🙋♂️I am indeed happier being away from all the toxicity. After I moved alone I got to see everything from a bigger perspective and it really sucks... It's childish play but ... not in a good way I hope everyone will find their way afterall
I used to have a toxic parent but one day I decided to tell her about that and they actually listened and changed! IDK if this is pure luck or they have already changed and I haven't noticed yet
The truth is as a child you don't actually notice any of this as its the norm. It's in your 20s you start to wake up to what you've been through your entire life. But even then you're so trauma bonded to her you struggle to leave. I'm finally breaking free from her in my 30s. A shell of who I was meant to be but I still have love in me. My dog is my world and I'm going to have my own family now free of her abuse but covered in mental scars. I'm going to be the best most loving, attentive and supportive mother. I'll be nothing like her.
@@Vpdeo_duh To speak of foremost, this slant in me drives me through a conjecture which I find hard to resist. I have to tell you this that you may be quick to formulate your opinion on the matter. People do say that teenage is a a terror of recklessness. However, I do get you, or can try to. This must seem hard on you right now, but you should give it some time. The next couple of years may unfold the entirety in the obverse of it all. In case you can't help thinking the way you are believing right now, I will ask you to talk it all out with your folks, letting them know how they make you feel. And if things still do not get better, do not give up dear. Know that help is out there. You can always find it as long as you want to be saved. I will pray for your better times.
Yes, I couldn't even start saying a sentence before my mother become violent and hit me... It's amazing that the daughter in the film is so aware but I find it unrealistic.
I began to notice her toxicity when I turned 12. I was the scapegoat child. No matter what I did, I had a bad tone, a failure, bad attitude, and spoiled. The film was spot on with the complaining about the messy house, doing nothing all day, and breaking down into tears saying how no one loves her. I was the youngest of 4, and my mother treated my older brothers far better than me and my sister. My sisters relationship with my nother was a bit different. She was the hard working child who was well accomplished and desperate for our mothers affection. Being the youngest by 12 years, my mom neglected me and had my older siblings take care of me so I was never particularly attached to her. My mom turned my family against me when I was going through puberty. Sometimes I would just come down stairs and be yelled at or punished for trying to get a snack from the kitchen. I had low self esteem, I was bullied, stressed, and over weight. The only one who was remotely on my side was my dad, but ironically he had enabled my mom to continue her bad behavior It all came to a head when everyone in the house began to realize that I wasn't the problem, but rather my mother caused us to hate and resent one another. I would spend the whole day in my room in order to avoid talking to her because I was afraid of an arguement. My mother began to lose control as my older siblings (27, 26, 21) stopped feeding into her nonsense and she couldn't deal with that. She left when I was 15 and quite frankly I'm glad that this had happened. I'm literally thriving now. I'm actually able to socialize with people my age and I found out that I'm actually very extroverted. I'm healthy and people describe me as beautiful now and i work hard to maintain my appearance. I thank God everyday that she's gone because if I had to be the one to cut her off, which would've inevitably happened, I would've been the bad guy and my whole family would hate me. I still feel some resentment for the rest of my family. I tell them that we all went through a bad experience together as a family and what's most important is that we still love each other. But when I think of my older siblings being pit against me by my mother, or my father listening to my mother then I get irrationally angry. There are still deep scars and to this day and I still hold some deep underlying hatred for my family. I'm hyper competitive with my sister because of my mother's influence. I'm 16 now. My mother left February 7th 2021. There's still a lot of healing to do. But at least now I feel positive and I feel more happy than I ever have been since I was 8 years old.
Same, im 13 and I realized that she was toxic at 12. I’m literally going through the same thing. She doesn’t care, clean, or even give me food. Then she randomly starts talking about how bad my grades are when I have straight A’s, like she cares. She does nothing all day, she sits on her phone 24/7 and keeps complaining and hitting me for no reason. She’s literally ruining my life, and on top of that I have no friends, family, or people to talk to about this. I don’t think this will ever get better
Mine forced me to eat rotten food she forgot to put in the fridge. That same night I got sick and she blamed me for puking all over the bed. She was screaming her head off. I was isolated from my brothers who enabled her behaviour. I was 9. She was 42. I cannot imagine myself doing that to ANY child.
I had this EXACT same situation all but omitting a very few details. My dad knew what’s going on and would shut my mom down the minute she would start her crap. I’m in my 20s, still living at home dealing with the crap trying to save up in this economy to find myself a place. She is very narcissistic and turns everything about her and made me her scapegoat. I protected my little sister as much as I could from her wrath that she would go on if some thing wasn’t said right in the right tone or we didn’t understand something straight away after it was first explained to us (we were homeschooled).
I’m 16 too and my gosh my mom is getting to the point where we are having a civilized conversation and starts screaming at me and then I ask why did she yell at me and she says I yelled first and she feels disrespected when I literally never yelled in the first place. Yet it’s still my fault. Some days I feel like I’m gonna fall off the edge of the world but yea I do the room thing too I try to stay inside my room to my coolest abilities I hate that my sister has gone to college because now all my parents do is pick on everything I do and it’s no longer split between my sister and I
This is the same life me and my sister live.I never even realized that my mother was toxic, I was always on her side, thought everyone else was to blame for how she was treated. Took me 21 years to move with my dad and realize that she was the problem, and to see her true colors.
@@lillianne4542 you got out so young. It's brilliant. You can live your life and if you want your mum still in your life it can be on Your terms with your boundaries in place. You must stay in control. Then you can have the best of both worlds. I'm in my late 30s and my mum still controls me. I'm finally getting away now after 3 attempts that failed. Trauma bonding is so strong. You should be proud of yourself. Join clubs have hobbies. Keep busy with work friends hobbies clubs life and your mum can be someone you see when you're feeling strong and happy not when you're feeling vulnerable.
Im 25, i wanted out so long but without school for work i cant go out house, even lowly work wont help me with the cost of rent place i might stay, but im trying to get out from my toxic mother at july, she kind and have bad temprament, spouting negativity, blaming me, compare etc yet i still love her but she nvr see it
I wish I could do the same but I can't. I despise my mother so much I want to freaking strangle her to death and I already have suicidal thoughts cause I pretty much lost hope in leaving the cursed house, because just breathing the same air as her makes me feel like my heart and brain are about to explode! I'm tired of her insults, awful backward mindset, selfishness, everything.
