Accepting It's Your Fault For The Breakup | Breakup Recovery and Moving On From Guilt

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024
  • Are you agonizing over the fact that it’s your fault for the breakup? Here’s how to handle your guilt and anxiety… and (possibly) recover the situation:
    Amy writes, “Hi Susan. Really appreciate you sharing your insights. My question is, how should I accept the fact that I messed up a relationship and have hurt my partner? I wasn't showing up in the relationship kindly and have said very judgmental and hurtful things that bruised her ego. Now she broke up with me I wish I could go back and rewrite the history, but it's too late. How do I live with this regret?”
    • Why you feel such guilt over the breakup that was supposed to set you free.
    • How dumpers remorse keeps you locked in a loop of stagnation
    • How to make peace with yourself and move on knowing that your decision was right, or take action to get your ex back
    ----
    Work with me: susanwinter.ne...
    The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
    And what's your countermove?
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    www.amazon.com...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 52

  • @alia-als
    @alia-als Рік тому +85

    We are human beings, breakups are part of our life.. even if it was your fault it’s a part of your life that will lead you to the best version of yourself.. 💜

  • @kaleavanti5291
    @kaleavanti5291 9 місяців тому +21

    I screwed too.. now really feeling horrible.. can't say sorry since I am blocked.. it's very painful and shameful..I hope , I will come out of this strong better person

    • @lethargicguy3374
      @lethargicguy3374 6 місяців тому +1

      Hey so sorry to hear that. Any updates on the situation?

  • @Powerskaty
    @Powerskaty Рік тому +10

    I wish others were teaching how to move on instead of how to get him back. You are very wise. Thank you.

  • @vivekamar99
    @vivekamar99 Рік тому +11

    Susan! This video couldn't have come at a better time for me. I screwed up a platonic relationship and am now suffering, and my thoughts exactly match yours. I wrote them today in my journal.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  Рік тому +3

      This is incredible synchronicity. Almost every time I post a video. I have one person who responds with. Oh my God. It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. This makes me so happy.

  • @turner2952
    @turner2952 Рік тому +7

    Outstanding advice, Ms. Susan. Thank you!
    Over time, we learn and grow from our mistakes. I think we have all been "young and dumb" at one time or another. The key is to learn from our mistakes and stop repeating them. That definition of insanity comes to mind - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome!

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  Рік тому

      Brava!! Perfect advice. Thank you dear Linda.❤❤❤

  • @LuisArias-ui5dw
    @LuisArias-ui5dw Рік тому +6

    Ur advice is gold Susan keep up the great content 🌹🌹🌹

  • @TheNinjapancake14
    @TheNinjapancake14 Рік тому +5

    It is a thank you, next moment. You take the lessons and move differently in the next season 💜

  • @onelove0808
    @onelove0808 Рік тому +3

    Thank you so much Susan..! I am in so much pain and I think this was very apt for me. Always beautiful and very effective videos from you..!! thanks a lot.😍

  • @VentiColdbrew_
    @VentiColdbrew_ Рік тому +7

    Needed this

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  Рік тому

      Fantastic. I love reading messages like this.

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay Рік тому +2

    Good points... 👍🏼

  • @Notsotopofthefoodchain
    @Notsotopofthefoodchain 29 днів тому

    Thank you Susan!!

  • @jw1731
    @jw1731 День тому +1

    Think of it this way. If they screwed up, it’s not your fault and it doesn’t reflect upon you. Hence you have nothing to feel guilty for and you can find someone better.
    But if it were your fault, as long as you know what you did wrong all you need to do is correct it and find someone better and do better next time. And the fact you managed to attract someone who had to be with you to see your faults says you’re still an attractive person.
    So you can’t lose either way. Hahah

  • @سردينة
    @سردينة 8 місяців тому +3

    It’s because I kept a secret from my past and not telling him and now I hate myself for it I hurt him so bad I can’t forget myself

    • @Pizzarolls--fw5cd
      @Pizzarolls--fw5cd 6 місяців тому

      I feel you I did the same I kept something from my past even tho it was nothing big I kept it a secret and she was going to find out so I told her the truth and I lost her trust 😢

  • @itisharaghu9857
    @itisharaghu9857 8 місяців тому

    Thank you, Ms Winter you’re really helpful. I think, I’ll come back to this definitely. I was scared to click on this but I’ve finally found some answers to my agony. Looking forward to a better me.

  • @wildinourways
    @wildinourways 8 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for this. Feeling so much guilt right now. Really missing her.

  • @mlantieri
    @mlantieri Рік тому +1

    Hi lovely Susan😘. Another eye opener for changing behavior is to ask your very best friend what they like and DISLIKE about you, then work on those things with humility. Big hugs to Nikka🐶🐶🥰!!

