One thing I could never stand about Carrie was how she treated Natasha. She painted her as some kind of stuck up awful villain for being Big's wife when she really did nothing wrong at all. Meanwhile, Carrie sleeps with her husband, in her own bed by the end! Then when she found out that Natasha despised her, Carrie tried to go an explain her "side" to Natasha, bemoaning "I can't believe there's anyone in NY that hates me that much!". How shameless can one person be?
THANK YOU! So many fans see Natasha as the bad guy. She was so respectful towards Carrie from day one. Carrie interrupts them at the party to talk to Big. Natasha politely excuses herself. Then Natasha invites Carrie to the engagement party for her and Big. Natasha misuses a word on the invite -- "Hope to see you their" - instead of "there" and Carrie calls her an idiot. Misspellings are common. Not everyone is a professional writer.
Honestly, one of the best moments of the show is when Natasha gives her a reality check on the restaurant. The nerve of carrie to go and interrumpt her date... The worst thing is that the only thing she gets from the conversation is "now natasha is on the single market again" 🤦🏻♀️
And Carrie would always do this pathetic victim routine anytime she screwed up. She cheats on Aiden and then she throws herself at him like "aw I'm such a terrible person, wow, you must hate me so much, I'm awful" basically forcing him to comfort her and make her feel okay about the things she did! That was the whole point of her ambushing Natasha at dinner. She wanted to come in and have Natasha tell her that it was fine. Carrie is so insanely selfish.
What about that time Carrie was going to lose her apartment because she spent all of her own money on shoes and then proceeds to try and convince Charlotte to sell her engagement ring to pay for it and then gets pissed at her for refusing. Why Charlotte gave in in the end I will never know. Carrie is one of the most selfish characters ever put to screen.
I think the apartment had protected rent on it and then the owner of the building decided to turn it into a co-op which meant everyone living in it had to buy a share of it to live in it and be vetted. That's why she had never bothered to buy a home.
What I find insane about that plot is that Samantha, Miranda and Big ALL wanted to help out and offer cash but she insisted on the one thing that had sentimental value for Charlotte.
I remember the episode where her laptop breaks and she loses all her work. Her then BF Aiden buys her a new laptop and an external hard drive as a gift. Carrie's response is basically "I have a perfectly good broken laptop you monster!" In Twitter speak, she's toxic
I recently watched the episode where she's with him for the first time round and keeps waking up at night disturbed because her relationship is (at the time) DRAMA FREE so she complains about it, lmaoo
Yes but the show was showing Carrie being stubborn and unreasonable in that episode. The show wasn't siding with her. They wrote Aiden to act like the most perfect boyfriend, while writing Carrie to act unreasonable and unlikable. Even her friends were mad at her sometimes because of how she treated Aiden or how self-centered she was. She was the bad guy sometimes. And I think that's way more interesting than a main character that never does any wrong.
@@aardfay I think the problem is that while the show shows us how ridiculous she is, she's never self aware enough to realize she brought all this upon herself, she never learn or grows from it. She just goes "woe is me!" and then finds another dude to mess with.
@@bluestarkiller The episode ends with Carrie writing: "After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot. And when that fails, a little gizmo called a zip drive can provide a surprising amount of comfort... So can a boyfriend if you can learn to let him." I would call that being self-aware that she had just been pushing him away the whole episode and by end she realizes she should learn to let him into her life more. And while I agree that she repeats many of her mistakes (like most people), it's not true that she's never self-aware and never grows. What you might be referring to is her pattern of needing closeness and security with a partner, but as soon as she gets there she feels suffocated and anxious and ends up sabotaging the relationship. That's a loop that many people get stuck in. It's a deeper personality trait that doesn't go away in just one episode, or maybe ever.
Absolutely hate how she acts like a child whenever she gets herself into these situations. Like covering up her face, making little whiny noises, etc. She always wanted everyone to make her feel like it was okay that she acted like a selfish jerk.
Can we talk about how she begged Aidan to get back together but refused to cut Big out of her life when Aidan communicated his insecurity about it! That was more than a fair request and she was just like “nah, he’s in my life. I know I cheated on you with him but i don’t care. Get over it.” She wanted her cake and be able to eat it too.
Those episodes were INSANE. Aidan got pissed at her, so all of a sudden she started clinging on to him and throwing herself at him. Then when Aidan relents and shows up at her apartment, she realizes she has him hooked again, so she can start playing games with Aidan by saying she won't cut Big out. She's obsessed with pushing people away or hurting them so she can see how much they'll fight to be in her life, how much they'll put up with.
The irony is that if the situation were reversed, you wouldn´t find A SINGLE WOMAN OUT THERE who would accept her cheating boyfriend telling her that he won´t cut contact with the ex he slept with over the course of several months behind her back. If he were to shake his head and tell her "I can´t do that... she´s in my life. Not the way you are, but she is", every woman would lose her shit. More than twenty years after this episode aired, I nevertheless still see women actually defending Carrie´s "right" to stay in touch with Big, and seriously calling Aidan "controlling and toxic" because he dared to demand that she never sees Big again.
When you put it that way, SATC could be called a gender flip of Blake Edwards films of the early 1980s. In those movies angsty, generally successful middle aged men fool around with pretty young women and later get back with the women they treated like crap. It was the whole vibe of, why shouldn’t you be able to have it all? Not unlike Carrie.
@jarosad: What does “he’s in my life” even mean? Sounds as if Carrie truly wanted to have Big as a backup f**kbuddy/ATM, Aidan’s feelings be damned. So infuriating
The scene where Aidan yells to Carrie: ‘You broke my heart!’ has been living in my head rent free for 10+ years. And how did Carrie deal with that? She fu*king ran away. What a class act.
And then when she meets him years later and she gets excited to screw with him once more, except he's already married with kids and perfectly happy. Karma's a bish...
omg and then she cries about being the villain in someone's life story. remember the story about the girl making a mean face at her because carrie treated someone horribly? and carrie flipping out and running all over town to confront that girl?
He was really powerful in that scene. Here is something completely random about John Corbett that has nothing to do with this but which you may find amusing....I knew a girl who worked on the SATC set when he was there & she said he was totally bonkers & one day started just randomly yelling "Julia Roberts is a f'n whore!" That's been living rent free in my head for about 20 years now 😄
The whole 'Carrie showing up at the church for Sunday Service' was SUCH an invasion of privacy! They'd only been dating a few months... like... Just because you're dating someone doesn't entitle you to their entire life, including their family. Addition: There could have been a million reasons Big didn’t want to introduce her to his mother at that time. Sure, maybe it was because he didn’t think Carrie was good enough to meet his family. But also, maybe he didn’t feel he knew her well enough yet. Maybe he wasn’t sure how serious the relationship was. Maybe he hadn’t talked to his mother in 20 years, and going to church with her was their way of rekindling their relationship, and Big wasn’t even ready to tell Carrie all of that, let alone introduce her to his mother. Big set a boundary with Carrie, and Carrie violated that boundary.
Huh I only now while reading this comment realised that I was in a similar position lol. I just left a guy for this exact reason, because he never introduced me to his parents, and sure we were long distance for a while, there weren't many opportunities when I was abrosd and I respect that a person takes as much time as they need to know if I'm right for them. But now we had this whole christmas situation where everyone is doing family things and I had already adressed how I felt, and I believe I've run out of time and excuses to make for "what if's". This is the moment I packed my stuff and went wherever my ass is appreciated. Sure I had to bug all my friends if someone will take a moment after they did family time on christmas so I'm not home alone crying because this shit is depressing, but this scene of Carrie forcing this meeting is even worse. Of course the guy came back and said he loves me and thinks I'm the one, and that's just such a nice thing to say and even hear, but I don't want to remember the part of my life where I had to start nagging about this. This story has reached its expiration date and has started to spoil and stink, it's not my story anymore, if anything it's his tragedy. Sorry that I went on to vent on you😂 But ya wtf Carrie, that shit's weird. Let's not do that...
Carrie has a habit of overstepping other people’s boundaries. For example, she stalked Natasha for weeks to force the two to talk about Carrie’s affair with her husband. Natasha made it very clear that she did not want to speak to her husband’s mistress. But that didn't stop Carrie. She pushed forward and disrupted Natasha’s lunch so she could apologize. Not for the sake of Natasha but really to ease her own guilt.
My parents are narcissistic. I wouldn't introduce them to anyone right away. Maybe after being in a relationship for a year or so, maybe never :) Families can be complicated or just not be very close. He also introduced her to friends and colleagues, so he wasn't clearly "ashamed" of her, or whatever she was thinking.
@@Silly_u1908 That always bothered me. Carrie also always fixates on the wrong things and pushes people to get what she wants. Like the girl that dated Aiden after Carrie. She had a reaction to Carrie that Carrie obsessed over and wouldn't let it go. Carrie does these horrible things that hurts people and then she turns around and expects these people NOT to hate her, and to forgive her. I remember when Big and Natasha were dating. What was Carrie's reaction? Jealousy, of course, but she insulted Natasha and hated her for dating and then marrying Big. It would have been different if Carrie had been with Big and Natasha started sleeping with Big. But that wasn't the case at all. The woman had no self awareness whatsoever.
I think the reason he didn't introduce her at the time, is yes, they had only been dating 6 months at the time if I remember correctly AND this was something special he did with his mother. And she had to go and ruin that by stalking him. Sick.
And let’s not forget when found out Big was married…She tracked down his ex, found out who she was and what she did for a living and pretended she was writing a book so she could talk to her! WHO does that?!!
There are so many terrible Carrie moments, but the worst for me was her spending all her money on shoes and then guilt tripping her best friend Charlotte into giving up her engagement from her previous marriage to help her with a deposit for Carrie’s apartment. I’m sorry, but your friend being divorced does not entitle you to help. Carrie made her choice to spend all her money on hundred of shoes for $500-1000 each, and didn’t put any money in savings for future. She had no one to blame but herself.
Charlotte should've stuck to her guns when she said "it is not MY job to fix your finances" and left it at that.. who cares if it ended a friendship. Charlotte didn't owe Carrie anything. Carrie had imploded her own life by dumping Aidan, let her figure it out!
God, don't get me started on what she did to Aiden. All that's happened to her and she still hasn't paid off all the bad Karma for what she did to him.
I remember watching this show as a 20 something woman and being appalled that a) Carrie was the embodiment of every horrible stereotype of women in a relationship: clingy, irrational, hypocritical, volatile, selfish, demanding etc.; but even worse that b) in this show, she's the *protagonist*. She's somehow meant to be seen as this modern independent woman just trying to make her fairy tale come true. It was so cringey and frustrating even then and I fear would only be worse if I went back and watched the series again.
I watch this show very differently with a 40-something's eyes vs a 20-something's eyes.. Carrie acted like a child and frequently threw temper tantrums. she spilled vodka on Big's carpet in one instance, and also threw a filet-o-fish at his TV when he said he was going to Paris for WORK. she's exhausting.. he would've been done with her after the first temper tantrum.. I can promise you that Natasha never acted like that, and she was younger than Carrie. he would've stayed married to Natasha, at least long enough for a couple of kids, if these characters were real ppl. I don't think he ever intended on divorcing her (even on the show).
@@Stephanie_Ella How about when they first broke up... She broke up with BIG because he didn't want to tell her that "she's the one". Watching this as teen didn't bring up any questions BUT in my 30s I'm like ...."wait, havent you and BIG only been talking for a few months?!".....are you seriously forcing this man to tell you you're the one after a few months and acting like hes doing something wrong. The man was previously divorced, he wants to breath😐. Then, she did the same thing when SHE felt like she loved him and wanted to say it and HE wasnt ready. 🙁🙄. This woman is ins@ne.
If Carrie wanted commitmen she would have loved Aiden, because he did nothing but be loyal and did anything she wanted 😂 but she fucking couldn't stand it
@@lemsip207 Carrie is not rigth neither for Aiden not for the Big.Aiden is family orienteted.Carrie want to life a very glamours life and to share this kind of life with her partner.Big want a quit simply life.He too dont look for publishity and stuff like that.He just want to spend a quity tie with his partner ,but that for carrie is boring and hi is living like some granpa this is her words.Sometimes i thing that to have a partner is like some kind of accessoary to have and so off to people.I cant understant how those man fall in love with her.She sure have a good quatis too ,but she is not a wifey of serious partner material.
There's a reason Big always referred to Carrie endearingly as "kid", because Carrie is such a little child with no self-awareness and Big has to be the sensible adult who thinks about things before enacting them.
he never respected her.. not since day 1 when condoms fell out of her purse. they never would've dated IRL. he'd even insinuated that she was a prostitute.
Carrie is awful, but Big is no better. He doesn't communicate at all and only stresses out people around him (he had no connections in the hospital sans Carrie, that's a red flag). He fuels neurotic Carrie's insecurities and messes up peace of her, by proxy her friends' and Aidan's lives. He cheats on his wives and is avoidant, who won't keep his word, dipping last minute. He overhypes and underdelivers constantly. Often straight up invading Carrie's life, stepping on all the boundaries with his calls, drive-thrus etc. when she finally seems distracted and happy.
Even when I watched it in the 90's I considered Carrie and Charlotte the annoying toll I paid to see Miranda and Samantha regularly. Also I can't forgive Carrie for the way she treated Aidan. Now that I consider it, the way she treated everyone. It was hilarious the way the show seemed to think she was amazing.
OMG, same! I watched for Samantha and Miranda. Samantha was the heart and soul of SaTC, and I could relate the most with Miranda (the OG Miranda, NOT the AJLT Miranda).