Fabulous movie, my mother is a bit different from what is depicted here, she tries to make me feel like I could do nothing on my own and like all my opinions and tastes and feelings are wrong if they are not hers. I still can't fully believe it because of this space she keeps me in where she must always be right and if not that just means I'm not ,,enlightened'' yet. I hope to some day leave... and even more I hope that someday I won't always have to question reality the whole night, if she really is like that or if I'm just ,,coldhearted'', ,,confused by my mother'' etc.
I have the same thoughts about my mother it’s breaking me I understand you and I think I can’t I have so much pain with the thought about leave her becose she my mom and after al that pain and the scars and I know she don’t gonna change never al the self destruction is gonna stay for her life and I still can’t feel good with this I know that I should go and start my life alone
Dad doesn't care about us and mom is like that. she's always with friends on the phone and says how ungrateful we are and doesn't change a thing. being in another country, my mother stopped the language lessons and said that we don't want to learn anything anyway. little by little I notice how she really is. it was very difficult for me because she gave the impression that there was something wrong with me and I was very confused. I'm learning alone and I hope to leave here as soon as possible.
I'm 52 years old and I am finally putting the pieces together. My mother was so completely toxic growing up, she hated me and was jealous of the good relationship I had with my father. She was constantly negative and complained about me my whole life growing up. Now she's 89 and living in a retirement home and badmouthing me to all of the other residents even though I visit her regularly and have been nothing but good to her for the last 30 years. She is holding a grudge against me because I was a difficult teenager. I am very close to cutting her off. God help me. 🙏
I am sorry about your situation. I will pray you find the way out. Don't give up. Never do that. Know that I will find a purpose to smile every time you fight back the temptation to relinquish.
I rlly watched this from the beginning and am like, is that what a healthy relationship with your mom looks like? She’s actually listening, helping her with homework and giving her attention in every way. But then I watched it descend into toxicity and went like, “this is even more accurate”
I know right- if id even tried to respond, my mom would beat me up then and there and take away everything from me. Even if I just listen and stare at her, she looks at me menacingly and says “I can tell you look sad and youre not supposed to be sad so change how you feel on the inside because youre not supposed to feel it”
I relate so closely to this story. In fact, my sister is still dealing many of the issues you raise in this film. My advice to her (and to anyone else in a similar situation) is to remember that you are not the villain. Stand up for yourself and make your voice heard. Great film. Thank you for sharing!
I CAN'T even hug my mom she's in the same house with me but we never hug and she always wish that i die Im sorry i can't speak eng well but she verey toxic
Wow the things we never really noticed growing up with the toxicity and dysfunction in households. When you're in it, it seems like it's something that just happens, like normal life situations but when you're on the outside looking in & truly observing, you see everything that is completely wrong. The truth hurts, but at least you will know.
My mom is off and on. Like some days shes manipulative, telling us "dont leave me, you cant leave me." I dont think she knows how it really makes her kids, us, feel. All my siblings have left. Why? Because they couldn't handle being under the controlling roof that I now survive under. Now they're all doing drugs. I promised myself, no matter how fucked up life gets, I dont ever want to do drugs, because ive seen what they can do to a person. Tear them apart. Rip up the smallest pieces of their soul. Just yesterday we had gone to DG (dollar general) and at the checkout, my mom started talking to this woman. My mom said. "I have never hit my kids, but ive gotten crazy one or two times." I had to fucking turn away because of how disgusted i was. Don't get me wrong.. I love my mom. A part of me always will. But she denies that she ever did anything to us. I remember only fragments of my childhood, but this one time.. I was growing one of those water creatures that is really small, but when you put it in water, it grows. It was a green shark, and i had gone to check and see how big it had gotten. I brought it in the living room to show my little brother. But then all hell comes lose. I dont know why, when, or how it started, but my mom started yelling, and i got scared, so.. being like 9 or 10.. I froze. She came at me and picked me up, making the shark and the cup of water fall. I remember feeling the cold water on my feet, when it splashed. Then she threw me. I dont really care if anyone believes me or not, because ive gotten used to her denying that fact that it ever happened, even though i remember hitting the wall next to the christmas tree, next to the black leather recliner. I couldn't sit right after that. She's so wishy washy. She acts like the loving mother i know she is, but then she can turn it around in an instant. I dont want to leave her, but maybe thats because im intertwined in her web of denial and lies.
Same. Really. My mom is similar. Mind you, my older brother has never done drugs. But my mother can turn too in an instant. That’s why I want to leave. The constant walking on eggshells, the waiting for the next fight to break out... I can’t stand it anymore. It’s killing me.
I don’t know I never had any happy moments with my mother she tries everyday to poison other people ear to isolate me to scapegoat me for every wrong thing happens in house . She never cares if I have eaten something or not .she just cares how I impact her social life .I don’t know how to get out of this continuous drama .I can’t trust any women just because of how my mother is and how she betrayed my trust every time .I wish I had loving mother 😢
I am a 54 year old woman. I am in a terrific marriage and I am successful. We were able to buy a home that has an apartment so that my Mom could someday join us. Instead she continues to throw insults at me. Even saying that I think I am too good because I have money. This has been the case all my life. She has always found fault with me. Talks to everyone else on the phone except me. And when she does she is yawning. It is time that I walk away and wish her the best. I am sad but I can’t live like this any longer. Last night she told me she would rather be a “street walker” than ask me for anything.” WHAT??? 83 year old street walker? Really? So sad…….
My dad was never there for us ...so i only expected from mom ...since child I've wanted to fulfill her satisfaction by being perfect in everything but my mom never seemed happy as I grew older i realised she can never be ...always wants her way ....i wish I could tell her one day ...if she gave me a little bit of encouragement I will be going places I swear... everything half part of mine is ruined
The hardest thing when I was a teenager was trying explain to teacher that my mother has no time to even check my school diary and sign it and if I did ask her she would push me away. I actually had learn her signature and sign diary myself to avoid complications it worked. In last year I was very close to my female support assistant teacher she was like a mother I actually managed to explain what my mother was like that she never did help with homework or even looked at school diary didn’t sign it ever entire school years. I shown on a blank paper written in signature matching in dairy I did felt ashamed the teacher assistant didn’t realize it was that bad she did had idea somethings odd. It was first time I opened up to another then was very nervous she did it’s okay to speak what you’re experienced in and it’s not my fault. It was nice to have someone who didn’t think I was wrong.
