Why I Stay Married To My Transgender Partner
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- Опубліковано 21 тра 2024
- Since we have been sharing Shaye‘s transition journey, many of you have been asking for my thoughts on being with a transgender partner. This is why I stay…
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“Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.”
-Wes Angelozzi
That’s beautiful….wish I read this years ago❤️
Such an amazing story- I'm so happy this worked out for you both.
It's so good to see that we are not alone to experience this way of life. Your voice is very important and prove that love is higher than biased opinions. We are a trans women and cisgender women family with 2 childrens in France.
Special
Love has no label's race gender religion or sexual orientation doesn't matter love is love
Growing up, my mom would tell me a story about her teacher who transitioned to a woman, and her wife stayed happily married to her. This was the 70s and you can imagine the social backlash. My mom admired them and their love so much and it was a powerful story I heard growing up in the 90s. Here's to you both and your everlasting, all powerful love ❤
How cool your mom shared that story with you!
I have the same story about my wonderful music teacher (in the late 60s), who transitioned in 1971 and was quickly fired by the school board. I never forgave the board for that terrible act. I wonder if it was the same teacher.
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You are an incredible, incredible woman. Your partner is beyond lucky to have you. Your videos are also so well structured, informative and brilliantly edited. You speak so well and so confidently with nothing but understanding and compassion, it really is a breath of fresh air.
Just want to wish your family the best now & always. The body may be different but the love in Shaye's heart or yours has never changed.
You both are incredible. At 73 I am learning so much from you. I am not transport nor do I know anyone who is but I support how people want to live and who and how they want to love. You are a very strong woman and your family is very lucky to have you. I wish you all love and happiness. Thank You so much. Merry Christmas!❤
Both are lucky to have each other🩷🩷
Its just so beautiful that even coming from a mormon background you can see the most righteous and empathetic thing to do is accept and support LGBTQ people. Your channel really sets a great example for religious people with long held beliefs to hopefully question their views. Very beautiful couple and family ❤
I agree with u they're a loving couple mostly her for accepting her partner shay's transition
That’s what real religion is anyways . Love an faith and some hope all moved together
I don’t get it, how is this righteous? This Shaye was not honest when they got married, it’s like she was sold a dud, that’s not fair on anyone. Lucky for him she’s happy to adjust but you cannot expect this from ppl, this lady has gone above and beyond
@@emilygooner9697 People who have gender dysphoria take year's for most of them to identify they as opposite there assigned gender
@@emilygooner9697Most people who has gender dysphoria would take them year's to identify as opposite of there assigned gender so don't judge until you understand there pain and struggle
I thought I was open minded and accepting of the trans community until my child came out to me. It is a very different acceptance when it's not an abstract idea but someone you love. It's hard but they're still the same person deep down. If you truly love that person, you want them to be happy.
As a trans woman this is how I want to be loved
I am a biologist woman and long to be loved this way. This is unconditional love at its best. These videos are healing me. ❤
Pray you attract the love you desire❤
And you deserve to be!! Much Love to you!
I hope you find the love of your life.❤
How you deserve to be loved
My wife and I are both 60 I came out seven years ago after 34 years of marriage. She has the same feelings you have. I am just father in my transition the new wife is, as you stated, you love the persons, heart, not the body❤
So you have a sexual proclivity for wearing women's clothes? And if you are a woman now you are a lesbian right?
I think it's wonderful that LOVE is what is keeping you two together.
I think for some people they don’t think of how supporting someone can mean different things. As a queer person myself, if my partner told me he was trans it wouldn’t change my feelings. We would have a lot of growing to do and change to work through, but that’s ok.
In your family support has meant staying together, which I love. I’ve also known couples who after one came out as trans their romantic relationship ended, but they continued to support their former partner as friends, sometimes co-parents, etc, because they didn’t break up because they had issues with their former partner being trans, they just weren’t compatible romantically anymore which is also valid. Love sometimes evolves as we grow as people, and that’s ok. We can support people we love in so many ways.
Just found your channel and am so glad I did ❤. I am trans woman and my wife and I have been together 12 years. Seeing someone else go through a similar journey of transition and faith change , just brings so much visibility to a journey I felt I was navigating without much of. Thanks taking the courage to be so public with your lives. Excited to explore the channel and wish both you and ur partner the happiest of lives!
I've watched a LOT of transgender related content on youtube. And without doubt, this is the most inspiring, loving and beautiful story I've listed to. Shaye is so lucky to have you as her wife. If I ever meet anyone half as kind, intelligent and compassionate as you, I would be over the moon. I wish both all the happiness in the world.