@@Stephanie_Ella Loved early seasons' Miranda the most, but adored Sam's spirit too, they are definitely my faves. Most realistic and least "boy crazy" ironically, considering Sam's libido. Calling out double standards left and right, reality checking everything around them. They were great friends too, having others' backs, being honest about situations and usually carrying the friend group, helping solve the problems or invite everyone for a night out. Wish they had more moments as a duo. Would love to hang out with them IRL. Charlotte seemed stuck-up, judgmental and naive hopeless romantic, pushing that ideal on others. But I liked her strong boundaries, ability to just walk away when she is not vibing, knowing what she wants, not settling, expressing her wants and being there for her friends when it mattered and the ways she knew how - usually appearances and finances. I view her neutrally, sometimes with awe, sometimes with clenched teeth. My least favorite is Carrie, she acts like entitled teenager with main character syndrome, avoiding responsibility, playing "I'm just a little girl" victim card even when her own actions have consequences, dragging her friends into her relationship drama and financial irresponsibility. Avoiding thinking about reality, future, making snide comments about undeserving people and not prioritizing or having her friends' best interests at heart at all, giving them horrible advice and lashing out at them when they give her sound advice. She's not very trustworthy and will drop everything and everyone for a man in a heartbeat.
No. Big was not simple at all. He had someone right in front of him that was obsessed with him, and he ruined that relationship as well as two of his marriages. Carrie is awful, but that doesn't make Big not awful. They deserved one another for a reason.
@@Aster_Risk Yes, Big was simple. Simple to the point of being frustrating and that's why you're ranting, that's your expectations about him, not his problem. If you think Carrie being obsessed is a plus then you don't know Big's character at all. The guy is rich, good looking, if he wanted an obsessed partner he could get one ten times better than Carrie. He just wanted a quiet life with no relationship's labels, no fuss but still not cutting Carrie's cosmopolitan lifestyle. Plus he tried with the best of his capabilities to intentionally make his life more complex and convoluted for Carrie. In the end the guy was a mess just like Miranda's husband. Good Lord, Steve is a whole other case, the guy is a trooper...
In the second movie when she makes a point of take me out, don't just bring home takeout, thats grounds for divorce. Especially when he ws making the money all day.
@@Aster_Risk The key word here is "obsessed." How can she be equal to Big when she had him so high on a pedestal? That type of dynamic doesn't work--or it takes a lot of work. They came together at the end of the series, but in the movies we see she's still jealous of him when they are out and about and he's his charming self. She goes, "Why don't I get that version of Big at home?" But now, he's older, more patient, and perhaps too tired to fight with her. She cheats with Aiden and Big gives her a ring. This shows how he's matured. But Carrie hasn't.
Oh my gosh, thank you for that explanation on introversion and extraversion. People misunderstand that so much and always mistake me for an extrovert simply because I can be loud. (Which is because people at home kept telling me I'm too quiet even though they are literally the only ones who complain...) it's actually quite annoying because they think I'm always up for doing stuff when I just want to be alone... Sorry, that's just been weighing on me for years and years and it's nice to finally have someone say this.
Same! I have a strong voice as it is, and when I get excited/talk about stuff I’m passionate about, I can get louder, but man will I crash afterwards and need to spend 3 days alone.
There is also something called an ambivert, which is someone that has traits of both introverts and extroverts. It's possible you're an ambivert. But then again, many people don't understand introverts at all. Forgot to add that I'm an introvert by nature and was always mistaken for shy and "weird". I usually only talk when I have something to say, and when I am passionate about it, I can be loud considering I have a monotonous, low voice and people often ask me to raise my voice. Then suddenly I'm "too loud".
I'm 43, the target demographic when the show originally aired. We were supposed to see these empowering portrayals, or at least more relatable characters. It felt insipid to me, but I'm also a total pain in the ass 🖤
lmao her attempts to win men over really gets old especially when she doesn't exactly notice how weird she was. I guess I was shallow and too young at that age to really get the idea of big but I never got why Carrie was so obsessed with him because...well Big is ugly, and old. I was a teenager and never got his appeal, and frankly now that I've matured into my thenties, I don't think I missed the mark that far with him...truly why is Carrie obsessed with them an that has the physical shape of a cylindre?
@@corneliahanimann2173 Pretty sure that Big was pretty wealthy and it is insinuated that he is largely endowed... and with Carrie being a shallow narcissist ...obsessed.
@@punkybrewstar83 ye sounds about right😂. I was 15 at the time and what I saw was that Carrie basically slept with every perfect guy that exists in her srea, from one perfectly tanned sixpack with bookreader glasses to the next, and then all of a sudden I tuned in on an episode with Big, and I was just thinking to myself "is this her dad? Is this guy fat? He doesn't look like the type of guy Carrie would have an affair with!" And from my 15 year old understanding I thought maybe this is the guy that has a personality and not the looks and it's actually about to teach me not to be shallow. Big has the peesonality of sandpaper, he doesn't even talk much snd he doesn't provoke anything in Carrie other than what I at the time assume must have been daddy issues. Of all the guys Carrie sleeps with, Big is just so Bland.
What annoys me about the whole general discussion of introversion is how people always forget that being introverted and being socially anxious are not the same thing. Just because you're an introvert, doesn't mean social interaction gives you anxiety. That's a different thing. You can have one without the other. Same goes for being shy. You can be introverted without being shy; they're different things.
Not the point of the video but THANK YOU for that bit about introverts! I've been losing my mind for YEARS over how the internet seems to think "introvert" means quiet, shy, and socially anxious (lots of memes/comics about introverts losing their shit about making phone calls etc). I'm quite an extreme introvert, to the point where I could probably go months and months without human interaction and be having the time of my life, but I'm not at all quiet or shy. I probably come off as quite extroverted a lot of the time, I can be rather loud and animated and I talk way too much - but I am exhausted from prolonged social interaction. On the flipside, extroverts can be quiet, shy and socially anxious too, and I'd imagine they suffer quite a lot if they are since they NEED social interaction but struggle with it.
People find it weird when I tell them I need to charge my batteries after social interaction, I really feel completely exhausted after socializing for less than an hour. Like I get overstimulated/overwhelmed in the brain or something and I know I’m not the only one but it’s hard to explain sometiems. I have to go and be alone for a while after talking with people.
@@KagomeYasha023 Yeah definitely! If I'm in a social situation for a longer time (like, idk, Christmas with relatives) towards the end of it I kinda start zoning out and everything becomes white noise even though in the beginning I was actively participating and talking a lot. And oh god, if I've had one social activity I need quite a while to recharge, which a lot of people don't understand. "What do you mean you can't make plans on both Friday and Saturday?" Like damn at least give me until next weekend lol
I'm the same. Lots of people think I'm an extrovert because I'm friendly and enthusiastic, and I genuinely enjoy people at that moment, but I'm also exhausted afterwards and could very happily spend the next several weeks interacting with nothing but my telly
I'm relating to this and all the comments that follow. I'll be somewhere and thinking I'm having fun, but afterwards I'm drained with most of the chit chat. Even though I have a dynamic personality, I prefer one-to-one intimate lunches with the girls; or just being alone with my husband - or totally with myself.
On the actual topic of the video: I was always kind of weirded out or just confused by Carries behaviour, even as a teenager, but I just assumed I was wrong in that, since the adults around me seemed to applaud her behaviour for some reason and only seemed to see the faults in her partners. But I often thought she was quite unfair. I would be interested in you covering more of the dynamics of the series and look at the other characters. I just never really got what was empowering about how the main characters acted. To me it just seemed like a lot of drama that could have been avoided in most cases.
Main Character Syndrome basically. We tend to see it from the MC's perspective and root for them even when they're actually vile people. It's often why I tend to prefer side characters because MC's are often Mary Sue's and not very likable.
@@leviacronym6770 That's very true. I also often like the side characters more. But that makes me wonder what exactly makes a good main character. I don't know if there was ever one that I really liked and not just found ok or somewhat tolerable. Most of the time they are just not that interesting to me. Perhaps because everything is so focused on them and their perspective. With the side characters you don't get that as much and you kind of always want to know more about them (if they are well written).
@@Nebula_Coffee I have actually enjoyed some main characters. A lot of times MC's aren't the best but sometimes you get a good one. 👌 💯 😌 I think some MC's are blank slate characters meant for the reader to fill in, so they come off blank/boring. And yes sometimes there's too much of the MC so you turn to the more mysterious, less frequent side characters.
@@leviacronym6770 Hmm, I don't get that reasoning for the blank slate characters. That has never really worked for me 🤷 Just out of interest, what are some of the works where you enjoyed the main character? Do you have any recommendations?
@@Nebula_Coffee One of the best ones I can think of is Eren Jaeger from Attack on Titan. Mulder and Scully from the X-Files are also compelling MC's. Rick Grimes, whether you love or hate him, is a good MC. Just to name a few that spring to my mind immediately.
I was so confused how the plot of the movie was 'Big left her at the alter' when like...he was stuck in traffic and called. A lot. A kid took her phone and she didn't think having her phone on her on her wedding day might be important. They even met in the street with him trying to get there and her dramatically leaving. She dramatically left her wedding assuming she was ditched, _still_ didn't consider calling or if her missing phone was a factor in why she hasn't heard from him, and then bitched him out and left him. What?!
Growing up I remember hearing the women in my life being in love with this show and half of them always used to be angry at Big but then growing up it sounds like most of the female characters in the show are just massive dicks... I'm more of an Ugly Betty man myself.
Also like, Big was right when he said she turned their wedding into a circus - she invited like 200 people without consulting him and got mad at him for "not taking it seriously" when he was trying to work - who do you think is paying for the wedding, Carrie? She couldn't be bothered to include him in any decisions. That whole thing was just a Carrie ego trip.
God, my ex forced me to watch the whole series so we'd watch the movie when it came out and God I wanted to throw something at the screen when SHE PLAYED THE VICTIM!!! And even Charlotte yelled at him! And they played this as him being in the wrong??! WTF?!??!!!!
I've never seen Sex and the City. This is FASCINATING. Knowing she writes a sex column makes so much sense for the concept of the show. Also, do they all just call him "Big"???
As someone who was absolutely THAT toxic bitch in the early years of my marriage, it actually speaks to Big's character that he was willing to keep putting up with her shit because he loved her.
@@Dudebrointhesky If a dude did that, every woman in the audience would be screaming for her to leave his red-flagged ass, and for good reason. Same outrage should apply here!
@@Dudebrointhesky And when she sleeps with that other guy because Big didn't say he loved her. THEN she covers the guy's mouth so he can't talk while Big is on the phone saying he loves her. She played everyone for her own ego gratification.
YES PLEASE do a And Just Like That take!! also, the older you get the more you realize just how messed up Carrie's moral compass, her perception of reality and her place in it was... the finale of season 2 speaks volumes to her main character syndrome (when she suddenly compares herself to a wild horse that cannot be tamed, wtf was all that about)
I'm 27 with no kids and never been married and I still would wait at least 3 or 4 months into a relationship before I felt comfortable telling my parents especially if I think I'm dating a creep who follows me and my mom to church. 😒
I'm 30 and I think if I was REALLY into someone I might tell my parents about them after a couple of months but I'd still wait a couple more before introducing them to one another.
When I started rewatching satc in my 30s I realized growing up with Carrie bradshaw as anyone to look up to for anything love related messed me up worse than any abandonment issues.
I was the same age as them when it was on TV so thank goodness I didn't see something like this as a teenager as I would have been trying to behave like that. Byt the third series I stopped seeing it as a harmless pleasure but ridiculous. But I'd seen women of all ages influenced by SATC with their clothes obsession.
I know so many millennials who have been influenced by SATC with the result being they are: a) they are still running around bar hopping, b) they have no relationships i.e. husband/boyfriend and are unhappy about this, c) they don't have children but a pet, d) things are more important than people and e) they can't take responsibility for the mistakes they made because in SATC it's never Carrie's fault! Now, is this all millenials? No, but I know MANY people who are unhappy and have achieved nothing in their private lives while the clothes and expensive shoes piles up in their closets!
@@fredrika27 There are other reasons why these millennials don't have children than SATC. It's because they can't afford them and also because of over population and climate change. Being childless doesn't make them all unhappy. They are unhappy for other reasons and that's growing poverty and income inequality. So they would be even more unhappy with children as they would be in deeper poverty and constantly worrying. I doubt they have lots of clothes and shoes because they wouldn't be able to afford those either. It was Generation X and older splashing the cash on those in the 80's, late 90's and 00's. They don't have the well paid jobs that boomers and Generation Xers had at the same age and back then rents and house prices were much cheaper so to buy or rent a home was much easier. Generation X was the target audience for Friends and SATC so these arguments about millennials don't hold true.
@@lemsip207 I do agree that millennials have fewer well paying jobs than boomers as well as high debt from college loans. However, Gen Xers also got a raw deal with student loan debt and fewer job opportunities because they were always in the shadow of Boomers. That said, we are going to have to agree to disagree about the audience for Friends and SATC. Gen Xers were born from 1965 to 80 while Millennials were from 1981 to 2001. Having taught college and high school during Friends and SATC heyday I can say that both sets of my students watched the show, especially SATC for fashion. Today, the youngest Millennial is just 21 with the oldest being 40! That's a huge age gap. Being in education I see two types of Millennials: the young parents who want to gain a degree to give their children a better future and the eternally single who has no interest in marry and taking on responsibility even if they have decent jobs. When I see them in the office, most are talking about the one night stand they had or the concert/party they went to--even during Corona! Indeed I find that the girls are more independent leaving home, starting families and purchasing a house than the boys who are staying at home way past the age of 26! Not only that, many millennials talk about the "men on their own" in which the dating pool of men has shrunk to undesirables or men who allegedly don't want to pay their fair share, get a job to feed their kids, nor look after their kids. Returning to TV, I do think television--not just SATC and Friends--has had a huge impact on supporting the single life. For example, in the sci-fi-fantasy children and families are almost invisible with Lost in Space and Star Trek being two of the rare shows that have family life. I think the reason why Full House enjoyed such a large following is because they were basically the only game in town celebrating the family while most other comedies showed singles. Just my opinion.
@@fredrika27 Early Millennials might have watched Friends and SATC but at the time it was aimed at a young adult rather than teenage audience. They were also aimed at people the same age as the main characters who were born in the late 60's. In the UK students had grants until the 90's but at the same time there were fewer places in higher education so it's swings and roundabouts. Fewer people went to university in the 60's, 70's and 80's. As a child and teen I watched all the sit coms because there weren't the children's TV channels and programmes for teenagers such as Saved by the Bell other than the awful Grange Hill. But there was Happy Days. Parents wanted to watch sit coms so we saw them as well. It might be that late boomer mothers enjoyed SATC so their teenage children did. Samantha was the token boomer in it but that wasn't revealed until a later series.
