I completely agree. The attitude of the son is what makes me feel like the dad should not bail him out. He will just go back into debt or end up in trouble with the IRS again.
They’ve been making excuses for him his whole life. This is just the ending portion. This guy new in his heart his son would”run it into the ground” but was so deep into the cognitive dissonance. Imagine a lifetime of poor behaviour, poor decisions, poor financial management etc. and REPEATEDLY bailing him out., then turning over your f….ing business to him. Why would the 8, 10, 12 bailing out for $200 000 slow this guy down.
I hear myself in the father's voice. You know the right thing to do but you need to hear somebody with 'authority' give you permission to do it - and even then you probably still don't do it until one day you say enough is enough.
Exactly my thought. He said he took over his business and I was just waiting to hear how he destroyed it. Even total strangers knew what would happen I’m not sure how this guy didn’t.
As a 20yr old, I believe that this grown ass baby needs to take accountability for his actions. Daddy is not going to be there to bail him out everytime
Great parents? He had behavioral issues for a long time. That doesn’t just happen, that comes from the parents. He needs to work on himself and grow, he’s the only one responsible for himself now. That doesn’t mean his parents are great because they had remorse and weakness to bail him out so many other times.
Exactly. After age 17 I don't know how people aren't aware of their tax situation. He just assumed. The father $2 million isn't worth anything since he isn't liquid (all in properties) and the son sounds like a real winner (sarcastic).
I have a buddy who’s son is just like this. My friend and his wife are the best people, but the son has been a mess his whole life. He was hooked on hard drugs and managed to get clean, but still smokes weed every day; lives in his parents “rental property” (rent free, of course); he doesn’t work, and has a teenage daughter that my buddy and his wife are basically raising. It’s so obvious that the kid needs the crutches kicked out, so he can either stand or fail on his own, but unless you’re willing to cut the cord, he’s never going to have to own his own life.
I have a few cousins in their late 20s and 30s who don’t grow up because their parents pay all their bills. They go to work when they feel like it. I wonder what will happen when their parents die?
Daddy needs to grow a backbone and actually become a father. It's probably too late now though. Unbelievable the amount of coddling. I pray that I never make this mistake with my kids.
This is one of the most interesting calls I've heard in a while. It seems like the father never had the backbone to discipline his son, not one single time. He never let him deal with consequences of his actions. He shielded from receiving the much needed pain of corrective action. As a result his grown son is an entitled spoiled brat who has yet to deal with his own misbehavior. Dad knows what to do but I'm very skeptical that he has the guts to say no to his son when he has caved hundreds of times in the past.
One issue not discussed was that a $200k bailout from dad would create another taxable event, Forty years old and never learned to be an adult?? Jade is right on this one, sometimes you have to cut the umbilical cord. And no, he doesn't have a few years to wait about updating his will. He needs to get with an estate planner and get all that figured out or the IRS is going to take the house and anything else available to satisfy the tax debt. He could probably bypass Junior and set up a trust for their granddaughter - and I would make the granddaughter's mom trustee.
Nah, not the granddaughter's "mom." She was stupid enough to have a relationship with the jerk and even stupider to intentionally have illegitimate offspring. The caller needs to leave everything to his own daughter, not continue to support the son and all of his bad decisions. He needs to bypass Junior and everything Junior is associated with.
@@paulabroadway1697If the dad is going to judge his granddaughter’s mother for her bad decisions then he should save some for himself and a lifetime of bad decisions to bail his son out.
@@Dan16673Paying someone else's debt is a gift under tax law. There's plenty of case law on that matter. If they exceed the annual exclusion and don't file the Form 709 they'll have problems.
I am a former IRS Revenue Officer, and now an Enrolled Agent primarily in the tax resolution business. If I closed your IRS case with a continous wage levy, there was no negotiation. You failed and I had to take a draconian enforcement action. If you then failed to file after that - the IRS may very well be looking at a criminal referral. File and pay; file and pay. By law, the IRS can collect taxes for 10 years after the tax is assessed. The IRS lien attaches to any property the son owns today and comes to own in the future -generally that 10 years. Dad ran a responsible business and earned wealth, but has enabled his son to be a screw up. Anyone that has the audacity for their “share” of the parent’s estate before there is an estate is a screw up. Cut the umbilical cord. It’s time for the son to stand on his own. Say no. Talk over his concerns with an estate planning attorney so this 40 year old child does not squander any more. He already ruined the labor of his father’s career…
Well said. Thank you for your expertise. This is a grown man who screwed up and no parent should have to pay the price for his...stupidity?....hubris?...Mooch?
@barbararepko4824 Westley Snipes went to jail. Steve Harvey almost landed in jail. His accountant did not send his checks to the IRS. The only one who can get away with tax evasion, is Hunter Biden.