I like it that you make the mother isn't straight out abusive but manipulative and toxic instead. My situation was similar to the girl. Instead of ED it's depression, and I'm suicidal. She tried to make me go to therapy (aka put me in to a psychiatric ward), and she will do that again. She let me almost being raped and expected me to have a healthy mental heath. It always isn't her fault but me. They try to play victim and everybody believe in it. Leaving is the only option. I like the ending. But when I'm able to do that she won't ve able to find me. She will not know my phone number. I will not see that monster again.
Nobody will give a shit until we're dead. Even then nobody will give a shit. This needs to stop now. Before it's too late even though it's already too late. This is MY life. This is OUR life.
My mother shows some toxic behavior and she just keeps playing a song that I have some trauma attached to and I've showed visible discomfort of it yet it's the only song she plays and it just doesn't help
The accuracy of this js actually insane…. My mom has done every single one of the things the toxic mom has done here… yet calls herself the best mom… and when i sought help from a school counselor, my mother told me “I wish you would have k***ed yourself instead of talking about me”. Im 18 now, still living with her, im legally blind and have other disabilities… Ive always wanted a mother and someone to just tuck me into bed at night. I hope we all get the love we deserve one day.
She disowned me today bcs I stood up and finaly stook up for all the trauma and emotional abuse she put me thro and she and my sister who she showed more love to and spoiled said they want nothing to do with me.
@@aleylarando2073 I know how you feel, and I promise you, you will find love, theyre not capable of love or empathy… and dont make the same mistake I made where we keep trying and hoping to make them listen or care, it wont work…
Very accurate. I used to live with my mother, and she was JUST like this from the bad mentions of my father (I actually live with my father now) to the "you don't love me" bs and she was always posting on Facebook on how she was such a "good" mother. My mother was a narcissist and she also did similar gaslighting as shown in this video. However, she was also an alcohol addict and never worked so sometimes we'd be in terrible hoods where KIDS would be MURDERED. The worst thing is, however, is that these types of mothers often go unnoticed due to the rising popularity of the fathers being abusive, when in reality, abuse comes from both men and women alike.
I've been through something like this against my toxic stepmother. 😥😥 Now I'm in a happy and better place and back with my mother who actually cares about me.
I DONT even remember my mom in my childhood even tho she raised me till 12. But thank God I somehow I turned out to show my daughter nothing but love❤️
I just got married and I am doing PhD. Yesterday my mother told me I can't do anything in life. It's because I was asked to pay whole expenses of my wedding and I said I won't be able to give all the money I have this month because I have to save some for my sister's higher education too as she has graduated recently. I don't know how to deal with my mother.
I watched this out of curiosity. But I realized this is my reality right now I don’t have a dad So I just have her she hit my sister for asking for flour and she locked me out of the house when I was eight but she said every mum does it
this situation is so reatable. Im just 13 and its like a non stop cycle, if i would tell my mom would be pissed and start guilt tripping me like the last time, but i dont think i can take it anymore.
I have a toxic mother bordering on abusive, she says she'll threten to send me to my dads if I misbehave due to my homelife because o her and my brother and my dad is an alcholholic who allegedly hit his ex and from what i can remember I believe it happened and I feel like it''ll get worse-
The only hope I had was never being born, that too came and gone. Abuse, Neglect, Tried killing me, kick me out one day and church the next, Working like a Slave, Refusing to take me to the Doctor's when I needed it. If there hope in life, I have yet seen it. Take care of yourself cause no one else will.
My mom was qlways jealous of the fact I had the courage to leave the father of my child because he disrespected me because her mother never supported her leaving my father qnd because she was always so scared to not be able to do it on her own qnd to be looked at as a failure by her sisters so she stayed to be financially taken care if but with someone who never respected her or the marriage
That' was quite scarily almost exactly like my own mother, it was really shocking to see that word for word. The thing is I realised years ago what she was doing and several times I've said to her, I know what you're doing, I can see that. She just gets vicious, i have NO idea what you're talking about, inbetween narcissistic pity party sobs for which I am meant to feel guilty . They don't change, even when you are an adult and live miles from them. Be careful . they are toxic and will isolate you from those who might step in to help you, and they will also talk to your friends and other relatives behind your back and yes, make out it's you who is crazy
My mom hasn't spoke to me in about 35 years but has everything to do with her other children my grandma told me that my mom told her that she never wanted me
My mom was never toxic with me, but my ex-stepdad was always so toxic to my mom and me. He was critical, manipulative, and decisive over what he wants what is best for us! I feel trapped because it was always about what he wants instead what me and my mom wants. It’s like his choices and decisions are manipulating us to live in a healthy lifestyle, but it’s our family relationship that is unhealthy. The reason why my mom cut ties with him is because we wanted to move to Turnberry on the Greene because it’s close to Aventura Mall, but my stepdad wanted us to live in Coconut Grove. That was a bad decision because there are no bus stops to wait for the bus to drop me off at Miami Dade College! My mom had enough of his decisions, due to the fact that he wasn’t helping us with packing the furniture, so my mom supported my decision on the apartment building we moved into because she likes the view of the golf course and it has an open kitchen and two closets. My mom was really happy with my decision because it’s close to Aventura Mall so I can walk across the street, through the mall to the bus station. Moral of the lesson: If people aren’t going to accept or be supportive of your decisions, cut them out of your life. Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you into thinking that they want what’s best for you. You decide what is best for yourself. Your decisions can make a positive difference
Scapegoat’s are also Truth Teller’s. Some of us are neglected and ignored, no effort wasted on us. We have this to be grateful for bc if we can brake free we still have our Souls and remnants of an identity. My siblings have neither Souls or identities. Marianne swallowed them up and they are her minime’s. No contact is the only way to begin to heal imo.