In And Just Like That, When Natasha was like “I don’t understand why he married me when he was always in love with you”. What. Big never loved Carrie, she just wore him down 😂
Just started rewatching two weeks ago. I was in my late 20s when SATC started. Omg Carrie was so needy, whiny, clingy, self absorbed and annoying. Me, me, me, me. Total antithesis of a confident, independent woman of the 90s. I spent hours trying to recall if we were like that as young women in those days and I finally came to the conclusion we were NOT! That church scene was the cringiest ever, and would probably count as a stalker/obsessive red flag nowadays! Yes, in those days getting married was still something most women were focused on, thank God young women today have a broader outlook. I can't imagine my daughter being so obsessed with relationships in this day and age, and I hope she focuses on her own development more 🙈.
I feel like it wasn't even intentional, but sometimes when I'm watching a scene and there aren't talking about Carrie, you can just see her like fidgeting waiting for an opening to throw out like a shitty dismissive comment or an excuse to change the subject back to her.
Maybe I missed it when it was said, but I remember an episode where she made a scene because he always took her to the same restaurant (in my head it was Thai but it could be from another Asian country) and she and her friends saw it as a sign that he wanted to hide their relationship. In the end he just really liked the place.
Carrie is a childish character who has trouble expressing her needs or feelings and uses her column as a means of figuring out what she wants, what is fair, etc. She is therefore very relatable if you're on the same level of maturity. I could relate to a lot when I was younger, tho I liked her friends better. It can be exasperating to watch if you're more mature, but I think plot holes and character inconsistencies aside it's one of the best shows ever made, including the childish main character.
I agree with you, I watched it first from my late teens, then mid twenties and then early thirties. I loved Carrie during the first watch, she was cool and fun and had a dreamy life. But as I mutured I just couldn't see her the same anymore, she is emotionally very immature.
I think there is also the issue of it now being much more common to have flawed main characters who are more self-reflective or that the show ensures you know that they're behaving poorly. I think about the series Girls as an example. There wasn't much of this in the late 90s. So basically you just have Carrie behaving badly and it is just shown without any criticism of that.
I’m in my early 20s and watched Sex and the City as a kid. Big is actually pretty relatable and I really like his character. Carrie is just such a self sabotaging pos
I'm re-watching Sex and The City as this popped up so what epic timing. Carrie and Big are both trash and deserve each other 🤷♀️ Yeah he was pretty openly unavailable but then when he did get married he cheated on his wife with Carrie.
YEEESSS! I've been thinking this forever and the fact that YOU, one of my favorite commentators are doing it is absolutely awesome. Big basically never lies about who he is or what he wants and she ALWAYS assumes things and disappoints herself. It is so irritating.
You forgot the wedding! Big: I want a small wedding is that fine? Carrie: Sure! C: *throws a circus of a wedding* B: *second guesses the whole thing* C: *surprised Pikachu face* Charlotte: HE'S AN UNREASONABLE MONSTER!!!!!!! Me: is this the upside down world? 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
He still is. He could've told her to stop planning. They both could've not used Miranda, who was vulnerable, as a scapegoat for their shitshow of a relationship. They didn't break up for the millionth time, because she had a moment and said marriage sucks. They are way too old to use that as an excuse. They did it because they are selfish people, each in their own way. I also love how everyone went on Carrie's honeymoon to comfort her, and when Miranda's mother in law had dementia and ran away, no one was there to help. Miranda deserved a lot better and is so much more relateable. Life and marriage don't condist only of buying expensive shoes.
@@verakukic243 Looking back I realised I preferred Miranda out of the four. She was more grounded. At the time I thought she looked to mannish with her short hair and suits. Her character developed the most with each series.
@@verakukic243 I agree. Miranda telling him he was crazy for getting married and it actually getting to his head basically means that he was already having a lot of doubts about the wedding. It's not fair to blame Miranda for making a comment when she was upset. She even wanted to tell Carrie but Charlotte told her to wait. Carrie would have tore into her then, unfortunately, so I get it. I don't buy that Miranda's comment was the thing that ruined everything. Maybe it was the last straw that broke the camels back, but Big already had loads of straw on his back. And yeah, Miranda often gets overlooked because she thinks differently and isn't a huge drama queen like Carrie.
Im 20 and watched sex and the city about a year ago to see what the hype was about, and I didnt really like the main characters. They seemed judgemental and kind of stupid... Times are moving forward
The worst was when she got back together with Aidan and Big still calls and even goes to his cottage.. fights... gets drunk. Incredible. Also when she sent Aidan to help miranda with her bad neck was just a failed friendship move.
Aidan telling Carrie, “There’s no one I could love more” is one of the script’s most devastating lines, in retrospect. The manipulative monkey that is Carrie Bradshaw robbed the man of dignity. Here’s hoping that Kathy (Aidan’s wife) is the better half and that she either didn’t find out or forgave Aidan for smooching Carrie in Abu Dhabi
Please do a sequel with ‘Just Like That’! I haven’t watched it yet because I’m a Samantha fan and can’t deal with her not being there. I need some justification for not touching the reboot with a ten foot pole
With the introvert thing, it might still have some correlation with being quieter or at least perceived to be quiet. Just because we need more time on our own and therefor often spent more time doing activities that can be done alone (like reading, drawing...) and don't involve social interaction. Also, in my case, I think I'm often perceived as quiet just because when I'm around people it is draining for me, no matter how much I might enjoy the company. So I have to retreat from time to time to recharge. Especially when I'm with a group of people and not just one person. I kind of like that now because I just feel way better and don't exhaust myself trying to force myself to interact more with people to appear 'normal' or to avoid confusing people. So the majority of the time I am actually quiet, listen more or even go and sit in a corner alone for a while. I can be loud though at times but I just can't do that for long because I don't have the energy to interact with people in general over a prolonged time.
Remember when Jack Berger broke up with Carrie on a Post-it? Here’s what he said: “I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me.” IMO he was too polite, being the sensitive guy that he was - the kind of guy that Carrie likes to play with and dress up like a Ken to her Barbie before she tosses him into her toy box and forgets all about him … because he’s just a toy that she got bored with. Here’s what he should have written, and he wouldn’t even need a whole Post-it: “GTFOOH. Sorry, not sorry.” You are spot-on about shallow self-centered Carrie, and also about Samantha being the true central character. Also IMO Samantha (Kim Cattrall) should have her own show, about a woman in her 60s enjoying her solo life and still having great, fun, uncomplicated, honest sex … or not. Whatever Samantha wants to do. It could be called Samantha Jones in London Town. Or whatever.
Is this what toxic femininity looks like? It sounds like it has very similar motivations to toxic masculinity but is executed in slightly different ways.
I wasn’t ever able to find Carrie interesting enough to get into the show. I saw the clip once of her realizing she’d spent $40,000 on shoes and all I could think was, “Do you know how many books that would buy?!”
I watch SATC regularly and it's always baffled me that people don't see that she's the worst. When I started watching it years ago I pretty much watched it for every character except Carrie. She always bugged me with her self-absorbed attitude.
Sex and the City was really really popular when I was young, and I only ever watched it when my mom had it on (which was A LOT) and I remember thinking then when she started dating Aleksandr, she got what was coming to her for how she was with Big. Maybe I was wrong? Idk
Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother was fine when watching the show weekly. He's absolutely insufferable in the era of streaming when you are seeing him back to back.
I would LOVE to see you do a video about "And Just Like That." SATC is a show I always go back to. It's a guilty pleasure comfort for me. As much as I cringe at the characters it's somehow fun to yell at the screen while they're making mistakes and see each one exhibit their archetype. Add on: A rebrand for the show's title could be "Toxicity And The City" 🙃
I also hate the way they ended with Carrie & Big having the fairytale ending. He cheated on BOTH of his previous wives, he obviously didn’t value vows & someone like that isn’t going to just change. “Once a cheater always a cheater” is a saying for a reason. Someone like that actually changing would be the exception NOT the rule.
it hit me so hard when I was watching some old episodes again recently and I realized for the first time that Big was actually the good person very often - he never promised Carrie anything, he never comitted and left, he was just taking it slow bc that's probably how he felt about their relationship.. and she was making up all these scenarios in her head, blaming him for being this or that without actually talking to him first about her concerns (she was never talking and then she was just exploding and he was clueless wtf is going on). I loved this show so much for years and now the characters seem so silly for me, so childish
Just so you all know: Candiace Bushnell, the woman who wrote the original Sex and the City columns and who inspired the character of Carry Bradshaw, stated that it's unrealistic for Big and Carrie to get married. She said this years before And Just Like That.
I marathoned the series once with my mom, and we sometimes do end up rewatching it when I visit. The more time goes on, the more problems I start to find with the characters’ choices and attitudes, but from the beginning I’ve always been most pissed off about Carrie and Big cheating with each other. More specifically, the fact that (to my memory) Big was the one trying to initiate it. Pushing for Carrie even though he was engaged and Carrie was already seeing someone else. Pushing for it even when Carrie said no, over and over again. It concerns me that Mom just doesn’t see the issue in that, or at least no problem further than them cheating with each other. I’m also still frustrated that they kept pushing Big as the “one true love” for Carrie. We see them fighting with each other, several times they are miserable being with each other, several times they break up because they can’t reach a healthy compromise with the other’s differences, not to mention the whole thing with Big trying so hard to get with Carrie behind his fiancée’s back-why do they still want to be together so bad when they clearly don’t work out as a couple? ETA: Holy shit I also just remembered the bit about her sending Aidan to help Miranda to the hospital when Miranda threw out her neck. Like…not only did you send your boyfriend, who had to walk in on your friend who just got out of the shower and is naked and very vulnerable because she *cannot move without being in great pain*-then you visit her later when she’s in a neck brace, and immediately go off about whatever drama you have with your boyfriend?? Instead of BEING WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FRIEND WHO IS IN A NECK BRACE. I do think Miranda can be a bit too much of a hard ass sometimes, but I totally agree with her going off on Carrie in this case.
I used to have this friend who IDOLIZED (at least, in my opinion) Sex and the City and they tried to hard to fit our fluctuating friend group into this friendship dynamic. Months after I've realized that I'm almost always the one initiating interactions and that they've fucked me up emotionally and mentally almost beyond repair, I'm almost certain that this former (?) friend of mine tried to be Carrie Bradshaw...(as in, turning every fucking conversation to be about themselves, inflating their issues to seem a lot graver than they are, being unable to healthily communicate with their partner, even after relentless advice from multiple friends)
Big always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was Carrie that threw tantrums. We never saw him throw food at the wall. Big was handsome, charismatic, and wealthy. Carrie was just not in that league. She could look cute, but she was no beauty. It was hard to understand why he put up with her tantrums. Maybe he found her eccentricities amusing. I think Carrie was only interesting because of Big and with him gone, she is boring. The remake series doesn't offer anything for the majority of women. There are no masculine men. The clothes are ugly and the women aren't much to look at either. The subject matter is crass and the character interactions are too bizarre.
i have a friend who i was pretty sure was introverted but then i realized she is just very kind of shy and a mild soft extrovert. and a person who coincidentally loves to read. she is hanging out with someone all the time. she just needs to be with someone all the time to fuel herself and can't wait til next time she sees someone she knows. while i can be pretty loud and out there and might be mistaken for an extrovert. but going once a week of seeing people or less is enough for me. sometimes once every two weeks even. it just takes alot of mental energy to hang with people even though i enjoy it. i need some mental space until next time lol
Ooh interesting, thanks. I suppose it was different in the States and they already had a longstanding 'dating around' culture then, but in the UK in the 90s I think (unless it was explicitly said otherwise and I knew they had other partners, or obviously a 'hook up' thing) if we were 'going out' I would've assumed they were faithful from the start. But I know that's hypothetical as they're in the States anyway. Yes I'd be interested in a thorough review of AJLT. I've seen things like the podcast and the Miranda being racist thing, and it just sounds like a dire box ticking exercise of political correctness by numbers, with every possible 'right on' modern thing shoehorned in. It's not even true to character as I don't think Miranda ever seemed like she would be racist/clumsy like that.
I always think of Carrie/Big as a terrible relationship. Let's put blame aside for a minute. Who is right or the asshole doesn't matter all that much. They want completely different things. They want the other person to be someone else. Carrie gets upset when her expectations aren't met and Big does too. Okay well at what point do you realise that these bumps on the road are going to be permanent? Time to find someone that respects you and gives you what you want.
Not to mention she was so uptight but was extremely trashy. I got so mad when she didnt appreciate Alexander's date because she was "American" and ended up at McDonald
Honestly, as I mentioned in another comment, I refuse to give the new show a chance but I got spoiled about him dying and my first thought was "really? All those episodes about those two, plus the movies, only to have him die in the sequel??" But then again r*pe allegations started to come out against the actor and I thought that maybe he doesn't need to be in the spotlight at all. Prison sounds better.
There was something similar with a show from my country. There wasn't a new series but a book, I looked through in the store and it was disappointing the guy just died out of nowhere and the book was about the heroine getting her life together after this. I'd buy the book for nostalgia sake (even if the show had similar problems to Sex in the City) but nope, that's not what I'd like out of this.
THANK YOU!!!! I have always said Carrie was the problem. Her therapist even told her one episode, but she didn't listen, of course. How she treated Aiden was horrible. Everything she wanted in a guy was Aiden and she played him badly.
Hmm, I wouldn’t say Big meeting Carrie at 3 AM to stand still in the middle of the park makes him emotionally available. That’s him giving his time and attention, so it does count, but far from emotional availability. Then again, both of them are horrible communicators and both almost equally added to the drama. Her with relentless assumptions about what he wants, and him with lack of openness about where he is emotionally. But he showed avoidant attachment, and Carrie showed anxious attachment, which is common in relationships. The push-pull dynamic + lack of self-awareness = hell. I remember watching the originals on HBO, and as a journalism major at the time, I was initially so drawn to Carrie’s style & having her own place, as well as her closeness with her friends. But then when I watched from the start the second time, I started to feel uneasy about her (I was in my early 20s & still new to dating myself.) I tried to look at it from Big’s POV and was like “wait…he didn’t say that..they never discussed that…why is she perpetually acting around him…” it made me think dating was going to be nothing but pain. and now, like 10 years on, we all see she’s kinda trash. It takes 2 to tango. As she said in that one ep about S&M, she was “addicted to the exquisite pain” of loving him. Those are the hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, etc) that got released as they kept having sex, showing physical affection, etc. Case in point: bang with caution. Chemical dependency is real.
