When Helping Hurts: Is Being an Empath a Recipe for Burnout?
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- #neurodivergent #burnout #kindnessmatters #satisfying
Cammy has now had her feeding tube a couple of months and has started to feel better in a lot of ways now that her body is getting better nutrition, but she still has a lot of other comorbid medical conditions that she and her doctors are trying to sort out and treat, so the challenges for her and her family are ongoing. She is an incredible example of having a good attitude despite her circumstances and she has a lot of wisdom to share from the experiences she has been through. I appreciate the time I have been able to spend helping her get her home back in order. However, I have such a hard time prioritizing my own well-being when I see others struggling. It feels wrong not to help, but I simply reached a breaking point that has been coming on for months now after neglecting my own physical and mental health by pushing through my burnout and not taking enough time to recharge, so I recently had to take a complete break from UA-cam and figure out how to continue my channel in a healthier manner by setting some boundaries, so while much of this video is about helping Cammy and her family, it is also about some of the ways I will be doing things differently in order to take care of my mental health and other life priorities in a better way.
Check out this Shinedown song I mentioned in the video..."A Symptom of Being Human": • Shinedown - A Symptom ...
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Thank you friends/Beautiful Messers for your support and kindness as I try to spread a little positivity through my channel. Thank you also for your understanding my need to set some boundaries on how I interact with my community as mentioned at the end of this video. I love reading your comments and try to read as many as possible. To increase the chance that I will see your comment, please leave a ❤emoji somewhere in your comment as I will be filtering them by searching that out after I have responded to channel members and SuperThanks donations. I really appreciate you all and I'm glad you are part of this community!🥰
You can try it. But an obvious flaw, is everybody and their mother is just going to put a ❤💖 with their comment.😄 But for sure, give it a try. (We Love ya Bonnie)
@@edwardschwenk3100 but not people who leave negative comments 😊 x
Wow, I don't know how you kept the laundry organized. Thank you for doing that for me. I'm so grateful!
I think Bonnie is a laundry wizard! Absolutely incredible.
I feel your pain. ❤️🙏🙏🏼
I can never stop praising you for helping those in need. I wish there were more people out there like you.
I don’t think you should think of it as viewers not choosing you, such as Mac’s subscribers, because not ALL of his fans watch every single video, and I’m guessing 1/2 of the views are repeat ones. You are unique and have a kind heart and organize like no one! You nailed it when you said you have to sometimes step back and focus on finding things to be grateful for, no matter how small. You inspire me and thousands of others to be better people, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing your videos and showing us how we can make life easier and tidier and being more empathetic towards our fellow human beings. 🙏💕
Yes.
I agree! Just take your time, Bonnie & heal! I love what you do for others, but you need to take care of yourself first! Thanks for being real & explaining everything, but you didn't have to! We all understand! The best to you & your family! Love & Hugs! ♥️😉🫂🦋🍄✏️📓🧶🪡🧵🍁🧙♀️🎃✨️
Absolutely 🎉 I watch Mac because I've come to love his quirky humor and presentation style. But i watch you, Bonnie, for totally different reasons. You can't compare yourself to Mac at all. You're different types of content creators... and this is not one size fits all. I did come here and subscribed because Mac mentioned you and fell in love with your insight and heart. Not everyone who watches Mac will share those same views. Keep being YOU, Bonnie. Those who truly love and appreciate your videos will keep coming back.... and I am lucky enough to be one of those. ❤❤❤
❤ love your folding techniques! You are such a kind and caring person. Take care of yourself.
Just keep sharing your own story. If there's a collab in the future then great! If there are other collabs with other cleaners (like Coline or Fife for instance) via a livestream where you join in together but from your own homes (don't ask me how you do this 😁 all I know is I've seen it done with 5/6 people ) that could be some great conversation! ♥ ETA: an example if you search 'A Royal Mess 43' for instance on YT (please excuse the trash I used to watch!) but this kind of format?
It’s so amazing that you can help this family that’s having such health issues. The costume her daughter did was amazing,she is very talented.❤❤
I think helping someone clean their house is so amazing but taking on the added responsibility of doing their laundry in above and beyond.