My toxic mom isolated me from my friends and family. She force me to choose a major which wasn't of my choice. This led to my academic downfall, in such hard time the only thing that was keeping me together was religion and even there she would interrupt me during prayers. I just don't want to be with her anymore.
My mother tried setting me up as if i was something really bad to avoid her abuse towards me,turned my family and my dads side of the family against me,and friends. I finally left when i realised all of it was her that had happened to me before i took matters into my own hands. Beware of your narcissistic mother,it wont be a happy ending!!!
I don't know if this is just me, but in comparison to my life, the behaviour in this video doesn't seem to be too extreme. I live in a "toxicity" much harsher than this, I feel.
Oh well.. it was fun while it lasted.. My relationship whit mom started crack when i was 8 since i replace to orphans house , now im 27 il tried to keep mom in my life till 25 than she made a final mistake that end our family ship totally and il dont regret it keeping her out of my life permanently
I honestly feel selfish, I wasn’t planed at all. My mom was raped, and she is a good mom don’t get me wrong. It’s the little things though. Ever since I was seven I’ve been terrified of brushing my hair, she used to accidentally pull out my hair a lot of the time. And another example, I had been making something, and had went upstairs to talk to my mom, and forgotten to turn off the glue gun, and came back down and she yelled at me, because it was on the carpet, and then proceeded to tell me in detail how I could’ve killed my family. (Keep in consideration I live with 4 other people and two dogs) this happend about a month ago, and that’s just the surface. I want to blame it on her being physically abusive to her for years…but it doesn’t make up for the things she’s done. Am I the problem?
Today my nine year old brother nearly overdosed on vitamins. And it was my fault I was getting fiber gummies bc I usually take them once a day and my parents encourage that. My brother saw me while my mom was sitting there watching and got some vitamins which he’s allowed to have. He ate them and loved them and went back for two more when I alerted my mom bc she was t watching anymore and was in her phone but still sitting there. She yelled at him to stop and he didn’t. I the teenager then had to take it away. My dad then informs that he had already given him is dosage earlier. He had had 3 dosages. My mom starts giving me a giant lecture how I should be smart enough to not let him do that. I ran outside and my mom asks my sister dumbly “where did she go”
Yesterday my mother told me that I should have died, and said don't eat food, that too on such a thing that I had made reels on Instagram, she said this is a despicable job, did they say right i should die
She went to therapy and stopped going once the therapist told her that the she was part qt fault because if her behavior not sure what exactly was said but ever since she stopped going to therapy because it was too harsh for her to listen ever since I gave up all hope now I'm working on grieving the mother daughter relationship I'll never have. As an only child I feel guilt because once they get old I'll have to watch over her
no you don't have to watch over her....go no contact save yourself....nc = sanity and healing for life....dont watch her it will make you insane...get rid of her in your mind and heart, soul and physically remove her from you
My mum is not good to herself,my dad is not good to himself,but i am good for myself and decided that won t be my behaviour and charachter,i want to live a happy,normal life,i am vegan❤😄🌈🍓🌺👏
To those who are with toxic parents . Let's hope one day we will be finally happy and away from all this . You are not alone
Thank you..... ..I still hope...🙃But nothing changed..
🙋♂️I am indeed happier being away from all the toxicity. After I moved alone I got to see everything from a bigger perspective and it really sucks...
It's childish play but ... not in a good way
I hope everyone will find their way afterall
Maybe
thank you
I used to have a toxic parent but one day I decided to tell her about that and they actually listened and changed!
IDK if this is pure luck or they have already changed and I haven't noticed yet
The truth is as a child you don't actually notice any of this as its the norm. It's in your 20s you start to wake up to what you've been through your entire life. But even then you're so trauma bonded to her you struggle to leave. I'm finally breaking free from her in my 30s. A shell of who I was meant to be but I still have love in me. My dog is my world and I'm going to have my own family now free of her abuse but covered in mental scars. I'm going to be the best most loving, attentive and supportive mother. I'll be nothing like her.
Samee but im a teen nd i cant leave ,im just ...cant
Just know that I am happy for you.
Wish I could do the same
I am 12 and I relised this year that my mom is a narcissistic and toxic
@@Vpdeo_duh To speak of foremost, this slant in me drives me through a conjecture which I find hard to resist. I have to tell you this that you may be quick to formulate your opinion on the matter. People do say that teenage is a a terror of recklessness. However, I do get you, or can try to. This must seem hard on you right now, but you should give it some time. The next couple of years may unfold the entirety in the obverse of it all. In case you can't help thinking the way you are believing right now, I will ask you to talk it all out with your folks, letting them know how they make you feel. And if things still do not get better, do not give up dear. Know that help is out there. You can always find it as long as you want to be saved. I will pray for your better times.
I dont need therapy I just need a mother I felt that so hard
oh no that made me cry ☹️
Yeah… same
Yep. I always question why I’m going to therapy when I going to be treated the ways that triggered me in the first place.
Yeah that hit so hard
Same I also need a mother who behave better with me...
Blocking my parents was the best thing I ever did.
True..
I can relate 🥀
how did u do it im scared to leave but i need to get out
@@nyahgriffiths3609yes bro 😢
Same
Atleast her mother is listening
Exactly
Yea in reality the mother would interrupt her right after she told that she never have done anything for her
@gracie ♡ same
Exactly
Yes, I couldn't even start saying a sentence before my mother become violent and hit me... It's amazing that the daughter in the film is so aware but I find it unrealistic.
"cant we just have one morning without this?" how i've felt my whole life
This ending is what exactly is going to happen in our house some years later.. I want to leave the house asap
Sameeeee😭
same here
It’s hard to handle but yes
Same
I began to notice her toxicity when I turned 12. I was the scapegoat child. No matter what I did, I had a bad tone, a failure, bad attitude, and spoiled. The film was spot on with the complaining about the messy house, doing nothing all day, and breaking down into tears saying how no one loves her.
I was the youngest of 4, and my mother treated my older brothers far better than me and my sister. My sisters relationship with my nother was a bit different. She was the hard working child who was well accomplished and desperate for our mothers affection. Being the youngest by 12 years, my mom neglected me and had my older siblings take care of me so I was never particularly attached to her.