What a wonderful comment! You are so right about Carrie and about Big. I never understood why Carrie was his One, or he hers. What do they have in common besides sex and living in New York City? There’s your title: Sex and the City. Are the writers telling us that that’s all there is? Furthermore, in the horrible And Just Like That sequel, the writers have no idea what makes a marriage good or bad: to them, Miranda is in a bad marriage because she’s bored, Carrie was in a good marriage because she “went out” and lived large with a guy she literally called “Big”! Whatever happened to the importance of companionship? Is companionship boring?
@@Hollis_has_questions thanks, and I agree with your points, too! I guess the Sex part wasn’t even meant to point to relationships but maybe just the physical act and all the different versions of it? We did see quite the array in the show, especially with Carrie dating a lot (probably a big reason why her getting with Big needed to be delayed, for her column!), but mostly thanks to the other 3 women’s dating lives, too. Especially Samantha, who I really miss! We saw Charlotte’s first “dream marriage” being initially destroyed by the lack of it, and that was a much better presentation of how lack of sex can ravage a marriage, especially for those whose love language includes physical touch (which is still not everyone!). I agree that the current setup with Miranda & Steve was under-developed and poorly presented. How did they not even go to counseling about it, see a sex therapist, etc? Too few episodes, I guess. 🤷🏻♀️ and then to have Steve say he’s gonna keep his ring & commitment to her forever? Why didn’t they at least discuss an open marriage? I concur that love changes as time goes on. I am only in my mid 30s and not married, so as of now, I don’t know if I’d be happy without some level of physical affection/desire for my partner & visa versa. But I know menopause has effects on our bodies, libido goes down for men as testosterone drops, which begins as early as their 30s, too. Perhaps they left the sex out of the name this time for that reason? Yet they can’t seem to stop bringing it up because they know audiences expect it. I agree, very little about the Carrie-Big dynamic is believable or worthy of being called relationship goals, because while they do seem to kinda get along, I never felt more than sexual attraction between them, either! Kinda feels like Carrie is all about the chase, and finally “catching” him was all that mattered. She wanted his money & influence/affluence. It’s as superficial as it gets 😑 and that may have been interesting during that era, but I feel it is no longer seen as so impressive, society is shifting a lot. I prefer to look at couples like Charlotte & Harry as an example, even if she is kinda weirdly blowing up at him lately. I think they’ve shown more endurance & depth as a couple. I also liked Naya and her man (forget his name) but I feel they’re better off splitting up if he’s unable to let go of wanting a child. They could adopt, but if he’s not going to let it go, he will grow resentful of Naya, given she’s happy as they are. Compatibility trumps chemistry in the long run!
@@Liolia22 I think I love you! Not many people respond to my wordy comments with wordy comments, especially comments as insightful as yours. It’s usually either a thumbs-up or a troll, right? I have a Zoom event coming up, so I’ll try to get back to this reply afterwards. Oh, and Nya and Andre darn well should get a divorce. But the writers would prefer to have them argue over and over about the same trigger issue: Andre wants to reproduce, but Nya doesn’t. I’m with her - I’ve never wanted children, so I never had ‘em. At age 67, I couldn’t be happier about that decision.
@@Hollis_has_questions I feel like I have a lot to learn from you, and I love you back as a fellow human who thinks deeply about things!! So happy to find like-minded, chatty, detailed people like you, in, of all places, a YT comments section, typically the place where humanity goes to die! 😆 please take your time with any reply!! 🤗
@@Liolia22 I’d like to talk about why Miranda hooked up with Steve, Charlotte with Trey, Carrie with John, and Samantha: We liked Miranda because she chose a regular guy, a barkeep and handyman, an easygoing dude who loved her for inner, not just outer, qualities. Back in the ‘90s, Miranda likewise appreciated those qualities in him and saw that Steve was a real keeper, the kind of person she’d be foolish to discard just because he belonged to a less prestigious class of New Yorkers. And we viewers appreciated Miranda for her clarity of judgment. Charlotte and Trey were a couple for the most superficial of reasons: Trey wanted eye-and-arm candy, Charlotte wanted the prestige of an upper-class “old family” to marry into, with all the affluence that came with it. Once she got what she thought she wanted, though, it was a case of “Be careful what you wish for.” The lack of any physical relationship was something Charlotte hadn’t expected - or am I forgetting something? (DISCLAIMER: I’ve only seen SaTC 2x, which was enough for me. So I could be forgetting or misremembering things. If so, please don’t hesitate to correct me.) Then, when Charlotte surprised herself into Harry’s bed, she was shocked that she had just had the best, most exciting and fulfilling sex of her life … with a hairy little Jewish homunculus! It was an inner struggle for her to come to terms with that. Remember when she wanted him to shave his furry back at Samantha’s pool party? Among myriad other demands. It was very difficult for shallow Charlotte to throw out her childishly preconceived notions and become a better, more thoughtful person capable of a mature love, a person able to expand her worldview enough to embrace everything about Harry, not just the great sex. After Samantha, Charlotte became a more honest and generous emotional human being. I rate Charlotte and Miranda - the Charlotte and Miranda of the original series - as having evolved fairly well. Carrie, otoh, was then and still is a shallow human being, inside and out. There are what many (not I) consider great clothes and shoes and stuff like that, but don’t try to look any farther than that because inside there’s a soul capable only of self-centered preoccupation. Kinda like the writers of this disaster. In the AJLT episodes when she texts the absent yet ever-present Samantha, it’s always only I, I, I. She never once asks Samantha how things are going for her, who she’s banging, what’s new, etc. Whenever there’s a pity party, she plays the “My husband is dead” card, the card she thinks trumps all others. [ASIDE: My husband, coincidentally another John, also died of a massive heart attack, sitting next to me, behind the wheel of our 3/4-ton Dodge pick-up. It was no fancy Peloton ride and I wasn’t wearing Manolo Blahblahblahs, but I had the sense to scream for help, to call 9-1-1, and to wait on the side of the road watching a wonderful stranger giving John CPR, waiting for the ambulance that came too late. I’ll spare you the deets, but it ended up being a 4-day ordeal … and only then, just like that, John died. I never used it as a way to get attention, like Carrie does. I’m not about “winning.” My John died in April 2002, so this will be the 20th anniversary. Sure, the first decade after was hard. But time can heal. Like Steve, I keep my wedding ring on, it’s pretty much my only jewelry since I’m not much for accessories. I haven’t dated and I’m not interested. I’m having an amazing life all by myself. But thoughts of John and great memories of our 25 years are always with me. Always. I could say so much more, but I’ve already said way too much, so let’s get back to tearing Carrie a new one lol.] None of the four read books except for Carrie, who only reads HER books. Her life is mere pretense; her closet has more depth than she has. I’m not trying to be clever or cutesy - I really mean it about her closet. Many of us have wondered why people are drawn to Carrie. We know what happens to moths drawn to a flame. She’s a taker, not a giver. If she were an X-Man, she’d be Rogue. She rogued Aidan into submission. Berger alone had the sense to break loose, and I approve of his Post-it, dripping with irony, to break up with a writer. Petrovsky alone could take her or leave her. I think he regarded her as a high-strung expensive breed of poodle that was in his life merely to amuse him for a while. That’s who and what Carrie was, is, and, knowing these writers, ever will be. She was never about Ever Thine, she’s always been Ever I. Now, let’s talk about Samantha Jones, easily the most honest, compassionate, mature, open and giving of the four. Sam has an ongoing relationship with herself. She declares as much when she breaks up with Smith. But they remain good friends and occasional fuck buddies. She doesn’t lie, she only rarely schemes - remember her jealousy of Richard”s other women? That was the aberration that proved the rule. Samantha could have sprung, fully formed, from Athena’s head, she alone of the four knows herself as Socrates intended. Her lovers love that about her. She doesn’t dick around, she does dick. Without the shame ever-present in guilty minds. Now that I think of it, I believe that I watched SaTC primarily for Ms. Jones. Her clothes looked so fabulous on her that you didn’t notice the shoes. Her gaze is direct, her demeanor genuine and guileless. Carrie could have learned a lot from Samantha, even made her the subject of one of her books … but that would require introspection on Carrie’s part, she would have to actually see Samantha for who she is. And I don’t think Carrie is willing to work that hard.
You are absolutely right. If Carrie wanted Big to be exclusive to her. She should have sat him down and had this conversation with him. Communicate like real adults.
I’m 35 a just started watching SATC for the first time ever. I’m SO glad I didn’t watch this show during my transformative romantic years. It’s the epitome of the AWFUL “advice” women have been fed over the last few decades.
Also when Big was going to Paris for work, he didn't even INVITE her, she invited herself!! But he was the asshole right?? She was always PUSHING herself into his life instead of just letting things happen. Years later after she finally lands the man of her "Dreams," she can't even dial 911 to save his life! NOW... this entitles her to play the "my husbands dead" card! "My husbands dead, I win!" My mouth dropped when she said that!! Worst , most self centered character in SATC and continuing right along into AJLT!! So glad you made this video because the list of what a piece of crap she was is sooooo long, if you think you missed anything, I'll be glad to send you mine!!
Carrie is the worst. I haven't watched the reboot because I don't want to if Samantha isn't in it. After rewatching the series in my mid thirties: my cold, spinster, loves to be alone, child free, heart was definitely melted by Charlotte's storyline and that was not something I was not expecting at all.
Omg I couldn't agree with you more! I had been watching the series for years, then when I saw both movies I realized she was a vulnerable narcissist who enjoyed creating drama without ever taking responsibility for her actions and blamed others. She was emotionally needy, entitled, and lacked true empathy while draining everyone around her, hogging everyone's attention with her nonsense. In a word...TOXIC!!!!
One thing I could never stand about Carrie was how she treated Natasha. She painted her as some kind of stuck up awful villain for being Big's wife when she really did nothing wrong at all. Meanwhile, Carrie sleeps with her husband, in her own bed by the end! Then when she found out that Natasha despised her, Carrie tried to go an explain her "side" to Natasha, bemoaning "I can't believe there's anyone in NY that hates me that much!". How shameless can one person be?
THANK YOU! So many fans see Natasha as the bad guy. She was so respectful towards Carrie from day one. Carrie interrupts them at the party to talk to Big. Natasha politely excuses herself. Then Natasha invites Carrie to the engagement party for her and Big. Natasha misuses a word on the invite -- "Hope to see you their" - instead of "there" and Carrie calls her an idiot. Misspellings are common. Not everyone is a professional writer.
Honestly, one of the best moments of the show is when Natasha gives her a reality check on the restaurant. The nerve of carrie to go and interrumpt her date...
The worst thing is that the only thing she gets from the conversation is "now natasha is on the single market again" 🤦🏻♀️
I do not understand how anyone who slept with someone else husband could be shocked that, their wife does not like her
And Carrie would always do this pathetic victim routine anytime she screwed up. She cheats on Aiden and then she throws herself at him like "aw I'm such a terrible person, wow, you must hate me so much, I'm awful" basically forcing him to comfort her and make her feel okay about the things she did! That was the whole point of her ambushing Natasha at dinner. She wanted to come in and have Natasha tell her that it was fine. Carrie is so insanely selfish.
Plus how Carrie pushed her injured friend, Miranda, off on her “nice guy” boyfriend Aiden.
What about that time Carrie was going to lose her apartment because she spent all of her own money on shoes and then proceeds to try and convince Charlotte to sell her engagement ring to pay for it and then gets pissed at her for refusing. Why Charlotte gave in in the end I will never know. Carrie is one of the most selfish characters ever put to screen.
I think the apartment had protected rent on it and then the owner of the building decided to turn it into a co-op which meant everyone living in it had to buy a share of it to live in it and be vetted. That's why she had never bothered to buy a home.
Exactly, I hated how the show portrayed her entitlement and made Charlotte look like a judgemental friend.
What I find insane about that plot is that Samantha, Miranda and Big ALL wanted to help out and offer cash but she insisted on the one thing that had sentimental value for Charlotte.
@@akinayan7208LITERALLY INSANE TS DROVE ME MADDD
omg I hated the way she treated Charlotte the expectations WTH I would sleep in a park , sell my blood , whatever before imposing on a friend
I remember the episode where her laptop breaks and she loses all her work. Her then BF Aiden buys her a new laptop and an external hard drive as a gift. Carrie's response is basically "I have a perfectly good broken laptop you monster!" In Twitter speak, she's toxic
I recently watched the episode where she's with him for the first time round and keeps waking up at night disturbed because her relationship is (at the time) DRAMA FREE so she complains about it, lmaoo
Aiden’s case is a whole other messed up story on Carrie’s side. Never understood how they made her out to be the good guy in that.
Yes but the show was showing Carrie being stubborn and unreasonable in that episode. The show wasn't siding with her. They wrote Aiden to act like the most perfect boyfriend, while writing Carrie to act unreasonable and unlikable. Even her friends were mad at her sometimes because of how she treated Aiden or how self-centered she was. She was the bad guy sometimes. And I think that's way more interesting than a main character that never does any wrong.
@@aardfay I think the problem is that while the show shows us how ridiculous she is, she's never self aware enough to realize she brought all this upon herself, she never learn or grows from it. She just goes "woe is me!" and then finds another dude to mess with.
@@bluestarkiller The episode ends with Carrie writing: "After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot. And when that fails, a little gizmo called a zip drive can provide a surprising amount of comfort... So can a boyfriend if you can learn to let him."
I would call that being self-aware that she had just been pushing him away the whole episode and by end she realizes she should learn to let him into her life more.
