I am a narcissist survivor and have come a long way. I have realized that I attracted narcs because my self worth was on the floor. But now I have worked on my self, meditated , taken a spiritual journey and have healed a lot. I can now look back and thank all the narcs in my life for all the things they have done to me. Or else I would have never realized how worthy I am , and would have never tasted the empowerment the freedom and joy that accompanies this state of self realization. No body wants to go on a spiritual journey unless it's so painful that you can't take one step more. Under cool circumstance we all prefer to chill out and watch Netflix. But that kind of pain and pressure can be delivered only by narcs. I thank them. I have healed You all can heal as well and start enjoying life back again. Wishing you all good luck.
Yes.I mirror& have drawn strength from their(false/placebo)good side to lift my life back up,while desperately putting tremendous efforts to leave the bad.Avoiding them,stops you from subconsciously picking up their aggressive toxic DEMONIC style.
Oh my gosh THIS. I used to think the "good times" were proof that he had good in him and that we could theoretically have a healthy relationship again. So when the rollercoaster went up, I would get this huge explosion of happy brain chemicals, thinking this time it wouldn't get ruined. But every time it would go straight back to hell and I'd end up being punished without even having a clue what went wrong. I've always been a strong person and truly believed I could take the good and ignore the bad and remain unscathed - which actually was part of what kept me trapped for so long!! My own narcissism and psychopathy... thinking I was special and strong enough to be the one who survived and never abandoned him. It wasn't until God called me out on my own pride that I was able to start seeing things as they actually were. And mannnn it's so hard to choose to face reality when reality means excruciating pain. But at least moving forward, there is hope for healing instead of the endless cycle of destruction. We used love songs as our "love language." Music is my passion. Needless to say, I'm triggered often. I'll be at a Wawa and I'll hear a song and it'll wreck my whole day with false hope by pulling me back into the fantasy. I know this is controversial, but my faith in God is what keeps me grounded in reality. He's my anchor to the truth. Oops ADD tangent!! ✌🏻😅
@@CrazyCatLady99 Do whatever it takes to return to OUR OLDSELVES, while incorporating QUALITY, positive, uplifting,fun activities,that will consume our thoughts,to the point,the narc will be history. We got the knowledge & we know the rules,moving forward,is key.Its weird,different,but each day,with NO CONTACT, &new thing's to do that preoccupy our time, it gets better❤️🤗👌.
Literally, the narcs in my life make everything from my IBS to my allergies and other health issues worse. My immune system practically shuts down after their attacks. Am dealing with the situation, now that I know more about it.
I've been no contact for over 3yrs. I still feel dead on the inside and grieve for a time when i was me and happy. I remember Sam Vaknin saying you can end up grieving for your lost self forever 😢
@@lisaharper4312 sounds a bummer. I'm glad you are here if it helps. You're sharing that's another bonus. And at base level weon't need money in a meter or need work out tax on or for oxygen. (yet) Jesus won't hate you for living your own life. Just love God and love Man. Bless ya, be well.
Its been 4 years and I am just now coming out of it. Wow, everthing you say is true and there's a lot to learn in the comments as well. Thabk you for your insights.
I struggled with this growing up with a narcissist father. Basically ruined the first 30 years of my life, wouldn’t salvage any of it. I didn’t START to feel somewhat normal until about 6 months after I cut off him and the rest of my family, and the people I knew from that life. Got rid of social media, only kept a few of my good friends, moved away.
Thank you, Richard. Good insight! And then, after they've groomed you into going along with their subjective way of seeing the world, you feel guilty for going against YOUR intuition, and starved of what's life giving to you! Until you realize you're gasping for air and make your escape.
I absolutely love Richard! He really really knows what he's talking about and as I am actively always dealing with a narc trying to "co-parent" I find his advice and his knowledge the most insightful on UA-cam BY FAR!
