I Analyzed Every First Interaction Between Carrie and Mr. Big - Here's What I Found
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- Опубліковано 24 кві 2024
- Join me as we dive deep into the iconic relationship between Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big from the beloved series "Sex and the City." In this video, I meticulously analyze every first interaction between the duo, uncovering patterns, hidden meanings, and possibly the secret to their tumultuous relationship dynamics. What really goes on between Carrie and Big during their first moments together? Let's unravel the narrative threads and discover the truth behind their chemistry and conflicts.
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Welcome to Insights By V, your go-to place for insightful videos on relationships and self-development! Drawing from personal experiences, thorough research, and general insights from others, I tackle complex topics in a fun, lighthearted, yet profound way. My aim is to help you foster better connections with yourself and those around you. Whether you're exploring love, seeking personal growth, or simply curious about human connections, there's something here to inspire and entertain.
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By popular demand, the analysis continues😁 ua-cam.com/video/eBxfAnA3AEQ/v-deo.html
Thank you for all your comments and support, it really makes me happy that you find these analyses entertaining yet useful!🥰
Though I haven't managed to reply to all comments, I see them all!✨️
Mr. Big never thought Carrie was good enough for him and he treated her as such from the start. Carrie got her “unworthiness/not good enough” wound poked over and over and she got obsessed with trying to change his mind. She thought that him choosing her meant she was good enough or worthy. 😢 It hits close to home.
Wow! Very good description
I think this hits the nail on the head. Carrie says in a ep that she never really knew her dad, bc he left when she was a baby. The not-good-enough feeling likely stems from dad's abandonment and was triggered by Big's constant reminders that she is just an option for him, which he spends the majority of the series NOT choosing. Many children who were left by a parent wonder, "Why wasn't I enough for _insert parent_ to stay?" I think she is trying to fix what happened with her father with her relationship (or lack thereof) with Big. But she only re-traumatizes herself.
I don't even understand why Carrie fell for him. It was so hard to watch and toxic.
Meanwhile, Big is not good enough for the women whom he finds socially acceptable; that’s the reason he cheated on his first wife with her best friend and his second one with Carrie-a vicious cycle.
@@jankaaishakovacs7714 Preach!! All in a sad effort to bring them onto his level. They only do what Carrie couldn't - LEAVE!!
Big leaving Carrie at the alter was unforgivable and should’ve been the end of their relationship forever.
100% agreed, can't believe she did that
I swear i can't believe the writers make them elope to get married. WHY??? Everyone knew they relationship was not it !!!!!
And they missed a golden opportunity to show the dangers of bridezillas
This wtf? Why did he choose to humiliate her instead of communicating his doubts? But he should've been dumped right from the start because he never took her seriously. Yet married Natacha right away.
It’s supposed to be both of them are messes. Big had issues and Carrie had issues and together it was like a match and gasoline. They need each other but the fire burns.
What you're missing is that they have been seeing each other for a YEAR when she met his Mom and realized he never mentioned Carrie's name once. Wtf, that is the reddest red flag!
OMG TY, I have always been a little fuzzy on how much time they have spent together btw his multiple transgressions lol
The Crusty Fox makes videos on SATC and he said that Carrie+Big had supposedlu lasted a year in the first season and it makes absolutely no sense in the pacing of the show. He says "If the writers don't care, why should we?". Hard agree: if the writers tell me something, I just have to accept it. Because they make so many stupid decisions, my brain will shrivel if I try to be smart about them. So yeah, they "have" been together for a year (this is told to us), but it is a speedrun.
He’s a 40 year old man. He didn’t need to tell Mommy who he’s sleeping with.
@@lisamorrison214 Well, that's kind of the point. If she was more than just "someone he was sleeping with," and someone he was in an actual relationship with, he probably would have mentioned it to his family.
Carrie really met her first narcissist and interpreted it as “hahaha 40 year olds are so complicated 🙃” WHAT
omg yes. This is so spot on
He seems more like an avoidant, he didn’t mentally abuse her. He didn’t love bomb her really. She definitely anxious. Or the extreme of this is borderline and Narcissist. Maybe ,, idk
Please. You guys have to stop calling every single man a narcissist. You are devaluing the term and making it harder for us mental health professionals.
Lmao 🤣🤣 Thank you for this comment.
I think they both had narcissistic tendencies.
Mr. Big has ALWAYS given me “I’m just not that into you” energy for Carrie and idk how she’s so blind to it
It's so funny to me that the man that coined the "he's just not that into you" on the show ended up writing the book "he's just not that into you" to teach women signs that a man is just not that into them and that they should move on. When that sentence applied to Carrie and Big all along.
She is not blind, she just doesn`t care.