And while I agree that she repeats many of her mistakes (like most people), it's not true that she's never self-aware and never grows. What you might be referring to is her pattern of needing closeness and security with a partner, but as soon as she gets there she feels suffocated and anxious and ends up sabotaging the relationship. That's a loop that many people get stuck in. It's a deeper personality trait that doesn't go away in just one episode, or maybe ever.
Carrie is the embodiment of the victim complex. Creates problems then wants everybody to feel bad for her because she is the "victim"
Yep 100%...classic vulnerable narcissist.
She's a narcissist.
Absolutely hate how she acts like a child whenever she gets herself into these situations. Like covering up her face, making little whiny noises, etc. She always wanted everyone to make her feel like it was okay that she acted like a selfish jerk.
I work with somebody who acts like that.. it's so exhausting to have to deal with IRL.
Can we talk about how she begged Aidan to get back together but refused to cut Big out of her life when Aidan communicated his insecurity about it! That was more than a fair request and she was just like “nah, he’s in my life. I know I cheated on you with him but i don’t care. Get over it.” She wanted her cake and be able to eat it too.
Those episodes were INSANE. Aidan got pissed at her, so all of a sudden she started clinging on to him and throwing herself at him. Then when Aidan relents and shows up at her apartment, she realizes she has him hooked again, so she can start playing games with Aidan by saying she won't cut Big out. She's obsessed with pushing people away or hurting them so she can see how much they'll fight to be in her life, how much they'll put up with.
Agreed. This didn’t do much to portrait women as emotionally adult, accountable and decent human beings. She’s infuriating
The irony is that if the situation were reversed, you wouldn´t find A SINGLE WOMAN OUT THERE who would accept her cheating boyfriend telling her that he won´t cut contact with the ex he slept with over the course of several months behind her back. If he were to shake his head and tell her "I can´t do that... she´s in my life. Not the way you are, but she is", every woman would lose her shit. More than twenty years after this episode aired, I nevertheless still see women actually defending Carrie´s "right" to stay in touch with Big, and seriously calling Aidan "controlling and toxic" because he dared to demand that she never sees Big again.
When you put it that way, SATC could be called a gender flip of Blake Edwards films of the early 1980s. In those movies angsty, generally successful middle aged men fool around with pretty young women and later get back with the women they treated like crap. It was the whole vibe of, why shouldn’t you be able to have it all? Not unlike Carrie.
@jarosad: What does “he’s in my life” even mean? Sounds as if Carrie truly wanted to have Big as a backup f**kbuddy/ATM, Aidan’s feelings be damned. So infuriating
The scene where Aidan yells to Carrie: ‘You broke my heart!’ has been living in my head rent free for 10+ years. And how did Carrie deal with that? She fu*king ran away. What a class act.
And then when she meets him years later and she gets excited to screw with him once more, except he's already married with kids and perfectly happy. Karma's a bish...
omg and then she cries about being the villain in someone's life story. remember the story about the girl making a mean face at her because carrie treated someone horribly? and carrie flipping out and running all over town to confront that girl?
@@nostradamus1162 remember "you have to forgive me! You HAVE to forgive me!!"?
He was really powerful in that scene. Here is something completely random about John Corbett that has nothing to do with this but which you may find amusing....I knew a girl who worked on the SATC set when he was there & she said he was totally bonkers & one day started just randomly yelling "Julia Roberts is a f'n whore!" That's been living rent free in my head for about 20 years now 😄
@@Gigibaby88 That is funny since I never could stand Julia Roberts.
The whole 'Carrie showing up at the church for Sunday Service' was SUCH an invasion of privacy! They'd only been dating a few months... like... Just because you're dating someone doesn't entitle you to their entire life, including their family.
Addition: There could have been a million reasons Big didn’t want to introduce her to his mother at that time. Sure, maybe it was because he didn’t think Carrie was good enough to meet his family. But also, maybe he didn’t feel he knew her well enough yet. Maybe he wasn’t sure how serious the relationship was. Maybe he hadn’t talked to his mother in 20 years, and going to church with her was their way of rekindling their relationship, and Big wasn’t even ready to tell Carrie all of that, let alone introduce her to his mother. Big set a boundary with Carrie, and Carrie violated that boundary.
Huh I only now while reading this comment realised that I was in a similar position lol.
I just left a guy for this exact reason, because he never introduced me to his parents, and sure we were long distance for a while, there weren't many opportunities when I was abrosd and I respect that a person takes as much time as they need to know if I'm right for them. But now we had this whole christmas situation where everyone is doing family things and I had already adressed how I felt, and I believe I've run out of time and excuses to make for "what if's". This is the moment I packed my stuff and went wherever my ass is appreciated.
Sure I had to bug all my friends if someone will take a moment after they did family time on christmas so I'm not home alone crying because this shit is depressing, but this scene of Carrie forcing this meeting is even worse.
Of course the guy came back and said he loves me and thinks I'm the one, and that's just such a nice thing to say and even hear, but I don't want to remember the part of my life where I had to start nagging about this. This story has reached its expiration date and has started to spoil and stink, it's not my story anymore, if anything it's his tragedy.
Sorry that I went on to vent on you😂
But ya wtf Carrie, that shit's weird. Let's not do that...
Carrie has a habit of overstepping other people’s boundaries. For example, she stalked Natasha for weeks to force the two to talk about Carrie’s affair with her husband. Natasha made it very clear that she did not want to speak to her husband’s mistress. But that didn't stop Carrie. She pushed forward and disrupted Natasha’s lunch so she could apologize. Not for the sake of Natasha but really to ease her own guilt.
My parents are narcissistic. I wouldn't introduce them to anyone right away. Maybe after being in a relationship for a year or so, maybe never :) Families can be complicated or just not be very close. He also introduced her to friends and colleagues, so he wasn't clearly "ashamed" of her, or whatever she was thinking.
@@Silly_u1908 That always bothered me. Carrie also always fixates on the wrong things and pushes people to get what she wants. Like the girl that dated Aiden after Carrie. She had a reaction to Carrie that Carrie obsessed over and wouldn't let it go. Carrie does these horrible things that hurts people and then she turns around and expects these people NOT to hate her, and to forgive her. I remember when Big and Natasha were dating. What was Carrie's reaction? Jealousy, of course, but she insulted Natasha and hated her for dating and then marrying Big. It would have been different if Carrie had been with Big and Natasha started sleeping with Big. But that wasn't the case at all. The woman had no self awareness whatsoever.
I think the reason he didn't introduce her at the time, is yes, they had only been dating 6 months at the time if I remember correctly AND this was something special he did with his mother. And she had to go and ruin that by stalking him. Sick.
And let’s not forget when found out Big was married…She tracked down his ex, found out who she was and what she did for a living and pretended she was writing a book so she could talk to her! WHO does that?!!
Also when she "investigates" the man she is dating by rampaging his room for "clues". What insane person does that😂
@@mysterygurl847 That’s right! Omg that was UNHINGED 😂
it's the behavior of a psychotic STALKER..
She drove me nuts! She was whiney, clingy, codependent, obsessive and all around just a train wreck. Ugh, yeah, she was the worst.
Carrie is a pedophile's dream; he gets the advantages of being in a relationship with a child, but can't be arrested for it.
Yes and she shrieks 💀💀💀
There are so many terrible Carrie moments, but the worst for me was her spending all her money on shoes and then guilt tripping her best friend Charlotte into giving up her engagement from her previous marriage to help her with a deposit for Carrie’s apartment.
I’m sorry, but your friend being divorced does not entitle you to help. Carrie made her choice to spend all her money on hundred of shoes for $500-1000 each, and didn’t put any money in savings for future.
She had no one to blame but herself.
Charlotte should've stuck to her guns when she said "it is not MY job to fix your finances" and left it at that.. who cares if it ended a friendship. Charlotte didn't owe Carrie anything. Carrie had imploded her own life by dumping Aidan, let her figure it out!
She was always whining at about big, or at big. When she was with Aiden, he gave her what she wanted, but she treated him like crap.
God, don't get me started on what she did to Aiden. All that's happened to her and she still hasn't paid off all the bad Karma for what she did to him.
pretty sexist writing tbh. "women just don't know what they want!!" ugh
@@hinasakukimi no...it's literally the plot
@@hinasakukimi ohh yeah of course the writing is sexist! i thought you meant the commenter was sexist, i apologize :)
@@hinasakukimi now i see that you even wrote 'the writing is so sexist'. i'm really sorry, i overread that somehow!
Carrie Bradshaw IS THE WORST. She is a horrible friend, she's incredibly egotistical and she mistreated Aiden terribly. Nuff' said.
I remember watching this show as a 20 something woman and being appalled that a) Carrie was the embodiment of every horrible stereotype of women in a relationship: clingy, irrational, hypocritical, volatile, selfish, demanding etc.; but even worse that b) in this show, she's the *protagonist*. She's somehow meant to be seen as this modern independent woman just trying to make her fairy tale come true. It was so cringey and frustrating even then and I fear would only be worse if I went back and watched the series again.
I watch this show very differently with a 40-something's eyes vs a 20-something's eyes.. Carrie acted like a child and frequently threw temper tantrums. she spilled vodka on Big's carpet in one instance, and also threw a filet-o-fish at his TV when he said he was going to Paris for WORK. she's exhausting.. he would've been done with her after the first temper tantrum.. I can promise you that Natasha never acted like that, and she was younger than Carrie. he would've stayed married to Natasha, at least long enough for a couple of kids, if these characters were real ppl. I don't think he ever intended on divorcing her (even on the show).
@@Stephanie_Ella How about when they first broke up... She broke up with BIG because he didn't want to tell her that "she's the one". Watching this as teen didn't bring up any questions BUT in my 30s I'm like ...."wait, havent you and BIG only been talking for a few months?!".....are you seriously forcing this man to tell you you're the one after a few months and acting like hes doing something wrong. The man was previously divorced, he wants to breath😐. Then, she did the same thing when SHE felt like she loved him and wanted to say it and HE wasnt ready. 🙁🙄. This woman is ins@ne.
@mkay7163: If Carrie absolutely must wear the *protagonist* aesthetic, then it’s worth clarifying that the corresponding label is *villain*
If Carrie wanted commitmen she would have loved Aiden, because he did nothing but be loyal and did anything she wanted 😂 but she fucking couldn't stand it
But they weren't suited. Aiden loved the countryside, dogs and children and Carrie didn't want any of these in her life.
@@lemsip207 Carrie is not rigth neither for Aiden not for the Big.Aiden is family orienteted.Carrie want to life a very glamours life and to share this kind of life with her partner.Big want a quit simply life.He too dont look for publishity and stuff like that.He just want to spend a quity tie with his partner ,but that for carrie is boring and hi is living like some granpa this is her words.Sometimes i thing that to have a partner is like some kind of accessoary to have and so off to people.I cant understant how those man fall in love with her.She sure have a good quatis too ,but she is not a wifey of serious partner material.
@@anniep.8771 I think part of it is that Carrie lives for drama and if there is none, it stresses her out.
he was too nice for her.
There's a reason Big always referred to Carrie endearingly as "kid", because Carrie is such a little child with no self-awareness and Big has to be the sensible adult who thinks about things before enacting them.
I always thought that was a reference to Casablanca
@@rhi_danceswithwolves good point, maybe it is.
he never respected her.. not since day 1 when condoms fell out of her purse. they never would've dated IRL. he'd even insinuated that she was a prostitute.
Big was a horrible creep.
Carrie is awful, but Big is no better. He doesn't communicate at all and only stresses out people around him (he had no connections in the hospital sans Carrie, that's a red flag). He fuels neurotic Carrie's insecurities and messes up peace of her, by proxy her friends' and Aidan's lives. He cheats on his wives and is avoidant, who won't keep his word, dipping last minute. He overhypes and underdelivers constantly. Often straight up invading Carrie's life, stepping on all the boundaries with his calls, drive-thrus etc. when she finally seems distracted and happy.
Even when I watched it in the 90's I considered Carrie and Charlotte the annoying toll I paid to see Miranda and Samantha regularly. Also I can't forgive Carrie for the way she treated Aidan. Now that I consider it, the way she treated everyone. It was hilarious the way the show seemed to think she was amazing.
Me, too.
OMG, same! I watched for Samantha and Miranda. Samantha was the heart and soul of SaTC, and I could relate the most with Miranda (the OG Miranda, NOT the AJLT Miranda).
Carrie was very entitled..
@@Stephanie_Ella Loved early seasons' Miranda the most, but adored Sam's spirit too, they are definitely my faves. Most realistic and least "boy crazy" ironically, considering Sam's libido. Calling out double standards left and right, reality checking everything around them. They were great friends too, having others' backs, being honest about situations and usually carrying the friend group, helping solve the problems or invite everyone for a night out. Wish they had more moments as a duo. Would love to hang out with them IRL.
Charlotte seemed stuck-up, judgmental and naive hopeless romantic, pushing that ideal on others. But I liked her strong boundaries, ability to just walk away when she is not vibing, knowing what she wants, not settling, expressing her wants and being there for her friends when it mattered and the ways she knew how - usually appearances and finances. I view her neutrally, sometimes with awe, sometimes with clenched teeth.
My least favorite is Carrie, she acts like entitled teenager with main character syndrome, avoiding responsibility, playing "I'm just a little girl" victim card even when her own actions have consequences, dragging her friends into her relationship drama and financial irresponsibility. Avoiding thinking about reality, future, making snide comments about undeserving people and not prioritizing or having her friends' best interests at heart at all, giving them horrible advice and lashing out at them when they give her sound advice. She's not very trustworthy and will drop everything and everyone for a man in a heartbeat.
Big is a simple guy with simple needs. Carrie is the one who overcomplicate things and keeps pushing men away because of her own insecurities
No. Big was not simple at all. He had someone right in front of him that was obsessed with him, and he ruined that relationship as well as two of his marriages. Carrie is awful, but that doesn't make Big not awful. They deserved one another for a reason.
@@Aster_Risk Yes, Big was simple. Simple to the point of being frustrating and that's why you're ranting, that's your expectations about him, not his problem.
If you think Carrie being obsessed is a plus then you don't know Big's character at all. The guy is rich, good looking, if he wanted an obsessed partner he could get one ten times better than Carrie. He just wanted a quiet life with no relationship's labels, no fuss but still not cutting Carrie's cosmopolitan lifestyle. Plus he tried with the best of his capabilities to intentionally make his life more complex and convoluted for Carrie.