My mom turned my family against me when I was going through puberty. Sometimes I would just come down stairs and be yelled at or punished for trying to get a snack from the kitchen. I had low self esteem, I was bullied, stressed, and over weight. The only one who was remotely on my side was my dad, but ironically he had enabled my mom to continue her bad behavior
It all came to a head when everyone in the house began to realize that I wasn't the problem, but rather my mother caused us to hate and resent one another. I would spend the whole day in my room in order to avoid talking to her because I was afraid of an arguement.
My mother began to lose control as my older siblings (27, 26, 21) stopped feeding into her nonsense and she couldn't deal with that.
She left when I was 15 and quite frankly I'm glad that this had happened. I'm literally thriving now. I'm actually able to socialize with people my age and I found out that I'm actually very extroverted. I'm healthy and people describe me as beautiful now and i work hard to maintain my appearance. I thank God everyday that she's gone because if I had to be the one to cut her off, which would've inevitably happened, I would've been the bad guy and my whole family would hate me.
I still feel some resentment for the rest of my family. I tell them that we all went through a bad experience together as a family and what's most important is that we still love each other. But when I think of my older siblings being pit against me by my mother, or my father listening to my mother then I get irrationally angry. There are still deep scars and to this day and I still hold some deep underlying hatred for my family. I'm hyper competitive with my sister because of my mother's influence.
I'm 16 now. My mother left February 7th 2021. There's still a lot of healing to do. But at least now I feel positive and I feel more happy than I ever have been since I was 8 years old.
Same, im 13 and I realized that she was toxic at 12. I’m literally going through the same thing. She doesn’t care, clean, or even give me food. Then she randomly starts talking about how bad my grades are when I have straight A’s, like she cares. She does nothing all day, she sits on her phone 24/7 and keeps complaining and hitting me for no reason. She’s literally ruining my life, and on top of that I have no friends, family, or people to talk to about this. I don’t think this will ever get better
Mine forced me to eat rotten food she forgot to put in the fridge. That same night I got sick and she blamed me for puking all over the bed. She was screaming her head off. I was isolated from my brothers who enabled her behaviour. I was 9. She was 42. I cannot imagine myself doing that to ANY child.
I had this EXACT same situation all but omitting a very few details. My dad knew what’s going on and would shut my mom down the minute she would start her crap. I’m in my 20s, still living at home dealing with the crap trying to save up in this economy to find myself a place. She is very narcissistic and turns everything about her and made me her scapegoat. I protected my little sister as much as I could from her wrath that she would go on if some thing wasn’t said right in the right tone or we didn’t understand something straight away after it was first explained to us (we were homeschooled).
I’m 16 too and my gosh my mom is getting to the point where we are having a civilized conversation and starts screaming at me and then I ask why did she yell at me and she says I yelled first and she feels disrespected when I literally never yelled in the first place. Yet it’s still my fault. Some days I feel like I’m gonna fall off the edge of the world but yea I do the room thing too I try to stay inside my room to my coolest abilities I hate that my sister has gone to college because now all my parents do is pick on everything I do and it’s no longer split between my sister and I
Atleast you didn’t come out with a mental illness
This is the same life me and my sister live.I never even realized that my mother was toxic, I was always on her side, thought everyone else was to blame for how she was treated. Took me 21 years to move with my dad and realize that she was the problem, and to see her true colors.
Your My is Not Toxic!
You just Stop being Respectful and that Hurt Your Mother!
All she Needed was You to continue to show Her Love.
@@KoleArtistryYou know nothing about this person life
Now that im 22 years old i decided to leave my toxic mom to live in another place far away. And it is the best decision that i might have
Don't go back. Live your best life. Don't feel guilty. They love to make you feel guilty.
I left my mom 9 days ago and I have felt sad and now numb, I feel bad that I have giving up on her. when does it get easier
@@lillianne4542 you got out so young. It's brilliant. You can live your life and if you want your mum still in your life it can be on Your terms with your boundaries in place. You must stay in control. Then you can have the best of both worlds. I'm in my late 30s and my mum still controls me. I'm finally getting away now after 3 attempts that failed. Trauma bonding is so strong. You should be proud of yourself. Join clubs have hobbies. Keep busy with work friends hobbies clubs life and your mum can be someone you see when you're feeling strong and happy not when you're feeling vulnerable.
Im 25, i wanted out so long but without school for work i cant go out house, even lowly work wont help me with the cost of rent place i might stay, but im trying to get out from my toxic mother at july, she kind and have bad temprament, spouting negativity, blaming me, compare etc yet i still love her but she nvr see it
I wish I could do the same but I can't. I despise my mother so much I want to freaking strangle her to death and I already have suicidal thoughts cause I pretty much lost hope in leaving the cursed house, because just breathing the same air as her makes me feel like my heart and brain are about to explode! I'm tired of her insults, awful backward mindset, selfishness, everything.
The words "I don't need therapy. I just need a mother." will probably cut me soon.
Same.
Fabulous movie, my mother is a bit different from what is depicted here, she tries to make me feel like I could do nothing on my own and like all my opinions and tastes and feelings are wrong if they are not hers. I still can't fully believe it because of this space she keeps me in where she must always be right and if not that just means I'm not ,,enlightened'' yet. I hope to some day leave... and even more I hope that someday I won't always have to question reality the whole night, if she really is like that or if I'm just ,,coldhearted'', ,,confused by my mother'' etc.
Amen to this. All of this.
My late mom was that way, especially after I graduated from high school.
I have the same thoughts about my mother it’s breaking me I understand you and I think I can’t I have so much pain with the thought about leave her becose she my mom and after al that pain and the scars and I know she don’t gonna change never al the self destruction is gonna stay for her life and I still can’t feel good with this I know that I should go and start my life alone
Dad doesn't care about us and mom is like that. she's always with friends on the phone and says how ungrateful we are and doesn't change a thing. being in another country, my mother stopped the language lessons and said that we don't want to learn anything anyway. little by little I notice how she really is. it was very difficult for me because she gave the impression that there was something wrong with me and I was very confused. I'm learning alone and I hope to leave here as soon as possible.