I think Carrie was a constant work in progress. And yes, we’ve all been there, but she never matured out of her infatuation with Big. And she never confronted Big with a real conversation because she already knew that there was nothing there. She just didn’t want to face it. All he was gonna do is give her one of his devilish smiles and say something charming and ambiguous while continuing his hurtful behavior. To me she was always anxious and performing for Big. When someone like Aidan came into the picture, she could be herself sassy self. But she could never get past her obsession for Big.
I absolutely love your comment. Carrie was so obsessed with Big that she refused to face reality. To the point that she always found a way to twist his blatant harmful behavior towards her into something "cute" or reasonable, which is the reason why she always went back to him. It is a shame that the writers of the show never made Carrie mature and realize he was never going to give her what she wanted, and that he never really loved her. Yes, Big never explicitly told Carrie "look, I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now" but he showed her in every single way possible. So, the writers making Carrie this stupid and obsessed woman incapable of cutting off a toxic man from her life, who spent 10 years in this "struggle love" dynamic, is really insulting, unrealistic, disappointing and it just sends the wrong message.
I used to identify w Carrie when i first watched this series but when rewatching recently I see her as a total mess complete with unrealistic expectations, childish behavior, and self sabotage. It sometimes hurts to watch her actions.
That’s why she’s a great character
@possiblymaybe6711 yes, I love how imperfect she is. She actually annoys me, but I love analyzing her actions through out the series and how much one can learn by watching her. We've all made mistakes and hopefully learnt from them.
She just walked by the wedding of natascha and bigg.
In 2003 i was thinking what a coincedenge on 2024 im thinking. No Carrie you dont girl.
I love this! “He is a douche, but you are also a douche for not listening to what he’s saying” 😂 So true. Watching it now as a 27 year old, I cannot believe Carrie is in her 30s acting this way. Still love her though lol.
Yes! Getting 'middle school first crush' vibes from the way she behaves.
Big just sees that she's so hungry for validation that she'll take his intentionally vague statements and interpret them as she pleases. So he's like: okay, I can enjoy dating her without any commitment implications and when she'll try to talk about it, I'll just give her some cryptic statement. He knows she's so terrified of losing the validation that she won't even rock the boat.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with just dating for the fun of it. But here they're clearly in 2 very different places. She's yearning for more closeness and he intentionally keeps her at a distance. Imagine being a 30-something woman so insecure that she needs to call the guy in the middle of the night.
Is she 30 starting….i really thought she was in her late 20’s lol I guess I never kept it in mind their ages.
Because triggers no matter the age get to you. She did try to leave him and he confused the crap out of her like most avoidants do. He also would show up to her house unannounced when she wouldn’t pick up his calls. Him the 40 something year old . Both needed help Threapy. Fact is IF Big would have committed from the start they wouldn’t be a match not at that pint in her life. They were the perfect match Avoidant & Anxious attachments. Close to Borderline and Narcissists
@@Femininelovevibesthis. Hence why she didn't work with Aidan and even cheated on him with Big. Aidan was too available for her, so it didn't spike her anxiety which many call "butterflies". I know Aidan wasn't perfect and I didn't like how he suddenly wanted to pressure her to marry but also, it was him being so committed to her that threw her off. While Big felt exciting because she was always on chasing validation modus with him.
@@CosmicBeings Emotionally I don't think she ever got past 18 or so.
If you’re insecure, you can’t keep standards, struggle with boundaries and will accept attention from anyone especially if they’re of high status
“People say that he was always upfront and never lead her on-THE FUCK”
Girl I love your energy 😂
I studied psychology and have watched SATC like a million times and I still very much enjoyed your analysis and perspective!! I felt like you were describing my life when you said that she didnt really like Big as a person (because she didnt even really know him yet), she was in love with getting that validation. You are the woman I needed to listen to when I was like 10 because my life wouldve been so much better lol. Also english is my second language and i mess up the pronouns all the time too. Hearing you do it made me feel better about me making that mistake. Love the way you talk!
Same. I wasted my 20s looking for validation. I wish I had gotten this before all that mess.
I always thought that Carrie had a fear of settling down because she enjoyed her lifestyle as a single writer in NYC. Possibly she was afraid that if she settled down and stopped dating she would lose her column and her sense of identity
That’s a really good analysis I agree with you
Hm, very interesting.. I wonder if that shows more later on in the seasons. I also wonder if the remark from Mr Big at the beginning (her not experiencing real love) has something to do with her trying to "push" love when she's not ready.