This was so well stated and well done. There are so many people who need to hear this message. By supporting people to be themselves, lives are saved. Sending you a standing ovation and sharing this for others to see!
You are a beautiful couple navigating some really big transitions together.
I appreciate and honour the way you are sharing your journey with such sincerity . I wish you both so much happiness ❤
Your growth and intelligence through this is amazing and admirable. I hope more and more partners of trans people are open to developing a new normal with their partner like you have with your family.❤️
What a beautiful testament to tolerance, compassion, and the enduring power of love.
So glad you’ve found peace. I love your videos, seams like you’ve come along way since morman stories too
I’ve watched several of your videos this morning, and feel compelled to say how beautiful and uplifting they have been. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and explaining what must be difficult feelings so very, very well. I hope you’ll carry on making family vlogging videos in the future. The open-mouth dog kiss was both hilarious and gross haha! Love to all 🇬🇧
This video is so beautiful and wise !!! I watch all your videos about your transition journey and they have touched me deeply!! I am so so so happy for Shaye that she finally can allow herself to be herself and that she is so loved while doing so! You are so right: trans is beautiful!!❤❤❤
This is absolutely beautiful and I am so grateful to both of you for being so honest, open and vulnerable - which to me = brave - in order to help educate this often narrow minded, rigid society. All peace and love and truth to you and your family. Look forward to your next video! I hope healing is going well and I admire all of you. ☮️❤️🌷
So inspiring. Wishing you both well on this journey. Thank you also for sharing the stories and pieces of history that depict the spectrum of gender. I find that fascinating and helpful in bringing awareness that this is part of humanity for much longer than we know.
Love your idea of "Humanizing" trans people (but of course some of us have always known that we are all humans first of all and everything else about us comes next). I totally agree that by supporting our transgender community we are uplifting humanity in general. And although I don't call myself a Christian I am absolutely sure this is what Jesus (and the Buddha and Krishna) would have wanted us to do and would have done themselves. Your story and strength is so inspiring and even more inspiring knowing that you are both ex-Mormons. 🙂
You’re both beautiful inside and out I’m so glad to share this existence with y’all ❤
I very rarely comment on yt videos. Your story and this video really moved me. I was sobbing by the end. Thank you for putting this out here.
I love your vulnerability and williness to share your journey. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to celebrate your stories.
Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s about educating yourself on the subject! Most of us have never had to think about it until you know someone close to you going through it. Thank You so much for sharing your journey, heart, thoughts and education with us!♥️♥️♥️ Much love to you both.
True love. It’s beautiful how you support and accept each other. Wishing y’all the best! 💗
I LOVE THIS VIDEO 🥹♥️ such incredible points. thank you for sharing another very personal part of your journey/life Amanda! Sending love to your beautiful family!
I love ALL OF THIS! Thank you for sharing your story so openly! WOW!
Amanda, this vlog is beautifully said. Peace and love to your family. 🕊️💕
So very proud of you and Shaye , Amanda. Thank-you for sharing your wisdom that you are continuing to gather. Love to you and your family and may God continue to bless you. ❤️
Kudos to you honey! Love is love! Your children are very intelligent and know that they are truly loved and not letting gender play any role in this. Praying for the best to y’all! You got this. Love 💕 y’all!
Thank you for being a thoughtful, wise, and discerning person and modeling true compassion, love and a commitment to understanding. Your words and example are powerful examples of how to create a world that is safer, healthier and more full of love for everyone.
This was really really well done. Thank you for sharing your experience and letting us in on your journey.
Beautifully said Amanda. Love is love. Love will conquer all. By you and Shaye sharing your journey you are teaching us all so much. Thank you. 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Love is love, it defies, gender, religion, governments and a thousand other roadblocks. SO happy for your family ❤
I am so glad I found you guys. You have such a beautiful family and relationship, and even looking at older videos I love your home and your geeky interests!! My favorite channel now
Omg......I'm going threw the same thing. Wow this sounds like our relationship. This bring tears to my eyes. Thanks for being you.
I admire your honesty and openness. Your words and expression are very well thought out and empathetic. I wish you both a life of love and happiness.
Thank you so much for your willingness to share your journey, both of you. Wishing you all the very best.
I really REALLY appreciate that you and Shaye share your journey and you answered many of my questions that I had as I followed you through this process. I understand you supporting Shaye, I do too, however, a place I was getting stuck was are your needs being met? You touched on this when you mentioned your attraction and fluidity, if you are comfortable sharing more on this subject I think it may help me and others understand how you can be served in this relationship. You are SO giving, loving, open-minded and supportive and I hope that your needs are not put behind Shaye's, and that you can also be well served in your marriage. I support and applaud you both being brave and authentic and I look forward to learning more from you!
