AITA for sexism against my children?
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You are so fucking sexist and rude
"I wouldn't trade them in for anything" except for a daughter
My thoughts exactly
OH GREAT HEAVENS
my grandparents wanted a Boy and a Girl...yet got 3 girls and boy. guess why. same for my Cousin who has 8 girls and One boy. this happens often. it's not vile. others didn't want children at all. yet have one. others wanted two der have 3.
none of that is hurtful or traumatic.
@@frijofroisdeern3783the reason itself for having more kids for a gender isn’t vile, but it is extremely hurtful and traumatic for a mother to specifically say that to their young child. I cannot fathom how that’s not obvious to you.
Mom was just getting revenge for the daughter
That’s crazy, 1 upset child, ends up with 3 upset children
Yeah! This would cause issues between the brothers and how they feel about their sister. The love of siblings is strong, but if I found out I wouldn't be here if my sister had been born first, I'd 100% (especially at that age) feel awful and not want to be around my sister anymore
Can't forget angry husband too
@OmegaDiavolo lol that's why they said 3
@@RelaxingForLifehow is he the child in this situation?
@toby-nq9di
My mom said that if I was born first I would have been an only child…and I completely understand😂
How to get you children to not talk to you 101
“Why dont my sons ever talk to me after i told them i never even wanted to have them and that i told them they were a mistake??? 🥺”
@@F0urxy or
“Why do my sons never talk to me, all I did was tell them they weren’t wanted, I’m such a victim, they must be just foolish people 🥺😤”
@@Munchkinnn. or "Why will my sons never come home for thanksgiving after I told them when they were kids that I didn't actually want them 🥺"
Tune in for this week's episode of "Who's! Going! To the Retirement Home!"
Who the fuck straight up tells their kids they never wanted to have them??
Really messed up people. My mother once said that she wouldn't have gone through the trouble of having me if her husband (my dad) had been more decisive. Well here's the funny thing. My dad has never told me that or made me feel he regrets My being born. But those AH words seriously messed up my mental health for weeks before I could turn things around. I even asked my dad if what she said was true and why he didn't say anything - ofc he said because the situation was too heated to interfere, but he has never said such words or regretted my existence.
You'd be surprised. I know someone who told her daughter she wanted 2 boys instead of a boy and a girl. And growing up she really treated her daughter like she was lesser than her brother
My mother, kind of?
I was about 5, I asked her if she could buy a toy or whatever, and she went on a rant on how her and my dad don't have money and I should be more grateful. At some point she said what I'll never forget: "Don't you think I wouldn't be better without you? That I wouldn't have more money without you?"
Like, ma'am, I know I was unplanned but you didn't needed to crap on me like that. Every kid asks for a lot of toys, just say you don't have money right now, that maybe you'll consider it for my bday/Christmas and move on like every reasonable parent. I was 5, that raging spiteful lecture and making me cry was uncalled for.
@@gabrielabatista6016nuh uh, that's crazy. Why didn't she get an abortion if she didn't want you and she was struggling?
@@Iwanttoblowmybrainsoutrn Probably because she believes they're bad and killing an innocent life. Which, fair?
The real question was why she never gave me up for adoption if it was such a big deal. Plus, it's not like we were struggling to survive or something; we didn't had a life of luxury but we lived on my grandma's house so no rent (plus my mom loves her MIL, so no problem here either), we never lacked food, water, power or any basic comfort due to a lack of money.
It's also not like I was a bratty entitled kid, had she explained it I, would've understood. Might've asked why a couple of times and be a little disappointed, but I wouldn't have thrown a tantrum (I had tantrums like, maybe 3 times during my whole childhood, if that). So she had literally 0 reason to yell at me like that except that she was stressed with work and I ticked her off at the wrong moment so she decided to explode and unload all her stress on me like I was her little verbal punching bag; as she always did. (¯―¯٥)
She's not always a bitch, but she has anger issues that she only recently had learned to manage. Most of my life she was a ticking bomb, one wrong move and BOOM. Sometimes you didn't even knew something would be a wrong move until it was too late.
Op deleted the post and their reddit account. Truly beautiful.
GOOD
She's a horrible mother. As a mom I would never tell my son I didn't want him... the gender is so incredibly irrelevant. You love your child.
Nice! It appears that the Reddit species has done its job again.
I get told i wasnt planned all the time. NEVER have i been told i wasnt wanted and my parents arnt exactly doing great with tge parenting thing @@keroki932
Damn! I wanted to go look at the comment section 😂
How does a GROWN WOMAN say something like this and, even with hindsight, still not realize how wrong it is
Usually narcissists. I get it its an over used term yet people like the OP keep
Fitting the description
Easy. She’s a made up character designed to reinforce any subconscious misogyny the reader/listener might have.
@@vr8921 yea known someone that was like that. Sociopathic Narcissist hated their son's existence and is utterly shocked when the son never came back after he turned 17.
Why are you guys acting like what she did was the most horrible thing you could’ve said to a child this is on same level of you were not planned or we weren’t going to have any more kids but then you happened and honestly they were going to find out eventually once the boys ask where we planned or at a party when the mom tipsy and is telling the story about her kids
@@Sophia-maria woman say bad thing to man, woman bad, misogynists on internet happy, biases confirmed!
Basically, it’s a made up story to make sexist people happy.
"You were accidents, we only wanted your sister. Wait, why are you running?"
“Son, why are you calling CPS?”
Ah yes! Telling ur kids they are a mistake! Perfect parenting!
Sorry but *perfect
My mom did this
Cried myself to sleep for weeks and still haven't gotten over it years later
@@nathanbrown7906omg that’s horrible. Hope your doing good now
@@HazardousBgirl I only exist do to a broken condom
I was one too.
