Finale of the Onion Trilogy (I read onision's THIRD book)
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2019
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"it's okay to kill child predators!"
-a child predator in a book written by a child predator
Maybe Greggy's suicidal lmao
It takes one to write one
Get Chris Hansen on the phone.
Well yeah, gotta get rid of the competition
This is like the Florida Man meme where he rapes the rapist, except it’s a child predator’s self insert killing a child predator’s child predator father in a book written by a child predator.
“this book went from ‘this is bad’ to ‘i’m having a stroke’ immediately”
imMEDIATELY
this comment blew up wow i’m so proud tia notice me
i love rewatching this because my brain immediately blocks out the memory of the plot so it's always like watching for the first time and i get to crylaugh all over again
sameee lmao this is my favorite video to revisit just because the plot is so wild i can never remember exactly what happens. its like restating a save file in Pokemon
I rewatch this at least once a week, either to do my makeup, or to clean the house. Like the headache I get from the story kinda blocks out the headache I get from inhaling dust and cleaning supplies fumes.
I just started this after watching the last and have already forgot the plot of the 2nd.
SAME
We are all the same person
Fun fact: even in the Czech Republic, one of the most alcoholic countries in the world, where children are regularly offered to sip the foam off their parents' beer, nobody would ever mock an 11 year old for refusing to drink alcohol.
As a fellow Czech, I could see giving an 11yo who really wants to be one of the grown ups a taste of something stronger, mostly to laugh when they spit it out, because alcohol tastes fucking gross unless you've already burned out all your tastebuds.
I used to date a girl whose mother mocked her for not drinking when she was 18, but that's older than 11.
Yeah in the U.K. where children can technically drink in their own home from age 5 no one would mock an 11 year old for not wanting to drink whisky maybe at a push joke about them not wanting to try the foam or joke about a 14 not wanting VK or disgustingly cheap cider but not mock.
Based Czechs.
I know you're making a based point but it's absolutely hilarious to me that your argument is basically "Even Czechia isn't that fucked up."
He heard a non-audible noise.
HE HEARD A *NON AUDIBLE* NOISE
OH IM SURE
GREGORY THE GOD ALSO:
SAW THE UNSEEABLE COLORS
TASTED THE NO TASTE FOOD
WROTE THE WORST BOOK EVER
FELT THE UNFEEABLE WIND
@Leviathanoof that's a good burn
oh I was kinda imagining it like angel radio from supernatural where our senses are too dull to hear it
How the hell do you hear a non audible sound? It's non audible for a reason!
He’s too Chad for conventional physics
"She's unconscious, because who isn't in this book"
Iconic.
Unconscious is how Greg prefers his women.
@@Xehanort10 Greg's type is unconscious children
@@Xehanort10 unconscious, and at least 3 years younger than the age of consent in the state she lives in
@nue also the children are also almost as drugged out of their minds as Greg as he wrote this "book"
"These are my children, God and Karen"
Bruh that was literally an entire season of Supernatural...
Yeah supernatural was pretty bad too
@@tovareardon4541
I take offense.
@@erinw.9256 even after season 15?
@@SpanielTower
Yes. It's my comfort show. I wouldn't have survived high school without Supernatural.
@@erinw.9256 I mean I hate everything I enjoy and I’m fine 🤷♂️
My god, the book I wrote when I was 7 about a minecraft cat having to save his owners after the mountain they lived on having an avalanche so their was a huge cliff and having to cross half the world to find the one person who can talk to cats was better than this.
That still sounds like a great book to read high
I want to read that book
I’d read that.
D'aww
Oh, it sounds cute and not mind scarring.
This entire book is just him having a wet dream about himself
this comment made my day
You just described Greg’s entire life.
Greg: "This is the REAL me. This is my gritty, realistic, tortured life. "
Also Greg: "I astral project with aliens."
Thomas Marshall that just shows Greg’s grip on reality
I'm so confused why he chose this book in particular to add that at the beginning??
What a religous experience for a 'legit' atheist, I amazed 😂
I mean he got the pedophile part down which is fucking disgusting
I mean, "I'm the son of God's God" is... Something, innit?
You know, Onision clearly has a firm stance that pedophilia is bad. But like... only when ugly men do it. When hot girls do it, it's fine.
Nope, he's a pedophile.
Huh, you wouldn't think he'd condemn himself like that.
@@commandercorl1544 I know, right? If anything, he should be preaching the opposite
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 Exactly. Wacky double-standards, amiright?
I take it his life philosophy is "do as I say not as I do" lol
as somebody with Tourette’s I can confirm, we are all aliens. We aren’t disabled, we’re aliens.