In the end the guy was a mess just like Miranda's husband. Good Lord, Steve is a whole other case, the guy is a trooper...
In the second movie when she makes a point of take me out, don't just bring home takeout, thats grounds for divorce. Especially when he ws making the money all day.
@@Aster_Risk The key word here is "obsessed." How can she be equal to Big when she had him so high on a pedestal? That type of dynamic doesn't work--or it takes a lot of work. They came together at the end of the series, but in the movies we see she's still jealous of him when they are out and about and he's his charming self. She goes, "Why don't I get that version of Big at home?" But now, he's older, more patient, and perhaps too tired to fight with her. She cheats with Aiden and Big gives her a ring. This shows how he's matured. But Carrie hasn't.
Carrie would push people away because she loved seeing them fight to be back in her life. She needs everyone's world revolving around her.
I would love to hear your thoughts about how she treats her friends lol this could be a multiple part series
edit: big yes on the ajlt video
GF, I think there's enough for someone to write a complete book about what's wrong with Carrie Bradshaw, lovers and friends alike!
Do I have any idea who Carrie Bradshaw is? No. Will I still watch Lizard queen rant about her for 10+ minutes? Absolutely yes
Love that for me
Same
Oh my gosh, thank you for that explanation on introversion and extraversion. People misunderstand that so much and always mistake me for an extrovert simply because I can be loud. (Which is because people at home kept telling me I'm too quiet even though they are literally the only ones who complain...) it's actually quite annoying because they think I'm always up for doing stuff when I just want to be alone...
Sorry, that's just been weighing on me for years and years and it's nice to finally have someone say this.
Same! I have a strong voice as it is, and when I get excited/talk about stuff I’m passionate about, I can get louder, but man will I crash afterwards and need to spend 3 days alone.
Same
Same.
There is also something called an ambivert, which is someone that has traits of both introverts and extroverts. It's possible you're an ambivert. But then again, many people don't understand introverts at all. Forgot to add that I'm an introvert by nature and was always mistaken for shy and "weird". I usually only talk when I have something to say, and when I am passionate about it, I can be loud considering I have a monotonous, low voice and people often ask me to raise my voice. Then suddenly I'm "too loud".
I am a social chameleon, so I end up copying others which means it seems like I have the energy of an extrovert when I really don't.
I'm 43, the target demographic when the show originally aired. We were supposed to see these empowering portrayals, or at least more relatable characters. It felt insipid to me, but I'm also a total pain in the ass 🖤
I FEEL THIS
lmao her attempts to win men over really gets old especially when she doesn't exactly notice how weird she was. I guess I was shallow and too young at that age to really get the idea of big but I never got why Carrie was so obsessed with him because...well Big is ugly, and old. I was a teenager and never got his appeal, and frankly now that I've matured into my thenties, I don't think I missed the mark that far with him...truly why is Carrie obsessed with them an that has the physical shape of a cylindre?
😆😆😆😆😆 same then I guess
... the whole series was always about the clothes and Samantha's one liners imo
@@corneliahanimann2173 Pretty sure that Big was pretty wealthy and it is insinuated that he is largely endowed... and with Carrie being a shallow narcissist ...obsessed.
@@punkybrewstar83 ye sounds about right😂.
I was 15 at the time and what I saw was that Carrie basically slept with every perfect guy that exists in her srea, from one perfectly tanned sixpack with bookreader glasses to the next, and then all of a sudden I tuned in on an episode with Big, and I was just thinking to myself "is this her dad? Is this guy fat? He doesn't look like the type of guy Carrie would have an affair with!" And from my 15 year old understanding I thought maybe this is the guy that has a personality and not the looks and it's actually about to teach me not to be shallow. Big has the peesonality of sandpaper, he doesn't even talk much snd he doesn't provoke anything in Carrie other than what I at the time assume must have been daddy issues. Of all the guys Carrie sleeps with, Big is just so Bland.
What annoys me about the whole general discussion of introversion is how people always forget that being introverted and being socially anxious are not the same thing. Just because you're an introvert, doesn't mean social interaction gives you anxiety. That's a different thing. You can have one without the other. Same goes for being shy. You can be introverted without being shy; they're different things.
Thank you
Carrie is the narrator so it makes sense that the story is on her side, when she's telling it
Not the point of the video but THANK YOU for that bit about introverts! I've been losing my mind for YEARS over how the internet seems to think "introvert" means quiet, shy, and socially anxious (lots of memes/comics about introverts losing their shit about making phone calls etc). I'm quite an extreme introvert, to the point where I could probably go months and months without human interaction and be having the time of my life, but I'm not at all quiet or shy. I probably come off as quite extroverted a lot of the time, I can be rather loud and animated and I talk way too much - but I am exhausted from prolonged social interaction. On the flipside, extroverts can be quiet, shy and socially anxious too, and I'd imagine they suffer quite a lot if they are since they NEED social interaction but struggle with it.
People find it weird when I tell them I need to charge my batteries after social interaction, I really feel completely exhausted after socializing for less than an hour. Like I get overstimulated/overwhelmed in the brain or something and I know I’m not the only one but it’s hard to explain sometiems. I have to go and be alone for a while after talking with people.
@@KagomeYasha023 Yeah definitely! If I'm in a social situation for a longer time (like, idk, Christmas with relatives) towards the end of it I kinda start zoning out and everything becomes white noise even though in the beginning I was actively participating and talking a lot. And oh god, if I've had one social activity I need quite a while to recharge, which a lot of people don't understand. "What do you mean you can't make plans on both Friday and Saturday?" Like damn at least give me until next weekend lol
I'm the same. Lots of people think I'm an extrovert because I'm friendly and enthusiastic, and I genuinely enjoy people at that moment, but I'm also exhausted afterwards and could very happily spend the next several weeks interacting with nothing but my telly
I'm relating to this and all the comments that follow. I'll be somewhere and thinking I'm having fun, but afterwards I'm drained with most of the chit chat. Even though I have a dynamic personality, I prefer one-to-one intimate lunches with the girls; or just being alone with my husband - or totally with myself.
Well said! Thank you 🙏🏻
On the actual topic of the video: I was always kind of weirded out or just confused by Carries behaviour, even as a teenager, but I just assumed I was wrong in that, since the adults around me seemed to applaud her behaviour for some reason and only seemed to see the faults in her partners. But I often thought she was quite unfair. I would be interested in you covering more of the dynamics of the series and look at the other characters. I just never really got what was empowering about how the main characters acted. To me it just seemed like a lot of drama that could have been avoided in most cases.
Main Character Syndrome basically. We tend to see it from the MC's perspective and root for them even when they're actually vile people. It's often why I tend to prefer side characters because MC's are often Mary Sue's and not very likable.
@@leviacronym6770 That's very true. I also often like the side characters more. But that makes me wonder what exactly makes a good main character. I don't know if there was ever one that I really liked and not just found ok or somewhat tolerable. Most of the time they are just not that interesting to me. Perhaps because everything is so focused on them and their perspective. With the side characters you don't get that as much and you kind of always want to know more about them (if they are well written).
@@Nebula_Coffee I have actually enjoyed some main characters. A lot of times MC's aren't the best but sometimes you get a good one. 👌 💯 😌
I think some MC's are blank slate characters meant for the reader to fill in, so they come off blank/boring. And yes sometimes there's too much of the MC so you turn to the more mysterious, less frequent side characters.
@@leviacronym6770 Hmm, I don't get that reasoning for the blank slate characters. That has never really worked for me 🤷
Just out of interest, what are some of the works where you enjoyed the main character? Do you have any recommendations?
@@Nebula_Coffee One of the best ones I can think of is Eren Jaeger from Attack on Titan. Mulder and Scully from the X-Files are also compelling MC's. Rick Grimes, whether you love or hate him, is a good MC. Just to name a few that spring to my mind immediately.
haha this is wild. I'm watching it with my missus as you posted. can confirm she's a complete tool.
I was so confused how the plot of the movie was 'Big left her at the alter' when like...he was stuck in traffic and called. A lot. A kid took her phone and she didn't think having her phone on her on her wedding day might be important. They even met in the street with him trying to get there and her dramatically leaving. She dramatically left her wedding assuming she was ditched, _still_ didn't consider calling or if her missing phone was a factor in why she hasn't heard from him, and then bitched him out and left him. What?!
Growing up I remember hearing the women in my life being in love with this show and half of them always used to be angry at Big but then growing up it sounds like most of the female characters in the show are just massive dicks...
I'm more of an Ugly Betty man myself.
Also like, Big was right when he said she turned their wedding into a circus - she invited like 200 people without consulting him and got mad at him for "not taking it seriously" when he was trying to work - who do you think is paying for the wedding, Carrie? She couldn't be bothered to include him in any decisions. That whole thing was just a Carrie ego trip.
Holy fuck I don't believe I was barely a teenager when I saw this and I completely forgot about it. Wow.
God, my ex forced me to watch the whole series so we'd watch the movie when it came out and God I wanted to throw something at the screen when SHE PLAYED THE VICTIM!!! And even Charlotte yelled at him! And they played this as him being in the wrong??! WTF?!??!!!!
@@bluestarkiller I'm starting to think that show fucked a lot of people up....
I've never seen Sex and the City. This is FASCINATING. Knowing she writes a sex column makes so much sense for the concept of the show.
Also, do they all just call him "Big"???
You find out his name in the last episode or one of the movies. Can't remember which
I think it’s his last name so she calls him Mr Big for most of the series and then his name is revealed to be John or something like that
Yeah, they all call him Big.
@@jennalee2344 i think his last name is Preston 🧐
@@keeva2176 is it? I probably remembered incorrectly.
GO OFF!!!! carrie bradshaw is one of the most infuriating main characters of any tv show ever
As someone who was absolutely THAT toxic bitch in the early years of my marriage, it actually speaks to Big's character that he was willing to keep putting up with her shit because he loved her.
Yeah! Remember when Carrie throws the Mcdonalds at the wall of his kitchen and makes a violent mess? So not okay!
@@Dudebrointhesky If a dude did that, every woman in the audience would be screaming for her to leave his red-flagged ass, and for good reason. Same outrage should apply here!
I don't think he loved her, he was coming back for the sex.. which was apparently THAT good.
@@Dudebrointhesky And when she sleeps with that other guy because Big didn't say he loved her. THEN she covers the guy's mouth so he can't talk while Big is on the phone saying he loves her. She played everyone for her own ego gratification.
YES PLEASE do a And Just Like That take!! also, the older you get the more you realize just how messed up Carrie's moral compass, her perception of reality and her place in it was... the finale of season 2 speaks volumes to her main character syndrome (when she suddenly compares herself to a wild horse that cannot be tamed, wtf was all that about)
I'm 27 with no kids and never been married and I still would wait at least 3 or 4 months into a relationship before I felt comfortable telling my parents especially if I think I'm dating a creep who follows me and my mom to church. 😒
I was surprised Carrie didnt just turned to dust when she entered the church...
I'm 30 and I think if I was REALLY into someone I might tell my parents about them after a couple of months but I'd still wait a couple more before introducing them to one another.
Exactly! I'm 39 no kids and never married and I waited a little longer than 3 months to introduce my family to my current boyfriend
When I started rewatching satc in my 30s I realized growing up with Carrie bradshaw as anyone to look up to for anything love related messed me up worse than any abandonment issues.
I was the same age as them when it was on TV so thank goodness I didn't see something like this as a teenager as I would have been trying to behave like that. Byt the third series I stopped seeing it as a harmless pleasure but ridiculous. But I'd seen women of all ages influenced by SATC with their clothes obsession.
I know so many millennials who have been influenced by SATC with the result being they are: a) they are still running around bar hopping, b) they have no relationships i.e. husband/boyfriend and are unhappy about this, c) they don't have children but a pet, d) things are more important than people and e) they can't take responsibility for the mistakes they made because in SATC it's never Carrie's fault! Now, is this all millenials? No, but I know MANY people who are unhappy and have achieved nothing in their private lives while the clothes and expensive shoes piles up in their closets!
@@fredrika27 There are other reasons why these millennials don't have children than SATC. It's because they can't afford them and also because of over population and climate change. Being childless doesn't make them all unhappy. They are unhappy for other reasons and that's growing poverty and income inequality. So they would be even more unhappy with children as they would be in deeper poverty and constantly worrying. I doubt they have lots of clothes and shoes because they wouldn't be able to afford those either. It was Generation X and older splashing the cash on those in the 80's, late 90's and 00's.
They don't have the well paid jobs that boomers and Generation Xers had at the same age and back then rents and house prices were much cheaper so to buy or rent a home was much easier. Generation X was the target audience for Friends and SATC so these arguments about millennials don't hold true.
@@lemsip207 I do agree that millennials have fewer well paying jobs than boomers as well as high debt from college loans. However, Gen Xers also got a raw deal with student loan debt and fewer job opportunities because they were always in the shadow of Boomers. That said, we are going to have to agree to disagree about the audience for Friends and SATC. Gen Xers were born from 1965 to 80 while Millennials were from 1981 to 2001. Having taught college and high school during Friends and SATC heyday I can say that both sets of my students watched the show, especially SATC for fashion. Today, the youngest Millennial is just 21 with the oldest being 40! That's a huge age gap. Being in education I see two types of Millennials: the young parents who want to gain a degree to give their children a better future and the eternally single who has no interest in marry and taking on responsibility even if they have decent jobs. When I see them in the office, most are talking about the one night stand they had or the concert/party they went to--even during Corona! Indeed I find that the girls are more independent leaving home, starting families and purchasing a house than the boys who are staying at home way past the age of 26! Not only that, many millennials talk about the "men on their own" in which the dating pool of men has shrunk to undesirables or men who allegedly don't want to pay their fair share, get a job to feed their kids, nor look after their kids. Returning to TV, I do think television--not just SATC and Friends--has had a huge impact on supporting the single life. For example, in the sci-fi-fantasy children and families are almost invisible with Lost in Space and Star Trek being two of the rare shows that have family life. I think the reason why Full House enjoyed such a large following is because they were basically the only game in town celebrating the family while most other comedies showed singles. Just my opinion.