Yea but clearly she would have given all that up for a life with Big
I saw another vid that stated that the reason she chased Big so much was because even in a relationship with him, she never was in a commited one. It always felt like she was single, as oposed of being in a commited relationship where you share goals, schedules, expectations, etc. They actually didn't know each other at seasons 1 and 2. This fear of commitment is more noticeable with Aiden, tho one could argue that he wasn't the guy for her.
@@danielapardo9776he wasn’t carry was too cool for Aiadan.
Big was never fully in love with Carrie. He liked her enough and loved the fact that she was always there for him whenever he called her up on the phone.
Throughout the series, he made it pretty clear, to the audience, that he “likes” her alright, but not enough to commit in a traditional way. In the movie when he got married to her, it seemed to me that he was just too old and too tired to be playing games so he was just settling down with someone who will put up with his lifestyle and cringy one-liners.
Fine, we all have dated people like Big with commitment issues at some point in our life, so we can sympathize with her on that stand, but it got ridiculous how she kept obsessing over him even after he got married to Natasha. Like girl, he didn’t pick you, life sucks, get drunk, go ugly cry yourself to sleep and then move on.
She was unlikable the moment she was “trying” so hard to be something she wasn’t, tried to compete in a game that she was the only player and mocked Natasha just because she couldn’t be her, that was tacky.
this!
You’ve never been jealous of someone? We’ve all had ugly feelings I think
It's very telling to me that he took over 10 years to begrudgingly marry Carrie (and even then abandoned her at the altar at first) but married Natasha right away. It tells me everything I need to know about his actual feelings for Carrie.
@@7Mushrooms7 he divorced natasha right away though.. so i guess he didn't like her that much either.,
It’s funny watching this having never seen Sex and the city. Even that first quote about why guys date models… his response is “what about men that like beautiful women” which just proves Carries point that is literally seeing women like a trophy where you just collect beautiful things. It’s like he’s trying to act superior and proving himself shallow and exactly what she described. Maybe the show just didn’t age well but I’m surprised she would see herself as not good enough for someone like him, she literally has a remote job in the most expensive city in the world and can afford to buy nice clothes still while writing about love lol she’s made it
Same lol Her life seems much more fun and interesting than his.
I always interpreted the men who date models conversation between Carrie and Big as Carrie correctly identifying the misogyny, objectification, and fetishization behind the sexual pursuit of models specifically, and Big trying to cut her down by insisting they merely "love beautiful women" which could hardly be considered a crime. Later he gives her an inch of relief in the cafe when he admits "after a while, you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh." Measly breadcrumbs for an apology/takeback, especially because he still starts his sentence with "well there are so many goddamn gorgeous women out there, what can you expect" but Carrie is pleased by this and the episode ends on this "positive compromise"
It’s like hearing you describe my younger self and my “mr. Big” 10 years ago.
Wait. 1) who are you? And 2) how are you so fabulous?
My god lady, first time ever seeing a video of yours, and i am hooked. Blown away by how well this topic was covered. The knowledge is there, yes, but you got the humour and personality too!
This may be the most thorough breakdown I've seen regarding their relationship. Would love to see you cover each season!
Big rejects Samantha, imo, not b/c he can’t just have casual sex, but I think b/c Samantha was too forward. He still wants an old fashion type of gal who doesn’t flaunt her sexuality.
Funny, I thought it was because Samantha was so confident, and he likes insecure types because they put up with his crap and don’t care about their own self worth enough to walk away.
@@maet1664 I think it’s a little bit of both.
I didn't watch it in the '90s because I was too young and couldn't relate to the characters... but now I got hooked on Netflix and started watching it... it's quite contradictory in its feminist discourse because all they talk about is men... over and over again without stopping... for being 3 independent women in their thirties (I'm not including Samantha), they were very concerned about ending up single... which the show supposedly didn't advocate... the only truly revolutionary and avant-garde character in the show was Samantha... she was Sex and the City... the rest... maybe Miranda also had her good moments... but it reminds me of Cosmopolitan magazine, which claimed to be feminist and then had a cover with the title "How to get the man of your dreams in three simple steps." And Carrie is the epitome of that contradiction... nobody is perfect... and we all make mistakes, but at some point, the character becomes frustrating.
The show didn't age well because it's the dating scene of the 90s and early 2000s before dating apps made everything even messier. Before social media and more mainstream movements of decentering men. Some of the views on homosexuality and bisexuality also didn't age well. I love the show but its feminist traits are in the context of the feminism back then on the media which is much different from now. And a dating scene that was also totally different than what it is now. But some core principles of psychology and relationships on the show still apply and are relatable to most women.