This son has a long history of behavioral issues, which often suggests there was stuff going on in the home. Whether there was or not, how do you hand a business over to someone who has such a history? Sounds like the son isn't the only one with a long history of bad decisions.
If he tackles it on his own, his habits will change going forward (hopefully). If you bail him out, he won't learn anything and will repeat the habits and/or choices that got him in this mess in the first place.
He's like this because mommy and daddy always bailed him out. Leave his inheritance to his daughter and don't give him a penny. Let him deal with the results of his own actions so he can mature.
I didn't have tax debt, but my parents bailed me out on other debt. I regret that because I didn't learn to control my money until I went bankrupt at 40. If I had gone bankrupt at 25 I would have had a lot more time to recover.
This whole episode could've been about my family members. The business, the tax debt, etc. Gives me chills. I feel for what this dad & mom are going through.
This is an excellent call for all of the young guys out there listening. This is what happens if you choose to have children and you don’t tell them no. You will be bailing them out for the rest of your life. Don’t be this guy.
The son knows he has an inheritance coming, so he is essentially pre-inheriting his share by demanding constant bailouts. The parents may need those funds in their later years, so how can they justify continuing to fund their son's bad finances?
What concerns me is that the dad said his son got heated when the dad tried to find out what was really going on. I'd be afraid the son might try to hurry along getting his inheritance. I actually wonder if the son has a gambling problem. I'd change the will immediately and tell the son he already received his inheritance. Not having that safety net might grow him up.
Once I heard I heard he would blow up on us and wouldn’t talk to us about it, I said to myself he would be on his own going forward and would not get a dime from me.
Kinda funny when you owe the IRS money they add on fees and interest. When they owe you throughout the year they'll pay you to the penny and no more whenever they get around to it.
Income tax means the income went through your hands. Pay as you go. The IRS pays interest on refunds under certain conditions. If you amend last years return, and are owed a refund, they pay interest. If you file in February and your refund is delayed until, say July, you get interest.
You’ve trained him to learn that you will bail him out every time, why would he think anything else? He’s been coddled all his life by the parents, he can’t succeed until he’s allowed to fail. He’ll never learn his lessons if you don’t allow him to fail and pick himself up ON HIS OWN! I did this with my children after my parents handed me everything in life, I wanted them to be given the opportunity to do what I was never able to do with my parents. The answer is “NO”.
I am glad my parents were poor. I could NEVER depend on them to bail me out of anything. But, IMHO, these parents are/have always using/used MONEY as a way of tethering their children to them. I only knew my Dad had a will when he died and an attorney contacted us. Maybe if the son wasn’t so aware of what the parents were planning to gift, he would live a life that didn’t depend on it
In this situation, I would not bail him out. I might be willing to help him walk through it, but I would absolutely not bail him out. Also, given that he mention "his share" of the inheritance, his intentions are made clear. He does not intend to change his ways, and if you leave that property or money to him he will use it to bail himself out in the future. He doesn't respect that gift. I would change the will. I can't tell you exactly what to do, but maybe consider leaving it to the grand daughter, or possibly just keeping it in trust (if possible) with the caveat that he can take ownership IF and ONLY IF he has gotten his act together by that time. Tough love is what is needed here to steer him in the right direction towards ownership of his own life and his own mistakes.
$200,000 [if that turns out to be accurate] is about 10% of his parents net worth. From their perspective, it is empirically feasible to liquidate $200K and not have it be a major impact on their lives, Certainly, I would never go over 10% of net worth for such a thing. That's my personal rule. But, the flip side is he will do this again. Wash, rinse, spin. Same old same old. He'll be back, hat in hand, in a few years asking for the umpteenth bail out. I would not do it.
I can help. His son should change his entity to avoid harsher late penalties. Then hire full service payroll to avoid payroll penalties. Then offer and compromise with the IRS
I'm making this comment before I hear Dave's recommendation. But this is my recommendation. Don't pay off the debt, don't leave him a share of your estate to him. Redo your will to put his share of the estate in trust for the GRAND DAUGHTER, maybe providing some monthly stipend when she turns 18 or 21 until she's 35. Then pay out to her. I say this, so that her mother or father or both do not guilt her out of her inheritance.
Do whatever you want. No need to call for advice. I'm sure you know what to do. If you broke this cycle long ago, your grown son would not be messing up continuously and returning for bailout over and over.
Hey, dad, if you're always going to be right there bailing out your son, why should he ever be expected to pay his own way? He started this pattern of behavior more than 20 years ago when he was still in high school. You're enabling him to act irresponsibly and as long as you keep doing it, he'll keep expecting you to do it. The dad should listen to his gut and tell his son to grow up and start paying his tax bills because what he is doing right now isn't working and if it continues it is only going to get worse.
a child in an adult body but can't manage his life... mommy and daddy have silverspoon fed this boy and he doesn't know how to stand on his two feet, they've given him everything, why should he work or take anything serious?!