Cool
Hi, Alien. I'm Dad.
Ah yes, your tics are not uncontrolled impulses; they are truly just your inner intelligence, which goes beyond what any human body can handle. We cannot expect a human body to keep all that knowledge within itself, can we?
@@Schnort the tics are the disguise momentarily glitching
@@Schnort the tics are uncontained signals from the mothership.
this book reads like greg had seen the “shaggy using .5% of his power” memes and decided he wanted to be like that
anti orbs this book reads like a bad shaggy/invader zim fanfic
CT R/yes
Greg can never ever begin to compare to Shaggy
Don't insult Shaggy.
I am 100% certain that tara gilesbie is greg's ghost writer
Onion: "This is me, as I am, unfiltered, raw."
Book Greg: 11.
Yeah that checks out surprisingly well.
Hey, man, I don't know any eleven-year-olds who think like this.
@@couragekarnga8735 im a 11 y/o that looks at nsfw of bfdi and swears every three seconds at school, and im pretty sure im a better human being than greg
@@couragekarnga8735 Well some must. We know Greg can only be sexually attracted to people who don't challenge his world view in any way.
@@themyofmy One part of me thinks that i gotta report this comment for what will happen if it stays up, but another part of me thinks that it would be unfair to rob you of the learning experience it will provide, that will make you understand why exactly you can't just go around saying those things on the internet.
@@couragekarnga8735 not to defend grog but when I was eleven I had maybe worse ideas
Ah yes, minor cut -> hospital.
Car crash -> *SeLf MeDiCaTiOn*
In my opinion, the *worst* thing about this book, is that ‘Phillip’ is based off an actual person with the same name, someone who Greg got into a fight with when he was in 2nd grade (according to Greg himself), the part that makes it even worse? Greg claimed Phillip died two years after the fight, when he was *9*. So the best-case scenario is another lie to add on, and at worst, mocking of an actual dead child’s death.
In my opinion, the worst part
The detail he had during the scene between an 11 and 14 year old means he typed it with one hand
Meanwhile he has the audacity to come after Strange for saying the friend in stones to Abigail was annoying. Because apparently that friend “died.”
He’s a hypocrite
Onionson imagines himself as an 8 foot tall 11 year old with the powers of a god. Sounds about right.
Me debating whether or not to like this, cuz it's at 420
Dude reminds me of Dennis Reynolds
I feel like I'm the only one on here who doesn't know who this guy is (I just love videos reviewing bad literature), but it sure seems like his psychiatrist needs to read this book.
Huh... so the Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer 40k?
Jotaro Kujo?
Onion: “This book is the most about how I am now”
His character is 11
Madeline Harper Untrue. My three year old godson is more mature than Greg.
He likes to diddle kids because he's a child inside thats why he's doing nothing wrong. Logic⁹⁰⁰⁰
I actually think he legit forgot the character was supposed to be eleven. Then suddenly remembered but is such a narcissist he figured "i can make this make sense!"
*Also Onion:* Oh btw I have psychic abilities and I flew up to god and killed him
At least he's honest.
Imagine how the entire plot of this book would have been foiled if Greg's parents had a metal roof on their house.
underrated comment
I have only just started the video so now I’m waiting with baited breath for when this becomes relevant.
EDIT: wow, you were in fact absolutely not wrong
*Foiled?*
foiled you say
@@joyflameball hush
I'm honestly shocked that all three books are "I'm a big brain kid who is skinny and tall with a strong jaw and my mom taught me to fight to protect my girlfriend when someone else touches her" like we knew he's not smart but baby that's the same book again.
its like the joke of writing a slideshow on dimentia with the same slide repeating over and over. That or greggie boy is bill murraying this shit and hasnt realized we can read what he writes in the time loop
The way you phrased that last sentence absolutely SENDS me 😂 like a mom or something lol
"oh god he's noticed a female" - the entire onision saga
literally read this right as Aeon said it lmao
@@kentremendous5112 holy cow me too
this is off topic but I clicked on ur channel and holy crap ur art is so cute and good???
Stones to Abbigale: Greg
This is Why I Hate You: Greg
Reapers Creek: Greg with a propeller hat
CATIE, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? You've fucking killed me.
it’s more like reapers creek: greg and also greg
@@moew3154 But with propeller hats
@@moew3154 They BOTH have propeller hats
Now I’m just picturing Onision wearing a black wig with thick black eyeliner and a rainbow propeller hat.
I started cackling because there’s no way to take Greg’s angsting seriously when it’s in the same sentence as, “I would drink my chocolate milk.”