I don’t see much talk on narcissists who obsess over a particular ethnicity and if you don’t match that ethnicity you are not attractive/not worthy of their love no matter your relationship or what other people say
I knew I'd remember as soon as I hit send!😂 So, my current counselor, I've been in couseling since 2007 and I've had 2 counselors, advised I come to a place of acceptance rather than avoidance. No-contact (9 months) feels immature (among family) and I want to rise above it to have some interaction for family sake BUT...yeah I like the peace that no contact gives though it doesn't feel right and I'm more afraid of the attacks headed my way if I were to break the silence so I feel like immaturity is my best course of action right now. I guess overall I feel more like I'm suspended in self-preservation mode rather than developing and flourishing as I should.
Just bought the course Richard. A touch fast for new people but absolutely amazing. Right to the root causes of everything allowing true healing. I'm extremely grateful for the work you do. This will be life changing. Thank you.
Hey man I just wanted to thank you for making this channel, you really helped me in my personal life. I thought I could return the favor by suggesting a reaction vid on 3 specific songs: 'False Prophets' (J. Cole), 'Wolf in Sheeps Clothing' (Set it Off), 'Enemies' (Post Malone( I would be interested in your perspective in relation to feelings towards a narcissist.
Yes, I adapted by getting some narcissist type traits. I became totally self absorbed, devoted to Me, focused on My values. The difference is, I don't target, don't sap the life out anyone, and my values benefit humanity. I am selfish with Myself. So, this is superficially narcissistic, foundationally the opposite. And if anyone calls Me a narcissist - fine. They must no contact.
Being totally selfish can hurt others that love you, it takes compromise and understanding to have a good relationship, sounds like you could have some strong narc traits though
Was all of the amazing love I was feeling "from him" really just coming out of me? Damn, I can love! If I wasn't a year and a half out, and still healing, I'd think that sounded narcisscistic, but I believe I'm getting healthier, albeit incrementally. Wish I didn't still miss him.
This post relates to your thesis, that we have the desire to reach the perfect matrix within the womb. I do not believe that the matrix in the womb is necessarily perfect or ideal or even safe, because in reality one is swimming in the mother’s energetic soup and experiences, which might be intense. In my case my mother was very upset and depressed to be pregnant once more. As a result she made several attempts to abort me with the use of knitting needles. I had overheard a conversation she had with a friend. She confessed, when I confronted her. She was only in labor with me for two hours. In other words I tried to get out of that place asap!!
Do you have any advice/video on a situation where you have a child with a narcissist that controls the other patent emotionally and how to deal with this very difficult position/situation because you're in a situation where you have to co-parent so you never really get away from the narcissist you've always going to have contact with them
Dunno, but be alert to being labelled hostile with other parent which in turn will be used to argue that "yourv hostility (if you disagree, already you are revealing evidence of being oppositional. See how this works;) is unsettling the children and your contact is disruptive. Toxic is a word to not allow currency. Good luck, stay honest, keep evidence and a diary. Love your kids. Message them every day.. In your diary if need be. Most of all be honest with them. Be well ;)
Yeah, don't take the baits your partner dangles. End of the day they are being used as emmotionally instruments to facilitate structure for an other or others.
I've been battling my husband for the last 5 years he's very narcissistic and has so many macks i can't get away from him because I stayed home for 23 years now I'm not good enough he plays single he doesn't want me or let anyone make me happy
Beyond knowing I used them to heal myself. Amazing what one learns about themselves by truely understanding natures true intentions for relationships. Can blame and shame others or work to understand them and why you attracted them into your life. Psychology is so behind natures ever evolving human psychology/programing.
i am a fearful avoidant, my mother is a covert narcissist. i have accussed my partner and gotten angry at him and blamed him whenever i felt inferior, UNFAIRLY the way my mother used to do to me. my biggest fear is becoming like either of my parents. a part of me feels doomed to become like them bcs as a child i was told day in and out that i am defined by my parents and they are both narcissits, one covert and the other general. they are terrible people and i just dont want to be like them, any advice ?
