your videos are improving the lives and wellbeing of hundreds of thousands of people. it cannot be overstated how important of a person you are, and how needed your insight and knowledge is. thank you from all of us.
Summary of the process: 1. Notice and Name Notice how you thinking Write your thoughts, ask a friend for help, do it with your therapist help 2. Check for distortios Notice your distorted thinking patterns Look for your "always, never, should, shouldn't" and your assumptions 3. Explore the benefits of this thoughts ¿Why this is confortable in the short term? 4. Challenge the thought 4.1. ¿What a rational friend/family member whould say if you tell them this thouhgts? 4.2. ¿What you'd tell them to help if they had this thought? ¿What other perspectives are there? 4.3. Reframing 4.4. Look for exceptions ¿Is your thinking wrong or posibly false? 4.5. Try to see both sides 4.6. Watch for extreme wording, avoid the "never, always" and use precise words instead 4.7. Try thinking the opposite 4.8. How your life would be different if you stop beliving that thought 5. Choose Choose the better option for you You can do it, good luck!
I actually liked myself better when I realised that my brain is trying to help- in twisted ways but that's what is available because I'm not doing anything. Thank you my brain but I'll take over from here. Thank you Emma for sharing this 🌹
I'm 47 and my whole life my distorted thinking has been to analyze everything people say and anything I precieved that could be a potential future conflict, catrastropise, play out all the potential arguments and mentality prepare myself for the worst of what I thought would come. 99.9999% of the time those interactions never happened. I realized just today 2023-10-01 that I do that because growing up my mom, a stay at home partner with low self esteem, and her partner, an uneducated promiscuous alcoholic, would have screaming arguments all night when he would come home from being out drinking. Looking back i see my 45ish years of distorted thinking has been to come up with ways, arguments, ideas, to stop their fighting, to "silence the lambs so to speak", from the age of two until 18 when I left for the Navy. You have helped me come to this realization, now I can close the door on those arguments from my childhood, and let this exhaustive paranoid happiness draining depression inducing way of thinking go. Tysm
“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.”some of us we see failing as failure. Have a delightful day sharing some positivity to your side
Totally! I find that recognizing our distortions is the first step, then it's important to learn to reframe our thinking and/or replace our thoughts with more useful/realistic thoughts.
We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Self-compassion is very tricky to balance... and we are either overdoing it... why-do-bad-things-always-happen-to-me ... or, way underdoing it... I-always-mess-things-up. But if we can hit the right spot, it brings confidence and the right attitude towards life.
I've recently been struggling with anxiety, when it reaches its peak it can be genuinely terrifying. Especially if you can't make sense of what's happening or how to pull yourself out of it. Your videos have been life changing, I've needed them a lot this past few months. Thank you for doing this, I would be in a very different place without them!
I’m at a point in my life where it’s very easy to devalue my hopeful thoughts, but incredibly difficult to not put value on my negative responses. This channel is helping me to find a balance
Hi , i'm a girl adolescens . I'm was born and raised in a developing contries in Asia where no one know about eating disorder or despression. In my community there are liite concern overthe eating disorder and mental health. Even the doctor here don't know about eating disorder as well as my family. Well, I'm struggle with alone by myself, and I see that this video is significantly helpful . Thanks for great content and knowledge
Thank you doctor. . . . . The 10 cognitive distortions. All or Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black and white terms, seeing things as either perfect or a total failure. *Hopelessness and sadness. Overgeneralizing: Making broad conclusions based on a single event, often using words like “always” or “never.” *Despair and frustration. Black and White Thinking: Seeing situations or people in extremes, without recognizing the nuances. *Anger and discouragement. Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking or feeling about you, often leading to self-doubt. *Insecurity and anxiety. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst possible outcome and believing it is the most likely scenario. *Fear and hopelessness. Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that your feelings reflect reality, leading to distorted interpretations of situations. *Shame and self-doubt. Labeling: Assigning a negative label to yourself or others based on behaviors or mistakes. *Defeat and hopelessness. Mental Filtering: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positives. *Depression and negativity. Personalization: Believing that everything others do is a direct reflection on you, taking things personally. * Guilt and overwhelm. Unreal Ideal: Comparing yourself to others, particularly through social media, and feeling inadequate as a result. *Shame and inadequacy. ___________________________________ Challenging cognitive disortions. -Distorted thoughts may provide immediate comfort, but they hinder personal growth and happiness in the long run. (It's called secondary gain) Step 1: Describe these secondary gains you get from the distorted thinking. (think about a recent time you got really emotional) Identify how you feel: Step 2: Notice-and-Name: write down how you're thinking about a situation. And name the cognitive distortion. Step 3: Explore what "benifit" you get from the thought. Explain the reward. Step 4: Challenge the thought: // 1 - If you told a friend of family what they would tell you about this thought?. // 2 - are there other ways of seeing this problem?. // 3 - reframe the thought which means look at the problem from a different perspective. // 4 - look at exceptions for this thought is it partially wrong, or is your way of thinking possibly false in at least one situation? // 5 - see both sides of the situation. people are usually a mixture of good and bad, stuations have pros and cons // 6 - can you be more precise?. // 7 - try thinking of the opposite for a second, what action would that motivate if you did believe the opposite?. // 8 - what would your life be different if you stopped believing thath thought?. Step 5: Choose: from all of the thoughts you had answered from the thought challenge which one that you would choose and do differently?