The saddest part about this book is that it could have been good! Let’s just cut out Onion’s whole… everything.
Imagine a story that centers around an 11 year old (Greg) who is diagnosed with cancer and has an inoperable brain tumor (the magic rock) that causes hallucinations.
As the tumor grows, his family falls apart (awesome step dad becoming an alcoholic, his mother’s overprotective nature, one sister’s distance/disappearing) which cause him to feel like he’s all alone and hate the small, clinic, sometimes “alien” hospital room he is trapped in. This allows for one of the nurses, Julia/Julie, to begin grooming Greg.
To escape from his life, he creates this vivid word where aliens try to capture and experiment (doctors performing chemo and surgery) on him, but he’s strong enough to foil any plot they have. Each adventure is fueled by his trauma and news stories (Gary and his gang killing women, school shootings, ect) that he hears on the tv.
He drifts between the two worlds until he’s 14. This is when his health takes a serious turn for the worse. Not only that, but he is mature enough to understand he’s dying, that his family will never be the same, and what the nurse has been doing to him. Here he decides to completely check out of reality and fight God and the Universe so he can live in a Utopia.
The story would be full of unreliable narrative, a child’s innocence being twisted into something darker, and the ultimate question of “Did he live?”. Wether in the real world, or in his imagination, can the reader argue Greg’s life had meaning? Had worth? Or is it just a tale of a sad, broken soul that never amounted to anything?
So many good ideas wasted!!!
Your ideas are already way more interesting to think about lmao
I love this framing so much more
Holy shit, this sounds good, if only Greg were a real writer and not a massively narcissistic sociopath nutzo who feels the need to lionize himself beyond belief
if i werent neck deep in sci-fi i would probably try to write this, this is a legitimately good plotthread when you eliminate Onion from it, bless u dude. ill check back here if i ever actually pick it up
Can I actually try writing this?
“Oh God, he’s noticed a female.”
Disconnect his internet.
Is this the plot of SCP: Containment Breach 2?
Get away from the internet, I'm cuttin' it down!
@@sugarvomitt4831 from any educational institution
"Stones to Abbigail represented the better version of myself--"
😬
There was a better version of himself??
“😬” indeed
Better does not mean not evil
Better half just means the half thats slightly less unbearable than his other half
@@valderath7433 I'd argue that this is why I hate you'z Greg was a bit more bearable, because at least he was just a flat out asshole
This is a perfect example of a "Mary Sue." Finally, a true character study of a "Mary Sue" and why they're terrible.
There's a lack of self-awareness in writing a Mary Sue. But telling us that it's a Mary Sue as if we wouldn't catch on -- wow.
since it's a guy it would be "Gary Stu"
This is like a perfect example of a Mary Sue
Vs a power fantasy
Like this lands as Mary Sue rather then harmless(ish) power fantasy because of the absolute lack of self awareness like the other commenter said
Onion boy did a lot of damage to my mental health as a teen, but I finally got the courage to watch your vids about him, and wow- it has been one hell of a cathartic experience.
What a pathetic dude.
I'm so glad you learned from it! You have nothing to be ashamed of, it's him.
I'm in the same boat. I think his fake persona is quite alluring to young teenage girls, the unapologetic, raunchy humoured, honest guy that we all thought was so cool. Looking back, yikes on bikes, at 20 I can't believe I ever watched his shit. Hes just a disgusting creep.
@@EvieBats2 "yikes on bikes" I'm taking that
@@thedarklrd6714 feel free 🤣 it's my favourite saying
Nothing is better than leaving Onision’s cult and realizing how pathetic and stupid he is
Every single of his books is a manifestation of "and everyone started clapping" meme.
This book is an amalgamation of every bad Tumblr post, the MAP ones included
Edit: except for bad fan posts. I would be impressed if someone managed to fit Miku binder Thomas Jefferson into a book and have it make sense
@@samt3412 Never been on Tumblr but I'll take your word for it.
Sam T now i wanna write a book just to put miku binder into it
I'm just canadian... well fuck
@@samt3412 Please explain to me how the term "Miku binder Thomas Jefferson" came into being
Greg: the trees are my friends uwu
Also Greg: *destroys wetlands*
i adore this comment, from the username to the cyniscism. thank you for blessing my day taylor
I'M PISSINH MYSJELF AT THIS COMMENT
I still feel bad for all those animals that he destroyed the habitats of
my wiggeth has been snatched from my scalp and has been sent to mars via intergalactical ups
Bruuuuu lol
As a boy, I can confirm it was typical for my friends to hit on my sister when they came over when we were kids, which was doubly weird because I don't have a sister.