@@7Mushrooms7 "I'm not saying no... and it's also my personal opinion... not even with my friends we are talking all the time about men... and furthermore... one's happiness is not even guaranteed by having a partner... so I repeat... it's like Cosmopolitan... which was considered progressive and yet all it wrote about was conventions... that's why I love Samantha... she's the only one who is happy with what she has... and she's not afraid to step outside of stereotypes."
Just the other day I was thinking about the scene where Big gives Carrie the one pink electric toothbrush head and she is over the moon, like he gave her diamond jewelry. It might not have been season one. Anyway, it struck me as how that gesture was such low hanging fruit but she made it seem like such a big deal. Her standards seemed so low.
I JUST rewatched this episode and cringed out of my miiind! I was like Carrrriiiiie Stand up!!!
I wrote this exact same thing on another video. Carrie ALWAYS found a way to make the littlest, most basic, minimalistic thing Big did or said and transform it into this huge gesture of love because that's what she wanted it to be so bad. So, since he couldn't offer her any real-life, tangible demonstrations of love, she just made it up in her mind (with a fucking toothbrush head!) I'm telling you, looking back at this show, I now find this character of Carrie to be insulting. The naiveness, the obsessiveness over a man, it was just ugh. As if women are incapable of maturing out of this childish teenage love drama behavior and cut off a toxic relationship for good. For the women still stuck in this loop in real life, this show sends the wrong message.
@@prezzlola And that desperation was a turn off for Big. But then they get married and she finds him boring. Both of them were attracted to the chase, not the relationship
@@srkh8966 I only watched the first film where they get married and didn't watch after that so I didn't know she gets bored but this right here is the whole heart of their relationship. It was always about the chase but never really getting to know the person and love them for them. Big would also get bored and avoidant when things were looking too "commitment" and then chase Carrie when she was moving on with other men. He even did this while married to Natacha (right away while with Carrie he waited over 10 years). The finale of the series is Big chasing her to Paris just because he lost her to another (awful) man. And when they were going to finally marry he abandoned her at the altar. But then he was chasing her when she was trying to heal from the pain and humiliation he caused her. The whole series was him avoiding commitment, hence why she was always doing the chase. Hence why I'm not surprised it got boring for her without all the drama and anxious attachment towards this avoidant man.
@@7Mushrooms7 The second film is torture.
I love the analysis, would definitely love to see more! I am 32 now but at 20 I was behaving exactly like Carrie. I never spoke out in my relationships, never said what was bothering me, I was always trying to 'play it cool'. It's no surprise that my relationships mostly ended in disaster. But watching Carrie kind of validated my toxic behavior😅hopefully now I know better.
If you look at it from the perspective of Carrie’s decision making, Carrie was essentially trying to *outkick her coverage* meaning she was trying to date above her level. Mr. Big was a few rungs on the latter above her. Carrie’s proper match would’ve been Aiden. Big’s kinda proper match was a woman like Natasha, though that particular pairing was unfortunate.
It is very common place for a “Carrie” to cheat on her peer, an “Aiden” with a man better than her, a “Big.” Normally a “Big” will happily cheat on his peer, a “Natasha” with a woman a few rungs down for the sake of variety, a “Carrie.”
In order for a “Carrie” to be in the orbit of a “Big” they have to make sex readily available to him without much requirement or even serious courting or promise of longevity of the relationship. In fact, a “Carrie” will almost certainly put up with any and all abuse and neglect from a “Big” because they understand this is the cost of gain proximity to men better than her. She’ll even go so far as to agree to be his secret, whether he’s in a relationship (when he was married) or not (the Chinese restaurant episode).
Ultimately, it’s important to understand that a “Carrie” will be perpetually dissatisfied with someone who is actually her peer and equal, an “Aiden,” and will, for as long as they are able, try to find a “Big,” even if it is unsustainable to do so. They will try to contextualize this behavior as an “Aiden” not doing enough (malcontent, greed) not being her match (denial, delusion) or make vague appeals to feelings or love being the reason. “Carrie” is destructive, be careful.
Spot on! This is the best description I’ve seen.
Very interesting. Except I don't think Aiden was her peer. I think he represented unconditional love, which she didn't have enough self-esteem to accept. I think Berger was her peer. At least until he stopped succeeding financially. (I ain't sayin' she a goldigger, but she ain't messin' with no broke...)
hi 👋🏿 im 24 and watched SATC late last year at 23 when dealing with my (final) situationship. watching the show made me realize i was on the path to being Carrie. i relate to her a lot but i’m really trying to work on my self worth. this video helped me understand my problems in dating!
the feelings of not being good enough/worthy are so strong. i decided to block the person i was with so i can truly move on and work on myself. hopefully i made the right decision 🥹
The more I rewatch the show, it looks like Mr. Big was honest about who he was and what he wanted and Carrie could not accept it.