❤ Bonnie, know that you are loved!! 🎉
That ladies daughter could get a career on film sets making costumes…she’s amazing!😊
She's here! The Cammy of the Opera! 🎶 🎵 Love that you're back helping her and her family. 🧡🧡
No need to reply 👻
Love your channel Bonnie - I agree, your laundry folding is quite satisfying. I haven’t seen anyone do that quite like you do. I like your voice over to explain what is happening, how you feel & I like how open you are. Feels like you are my friend. Big hug to you 😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Aww, thanks! I’ll take that big hug.❤😊
Another great clean. Take care of yourself Bonnie. No reply needed x
I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and burn out. You don’t think you ever get over burn out. When your system gets overloaded, the burn out takes over and I hit bottom again. I get hurt so easily and feel everything with super sensitivity 😢
Mary- Sorry you struggle with these things. Sending you a hug. ❤
Loved ❤️ this one Bonnie, who knew watching you fold laundry could be so therapeutic! You have such a calming voice too. Be kind to yourself, you are amazing
Bonnie, you are INSANELY good at folding sheets! I was mesmerized! 😀
I admire you so much because of your empathy, kindness, energy, and stamina. You are wise to know when to pull back and take a mental health timeout. Learning to say no, is not a negative thing when you need to protect yourself. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and you will feel free and lighter.❤
Bonnie such a beautiful gift to cami❤
I am so overwhelmed just watching this, I don’t like chit chat when I’m cleaning as well. Thanks for helping these people.
My prayers are sent your way today for restored health and JOY!
Bonnie, you have such a beautiful kind and loving heart ♥️. Please take it easy on yourself. I know that’s easy to say but I truly understand. You are a lovely and caring lady, wife, Mother and friend. This is the biggest accomplishment in life. I’m 70 yrs. old & have had an interesting, great, tragic life, so I know these things.
Bless your heart ♥️ dear one and please know I think of you so often. I send you lots of love from B.C. Canada 🇨🇦
You are not just a cleaner you are a hell of an organizer I love watching your channel for that reason
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
You deserve all of the hearts for everything you do!
Agreed!
Bonnie, I'm so happy to see ur prioritizing ur mental health. As women, we can't help anyone else bfor we help ourselves. Like on a airplane, put ur mask on bfor ur child's. Also, burn out is a real thing. I realized that after my dad passed away suddenly. I went into go mode, took care of my mom & property we have, put my apt on the back burner & 10yrs later I hit a wall. I also felt like my brother & mom were taking advantage of my services/kindness. What's funny is, u can see the big difference now after I've literally stepped away. Alot of things have gone to pot. I'm actually in the process of decluttering my own apt now & I can't tell u how liberating it is & making my life so much easier. I to have many health issues & physical issues, but one thing I can say for sure...I've NEVER let it stop me to allow my environment to get out of control. Thank the Lord!🙏
I love the perfect little packs of laundry !
I've never seen such masterful laundry folding! Your Oregon Viewer. ❤
I would love to see another video of you folding laundry. I was totally mesmerize by the way you folded the sheets and blankets. I want to do that myself, the way you did it, but i'm going to have to watch it a couple of times. Thank you!
This is an older video she did showing her folding techniques.
ua-cam.com/video/OIHJj9HYMuE/v-deo.html
You’re extremely good at folding laundry!❤❤
Set boundaries for yourself! As a massage therapist I could work 60 hours a week, but I can’t be everything to everyone so I have set hours. Treat your UA-cam work the same. Set times and boundaries!❤
❤ take care of yourself. I personally have physical health problems. I have to pace myself when I'm doing housework.
Camy is a wonderful person with wonderful advice.
Your folding is beyond superb !! 😁💐❤
Thank you so much 😊
Comparison is the thief of joy and you deserve all the joy. Take care Bonnie ! ❤
You are such a beautiful soul! Take care of yourself so that you can help others, including your family. No one should expect you to harm yourself in the process of doing good for someone else. We love you! ❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much, Lorna. Your support means the world!
Well said!!
I think you are the only cleaning youtuber that does laundry and I love it, so satisfying.
There you go again doing laundry. My favorite part of your cleaning every clean channel has tons of laundry that I know never gets done. You finish the job. What a good person you are.
Bonnie, you are a saint for doing all of that laundry. You do great work, don’t listen to the negative comments, you don’t deserve them! ❤❤❤
❤ My sincerest prayers for you and your family. Please do take care of yourself and your family! Your heart to help others needs protection and you are wise to institute that. People do tend to take advantage if the boundaries are not firm. Much love dear Bonnie!
❤ Thank you for all you do! You are an amazing person that deserves herself to be taken care of! We look forward to whatever journeys you share with us!