Yikes she didn’t reply saying her needs were met, this lady has gone above and beyond, she is not getting what she signed up for in her marriage, I’m concerned ppl feel backed into a corner to accept this in a partner. On one hand why should they, the person deceived them into a relationship. I also get the feeling everything is about “Shaye” like why should it be if 2 ppl are in a relationship
thank you Amanda, I cannot my feelings in words, but your words, how I feel, my confusing gets "words", thank you, please Keep us updated as much as possible
sorry for my Englisch
I found your channel through watching your story on Mormon Stories. I really appreciated how much information you both shared about your experience. I feel like i am a very excepting person but was very confused by all the different lables and each personal experiences, but was worried if i asked a question that it would be rude or come across as judging. My adopted son said he thought he was Pan sexual when he was 10 years old. I had never heard this term before because i was living under a rock trying to survive being a stay at home mom and dealing with some other violent behaviors that my son would show. So i had no clue what they were talking about, but tried to reasure them i would always love them, and if they still felt this way when they were older and had a bit more time getting to know themselves we could continue to talk about it. They got older and during the teen years it was super tough for me. My son would get very angry if i asked questions and accused me of not being supportive. I was just asking because i did not know, and was genuinely curious. I really liked your interview on mormon Stories because you did mention that some people are genuinely curious. I am so happy to have found your channel as well. I love how you both are connected, and committed. I am just very moved by this video and what you talk about. I feel i can learn more about this all through your experiences you both share.
I hope Shay is doing better everyday after the surgery. So breave and empowering. As for my son, they are 18 now, living on their own. They are on their journey of life, just like each of us are. I feel your videos will continue to help answer some of my possible questions i might have with my relationship with my son. Love what it can become. Thanks.
Wonderful video. I’m a 61 year old transgender woman I started transitioning @ 58 year’s old. Nothing about being transgender is easy but I’m lucky I have the support of my wonderful wife and children. We celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary in September and yes our relationship has changed but we are more committed to each other than ever.
Thank you for sharing. I think you should write a book about this journey.
This is the most beautiful relationship I think I've ever seen. How amazing to be loved for who you are and not for what gender you are. You are living proof that love conquers all. Never stop sharing your beautiful life. Thank you.
Shaye and You are extremely fortunate to have one another! This is a very beautiful story and I am so happy to be able to see the strength in your selves and your marriage.
I love the way you talk about this subject! I'm so glad I found you! The way I see it, trans people are showing us what is in need of change in our society! Gender role can be oppressive and not for everyone. In my mariage the role are fluid depending on what makes sense for each other in the moment. Thank for sharing your experience, and mostly to share it with such deep love and calm. It's very healing! Much Love to your family!
I don’t know how this channel came on my time line but it is wonderful. The way Shay explains self acceptance and not fighting the tide. Resonated with my soul.
I’m compelled to look at other videos as I still work toward with finding the joy I desire within.
I’m very happy for both of you. I hope you continue to grow. I myself a concerned with the transgender movement, but am open to learning. I try to live with as much grace in myself for other people.
You are a lovely person. As someone born in the early 60's I never would dream that this would be possible. Things are changing for the better :)
It’s a lot for people on the outside of your home to wrap their heads around but you do a great job of explaining- there was always going to be questions - I’m sure your videos have helped many people and hopefully those still trapped in the Mormon way - that they too are finally seeing the light and getting outta there! Love to all ❤
I think your take on the situation is beautiful. I wish for all the happiness in the world for both of you! You deserve happiness and acceptance and love!!!
My partner and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary and only a few months ago he told me he might be trans (definitely questioning). I already identified as bi (or pan idc) so it wasn’t an issue for me that way, it’s just new and different. I also have been straight passing in this relationship so far, so there are people we would be coming out to who I would also be coming out to. That makes me a little nervous just because dating a guy I just kind of thought with certain people I would never come out to them. I know we are staying together, but I just don’t have many resources or people to talk to about this, so I really appreciate this video and your perspective!
Well said Amanda. Ty! I hope Shaye is doing well in recovery and it is so wonderful you have each other. ❤
"With gender we're all in costume" I love the way you express this and directly take TERF's to task on this issue, this makes so much sense.
Hello Amanda and Shaye. I loved this beautiful insightful video. Thanks for making it. My husband and I have relatives and friends in the Pride Community ( easier for me than always saying LBGTQ community because I tend to scramble the letters. ) Anyway, I found this video especially touching. I'm a retired early childhood educator and social worker, who mostly worked in Child Protective Service. I have a lot of experience with children and it's easy to see that your adorable gorgeous kids are happy and well cared for. No one can ask for more!