He will bail him out then also leave him the house. When the dad said “he loves this house”. No he doesn’t. He will sell it before you are in the ground and move back to LA.
I have a sister just like this, although the numbers are smaller. Can't count the number of times my folks have bailed her out of trouble. It's as much their fault as it is hers.
This dad loves his son but man, he's been bailing him out his entire life. He needs to let him figure this out. He talks about his son not being able to figure this mess out like he's 7 years old. He's a grown man and I know it's difficult but you'll be doing this until the day you die if you keep bailing him out. Some people are okay with that.
Jeff so sad but he’s a grown man and it’s up to him to take care of it. I can’t imagine asking my parents for my inheritance ( that’s in the Bible) Co dependency is a thing you don’t need to rescuer him, he needs to save himself it’s called tough love.
No, no, and no. He knows all about taxes, he just doesn't want to pay them. Don't give him any money. He's just going to keep asking you for more. Tell him to go out in the world and grow up. It's about time. And talk to a really estate attorney. Any money you leave him, he'll lose it.
No matter what the dad chooses, his relationship with his son is going to be strained. Either Son is mad at Dad for not helping out, or dad is mad for helping son AGAIN and Son still doesn't learn his lesson.
Sometimes you have to face the fact that the son you always dreamed of having did not turn out the way you hoped, and it becomes time to mourn and grieve, and let them go their own way. It's time to refocus resources and attention to the family members who are responsible, loving, and perhaps not male but who can preserve and grow a family legacy into the future.
Time for some tough love I'd say. He made a mess of it once through ignorance - that's somewhat forgivable. I've known other folk that got messed up with being 1099'd. The second time is all on him, he's made a bigger mess and he can't play the "I didn't understand what I was getting into" card this time. Sounds like he's got a long history of messing up and getting bailed out and it's a worse mess every time. I feel for him but he's got to grow up.
You don't get $200k in IRS debt by not paying taxes for 1 year, unless the son was making $400k+ they didn't file taxes for several years for this to happen.
Dad - stop being an enabler!!! NO MORE BAILOUTS!!! Why would you give your business to a son who has never demonstrated maturity or the ability to handle money??? Baffling.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. How many times do you we need to say it? This is one of those times someone needs to learn the hard way. Dad tried to help the easy way. Now it's time to learn the hard way.
Sadly, these parents are going to bail out the son again and again and again until they’re all pauperized. This kid has learned nothing the parents haven’t learned anything much either.
Had relatives before screwup and parents bailed them out. Problem is, it was multiple times for same reasons and cash injection from parents just enabled /continued problem.
Most important thing to the father right now is maintaining his relationship with his granddaughter. Of course he doesn’t want to bail him out but granddaughter is the pawn.
Son needs some very tough love. Has no idea what reality is, dad has always been there to get him out of trouble. Do your child a favour and let him clean up his own mess.
He’s son has never had to be responsible. That’s his problem. As much as it hurts, don’t enable him for one more day. The parents realize he’s a f up. What they don’t realize is that he’s never going to change.
He’s been a piece of shit most of his life, and the dad saying he thinks his idea is still a good idea. Tht tells u right there tht the parents just enable him even to this day. Taking care of a grown man who shd take responsibility for his own mistake. But u can tell the dad will still help him from how he’s talking.
Set up the estate so that he only gets enough recurring pmts for his basic necessities You have to treat people like this no different than if they were addicting to drugs or alcohol. They just can’t be trusted with an extra money they are given because you know what they will do with it. Then set up recurring disbursements for his granddaughter as well. Don’t make the daughter the executor of the entire estate because that will drive a wedge between them and put unnecessary stress on her. Make an unrelated third-party the executor that the son cannot emotionally blackmail.
Mine has until age 25 to figure it out cause I’m not bailing her out after that. So I told her take advantage of free rent, no bills, etc until age 25. If she’s smart she’ll save as much as she can OR graduate with one useful degree. After age 25 I’m not doing no more bail outs and I will charge her bills(income based) if she decides to stay with me. 💡
He probably bragged about how he doesn't pay taxes. I was employed the same way in the 90s and 2000s and wasn't knowledgeable about taxes, either, so I looked it up. He blamed it on the employer when it was his lack of responsibility. Don't bail him out.
Yeah, why wouldn't you question when your paycheck isn't reduced by any taxes? Wouldn't you question it at all, or hear about people filing taxes and catch on eventually? I'm with you, he knew and kept doing it year after year.
Shouldn’t he have noticed when he got a 1099 instead of W2. The first time I received a 1099 I went to talk to a tax preparer. Also I suspect he wasn’t filing at all because my friend did some work for her mom’s business and didn’t know her mom submitted a 1099 on her. Next thing she and her husband got a demand letter from the IRS.