You know, she's describing it like she's surprised that was that hurtful to them, but how the hell were they supposed to react to that? That's a straight up soul-shattering thing for a kid to hear. God, i hope those kids get some good therapists
She knew it would hurt them, that's why she said it; she just wants to seem innocent and clueless to the situation in order to get into less trouble
@@happyswife427 oh those boys will remember and it's going to be beautiful when they make her pay.
I know because I've been in their shoes
Same
@@drunklink350 you’ve bullied your little Sister the point of tears, and told her that nobody wanted her? Maybe you deserved it.
They made her cry, and said that nobody wanted her because she was the last one.
This might legitimately be worse than the parents who tell their children that they were an accident
My sisters and I knew we were accidents - my parents were young. Honestly, most pregnancies aren’t planned. If the thought that your parents didn’t f*ck with the intention of conceiving you makes you emotionally damaged you need to toughen up.
And yes, this is a horrible thing to say to a kid.
The only thing that ive heard that tops that is "Yeah I never really wanted her (my best friend) in the first place so you guys can just keep her" and thats how my best friend became my adopted sister at 16. This was after my best friend was kicked out for defending herself against physical abuse that landed her in the hospital with a severe concussion. Given to her by the very same MONSTER that told us we could "keep her" like she was an unruly pet.
I was a complete accident (my mom did want me tho) it made me feel a lot like a mistake and that i shouldnt exist especially when i was struggling with mental health ( i still am and every now and then the thought will appear) my parents love me though and theyre glad that i exist
They always say surprise instead of accident lmao (also i dont think the way they told me was rlly bad but yeah telling a kid that can rlly mess them up mentally)
@@trixiebewitchedWTF DID YOU CALL LIKE CPS OR THE POLICE WTH
Lots of memories fade, but that conversation is the kind of thing that stays forever. Those two boys had a mental knife plunged into them. Surely there could have been a better way to address them bullying their sister.
Reminds me of when my dad said that he wished that he had all boys when I was fighting with my dad as a teen. Never say you wish your child was born differently. I'm 35 and still remember how hurt I felt.
I had some very wicked and hurtful things said to me when I was a teenager that showed me that I was of no consequence to my family, especially my adoptive mother. I can still see the look on her face, hear her tone of voice, and feel her slaps on my face and body. Although it happened more than 45 years ago it is something I will NEVER forget! Not because I don’t want to forget, but because when I close my eyes at night, most nights I relive it. Years of counseling have helped me in so many other ways, unfortunately not with this. Some scars are just too deep. ❤❤❤
"They were bullies." Yeah, I wonder who they learned that from! 🙄
I doubt they bullied their golden child sister as much as OP claimed.
I'd bet you're right about that too. It was "funny" hearing her call them bullies when she so clearly models bullying behavior herself. @@LunaP1
Your bet doesn't mean shit here@@LeavesofLilac
@@LeavesofLilac kinda true tho she acted like she was the victim and was wondering why calling someome mistake was bad
its bullying
but again like most time kids are kids they do stuff they regret later when they grow up |
but if she really gets to be with them and act like this all the time she might really turn then to be into bullies
I mean, you gotta hand it to her. She didn't just ruin her personal relationship with her sons. With one swoop, she managed to:
1. Make both the boys feel unwanted and unloved
2. Destroy their relationship with not just her, but their father as well
3. Made sure the kids won't have a healthy sibling relationship with each other at least until they are in late 20s (if they're lucky that is)
4. Made sure the daughter feels guilty for bothering to complain about the bullying because when she gets slightly older and sees what her complaining did to her brothers, do you think she's ever going to speak up ever again whenever something bad happens to her?
Very efficient indeed. Destroyed the whole family with one line.
All this instead of just saying "Hey, she's your little sister. As big brothers, your job is to make sure other boys don't bully her instead of bullying her yourself." This was a situation that could have been handled so easily. And there were several wrong ways to approach it and I think she selected the worst possible approach.
"I wouldn't trade them in for anything in the world" Then proceeds to state that they wouldn't exist if their daughter was the firstborn. The irony.
Both things can be true. The issue is admitting it to the kids, especially in an already emotionally charged/volatile moment such as this
@@aaron4876I think you mean admitting it to immature kids. Part of being mature and grown is understanding where their parents were coming from which even the commenter we're both replying to failed to do
They aren't mutually exclusive. My mum wouldn't be here if my aunt hadn't passed as a baby, my mum was very much told this so by my grandparents. She still loves them and she actually understands this, even tells me about it. My entire existence is also banking on the fact my aunt died as a baby 😂
@@gachatana9656that is also the case for my mother. She also was born because her sister died young.
My mom was only born because the sister directly older than her (there were 7 children in the family already) had polio and a Dr told my grandparents that they couldn't have the youngest also be the medically disabled child so they needed one more.
the mom: "oh no! my kids are bullying their sister! lemme just casually tell them that I didn't want them."
also the mom: "oh no! why don't they want to talk to me??"
"Why did my kids go no contact"
"Don't Bully the only kid we actually wanted. Wait why are you upset with me?" Bruh
Correct!
Everyone trying to justify op’s behavior is either a bad parent or had a bad parent
I wonder if they were bullying because they were just being little dicks or if they already kind of resented her for being the favorite. If they were already picking up on the vibes, maybe this was just confirmation
Bruh they had to find out the truth eventually and also why husband get mad at her for telling the truth
@@Tristbop.No, they never HAD to find out the truth.
Kids are bullies, parents shouldnt be.