Thank you for sharing your story. As the mother of transgender son, I find hope in your story. I wish you all the best in your journey and may you find the light in the times of darkness.
I love this ! Amanda, hope you do not mind that I sharing this link with my support groups ! Bless you two.
Your openness and acceptance will save lives. ❤ Originally came for the home content, staying for the complete honesty and strong family unit.
I don't usually touch this subject publicly (and honestly, I'm on the fence about how I see this whole deal), but at the end of the day, a true marriage is all about having your soulmate. I don't really understand this discussion of trans, but if this comes to light in a committed marriage with your true soulmate, you tend to stick together no matter what. My hat is off to you both for continuing to be married soulmates. I wish you all the best. This is coming from a "hypermasculine" dude (whatever that means, but I'm definitely a masculine dude who is ready to cry and otherwise be vulnerable, but I'm a man and I wear that hard). Like I said, I wish you both the best. Stay married, be happy, do well, and be good friends with all. Jesus is probably fine with this. I like to believe my Savior is. Christianity teaches us that none of us are mistakes because God never makes mistakes.
That story is truly something deep and amazing. Thank you so much for sharing so openly
The fact that you were coming from this devout Christian religion that is known to be even more closed to queer people and that you have done so much research and spent so much time with your spouse speaking honestly and openly that you both have been able to come through it all to the place that you now stand. You have done it with love, openness, been willing to dissect your long and deeply held beliefs and you have done it together as a team. Your story hits me in a deeply emotional place as a late to come out lesbian with an early (13) to come out trans daughter (16 now)who grew up and was educated deeply Roman Catholic. I may not have practiced my religion in decades but it will always, always be there and I have over recent years started making some progress with moving on from and even possibly forgiving the church (more like the people in it) for all that harms that have come to me and others through it.
You are an amazing couple, am amazing family, so brave, intelligent and above all, full of love x
This is one of the most important videos I've ever seen. May every single person in the world see it and UNDERSTAND.
Thank you so very much!
Love you guys and that you’re sharing your stories. (Just a side note of love I don’t think you need the memes to back up your voice, it’s loud and important enough just as you are) x
This makes me so happy I'm crying I hope for your family to continue thriving and be happy and healthy 💗 💖
I love this so much. True love that is stronger than harmful social constructs. Watching this made me cry.
I clicked on this video not sure what to expect and was happy with what i watched. Great job!
Beautiful ❤
Thank you for having the courage to share your story!
You are teachers for all
Much Love for your family ♥️♥️♥️
Wow, powerful. Thank you for your perspective and sharing your family’s lived experience.
My husbands “Mormon parents” (long story and best term we have come up with). The “father” has transitioned to female. She did this in her 60’s which I think is amazing and I’m happy she can live the rest of her life the way she feels.
They are still attending the Mormon church, they are still married. They are best friends.
They did an interview on a podcast and I cried! The love they have is one that I find beautiful, and I think it’s an example of what a marriage should be! They are absolutely best friends. I think that is the key in the relationship. I think that should be the key in any relationship, but that is my personal 2 cents.
Their children have basically disowned them. So we invite them to things because they are important to us and what they have taught me personally has been beautiful and amazing! The person who has transitioned has said “I’ve learned that grace is the key”. It’s not about changing people but helping them understand and accept.
They are such an amazing couple and I love them so much!
My feeling: sometimes adjectives are in the way. my adopted son? adopted daughter? nah.......it's my son! my daughter! same holds true here. my transgender partner? nah......my partner. I marvel at the grace with which your family is traveling the path that'll get you all where you are meant to be. much love.......
In this case she specifies "transgender partner" specifically because that is the subject of the video. Loving and staying with her partner through this transition. In the title so that it comes up in searches and relate content. In her phrasing to place emphasis on the fact that this isn't just about loving ANY partner, but specifically her transgender partner. Don't forget that Amanda's passion is books and literacy, the specifics of impact from words is her expertise.
I'm certain that when introducing Shay in a social setting, she would simply say "this is my partner, Shay".
My husband left me because his family made his choose them or me when I came out as trans. He tried to stick by me for a little while but said that with all the hate I garnered for being out, he didn’t have it in him to walk that journey with me. He said my life was going to be hrs and he wasn’t prepared for that fight, forever. I don’t slight him, not everyone has the strength of character you do. I appreciate you sharing your story so much. You are strong. Your family is strong. Your love is strong. 🏳️⚧️ happy pride!
This video was so well made, you are so well spoken! The editing was really good too :)
It’s difficult to think about these things without the traditional binary considerations. At first I was like, ‘so are you now gay?’ But I see that it’s not about that. It’s about commitment, family, acceptance and the literal work of marriage.