If they clean up his mess, he will learn nothing. He didn’t learn the first time when they bail him out with the music job fiasco. So why would he learn now… This man sounds like a good father but needs to maybe let him work this out by himself… God help them…
I wouldn’t bail him out, and I’d go even further and consider not leaving him any money from the estate, or at least very limited amounts, and leave most of it in a trust for the grandkid
You aren't required to give him anything when you pass away. You can skip him and give it to the granddaughter instead. Tell him up front you're not going to let him continue to waste what you intended to give to him AND her and you're taking steps to save it FOR her since he won't. Then let him deal with the IRS, even up to and including going to prison if that's what it takes. The gravy train has to stop.
Wow this would no't make clients feel comfortable using his company. Because, if he does not pay his taxes how can clients be confidant he will send their payments in. They never taught him financial responsibility nor does he apoear to want to learn from his mistakes. If, they helped him it should be with the caveat that he take Dave's class.
His parents are his issue, they pay it off and he will be there again in another 5-10 years. There is no way he didn't know that he was that far in with the IRS, he knew he needed to file. This is not a tax mistake, this is just not paying taxes.
Son doesn’t realize he’s in trouble cause they’ve never let him be in trouble
Exactly
😢 This is so sad, his parents are probably unable to have a decent retirement because of him.
@@geogmz8277except they are. It’s not their bill
@@geogmz8277 sene them money
Agree i will not pay
Don’t pay his debt. He isn’t going to change and will do it again. It concerns you more than it concerns him.
I completely agree. The attitude of the son is what makes me feel like the dad should not bail him out. He will just go back into debt or end up in trouble with the IRS again.
@@vickieclark5931 Yes, and did he really think the IRS and the DOJ would actually be on his side like they were with Hunter Biden?
They’ve been making excuses for him his whole life. This is just the ending portion. This guy new in his heart his son would”run it into the ground” but was so deep into the cognitive dissonance. Imagine a lifetime of poor behaviour, poor decisions, poor financial management etc. and REPEATEDLY bailing him out., then turning over your f….ing business to him. Why would the 8, 10, 12 bailing out for $200 000 slow this guy down.
💯
Son is a piece of garbage and you know he plays against his parents with his daughter as a pawn
I hear myself in the father's voice. You know the right thing to do but you need to hear somebody with 'authority' give you permission to do it - and even then you probably still don't do it until one day you say enough is enough.
Why would you give your business to an incompetent child? You are not helping him. Quit bailing him out. He needs to grow up.
Exactly my thought. He said he took over his business and I was just waiting to hear how he destroyed it. Even total strangers knew what would happen I’m not sure how this guy didn’t.
They’re called enablers
@@TheComp_TrollerLots of em out here. Lots!
Cause he is an idiot!!
Absolutely
As a 20yr old, I believe that this grown ass baby needs to take accountability for his actions. Daddy is not going to be there to bail him out everytime
As long as Jeff is living, he will continue to bail him out. What is the best indicator of future behavior?
Amen! Thank God there’s someone young who knows that❤
Way to absolutely take advantage of great parents your entire life.
Party is over son.
Too many kids have great parents and screw it up
Amen
Great parents? He had behavioral issues for a long time. That doesn’t just happen, that comes from the parents.
He needs to work on himself and grow, he’s the only one responsible for himself now. That doesn’t mean his parents are great because they had remorse and weakness to bail him out so many other times.
I am having a hard time believing that the son didn't know he was supposed to pay his own taxes in California.
He knew and chose to ignore it. His dad confronted him multiple times
Exactly. After age 17 I don't know how people aren't aware of their tax situation. He just assumed. The father $2 million isn't worth anything since he isn't liquid (all in properties) and the son sounds like a real winner (sarcastic).
I live in California and agree
@@stevenporter863 I would write him out The will
The first time the kid got screwed. The second time the kid screwed himself. And his dad.
How can the son mention future inheritance to pay off his debt?!? Selfish! Horrible!
for real!
Prodigal son
Entitled
@@justusbryce3392 I was looking for that comment. Hopefully, this guy can get his life together like the parable.
Yeah that is just ghoulish. Do not bail him out!
If you bail him out yet again what makes you think he won’t do it again?
Knows the son is ‘bad with money’ and wanted to leave insurance company to him?
100% he will run into debt again. He refuses to fix any of his own problems.
Well the son would be stupid not to do it again. I wish the father would adopt me.
Let him lose everything. Go to jail even. He needs a harsh wake up call. If you bail him out, he will just continue to do the same things.
DONT BAIL HIM OUT
It seems like the kid has had more breaks and financial support than most of us had during our lives. It's time to grow up kid and find your own way!
Economic Outpatient Care ruins kids.