Two sentence horror
I can confirm, all of my friends would hit on my sister. Which is weird because I didn't have friends.
That's because your non-existent sister was actually the ghost of Bella from the wych elm. Who put Bella in the wych elm???
48:42 "He was a serial predator"
To quote Krimson Rogue: "POT, MEET KETTLE"
Me: Well, at least now we know where she got it from
11 year old Greg is flirting with the 15 year old girl becuase that's who 30 year old Greg would flirt with
*OOF*
Das prolly true
Well he did rate teenagers bodies..
@@bug8992 he literally groomed like 3 whole human beings hes a monster.
@@rennyh8627 I think he groomed more than 3 but the point is, he is an actual monster, I agree with you
Anna-00P
greg: "this book is based off my life and who i was"
also greg: "...and this is the part when my chadsona and i fly off to kill god"
All male Mary-Sues should just be called Greg James Daniels
Basically he just imbelished every part of his life to where he looks like the good person
I read this comment close to the beginning of the video and thought it was a joke... 0_0
@@sangopearl9965 on it I'm already opening a google doc. Then I'll post a video of me reading it with my mouth too close to the mic
You know when i first read this comment i thought this was just an exaggeration for a joke
Then i finished the video
Wtf
When onision was born, sigmund freud laughed in the heavens so hard that the rapture almost happened
Why couldn’t have he just laughed harder
Bold of you to assume Freud is in heaven 😂
That gave me a good laugh, thanks dude.
the original plot of "small boy from hick town discovers a mystery with creepy aliens and murder" could have been cool if greg had the ability to form a coherent sentence.
He called his nana dumb for believing in god but he literally met, outsmarted and became god
So would that now mean that Greg’s nana is stupid for believing in him?
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 thats true
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 I mean if you believe Greg is god then you need psychiatric help
@@theartistformallyknownas2677 if you believe that comkent was saying that greg is god irl, then you need reading comprehension lessons
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 obviously, who believe in gods ? they are all liars anyway.
I think Onion's trilogy needs to be studied by a criminal psychologist...
I'm sure a criminal psychologist would feel sorry for him after a while because it's clear that he's too chickenshit to have done any of the edgy shit he talks about. The truth is far more pathetic. The truth is that he's fetishizing this shit and wants to LARP as an edgy boi.
69th like, nice
I want to be a criminal psychologist, so when I graduate I will.
That aged like fine milk. He's being investigated by the FBI :)
His writings are more pathetic than those of Elliot Rodger and Seung Hui Cho
i’m a fanfic writer that uses _wattpad_
and i hate this with a burning passion
if i’m ever doubting my writing, i’ll just come back to this video
i might be bad at writing, but i’ll never be as bad as _onion boy_
hell, at least you're having fun and creating stuff that others are going to enjoy. there is one person who enjoys this book, and his name starts with o and ends with nision
As someone that also uses wattpad (but to read mostly) tbh if you're good, you are good. It doesn't matter what apps you use to write your stories.
As someone who also writes and reads on both Wattpad and Ao3, I can say that onion boy’s writing is worse then the 10 year olds on Wattpad. That is something I wish to never be.
Yes yes yes, I was literally thinking that same thing. Like I write on Wattpad and it's not hemmingway but it's not this. And that makes me feel good.
I am also writing fanfiction, a horrible chatfic on Ao3, and I am SEVENTEEN but I can surely say that I am more than a hundred times better as a writer than freaking Onion Man.
“We would hit on my sister” actually felt like the throat punches he’s so fond of. Thank god it wasn’t we.
Okay honestly I was surprised when she corrected that
He would never hit on his sister because she was vaguely mean to him as a child 😤😭
out of context quote of the century: “now we have two identical greg-chads on their way to fight God.”
that reads like a tumblr shitpost
It isn't any better incontext
Holy shit, spoilers! 😂
😅😅😅
taylor it basically is a tumblr shitpost
That whole passage where he calls his stepdad “papa” and talks about his mustache reads like some sort of gay porn setup.
Evan Search What are you doing stepdad
Oh papa I’ve been a really ReALlY bAd BoY.
Papa: I gotta... punish you... son.
@@Therebesquare Okay :/
@@Therebesquare why does this sound like a roleplay from wattpad
@@Therebesquare well that's *_bUrNeD_* into my mind...
"Greg is now spineless..."
Me: "Now?"
I feel like there are nuggets of genuinely interesting things in this book but they were executed. Not executed poorly - simply executed. Killed on the spot.