Carrie was deeply insecure and even when she said she was fine with stuff that he said, she later took it out on Big, sometimes for good reason, sometimes not, and giving the guy whiplash.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t approve of everything what Big does, but if someone tells you who they are from the get go, believe him.
I also hated the on and off dynamic. That gets annoying and boring very quickly.
Her friends were beyond patient!
I love this analysis and I also can’t understand the people who hate on Carrie. She’s so real, she represents so many of us who have idolized a man and obsessed over him, even if rarely getting affirmative/emotionally mature behavior in return. Especially for the time when SATC was made, it was revolutionary. That’s also why I love what happened to them in Just Like That.
Cuz she was a terrible friend and super judgemental to them all.
@@gokcenakdag8189 weren’t they all though? Especially because they were 4 very different friends, they judged each other all the time but ultimately respected each other and their differences.
@@joanamiotto875 dısagree, since Carrie was the main character all three friends were there for her all the time but she was never a good friend to them herself. Despite writing a sex column she was so judgemental about everything regarding sex fetishes and sexuality. She judged Samantha all the time and even ruined their friendship by the end. She actually looked down on them all. She judged samantha for having casual sex, she judged Miranda for having standarts, and charlotte for wanting marriage. She even told Miranda that she deserved to be cheated on by steve ugh. There are some videos on youtube showing such moments you can search.
@@gokcenakdag8189 Someone can be an interesting character without being a good person
@@muscleandhate yea of course. I did love the show and binged it twice cuz its a good sitcom(20 min episodes with fast paced storytelling ) but honestly I would have wanted things to end way differently for all four women
The whole model talk just shows how insecure Mr. Big really is. Mostly because I believe he felt called out by what Carrie was saying and felt the need to say the “not all the guys” thing. This later proves to be true when we actually find out he frequents models and even marries one for validation on his big society circle. Moreover, the fact that he later tries to make Carrie feel bad about her not office job just proves this further, because we later learn with Aiden that Mr. Big, an office guy, is deeply jealous of people that doesn’t depend of an office job to make a profit. He may be rich, but that didn’t make him confident at all. Never settle for a man like this ladies
I must have watched SATC about 30 times, from beginning to end, over the years (I have the DVDs) and each time I noticed something I hadn't seen before, or began to interpret facts differently due to age and circumstances of life. But your analysis greatly enriched and expanded my opinions about the series. It would be really cool if you continued with it! Good job!
Same. I've watched this show so many times in different ages and phases of my life. My opinions on the characters and relationships have changed a lot at each view as I matured and got more experience.
I feel Big showed her who he was, set his boundaries (valid or not) and she just kept pushing.
💯
I think big was pretty obvious about what type of person he was, he didn’t want something serious, he didn’t want a “nagging difficult gf” and Carrie always said she was ok or fine with things that she clearly wasn’t ok with (typical “I’m fine” but they want you to ask more), and big being the guy he is was like “if you say you’re fine you’re fine”.
But when they dated, she was also miserable-she hated the purse he bought her, hated his friends, hated that she had to go outside to smoke. He hated that she was such high maintenance in social situations
I have never seen your channel before but this showed up in my feed and I’m addicted! Please continue with the other seasons. I’m off to check out your other content now!
I lolled at the ‘GARLIC’ part. Such a good narration. It’s nice to see that we can analyze and reflect on the sexist and pick me patterns from 90s-00’s shows.
I know! It's like.. 'wtf were we thinking?' 🤣
@@insightsbyv btw I’m also a Slavic language speaker and your English is amazing 🤌🏻
I see myself in this relationship. For me he is so perfect and special, I want to be special for him too but he doesn't reassures me in that. It is like I feel that I could never be as special as he is to me to him and that breaks my heart. But at the end it is my insecurities and ego, not him
yeah but you still have to leave him
please leave and find someone who is going to make you feel special
don’t waste your precious time on someone who is not the right one for you
there is someone out there who is going to love you and show it to you just as much as you do to them
The is in the first place is the fact that you chose someone who doesn’t love you. He loves how you obsess over him. Yes, it’s you. It’s not a *real* relationship, just a master/slave dynamic mentally/emotionally. Reciprocation MAKES a relationship real. Big & Carrie didn’t have that either. Don’t be a lapdog. You deserve the love you give.