Cammy is amazing! She take responsibility for her home.Willing 2 help clean it,& has amazing advice.❤
You are gonna make me cry! 💕
Bonnie I love watching your videos! You inspire me and make me appreciate how lucky your clients are to have such a compassionate person helping them. I’m sending healing energies and prayers to you so you can learn what boundaries you need to set for yourself and more importantly how to stick to them! When you enjoy helping others by using your time and talents, it’s hard to just shut it off without feeling guilty. I’ve had a hard time remembering to give to myself so I can refill my giving reserves. And please don’t feel guilty about not being able to respond to everyone. I know that is time and energy consuming and I’m sure others do too! Much love and many blessings to you! ❤
Keep putting yourself first ❤
You are great at what you’re doing and you can make your own rules!!!
I love that you are taking steps to take care of yourself! The amount of laundry was mindblowing. ❤️❤️❤️
I'm one of the person's that Mac had suggested your channel and I love watching/listening to your channel! Don't let the negative nellys get you down. There's always someone who feels they have to spread negativity. You're a great person who likes to help others and empathize. It's very soothing. You just keep doing what you can, but take care of yourself and your family first. 🙂🥰❤️❤️❤️
You are such a beautiful human, inside and out. Thank you for all you do to help others. And I absolutely LOVE your folding!! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, Cindy! Your support means everything. 🙏
You are a good person. I really love your content, your personality, your joy, your strength, your kindness etc you are a blessing ❤
Bonnie I really hope that your channel grows. I really enjoy watching you clean. I know it’s frustrating and overwhelming but sometimes we have to take a break. I used to clean my church until I got sick with my heart and I get it. On your subscribers it takes time to grow. Just be patient I know it’s difficult financially for all of us. Maybe you can get some to be patrons and some cleaning products sponsor you. I’ll be praying for this.❤❤❤❤
Just remember you have friends that watch.It's the channel, but we're there for you when you need to talk.Enjoy your channel and wawa awhile under this episode
No reply needed. You are amazing and those of us that are genuine subscribers are here because you have touched our hearts and we care that you are okay. Please feel loved and supported. ❤❤❤❤.
❤so glad to hear your voice. Life is a constant opportunity to learn, and you are bravely showing just how to do that. The more you choose what is good for you, the more strength you will have to share with others. ❤
I'm so glad you're back, Bonnie!😊
Great video, Bonnie. You are an amazing human being. 💕
Really appreciate you being an example of self love and care ❤❤
So happy for Cami abd her family. You blessed them all. Well done❤
OMGOSH! I was at the same concert! Same area as her, too. I went to see Spiritbox, cuz they're my favorite, but my husband loves Shinedown.❤
I love watching your videos, and I understand your moments of feeling overwhelmed and the burnout. You being raw and authentic is my favorite thing about your channel ❤❤
No way! That's amazing that we were at the same concert! I went for Shinedown, but was surprised how much I liked Papa Roach, too. They are now one of my favorites as well. Thanks for sharing!
You ladies have amazing taste.
Praying for you sweet Bonnie.
You are one of my favorite UA-camrs, your character and your content ❤ I love laundry and organization so I am right with you there! Don´t worry, be happy 🎶😊💞
I truly appreciate your support!
Dear Bonnie, I wish you all the best! You don`t need to respond to all of the comments - we (your supportive community) will watch your videos anyway ♥ God bless you!
❤ Bonnie, first you're human, and we all have times we feel overwhelmed, and it's okay! Your plate is full, and it's okay to push it away and walk away for a while. The most important thing is you take care of yourself first and foremost, please! As for you not acquiring more subscribers and achieving the same status as Mack is because, as you know, you two are very different people and how you do things. Please don't compare yourself to anyone else, you are a unique individual with some amazing gualities. I love watching you fold sheets, especially!
❤ Take care of yourself.❤
Please don't think that half a million Mac viewers have seen you and rejected you. Most may not be aware of you or don't watch every video. I really love your channel and while I know there's other cleaning channels and I've seen them and they're amazing, you and Mac are my favorite so the only 2 I will watch more, but still don't watch every video. I'm a caregiver and have a ton on my plate and other interests/videos I watch. I love that you integrate people's stories more because I love that aspect. Please take care and I'm glad you're back.❤
That shinedown song is amazing. My favorite of all time is Burning Bright. It moves me to tears everytime i hear it. Take care of yourself Bonnie...your mental health is important❤ you're a wonderful person and the things you do sre life changing. But twke care of your needs firsr and never feel bad for having to step back and take a break from helping others.