'Oh god he's noticed a female.' is a good reaction to all three books.
Decently applicable to Zeus as well.
Goatly McGoatface 😳
@@goatlymcgoatface2251 and sometimes males too😞
@@oryanstudios2252 Bit rude
How?
greg's god > hates women and has daddy issues
zeus > sweating
I'm pretty sure the problem with Zeus was that he loved women a little too much-
@@dajacircle7529 Yeah, if Zeus controlled his dick most of the greek mithology wouldn't exist
@@ball4124 I'm sorry but I DIED at that
sahmm true
Zeus is bi right
"Bold of you to assume God isn't Ellen DeGeneres."
Boy, this aged poorly.
Why? Ellen acts pretty much like God does in the bible. Jealous, disrespectful to anyone who doesn't do exactly as he wants, etc. etc.
ellen degenerate >:(
@@YaamFel well as far as we know she hasnt threatened an eternity of punishment for anyone who dares to disrespect her, but besides that pretty much the same
@@quinn.0 Bold of you to assume she hasn't
THIS THREAD IS GOLLLDDD T_T
This poor woman is torturing herself for the sake of our entertainment...I stan
"this book is based on my life"
Proceeds to present himself as an all knowing, godly entity that is ok with pedophilia.
@Angie Gomez well its most defintly how onionboy sees himself. Its like the fever dream of a 14 year old big brain edgelord
don't forget the superiority complex and creepy pregnancy fetishism (but that's kinda present in all his books)
AND THEN ALIENS 👽
"hello is this 911, what's your emergency? oh, it's the onion man again? fuck. teya is on her way"
it's pretty accurate i'd say
As a wise tumblr user once said,
“11 year olds have the self preservation of someone who met God and wasn’t impressed”
And it all goes to shit when they turn 12.
Yet another wise saying I saw from Krimsonrogue's premire of this book
"I can't believe he killed SKY DADDY!"
It's okay you can just say Edward Elric
I'm 14 and this is deep
😂😂😂
Look at poor Thursday’s expression! He just wanted Æons to read him a normal story.
"we learn that he is very into girls. i guess just like, as a concept? just all of them?"
i mean, as a lesbian, same
>Hears Greg saying Stones to Abigail is the better version of himself
>Recalls Roller-skating into a school shooting
ziashock that was the first thing I thought of
LMAO
He was wearing heelies to escape his feelies
That was my first thought too.
@@deadchannel4619 fuckin hell that made me laugh
“Am I gonna read any of Onision’s other books? Hell no,”
- StrangeÆons, Nov 2018
She also did say if she made enough money from the first video she would read the other books
Whack
To think she said this after reading the best of Onion's books.
"Hell no"
*videos gets 3 million views*
"Hell yes!"
Remember that episode of Bojack Horseman where Bojack, Todd, and Sarah Lynn all get together and do drugs and try to write a book? I feel like the same thought process went into Reaper’s Creek
Legitimately didn't know what the name of this book was until this comment. It's just "Onion Book Number 3: The One Where Gregory Kills God"
@@samlewis6487 better title than what we got tbh
Each and every time I listen to this and hear 'My only friends are the trees', I expect it to be follwed by 'because they can't walk away'.
The fact that when you misread "he would hit on my sister" and I didn't even flinch because it was from Onision is pretty telling.
Oh my god i didnt question it either i just-
Right!?!
Time stamp?
Hahaha, I didn't even realize it was misread even long after she corrected hereself. I thought she personally tried to make it sound less incestual. lol
I know right?!
"An alien sticks its finger in his throat"
My brain: *thinks of that one vine*
Kitten Dream I love that one! 😂
The witch meme?
Why is this the funniest thing I’ve heard all day? I can’t stop laughing.
@@kammieferguson9523 this one ua-cam.com/video/umgx2xsH_MU/v-deo.html 😂😂😂
I'm dying
I like to listen to these book review videos as I fall asleep. It’s gotten to a point where my cat has started to recognize that the sound of Teya crying out in Onionman induced agony means that it’s bedtime.
I hate how much I relate to this we both need help 💔
I literally fall asleep to these too omg
I fell asleep to Teya's reviews the last two nights. I usually listen to a podcast. The cats were so confused and actually came to check up on me because "mother, it is late and you have not started the resting sounds."
i feel like i need to hire a moving company to help me unpack everything wrong with the part where greg says he eliminates gender inequality by editing human dna. like i know the guy hates women but holy shit.
@Santa D that would make more sense, but i'm also not sure i'm willing to give greg the benefit of the doubt
up yours transphobes! fear onion man and his dna editing powers!