The mom did what the boys were doing to the girl. If you can't swallow the medicine don't give it to someone else
Kids shouldn't be either but it's worse for parents
@@ItsWeskinTimeeee
The kids are just that Kids. She is a grown ass woman who just told her kids that she never wanted them and if she had had her way they would have never existed.
This coming from the youngest and only girl who was picked on and told she was adopted and whos real parents were aliens and polar bears, by said older brothers... turns out they were partially correct.
Kids are kids, they pick on each other, they mess with their siblings. I bet the litte girl purposely annoyed them all the time, it's what siblings do. Parents are supposed to be above bullying their children. tell them to knock it off and leave their sister alone, end of conversation
@@ItsWeskinTimeeeethe problem is that she was serious when she told them that. Now they have to go through life knowing that their sister was the one their parents really wanted and that they just happened to have been born.
Agreed! She should've told them that she loved them equally and had three kids because they wanted three kids, and if they didn't drop it they'd be losing privileges for X amount of time. You address the bad behavior, not respond with nastiness of your own.
She is the kind of person who always laments that her sons never call or visit.
“WhY dId mY sOnS aBaNdOn Me In
A rEtIrEmEnT hOmE AnD nEvEr EvEn ViSiT? I wAs SuCh A gOoD mOtHeR tO tHeM!”
age 10 ‘why don’t my kids talk to me’
age 20 ‘why don’t my kids call me’
age 30 ‘why am i in the retirement home’
“Aita for telling my kids I never wanted them in the first place?” Like I’ve literally never seen a post where a person is this blind to there own actions.
Not only will that stick with her sons for their entire life, but they will resent instead of appreciating their sister. Send them to their rooms, let them know treating their sister this way won't be tolerated, take the daughter out for something special to feel appreciated, do not ever tell your child you didn't want them (even in a roundabout way)
I cannot emphasize how badly this hurts kids in the long run. I struggled in my teen years because my dad told me often enough that my mom giving birth to me was the reason he dropped out of college and he wished he hadn't had to. He said it often enough and vehemently enough that I knew he hadn't wanted me. And he didn't even say it outright!!!
@@neya2965Your case is totally different from OP so don't compare them. OP didn't blame her boys for her not being able to do anything. She simply stated the truth. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love them now. She just unfortunately made them too soft. My mum tells me and my sister the story about how she never wanted any girls. She even burst into tears each time she found out because she thought girls were super stressful to raise. Now we're super close and she loves us to death. We didn't get into a bitch fit abd swear at her when we heard this. We didn't use it as an excuse to swear at abd disrespect her. We used our brains and understood that people want certain genders in children and some no children at all for a reason. They have a right to their feelings and it doesn't change the here and now. It doesn't change the fact that our mothers CHOSE to keep us, take care of us and love us. They could have conveniently gotten an abortion or gave us away but they didn't and that counts for everything in my opinion. I don't knkw if your mom also insinuates what your dad does but if she doesn't then that's all that matters. If she does then I'm sorry but just remember, you didn't ask to be born and they don't get to be trash to you for their choices.
⬆️⬆️
@@Ebunoluwa13 And neya's father also simply 'stated the truth' since we are downplaying things. As it turns out, telling your kid "I didn't even want you" in order to smack them down is a monsterous thing to do.
Even if OP is now happy to have them and didn't intend any actual harm, this was all but the worst way to tell them.
Something like this should only ever be said after expressing joy that they came first, as she might have missed out on them if they hadn't. Not in order to hurt them as a lesson.
100% TA.
@dmansam7716 the old it doesn't matter that they did the same to their sister even when asked repeatedly to stop its only bad since the bullies have hurt feelings. The dad should have stepped in too where was he when they were bullying their sister and not listening to their mom to stop? They were old enough to dish it when the sister was crying, but now that they hypothetically may not have been born, they wanna cry about it 🤷🏾♀️.
She basically told her sons, "You weren't good enough, so we kept going until we got the child we wanted." and, of course, it wasn't due to something that they could change or make up for.
This was a grown woman, telling her own children something awful. Kids are known to be immature because they're kids. She's an adult, and one which kids look towards in order to learn about the world. This was abysmal behavior from someone who should've known better. Feeling such a thing is human, but you never, EVER verbalize it to your child.
"I only wanted a girl" that line alone is fucked up. Saying that can seriously fuck up a kid.
And the damage has been done, those kids are never gonna forget that, and they'll grow up knowing their mom didn't actually want them. No matter what else she does or says, they'll always have that interaction in the back of their heads. And now that they're aware, they'll notice every single small detail that back up that point.
At best, their relationship with their mother will simply carry that black mark. At worst, those kids are gonna have a complex for life about being undesired by products that will hurt then forever.
Dang, Mom. Are you Jack Frost? Cause that was cold.
What a way to tell your sons that they were unwanted and were just collateral damage in your journey to having a daughter.
I guess we know who the golden child is.
It’s the truth tho. 🤷🏻♀️
@@MissAyame89 Doesn't make it better. Actually makes it worse. The OP only cares about the daughter no matter how much she tries to deny.
You don't go through the trouble of having more children just so you can get the "right" child if you love all your kids equally. And saying "we had to try 3 times", and "I only wanted a girl" makes it obvious that the boys are an afterthought to her.
@@cevanbrown2314 you can love your dining chairs equally, even if you sit just in the one that has a good view of the TV.
@@anne-vc7bg me using your example, the chair that has the best view of the tv, would be your preferred seat. Meaning anytime you came to the dinning room you would prefer to spend your time in that seat. You love all of your dinning room chairs but would prefer to be in that seat bc it gives you a better feeli ng due to its abilty to give you a better view of something you desire i.e the tv. Thats favoritism.
i really don't know what she thought was gonna happen when she literally told her children that they aren't wanted 😭
Exactly! Did she really expect them to just be like "Huh, mom never wanted us. she wanted a girl. Anyway, hop on Fortnite and get the doritos."