@@lau7710 That is awful. You deserve better. Stay strong!💪
I'm 52 years old and I am finally putting the pieces together. My mother was so completely toxic growing up, she hated me and was jealous of the good relationship I had with my father. She was constantly negative and complained about me my whole life growing up. Now she's 89 and living in a retirement home and badmouthing me to all of the other residents even though I visit her regularly and have been nothing but good to her for the last 30 years. She is holding a grudge against me because I was a difficult teenager. I am very close to cutting her off. God help me. 🙏
Stay strong I know how you feel
Cut her off
I am sorry about your situation. I will pray you find the way out. Don't give up. Never do that. Know that I will find a purpose to smile every time you fight back the temptation to relinquish.
If i were u i would stop seeing her
Please cut her off...live the rest of your life carefree and happy knowing you did your best to care for her 🌻
They do that much to us and expect us to give respect to them and society also expect us to respect them even if they are wrong
you are on point.If we don't do,they label us as ungrateful to them
I rlly watched this from the beginning and am like, is that what a healthy relationship with your mom looks like? She’s actually listening, helping her with homework and giving her attention in every way. But then I watched it descend into toxicity and went like, “this is even more accurate”
I would have never dared to say that to my mother. The consequences would have been a disaster.
I know right- if id even tried to respond, my mom would beat me up then and there and take away everything from me. Even if I just listen and stare at her, she looks at me menacingly and says “I can tell you look sad and youre not supposed to be sad so change how you feel on the inside because youre not supposed to feel it”
I relate so closely to this story. In fact, my sister is still dealing many of the issues you raise in this film. My advice to her (and to anyone else in a similar situation) is to remember that you are not the villain. Stand up for yourself and make your voice heard.
Great film. Thank you for sharing!
Standing up for oneself have always given not more than physical violence by her
I CAN'T even hug my mom she's in the same house with me but we never hug and she always wish that i die
Im sorry i can't speak eng well but she verey toxic
we're same....😊keep fighting u can do it😘
Please help mee 😭 we are littrally very same 😡☠️🤬
I feel you right now
The daughter of the movie literally gave up on her mother
I feel you girl me too!!!!🥺😢😇🙏
Wow the things we never really noticed growing up with the toxicity and dysfunction in households. When you're in it, it seems like it's something that just happens, like normal life situations but when you're on the outside looking in & truly observing, you see everything that is completely wrong.
The truth hurts, but at least you will know.
Bruh my mom is literally like this but worst
Yeah mine too
Same
same
"I don't need therapy, I just need a mother"
oh, God. this left me in tears.
yeah, those narc ‘mothers’. they sure sleep their asses off and chat on the phone w friends for hours. lived it
My mom is off and on. Like some days shes manipulative, telling us "dont leave me, you cant leave me." I dont think she knows how it really makes her kids, us, feel. All my siblings have left. Why? Because they couldn't handle being under the controlling roof that I now survive under. Now they're all doing drugs. I promised myself, no matter how fucked up life gets, I dont ever want to do drugs, because ive seen what they can do to a person. Tear them apart. Rip up the smallest pieces of their soul. Just yesterday we had gone to DG (dollar general) and at the checkout, my mom started talking to this woman. My mom said. "I have never hit my kids, but ive gotten crazy one or two times." I had to fucking turn away because of how disgusted i was. Don't get me wrong.. I love my mom. A part of me always will. But she denies that she ever did anything to us. I remember only fragments of my childhood, but this one time.. I was growing one of those water creatures that is really small, but when you put it in water, it grows. It was a green shark, and i had gone to check and see how big it had gotten. I brought it in the living room to show my little brother. But then all hell comes lose. I dont know why, when, or how it started, but my mom started yelling, and i got scared, so.. being like 9 or 10.. I froze. She came at me and picked me up, making the shark and the cup of water fall. I remember feeling the cold water on my feet, when it splashed. Then she threw me. I dont really care if anyone believes me or not, because ive gotten used to her denying that fact that it ever happened, even though i remember hitting the wall next to the christmas tree, next to the black leather recliner. I couldn't sit right after that.
She's so wishy washy. She acts like the loving mother i know she is, but then she can turn it around in an instant. I dont want to leave her, but maybe thats because im intertwined in her web of denial and lies.
Same. Really. My mom is similar. Mind you, my older brother has never done drugs. But my mother can turn too in an instant. That’s why I want to leave. The constant walking on eggshells, the waiting for the next fight to break out... I can’t stand it anymore. It’s killing me.
Leave as soon as you can. They never change. They only get worse and more cunning too.
Not to be an armchair psychologist, but that kind of sounds like BPD.
I don’t need therapy, I just need a mother 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
3:10 THIS!!! when they play as the victims and try to make you feel guilty so that they get to have an excuse for shouting at you.
I don’t know I never had any happy moments with my mother she tries everyday to poison other people ear to isolate me to scapegoat me for every wrong thing happens in house . She never cares if I have eaten something or not .she just cares how I impact her social life .I don’t know how to get out of this continuous drama .I can’t trust any women just because of how my mother is and how she betrayed my trust every time .I wish I had loving mother 😢
I think we all just need a mom at this point.
This brought tears into my eyes
I am a 54 year old woman. I am in a terrific marriage and I am successful. We were able to buy a home that has an apartment so that my Mom could someday join us. Instead she continues to throw insults at me. Even saying that I think I am too good because I have money. This has been the case all my life. She has always found fault with me. Talks to everyone else on the phone except me. And when she does she is yawning. It is time that I walk away and wish her the best. I am sad but I can’t live like this any longer. Last night she told me she would rather be a “street walker” than ask me for anything.” WHAT??? 83 year old street walker? Really? So sad…….
the pride is real
My dad was never there for us ...so i only expected from mom ...since child I've wanted to fulfill her satisfaction by being perfect in everything but my mom never seemed happy as I grew older i realised she can never be ...always wants her way ....i wish I could tell her one day ...if she gave me a little bit of encouragement I will be going places I swear... everything half part of mine is ruined
May be we are the unlucky one. But don't worry because we are not alone. It's okay to have toxic mother ..they teach us how be a good mother .