I have a buddy who’s son is just like this. My friend and his wife are the best people, but the son has been a mess his whole life. He was hooked on hard drugs and managed to get clean, but still smokes weed every day; lives in his parents “rental property” (rent free, of course); he doesn’t work, and has a teenage daughter that my buddy and his wife are basically raising. It’s so obvious that the kid needs the crutches kicked out, so he can either stand or fail on his own, but unless you’re willing to cut the cord, he’s never going to have to own his own life.
I have a few cousins in their late 20s and 30s who don’t grow up because their parents pay all their bills. They go to work when they feel like it. I wonder what will happen when their parents die?
*whose* son .... not who's. Who's = who is.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I think you got the point, grammatical error notwithstanding.
The parents are the problem. Stop enabling him.
My guess the wife wants to bail him out. He doesn't sound like he's onboard.
The father will be using part of his son's inherentance. Listen up dude.
@@miketheyunggod2534There's no need to advance the inheritance
@@MarkYeung1 That's part of the problem he's enabling the son I'm surprised Dave didn't bring that up or the prodigal son parable.
@@miketheyunggod2534 No one is guaranteed an inheritance or entitled to one. All of us should make it on our own. An inheritance is a bonus in life.
There’s literally no signs that he won’t fall into the same habits after you bail him out (again). His actions as a 40 year old father is baffling
Daddy needs to grow a backbone and actually become a father. It's probably too late now though. Unbelievable the amount of coddling. I pray that I never make this mistake with my kids.
@@ryankiel4895 my Dad would laugh in my face if I asked him to bail me out of 200k. I know he loves me but he’s not braindead
This is one of the most interesting calls I've heard in a while. It seems like the father never had the backbone to discipline his son, not one single time. He never let him deal with consequences of his actions. He shielded from receiving the much needed pain of corrective action. As a result his grown son is an entitled spoiled brat who has yet to deal with his own misbehavior.
Dad knows what to do but I'm very skeptical that he has the guts to say no to his son when he has caved hundreds of times in the past.
Hence, we now have Millennials and Gen Zeros.
I love that the father is calling because he cares but his son didn’t because you could care less!
Good caller. He gets the point and gets the info out.
Yes, he was very lucid and explained everything very satisfactorily.
One issue not discussed was that a $200k bailout from dad would create another taxable event, Forty years old and never learned to be an adult?? Jade is right on this one, sometimes you have to cut the umbilical cord. And no, he doesn't have a few years to wait about updating his will. He needs to get with an estate planner and get all that figured out or the IRS is going to take the house and anything else available to satisfy the tax debt. He could probably bypass Junior and set up a trust for their granddaughter - and I would make the granddaughter's mom trustee.
Maybe not. If he made a payment to irs from dads account. That wouod not count as a gift
Nah, not the granddaughter's "mom." She was stupid enough to have a relationship with the jerk and even stupider to intentionally have illegitimate offspring.
The caller needs to leave everything to his own daughter, not continue to support the son and all of his bad decisions. He needs to bypass Junior and everything Junior is associated with.
@@paulabroadway1697If the dad is going to judge his granddaughter’s mother for her bad decisions then he should save some for himself and a lifetime of bad decisions to bail his son out.
@@anndeecosita3586 The point isn't the blame, it's that the money going to any of these people is simply pouring it into the dirt.
@@Dan16673Paying someone else's debt is a gift under tax law. There's plenty of case law on that matter. If they exceed the annual exclusion and don't file the Form 709 they'll have problems.
I am a former IRS Revenue Officer, and now an Enrolled Agent primarily in the tax resolution business.
If I closed your IRS case with a continous wage levy, there was no negotiation. You failed and I had to take a draconian enforcement action.
If you then failed to file after that - the IRS may very well be looking at a criminal referral. File and pay; file and pay.
By law, the IRS can collect taxes for 10 years after the tax is assessed. The IRS lien attaches to any property the son owns today and comes to own in the future -generally that 10 years.
Dad ran a responsible business and earned wealth, but has enabled his son to be a screw up. Anyone that has the audacity for their “share” of the parent’s estate before there is an estate is a screw up.
Cut the umbilical cord. It’s time for the son to stand on his own.
Say no. Talk over his concerns with an estate planning attorney so this 40 year old child does not squander any more. He already ruined the labor of his father’s career…
Well said. Thank you for your expertise. This is a grown man who screwed up and no parent should have to pay the price for his...stupidity?....hubris?...Mooch?
Unless of course you’re a Democrat or celebrity. Then you can owe millions in taxes and never suffer consequences. Don’t deny it.
@barbararepko4824
Westley Snipes went to jail. Steve Harvey almost landed in jail. His accountant did not send his checks to the IRS.
The only one who can get away with tax evasion, is Hunter Biden.
George Kamel would say that he got his retirement "decapitated"!