@@rjryder1798LMAOOO😭😭
“Ahh yes. Our mom told us we were a MISTAKE and that she never wanted us. Anyways *sibling* wanna go play roblox together?”
I feel so bad for OP’s family. She probably just destroyed the boys relationship with their sister. And now her husband has to clean up the mess that she made. I hope he divorces her and gets full custody of all of the kids.
I hope she barely sees her daughter honestly. Favouritism is so stupid 💀
YES!!! Yes YTA. Don’t be surprised if your kids go LC or NC as soon as they move out. In what world do you think it’s okay or not hurtful to tell your children they’re unwanted?
That was REALLY inappropriate to say to them
Making your kids feel unwanted is a great way to permanently fracture that relationship in ways you can't even imagine until it's too late
Like they did to their sister?
@@tyannarich2145Those are kids being mean kids. If you have siblings, that certainly isn't the first or last time you'd hear a remark like that considering all their ages. But the mom took it too far, as the adult in the situation she then attacked two young boys saying she never wanted them, just a girl. That's much more damaging than what the brothers were saying, no they weren't any better but they were kids. She's a grown adult, aware she's in the wrong. That's why she deleted the original post and her account
@@alejandraalcantar679 so the daughters feeling mean less because she didn't throw a tantrum? They literally said she should be given away. Yes her response was bad but don't act like those little shits were cherubs. Kids are kids sure but kids can still be assholes. It's just that this time their feelings got hurt. They understood the word stop and didn't care.
@@tyannarich2145Sooooo, what now? These 2 little kids just need to "get over it" and go back to normal with this woman? Please let us know how YOU believe they should feel and deal with this. I don't know a 40 year old who could handle their mom saying this. The boys are emotionally scarred and now KNOW that they are inferior to the sister in BOTH parents' hearts. Getting this toxic waste out of their heads will be like getting pee out of a swimming pool. This little seed of "not being wanted by the person who gave you life" will grow and grow on a subconscious level without them even noticing. If therapy isn't implemented NOW and continued for a long time...😬😬😬😬
@@inacook2285 is that what I said? No. My mom also wanted a son, and I know that if my older brother hadn't died, I more than likely wouldn't have been born. My mom has all the girls. I wanted a little brother, but I got my little sister. Did either of us throw a tantrum? No. Did we curse our mother for what she wanted? No. Did we understand that what you want isn't always what you get? Yes. Did we learn early on that you make get what you didn't want in life but what you did receive my be better and you grow to love it anyway? Yes.
I never said that she shouldn't have said it. Nor did I say that they should just get over it. I did say that they were saying shitty things to their sister and making her question her place in the family, when it got turned around on them.
They all need an attitude adjustment.
AITA saying that my children are mistakes and I only wanted a girl so I ruined their whole view of me? Yes you are
If OP is just gonna be a bad parent why even BE a parent 💀
@@F0urxy true💀
@@F0urxy because some people thought it’d be easier and they’d have angels/an angel that is everything they could ever want
That’s wild OP thought they were in the right 💀
Welp, she really just gave those boys a reason to dislike their sister. What the mom said was not only upsetting but also showed the boys that they were practically unwanted, they're gonna spend the rest of their lives believing that you love their sister more and that's gonna make the boys jealous of their sister leading to an unhealthy relationship between the kids.
"You know you'll come to realize family is one of the most important things in life, be kind to your sis so she stays around." ❌❌❌❌❌
"You were all failures, I didnt want any of you" ✅✅✅✅
Best explanation ive seen so far
Are you a fanatic of a psycho Patrick Bateman?
Andrew Tate is obsessed with s*x. Is he obsessed with his own daughter?
I don't like you
Great u made ur sons hate you, and their sister 💀
Edit: I don't want to be that person that's like "omg ty sm for all these likes *insert tragic backstory*" but OMG THANK U FOR ALL THESE LIKE *insert tragic backstory*
My parents would spank me for bullying my siblings. In this day and age disciplining children is considered abuse. If i was op i would spank my boys
Better teach them boys, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
They can hurt their little sis but can’t be told the truth ummm 🧐 no wonder some many of you can’t handle the truth. Smh
@@BellaR. You must have been the golden child 😂
@@BellaR. Yeah you are definitely a single kid are you, all sibling are like this, I’m the middle child and I’ve been through this, it isn’t that deep, especially to tell your kids that
@BellaR. They are children. They are still learning how to behave properly. Instead of teaching them to be kind, their mother taught them how to be even more hurtful. She is an evil person.
My mother told me she'd never wanted another girl when I was in my 30s. It explained her attitude towards me for my whole life but still devastated me. I can't imagine how much more devastated I would have been to be told this as a child. What an ah move.
When the kids being AHs is a genetic issue👀👀👀
"Why don't my kids ever want to see me? 😒🥺"
Because you made them feel like you don't want to see them yourself.
Why do so many kids say this? 🤣 The parents won’t be asking this. They don’t care.
@@MissAyame89 Nah, narcissists love saying that crap while pretending they were great parents. Like those people who are always complaining that no one wants to date them even though they're "so nice".
@@MissAyame89you are still a kid aren't you? So disconnected from the world😂
❤
If your children are bullies, maaaaybee they learned that from you bullying them.
My thoughts exactly!!
Or their friends
And she will be back in 6 years wondering why her sons want nothing to do with her.... smh
When my mum admitted to me that I was a mistake, it lowered my self worth and increased self blame. Every child deserves to be treated with equal love, planned or unplanned.