Hugs and love, you are a wonderful person and need to put yourself first.
Wow❗️ Impressive, Bonnie❣️ Also entertaining and informative, of course. Thanks for telling it like it is and tending to your own very important metal health. I appreciate your efforts. They have helped so many people. 💖
❤Bonnie you really are a very special person. You and Cammy are in my thoughts and prayers!❤
My son had a feeding tube just like Cammy's for about 5 years.
If it makes you feel better, I subscribed because of Mack's video. I love your compassion. ❤
I appreciate that!
I love how honest you are about your feelings ❤
I love you and your channel Bonnie! I share it every time I watch it! I hope you take all the time you need to restore your well being and feel better soon! Awesome video !
🧡Thank you for your Service to those in need!!! 🥰
I found you through Mack as well. ❤ even though I have adhd, or maybe because I have adhd- I can’t listen to really chatty neurodivergents, maybe on a good day when my only focus is conversation. Not driving simultaneously, etc. I just can’t. On a bad day when I am needing to focus, any conversation feels overly taxing. That laundry pile would put most people over the edge ❤
That after shot of the laundry was so satisfying! I'm currently folding a mountain of laundry and this was exactly what I needed! 😊❤
Mount Washmore!
I am happy you are feeling better.💜I never need you to answer. Take care.
Thank you for the video 😊 i also went through a burn lut and needed a half year break from work. Now i am taking depression and anxiety medicine and feel much better
You are such an amazing organizer! I think you have a great channel. I agree with you about the fact that you are empathic. It is a blessing and a curse. It makes you great at what you do but also you absorb everybody's stuff! The problem is that you can not turn it off. Also, in the case of people like Camie, they do not come with a sign that says "I suffer from hording disorder " or "I have a number of mental health problems". So when you interact with them, you pick up all of their mental health issues even more than other people because your nature is to be empathetic and you have no warning that this will happen to you. Maybe you could try doing some more videos where the person is not there. This is a tricky situation and my heart does go out to you. Know that many of us are here to support you no matter how your channel develops!!
I like to think that as far as mental health issues, I have depression related to my health condition and adhd, but luckily nothing like narcissistic tendencies. Just squelched extroversion, reduced physical capacity, and anxiety from cabinets fever. Hoards can happen without hoarding disorder, but what makes or breaks hoarding disorder is how much we cling to our unnecessary items and how much we refuse to see the mess for what it is. If I let it go any longer, it absolutely would be hoarding disorder. Whether or not it is, regardless, no mess happens like this if everything is great, hoarding disorder or not and something had to be done. I hate mess. I hate clutter. It’s been absolutely claustrophobic and then when I got sick, there was no escape from it. If we wanted to be physically or mentally better, we absolutely need a better environment. Eventually that environment becomes mental health issue. The mess comes for lots of different reasons, but what spurs our reactions tells us a lot. In this case, I couldn’t stand the mess a single new day without doing something about it. Especially because I love my kids.
Bonnie, this is all about HUMANITY, and you are the BEST of it. I love you.-Cammy ❤
Awww...I'm so thankful for your example of being a good human. I really meant what I said...I LOVE talking with you! I wish you had been one of the first people I helped so that I wasn't already in the middle of burnout and had more energy and mental capacity to help. You got a subpar version of me that had already been worn down before even starting on your home, but I hope I can regain some of that and come back to help you some more. You are incredible!
❤ I’m so glad you’re making some changes to support yourself emotionally and financially. I watch a lot of cleaning videos and you are one of the only ones that I don’t speed up to 2x speed, because I love your narrations. Don’t be afraid to make more changes to support your wellbeing ❤
Same here! The narrative is the best part for me.
I love the song "Symptom of Being Human" too. It's a very real song. It's so Important for you to make sure you're taking care of yourself (and your family). Hopefully I'll be in a position soon to be able to join and be able to help your channel out. Until then, I'll keep you in my prayers. I understand the weight of taking in everyone else's feelings as an empath. ❤❤❤
SO happy to see you ❤
❤❤❤❤ love to you Bonnie! You do what you need to do.
Glad you have taken time to determine what you need in the work arrangement and are creating the structure that you need. Empathic people can accidentally be taken for granted or taken advantage of. It feels good for the empath and for the person receiving the attention. No one means for it to happen, but it can. You are the CEO of your business so you get to make the rules. The communication up front around how the work will proceed - what you will give AND what the other party is responsible for - goes a really long way. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for being real, you are the best! Take care of you ❤
Right! It’s the best kind of reality. Positive vulnerability as a person doing good.