The son didn't want dad's opinion BEFORE all this happened, but as soon as he's in trouble, he calls daddy. What a bum!
Mom and dad are part of the problem. They have been his safety net for his entire adult life multiple times. He's never learned to be responsible.
This son has a long history of behavioral issues, which often suggests there was stuff going on in the home. Whether there was or not, how do you hand a business over to someone who has such a history? Sounds like the son isn't the only one with a long history of bad decisions.
If he tackles it on his own, his habits will change going forward (hopefully). If you bail him out, he won't learn anything and will repeat the habits and/or choices that got him in this mess in the first place.
Do NOT bail your son out. No. No. No. No.
He's like this because mommy and daddy always bailed him out. Leave his inheritance to his daughter and don't give him a penny. Let him deal with the results of his own actions so he can mature.
I didn't have tax debt, but my parents bailed me out on other debt. I regret that because I didn't learn to control my money until I went bankrupt at 40. If I had gone bankrupt at 25 I would have had a lot more time to recover.
He needs to let his son grow up! Adults don't ask their parents to bail them out over & over but it sounds like they never allowed him to grow up!
This whole episode could've been about my family members. The business, the tax debt, etc. Gives me chills. I feel for what this dad & mom are going through.
It could be my family too.
Leave it to your grand daughter. He’s has to get out of his mess
They should have gave up on this kid years ago. He’s a complete failure and wants to be bailed out. Take responsibility.
It is "should have given up."
Let him feel it. Stop saving him from the consequences of the mess he’s created.
This is an excellent call for all of the young guys out there listening. This is what happens if you choose to have children and you don’t tell them no. You will be bailing them out for the rest of your life. Don’t be this guy.
The son knows he has an inheritance coming, so he is essentially pre-inheriting his share by demanding constant bailouts. The parents may need those funds in their later years, so how can they justify continuing to fund their son's bad finances?
What concerns me is that the dad said his son got heated when the dad tried to find out what was really going on. I'd be afraid the son might try to hurry along getting his inheritance. I actually wonder if the son has a gambling problem. I'd change the will immediately and tell the son he already received his inheritance. Not having that safety net might grow him up.
Once I heard I heard he would blow up on us and wouldn’t talk to us about it, I said to myself he would be on his own going forward and would not get a dime from me.
Jade absolutely nails it at the 6:00 mark.
Kinda funny when you owe the IRS money they add on fees and interest. When they owe you throughout the year they'll pay you to the penny and no more whenever they get around to it.
Who's your daddy? 😁
Right?! Never thought of it like that 🤦🏾♀️
Income tax means the income went through your hands. Pay as you go.
The IRS pays interest on refunds under certain conditions. If you amend last years return, and are owed a refund, they pay interest. If you file in February and your refund is delayed until, say July, you get interest.
As long as it’s to the penny I’m fine. I’m debt free and not paycheck to paycheck.
Get refund every March no problem.
@@blackworldtraveler3711
I usually don’t even file until the end of March at the earliest because half of the time I owe.
Ya, I think he won't learn. Don't bail him out and let him figure things out.
The day i finally grew up was the day my family cut me off due to my behavior. It was very hard for them but necessary.
You’ve trained him to learn that you will bail him out every time, why would he think anything else? He’s been coddled all his life by the parents, he can’t succeed until he’s allowed to fail. He’ll never learn his lessons if you don’t allow him to fail and pick himself up ON HIS OWN! I did this with my children after my parents handed me everything in life, I wanted them to be given the opportunity to do what I was never able to do with my parents. The answer is “NO”.
Sounds like the kid finally needs to learn a lesson...get on a payment plan with the IRS
I wish he was my dad. I would call him every day and sing his praises if he were my dad.
I am glad my parents were poor. I could NEVER depend on them to bail me out of anything. But, IMHO, these parents are/have always using/used MONEY as a way of tethering their children to them. I only knew my Dad had a will when he died and an attorney contacted us. Maybe if the son wasn’t so aware of what the parents were planning to gift, he would live a life that didn’t depend on it
In this situation, I would not bail him out. I might be willing to help him walk through it, but I would absolutely not bail him out. Also, given that he mention "his share" of the inheritance, his intentions are made clear. He does not intend to change his ways, and if you leave that property or money to him he will use it to bail himself out in the future. He doesn't respect that gift. I would change the will. I can't tell you exactly what to do, but maybe consider leaving it to the grand daughter, or possibly just keeping it in trust (if possible) with the caveat that he can take ownership IF and ONLY IF he has gotten his act together by that time. Tough love is what is needed here to steer him in the right direction towards ownership of his own life and his own mistakes.
4:35 not "been" stupid... IS stupid would be a more appropriate answer... I wouldn't bail him out.
No
A resounding No!