She IS a nut job for saying that. Those are your boys you “wouldn’t trade” are YOUR boys. You’re supposed to love them even if they weren’t planned. Telling them that is truely shattering to hear at any age. Horrible mother
Exactly! As a middle child, I have siblings and this sort of "bullying" is completely common and normal. Yes to the point of tears is a little much, but they're all still just kids. A brother saying to his sister that she should be put up for adoption is in no way the same thing as a *parent* telling their kids something like this.
(I do agree with you I'm just adding this on) 😊
@@toby-nq9di I’m a middle child as well, I completely agree with what you’re saying
@@toby-nq9diwhy people are so evil?
It is impossible (for a woman) to love unplanned children
@@user-ze9vv4fr2o No??
‘Aita for telling my sons I didn’t want them?
Edit: I’ve got no clue what happened in the reply’s but y’all need to calm down
@Nova666ss"Aita for telling immature boys who were joking that my daughter is the favorite and that I never wanted them?"
@Nova666ss you can tell your son's not to be assholes without telling them they're mistakes💀they're just kids
@Nova666ssprotecting the daughter by telling the sons they're unwanted, amazing parenting
@Nova666ss are you stupid? Literal children pick on her once, which the mother admits, so she basically tells them she didn’t want them and loves their sister more. Some obviously stupid picking that’s been done only once is nowhere near to deserving the op’s response. Not only that but one of the boys would clearly be more likely to commit suicide for what the mother said than the daughter for being picked on once
@Nova666ssWhen I was 10 my siblings could say anything to me and it would hurt about 0.00000000001% of how much it would hurt if my mum said it lol
“Am I the asshole for telling my kids I only wanted their sister and never wanted my other kids?”
Yes, you are 💀
YES, that’s basically telling them they are a disappointment for their gender.
my mom told me that "i was the best birth control she could ever have," basically saying that i behaved so awfully that they never wanted another kid. it's absolutely ruined me to know that they didn't have any other kids because of me. i couldn't imagine how much more it hurts to know that they were the "mistake" children before getting to the one they wanted. i'd cut off contact the second i moved out
Sounds like you were an obnoxious and unbearable child. Good luck with that attitude...
I'm so sorry. Your mom is horrible.
Damn I got told about the same thing on top of my mom saying that she wished she had someone else's kid as her daughter instead. Still stuck living with my parents but bf and I are saving up for a space immediately after finishing college. Here's to our healing 🍻
Sorry about that dude. Would you like a vertual hug? Or are you not a hugger- I get it either way
I was only blessed with on bio child but if you were mine no matter what you did I would love and want you as my child. I would give anything to have had more than one child. I got step kids and "adopted" kids and over 70 foster kids. I am grandma to 56 and counting only 3 biological. But there is always room in my heart for 1 more.
My older brother has always held a grudge towards me for being the only girl and I never understood why. Come to find out my dad had always wanted a girl
An acquaintance once said to me that in Africa a father defl*wers his daughter
My brothers tormented me because I got "more attention" due to my genetic conditions and complex disabilities. They even admitted as adults that they resented me for my disabilities.
One told me, as adults, I shouldn't have survived birth because I needed medical intervention and if I hadn't been around everyone would have been happier. I was like 29 at the time. People can be absolutely horrible.
.
@@sagesufferswell they are not brothers, they are pieces of shit
@@sagesufferswell they are not brothers, they are pieces of shit
@@sagesufferswell My siblings have always resented me for literally no reason, I'm the middle child and my parents didn't give me as nearly as much support or attention as them. They've said some pretty messed up stuff to me ever since I was small and even egged me on to delete myself as recently as this year, despite that we're all adults now. My closest friends growing up were not any better. Who needs enemies when I had my family and so-called friends to thank for all of my self esteem and trust issues, as well as my severe depression and anxiety. But yeah, people just suck in general and I actually get extremely shocked when I meet people who are actual kind and thoughtful.
It doesn’t matter if they were bullies??? Your a grown woman, act like it.
OP doesn't deserve to be a mother.. I am 21 but I still remember clearly my mother telling me that if I (first born) were a boy then it would have been great.. which still hurts to this day .. My younger brother has always been the favourite child of her .. Parents like this does not know how much depth their words carry
My mom said something similar to me. I was fighting with my brother. She said if my brother had been born first, they wouldn’t have had any more kids.
Horrible mom
But this didn't happen, as her husband was preoccupied with sticking his pen*s into every hole
Haha funny, I just would have assumed that it’s because the brother is such an awful child that they didn’t wanna take the risk to get a similar child again 😂
@@Elizabeth-wl8vo still not funny.
Ask your mother to kill you because she is so upset by your behavior
I love how Reddit absolutely obliterated her off the platform
I would have loved to have read the comments on this one
Honestly? She was just looking for a reason to say “Hah! I was right!” From people online to make her sons and husband the asshole instead. I know this is a bit rude but I’m glad she’s off the internet because if she thinks that’s how normal people act she needs a reality check. Her youngest is now not only “bullied” (as the eldest of 5 kids I doubt that it was more than just banter. I threaten to disown my siblings near daily as a joke. They know it’s a joke too) by her elder brothers but now animosity is going to spread like a wildfire because those boys are going to feel unloved and now see every action from their parents as love for the kid they “wanted” and the dismissal for the “unwanted”.
@@threeducksinatrenchcoatRight? This is definitely going to cause not only a rift between her and the boys, but the sons and the daughter as well.
How did she think that "You should be grateful to your sister for being born" was going to fix things instead of making them worse? She basically told them to their face who the favorite is. They'll never look at their sister the same way again.
@@kaivaughn7319 Exactly! If she was “bullied” before she certainly will be now unless they talk it out (but I doubt this family will get through the conversation without the mom being rude or someone in tears).
