I hate how women justify their disgusting behavior of sleeping with an already taken man. He is definitely to blame, but you KNOWING about it is insane to me. I could never sleep with someone else’s man, I’d feel disgusted with myself. In fact I’m telling the girlfriend or wife about wtf he’s doing. If it was me , I’d want someone to tell me so I don’t waste any more time 🤷🏾♀️
Agreed. Some people don't like being told about infidelity because it makes them feel humiliated, that someone else knows their business or is involved when they shouldn't be. I know a situation like this, and it's MESSY.
I'm a girl's girl to my core, but I've been noticing some of these girls that shout for sisterhood are a bit off and fake. If women weren't raised to compete and center men, we would be invincible.
Lack of self esteem, insecurity and jealousy. Granted not everyone will like each-other , but some women are just mean because of unresolved issues they have with themselves and pour that hate out onto other women.
im not a girls girl or a guys girl (aka pick me). I have my guard up meeting anyone regardless of gender. I have come to terms that most women do not like each other and I need to watch my back. They can be just as dangerous as men.
I feel like being a girls girl is just not treating other women like competition in every aspect of life. Not taking pride in the downfall of other women.
I truly dislike the way some women are just void of accountability too, they blame everyone as to why they're so rude and h8teful to women like seriously go get some therapy and get a handle on your issues because hurting other women due to your lack of self esteem. Some women really love being mean because it makes them feel superior because they feel inferior in all other aspects of their life
SPEAK ON IT!! I said the same thing about this push for "relatability" from celebrities nobody owes you anything like I don't get how some of these women think they have the right to celebrity women simply because they bought an album 🤦🏽♀or went to a concert, you paid to see them perform and that's what they did, gave you what you paid for. they don't owe you an interview or social media posts to make you feel like you know them, why are you so obsessed with being in their personal life anyway? the art speaks for itself. It's just another excuse for some women to h*t e on other women
EXACTLY!! They do this mess to Beyonce all of the time. An artist's job is to make music not be your bff. that is what youtubers and influencers are for. I'm tired of this "relatability" era of pop culture anyways. I miss the pre social media era when people only cared about the art. And being relatable normally just means being cringey and behaving unlady like.
i just had a realization that some friends of mine and cousin act just like this. they always put me down and say wild stuff only when men are around to make themselves look better.
Girl, some family members are THEE worst and think it’s okay because they’re “family” sometimes you have to distance yourself from family members and be cordial because a stranger will treat you better. Choose you first babe 🩷
@@riahhhhh500absolutely, these guys laugh but they’re really laughing at how desperate they’re for approval. They willing to lose friends and family over validation. It’s like you can’t stand out without doing all that extra low vibrational stuff. 😂
Society is partly to blame for this competive streak. Most women aren't taught at a young age to have confidence in our abilities or work ethic. We're taught to put major emphasis on our looks, on our ability to score men, and marriage. It's a toxic cycle, when everyone is trying to tear you down just cause you are not insecure and they deal with their own jealousy and self-hatred.
This!!!! I mentioned this to a friend recently that hairstyles, extensions, designers, cosmetic enhancements, and false eyelashes are not aimed towards men; they are used to outshine other women. These individuals are quick to criticize your appearance if you don't possess these items - it's all about creating an exclusive club.
I hate how women see other women as competition whether romantically or otherwise. I unsubscribed from Harriyanna Hook over a disagreement that I had about her Powerpuff Girls video and her fans went after me, but the thing about her that astonished me was her hatred of conventionally attractive women because of her experiences in high school. I'm not one to invalidate someone’s negative experiences, but she has dragged pretty women just to push her negative views on beauty and the world. She does that because boys didn't like her growing up. I wasn't cool in high school, but pretty women deserve respect because I've seen pretty women having low self-esteem from traumatic childhoods and/or experiences.
Women like that are so annoying and self righteous and instead of healing they become b!tter. Acting as if someone being pretty invalidates what they've been through simply because they're dealing with their own deep insecurities
Some of these women are so t0x!c and have people who champion their t0xic behavior that they see nothing wrong with it and they also identify with that insecurity so they find a mis3r@bl3 space for them to all gather and be n a sty together lol
I hadn’t watched her videos for a long time due to the reasons that you said. I think I remember in one part from her Mineta video that felt body-shamey
YESSS ALLLLL OF THIS!! I am so glad I am not the only person that sees this. She is the typical fake feminist that only claims to be one because she hates men. These type of women despise women that they feel look better than them , they are not real feminists. She has made numerous videos dragging conventionally attractive women and girly girl types. She said that they only reason why people watched Totally Spies was because they were pretty and the fashion. Even her die hard stans disagreed with the video. We watched Totally Spies because of the gadgets and their fighting skills more than anything. She also claimed that we only like Azula because she's attractive which was complete BS. We like her because she is a very well written villian. And also, most of the girls in avatar were pretty so that was a very weak point. I remember her power puff girls video. She made a very strange comment about women in that video that stood out to me. During the time that that video uploaded, the trend of making yourself into a y2k cartoon was popular and the PPG was included in that. She said, "I keep seeing these mean girls making PPG cartoons of themselves which i dont get because yall did not even watch the show". Literally everyone who was a kid in the 2000s watched the same cartoons regardless of social status. She has a clear disdain for women that are pretty and overtly feminine because they remind her of the "mean girls" form high school.
I have to admit I used to be one of the girls that would be in other girls' faces laughing and smiling, while judging them in my head, or plotting on what they had, or around them out of loneliness just to say I had a friend. Luckily I grew out of it and started taking my journey to self love very seriously but the reason why girls and women like this are so dangerous is because of the lack of self-awareness. There's so much shame and self-hatred internally and they will protect their ego at all costs.
If you don't mind, why and when do you think you devaluation of women started? To do what you did requires some level of lack of empathy towards women. Why do you think you did not see yourself in other women like men do other men? No judgement at all, I have always wanted to ask someone who has the backstory you do
@@hazelbasil6451 For me, it was abuse and neglect from my mother. I adopted the relationships I saw her have with other women and the way she treated me I treated other girls because I thought that was what love is. I also adopted her lack of empathy. So it was a toxic cycle of me mistreating other women or other women mistreating me, and me not realizing any of it because I never had an example of a woman take accountability for her actions, until I became that example for myself
I once had a friend who had been dating another friend's brother but had broken it off because they just weren't right, and it seemed like everyone was still getting along until the friend/sister texts out of nowhere (I was there when it happened) accusing them for having "hurt and manipulated" their brother, saying cruel stuff like they'll never be married (not true as they are happily married today). While the situation eventually worked out, I personally dumped that person right then and there. I simply do not accept anyone talking about my friends that way.