Please look up videos on ‘Limerence’. It will help. 🙏
39:29 getting this advice from therapy literally changed my life regarding relationships, romantic and platonic
“Carrie, on what basis??” … truly, a phrase for every episode and every season 😂
👧 🧄🧄🧄🕴️
I was in my early 40’s when I watched a few seasons of this show. I never understood the Carrie character. I thought she was pathetic and didn’t understand why she was chasing an older man who didn’t seem interested in her. Big flirted with her sometimes but it was obvious he didn’t take her seriously. Maybe I would have felt differently when I was 18 or 19. Anyway, horrible character and I hope young women didn’t see her as some kind of romantic heroine. Don’t chase people. If they want to be with you, you’ll know. Even if you catch the person you were chasing, you’re always going to be at a disadvantage.
Big liked Carrie a lot and was amused by her. The End. It wasn't a big love for him.
He was the center of Carrie's world, but she wasn't the center of his.
Exactly. I hate how Big gets so demonized for not falling head over heels in love with Carrie immediately the way she fell for him. He wasn’t sure. He liked her and wanted to date her but he wasn’t centering Carrie as the most important person in his life. Aiden centered Carrie, though, and she hated him for it. I think the very fact that Big didn’t center Carrie is what made her keep chasing him.
@@gwenjackson8583 Carrie and Aiden had two strikes again them. She and Aiden had a mismatch of lifestyles and priorities, and she was still hung up on Big.
The idea of Carrie and Aiden getting back together in the reboot is ridiculous to me. When had she ever pined for him?
I loved this dive into Carrie and Mr. Big! You were so insightful. I would love more analysises!
I see why my young brain couldn't stand Mr. Big. Carrie just didn't make sense until I was older now I'm happy I never bothered with this show
Same, I remember watching bits of it on TV when I was in my early teens and it annoyed me haha.
Please continue! Superb analysis, the role of Big in the disfunction of his and Carrie’s relationship isn’t analysed enough. Hope you will publish the rest of the series. Can’t wait for Aidan’s season! Thank you so much for your content!
Can I just say that your English is amazing and the way you express yourself is very articulate. Also this is really interesting and please make more ❤
I would definitely like to see your analysis of the other seasons as well. Very insightful! I am still putting a person on a pedestal and meanwhile I am trying to find my worth and what makes me happy and what I want out of my life. These kinds of insights help me do this. So thank you!
The worst of womens mistakes- and then to marry that mistake. A life of misery.
I subbed so fast. You are so GOOD at breaking this shit down. Carrie was a dumpster fire and this character messed up his millennial women did relationships.
I love your insights! Just subscribed, keep going :) you have such a great way of analyzing and expressing your thoughts/analysis.
If you are consistently choosing someone who hurts you, you are not a victim. You are the perpetrator of your own misery
a victim of yourself AHAHAHAHAHA
I used to relate to Carrie so much but now that I’ve learned about attachment styles and worked on myself, watching it again made me realise what a classic unhealthy anxious/avoidant loop their relationship was.
Never watched Sexy and the City and tbh I don't want to, but I've always wanted to watch an analysis of the characters. What Mr. Big did to Carrie, apparently, is what many men do to get a woman. This power dynamic is so frequent, yet most of us don't notice it. In fact, it reminded me of men that had/have this habit and they got what they wanted from me. Now that I know, I won't fall for this. Thank you for your video, you should have more subs, cause you're content is really good.
I've never watched the show but I felt the need to click on this video anyway. After watching I realized why, I needed to hear this for myself and I will be taking the advice you had for her. Thank you ❤️
This is so good! Please do the rest of the seasons!
Carrie always assumed and made a fairytale about who Big was, what he wanted, believed, valued. She made up an idea and was always thrown when he turned out to be the douche he is.
I think we all do this to some extent with our partners but Carrie-
She has the emotional maturity of a late teen early 20's and the insecurity to go with it. She knows she is attractive enough, thin enough, and interesting enough to get the validation she needs from randos.
But she never feels she is enough to get the validity from Big. She also expects him and every partner to be able to read her mind and body language as if they are in her head.
She doesn't like to or know how to properly communicate unless it's in a spiral of happy/sad/angry. She is always flabbergast when a partner can't do that and even offended.
She gets so in her own head and will literally stalk an ex or current partner to find out information.
I feel Big is clueless and has no curiosity to be otherwise. He doesn't see Carrie as a serious relationship. He sees her as one in a long line of situationships. She sees him as her soulmate in modern terms.
Edit to add: He seems to see her as a cute young entertaining plaything. Not an equal. Her spiraling outbursts give him fuel, being the douche he is, to take her even less seriously.
This was so thorough! I learned a lot from this and I would love season 2 and more seasons of this it’s educational lol 😂
your points are so valid and your reasoning is so clear, but the way you express and explain things is so natural funny. this analysis is gold. both educational and comedian. i wish i have a friend like you ( and i wish carrie have a friend like you 😂)
Carrie had 3 friends like insightsbyV but she never listened.