@@fredrika27 Early Millennials might have watched Friends and SATC but at the time it was aimed at a young adult rather than teenage audience. They were also aimed at people the same age as the main characters who were born in the late 60's. In the UK students had grants until the 90's but at the same time there were fewer places in higher education so it's swings and roundabouts. Fewer people went to university in the 60's, 70's and 80's.
As a child and teen I watched all the sit coms because there weren't the children's TV channels and programmes for teenagers such as Saved by the Bell other than the awful Grange Hill. But there was Happy Days. Parents wanted to watch sit coms so we saw them as well. It might be that late boomer mothers enjoyed SATC so their teenage children did. Samantha was the token boomer in it but that wasn't revealed until a later series.
I’m needing this video about the romanticization of introverts! It seems to be on the same path of the “I’m not like other girls” phenomenon.
I met Aiden IRL. Served him lunch a few years ago where I worked. He was very nice and had a good sense of humor.
the introvert and extrovert part you talked about is so on point oh my
In And Just Like That, When Natasha was like “I don’t understand why he married me when he was always in love with you”.
What. Big never loved Carrie, she just wore him down 😂
Just started rewatching two weeks ago. I was in my late 20s when SATC started. Omg Carrie was so needy, whiny, clingy, self absorbed and annoying. Me, me, me, me. Total antithesis of a confident, independent woman of the 90s. I spent hours trying to recall if we were like that as young women in those days and I finally came to the conclusion we were NOT! That church scene was the cringiest ever, and would probably count as a stalker/obsessive red flag nowadays! Yes, in those days getting married was still something most women were focused on, thank God young women today have a broader outlook. I can't imagine my daughter being so obsessed with relationships in this day and age, and I hope she focuses on her own development more 🙈.
I feel like it wasn't even intentional, but sometimes when I'm watching a scene and there aren't talking about Carrie, you can just see her like fidgeting waiting for an opening to throw out like a shitty dismissive comment or an excuse to change the subject back to her.
Maybe I missed it when it was said, but I remember an episode where she made a scene because he always took her to the same restaurant (in my head it was Thai but it could be from another Asian country) and she and her friends saw it as a sign that he wanted to hide their relationship. In the end he just really liked the place.
That's...really stupid logic.
Whenever Carrie was bored she would demand that her friends talk about problems she made up.
Carrie is a childish character who has trouble expressing her needs or feelings and uses her column as a means of figuring out what she wants, what is fair, etc. She is therefore very relatable if you're on the same level of maturity.
I could relate to a lot when I was younger, tho I liked her friends better. It can be exasperating to watch if you're more mature, but I think plot holes and character inconsistencies aside it's one of the best shows ever made, including the childish main character.
I agree with you, I watched it first from my late teens, then mid twenties and then early thirties. I loved Carrie during the first watch, she was cool and fun and had a dreamy life. But as I mutured I just couldn't see her the same anymore, she is emotionally very immature.
I think there is also the issue of it now being much more common to have flawed main characters who are more self-reflective or that the show ensures you know that they're behaving poorly. I think about the series Girls as an example. There wasn't much of this in the late 90s. So basically you just have Carrie behaving badly and it is just shown without any criticism of that.
I’m in my early 20s and watched Sex and the City as a kid. Big is actually pretty relatable and I really like his character. Carrie is just such a self sabotaging pos
but he cheated on his partners too like... he's self-sabotaging also
Big is a huge jerk in his own right. You can like and relate to him all you want, but he isn't any better than Carrier fromw hat we do see of him.
@@Aster_Risk Yes!!!!!
You should do exactly 5 more videos on this subject
I'm re-watching Sex and The City as this popped up so what epic timing. Carrie and Big are both trash and deserve each other 🤷♀️ Yeah he was pretty openly unavailable but then when he did get married he cheated on his wife with Carrie.
Still wishing for the spin off "Samantha in the city" Any city lol she was the best!
I watched all of sex and the city when i was 13 and Aiden was the best love interest- Carrie did not deserve him
YEEESSS! I've been thinking this forever and the fact that YOU, one of my favorite commentators are doing it is absolutely awesome. Big basically never lies about who he is or what he wants and she ALWAYS assumes things and disappoints herself. It is so irritating.
You forgot the wedding!
Big: I want a small wedding is that fine?
Carrie: Sure!
C: *throws a circus of a wedding*
B: *second guesses the whole thing*
C: *surprised Pikachu face*
Charlotte: HE'S AN UNREASONABLE MONSTER!!!!!!!
Me: is this the upside down world? 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
He still is. He could've told her to stop planning. They both could've not used Miranda, who was vulnerable, as a scapegoat for their shitshow of a relationship. They didn't break up for the millionth time, because she had a moment and said marriage sucks. They are way too old to use that as an excuse. They did it because they are selfish people, each in their own way. I also love how everyone went on Carrie's honeymoon to comfort her, and when Miranda's mother in law had dementia and ran away, no one was there to help. Miranda deserved a lot better and is so much more relateable. Life and marriage don't condist only of buying expensive shoes.
I never watched any of the movies
@@verakukic243 Looking back I realised I preferred Miranda out of the four. She was more grounded. At the time I thought she looked to mannish with her short hair and suits. Her character developed the most with each series.
@@eve3363 I only saw the first one.
@@verakukic243 I agree. Miranda telling him he was crazy for getting married and it actually getting to his head basically means that he was already having a lot of doubts about the wedding. It's not fair to blame Miranda for making a comment when she was upset. She even wanted to tell Carrie but Charlotte told her to wait. Carrie would have tore into her then, unfortunately, so I get it. I don't buy that Miranda's comment was the thing that ruined everything. Maybe it was the last straw that broke the camels back, but Big already had loads of straw on his back. And yeah, Miranda often gets overlooked because she thinks differently and isn't a huge drama queen like Carrie.
Ahhh thank you for this! It's irritating how glamorized this show is.
Im 20 and watched sex and the city about a year ago to see what the hype was about, and I didnt really like the main characters. They seemed judgemental and kind of stupid... Times are moving forward
This is the type of content I live for
The worst was when she got back together with Aidan and Big still calls and even goes to his cottage.. fights... gets drunk. Incredible. Also when she sent Aidan to help miranda with her bad neck was just a failed friendship move.
Samantha is the true hero of SaTC
I really liked your explanation of introverts and extroverts!
Aidan telling Carrie, “There’s no one I could love more” is one of the script’s most devastating lines, in retrospect. The manipulative monkey that is Carrie Bradshaw robbed the man of dignity. Here’s hoping that Kathy (Aidan’s wife) is the better half and that she either didn’t find out or forgave Aidan for smooching Carrie in Abu Dhabi
That scene made me so upset
thank you for explaining what an extravert vs introvert actually is bc the romanticization drives me up the wall loollll
I need a whole video on Samantha.
This series is beating a dead horse. Actually the 2nd movie was...This is just audience abuse.
Alizee, Thank you! Introversion-Extroversion has nothing to do with shyness or loudness. I listen to the Huberman podcast too!
SATC2…it’s Bigs and her anniversary. Big buys her a TV and she’s like ,,A piece of jewelry would’ve been nice“……
Please do a sequel with ‘Just Like That’! I haven’t watched it yet because I’m a Samantha fan and can’t deal with her not being there. I need some justification for not touching the reboot with a ten foot pole
I've always felt this way about the Carrie character. I could never be friends with anyone so self-centered that has to control every conversation.
With the introvert thing, it might still have some correlation with being quieter or at least perceived to be quiet. Just because we need more time on our own and therefor often spent more time doing activities that can be done alone (like reading, drawing...) and don't involve social interaction.
Also, in my case, I think I'm often perceived as quiet just because when I'm around people it is draining for me, no matter how much I might enjoy the company. So I have to retreat from time to time to recharge. Especially when I'm with a group of people and not just one person. I kind of like that now because I just feel way better and don't exhaust myself trying to force myself to interact more with people to appear 'normal' or to avoid confusing people. So the majority of the time I am actually quiet, listen more or even go and sit in a corner alone for a while. I can be loud though at times but I just can't do that for long because I don't have the energy to interact with people in general over a prolonged time.
Remember when Jack Berger broke up with Carrie on a Post-it? Here’s what he said: “I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me.” IMO he was too polite, being the sensitive guy that he was - the kind of guy that Carrie likes to play with and dress up like a Ken to her Barbie before she tosses him into her toy box and forgets all about him … because he’s just a toy that she got bored with.
Here’s what he should have written, and he wouldn’t even need a whole Post-it: “GTFOOH. Sorry, not sorry.”
You are spot-on about shallow self-centered Carrie, and also about Samantha being the true central character. Also IMO Samantha (Kim Cattrall) should have her own show, about a woman in her 60s enjoying her solo life and still having great, fun, uncomplicated, honest sex … or not. Whatever Samantha wants to do. It could be called Samantha Jones in London Town. Or whatever.
Agreed. I love that you are unpacking this show. It is a terrible presentation of relationships.
Is this what toxic femininity looks like? It sounds like it has very similar motivations to toxic masculinity but is executed in slightly different ways.
I wasn’t ever able to find Carrie interesting enough to get into the show. I saw the clip once of her realizing she’d spent $40,000 on shoes and all I could think was, “Do you know how many books that would buy?!”
Yeah, for that money should could have paid to be on the NY Times bestsellers list with her first book!
That's how I felt with Veronica from the Archie comics sometimes....
LMAO
I watch SATC regularly and it's always baffled me that people don't see that she's the worst. When I started watching it years ago I pretty much watched it for every character except Carrie. She always bugged me with her self-absorbed attitude.
I was thinking if you could invite Tom Harlock to your podcast, I think you would have so fun conversations 😁
Omg, that would be so cool. I think they'd have an interesting dynamic.
Sex and the City was really really popular when I was young, and I only ever watched it when my mom had it on (which was A LOT) and I remember thinking then when she started dating Aleksandr, she got what was coming to her for how she was with Big. Maybe I was wrong? Idk
“He already did think he met the one” 💀💀💀🤣🤣
Yep! I’ve always loved Miranda and Samantha. Charlotte is too judgemental as a friend and Carrie is very annoying.
Charlotte was very old fashioned and only wanted to snag a doctor, lawyer or hedge fund analyst.
Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother was fine when watching the show weekly. He's absolutely insufferable in the era of streaming when you are seeing him back to back.
I would LOVE to see you do a video about "And Just Like That." SATC is a show I always go back to. It's a guilty pleasure comfort for me. As much as I cringe at the characters it's somehow fun to yell at the screen while they're making mistakes and see each one exhibit their archetype.
Add on: A rebrand for the show's title could be "Toxicity And The City" 🙃
I also hate the way they ended with Carrie & Big having the fairytale ending. He cheated on BOTH of his previous wives, he obviously didn’t value vows & someone like that isn’t going to just change. “Once a cheater always a cheater” is a saying for a reason. Someone like that actually changing would be the exception NOT the rule.
it hit me so hard when I was watching some old episodes again recently and I realized for the first time that Big was actually the good person very often - he never promised Carrie anything, he never comitted and left, he was just taking it slow bc that's probably how he felt about their relationship.. and she was making up all these scenarios in her head, blaming him for being this or that without actually talking to him first about her concerns (she was never talking and then she was just exploding and he was clueless wtf is going on). I loved this show so much for years and now the characters seem so silly for me, so childish
Just so you all know: Candiace Bushnell, the woman who wrote the original Sex and the City columns and who inspired the character of Carry Bradshaw, stated that it's unrealistic for Big and Carrie to get married. She said this years before And Just Like That.
I marathoned the series once with my mom, and we sometimes do end up rewatching it when I visit. The more time goes on, the more problems I start to find with the characters’ choices and attitudes, but from the beginning I’ve always been most pissed off about Carrie and Big cheating with each other. More specifically, the fact that (to my memory) Big was the one trying to initiate it. Pushing for Carrie even though he was engaged and Carrie was already seeing someone else. Pushing for it even when Carrie said no, over and over again. It concerns me that Mom just doesn’t see the issue in that, or at least no problem further than them cheating with each other.
I’m also still frustrated that they kept pushing Big as the “one true love” for Carrie. We see them fighting with each other, several times they are miserable being with each other, several times they break up because they can’t reach a healthy compromise with the other’s differences, not to mention the whole thing with Big trying so hard to get with Carrie behind his fiancée’s back-why do they still want to be together so bad when they clearly don’t work out as a couple?
ETA: Holy shit I also just remembered the bit about her sending Aidan to help Miranda to the hospital when Miranda threw out her neck. Like…not only did you send your boyfriend, who had to walk in on your friend who just got out of the shower and is naked and very vulnerable because she *cannot move without being in great pain*-then you visit her later when she’s in a neck brace, and immediately go off about whatever drama you have with your boyfriend?? Instead of BEING WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FRIEND WHO IS IN A NECK BRACE. I do think Miranda can be a bit too much of a hard ass sometimes, but I totally agree with her going off on Carrie in this case.
I'm honestly so introvert that I get max dopamine from ZERO people ;)
Me too. I mostly get dopamine from birbs
I used to have this friend who IDOLIZED (at least, in my opinion) Sex and the City and they tried to hard to fit our fluctuating friend group into this friendship dynamic. Months after I've realized that I'm almost always the one initiating interactions and that they've fucked me up emotionally and mentally almost beyond repair, I'm almost certain that this former (?) friend of mine tried to be Carrie Bradshaw...(as in, turning every fucking conversation to be about themselves, inflating their issues to seem a lot graver than they are, being unable to healthily communicate with their partner, even after relentless advice from multiple friends)
I know nothing about Sex and the City but Alizee uploads a video and I watch it.
Yessss please do the other video. I haven’t watched just like that yet but I love hearing your opinions 🖤
Big always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was Carrie that threw tantrums. We never saw him throw food at the wall. Big was handsome, charismatic, and wealthy. Carrie was just not in that league. She could look cute, but she was no beauty. It was hard to understand why he put up with her tantrums. Maybe he found her eccentricities amusing. I think Carrie was only interesting because of Big and with him gone, she is boring. The remake series doesn't offer anything for the majority of women. There are no masculine men. The clothes are ugly and the women aren't much to look at either. The subject matter is crass and the character interactions are too bizarre.