The thing that pisses me off the most about being a “girls girl” is how they demonize anyone who doesn’t like pink or being girly and loves weird/nerdy/unconventional things. She’s automatically labeled a “pick me” or “‘not like other girls” when she’s simply being herself. Unless she bashes other woman for not liking the same things as her, there’s nothin wrong with a woman not being traditionally feminine. We can have different interests/tastes and co exist with one another.
@@sarkie3927 what I mean is, for example, a girl goes online and says “oh I love sports. I’m not really into pink or dresses it’s not me. I just like skateboarding and soccer” people in the comments will be like “oh she’s such a pick me, she just wants male attention” when she never said anything like that. She just simply stated that she like sports and doesn’t like pink or dresses
@@sarkie3927 like we use the them pick me and not like other girls to embarrass women who are quirky and weird and different and sporty, when in reality they mean woman who put others down for male attention. Just because your quirky doesn’t mean your not like other girls. We associate it with that term but a woman can be quirky and not put others down for male attention. And like wise, a woman can love sports and hanging with boys without putting other woman down or being a pick me
@@sarkie3927 yeah it different out in the real world but in terms of social media I see it everywhere, and maybe it’s just my experience but I’ve seen cases of this happening and they used these terms when it didn’t apply
Thank you for saying this! Now with the girl's girl discourse and sorority, people forget that not all women are the same. The problem with these concepts is that (even when they're rooted in great ideas) they are kind of based in preconceived notions of what women are like. To be a girl's girl, you have to be seen as stereotypically girly and that's not everyone's cup of tea. I don't like wearing makeup most of the time and dress more "modest" cause' I like it, but if I said this out of context online, I'd easily get called pick-me (even though I'm not looking for attention rn). Also, wanting male attention is not wrong. Putting other people down is wrong.
The timestamp around 7:59 hit the nail. I’ve had “friends” who only wanted to be my friend out of convenience until I discovered their internalized sexism. They got mad I called them out on it, but in the end they are aware of what they did.
I'm glad you are talking about this because I've been noticing that for a while now that a lot of women being misogynistic to each other especially other black women and they talk about this Sisterhood even though that Sisterhood doesn't exist
the sisterhood in the BC is only on social media. A lot of BW hate each other and its so sad but its the truth. The BC in general dont like BW unless they are an underdog. The hatred that they have for Beyonce proves my point. If she were a man she would be loved a lot more.
I often felt like an outsider because I’m a Tomboy at heart, but I still show my feminine side. I’m 🌈 and have sometimes dealt with women who I called ‘friends’ but started to play hot/cold with me. Like it’s sad…
I was watching this video and realizing so many of my friendships with women have been like this. They were secretly hating me, wanting a guy I was with, or got close to me to feel better about themselves. I had a friend for 10 years who set me up by giving my stalker my information and then threatening revenge porn. It has been so rough. I think for myself a lot of these patterns I’ve missed because my mom is one of those girls as well so it’s been normalized. The “jokes” and whatnot. It’s sad but I’m glad you talked about it so I can recognize it better.
OMG!!!!! This is so terrible and disgusting of her to do. I am so sorry for your experience because that is NOT okay and it’s beyond dangerous and honestly you should’ve pressed charges against her as well as a restraining order for putting your safety at risk. Sending you love and healing babe 🩷
This is why you can't trust some women then a lot of them are void of accountability and will still continue to be outright cruel and will never change. I'm glad women are learning the behaviors of people who just are not good people because it protects you and you don't have unnecessary drama in your life
Im not one and i have no shame in that at all. A lot of women have main character complexes and are only nice to other women that kiss their behinds. They want to be Regina and they want their friends to treat them like Gretchen. Dealing with women can be just as stressful as dating men, which is why I have decentered romantic relationships with men and platonic friendships with women.
I wouldn’t call myself a girls girl. I won’t like and support you because we share the same gender. I will like and support you because you are kind hearted, good, genuine person regardless of gender, race, sexuality...etc. I’m not going to excuse toxic, bad behavior because you are a girl. Unconditional love and support is a toxic trait that can be harmful to you, to the other person, and other people around you. I think what we should do as women more is hold each other accountable for things, but also give each other advice to be better people out of love.
That point about mean girls in high school not growing out of that behavior in adulthood is so true. I dropped all of the mean girls that I went to high school because they were toxic. One has recently tried to reconnect with me through my sibling because I do not have social media. I keep her as far as I can throw her because I know she just wants to be nosey.
I dislike how fake some girl's girls can be. From what i've observed in real life, alot of girls i've seen that pride themselves on supporting women, but do it with exceptions on which groups of women they support. I grew up neurodivergent and LGBTQ, and had tons of friends who were also neurodivergent and LGBTQ. There were tons of girls who would preach about women supporting eachother no matter what, but when it came to me, my friends and other girls who kind of went against social norms, they were like 'No, i know what i said, but not *those* girls.'
I already know this is going to be a great video. To a default, we are all socialized to compete with women, even disliking them. But as one gets older, women should be able to grow out of that mindset and be more empathetic and inspiring to women instead of belittling them.
If anything I think women are socialized to be people pleasers to everyone. We are taught to be submissive to men, but we are also taught that if we do not like or want to be friends with every girl then we are a "pick me". I hold both men and women to an equal standard. Both are not to be trusted until proven otherwise.