❤ You are the Empress of folding!!!❤
Yeah. You are human and need to take care of yourself. I enjoy your videos and chats a lot. Thank you for song recommendation. ❤
❤ I am so sorry you have had such struggles with UA-cam, hateful comments from trolls, and work/life balancing. You are a lovely, kind person who certainly has the gift for organizing and cleaning. I find you both motivating and relaxing at the same time. I finally learned how to fold a fitted sheet from watching you. 🥰
Please take care of YOU, however you feel these next steps should be. You are greatly appreciated and loved. ❤
And the song is great.
Bonnie, I’m sorry you are having such difficulty. I just want to say, I didn’t come from Mac’s channel. My first video was the one where you cleaned the kitchen of an elderly gentleman where the floors were black. That hooked me. Give yourself grace and listen to your inner self in regard to your health. I’m glad you are back. I was really sad when you said you were leaving UA-cam.
Take care Bonnie, I love the work you do!
Shinedown is amazing live. Missed that tour but I've seen them twice in concert. One of my absolute faves also.❤
Great video. One of these days, when I start Fall cleaning, I am going to rewatch your folding video. My linen closet needs a makeover. ❤❤❤
Cammie does give amazing advice. ❤ Her daughter is so talented. She could definitely go into coatume making for movies, plays or musicals. Always love watching you fold laundry as well. ❤
You’re awesome Bonnie!!! ❤❤❤
Your videos are some of my favourites on UA-cam ❤
I hope doing some paid work helps you find a good balance. You deserve all the good things in life
Thanks a ton! That really means a lot.
Cammy, you got it right lol @19:32
It's hard with ADHD, depression and other neurodivergences but setting up patterns or routines helps for a lot of folks like us.
I understand the not being able to focus when people are yammering on at me. I physically feel braced like when you get ready to be punched in the stomach. And when they leave, or stop talking, I can exhale and breath and relax again. The only way around this is to just stop what I'm doing and focus on them. But that's not always possible, like at work, etc. The constant interruptions make is hard to go back and start working again, as I lose my place, my thought, my momentum. It's very frustrating so I prefer not to be around people at all when I work.
No reply EVER needed or expected, but I just wanted to say how much I love (❤❤❤❤❤❤) your boundaries! Go,Bonnie, go!!
Beautiful music. Thanks... Love your channel.❤
Thank you for the great video. Loved your voice over. Sound so you, natural. Real. ❣️
You’re awesome Bonnie!!!
Thanks so much for sharing! I also want to thank you Bonnie, for teaching me to folding the laundry and blankets in "small" packets! 😊 I love it! Do take care 💞🤗
❤❤❤ I really enjoyed this video Bonnie, for a few reasons… firstly for your honesty and trust in us to be comfortable in sharing your experiences. Secondly for continuing to help Cammy and her family in your selfless and generous way. Thirdly for finding a way to continue with your channel, I have learned so much about “the human condition” and about the struggles that ordinary people go through from you. And finally for all that laundry at the end, what a thing of beauty that was! Given how much you enjoy laundry would there be any merit in taking on some paid laundry work? (You don’t have to reply, it’s just a thought!) You are loved, you are wonderful but please continue to look after yourself first and foremost. ❤️😘❤️
I’m sorry that things have been so overwhelming and that you didn’t meet the goals you had put out for yourself. I think you are for everyone and I’ve been really happy to watch you grow and continue to develop. You’re a kind and caring person and there’s so much appreciation for you and the things you do. Please take care of yourself and try to keep your head up! ❤
Oh bless you Bonnie! I have set my phone so that it doesn't notify me, I cant stand all the pinging, it's so disturbing and throws my mind off. I only have the ping on for my nearest and dearest. Hope you manage to get yourself back on track. x
As an empath, yes, burnout is a huge issue.
Bonnie you have such a good ❤ . Surprised your sub count hasnt grown higher, i love your videos! Always makes my day when Bonnie drops a video. I totally understand getting overwhelmed, i get way and Im not trying to keep up a channel. Take care of you!
I’m truly grateful for your encouragement! It's subscribers like you that motivate me to keep going, even when things get overwhelming. Thank you for being so awesome!
Super Cammy! 🤗 You have great taste in music, and in cartoons- I saw the Gir shirt! 😆 So very proud of you. Hugs and prayers for you and your whole family.