To me it feels like they are a parasite who took my authentic self and captured it and is holding it ransom for a price I cannot afford to pay. My authentic self is petrified, in a pod and the narc is feeding off its dimming life supply. I am left with an infected version of my unhealed self where I cannot stand to exist any longer. You are saying my authentic self was not stolen? That it is alive and well within me? How in the world do I access it, rescue?
the introject corresponds with a somatic holding as well tho. and more than somatic, it lives on an energy body level, generally in the lower gut region. I think people need more shamanic/multidimensional approaches. I went to your site today to check out your courses and saw cheesy salesy stuff like countdown timers and boomer sales fakery. this is not the vibe of a Guru. Love.
I'd like to know more about the energy body. What is this introject? A label of what exactly? Since my separation, I am experiencing long term gut issues, which after 4 months are slowly improving and becoming less frequent. Energy is everything. Thank you
2 points- so you have npd? At 3:30 you said "the mirroring that takes place between US and the target..." Very intriguing, not sure I can understand a person with npd who does what you do to help others. I'll have to comment again when I remember the 2nd point I was going to make 😅 forgot! 😂
Hhh yeah i am and fell so great after dvorce i fell i am difrent ....and i fell i am more cold just dont give f..ck a about others i turn alll etention to my self and my dochter
I knowingly mirror the narc traits they use on me. Once they use the trait on me, it opens the door to me using it on them. My favorite narc trait to mirror is the silent treatment. They use it to manipulate and punish. I use it to close the door permanently. It’s like a never ending silent treatment. The community calls this “no contact.” The narcissist called this “hell on earth.” That’s what they get.
This comment comes from someone who has dealt with the receiving end of NPD for over thirty years with the same individual, and still going... I have watched some of your videos over the years, and you continue to fail to touch upon the main reason NPD exists. You have figured out the behaviours so well, and how to defend yourself from such behaviours... but you have never explained in any truth the reason NPD is NPD. I suspect you may have come across the reason, but you pass it off as silly or delusional. NPD is caused by unclean spirits. To be specific. Demons. Unclean spirits. Not fallen angels. These people have a nasty unclean and deceiving spirit. OR many of them. This particular topic, this video, is connected to this. For if you are the victim, and you continue to experience the "abuse", as if you are haunted, or find yourself doing similar behaviours as your NPD abuser, this is all because the unclean and deceiving spirits on the NPD have, some of them have--or new ones--have got their hands on you. You are bound, if not on the verge of being bound by them. You will be tormented continuously until you give in. There are people who speak about NPD in this context, but some of these people don't quite know what they are talking about. Its best to get the King James bible worldview to comprehend the truth and reality of these spirits who walk and dwell among us. Richard, you've come to know the behaviours of unclean and deceiving spirits. If only you could come into the truth of all this.
I grew up with a narcissist father who ruined the first 30 years of my life. But I’ll be the first to say that you internet “experts” have no clue what you’re talking about
Get the NEW course on Narcissistic Matrix: Reintegration here members.richardgrannon.com/narcissistic-matrix-reintegration-navs
Talking to a narc is like trying to make a 2 yr old understanding what you need. 😊 ???
That's exactly how it feels all the time
Sometimes a 2 year old will push their plushy toy on you. But yeah, the barc is infantile in a way that is beyond immature. It's like the NO stage .
Ohh yes
The 2 year old will understand.
That's exactly right. No wonder I'm so frustrated.
To face forward and build a fulfilling life is the best revenge.
I am a narcissist survivor and have come a long way. I have realized that I attracted narcs because my self worth was on the floor. But now I have worked on my self, meditated , taken a spiritual journey and have healed a lot. I can now look back and thank all the narcs in my life for all the things they have done to me. Or else I would have never realized how worthy I am , and would have never tasted the empowerment the freedom and joy that accompanies this state of self realization. No body wants to go on a spiritual journey unless it's so painful that you can't take one step more. Under cool circumstance we all prefer to chill out and watch Netflix. But that kind of pain and pressure can be delivered only by narcs. I thank them. I have healed
You all can heal as well and start enjoying life back again. Wishing you all good luck.