I knew this already, but this just confirmed how fucking lucky I've been all my life. In 26 years of *only* being friends with girls/women, I never met or befriended one like the ones described in the video. And I genuinely hope it stays like this cause they scare the shit out of me. Y'all be safe 😭
Thank you, I love your videos From experience I Automatically Don't believe a person that has to get on the internet and say oh I support women.I'm a girl's girl.That's suspicious to me.That's like the same thing as someone saying.Oh i'm a good person, words don't mean nothing your actions do. Not to mention the Toxic Dynamic of Mother and Daughter competition I've seen time and time again. Granted people aren't going to like you regardless of anything you are and what they are. That's just reality, but I've seen more nasty behavior from women towards other women. Don't get me started on the grown women being rude and downright disrespectful to young women my age or worse younger. I support people that are respectful and honest 💯 ✨️
I'll be honest maybe since I'm a black woman and I've be disillusioned by white feminism disguised as feminism. I really hate the pick me/girls girl complex that women do. Women are deep and complicated in who we are and on our beliefs and how we go through life. We are not gonna get along and I despise the idea that I have to support a woman because we're the same gender or else I'm a pick me. No if I don't like a woman it's because of who she is as a person and especially if I know they won't support me. I'm very girly with a love a video games and anime I have be called a pick me for my girly and my non girly interest I don't do what I do for validation I do what I do because I want to and I like it. I try to find female friends who actually like me and want to be around me I don't do the whole mean girls frenemies thing.
First off love this video take as a girl girls it’s hard finding genuine girl friendships also Wilhelmina Slater from ‘Ugly Betty’ played by Vanessa Williams is a character known to be an a adult mean girl she plays this role very well and it’s perfect bc you see how she’s as a mother and in the work place
Vanessa was outstanding in ugly betty just got my mother to watch the show because she didn't believe vanessa could play a bad girl she's loving the show
It's embarrassing to say, but it took me having my daughter at 40yo before I really understood the importance of vetting your female friends. I started asking myself if her friends did or said the things that some of mine were doing, would I think it was ok? It was eye-opening for me.
People don’t want to hear it but too many women are conflict avoidant. You may not be guilty of these behaviors, but if you are witnessing them, and you are not pulling aside this woman to have a word with her, you are complicit. Give her the courtesy of a kind correction instead of labeling that woman as a pick me and beneath you. If you don’t then she will never grow
I disagree with this because it's not the responsibility of others to teach grown adults how to be a good person you either are or aren't you can't coddle adults and you can have multiple conversations with those type of women and they see nothing wrong with their behavior and try to gaslight you to believing it's all in your head. people have to want to change on their own
I’m a girls girl.. but the heart breaking part about this is knowing that all girls aren’t girls girl. They’ll watch you drown in humiliation if it means they are chosen.
girl i found your channel some time ago and i just wanted to say how much i love your videos!!!😭😭 i agree with your takes and im happy if i can educate myself in topics i dont know a lot about 💓💓 (due to being white)
This is unpopular opinion but I’ve always had a difficult time with the whole idea of “girls girl”. Why do we as woman have to always be supporting other woman simply because they are female. Sometimes things happen and fallouts occur. People sometimes don’t click so why do we expect all woman and even celebrities who are woman to get along. I’ve always wondered why we as woman have to be given a title as “girls girl” like why can’t we just exist and support those who we believe deserve it. I am also not saying that you should project negative or rude feelings towards those you don’t like. You cannot like someone for whatever reason but you don’t have a right to be rude to them. Not supporting another woman for valid reasons is something that should be more normalized. Some woman are just shitty people so if we don’t want to support them for their actions that doesn’t mean I’m not a “girls girl” or I don’t support all woman. On the other hand, sometimes I don’t vibe with certain women but I won’t ever say anything negative about them but I also won’t force myself to click with them just because we are all woman. If men don’t have this expectation to befriend every man they meet then why do I have to be expected to befriend every woman I encounter?
I think you missed the whole point of the video which is her saying you don’t have to like everyone, but being a mean girl or constantly bashing women online is not the trait of a good person period. She is talking quite frankly about the very women you spoke about who are not kind that’s the entire purpose of the video lol 😂 she didn’t say to support any and every woman she actually gave solid advice on vetting your friendships and choosing good people to be around you and in your circle and the difference between MEN and WOMEN is that they know how to STAY ON CODE. Even when they disagree with their actions they stay quiet
@@leiiib I did see that as the entire point of the video but every time I say everything I stated in my comment section I get attacked lol hence why I made my comment. She shared similar things I was saying in my comment. Not once in my comment did I say to bash woman you don’t like but also if you don’t connect with them that’s fine too just don’t be rude or mean to them. We can’t pretend that every person you meet you will get along with. What was different in my comment that she didn’t say in her video??
@@Mtv20O1 I wasn’t attacking you and I do apologize if I came across that way. I do think that when you said “ I have a difficult time with “a girls girl” ‘ and then speaking about celebrity women not having to like eachother which of course not everyone will like eachother, but the main point was just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have to state to everyone you don’t like this person or how many women you don’t like or how push your thoughts and feelings onto women simply because they like something or someone you don’t.
@@leiiib I get what you’re saying now. When I said that comment, I didn’t mean to infer that you should attack or be rude to woman simply because you don’t like them because that is definitely not what I wanted to say. I meant more on the fact that just because they are woman does not mean I have to force myself to befriend them or like them. I can just mind my business without needing to project any negative feelings on them. I often say this because often esp on other social medias people tend to think being a “girls girl” means having to like every single woman you meet which is very unrealistic. You don’t have to be friends with every woman but also don’t be rude to them.
@@Mtv20O1 I absolutely agree with that. sometimes people want to live in fairytales and reality is we won’t all get along and some people tend to throw out words and labels for the smallest things but as long as you’re not purposefully hurting others and being cruel then we can just respect one another and respect each others space
this video couldnt come on a better time. i like this guy and i told my "friend" & suddenly she told me she likes him too & that he started texting her. i think if she was a good friend she wouldnt make a move on him cause she knows im into the guy. i know i wouldnt do that, id never understand girls that compete with other girls.
Whts weird is when you give any complaint n it’s look at as weird. If I like your shoes outfits or saying you look beautiful today, other females around give you the side eye 👀. Pink book lesson on yt has it bad n I stumbled across her videos because a guy was saying she speaks truth. No she’s a pick me who seems like she only do videos to please guys n have self hate.
You have to be wary of when a “man” recommends content from women content and label it as her telling the “truth” because it’s usually a woman tearing down other women and tickles his ear, because they both have misogynistic views and h8t3 women.