@@chinyereugwu9431 ahhh true!!
omg i love ur take on this it even gives me a new perspective on my own relationship (tht i think i need to end lol)
Thank you for the deep analysis. They did have cell phones at the start of the show. Carrie chases Big because she hates herself. By a miracle, she convinced Big douche into getting married and he left her a wealthy widow. Had this not worked out in fantasy land, she would have wasted her time. In real life, we all should be with partners who love us at least as much as we love them.
Great analysis! Totally agree with you! Can't wait for season 2 analysis! ❤
Great video! I've never watched SATC completely all the way through but I have a lot of opinions on Carrie & Big. I would love it if you did this for their relationship for the other seasons as well!
PLEASE do more videos! I absolutely LOVE this analysis!
Yes please review ALL seasons! 😀
I don’t think it’s fair to ask someone if they think you’re the one. Some people date for years before knowing you’re the one. Myself included. Sometimes it takes growing, communication and therapy. Even if you aren’t sure it’s more important that you’re both committed to each other and growing with each other and working through it. That’s not really Carrie and Big’s situation though 😅
I looooooved your analysis ! Hope you will continue with the other seasons !
Your content reminds me alot of Indie Nile! Loved the video and now a happy subscriber
He rejected Samantha because he wanted someone like Carrie who would pine for him. Samantha would have fucked him and went on with her life. He didn't want that he wanted someone who would be head over heels for him.
So epic thank for making this!!
We need a whole series on this
Such a good diagnosis. Much appreciated 👏
They were both toxic
Thanks so much for your insights!
My friends and I love discussing their dynamic and how unhealthy it was.
you’re gonna have 1M subs in no time!!!
I watched this many, many times. As a 20-something I felt all the ways you are saying. But as I watch it as a 40-something, I have to point out that he cannot make her feel anything. Her own hang-ups dictate her feelings. He was taking his sweet time, and she was rushing to get him to be exclusive, or to meet his mom, or to say he loves her. Was he an A$$hole? Abso-Fukin-lutely. But he has been there before and he is not in a hurry. Carrie was a mess and he saw that and probably thought he really needed to go slow. Not the bad guy. Just being cautious.
SaTC is the iconic series. I don't know how about others but I definitely had a Carry stage of my life. Fortunately, I was in my 20th. I never liked Big and the fact the we find his real name almost at the end of EEEVERYTHING makes it a cool spin actually. The writers are great. They create so much drama and jeot series engaging. At least for me. Thank you for the breakdown. I absolutely loved it.
They were BOTH equally shitty people the entire time until the end in Just like That. Aiden deserved so much better. Carrie and Big deserved each other.
I am excited to see where it gets.. I haven't watched the new series at all.. I think too many people told me it's not worth it😅 But doing this now.. I think it will be needed😁🫶
Please analyze the character trait differences between Carrie and Natasha.
It’s really sad Big never took her seriously and Carrie’s constant desperation for him just drove him further away.
Great video!!!☺️ I was where Carry was for sure. Trying to make someone love me who just isn't that interested in me. I did a lot of therapy to heal my father wound. I wished Carry would have gone to therapy.✌🏻
I'm so glad I immediately hated the main romance in the show and stopped watching it when I was a teen. Now I don't fuck with partners who show the slightest bit of disrespect towards me.
I love your accent so much..
Mesmerising
Thank you for your take! Every statement's just spot-on
He's constantly condescending and wants to take her down a peg every time he sees her. It's called: lying by omission. Everything he does is giving me the ick.
I never got that from him. Carrie wanted too much too soon from Big.
Everyone: Mr.Big is so conflicted/complicated/misunderstood/immature/toxic
V: he is a douche!
Thank you so much for this video, your voice is comforting and the points you make are really logical. Love SATC for good writing and I always sympathized with Carrie, because she wasn't mean, just foolish and like you said - constantly seeking validation. I wish she didn't end up with Big, because to me it was un ultimate surrender, the betrayal of herself and everything she believed in. Also for unexperienced viewer, someone in their 20s, this might seem as a perfect depiction of true love and how it survived despite all the obstacles 🙈 So I'm glad there are people like you who can talk some sense into them and show them it was not love at all. Not from Big's side at least.
PS. Your doggo is really cute ❣
Oh my good seems like my dating life story when I was younger and dumber... Validation seeking, all the time...