It's lovely when people allow themselves to learn about concepts new to them, bravo to you Patricia!! One thing people usually confuse when hearing these topics for the first time is gender & sexuality. Gender has nothing to do with sexual preference and vice versa 🥰
@@sia9907 maybe you do, but most Lesbians absolutely do not confuse gender identity with sexual preference.
Obviously it’s not expected, but I would love to hear how your families are welcoming the transition? I can assume just by societal norms some haven’t received it so well but I’m hoping I’m wrong and all have been just as lovely as you.
"Being trans doesn't hurt anyone" 👏👏👏 may we live in a world where all trans people feel proud and free to live as eho they are without shame, pain or fear. We all deserve the same love and empathy. 🫶
here's to growth, acceptance, and love 🥂 thank you for making this video, amanda.
I can't say enough positive about this video and your kindness and humanity! Thank you!
I'm so happy for your family for finding joy in this journey. My transgender wife and I used to be Mormon too. We are both Returned Missionaries, married in the temple, the whole nine yards. We left Mormonism 7 years ago. We've been married 11&1/2 years. My wife came out as transgender 1 month after our 10th wedding anniversary. It was hard for the first 6 months but we are in it together. Our marriage is so much happier now that my wife doesn't have the stress of hiding. It's been a blessing and an honor to be on this journey with her. I TOO, FULLY SUPPORT MY TRANSGENDER WIFE!!!!
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I love this video ❤ taking time to understand and discovering is a life lesson for many ideas we have assumed were the only way, thank you for sharing your story ❤️
An absolutely amazing example of unconditional love 💕
You should be commended for your openness and your honestly about your feelings and this journey that your family is on, in a world that is full of judgement and hate. You are very brave. Kudos to you. ❤❤❤❤❤
You’re such a great narrator/public speaker. Love your stories.
I’m sure you’ll help so many ppl and I feel you can change minds out there.
Thank you for your courage in sharing your journey. Interesting to know about the history of other cultures that experience this. I'm curious to know if there is anything in history that talks about medically transitioning. Please share where one can research on this topic.
Thanks for the question. If you go and read about third gender people, there’s tons of different historical contexts you can look at. As far as physical transition, there’s a lot of cultures where that hasn’t been prominent and others where it has. In the Mesopotamian and Ottoman context, physical changes were part of the third gender experience. But, of course, the technology was much different in the middle ages when a lot of these histories were written. 😊
How beautifully and lovingly spoken. God bless you and your family. ❤
You’re such a beautiful couple. Makes me sad to see negative comments but you handle them with grace and kindness. You’re very intelligent and I’ve learned so much. Thank you for sharing
Oh my heart♥️♥️♥️ I cried at the end🌻🌷🌺🌼🪻🌹
What a wonderful video. Thanks for sharing your journey. Also, I’ve been wondering how Shaye is doing following her surgery. Hope all is healing well.
I am truly shocked....by how AMAZING you both look after 17 years! 🎉
“I definitely feel queer”. YASSSS GIRL!!!! I bawled when you said that!
Congratulations on your transition! I found your channel today and it warms my heart. Your family is beautiful, thank you for standing up for all the trans out there. ❤️
This is a beautiful story of your experience. Thank you so very much for sharing. 💜
So proud and excited for the both of you and your entire family! It’s great to see you standing by Shaye’s side. It is very special to have a partner who is so loving and devoted. And most importantly, that you won’t be leaving her or seeking out an intimate relationship with a man outside of your love and bond with Shaye.
I look forward to following your family’s journey and wish you all the best!!!
You shouldn't need to explain why you're staying with her. It's your life you do you, we do us no need to explain your love, and affection to Shaye. If people don't think that love can go beyond husband/wife then people need to be quiet. Shaye is just as much a human as we are watching her life. :)
Hello I found it very educational and thank you for explaining it because I wound not think a person of transgender would want to stay with the same sex but you owe nobody anything ,I for one appreciate your explanation and I will better educate myself.
him* #factsdontcareaboutfeelings
So wonderfully explained. Wishing you both much love on this amazing journey.
She is one lucky gal to have such a supportive partner. I wish your family abundant blessings!
Thank you Amanda, you and Shaye are truly amazing humans!!!❤
Thank you for this video! You said everything so beautifully!
I've always believed that if partners really love each other for who they are inside, exterior changes are irrelevant. I mean, we all hope to grow old, right? Lots of exterior changes there! Each family's journey is unique. Thank you for bringing us along for your beautiful love story!
💙💗🤍💗💙
Sending so much love to you both on your journey!❤