It’s strange how some women like to project online as well like the hate Nara has been receiving, she’s beautiful minds her business and just makes content but because some are so envious and m!ser@bl3 they come up with all kind of theories as to why she shouldn’t be what they don’t want to be. No one is forcing you to be a trad-wife and you do what’s best for YOU but like you said it’s like people hate seeing women be happy in any space. I love seeing women win 💗 it’s such a beautiful thing to see women be happy, joyous and not online complaining 24/7 💕
Can someone please help me with this? I had an issue With female rivalry with my own cousin and let me just tell you I. Adore my cousin and I look up to her. She is beautiful and she is very confident. But what I don't get is when she likes to knit. Pick my appearance or highs and just makes me feel like crap about it now. I'm not perfect but I tried to strive to be a better version of myself each step of the way and it can be hard at times but let's just say for example, right? I'm over here. Trying to make myself look pretty fix my hair. My makeup and i'm on my way to spin Time with my family Eating dinner right? Now in the midst of getting ready, I want too much foundation but it wasn't on purpose because I was kind of rushing and I was trying to make my look look great. But I kinda messed up so I was like. You know what? Whatever I'm just gonna wing it and just have a confidence. Knowing that I gorgeous with or without makeup. Now in the middle of eating right and I'm over here, just making sure that everyone's having a great time. And we're just chilling and viving, but at the end of dinner, right? She says something. Like oh, you're makeup. Looks all Cake Up and I was well aware it looked at cake Up. But no one mentioned about my appearance, because they really didn't care. In in the way I just felt like. Why should this matter and why are you telling me this at the end of dinner? Why couldn't you just pull me to the sides? And say I noticed that your makeup didn't look as particular as you want it to be. Cause she is well aware that my makeup is always on point. But the ones my screw up. She wants to blurt it out to the rooftops. So the whole family can hear and I just feel like crap. It is like she was expecting A. Reaction from her boyfriend, like she was just giggling and whispering behind his ear and he was just in his own head, didn't even care. I don't know. Was I overreacting because she likes to tell me? I'm just being honest but it's like. Honesty is true because I respect the truth. And I understand the truth of hearts. But it's the fact that you humiliated me in front of everyone to make me feel like crap about it.😢 And whenever she gives me a back hand compliment, she makes it seem like I'm acting too serious because I can't take a joke and I'm feeling like. I don't think this is a joke. So I'm trying to understand and I'm the person that's overreacting. And maybe I just can't take the truth or a joke. Or what's going on? Cause i'm anyone can help me please with this😭
It’s sound as though your cousin doesn’t like you, she’s very passive aggressive and uses you as a joke to prop herself up. For her to make fun of you instead of pulling you to the side to A) Help you fix your makeup. Or B.) Tell you in private about how it looks in a honest but respectful way, shows that she was waiting for the moment that she could embarrass you in front of others. A CONFIDENT woman doesn’t need to take digs at women to make herself feel better, that’s insecure behavior and the fact that she knows it hurts your feelings like iconically said, she gets off on hurting you and she knows exactly what she is doing but she brushes it off to gaslight you. Have a long talk with her and if she deflects and doesn’t take accountability, then limit the time you spend with her to only family occasions, it’s hard but you have to put yourself first ❤💗
@@leiiib Thank you so much for your advice. Really? I appreciate it. I was thinking half of these things. And I thought maybe I was just going crazy. I might be overreacting, but I had a feeling. She must have some deeper insecurities. She hasn't talked to me about Cause I'm not a person. I would judge people by their insecurity.😌🩷 But I try to build up my confidence as much as I can so next time when this happens. I would definitely do my best to confront my family about it. Thank you again.❤️
While you do talk to her keep a voice recording because I think she will try to use that conversation against you or better get an elder you trust involved in the conversation. Also, if someone critiques you like that in public just say it was intentional. If they don't like it they should stop looking.
I felt like I was a girls girl… and the more I tried bonding with other women (especially from childhood), I saw that it really wasn’t “girl power”…. I had a “friend” who would go on rants about just disliking girls and having so much hate, even though I remembered who she chose to hang out with, the people who were visibly popular, who thrive off drama… she would sideline me, a girl that just wanted someone to play games with, so QUICK for the ones who would put her in drama & “make” her fight. As I got older I talked to her less until she started reaching out, I thought out of genuine concern, but the whole time she was going through a heartbreak :/… something I just recently got out of and was trying to help her with but ultimately I became the true problem by holding onto old shit and realizing her issues… we’re not my issues. I then ended up getting her man’s attention and I definitely was trying to steal from him, didn’t do shit but it was the time and space I gave the attention that sits with me, but I felt guilty cause that wasn’t me, I instantly revoked my “girls girl” card for that action… I live with it to this day cause we were young and I felt like a shitty person in a shitty era and now I do everything I can to just grow and recognize my wrong doings. I could have distanced myself and gave her time but I was too concerned on us “having a good time” to recognize we could have been good friends despite the past and despite any time I would have given her and myself.
I had a friend who would try to compete with me and other friends in the friend group and would try to put us down to make herself feel better. Those little jokes of hers were jabs that always made us feel bad about ourselves. Apparently other women felt that outside of our group and she’s been exposed since 🫢
I hate how women justify their disgusting behavior of sleeping with an already taken man. He is definitely to blame, but you KNOWING about it is insane to me. I could never sleep with someone else’s man, I’d feel disgusted with myself. In fact I’m telling the girlfriend or wife about wtf he’s doing. If it was me , I’d want someone to tell me so I don’t waste any more time 🤷🏾♀️
THAT PART!!! Just treacherous behavior and one thing is for certain what goes around comes around
Agreed. Some people don't like being told about infidelity because it makes them feel humiliated, that someone else knows their business or is involved when they shouldn't be. I know a situation like this, and it's MESSY.
You’ll do all that just for the psycho to still blame you 😂
I'd rather do the right thing and still get blamed than do some disgusting shit and have the blame be justified
1 Peter 2:12
@@evaphillips2102 even if she's delusional at least I don't have to join her by sharing her man.
I'm a girl's girl to my core, but I've been noticing some of these girls that shout for sisterhood are a bit off and fake. If women weren't raised to compete and center men, we would be invincible.
I think the newer generation of women are decentering men. I can feel the difference in attitude
Why can’t women just love each other I don’t understand 😩😩😩
Lack of self esteem, insecurity and jealousy. Granted not everyone will like each-other , but some women are just mean because of unresolved issues they have with themselves and pour that hate out onto other women.
@@iconicallyiconic PREACH SIS
It is because of internalized misogyny and patriarchy. That is why everything for us girls and women is a competition. And it’ll never end at all.
Like that would be the best!!