Okay, at the beginning Mr Big didn't give Carrie the respect and called her column cute etcetera, but let's be real he wasn't talking to a doctor, nurse, teacher or anyone who is doing things to help people's lives he was talking to someone who wrote a sex column. I mean everyone deserves some basic respect but seriously how would you treat someone when you discovered they did sex work or were a stripper or were an only fans on youtube? Would that not reflect whatsoever and how you saw them going forward and how you spoke to them? What's absolutely fascinating about the show sex and the City is that it is about two narcissists possibly big being a worst narcissist but they're pretty similar and we are all fascinated by narcissists as you can see most politicians actors and all that become famous because they are narcissists they are very charming and fascinating people.. however they are extremely toxic and selfish, and everyone has some narcissistic traits in them that's why we identify with these characters
Beautiful analysis 🫶
I think it was unreasonable for Carrie to ask Big to tell her she was the one after only dating for such a short amount of time. I mean, he could’ve lied, but you wouldn’t know the person enough just yet to know if they’re “the one”. An avoidant like Big especially would’ve felt a tremendous pressure because he would think by telling someone they’re “the one” they’d be bound by a “contract” forever for something he wasn’t ready for. But yes I still also think he was a douche, but I know where he’s coming from.
Can you do a case study on the Charlotte character?
Pls do more seasons! This was enjoyable
Big cheated on his first ex, then on Natasha. Carrie cheated on Aiden. They are both unethical and laxk integrity. Ew
Great analysis, but 10 minutes in and you haven’t shown any clips from the season… Would be more engaging if you included these.
I'm happy you enjoyed it!🫶 I understand.. Right now I am more focused on improving storytelling and analysis (more 'solo podcast' style), but maybe in the future✨️
definitely season 2!!!!
What I don't understand is, why do men like Big who aren't really into Carrie, don't see her true value, don't see her as an equal, and ultimately don't want to commit to - why do they stick around? From my memory, Carrie and Big had a thing for over a year if not years. Why don't they just go and find somebody more suitable for themselves?
My boyfriend has been guilty of not introducing me to certain people he knows. At first, it really pissed me off and I let him know that, but he explained that the person we ran into wasn't a very good person and that he probably thought it would be best if he didn't know I was his girlfriend. I let it slide and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, but there's been times where he's introduced me to other people/ acquaintances as his wife.
The way you say d@uch!! 😂😂 I love it ❤❤
I cannot express how much I hate them both.
This video was all my inner thoughts as a fan of the show. Looking back on the show when I watched it as a teen into early adult hood, Carries love life always made me cringe and made me feel like I’d never want that for myself. Yes, she was the main character of the show and her love life needed to be center stage but her character was selfish, immature and poorly written. It’s like she never got off the roller coaster of immaturity. Any time I wanted to root for her, she always found a way to let you down. It’s like any time they gave her a storyline to mature and “grow up” she never did. Her character wasn’t fleshed out they way the did with Samantha or Charlotte and even as well as they did Miranda (my favorite character who I related to in my adult years). And from start to beginning Big was a prick, not one redeemable quality about him.
I honestly find the Carrie character insulting to women. As if we are not able to mature and cut off a toxic relationship for good. It is a shame that the writers never made Carrie grow up and accept Big was not for her and move on. A few times in the show she became aware of it, she told him (like when he meets her outside her building the day before she moves to France with Petrovsky), but did she stand strong on her decision? No. She always, again and again, fell for Big's manipulative tactics, stupid and ambiguous one-liners and little crumbs of a relationship he offered her. Pathetic.
@@prezzlola all he had to say to her then was “we were good together baby” (something along those lines form my memory) like Carrie, emphasis on the WERE! And the way she messed up Aidan and gave that poor man relationship ptsd. I could NOT find it in myself to watch the spin off on Max when it came out.
He was Avoidant and she was Anxious. The combination that is commonly attracted to each other but is a combo made in hell. They were both fkd up. They were both attracted to each other’s crap.
Please continue this series! I love it!
Please carry on analysing all the seasons and the movies 😅 I really wish at the end of season 6 when she shouted to him “YOU AND ME NOTHING, forget you know my number, in fact forget you know my name…& you can drive down this street all you want because I DONT LIVE HERE ANYMORE” was the end of their relationship. So annoying he then hounded her friends and then chased her in Paris. He only wanted her when she’d finally had enough!! Infuriating
I agree with everything you said. I think like attracts like and they both have insecure attachment styles and afraid of commitment, so they both live in a fantasy. Also, I think Mr. Big wants a woman that he can bring home to his mom, I don't think his mother would approve of Carrie. The thing I would have liked to see more about Carrie; her family, they never talk about her family dynamics; it would have been interesting to see her relationship w/ her dad. When Aiden wanted to introduce her to his parents, she freaked out. Mr. Big really took her for granted; not really respecting her, but also loving her in his way. I think he felt comfortable around her; like he can be himself with her, but also didn't respect her individuality or her needs and wants from the relationship; or really give her the security just the validation.
Big was no prize