$200,000 [if that turns out to be accurate] is about 10% of his parents net worth. From their perspective, it is empirically feasible to liquidate $200K and not have it be a major impact on their lives, Certainly, I would never go over 10% of net worth for such a thing. That's my personal rule. But, the flip side is he will do this again. Wash, rinse, spin. Same old same old. He'll be back, hat in hand, in a few years asking for the umpteenth bail out. I would not do it.
I was also thinking of Jade's suggestion!
Horrible!!! Shame on their son!
I can help. His son should change his entity to avoid harsher late penalties. Then hire full service payroll to avoid payroll penalties. Then offer and compromise with the IRS
I'm making this comment before I hear Dave's recommendation. But this is my recommendation. Don't pay off the debt, don't leave him a share of your estate to him. Redo your will to put his share of the estate in trust for the GRAND DAUGHTER, maybe providing some monthly stipend when she turns 18 or 21 until she's 35. Then pay out to her.
I say this, so that her mother or father or both do not guilt her out of her inheritance.
Mrs Warshaw and Mr Ramsey are so right.
Do whatever you want. No need to call for advice. I'm sure you know what to do. If you broke this cycle long ago, your grown son would not be messing up continuously and returning for bailout over and over.
When the IRS comes and gets his ass- then he realized what the deal is. A 40 year old man? and you are bailing him out. Hell no!
YOUR SON NEEDS TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBITY FOR HIS ACTIONS I WOULDN'T LEAVE NOTHING TO HIM AT ALL BECAUSE HE LEARNS TO GROW UP
Hey, dad, if you're always going to be right there bailing out your son, why should he ever be expected to pay his own way? He started this pattern of behavior more than 20 years ago when he was still in high school. You're enabling him to act irresponsibly and as long as you keep doing it, he'll keep expecting you to do it. The dad should listen to his gut and tell his son to grow up and start paying his tax bills because what he is doing right now isn't working and if it continues it is only going to get worse.
a child in an adult body but can't manage his life... mommy and daddy have silverspoon fed this boy and he doesn't know how to stand on his two feet, they've given him everything, why should he work or take anything serious?!
Id worry that since the son is talking about inheritance Id get worried hed off his parents for the money..
He will bail him out then also leave him the house. When the dad said “he loves this house”. No he doesn’t. He will sell it before you are in the ground and move back to LA.
I have a sister just like this, although the numbers are smaller. Can't count the number of times my folks have bailed her out of trouble. It's as much their fault as it is hers.
Hear that, I have a SIL who my in-laws have continued to support at the age of 42, she’s a junkie.
This dad loves his son but man, he's been bailing him out his entire life. He needs to let him figure this out. He talks about his son not being able to figure this mess out like he's 7 years old. He's a grown man and I know it's difficult but you'll be doing this until the day you die if you keep bailing him out. Some people are okay with that.
That isnt love. To enable someone in such a toxic way. Not even close.
Jeff so sad but he’s a grown man and it’s up to him to take care of it. I can’t imagine asking my parents for my inheritance ( that’s in the Bible) Co dependency is a thing you don’t need to rescuer him, he needs to save himself it’s called tough love.
My kids are 18 One works at Chick-fil-A and we filed taxes together. We use h&R block online. We don't make that much money.
"There is nothing to learn from a second kick of the mule." The son wasn't paying attention when he got kicked the first time.
No, no, and no. He knows all about taxes, he just doesn't want to pay them. Don't give him any money. He's just going to keep asking you for more. Tell him to go out in the world and grow up. It's about time. And talk to a really estate attorney. Any money you leave him, he'll lose it.
No matter what the dad chooses, his relationship with his son is going to be strained. Either Son is mad at Dad for not helping out, or dad is mad for helping son AGAIN and Son still doesn't learn his lesson.
@ColinJ388 - Exactly!
Sometimes you have to face the fact that the son you always dreamed of having did not turn out the way you hoped, and it becomes time to mourn and grieve, and let them go their own way. It's time to refocus resources and attention to the family members who are responsible, loving, and perhaps not male but who can preserve and grow a family legacy into the future.
Tough to accept but so true!
Time for some tough love I'd say. He made a mess of it once through ignorance - that's somewhat forgivable. I've known other folk that got messed up with being 1099'd. The second time is all on him, he's made a bigger mess and he can't play the "I didn't understand what I was getting into" card this time. Sounds like he's got a long history of messing up and getting bailed out and it's a worse mess every time. I feel for him but he's got to grow up.
You don't get $200k in IRS debt by not paying taxes for 1 year, unless the son was making $400k+ they didn't file taxes for several years for this to happen.
Our 20 year old daughter is self employed. She started filing and paying at age 18. No excuse for this child adult
Dad - stop being an enabler!!! NO MORE BAILOUTS!!! Why would you give your business to a son who has never demonstrated maturity or the ability to handle money??? Baffling.
mom and dad are enablers.