It’s not even to love women, just respect women and support women when needed😕 basic stuff frfr
I support women but I don’t like to call myself a girls girl because I feel like that comes with an expectation that I can’t always live up too.😪
Like how you can just encourage women and empower them
im not a girls girl or a guys girl (aka pick me). I have my guard up meeting anyone regardless of gender. I have come to terms that most women do not like each other and I need to watch my back. They can be just as dangerous as men.
I feel like being a girls girl is just not treating other women like competition in every aspect of life. Not taking pride in the downfall of other women.
I truly dislike the way some women are just void of accountability too, they blame everyone as to why they're so rude and h8teful to women like seriously go get some therapy and get a handle on your issues because hurting other women due to your lack of self esteem. Some women really love being mean because it makes them feel superior because they feel inferior in all other aspects of their life
SPEAK ON IT!! I said the same thing about this push for "relatability" from celebrities nobody owes you anything like I don't get how some of these women think they have the right to celebrity women simply because they bought an album 🤦🏽♀or went to a concert, you paid to see them perform and that's what they did, gave you what you paid for. they don't owe you an interview or social media posts to make you feel like you know them, why are you so obsessed with being in their personal life anyway? the art speaks for itself. It's just another excuse for some women to h*t e on other women
EXACTLY!! They do this mess to Beyonce all of the time. An artist's job is to make music not be your bff. that is what youtubers and influencers are for. I'm tired of this "relatability" era of pop culture anyways. I miss the pre social media era when people only cared about the art. And being relatable normally just means being cringey and behaving unlady like.
i just had a realization that some friends of mine and cousin act just like this. they always put me down and say wild stuff only when men are around to make themselves look better.
Girl, some family members are THEE worst and think it’s okay because they’re “family” sometimes you have to distance yourself from family members and be cordial because a stranger will treat you better. Choose you first babe 🩷
Nd it always makes them look crazy too the men see why they tryna do
@@riahhhhh500absolutely, these guys laugh but they’re really laughing at how desperate they’re for approval. They willing to lose friends and family over validation. It’s like you can’t stand out without doing all that extra low vibrational stuff. 😂
Distance yourself and keep convo super short until they leave completely.
@@chacha2321 fr!!!
Society is partly to blame for this competive streak. Most women aren't taught at a young age to have confidence in our abilities or work ethic. We're taught to put major emphasis on our looks, on our ability to score men, and marriage. It's a toxic cycle, when everyone is trying to tear you down just cause you are not insecure and they deal with their own jealousy and self-hatred.
This!!!! I mentioned this to a friend recently that hairstyles, extensions, designers, cosmetic enhancements, and false eyelashes are not aimed towards men; they are used to outshine other women. These individuals are quick to criticize your appearance if you don't possess these items - it's all about creating an exclusive club.
I hate how women see other women as competition whether romantically or otherwise. I unsubscribed from Harriyanna Hook over a disagreement that I had about her Powerpuff Girls video and her fans went after me, but the thing about her that astonished me was her hatred of conventionally attractive women because of her experiences in high school. I'm not one to invalidate someone’s negative experiences, but she has dragged pretty women just to push her negative views on beauty and the world. She does that because boys didn't like her growing up. I wasn't cool in high school, but pretty women deserve respect because I've seen pretty women having low self-esteem from traumatic childhoods and/or experiences.
Women like that are so annoying and self righteous and instead of healing they become b!tter. Acting as if someone being pretty invalidates what they've been through simply because they're dealing with their own deep insecurities
Some of these women are so t0x!c and have people who champion their t0xic behavior that they see nothing wrong with it and they also identify with that insecurity so they find a mis3r@bl3 space for them to all gather and be n a sty together lol
Sis I used to subscribe to her, but she gave me weird vibes. What you described in your comment resonates what I felt about her.
I hadn’t watched her videos for a long time due to the reasons that you said. I think I remember in one part from her Mineta video that felt body-shamey
YESSS ALLLLL OF THIS!! I am so glad I am not the only person that sees this. She is the typical fake feminist that only claims to be one because she hates men. These type of women despise women that they feel look better than them , they are not real feminists. She has made numerous videos dragging conventionally attractive women and girly girl types. She said that they only reason why people watched Totally Spies was because they were pretty and the fashion. Even her die hard stans disagreed with the video. We watched Totally Spies because of the gadgets and their fighting skills more than anything. She also claimed that we only like Azula because she's attractive which was complete BS. We like her because she is a very well written villian. And also, most of the girls in avatar were pretty so that was a very weak point. I remember her power puff girls video. She made a very strange comment about women in that video that stood out to me. During the time that that video uploaded, the trend of making yourself into a y2k cartoon was popular and the PPG was included in that. She said, "I keep seeing these mean girls making PPG cartoons of themselves which i dont get because yall did not even watch the show". Literally everyone who was a kid in the 2000s watched the same cartoons regardless of social status. She has a clear disdain for women that are pretty and overtly feminine because they remind her of the "mean girls" form high school.
I have to admit I used to be one of the girls that would be in other girls' faces laughing and smiling, while judging them in my head, or plotting on what they had, or around them out of loneliness just to say I had a friend. Luckily I grew out of it and started taking my journey to self love very seriously but the reason why girls and women like this are so dangerous is because of the lack of self-awareness. There's so much shame and self-hatred internally and they will protect their ego at all costs.
If you don't mind, why and when do you think you devaluation of women started? To do what you did requires some level of lack of empathy towards women. Why do you think you did not see yourself in other women like men do other men? No judgement at all, I have always wanted to ask someone who has the backstory you do
@@hazelbasil6451 For me, it was abuse and neglect from my mother. I adopted the relationships I saw her have with other women and the way she treated me I treated other girls because I thought that was what love is. I also adopted her lack of empathy. So it was a toxic cycle of me mistreating other women or other women mistreating me, and me not realizing any of it because I never had an example of a woman take accountability for her actions, until I became that example for myself
I once had a friend who had been dating another friend's brother but had broken it off because they just weren't right, and it seemed like everyone was still getting along until the friend/sister texts out of nowhere (I was there when it happened) accusing them for having "hurt and manipulated" their brother, saying cruel stuff like they'll never be married (not true as they are happily married today). While the situation eventually worked out, I personally dumped that person right then and there. I simply do not accept anyone talking about my friends that way.