I want to go write everything down about this. You don't know how much your video suggestions are helping. I have this huge tiger to fight- cancer, and trying to manage my anxiety is very difficult. Not only do your videos offer techniques to decrease your anxiety, but your voice also is also so calming that sometimes I just listen because it decreases the anxiety; Do you have a book out? BTW I loved that spot where your hair was curly, I loved it!!
I very much often suffer from jealousy in my relationships and have sick fantasies of my boyfriend betraying me when he goes to the bathroom. Since I start watching your videos you helped me calm myself and believing in me that I can change my thinking.. thank you.
For me I notice myself using Black and White thinking, Mind reading, and Personalization when it comes to cognitive distortion thinking. For black and white thinking this helps me avoid doing work or putting effort into doing anything too "hard". For mind reading there could be many reasons but mainly I think it'll help me feel more in control or to make sure I don't bother anyone as I wouldn't anyone to bother me. And for the last one, Personalization I feel like this is something I've gained in my childhood but I think the benefit for me is that I can feel in control because now I can do something to say sorry to the person I've "hurt". Also having that to use if I ever need their help, like I would want them to do the same thing I did for them. That's all the what I think is my benefit when it comes to the type of cognitive distortions I use.
The 'thinking the opposite' exercise helped me re-frame how I see myself after some traumatic experiences. I looked on thesaurus for all the words that are the opposite of how I feel and think. I'm going to write these dozens of words on a white board, posters, and create phrases for myself to say throughout the day. So instead of thinking I'm paralyzed, weakened, and helpless, I'm now robust, able, whole, effective, mighty, masterly, adept, forceful, important, vital, energized, fortified, strengthened, emboldened, stable, significant, capable, and renewed as a result of the experiences I went through.
I thank God for using you and your channel to help people facing such issues of mental struggles 😊. More power to you, your channel, your family and your career. The Lord bless you in everything. ❤ 🙌 To God be all the glory! ☝️
Amazing information. Everything you said makes sense, and was simply worded and has the possibility and opportunity of actually working for someone who has never experienced therapy. Thank you so much for providing these videos for people like us who have gone through things and for helping those who maybe cannot afford a therapist. God bless you.
One of the secondary benefits is that is lessens my stress in the short-term by giving the burden of performing the task to my future self to accomplish
This video has like all the answers lol! Questioning the secondary gain of my common distortions is the answer! Just understanding WHY I'm doing this, and what about it is so addictive is helping me adjust my thinking. My most common is catastrophrizing. Why i do it is partly because I'm always thinking of creative imaginative things, being an artist. Maybe reality is pretty mundane and isn't always taking a turn for the worse. Secondly, it helps me feel more prepared to avoid hurt feelings or possible overwhelm of being caught off guard.
I had to think really, really hard about this. I’m a master catastrophyser… especially when I’m in a car, when someone else is driving, I also have a driving anxiety myself, among other anxieties. I had a nasty car accident when I was a teenager and my mother fell out behind the wheel. Later when I had my drivers license, I crashed when my car’s break was flat on the floor and the car rolled over. Now I think I catastropise when I’m a passenger, to be alert enough to be able to take action if needed. Just like with my mom, when I grabbed the wheel and saved us from being overrun by a truck. It’s difficult for me to replace it for a positive thought, because I learned that people as well as vehicles can fall out in traffic. But I’m working on it and it is helpful. Thank you so much!! 💞
Filtering leaves me in a position of victimhood that decreases my ability to do what is in my control. It also helps me make sense of something that happened that is scary to me. It helps me justify that the world is a scary place that requires I be constantly on my guard. This includes not letting go of something that happened 25 years ago.