But whst of us boys..
The fact that I can instantly see my mother in her mother
Thank god I’m not the only one going through this stuff
The hardest thing when I was a teenager was trying explain to teacher that my mother has no time to even check my school diary and sign it and if I did ask her she would push me away. I actually had learn her signature and sign diary myself to avoid complications it worked. In last year I was very close to my female support assistant teacher she was like a mother I actually managed to explain what my mother was like that she never did help with homework or even looked at school diary didn’t sign it ever entire school years. I shown on a blank paper written in signature matching in dairy I did felt ashamed the teacher assistant didn’t realize it was that bad she did had idea somethings odd. It was first time I opened up to another then was very nervous she did it’s okay to speak what you’re experienced in and it’s not my fault. It was nice to have someone who didn’t think I was wrong.
When the mom said ur blaming me for everything i wanted to scream THATS CALLED CONSIQUESNES
This is an exact representation ,what my mom is exactly like 🙂
I like it that you make the mother isn't straight out abusive but manipulative and toxic instead.
My situation was similar to the girl. Instead of ED it's depression, and I'm suicidal. She tried to make me go to therapy (aka put me in to a psychiatric ward), and she will do that again. She let me almost being raped and expected me to have a healthy mental heath. It always isn't her fault but me. They try to play victim and everybody believe in it.
Leaving is the only option. I like the ending. But when I'm able to do that she won't ve able to find me. She will not know my phone number. I will not see that monster again.
This was me 9 days ago. I finally left and I have gone though a wave of emotions since. From feeling bad to numb hoping it gets easier
The fight is practicly word for word of what i had with my own mother. Absolutely great work
2:48 … a mother like mine’s. finally an individual that relates to me.
Nobody will give a shit until we're dead. Even then nobody will give a shit. This needs to stop now. Before it's too late even though it's already too late. This is MY life. This is OUR life.
I hate that this is exactly how my mom is
We never want to hate them but they bring us to the point of hatred
This is an exact representation of what my mom is like
This sounds so much like my mother... My god...
My mother shows some toxic behavior and she just keeps playing a song that I have some trauma attached to and I've showed visible discomfort of it yet it's the only song she plays and it just doesn't help
☹️
The first three minutes everything looked healthy.
The accuracy of this js actually insane…. My mom has done every single one of the things the toxic mom has done here… yet calls herself the best mom… and when i sought help from a school counselor, my mother told me “I wish you would have k***ed yourself instead of talking about me”. Im 18 now, still living with her, im legally blind and have other disabilities… Ive always wanted a mother and someone to just tuck me into bed at night. I hope we all get the love we deserve one day.
It looks exactly like the relationship with my mother. It’s so scarily accurate
Mine tooo both.... Never cared about me.I maintain distance from them which gives peace to me upto some extent
I am trapped with my toxic parents,i have nowhere to go,but they are acceptable so i can live my life in peace and just get away in other room❤🙂
She disowned me today bcs I stood up and finaly stook up for all the trauma and emotional abuse she put me thro and she and my sister who she showed more love to and spoiled said they want nothing to do with me.
I just wanted love
@@aleylarando2073 I know how you feel, and I promise you, you will find love, theyre not capable of love or empathy… and dont make the same mistake I made where we keep trying and hoping to make them listen or care, it wont work…
My mom just hurt my feeling everyday without understanding how I feel literally everyday she’s too toxic she yells at me everyday
As one who suffered for a long time at the hands of my abusive elders I can identify with the daughter in this video.
"It's always 'I need you', never 'I love you' " will stay.
Very accurate. I used to live with my mother, and she was JUST like this from the bad mentions of my father (I actually live with my father now) to the "you don't love me" bs and she was always posting on Facebook on how she was such a "good" mother. My mother was a narcissist and she also did similar gaslighting as shown in this video. However, she was also an alcohol addict and never worked so sometimes we'd be in terrible hoods where KIDS would be MURDERED.
The worst thing is, however, is that these types of mothers often go unnoticed due to the rising popularity of the fathers being abusive, when in reality, abuse comes from both men and women alike.
This triggered me..this is exactly what its like for me, I hope the ending will be accurate
I've been through something like this against my toxic stepmother. 😥😥 Now I'm in a happy and better place and back with my mother who actually cares about me.
This is exactly my story but actually my mom never listens to me.
That's not even 1% of what I face every day
Condolences for you 😢
I DONT even remember my mom in my childhood even tho she raised me till 12. But thank God I somehow I turned out to show my daughter nothing but love❤️
I just got married and I am doing PhD. Yesterday my mother told me I can't do anything in life. It's because I was asked to pay whole expenses of my wedding and I said I won't be able to give all the money I have this month because I have to save some for my sister's higher education too as she has graduated recently.
I don't know how to deal with my mother.
I only love my dad... my mom on the other hand😭😭 is toxic..
Same
I watched this out of curiosity. But I realized this is my reality right now I don’t have a dad So I just have her she hit my sister for asking for flour and she locked me out of the house when I was eight but she said every mum does it
Well these "toxic" parents actually have NPD and they never change they can never change.
can't wait to walk out and never come back
this situation is so reatable. Im just 13 and its like a non stop cycle, if i would tell my mom would be pissed and start guilt tripping me like the last time, but i dont think i can take it anymore.
I have a toxic mother bordering on abusive, she says she'll threten to send me to my dads if I misbehave due to my homelife because o her and my brother and my dad is an alcholholic who allegedly hit his ex and from what i can remember I believe it happened and I feel like it''ll get worse-
The only hope I had was never being born, that too came and gone. Abuse, Neglect, Tried killing me, kick me out one day and church the next, Working like a Slave, Refusing to take me to the Doctor's when I needed it. If there hope in life, I have yet seen it. Take care of yourself cause no one else will.