Not even Optima Tax Relief can save him.
The answer is, Call the IRS and have them garnish his pay and freeze his accounts.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. How many times do you we need to say it? This is one of those times someone needs to learn the hard way. Dad tried to help the easy way. Now it's time to learn the hard way.
that sucks, that father sounds so understanding and well intentioned.
Good problem-description by this caller.
Sadly, these parents are going to bail out the son again and again and again until they’re all pauperized. This kid has learned nothing the parents haven’t learned anything much either.
Had relatives before screwup and parents bailed them out. Problem is, it was multiple times for same reasons and cash injection from parents just enabled /continued problem.
Love the comment, let him take his own responsibility for not paying his taxes. He makes $75k + bonuses
That's what happen when Daddy always saves the time..
Most important thing to the father right now is maintaining his relationship with his granddaughter. Of course he doesn’t want to bail him out but granddaughter is the pawn.
Even if you did not know you were paid as a contractor, a salaried employee has to reconcile their taxes every year.
Exactly what I want in an insurance agent - inept, even corrupt in financial management. /s
He should’ve said no a long time ago
Son needs some very tough love. Has no idea what reality is, dad has always been there to get him out of trouble.
Do your child a favour and let him clean up his own mess.
I said aloud, leave it in a trust for the granddaughter. Then Dave said it👏🏾😂
He’s son has never had to be responsible. That’s his problem. As much as it hurts, don’t enable him for one more day. The parents realize he’s a f up. What they don’t realize is that he’s never going to change.
He’s been a piece of shit most of his life, and the dad saying he thinks his idea is still a good idea. Tht tells u right there tht the parents just enable him even to this day. Taking care of a grown man who shd take responsibility for his own mistake. But u can tell the dad will still help him from how he’s talking.
Lol the way dave cut him off
Stop enabling this adult, he will never learn if he has no consequences to his actions!
Set up the estate so that he only gets enough recurring pmts for his basic necessities You have to treat people like this no different than if they were addicting to drugs or alcohol. They just can’t be trusted with an extra money they are given because you know what they will do with it.
Then set up recurring disbursements for his granddaughter as well. Don’t make the daughter the executor of the entire estate because that will drive a wedge between them and put unnecessary stress on her. Make an unrelated third-party the executor that the son cannot emotionally blackmail.
Mine has until age 25 to figure it out cause I’m not bailing her out after that. So I told her take advantage of free rent, no bills, etc until age 25. If she’s smart she’ll save as much as she can OR graduate with one useful degree. After age 25 I’m not doing no more bail outs and I will charge her bills(income based) if she decides to stay with me. 💡
Sounds like a daddy’s girl 😂
He probably bragged about how he doesn't pay taxes. I was employed the same way in the 90s and 2000s and wasn't knowledgeable about taxes, either, so I looked it up. He blamed it on the employer when it was his lack of responsibility. Don't bail him out.
Yeah, why wouldn't you question when your paycheck isn't reduced by any taxes? Wouldn't you question it at all, or hear about people filing taxes and catch on eventually?
I'm with you, he knew and kept doing it year after year.
Shouldn’t he have noticed when he got a 1099 instead of W2. The first time I received a 1099 I went to talk to a tax preparer. Also I suspect he wasn’t filing at all because my friend did some work for her mom’s business and didn’t know her mom submitted a 1099 on her. Next thing she and her husband got a demand letter from the IRS.
Actually, if an employer is paying someone as a 1099 but treating them as an employee (set schedule, dut
Dad is a FOOL!!!
Yes, No is the answer. Bailing out has not helped it is hurting him. He needs to be a grown man and stop hurting his parents because he is selfish
If they clean up his mess, he will learn nothing. He didn’t learn the first time when they bail him out with the music job fiasco. So why would he learn now…
This man sounds like a good father but needs to maybe let him work this out by himself… God help them…
I wouldn’t bail him out, and I’d go even further and consider not leaving him any money from the estate, or at least very limited amounts, and leave most of it in a trust for the grandkid
How can you not know anything about paying taxes??
You aren't required to give him anything when you pass away. You can skip him and give it to the granddaughter instead. Tell him up front you're not going to let him continue to waste what you intended to give to him AND her and you're taking steps to save it FOR her since he won't. Then let him deal with the IRS, even up to and including going to prison if that's what it takes. The gravy train has to stop.
Wow this would no't make clients feel comfortable using his company. Because, if he does not pay his taxes how can clients be confidant he will send their payments in.
They never taught him financial responsibility nor does he apoear to want to learn from his mistakes. If, they helped him it should be with the caveat that he take Dave's class.
His parents are his issue, they pay it off and he will be there again in another 5-10 years. There is no way he didn't know that he was that far in with the IRS, he knew he needed to file. This is not a tax mistake, this is just not paying taxes.