The thing that pisses me off the most about being a “girls girl” is how they demonize anyone who doesn’t like pink or being girly and loves weird/nerdy/unconventional things. She’s automatically labeled a “pick me” or “‘not like other girls” when she’s simply being herself. Unless she bashes other woman for not liking the same things as her, there’s nothin wrong with a woman not being traditionally feminine. We can have different interests/tastes and co exist with one another.
@@sarkie3927 what I mean is, for example, a girl goes online and says “oh I love sports. I’m not really into pink or dresses it’s not me. I just like skateboarding and soccer” people in the comments will be like “oh she’s such a pick me, she just wants male attention” when she never said anything like that. She just simply stated that she like sports and doesn’t like pink or dresses
@@sarkie3927 like we use the them pick me and not like other girls to embarrass women who are quirky and weird and different and sporty, when in reality they mean woman who put others down for male attention. Just because your quirky doesn’t mean your not like other girls. We associate it with that term but a woman can be quirky and not put others down for male attention. And like wise, a woman can love sports and hanging with boys without putting other woman down or being a pick me
@@sarkie3927 yeah it different out in the real world but in terms of social media I see it everywhere, and maybe it’s just my experience but I’ve seen cases of this happening and they used these terms when it didn’t apply
Thank you for saying this! Now with the girl's girl discourse and sorority, people forget that not all women are the same. The problem with these concepts is that (even when they're rooted in great ideas) they are kind of based in preconceived notions of what women are like.
To be a girl's girl, you have to be seen as stereotypically girly and that's not everyone's cup of tea.
I don't like wearing makeup most of the time and dress more "modest" cause' I like it, but if I said this out of context online, I'd easily get called pick-me (even though I'm not looking for attention rn).
Also, wanting male attention is not wrong. Putting other people down is wrong.
@@TheYoungKilljoy you said this better than I could I’m so glad someone agrees with me
The timestamp around 7:59 hit the nail. I’ve had “friends” who only wanted to be my friend out of convenience until I discovered their internalized sexism. They got mad I called them out on it, but in the end they are aware of what they did.
I'm glad you are talking about this because I've been noticing that for a while now that a lot of women being misogynistic to each other especially other black women and they talk about this Sisterhood even though that Sisterhood doesn't exist
the sisterhood in the BC is only on social media. A lot of BW hate each other and its so sad but its the truth. The BC in general dont like BW unless they are an underdog. The hatred that they have for Beyonce proves my point. If she were a man she would be loved a lot more.
I often felt like an outsider because I’m a Tomboy at heart, but I still show my feminine side. I’m 🌈 and have sometimes dealt with women who I called ‘friends’ but started to play hot/cold with me. Like it’s sad…
I was watching this video and realizing so many of my friendships with women have been like this. They were secretly hating me, wanting a guy I was with, or got close to me to feel better about themselves. I had a friend for 10 years who set me up by giving my stalker my information and then threatening revenge porn. It has been so rough. I think for myself a lot of these patterns I’ve missed because my mom is one of those girls as well so it’s been normalized. The “jokes” and whatnot. It’s sad but I’m glad you talked about it so I can recognize it better.
OMG!!!!! This is so terrible and disgusting of her to do. I am so sorry for your experience because that is NOT okay and it’s beyond dangerous and honestly you should’ve pressed charges against her as well as a restraining order for putting your safety at risk. Sending you love and healing babe 🩷
Thank you 💓@@iconicallyiconic
This is why you can't trust some women then a lot of them are void of accountability and will still continue to be outright cruel and will never change. I'm glad women are learning the behaviors of people who just are not good people because it protects you and you don't have unnecessary drama in your life
I agree with this video and I do think some ppl use the term “your not a girls girl” as an comeback for any context where sometimes it doesn’t apply
Im not one and i have no shame in that at all. A lot of women have main character complexes and are only nice to other women that kiss their behinds. They want to be Regina and they want their friends to treat them like Gretchen. Dealing with women can be just as stressful as dating men, which is why I have decentered romantic relationships with men and platonic friendships with women.
I wouldn’t call myself a girls girl. I won’t like and support you because we share the same gender. I will like and support you because you are kind hearted, good, genuine person regardless of gender, race, sexuality...etc. I’m not going to excuse toxic, bad behavior because you are a girl. Unconditional love and support is a toxic trait that can be harmful to you, to the other person, and other people around you. I think what we should do as women more is hold each other accountable for things, but also give each other advice to be better people out of love.
That point about mean girls in high school not growing out of that behavior in adulthood is so true. I dropped all of the mean girls that I went to high school because they were toxic. One has recently tried to reconnect with me through my sibling because I do not have social media. I keep her as far as I can throw her because I know she just wants to be nosey.
Smart choice
I dislike how fake some girl's girls can be. From what i've observed in real life, alot of girls i've seen that pride themselves on supporting women, but do it with exceptions on which groups of women they support. I grew up neurodivergent and LGBTQ, and had tons of friends who were also neurodivergent and LGBTQ. There were tons of girls who would preach about women supporting eachother no matter what, but when it came to me, my friends and other girls who kind of went against social norms, they were like 'No, i know what i said, but not *those* girls.'
I already know this is going to be a great video.
To a default, we are all socialized to compete with women, even disliking them. But as one gets older, women should be able to grow out of that mindset and be more empathetic and inspiring to women instead of belittling them.
Sadly that's not the case a lot of the time. Many women carry their mean girl spirit and pick me energy into adulthood.
@@NamasteInYourLaneagreed! they actually become worse too but just hide it better
If anything I think women are socialized to be people pleasers to everyone. We are taught to be submissive to men, but we are also taught that if we do not like or want to be friends with every girl then we are a "pick me". I hold both men and women to an equal standard. Both are not to be trusted until proven otherwise.