The beginning: "the book is based on my life"
The end: *kills God*
Ксения Старцева to be fair if I knew I was responsible for this person I would want someone to kill me too
But we still have Jesus, right?
RIGHT?
*R I G H T ?*
This is the endgame
*Based on a true story*
He said that we can decide what events from the book were real in his life, didn't he?
Well, then I say:
Incest
Playing with dead animals
His siblings hating him
His crazy parents
Hitting on the teenage girls (stayed to this day)
He ate lentils...I guess that's it
Sometimes I forget that Onision is in his 30’s
I know, right!? I have this cognitive dissonance where I know his age but still feel like he's a year and a half into highschool.
I think he himself has forgotten that.
Greg also forgets, so that’s ok
Buttered stick of butter because he acts like a 13 year old that never got over his emo phase? Both mentally and physically? Yeah
I didn't know he was 30 i thought he was -12
It may seem like an odd thing to get hung up on, given the insanity that is the rest of this book, but I can't get over the fact that all of onion's books have the same, nearly identical "I must now save the day" scene.
Chaos and violence breaks out when the main character is out in public, separated from his love interest, and he runs away. He then immediately turns back around, runs back into the chaos, and effortlessly defeats the villain. He sustains an injury that is initially perceived as serious, but it never requires treatment or any recovery time. This is always the plot point at which other characters start to perceive the protagonist as a genuinely heroic figure.
It's nowhere near the worst, or most illogical, thing in onion's books, but it's so weirdly specific. It's like he's been reliving the same heroic power fantasy over and over in his head so obsessively, for so long, that he can't imagine any other way for a heroic action sequence to unfold. And the whole "run away - run back - effortlessly win - gets hurt - injury is nbd - everyone cheers" is so laughably immature and unbelievable that I'm pretty sure he came up with that specific power fantasy when he was, like, nine.
It's so baffling. It's so bizarre. How is he not embarrassed. He published this. On purpose. What.
I just looked up onision and apparently his full name is Gregory James Daniel. Those names seem familiar
“inappropriate to an illegal extent” are the words of a groomer. and someone that pushes boundaries
Sounds like thats what his lawyer told him to get good boy sorry points from the judge
And we know at this point that he's both, so...
@@cottontail5514 I think we all know his lawyers told him to fake going mental to try to force an insanity defense
Por que no les dos?
I love your name.
greg: “this book is based on my life”
also greg: “I fly and fight with weird ass aliens while making pancakes with my thoughts”
have you seen the video he put out recently where he talks about having to stop for a while because the aliens are after him. or something like that. I don't remember the wording but my point is he seems to enjoy playing into it.
@@jankcitycustoms he's playing the "look I'm totally crazy" card to avoid accountability. But it won't fly, expecially when he also stated on twitter than, paraphrasing, only an idiot would believe he's gone crazy
That sounds like what 6 yo's say when they lie about their life to impress people
Nue
I think he is crazy, just not in the crazy he wants to be
Nue half of that could be true 😳😳😳
I feel like Greg just watched American Horror Story: Murder House, and Heathers one day, and decided to make Tate and JD his whole personality.
i love Tate so much and I'm so upset that this makes sense i hate it here
While not having the charisma or likeability of either
Don’t do JD like this
Without realizing that JD was a villain
JD doesn't deserve this slander mate 😭
I thought she said god's father was Carl not Kull but I was also fully prepared to accept that Greg wrote that god's dad's name was Carl
He wouldn’t be so creative
Greg's entire online persona: "I'm not like other girls!" 😂
He’s if r/notlikeothergirls and r/niceguys morphed
It’s true, he’s much much worse
@@lindseytaylor3793 and r/imapedophile
@@abendrot___8055 yeah instead he goes after those 14 year old girls innocently thinking they're special.
@@lindseytaylor3793 So true!!!
"Alcohol runs through our bloodlines".
Doctor: "Do you know your blood type?"
Greg: *Single Malt*
Kombucha**
Store Brand Jack Daniels
The secret is to not drink it just place the booze in your bone marrow.
Jim Beam
Ah, hops and barely!
i love that Greg's granny does nothing the entire book but show up, ask "hey what's going on" to her grandson, who then shakes water off himself, grows long blonde hair, and flies away
that is INSANELY funny
i’m listening to this in the background while fixing my bike and what the actual fuck is going on i feel like i’ve lived multiple lifetimes listening to this clusterfuck how much DMT did onision take as an 11 year old
my thoughts exactly
Bruh if you think he ONLY took DMT you're lying to yourself lmao
As someone with Tourette Syndrome, I can confirm we are all secret aliens who beat people into unconsciousness.