I still haven’t seen a therapist, you have been so helpful. I finally feel peace and calm again, I am having anxiety and fears everyday, but I’m overcoming them and managing them. For those wondering the therapists are so impacted they aren’t getting back to me until like 2-4 weeks. It is what it is. I’m not going to wait and suffer, I’m going to continue tackling this blessing in disguise. It sucks in the short term, but overall this needed to happen to me. Yes I will still get connected with a therapist but I feel you help so much more.
When I was younger I would put my hopes up to high and when it didn't go to plan I would take it badly. One example I left a college course as I was struggling and I was with a group of students I didn't get on with. I decided to leave without thinking about the consequences and I was left with nothing. When I tried to go back to college but on a different course I was blocked in doing so. In the end just accepted this and took some temporary work. However this didn't go to plan so then decided to try to get back to college, doing same course as previous year and I convinced myself I wouldn't get in as to protect myself from being disappointed. I have done this loads of times since.
Sometimes thinking isn't enough. The thinking brain and the feeling brain arent connected so you have to connect them manually. Something I learned is that its important is if cognitive distortions doesn't work for you then you can try body work + cognitive distortions. In other words, instead of just thinking you can try to create a feeling in your body that you would feel if you believed the thought and then link it to the thought you're trying to reframe
Hey, my name is Javier Rodriguez and I love the way you talk in your videos, the house me a lot with my panic, attack, anxiety, or depression I have thank you
First off, you are awesome sauce. I have a monkey song on our website I wrote for a teen who habitually made herself angry. Once I pointed out her monkey thoughts, she laughed and said, "Now there's a song we need!" so we wrote one. Love all you do and want to hug you.
I tried distorted thinking while making a choice out of two universities to attend. I went out of my way to try to select the safest option, by pretending I am dumb. While doing this, in a few days, I actually felt that I was dumb and then was afraid to pick any one of the two as I starting thinking I would fail in either options. Thanks to videos like yours, I was able to identify that I was engaging in Cognitive distortion and have recovered from that phase significantly. ❤️ Please never stop making such videos 🙏
I love the videos and the way she explains things so pretty much anyone can understand the topic. It's also helpful to have these concepts broken into two videos, one discussing the definitions and one more practical on how to deal with those things. I have a lot of clients that suffer with anxiety, depression, poor stress management, and so on, and these CBT concepts are really helpful for them. 😃
I really thank you so much, I have a lot of depression and anxiety and I never let it affect my life as I continue to just have relationships, go to school, have a job, etc. But working through all the lies I tell myself over and over again repeatedly is super helpful. I know that my strong emotions do not define me and that my mind can create my worst reality for me but I don't have to let it control me. I have had therapy since middle school and I think working through workbooks for moods and watching therapy videos like yours and others will help me just continue to not let it define and control me.
Definitely use distortions as a way to avoid doing work. I'm in a 12 step recovery program which has been great but I realized that it's not a cure all and I'd like to get back into therapy! Your video's are great!! ♥️
I am going through severe depression and anxiety again for almost 2 years. I went to therapy with some EMDR and even with meds it didn't help much so today I start a new med and I am terrified of the side effects. My doctor doesn't believe that trauma stays with us and by using CBT then with medication it works. The majority of the time I don't want to try anymore. I am a Christian but I want to go home most of the time because I am too fearful to face the future and getting old and losing my mom and husband and being alone. I wish God would take all these fears away and cure me. He creates so many miracles for others and so many people that I know don't have severe depression or anxiety disorder and they can accept getting older and dying. I am 55 and feel done. Please pray for me. I haven't been able to work and starting effexor scares me. I wish that I didn't need meds.
mindreading- thinking that other people think i’m lower than them, that i’m not worthy enough of their contact (trying to read the minds of others helps me in identifying what all ways they judge me wrong and what i can do better- so i’m often in a struggle to explain or prove that i’m worthy of them) emotional reasoning- i think i feel something, so that must be true. I fuse my feelings with facts unreal ideal- i also compare myself in order to try to do things that others are doing, so that it makes me feel the same way it is doing to others. I don’t realise that it is distorted
Personalization : well it prevents me from opinions about me others tell me , i mean i criticize myself before others do it All or nothing thinking : It makes me feel free not to take risks and expect everything to go the way i want Catasrophizing : it helps me to predict the probable dangers in the future
I would love to know more about changing perspectives to more positives. I’ve learned so much about why we are negative and how to identify fallacies and the whole “tiger that isn’t there” and why it’s bad for our health, etc. thank you for explaining the HOW. I would love if more videos focused on that, and with more focus. Just knowing what I’m doing wrong doesn’t help me learn a foreign new solution. One dr said it’s like telling a caveman to go take a shower. You can’t say “get in and turn the water on” the caveman needs to be taught about the light switch, what the H and C mean, to actually wet his head, etc. so thank you for being one of the only videos I’ve found that starts to explain that part. So helpful
Thank you for this video! Some of my main distortions are catastrophizing, black & white thinking, labeling and comparing myself to others. I will update as I watch the video
My secondary gain is to stop thinking about how lonely I am. Another is to feel in control, I still couldn't figure out why I mental filter though, thanks doc
I discovered your channel when my anxiety reached its peak at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Just recently started watching your videos again. I was telling a friend yesterday, who is studying to be a psychologist, how you make therapy so accessible and easy to understand. Thank you.