🫂 (If you're comfortable with it)
My mom was qlways jealous of the fact I had the courage to leave the father of my child because he disrespected me because her mother never supported her leaving my father qnd because she was always so scared to not be able to do it on her own qnd to be looked at as a failure by her sisters so she stayed to be financially taken care if but with someone who never respected her or the marriage
That' was quite scarily almost exactly like my own mother, it was really shocking to see that word for word. The thing is I realised years ago what she was doing and several times I've said to her, I know what you're doing, I can see that. She just gets vicious, i have NO idea what you're talking about, inbetween narcissistic pity party sobs for which I am meant to feel guilty . They don't change, even when you are an adult and live miles from them. Be careful . they are toxic and will isolate you from those who might step in to help you, and they will also talk to your friends and other relatives behind your back and yes, make out it's you who is crazy
When my mom made to do therapy in elementary school I told them she needed therapy and not me lol
I say this to my mom and she denies it, yells at me, blames me and tells me “well if you didn’t”
As a wise person once said…
You never know what you had until it’s gone.
The who 10:00 minutes of this is really my life
Excellent video!
My mom hasn't spoke to me in about 35 years but has everything to do with her other children my grandma told me that my mom told her that she never wanted me
My mom was never toxic with me, but my ex-stepdad was always so toxic to my mom and me. He was critical, manipulative, and decisive over what he wants what is best for us! I feel trapped because it was always about what he wants instead what me and my mom wants. It’s like his choices and decisions are manipulating us to live in a healthy lifestyle, but it’s our family relationship that is unhealthy. The reason why my mom cut ties with him is because we wanted to move to Turnberry on the Greene because it’s close to Aventura Mall, but my stepdad wanted us to live in Coconut Grove. That was a bad decision because there are no bus stops to wait for the bus to drop me off at Miami Dade College! My mom had enough of his decisions, due to the fact that he wasn’t helping us with packing the furniture, so my mom supported my decision on the apartment building we moved into because she likes the view of the golf course and it has an open kitchen and two closets. My mom was really happy with my decision because it’s close to Aventura Mall so I can walk across the street, through the mall to the bus station. Moral of the lesson: If people aren’t going to accept or be supportive of your decisions, cut them out of your life. Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you into thinking that they want what’s best for you. You decide what is best for yourself. Your decisions can make a positive difference
My mother so toxic I literally went through so much of this and even into my adult hood
Scapegoat’s are also Truth Teller’s. Some of us are neglected and ignored, no effort wasted on us. We have this to be grateful for bc if we can brake free we still have our Souls and remnants of an identity. My siblings have neither Souls or identities. Marianne swallowed them up and they are her minime’s. No contact is the only way to begin to heal imo.
My toxic mom isolated me from my friends and family. She force me to choose a major which wasn't of my choice. This led to my academic downfall, in such hard time the only thing that was keeping me together was religion and even there she would interrupt me during prayers.
I just don't want to be with her anymore.
My mother tried setting me up as if i was something really bad to avoid her abuse towards me,turned my family and my dads side of the family against me,and friends.
I finally left when i realised all of it was her that had happened to me before i took matters into my own hands.
Beware of your narcissistic mother,it wont be a happy ending!!!
I don't know if this is just me, but in comparison to my life, the behaviour in this video doesn't seem to be too extreme. I live in a "toxicity" much harsher than this, I feel.
Thanks god she didn’t slapped her on the face for talking bad , I was worried she’d do
I wish I was strong enough to stand up like that…:(
Oh well.. it was fun while it lasted.. My relationship whit mom started crack when i was 8 since i replace to orphans house , now im 27 il tried to keep mom in my life till 25 than she made a final mistake that end our family ship totally and il dont regret it keeping her out of my life permanently
I honestly feel selfish, I wasn’t planed at all. My mom was raped, and she is a good mom don’t get me wrong. It’s the little things though. Ever since I was seven I’ve been terrified of brushing my hair, she used to accidentally pull out my hair a lot of the time. And another example, I had been making something, and had went upstairs to talk to my mom, and forgotten to turn off the glue gun, and came back down and she yelled at me, because it was on the carpet, and then proceeded to tell me in detail how I could’ve killed my family. (Keep in consideration I live with 4 other people and two dogs) this happend about a month ago, and that’s just the surface. I want to blame it on her being physically abusive to her for years…but it doesn’t make up for the things she’s done. Am I the problem?
Today my nine year old brother nearly overdosed on vitamins. And it was my fault
I was getting fiber gummies bc I usually take them once a day and my parents encourage that. My brother saw me while my mom was sitting there watching and got some vitamins which he’s allowed to have. He ate them and loved them and went back for two more when I alerted my mom bc she was t watching anymore and was in her phone but still sitting there. She yelled at him to stop and he didn’t. I the teenager then had to take it away. My dad then informs that he had already given him is dosage earlier. He had had 3 dosages. My mom starts giving me a giant lecture how I should be smart enough to not let him do that. I ran outside and my mom asks my sister dumbly “where did she go”
Feel like Im not alone here
wow...i never thought i see my mothers behavior in a video and its exactly like how she is to me...wow just wow
I Hate the fact that I relate to this.
Yesterday my mother told me that I should have died, and said don't eat food, that too on such a thing that I had made reels on Instagram, she said this is a despicable job, did they say right i should die
I hope things are better for you now!🤍 much power to you
When parents call there kids ungrateful beacuse they always right the parents afraid they wrong
my phone was taken yerstdy bcz my mom came back to work when l was cooking and not with a book to read.
I noticed her toxicity when I've become 8
Why was that mum being so nice?? If I needed help with my homework she wouldn't help me I don't understand 😔
4:50 so relatable giving blame on the other parent
She went to therapy and stopped going once the therapist told her that the she was part qt fault because if her behavior not sure what exactly was said but ever since she stopped going to therapy because it was too harsh for her to listen ever since I gave up all hope now I'm working on grieving the mother daughter relationship I'll never have. As an only child I feel guilt because once they get old I'll have to watch over her
no you don't have to watch over her....go no contact save yourself....nc = sanity and healing for life....dont watch her it will make you insane...get rid of her in your mind and heart, soul and physically remove her from you
this absolutely right
My mum is not good to herself,my dad is not good to himself,but i am good for myself and decided that won t be my behaviour and charachter,i want to live a happy,normal life,i am vegan❤😄🌈🍓🌺👏
when she said I DON`T NEED TERAPY I JUST NEED MOTHERERAPYERAPY
I just want to be set Free 😢