Stephen M
Finally some accurate representation
This comment section 😂👌🏾
I knew it.
I fucking knew it. But did anyone listen? nooooOOOOOOooooo
reading the comments before watching the video is a fucking TRIP
"vaguely homoerotic comment about a clone of himself"
I-
wh--
i feel like r/brandnewsentence has been waiting for this entire video because it’s full of things that never should have needed to be said for the first time
Of course he would
Ya know, there's ten minutes left on this rewatch. And that part hasn't even happened yet. Fuck this book takes a while to get truly spicy but it does not take its foot off the accelerator once it gets there.
Unacceptable!
"Hey, ugly!" Screamed Philip in my direction - the way greg's writing works
"Hey, ugly!" Philip screamed in my direction - how anyone with a brain writes.
I didn't see what was wrong until I remebered suject-verb inversion is not as usual in English as in French (I'm Frnch native, so sometime I don"t spot dum mistake like that)
@@praxyseory4578 yeah native English speaker here and I don't really see the issue?
i feel like they both work but the second way is just more eloquent idk im 13 😰
@@jubileetea well im even younger so maybe dont take my word for it, but i love language and words and grammar and whatnot, and yes, theyre both correct, but the first one sounds a bit more stiff and awkward. like those short story examples you get at school. just something off about it
@@praxyseory4578 Same
Barber: so what style of cut are you looking for today?
Onision: Brown
You need to say more, fam
the story is really about him rejecting whisky but accepting LSD
hot take i agree
10/10 review
"All of this is happening because of a magic rock in his brain."
Greg, we in the real world, call that a tumor.
Lol trey
It would have been a realy nice plot twist, if all the magic stuff were hallucinations caused by a brain tumor. But no he had to become a randomly op being and killing god in the end 😂
OH MY GOD
XDD!
LOL
Greg is just a "I'm 14 and this is deep" kid that never grew out of it
The worst thing about onion kid's books now that I think about it is how _nobody_ seems to react even to mass tragedies like school shootings beyond the initial shallow "o noes a dead body I am bummed" response. Even a jaded old misanthrope like myself has to recognize that people do _not_ just go back to status quo in a week after something as traumatizing and that many of them may require years of counseling to come to terms with what happened. Not to mention the protagonists(?) seem to actually relish in this kind of brutality.
There are terms to describe this kind of callousness and shallow affection, and many of them are categories in the DSM-IV, just saying.
"I'm not even bothered anymore; I'm just tired."
Us too, Teya. Us too.
She suffered for us. So we could have a filtered version and not being driven insane by exposure to this eldritch abomination.
Omg I had no idea her name was Teya. That's such a pretty name wtf I stan
@@Elena-yv6cx ikr??
i want that quote on a shirt Right Now!
Chapter 1: gee willikers I sure do hate bullies.
Chapter 20: G O D F E A R S T H E G R E A T M U L T I D I M E N T I O N A L G R E G O R Y
Jas this is my favourite comment ever
-based on my own life-
"I live by a creek"
"Aliens Are Targetting Me"
"I cloned myself to KILL GOD"
That sounds like Worm except bad
@@tvangelist
Sounds like Onision is the one who ruins JRPG stories.
Oh no I’ve finally figured out what onisions books are. They are Episode stories. The absolute chaos, the stupid adults, the disjointed plots. It’s something that belongs on Episode, but they are “actual” books
yes, oh my god yes. but also episode might be silghtly better but, thats not saying a lot.
@@lenore1860 i mean there are some good episode stories, but I’m particular im thinking about this resembling “Pick Your Poison,” which granted was a bit of a parody of awful episode stories, or the kind of stuff you find that has 7 reads. Like whatever story Danny Gonzales read a while back.
There are actually good Episode stories though. It’s just that they are most definitely the exception
@@QuantumBoogaloo agreed
“I imagine he has teeth in his eyes.”
Neil Gaiman: Write that down *W R I T E T H A T D O W N*!!
I love how this was the book where Greg was openly straight up like "This is essentially about me and my life" and then it ended up being about ALIENS and he becomes a LITERAL GOD
I knew it
There is no loving God
Gregory views himself as a God, he has called himself so several times too.
@@curryinahurry1746 Does that mean that when he says you shouldn't pray for your relatives who have cancer, it's because Greg himself gave them cancer?
that chuu pfp,,,,,,man of culture for sure
If I recall correctly, some of that shit is stuff he actually believes.