"no, no. Let her cook"
Bro tried to teach her children not to bully each other but just ended up bullying them 😭 that’s not disciplining them it’s just hurting them
YTA. My mom told me that her and my dad just wanted one boy but unfortunately I was born first. My dad never said this and has always made sure that he involved both me and my brother in everything he did with us. My mom obviously favored my brother by blowing off all of my sports game and ballet but going to all of my brother's games growing up. My dad went to everything for both of us. I'm sure your kids are mad at you and picking on their sister because you display obvious favoritism to your daughter.
Ok then why didnt your Dad favour you at lest a bit the balance that out?
@@alexlehrersh9951because it sounds like he is a decent man who loves all his kids the same like he should, who happens to be married to a jerk. He should’ve told the mom to knock it off and treat her kid right, but maybe he tried and it didn’t work
@@alexlehrersh9951Um... He did? They literally said that dad went to everything for both this commenter and their brother.
Nopehe should have treated OP better than the brother. So then their would be a balance@@Brit626
It’s interesting to see what is the girl kid version of a boy mom. I don’t get people who have kids but specifically want one sex
that’s why parents honestly need to find a way to be numb to some of their emotional reactions. she took it personally that they were bullying their sister - and she took her emotions out on them as “punishment”. but it’s not “punishment” - it’s emotional abuse bc they are kids and she needs to be the adult. she needed to use common sense with them, not create a hypothetical situation to hurt them.
And what about the severe trauma of being repeatedly maliciously bullied? And then being IGNORED by the males in the family, for simply existing? Is nobody considering the daughter's position in any of this?
@matidavisbro im the youngest of 3 by my mother and 2 others by my father and another woman im only close to 1 of them in age and spentmy life being the second in everything he did he would do shit to me and they would go oh he didnt do that lettng shit just go past leads t resentment i dont hatehim but he hates me we are family but he would raher talk wit strangers than to me hehates people in general thats how just letting it handle itself went she decided than rather than kicking their asses like she probably shoupd have and would've happened in my situation my family isnt abusive at least for my generation and very loving but her deciding to say what she said was a betterlesson how does it feel to hear something you dont like now look at the person you were doing it to repeatedly even when asked to stop yes it could be more t the story but you need to realize if you let shit like that just sit it doesnt end well and they might go from bullying to ostracized real quick
@@ladyofthemasqueof course the sons are wrong for bullying her but OP basically saying (or what they probably thought) “I wish I never had you” is outright abusive. Also, continuously trying to have another baby just to have a certain gender is an awful idea and not fair to the other kids.
@@ladyofthemasque There is nothing in this story that mentioned the daughter got "repeatedly maliciously bullied". She had a rough day with her siblings, that shit happens. Then the mother took her anger out on the boys and planted a huge target on her daughers back.
So no, the daughter does not need any consideration, because this isn't about her. She is just having to suffer the consequences of a horrible mother.
@@ladyofthemasqueOp said they don’t normally bully her and that they adore her. Well they used now they hate. Which may lead to actual bullying. Poor kids.
She pulled out the truth no jutsu, that's foul
Definitely TA. One of the cruelest and evilest things a parent can do is tell their child their very existence is a mistake. The impact it has on a child is traumatic.
How the actual fuck did OP expect their kids to react? “Wow, mom said she never wanted to have us and that we are a mistake. Im gonna go make icecream do you want any mom, dad, sis n bro?”
@@F0urxyOr “Wow, mom, thanks for telling me! I’ll be so good from now on!”
FEMALE DOG YOUR CAR IS SO GETTING KEYED.
God, I hope dad could at least get them to not hate their sister for what their mom said. Girl doesnt deserve to be ignored and left out just cuz their mom is shit at mediating.
Yes.
Bruh it’s not that’s serious what she said is on the same level of what they said to there sister
@@Tristbop. You couldn't be more wrong. If you tell your sibling that they're adopted, that could easily be shrugged as teasing. BUT, if your own MOTHER told you that your existence was irrelevant and that you wouldn't have existed if your sibling was born first, that hits right at the core.
I bet the girl is spoiled rotten too, only for being a girl. It happened with my sister for being the youngest. This mum is not shit at mediating, she's shit at parenting
@@Tristbop.You must be a child or a bot. Adults are more intelligent than this
YTA YOU WANTED A DAUGHTER SO BAD YOU HAD TWO KIDS THAT YOU CLEARLY DONT WANT
Nothing pisses me off more than parents that view children as accessories
Imagine siblings teasing each other so the mom comes out with “ well if she were first we would have never wanted you” that’s crazy
I’m not saying what she did is right but two teenage boy bullying a teenage girl and telling her she’s unwanted and should get put up for adoption while she’s crying isn’t “teasing” that’s verbal abuse. If the girl was a little annoyed then it’d be trash but the fact that she cried means what they said actually hurt so that’s bullying
@@GonBon1they're not really teenagers. 1 is a kid and 2 are tweens. They're in the middle and not quite teenagers in maturity and age.
@GonBon1 she said herself they were playing she only called it bullying when she was attempting to excuse her sh!t behavior. Kind of like you!
@@GonBon1 that is not verbal abuse in the slightest. Wayyy over dramatic
@@GonBon1 i agree, a lot of the comments are brushing over that they're wanting to put her up for adoption. that's cruel.
yta - they are kids. You should have dealt with the situation way better. Kids remember and you are responsible for their behaviour.