The male equivalent of a pick me girl is the hater friend
I knew this already, but this just confirmed how fucking lucky I've been all my life. In 26 years of *only* being friends with girls/women, I never met or befriended one like the ones described in the video. And I genuinely hope it stays like this cause they scare the shit out of me. Y'all be safe 😭
Thank you, I love your videos From experience I Automatically Don't believe a person that has to get on the internet and say oh I support women.I'm a girl's girl.That's suspicious to me.That's like the same thing as someone saying.Oh i'm a good person, words don't mean nothing your actions do. Not to mention the Toxic Dynamic of Mother and Daughter competition I've seen time and time again. Granted people aren't going to like you regardless of anything you are and what they are. That's just reality, but I've seen more nasty behavior from women towards other women. Don't get me started on the grown women being rude and downright disrespectful to young women my age or worse younger. I support people that are respectful and honest 💯 ✨️
I'll be honest maybe since I'm a black woman and I've be disillusioned by white feminism disguised as feminism. I really hate the pick me/girls girl complex that women do. Women are deep and complicated in who we are and on our beliefs and how we go through life. We are not gonna get along and I despise the idea that I have to support a woman because we're the same gender or else I'm a pick me. No if I don't like a woman it's because of who she is as a person and especially if I know they won't support me. I'm very girly with a love a video games and anime I have be called a pick me for my girly and my non girly interest I don't do what I do for validation I do what I do because I want to and I like it. I try to find female friends who actually like me and want to be around me I don't do the whole mean girls frenemies thing.
First off love this video take as a girl girls it’s hard finding genuine girl friendships also Wilhelmina Slater from ‘Ugly Betty’ played by Vanessa Williams is a character known to be an a adult mean girl she plays this role very well and it’s perfect bc you see how she’s as a mother and in the work place
Vanessa was outstanding in ugly betty just got my mother to watch the show because she didn't believe vanessa could play a bad girl she's loving the show
It's embarrassing to say, but it took me having my daughter at 40yo before I really understood the importance of vetting your female friends. I started asking myself if her friends did or said the things that some of mine were doing, would I think it was ok? It was eye-opening for me.
“The Pick Me in Girl’s Clothing” …You described Coach Stormy to a T!
People don’t want to hear it but too many women are conflict avoidant.
You may not be guilty of these behaviors, but if you are witnessing them, and you are not pulling aside this woman to have a word with her, you are complicit.
Give her the courtesy of a kind correction instead of labeling that woman as a pick me and beneath you. If you don’t then she will never grow
I disagree with this because it's not the responsibility of others to teach grown adults how to be a good person you either are or aren't you can't coddle adults and you can have multiple conversations with those type of women and they see nothing wrong with their behavior and try to gaslight you to believing it's all in your head. people have to want to change on their own
I’m a girls girl.. but the heart breaking part about this is knowing that all girls aren’t girls girl. They’ll watch you drown in humiliation if it means they are chosen.
Fr
💯
girl i found your channel some time ago and i just wanted to say how much i love your videos!!!😭😭 i agree with your takes and im happy if i can educate myself in topics i dont know a lot about 💓💓 (due to being white)
Aw Thankyou honey I truly appreciate the love and support 🩷 all women are welcomed to this space for us to connect and support one another ✨💗
Don't care for being a girls girl but dang it's sad what people will do to one another.
Even if they deny it’s still thier life and not your business. It shouldn’t bother you.
Me watching this and realizing I surround myself with really great female friends😅😂😂
This is unpopular opinion but I’ve always had a difficult time with the whole idea of “girls girl”. Why do we as woman have to always be supporting other woman simply because they are female. Sometimes things happen and fallouts occur. People sometimes don’t click so why do we expect all woman and even celebrities who are woman to get along. I’ve always wondered why we as woman have to be given a title as “girls girl” like why can’t we just exist and support those who we believe deserve it. I am also not saying that you should project negative or rude feelings towards those you don’t like. You cannot like someone for whatever reason but you don’t have a right to be rude to them. Not supporting another woman for valid reasons is something that should be more normalized. Some woman are just shitty people so if we don’t want to support them for their actions that doesn’t mean I’m not a “girls girl” or I don’t support all woman. On the other hand, sometimes I don’t vibe with certain women but I won’t ever say anything negative about them but I also won’t force myself to click with them just because we are all woman. If men don’t have this expectation to befriend every man they meet then why do I have to be expected to befriend every woman I encounter?
I think you missed the whole point of the video which is her saying you don’t have to like everyone, but being a mean girl or constantly bashing women online is not the trait of a good person period. She is talking quite frankly about the very women you spoke about who are not kind that’s the entire purpose of the video lol 😂 she didn’t say to support any and every woman she actually gave solid advice on vetting your friendships and choosing good people to be around you and in your circle and the difference between MEN and WOMEN is that they know how to STAY ON CODE. Even when they disagree with their actions they stay quiet
@@leiiib I did see that as the entire point of the video but every time I say everything I stated in my comment section I get attacked lol hence why I made my comment. She shared similar things I was saying in my comment. Not once in my comment did I say to bash woman you don’t like but also if you don’t connect with them that’s fine too just don’t be rude or mean to them. We can’t pretend that every person you meet you will get along with.
What was different in my comment that she didn’t say in her video??
@@Mtv20O1 I wasn’t attacking you and I do apologize if I came across that way. I do think that when you said “ I have a difficult time with “a girls girl” ‘ and then speaking about celebrity women not having to like eachother which of course not everyone will like eachother, but the main point was just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have to state to everyone you don’t like this person or how many women you don’t like or how push your thoughts and feelings onto women simply because they like something or someone you don’t.
@@leiiib I get what you’re saying now. When I said that comment, I didn’t mean to infer that you should attack or be rude to woman simply because you don’t like them because that is definitely not what I wanted to say. I meant more on the fact that just because they are woman does not mean I have to force myself to befriend them or like them. I can just mind my business without needing to project any negative feelings on them. I often say this because often esp on other social medias people tend to think being a “girls girl” means having to like every single woman you meet which is very unrealistic. You don’t have to be friends with every woman but also don’t be rude to them.
@@Mtv20O1 I absolutely agree with that. sometimes people want to live in fairytales and reality is we won’t all get along and some people tend to throw out words and labels for the smallest things but as long as you’re not purposefully hurting others and being cruel then we can just respect one another and respect each others space
BTW, i love your videos. They're inspirational. If i started a channel, I'd want to make videos like yours. Very well put together. 🥰
this video couldnt come on a better time. i like this guy and i told my "friend" & suddenly she told me she likes him too & that he started texting her. i think if she was a good friend she wouldnt make a move on him cause she knows im into the guy. i know i wouldnt do that, id never understand girls that compete with other girls.
Whts weird is when you give any complaint n it’s look at as weird. If I like your shoes outfits or saying you look beautiful today, other females around give you the side eye 👀. Pink book lesson on yt has it bad n I stumbled across her videos because a guy was saying she speaks truth. No she’s a pick me who seems like she only do videos to please guys n have self hate.