Agree 100 percent. The two strongest characters Big and Samantha are no longer on the show. Without them, I like the show, but I don't love it.
I must confess, I've never seen Sex and the City
i have a friend who i was pretty sure was introverted but then i realized she is just very kind of shy and a mild soft extrovert. and a person who coincidentally loves to read. she is hanging out with someone all the time. she just needs to be with someone all the time to fuel herself and can't wait til next time she sees someone she knows. while i can be pretty loud and out there and might be mistaken for an extrovert. but going once a week of seeing people or less is enough for me. sometimes once every two weeks even. it just takes alot of mental energy to hang with people even though i enjoy it. i need some mental space until next time lol
Thank you for bringing up the introvert/extrovert conversation. I’m an introvert but I’m not shy. I just get drained by people 😂 hahah
Ooh interesting, thanks. I suppose it was different in the States and they already had a longstanding 'dating around' culture then, but in the UK in the 90s I think (unless it was explicitly said otherwise and I knew they had other partners, or obviously a 'hook up' thing) if we were 'going out' I would've assumed they were faithful from the start. But I know that's hypothetical as they're in the States anyway. Yes I'd be interested in a thorough review of AJLT. I've seen things like the podcast and the Miranda being racist thing, and it just sounds like a dire box ticking exercise of political correctness by numbers, with every possible 'right on' modern thing shoehorned in. It's not even true to character as I don't think Miranda ever seemed like she would be racist/clumsy like that.
I always think of Carrie/Big as a terrible relationship. Let's put blame aside for a minute. Who is right or the asshole doesn't matter all that much. They want completely different things. They want the other person to be someone else. Carrie gets upset when her expectations aren't met and Big does too. Okay well at what point do you realise that these bumps on the road are going to be permanent? Time to find someone that respects you and gives you what you want.
Not to mention she was so uptight but was extremely trashy. I got so mad when she didnt appreciate Alexander's date because she was "American" and ended up at McDonald
I thought this was going to be about how she just let him die in front of her lol
Honestly, as I mentioned in another comment, I refuse to give the new show a chance but I got spoiled about him dying and my first thought was "really? All those episodes about those two, plus the movies, only to have him die in the sequel??" But then again r*pe allegations started to come out against the actor and I thought that maybe he doesn't need to be in the spotlight at all. Prison sounds better.
There was something similar with a show from my country. There wasn't a new series but a book, I looked through in the store and it was disappointing the guy just died out of nowhere and the book was about the heroine getting her life together after this. I'd buy the book for nostalgia sake (even if the show had similar problems to Sex in the City) but nope, that's not what I'd like out of this.
I enjoy SATC, it's entertaining, but it's really showing you what NOT to do in a relationship.
THANK YOU!!!! I have always said Carrie was the problem. Her therapist even told her one episode, but she didn't listen, of course. How she treated Aiden was horrible. Everything she wanted in a guy was Aiden and she played him badly.
Yeah, I related to her when I was younger but I was immature as hell and she was in her 30s 😭😅 great video
Hmm, I wouldn’t say Big meeting Carrie at 3 AM to stand still in the middle of the park makes him emotionally available. That’s him giving his time and attention, so it does count, but far from emotional availability.
Then again, both of them are horrible communicators and both almost equally added to the drama. Her with relentless assumptions about what he wants, and him with lack of openness about where he is emotionally. But he showed avoidant attachment, and Carrie showed anxious attachment, which is common in relationships. The push-pull dynamic + lack of self-awareness = hell.
I remember watching the originals on HBO, and as a journalism major at the time, I was initially so drawn to Carrie’s style & having her own place, as well as her closeness with her friends.
But then when I watched from the start the second time, I started to feel uneasy about her (I was in my early 20s & still new to dating myself.) I tried to look at it from Big’s POV and was like “wait…he didn’t say that..they never discussed that…why is she perpetually acting around him…” it made me think dating was going to be nothing but pain. and now, like 10 years on, we all see she’s kinda trash.
It takes 2 to tango. As she said in that one ep about S&M, she was “addicted to the exquisite pain” of loving him. Those are the hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, etc) that got released as they kept having sex, showing physical affection, etc. Case in point: bang with caution. Chemical dependency is real.
What a wonderful comment! You are so right about Carrie and about Big. I never understood why Carrie was his One, or he hers. What do they have in common besides sex and living in New York City? There’s your title: Sex and the City. Are the writers telling us that that’s all there is?
Furthermore, in the horrible And Just Like That sequel, the writers have no idea what makes a marriage good or bad: to them, Miranda is in a bad marriage because she’s bored, Carrie was in a good marriage because she “went out” and lived large with a guy she literally called “Big”! Whatever happened to the importance of companionship? Is companionship boring?
@@Hollis_has_questions thanks, and I agree with your points, too! I guess the Sex part wasn’t even meant to point to relationships but maybe just the physical act and all the different versions of it?
We did see quite the array in the show, especially with Carrie dating a lot (probably a big reason why her getting with Big needed to be delayed, for her column!), but mostly thanks to the other 3 women’s dating lives, too. Especially Samantha, who I really miss!
We saw Charlotte’s first “dream marriage” being initially destroyed by the lack of it, and that was a much better presentation of how lack of sex can ravage a marriage, especially for those whose love language includes physical touch (which is still not everyone!).
I agree that the current setup with Miranda & Steve was under-developed and poorly presented. How did they not even go to counseling about it, see a sex therapist, etc? Too few episodes, I guess. 🤷🏻♀️ and then to have Steve say he’s gonna keep his ring & commitment to her forever? Why didn’t they at least discuss an open marriage?
I concur that love changes as time goes on. I am only in my mid 30s and not married, so as of now, I don’t know if I’d be happy without some level of physical affection/desire for my partner & visa versa. But I know menopause has effects on our bodies, libido goes down for men as testosterone drops, which begins as early as their 30s, too.
Perhaps they left the sex out of the name this time for that reason? Yet they can’t seem to stop bringing it up because they know audiences expect it.
I agree, very little about the Carrie-Big dynamic is believable or worthy of being called relationship goals, because while they do seem to kinda get along, I never felt more than sexual attraction between them, either!
Kinda feels like Carrie is all about the chase, and finally “catching” him was all that mattered. She wanted his money & influence/affluence. It’s as superficial as it gets 😑 and that may have been interesting during that era, but I feel it is no longer seen as so impressive, society is shifting a lot.
I prefer to look at couples like Charlotte & Harry as an example, even if she is kinda weirdly blowing up at him lately. I think they’ve shown more endurance & depth as a couple. I also liked Naya and her man (forget his name) but I feel they’re better off splitting up if he’s unable to let go of wanting a child. They could adopt, but if he’s not going to let it go, he will grow resentful of Naya, given she’s happy as they are. Compatibility trumps chemistry in the long run!
@@Liolia22 I think I love you! Not many people respond to my wordy comments with wordy comments, especially comments as insightful as yours. It’s usually either a thumbs-up or a troll, right? I have a Zoom event coming up, so I’ll try to get back to this reply afterwards. Oh, and Nya and Andre darn well should get a divorce. But the writers would prefer to have them argue over and over about the same trigger issue: Andre wants to reproduce, but Nya doesn’t. I’m with her - I’ve never wanted children, so I never had ‘em. At age 67, I couldn’t be happier about that decision.
@@Hollis_has_questions I feel like I have a lot to learn from you, and I love you back as a fellow human who thinks deeply about things!! So happy to find like-minded, chatty, detailed people like you, in, of all places, a YT comments section, typically the place where humanity goes to die! 😆 please take your time with any reply!! 🤗
@@Liolia22 I’d like to talk about why Miranda hooked up with Steve, Charlotte with Trey, Carrie with John, and Samantha:
We liked Miranda because she chose a regular guy, a barkeep and handyman, an easygoing dude who loved her for inner, not just outer, qualities. Back in the ‘90s, Miranda likewise appreciated those qualities in him and saw that Steve was a real keeper, the kind of person she’d be foolish to discard just because he belonged to a less prestigious class of New Yorkers. And we viewers appreciated Miranda for her clarity of judgment.
Charlotte and Trey were a couple for the most superficial of reasons: Trey wanted eye-and-arm candy, Charlotte wanted the prestige of an upper-class “old family” to marry into, with all the affluence that came with it. Once she got what she thought she wanted, though, it was a case of “Be careful what you wish for.” The lack of any physical relationship was something Charlotte hadn’t expected - or am I forgetting something? (DISCLAIMER: I’ve only seen SaTC 2x, which was enough for me. So I could be forgetting or misremembering things. If so, please don’t hesitate to correct me.) Then, when Charlotte surprised herself into Harry’s bed, she was shocked that she had just had the best, most exciting and fulfilling sex of her life … with a hairy little Jewish homunculus! It was an inner struggle for her to come to terms with that. Remember when she wanted him to shave his furry back at Samantha’s pool party? Among myriad other demands. It was very difficult for shallow Charlotte to throw out her childishly preconceived notions and become a better, more thoughtful person capable of a mature love, a person able to expand her worldview enough to embrace everything about Harry, not just the great sex. After Samantha, Charlotte became a more honest and generous emotional human being. I rate Charlotte and Miranda - the Charlotte and Miranda of the original series - as having evolved fairly well.
Carrie, otoh, was then and still is a shallow human being, inside and out. There are what many (not I) consider great clothes and shoes and stuff like that, but don’t try to look any farther than that because inside there’s a soul capable only of self-centered preoccupation. Kinda like the writers of this disaster. In the AJLT episodes when she texts the absent yet ever-present Samantha, it’s always only I, I, I. She never once asks Samantha how things are going for her, who she’s banging, what’s new, etc. Whenever there’s a pity party, she plays the “My husband is dead” card, the card she thinks trumps all others. [ASIDE: My husband, coincidentally another John, also died of a massive heart attack, sitting next to me, behind the wheel of our 3/4-ton Dodge pick-up. It was no fancy Peloton ride and I wasn’t wearing Manolo Blahblahblahs, but I had the sense to scream for help, to call 9-1-1, and to wait on the side of the road watching a wonderful stranger giving John CPR, waiting for the ambulance that came too late. I’ll spare you the deets, but it ended up being a 4-day ordeal … and only then, just like that, John died. I never used it as a way to get attention, like Carrie does. I’m not about “winning.” My John died in April 2002, so this will be the 20th anniversary. Sure, the first decade after was hard. But time can heal. Like Steve, I keep my wedding ring on, it’s pretty much my only jewelry since I’m not much for accessories. I haven’t dated and I’m not interested. I’m having an amazing life all by myself. But thoughts of John and great memories of our 25 years are always with me. Always. I could say so much more, but I’ve already said way too much, so let’s get back to tearing Carrie a new one lol.] None of the four read books except for Carrie, who only reads HER books. Her life is mere pretense; her closet has more depth than she has. I’m not trying to be clever or cutesy - I really mean it about her closet. Many of us have wondered why people are drawn to Carrie. We know what happens to moths drawn to a flame. She’s a taker, not a giver. If she were an X-Man, she’d be Rogue. She rogued Aidan into submission. Berger alone had the sense to break loose, and I approve of his Post-it, dripping with irony, to break up with a writer. Petrovsky alone could take her or leave her. I think he regarded her as a high-strung expensive breed of poodle that was in his life merely to amuse him for a while. That’s who and what Carrie was, is, and, knowing these writers, ever will be. She was never about Ever Thine, she’s always been Ever I.
Now, let’s talk about Samantha Jones, easily the most honest, compassionate, mature, open and giving of the four. Sam has an ongoing relationship with herself. She declares as much when she breaks up with Smith. But they remain good friends and occasional fuck buddies. She doesn’t lie, she only rarely schemes - remember her jealousy of Richard”s other women? That was the aberration that proved the rule. Samantha could have sprung, fully formed, from Athena’s head, she alone of the four knows herself as Socrates intended. Her lovers love that about her. She doesn’t dick around, she does dick. Without the shame ever-present in guilty minds. Now that I think of it, I believe that I watched SaTC primarily for Ms. Jones. Her clothes looked so fabulous on her that you didn’t notice the shoes. Her gaze is direct, her demeanor genuine and guileless. Carrie could have learned a lot from Samantha, even made her the subject of one of her books … but that would require introspection on Carrie’s part, she would have to actually see Samantha for who she is. And I don’t think Carrie is willing to work that hard.
Big AND Carrie we’re BOTH emotionally unavailable. Big was a jerk who wanted to fool around.
You are absolutely right. If Carrie wanted Big to be exclusive to her. She should have sat him down and had this conversation with him. Communicate like real adults.
I’m 35 a just started watching SATC for the first time ever. I’m SO glad I didn’t watch this show during my transformative romantic years. It’s the epitome of the AWFUL “advice” women have been fed over the last few decades.
Also when Big was going to Paris for work, he didn't even INVITE her, she invited herself!! But he was the asshole right?? She was always PUSHING herself into his life instead of just letting things happen. Years later after she finally lands the man of her "Dreams," she can't even dial 911 to save his life! NOW... this entitles her to play the "my husbands dead" card! "My husbands dead, I win!" My mouth dropped when she said that!! Worst , most self centered character in SATC and continuing right along into AJLT!! So glad you made this video because the list of what a piece of crap she was is sooooo long, if you think you missed anything, I'll be glad to send you mine!!
Carrie is the worst.
I haven't watched the reboot because I don't want to if Samantha isn't in it.
After rewatching the series in my mid thirties:
my cold, spinster, loves to be alone, child free, heart was definitely melted by Charlotte's storyline and that was not something I was not expecting at all.
Omg I couldn't agree with you more! I had been watching the series for years, then when I saw both movies I realized she was a vulnerable narcissist who enjoyed creating drama without ever taking responsibility for her actions and blamed others. She was emotionally needy, entitled, and lacked true empathy while draining everyone around her, hogging everyone's attention with her nonsense. In a word...TOXIC!!!!
Yes pls talk more about this, I’ve never seen SATC but this vid was super fun