They will remember that for the rest of their lives, and they will build resentment towards their sister. They now know that they were never wanted and that hurts more than you can imagine
Knowing you’re not wanted hurts more than knowing you weren’t planned ngl
Hypocrisy at its finest. "I wouldn't trade you BUT if your sister were born first you wouldn't exist." Wonderful mother 😀👍🏻
I wouldn't be surprised if those boys grow up to hate their sister and mother and essentially emotionally disown both of them no longer considering them family. How would you feel if you're parent basically told you you only exist as a mistake? Christ...this dad needs a divorce
Ehh the dad probably will loose feeling for the OP but will loose the feelings wayyy faster now because of that, if she does anymore shit like this then yeah, he probably will think about a divorce and end up divorcing her quick
Divorce her and take the boys. She clearly didn't want them. Disgusting.
Saddest thing the sister would be hated for existing. Growing to hate their sister for what their mother hated them for.
Yes, she is TA. OP should grab any parenting book and look up what emotional scars occur when a parent calls the child "a mistake" and then consider how much worse it is now that she called them "a worthless mistake"
She does have a parenting book! Hers is simply titled, “How to be a Shit Parent”.
@@YogiTheOne the fact that I died laughing at this and came back just to say this-
Wait did I miss something? She didn’t call them a worthless mistake.
@@user-lm8ky7tl8i not in those direct words, but child psychologists will agree that a parent telling their child that they came out the wrong gender would render the same emotional scars as when a parent says their child was "a mistake when the condom broke." But it is still salvageable by assuring the child that they wouldn't trade them for the world.
What she did was take it a step further by saying that the boys came out the wrong gender so they kept trying. Emotionally speaking, that's telling your kids that "they are defective prototypes to our real child," or to link it to the broken condom analogy, "a mistake that has no worth, so we tried again."
"Why aren't my kids visiting me anymore?"
You NEVER tell your children this kind of thing. Its devastating
Imagine being this obsessed with your kids gender
Entire cultures are that obsessed with their kids gender. Koreans Japanese Chinese have literally aborted so many girl fetuses that for every one woman there is in their countries there's three to four men. It's crazy. And this woman's nuts.
If your children are bullying, the answer to that is not being a bigger bully. It's to discipline them. Not just to be like stop knock it off. It's actually have to actively parent your children.
Fr 😅
Imagine thinking gender doesn't matter 😂
@@fromearth3286 it doesn't matter lmao
@@fromearth3286it literally doesn’t matter. Firstly everyone should have 3+ children anyway in 2024. The birthrate is too low and we are all fucked otherwise. Secondly a child’s worth isn’t dependent on their gender. Thirdly who’s to say none of her sons wouldnve grown up to become trans women? Or her daughter to become a trans man? It’s unlikely sure but it’s not necessarily something that couldn’t happen
I worry that not only has she emotionally scarred those boys, but they’re gonna resent their sister for the rest of their life now thinking she’s the favorite and that’s she’s the only child they really wanted or love. I can’t understand why the parent can’t see her own issue here.
Im just hoping that the dad could get the boys to understand their sister isnt at fault and salvage their relationship. Mom can go f off or make up to them by herself tho
@@ifeeldead463🤔 Yeah.
Bro who let you have kids!?
“Ugh y’all were both accidents we only wanted your little sister. Hey! Why are you calling me a bitch?”
LMAO THE TITLE IT SO FUNNY "AITA for *sexism* againt my children?"
how is it.. how is it funny.?
because that wasnt the of
title and even the owner of the vid disagrees @@seallover26
@@chips7386 i still dont understand-- am i just stupid? 😭
It wasn't the reddit post title becuse they wanted to sound less like an a-hole (if you say ur sexist than ur obvi in the wrong) but the creator of the video(not reddit post) states that she's being sexist(their own opinion) and therefore agreeing with us and disagreeing with the OP@@seallover26
@@seallover26the creator of this video titled the video am I the a hole for using sexism agenced my child
I had a brother who died stillborn before me and when I was a teen my mom said that if he was still alive I wouldn’t have been born AND they would have put me in community college to save money to put him in a private one so I’m lucky for the opportunities I have now since he’s gone. It stung so much and it changed my perspective on my mom till this day
If it’s bad to try three times for a boy, it’s bad to try three times for a girl.
“They were mean first” Great parenting “mom” 🤦♀️
When you try to improve a situation and you make it a 100 times worse. 😂
This is a terrible way to say it, so insensetive! The kids understand it as if they are unwanted.
My grandma has 4 girls, every time she was pregnant she hoped for a boy, everyone knows it but she never made her girls feel unloved or a disappointment.
She was usually joking "I wanted a boy but my husband can only make beautiful girls"
There's a better way to say it it's better said in story form my mother told me that when I was 13 and I still have an incredibly close connection to my mother
Imagine how it would feel if she had a son you can already tell her daughter would hate him based on the fravoritism
YTA. WTF IS WRONG WITH HER BRO 💀
My mum said i was a mistake and didnt want me, she said this at the beginning of our family road trip and was constantly making remarks at me for seeming upset and uninterested in the trip, blaming me- now ive moved out and dont speak to her
Im sorry you had to grow up with that foul woman. I hope you are doing well now and know that you aren’t a mistake
No child needs to know this kind of truth.
"Hey knock it off, your upsetting your sister. Come sit down and lets discuss why bullying isn't it okay and why its bad." 🤦♀️that simple. Literally that simple.
Bro is a reverse medieval Lord. Wtf
Alternative title: “AITA for telling my sons my daughter is all i wanted and not apologising?”
She literally said “you wouldn’t have existed if your sister was born first” like yeah that’s a wee bit harsh
Not only that, her kids must’ve interpreted this as “Your father and I wouldn’t have wanted you if your sister was born first.”