You have to be wary of when a “man” recommends content from women content and label it as her telling the “truth” because it’s usually a woman tearing down other women and tickles his ear, because they both have misogynistic views and h8t3 women.
You touched base on good points 👍
Love this video. I can absolutely relate 💯
It’s strange how some women like to project online as well like the hate Nara has been receiving, she’s beautiful minds her business and just makes content but because some are so envious and m!ser@bl3 they come up with all kind of theories as to why she shouldn’t be what they don’t want to be. No one is forcing you to be a trad-wife and you do what’s best for YOU but like you said it’s like people hate seeing women be happy in any space. I love seeing women win 💗 it’s such a beautiful thing to see women be happy, joyous and not online complaining 24/7 💕
Preach sister!
*coughs* the clermont twins! 13:04
Can someone please help me with this? I had an issue With female rivalry with my own cousin and let me just tell you I. Adore my cousin and I look up to her. She is beautiful and she is very confident. But what I don't get is when she likes to knit. Pick my appearance or highs and just makes me feel like crap about it now. I'm not perfect but I tried to strive to be a better version of myself each step of the way and it can be hard at times but let's just say for example, right? I'm over here. Trying to make myself look pretty fix my hair. My makeup and i'm on my way to spin Time with my family Eating dinner right? Now in the midst of getting ready, I want too much foundation but it wasn't on purpose because I was kind of rushing and I was trying to make my look look great. But I kinda messed up so I was like. You know what? Whatever I'm just gonna wing it and just have a confidence. Knowing that I gorgeous with or without makeup. Now in the middle of eating right and I'm over here, just making sure that everyone's having a great time. And we're just chilling and viving, but at the end of dinner, right? She says something. Like oh, you're makeup. Looks all Cake Up and I was well aware it looked at cake Up. But no one mentioned about my appearance, because they really didn't care. In in the way I just felt like. Why should this matter and why are you telling me this at the end of dinner? Why couldn't you just pull me to the sides? And say I noticed that your makeup didn't look as particular as you want it to be. Cause she is well aware that my makeup is always on point. But the ones my screw up. She wants to blurt it out to the rooftops. So the whole family can hear and I just feel like crap. It is like she was expecting A. Reaction from her boyfriend, like she was just giggling and whispering behind his ear and he was just in his own head, didn't even care. I don't know. Was I overreacting because she likes to tell me? I'm just being honest but it's like. Honesty is true because I respect the truth. And I understand the truth of hearts. But it's the fact that you humiliated me in front of everyone to make me feel like crap about it.😢 And whenever she gives me a back hand compliment, she makes it seem like I'm acting too serious because I can't take a joke and I'm feeling like. I don't think this is a joke. So I'm trying to understand and I'm the person that's overreacting. And maybe I just can't take the truth or a joke. Or what's going on? Cause i'm anyone can help me please with this😭
It’s sound as though your cousin doesn’t like you, she’s very passive aggressive and uses you as a joke to prop herself up.
For her to make fun of you instead of pulling you to the side to A) Help you fix your makeup. Or B.) Tell you in private about how it looks in a honest but respectful way, shows that she was waiting for the moment that she could embarrass you in front of others.
A CONFIDENT woman doesn’t need to take digs at women to make herself feel better, that’s insecure behavior and the fact that she knows it hurts your feelings like iconically said, she gets off on hurting you and she knows exactly what she is doing but she brushes it off to gaslight you.
Have a long talk with her and if she deflects and doesn’t take accountability, then limit the time you spend with her to only family occasions, it’s hard but you have to put yourself first ❤💗
@@leiiib Thank you so much for your advice. Really? I appreciate it. I was thinking half of these things. And I thought maybe I was just going crazy. I might be overreacting, but I had a feeling. She must have some deeper insecurities. She hasn't talked to me about Cause I'm not a person. I would judge people by their insecurity.😌🩷 But I try to build up my confidence as much as I can so next time when this happens. I would definitely do my best to confront my family about it. Thank you again.❤️
@@squishymellowowo Always follow your intuition and put yourself first💗💗
Have you noticed if that's what her mom is like with her? And her dynamic with her friends?
While you do talk to her keep a voice recording because I think she will try to use that conversation against you or better get an elder you trust involved in the conversation.
Also, if someone critiques you like that in public just say it was intentional. If they don't like it they should stop looking.
I love your thumbnail. You’re definitely a girl’s girl❤❤❤❤. I’m a girly girl and girl’s girl for sure😊😊😊😊
great video
"Uh uh! Come again."
This was true in the 80s and 90s ALL WOMEN have each other's back. #sisterhood
Yep
I felt like I was a girls girl… and the more I tried bonding with other women (especially from childhood), I saw that it really wasn’t “girl power”…. I had a “friend” who would go on rants about just disliking girls and having so much hate, even though I remembered who she chose to hang out with, the people who were visibly popular, who thrive off drama… she would sideline me, a girl that just wanted someone to play games with, so QUICK for the ones who would put her in drama & “make” her fight. As I got older I talked to her less until she started reaching out, I thought out of genuine concern, but the whole time she was going through a heartbreak :/… something I just recently got out of and was trying to help her with but ultimately I became the true problem by holding onto old shit and realizing her issues… we’re not my issues. I then ended up getting her man’s attention and I definitely was trying to steal from him, didn’t do shit but it was the time and space I gave the attention that sits with me, but I felt guilty cause that wasn’t me, I instantly revoked my “girls girl” card for that action… I live with it to this day cause we were young and I felt like a shitty person in a shitty era and now I do everything I can to just grow and recognize my wrong doings. I could have distanced myself and gave her time but I was too concerned on us “having a good time” to recognize we could have been good friends despite the past and despite any time I would have given her and myself.
You're so inspire
10:23 what is the name of the movie?
Jawbreaker 💕
@@Princessdollamanda Thank you love💙🩵🩷💜
I think this is why I literally have no girlfriends…I can’t keep up with all the stigmas. I’m a loner at heart lol
This was the topic that needed to be addressed! Thank you for this alter call 🫶🏾
I had a friend who would try to compete with me and other friends in the friend group and would try to put us down to make herself feel better. Those little jokes of hers were jabs that always made us feel bad about ourselves. Apparently other women felt that outside of our group and she’s been exposed since 🫢