Gregory “I’m not like other girls” onion son
sometimes I get worried my writing is 2-dimetial, boring, emotionless and bad. Then I watch these videos and feel indescribably better.
I like how Onision says this is based off of real life events. Like who can forget the time Greg became godlike and just killed God back in the early 2000s like haha how crazy was that
“she was ugly despite having blonde hair and blue eyes” omg #justaryanracethings 😍
The username fits well
When she read that out I was just like 'okay onion, your hitler is showing'
"I wanted to kiss her but then I thought.... WHERE ARE DEIN PAPERS?"
Ah, it's like having both of those automatically make you attractive no matter what. Not sure what that sentence was, but then again, he says the weirdest sh*t lol.
@@htsunmiku Ikr it's like sometimes he comes off as racist and then he's surprised when he's called racist
"My name is Gregory Darkness Dementia Raven Way"
Jesus, put a warning or something next time, I choked on my water lmao
Fucking hell, that’s on par with “Obsidian Blackbird McNight”
Hats off to you if you get the ref, if not, it’s “Mighty Boosh” where the character, Vince Noir, pretends to be goth to impress two goth girls and instead accidentally releases the most evil demon known to the MBEU (Mighty Boosh Extended Universe) who takes the form of a little, unassuming old lady, and he defeats her with hairspray and “nana nana go away, come again another day”
Cool.
My name is Sir Edges-A-Lot.
Nice to meed my fellow edgy.
This is like if “The Disastrous Life of Saiki. K” was a bad wattpad fanfic.
I wanna see a death battle between the two and how utterly destroyed Gre- I mean Daniel would be
yeah Saiki would fuck greg up.
No I love Saiki K. I don't want it tainted by Onionman :(
Seems like this book rivals Empress Theresa when it comes to bizarre, tasteless, and unintentionally creepy writing with a ridiculously overpowered main character.
I would absolutely love Greg/Daniel to fight Theresa
@@confused5804 The God preaching girl who can do no wrong vs the atheist man with a thing for mass murder. For once I am on Teresa’s side.
I need Teya or Jenny Nicholson to read me Empress Theresa. It seems like a wild ride and I can’t emotionally put myself through reading it.
"two identical greg-chads on their way to fight god" i'm losing my mind
Greg is just so stereotypically narcissistic that it almost seems like it's satire. Boy do I wish it was satire
True. Really wish it was fake, this "man" is pathetic. 🙄
Yup. It’s sometimes throws me back that certain people like Greg are real.
Honestly, the main characters in Greg's books would work perfectly in a satire, making fun of edgy 14 year old atheist boys who think they have huge brains and also hate women
Nah, i don't think thats really a bad thing. If it was satire it wouldn't be nearly as funny
It almost makes me wonder if it IS fake. I mean, the idea of him making his best friend himself seems a bit too blatant to be something even he would try unironically. It's almost like he's well aware of the criticism lobbed at him and is hoping that by amplifying it that people will make fun of him even more and eventually get tired of it. It's like that tactic in Rules for Radicals that says you push a negative through to its counterside to win. The problem, however, seems to be that this never works. It didn't work when Carl "Sargon of Akkad" Benjamin tried it and it's certainly not working when Onision tries it.
greg: this is a book about my childhood :)
the book: I'm a serial killer but also god and I fought aliens and also became a chad but also I have daddy issues
This gives me an interesting idea: A story, split into 3 books all retelling the same story with the same main character, one good, one evil, and one grey, or just human.
It sounds like a fun and interesting idea
make it about a multiverse or story with seperate timelines that somehow affect each other, n u got a book
Yooo that would be cool as hell- I know that’s a huge thing to take on but if you ever do write something like that lmk- fuck it I’ll be your editor bro
"Oh god, he's noticed a female" made me burst out laughing, my thoughts exactly
Can we talk about how Greg always makes his self-inserts mass murderers. Anyone ever look into that?
Leviathan i think you’re forgetting “And Maybe Someone Should Check In On Him Every So Often Just So They Know He’s Not Ordering Any Magnum P.I’s Or Whatever Guns Exist I Don’t Give Two Shits About Guns Really Lol”
@Leviathan the scientific term is "raving fucking lunatic"
"books are based on his real life." So he imagines bombs going off in stadiums.
Turner Diaries vibes.
@@expendableindigo9639 feel like im gonna regret asking but what are the turner diaries?
You know, if behind your house there's a river flowing with dead fish and people sometimes act irrationally... Maybe call EPA to check the river...
Huh, actually decent advice
Whenever I picture the visuals of these books I think of them being drawn in crayons and dollar store colored pencils