A wee bit? Thats sexist as fuck and traumatizing. A better way to handle that would be to send them to their room, shut off the wifi, and take the sister out for a parent/child date.
literally, like jesus christ those poor kids 😭 thats definitely gonna come back to nip em in the butt later in life
That was literally the worst thing you could have say yes you ATA
How to a divorce 101
How to have ur kids hate you 101
How to be a horrible mom 101
Congrats! You just lost 3 and possibly 4 relationships at the same time! New achievement unlocked!
3 relationship
Yup. The husband (1) doesn’t like her, her boys (2) hate her now, that means she lost 3. but atleast she’ll have her dealing daughter, the golden child
@@Munchkinnn.Five quid she grows up to be an entitled Karen who sounds like someone took a dookie in her coffee.
@@Munchkinnn.She could lose her daughter because of her the sons are ingoring there little sister :(
Speaking from experience, you don't forget when a parent says something like this, especially at that age. Those poor kids.
You also don't forget what your own siblings REPEATEDLY say to you, with clearly malicious intent, over and over despite being told to stop. What the sons were told was told once. What they told their sister was told repeatedly and cruelly and deliberately despite being ordered to be silent.
My sister is in her 60s and still hurts from the one time our mom, in utter frustration and with 6 more kids hanging off her, said she loved H. but didn't like her right then.
@@ladyofthemasque You redirect the kids, you don't tell them, essentially, I wish you'd never been born. Because that's what those kids heard.
For teasing their sister.
Jeez, we used to wind my twin up into blackout rages! And she thinks its funny now!
@@ladyofthemasquethe main difference is that they’re kids, and she’s not only an adult, but their mom. To them they probably thought she never wanted them which is incredibly harmful and I doubt it will help the situation in the slightest.
@@ladyofthemasquedawg the maturity gap is insane
Literally the kids were 13-10 and SO CLEARLY had NO malicious intent but to, yk be siblings?
But A 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN, TO HER OWN KIDS TELLING THEM THEY WERE A MISTAKE, AND THAT THEY DIDNT WANT THEM?
How the fuck do you think some 10-13 year olds had “malicious intent” by picking on the youngest one?
Plus all OP said was “knock it off” instead of being a responsible parent and actually doing something??
I’ve had way worse said to me about my siblings so fucking cry about the truth
dude the freaking little black spot on the left bottom side made me think my phone had sum weird shit on its screen 😭😭
Not only did she basically say she didn’t want them but now there is going to be a rift between them and their sister for the rest of their lives
"I don't know why my kids never call me..."
Listen- I get that they were being mean to their sister, but that was crossing a line. Yta. Talk to them, tell them that you love them and wouldn’t trade them for the world. Communicate for gods sake.
Bit of a problem, they're refusing to
i'm not sure OP wouldn't trade them for the world tbh
@@Zazabazaayeah but telling your kids to knock it off is lazy parenting. You actually have to parent your child to get them to stop behaving poorly. You know actively discipline your children. And not just hit beat and yell because that doesn't work. You be coming a bigger bully isn't going to teach your children not to bully. It's just going to teach them to pick on little or people. Hence the fact they're picking on their little sister. That's a learned behavior. It's really easy. Consequences to these behaviors that are going to stick. Even though it's a simple idea, it's a lot of work and OP doesn't want to be bothered cuz she only wanted to be one and done. But she didn't get her god forsaken girl so she kept popping them out and now she has no time or energy for her three kids.
@@Zazabazaait's the mom's problem not their😂
@@ZazabazaaThat's what kids do. Kids arguing among themselves about who Mom or Dad love more is completely different from a parent telling the kids whi they love more and who they never wanted.
Having a favorite child never ends well...for anyone.
YTA. Never tell a child you don’t want them, even if you mean well. I still don’t get along with my father because he said something similar
YES OML WHY DOES THEIR GENDER MATTER! THEY’RE CHILDREN
I swear why is it always the moms who want a specific gender, usually a girl. Why do people even voice this, just don’t say anything and live with the 50/50 chance unless you already have one gender and now want the other
@@Ryan-cb1ei Yes!! Don't even get me started on "boy moms" who actively enable their son's into bullying and sometimes even physically hitting their sisters, and then tell the girls, "oh your brother is just being a boy." Totally not setting their son's up to be abusers and their daughters to be victims.
Good for her for showing her true self to those poor boys but shame on her for destroying their relationship with their sister. And she dares call herself a mother, yuck
Those "poor boys" not only ignored their mother's direction to stop *bullying* they also ignored their sister's tears. Have you ever been hurt by someone you really love and then have them not only not care, but also *laugh* at your pain? 12 and 13 are old enough to know better, it's not like they were 8 and 10. Bullying doesn't stop being an issue just because it's behind the closed doors of a family home. The mom was out of line, but the karma was just because how else could they have felt/understood the pain they were inflicting on their sister? With all the empathy they displayed by ignoring her tears? 😂
Pretty sure it was the bullying from her older brothers that destroyed the daughter's relationship with her brother 😂
@@BlaecOleanderthey are literally kids teasing each other, just ground them at max rather than them not being your kids anymore because you don’t want them.
@@BlaecOleanderthe bullying was the result of her blatant favoritism cope😂😂😂😂
@@friendlyneighborhoodshinigami We really don't know that either.
For the first time I’m saying yes. Like telling your kids you didn’t even want them at the start? That’s crazy!
Bullying bullies doesn’t make you anything less than a bully. They were kidding and just didn’t realize how hurtful they were being, you were serious. You just destroyed your connection to your children
You get it! I'm absolutely flabbergasted over people who agree with OP, it's like, how do you agree with a PARENT destroying a KID mentally? "oH iT's jUsT tHe tRuTh tHe bOyS aRe tOo sOfT" these idiots need therapy.
She shouldn't have gone that low, that was just plain mean.