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  Рік тому

      Love that! That’s excellent advice Mark. And thank you. Nikka is lying here right now in my TV tray which she is convinced is her bed. Pause up. On her back. A big bundle of white fur.

  • @aidanmohrman9493
    @aidanmohrman9493 8 місяців тому +6

    I’m in the same situation. Only I caused the breakup once before and it was the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I found all my flaws, addressed them, and even improved. We got back together and life felt complete. Soon after I fell back into my old patterns and now she left me again. I could have done so much better and should have been in therapy along with dating her. I would do absolutely anything to be back with her and the warm weather is here that we made plans for all winter. My heart aches so badly and I feel so lonely. I will never find a partner as good as she was. I don’t know what to do.

    • @samtazi
      @samtazi 6 місяців тому

      How long you've been broken up the first time?

    • @aidanmohrman9493
      @aidanmohrman9493 6 місяців тому

      @@samtazi 2 months. Then by a legitimate miracle, I drove to her new college campus 3 hours away to find her (with 80k students) and walked around for about an hour and found her. We talked and then a week later started seeing eachother again. It was insane, I followed signs from the universe or god or whoever and they led me to her. Then a few moths later my shitty patterns comtinued and we split. This time likely for good.

    • @Msyztik
      @Msyztik 4 місяці тому

      I’m going through similar thing, we dated all winter & when summer hit we broke up…can’t help but think of all the good times we were going to have. Hang in there bro, if you learn something from it use it for next one..what I try to tell myself..how u doing now?

    • @Motiv8Grow
      @Motiv8Grow Місяць тому

      It’s awful knowing you found the one and poor decisions and complacency drives them away for good. Allows them to find a replacement and you never get to hold them the same way ever again

  • @lala-lj5uf
    @lala-lj5uf 9 місяців тому +2

    susan but his friends already hate me and i still feel deep remorse for what i did, just trying to better myself as well now

  • @belle7437
    @belle7437 5 місяців тому +2

    I initiated the break up but never was confident to actually do it. The reason why is because I wasn’t getting the girlfriend treatment. It felt like I was settling for less. I also want to grow with him but he remains stagnant and when I try to push him to strive for more, he discarded them and says I’m being manipulative.
    I got too pushy but also I want him to see his worth as a person and how much value he has but he never recognizes them. I love him and treated him well yet it felt like it was my fault for asking for more from him.
    My friends and family said it wasn’t my fault that I laid out all my needs, but part of me thinks I was not fair to set him for too much expectations.
    He broke up with through text while I was at work. He didn’t bother to call, so I had to step outside to talk to him but I can’t really say much because I wasn’t in the right place. I was hoping we would talk by the time I get off but he went cold turkey. Still nothing from him. I’m suffering from pain every day I wake up. Three days in now. I just wish he would talk to me.

    • @evilfantasy2981
      @evilfantasy2981 Місяць тому

      What happened now? How's it going

    • @belle7437
      @belle7437 Місяць тому +1

      @ Found out he was already seeing someone closer to him within two weeks post break-up. Good riddance. I’m happier without him.

  • @jessicalong6011
    @jessicalong6011 2 місяці тому

    Thank you so much ❤❤❤

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +9

    We are all the common denominator.
    Accepting ownership is emotional maturity.

  • @Lilly77711
    @Lilly77711 Рік тому

    Hey susan i had a break up before four years, i was disrespectful but she also had some mistakes from her side. Now after four years i couldn't stop talking with her so i called her and she spoke to me well but she is giving mixed signals. Still now she didn't accept to meet me but she is bit curious to meet. What should i do? Does this work shall i try or drop it ?

  • @CoconutwCoco
    @CoconutwCoco Рік тому

    in which video she talks abt on the table negotiation?

  • @Astrology_Witch_DJ_Lifestyle
    @Astrology_Witch_DJ_Lifestyle Місяць тому

    Thankyou, your probably right, that he wasn't faultless, as we only argued about one thing and it was him copying my business and I didn't understand it, I've had this buisness for around 15 years and never had a partner do this ??
    We were such a quirky happy couple but this was the only thing that we argued about. ONLY thing .
    ... But it's the way I make money in this world, how dare he try steal it ??
    ... I think I do need to forgive myself.
    .... Thankyou...
    It's just that we've been all over the UK looking for houses together,
    Planned to have children ect...
    .... Just so many positive plans...
    .... Maybe it'll be hard for him to forget that ... ?

  • @SphiweMotsoene
    @SphiweMotsoene Рік тому

    I Really needed to hear this, THank you so much for this