

  • @jasonsmart6883
    @jasonsmart6883 8 років тому +7

    a horse said to his jockey "I think you're very good at this!"the jockey responded with " HOLY S*** A TALKING HORSE!"

  • @briarmason8737
    @briarmason8737 5 років тому +355

    I went over to my depressed friends house to hang out...
    ...He already started without me.

  • @united270
    @united270 8 років тому +3197

    I was gonna tell a joke about cheddar, but it was to cheesy, it would have been grate though.
    😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

  • @sonishrivastava9370
    @sonishrivastava9370 5 років тому +558

    Holy shii.. This comment section Is so punny. 😂

  • @remblogtv9902
    @remblogtv9902 5 років тому +260

    Teacher: Introduce your self
    Student: Hi my father's name laughing
    My mother's name smiling
    Teacher: Are you kidding
    Student: No he is my cousin. I'M JOKING

    • @Override1
      @Override1 5 років тому +5

      I dont get it

    • @JoyAlarcon02
      @JoyAlarcon02 5 років тому +1

      hahaha

    • @milesrichardson7112
      @milesrichardson7112 5 років тому +1

      I fell (off the shelf) for it

    • @Override1
      @Override1 5 років тому

      Can someone explain?

    • @milesrichardson7112
      @milesrichardson7112 5 років тому +8

      @@Override1 the student asks if the student's name is kidding, but that's his cousin's name. The student's name is joking.

  • @aminathumar6408
    @aminathumar6408 5 років тому +188

    A blind man walks into a bar.
    And a table. and a chair. and a
    people

    • @limejelo
      @limejelo 4 роки тому +8

      I've seen this joke so many times I'm numb to it

    • @amongsus9322
      @amongsus9322 4 роки тому +6

      I don’t get it

    • @raees6330
      @raees6330 4 роки тому +6

      strategic gamer blind person accidentally walked into all of them because he can’t see

    • @blizzmc8144
      @blizzmc8144 4 роки тому

      I did not get it because of him saying a people. So I thought it was some thing to do with *a* people.

    • @justabeginner8047
      @justabeginner8047 3 роки тому

      He can't seee so he hear the voice of the people table and the chair. Not sure😂

  • @LightningEagle14
    @LightningEagle14 8 років тому +18

    I love the old videos. The number of puns fit into this one is great.

    • @SiliconBong
      @SiliconBong 6 років тому

      Why do cows lie down when it's raining?
      To keep each udder dry :P

  • @Bob-no9xp
    @Bob-no9xp 8 років тому +817

    The biggest joke is Jacob Satorious himself

  • @saiyantaresu1161
    @saiyantaresu1161 10 років тому +28

    The juggler wouldn't juggle because he didn't have the balls. OHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  • @brandonlu9860
    @brandonlu9860 4 роки тому +6

    I like how there’s no intro and it just gets into the video. That’s a real good thing that a UA-cam does, and that’s why I love Nigahiga

  • @biggiesnopp
    @biggiesnopp 7 років тому +62

    What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
    Snow balls huhuhuhuhu

  • @kebeb1825
    @kebeb1825 5 років тому +18

    It’s been six years...
    Still a great video in 2019

  • @BrokenStrafe
    @BrokenStrafe 10 років тому +50

    Oh god.. Someone pun-ish him

  • @mrdandanle
    @mrdandanle 4 роки тому +12

    *Last night I dreamt of swimming in a ocean that was colored like orange soda*
    *Turns out it was all just a Fanta sea*

  • @yulia3154
    @yulia3154 8 років тому +153

    This was 3 years ago? Feels like a couple of months tbh

    • @gianni206
      @gianni206 8 років тому +1

      well either way you can't count, cus it was actually 4 years ago.

    • @Lion-wz1ob
      @Lion-wz1ob 8 років тому +1

      +Jonny Lupus actually you can't count, he posted this before August 23 so it was only 3 years almost 4.

    • @gianni206
      @gianni206 8 років тому

      Matthew Gongupalli Don't you dare, you know I rounded up you average citizen man.

    • @Lion-wz1ob
      @Lion-wz1ob 8 років тому +1

      Jonny Lupus well if you wanted to sound smart then put the right answer up...

    • @gianni206
      @gianni206 8 років тому

      Matthew Gongupalli it's relatively higher than 3.5. Boom. Roasted. ---\\\_\I/_///---

  • @bobmcalias6878
    @bobmcalias6878 10 років тому +84

    ....and the third one is a duck....
    OH MY GOD I GET IT NOW!

    • @Th3Mafia
      @Th3Mafia 10 років тому +13

      i still dont get it? am i trying to hard?

    • @Th3Mafia
      @Th3Mafia 10 років тому

      grammer

    • @siamsama2983
      @siamsama2983 10 років тому +1

      Lol now I get it xD

    • @pie11402
      @pie11402 10 років тому +23

      I think it's the fact that the duck was so short, so it walked under, while the two guys ran into a bar.

    • @Th3Mafia
      @Th3Mafia 10 років тому +1

      ***** ok, thats more like it, lol thanks!

  • @randomperson6299
    @randomperson6299 8 років тому +135

    77% of people dont know the opposite of these words:
    Always
    Coming
    From
    Take
    Me
    Down

  • @andersonle68
    @andersonle68 4 роки тому +191

    yeah so i got this one joke about paper...
    nah, its tearable

  • @ethanray2021
    @ethanray2021 8 років тому +37

    A man walked into a bar
    And said ow

    • @notDeadly
      @notDeadly 8 років тому +1

      Hahahahahahah no.

    • @TheRealPBJ
      @TheRealPBJ 8 років тому

      Damn.

    • @PupdudePwns
      @PupdudePwns 8 років тому +8

      Better Version:
      A man walked into a bar
      And then...I can't remember, I have a wicked bad headache...

    • @lonewolflolol8182
      @lonewolflolol8182 7 років тому

      Jetkid 181 what?

  • @sapananpardeshdhakal3129
    @sapananpardeshdhakal3129 9 років тому +28

    I have a joke! So there was once a guy who only listened to his boss so whenever somebody told him something he would yell"no!!". He was working in the donut shop one day when a person asked"what do you have here?" "No!" Yelled the man. The boss than said " you were supposed to say "donuts donuts donuts!" So than another man came and said "what do you have here?" " donuts donuts donuts!" "Are they fresh?" "No!!!" " thank you for being honest, I don't want the donuts." The boss then said " you are supposed to say fresh fresh fresh!" So then another person came " what do you have here?" " donuts donuts donuts!" " Are they fresh?" " Fresh fresh fresh!" " can I have one?" " no!!!" The person left. Then the boss said" you have to say if you don't someone else will!" But then a robber came. " what's in the cashier?!!" " donuts donuts donuts!" " are you playing fresh with me?" " fresh fresh fresh!" "I'm gonna kill you!" " if you don't someone else will." Like and comment!!

  • @neoivonee6491
    @neoivonee6491 5 років тому +112

    Hey what did the door say to the other door on a date
    Your adorable hahahahaha get it

  • @janelle8421
    @janelle8421 3 роки тому +12

    The best joke to Ryan- this
    The best joke to my mom- me
    No litterally I was born in April fool's day...