Yes.I mirror& have drawn strength from their(false/placebo)good side to lift my life back up,while desperately putting tremendous efforts to leave the bad.Avoiding them,stops you from subconsciously picking up their aggressive toxic DEMONIC style.
Oh my gosh THIS. I used to think the "good times" were proof that he had good in him and that we could theoretically have a healthy relationship again. So when the rollercoaster went up, I would get this huge explosion of happy brain chemicals, thinking this time it wouldn't get ruined. But every time it would go straight back to hell and I'd end up being punished without even having a clue what went wrong. I've always been a strong person and truly believed I could take the good and ignore the bad and remain unscathed - which actually was part of what kept me trapped for so long!! My own narcissism and psychopathy... thinking I was special and strong enough to be the one who survived and never abandoned him. It wasn't until God called me out on my own pride that I was able to start seeing things as they actually were. And mannnn it's so hard to choose to face reality when reality means excruciating pain. But at least moving forward, there is hope for healing instead of the endless cycle of destruction.
We used love songs as our "love language." Music is my passion. Needless to say, I'm triggered often. I'll be at a Wawa and I'll hear a song and it'll wreck my whole day with false hope by pulling me back into the fantasy.
I know this is controversial, but my faith in God is what keeps me grounded in reality. He's my anchor to the truth.
Oops ADD tangent!! ✌🏻😅
@@CrazyCatLady99
Do whatever it takes to return to OUR OLDSELVES, while incorporating QUALITY, positive, uplifting,fun activities,that will consume our thoughts,to the point,the narc will be history. We got the knowledge & we know the rules,moving forward,is key.Its weird,different,but each day,with NO CONTACT, &new thing's to do that preoccupy our time, it gets better❤️🤗👌.
Pak
Literally, the narcs in my life make everything from my IBS to my allergies and other health issues worse. My immune system practically shuts down after their attacks. Am dealing with the situation, now that I know more about it.
I've been no contact for over 3yrs. I still feel dead on the inside and grieve for a time when i was me and happy. I remember Sam Vaknin saying you can end up grieving for your lost self forever 😢
Celebrate being able to watch yourself grieve for yourself. That ability to observe is your escape hatch?
@@MrMigido could be. I just want to feel like me, i liked who i was, now I'm just a very sad person with what feels like no real personality
I hope that I can get over it to and feel like me again too. I hope Sam is wrong. hugs
@@danamama6766 i hope Sam is wrong too. Hugs to you too, we got this ❤
@@lisaharper4312 sounds a bummer. I'm glad you are here if it helps. You're sharing that's another bonus. And at base level weon't need money in a meter or need work out tax on or for oxygen. (yet)
Jesus won't hate you for living your own life. Just love God and love Man.
Bless ya, be well.
Its been 4 years and I am just now coming out of it. Wow, everthing you say is true and there's a lot to learn in the comments as well. Thabk you for your insights.
I struggled with this growing up with a narcissist father. Basically ruined the first 30 years of my life, wouldn’t salvage any of it. I didn’t START to feel somewhat normal until about 6 months after I cut off him and the rest of my family, and the people I knew from that life. Got rid of social media, only kept a few of my good friends, moved away.
Thank you, Richard. Good insight! And then, after they've groomed you into going along with their subjective way of seeing the world, you feel guilty for going against YOUR intuition, and starved of what's life giving to you! Until you realize you're gasping for air and make your escape.
❤
…I remember when I came to that realization. It was a bit of shock.
I absolutely love Richard! He really really knows what he's talking about and as I am actively always dealing with a narc trying to "co-parent" I find his advice and his knowledge the most insightful on UA-cam BY FAR!
I have watched so many of your videos now there's like a mini rich in my head helping cope w this stuff, thank you mate
Brilliant mate as always
I don’t see much talk on narcissists who obsess over a particular ethnicity and if you don’t match that ethnicity you are not attractive/not worthy of their love no matter your relationship or what other people say
I knew I'd remember as soon as I hit send!😂 So, my current counselor, I've been in couseling since 2007 and I've had 2 counselors, advised I come to a place of acceptance rather than avoidance. No-contact (9 months) feels immature (among family) and I want to rise above it to have some interaction for family sake BUT...yeah I like the peace that no contact gives though it doesn't feel right and I'm more afraid of the attacks headed my way if I were to break the silence so I feel like immaturity is my best course of action right now. I guess overall I feel more like I'm suspended in self-preservation mode rather than developing and flourishing as I should.
Thanks brother.
Just bought the course Richard. A touch fast for new people but absolutely amazing. Right to the root causes of everything allowing true healing. I'm extremely grateful for the work you do. This will be life changing. Thank you.
I was very empathetic but when I woke up to narcissistic behaviour. I started judging people and now i am less empathetic because I judge people
Hey man I just wanted to thank you for making this channel, you really helped me in my personal life. I thought I could return the favor by suggesting a reaction vid on 3 specific songs: 'False Prophets' (J. Cole), 'Wolf in Sheeps Clothing' (Set it Off), 'Enemies' (Post Malone( I would be interested in your perspective in relation to feelings towards a narcissist.
Yes, I adapted by getting some narcissist type traits. I became totally self absorbed, devoted to Me, focused on My values. The difference is, I don't target, don't sap the life out anyone, and my values benefit humanity. I am selfish with Myself. So, this is superficially narcissistic, foundationally the opposite.
And if anyone calls Me a narcissist - fine. They must no contact.
Being totally selfish can hurt others that love you, it takes compromise and understanding to have a good relationship, sounds like you could have some strong narc traits though
@@Sally-ih6ls Yeah, I agree with your points and am aiming to get some balance. Thank you for your response.
@@sage9836 good for you, it’s not easy to make changes to ourselves….its even harder in the world we live in now…I understand totally
Knowingly. 🤨
What most victims don’t realize is that they ended up with them because they were love addicts so they didn’t see the red flags
Was all of the amazing love I was feeling "from him" really just coming out of me? Damn, I can love! If I wasn't a year and a half out, and still healing, I'd think that sounded narcisscistic, but I believe I'm getting healthier, albeit incrementally. Wish I didn't still miss him.
Such good point
Never would thought about it myself
Thank you very much
Thanks!
Oh my goodness! stop to be so naïve 😅
Fascinating, as always!
Im Mirroring.
great stuff
Thanks💌
Merci!!!!
This post relates to your thesis, that we have the desire to reach the perfect matrix within the womb. I do not believe that the matrix in the womb is necessarily perfect or ideal or even safe, because in reality one is swimming in the mother’s energetic soup and experiences, which might be intense. In my case my mother was very upset and depressed to be pregnant once more. As a result she made several attempts to abort me with the use of knitting needles. I had overheard a conversation she had with a friend. She confessed, when I confronted her. She was only in labor with me for two hours. In other words I tried to get out of that place asap!!
Do you have any advice/video on a situation where you have a child with a narcissist that controls the other patent emotionally and how to deal with this very difficult position/situation because you're in a situation where you have to co-parent so you never really get away from the narcissist you've always going to have contact with them
Dunno, but be alert to being labelled hostile with other parent which in turn will be used to argue that "yourv hostility (if you disagree, already you are revealing evidence of being oppositional. See how this works;) is unsettling the children and your contact is disruptive. Toxic is a word to not allow currency.
Good luck, stay honest, keep evidence and a diary. Love your kids. Message them every day.. In your diary if need be. Most of all be honest with them.
Be well
;)
Yeah, don't take the baits your partner dangles. End of the day they are being used as emmotionally instruments to facilitate structure for an other or others.
I've been battling my husband for the last 5 years he's very narcissistic and has so many macks i can't get away from him because I stayed home for 23 years now I'm not good enough he plays single he doesn't want me or let anyone make me happy
Beyond knowing I used them to heal myself. Amazing what one learns about themselves by truely understanding natures true intentions for relationships. Can blame and shame others or work to understand them and why you attracted them into your life. Psychology is so behind natures ever evolving human psychology/programing.
So TRUE! Consciousness truly is God's greatest gift! No matter how we get there!
I really, really, really detest that concept that 'we attract them.' If so, does a woman attract a rapist?
Inverse cheerleader 😂🗡️
❤
i am a fearful avoidant, my mother is a covert narcissist. i have accussed my partner and gotten angry at him and blamed him whenever i felt inferior, UNFAIRLY the way my mother used to do to me. my biggest fear is becoming like either of my parents. a part of me feels doomed to become like them bcs as a child i was told day in and out that i am defined by my parents and they are both narcissits, one covert and the other general. they are terrible people and i just dont want to be like them, any advice
?
Is it normal to experience an ego death after a relationship with a narcissist?
To me it feels like they are a parasite who took my authentic self and captured it and is holding it ransom for a price I cannot afford to pay. My authentic self is petrified, in a pod and the narc is feeding off its dimming life supply. I am left with an infected version of my unhealed self where I cannot stand to exist any longer. You are saying my authentic self was not stolen? That it is alive and well within me? How in the world do I access it, rescue?
Do you offer one-on-one coaching?
Are You Unknowingly Mirroring Narcissistic Traits?
I hope not ,
the introject corresponds with a somatic holding as well tho. and more than somatic, it lives on an energy body level, generally in the lower gut region. I think people need more shamanic/multidimensional approaches. I went to your site today to check out your courses and saw cheesy salesy stuff like countdown timers and boomer sales fakery. this is not the vibe of a Guru. Love.
I'd like to know more about the energy body. What is this introject? A label of what exactly? Since my separation, I am experiencing long term gut issues, which after 4 months are slowly improving and becoming less frequent. Energy is everything. Thank you
2 points- so you have npd? At 3:30 you said "the mirroring that takes place between US and the target..." Very intriguing, not sure I can understand a person with npd who does what you do to help others. I'll have to comment again when I remember the 2nd point I was going to make 😅 forgot! 😂
He said, "Between us >as< the target."
Not. "Us >and< the target."😊
Hhh yeah i am and fell so great
after dvorce i fell i am difrent ....and i fell i am more cold just dont give f..ck a about others i turn alll etention to my self and my dochter
I think these videos are helping me in a way that I legitimately have a crush on the author.
I knowingly mirror the narc traits they use on me. Once they use the trait on me, it opens the door to me using it on them.
My favorite narc trait to mirror is the silent treatment. They use it to manipulate and punish. I use it to close the door permanently. It’s like a never ending silent treatment. The community calls this “no contact.” The narcissist called this “hell on earth.” That’s what they get.
Richard, please return to the Russian-language channel....
Many people hope that you will come back when everything is over...
This comment comes from someone who has dealt with the receiving end of NPD for over thirty years with the same individual, and still going...
I have watched some of your videos over the years, and you continue to fail to touch upon the main reason NPD exists. You have figured out the behaviours so well, and how to defend yourself from such behaviours... but you have never explained in any truth the reason NPD is NPD. I suspect you may have come across the reason, but you pass it off as silly or delusional.
NPD is caused by unclean spirits. To be specific. Demons. Unclean spirits. Not fallen angels. These people have a nasty unclean and deceiving spirit. OR many of them.
This particular topic, this video, is connected to this. For if you are the victim, and you continue to experience the "abuse", as if you are haunted, or find yourself doing similar behaviours as your NPD abuser, this is all because the unclean and deceiving spirits on the NPD have, some of them have--or new ones--have got their hands on you. You are bound, if not on the verge of being bound by them. You will be tormented continuously until you give in.
There are people who speak about NPD in this context, but some of these people don't quite know what they are talking about. Its best to get the King James bible worldview to comprehend the truth and reality of these spirits who walk and dwell among us.
Richard, you've come to know the behaviours of unclean and deceiving spirits. If only you could come into the truth of all this.
I grew up with a narcissist father who ruined the first 30 years of my life. But I’ll be the first to say that you internet “experts” have no clue what you’re talking about