I know I desparately want and need therapy, but I'm stuck! I can't tell my parents, they won't understand and make a big deal about it saying I'm not mentally ill. But you don't have to be mentally ill to get therapy. I'm stuck in a situation where I'm just about to turn 18 and need to start earning and being financially independent so I can get therapy, till then I'm just stuck with my confusion and frustration regarding myself. If I tell someone they don't understand, that's why therapy is important cause a therapist KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS. Also the school has made me so terribly mentally disturbed!! They're getting on my nerves!! I can't even do anything and then there's confusion regarding future, I'M GOING NUTS AND ALTHOUGH IT'S KINDA EMBARRASSING TO SAY BUT *HELP* PLEASE!!
THANK YOU for making this and your videos available for free on youtube.. This CBT explains so much about my life and your presentation skills are succinct, no- nonsense, friendly etc... thank you! Im very grateful.
Distorted thinking helps me to make sense of the things I don't understand is wrong with my relationships. Sometimes, I have a hard time remembering why I am angry at people, I am forgetful. I let people use me, but I am mad with myself later about it. I then feel justified at being critical and aloof from people. I hate trying to coordinate activities with others. I feel like I always let them down, or screw things up with my procrastination.. I need people to help survive, and emotionally. I feel weird around them.
Cognitive distortions (reality twisting): 1. "All or nothing" thinking 2. Overgeneralizing 3. "Black and white" thinking 4. Mind reading 5. Catastrophizing 6. Emotional reasoning 7. Labeling 8. Mental filtering (minimise the good and maximise the bad) 9. Personalization 10. Unreal-ideal
So i recently found out i’m not the only one in my family with bad intrusive thoughts. but no one in my household gets it so that’s what really makes me stressed as well and scared. i know i’d never wanna hurt anyone or myself but i feel so guilty about it even though it’s not my fault. I’ve watched too much true crime stuff and scary movies 🤦🏽♀️ so i take the things i see and make up images and it’s super scary and then i remember the commercial “retrain your brain”
psychedelic is actually what kept me from being depressed for the past 7years,I was so Fucking depressed and got to a point of losing my life,but after I got introduced to a HealerMan who really has the best psychedelic,and all depression was no more,I feel so new and rebooted in my life right now...healermanchris on instagram you go check him out for his good stuffs
I recently got a new job in an industry Ive never worked in and really know nothing about. I have been having a hard time transitioning, every time I have to ask a co-worker or boss a question I think they must be annoyed with me or think I'm stupid, especially if I have to ask the same thing twice or need clarification. Well now I have to learn how to drive a forklift for the position and I am terrified! Everyone i work with has years some even decades of experience and even though they know I have never even seen one in person I feel like they expect me to pick it up immediately. They have given me some training on it now but I am still very nervous and uncomfortable. I have this overwhelming feeling that I am going to do something wrong or damage something, hurt myself or someone else or be fired... I know that I am catastrophizing and everyone is actually really nice so I'm sure they understand that I'm new and trying my best but I still just feel so anxious to the point i have a stomach ache almost everyday I go into work. Any advice?
I have heard about cognitive distortions a lot before not not thought about what purpose they are serving for me. Hopefully I can work on giving up the shorter term "reward" they bring to reach for my higher purpose and values.
I think I use negative thinking not just because I want to protect myself from being excited or getting my hopes up, but also because I'm worried about being embarrassed in front of my friends when I have to tell them "I didn't get the job" which is kind of ridiculous, they get it. But some part of me thinks I'm giving them evidence that I was stupid for getting so excited, and that they might start to ask themselves "I wonder if he prepared?" or "Well I bet he did this" or "He should have done that" And I feel like leading with negativity feels like I'm leading with humility, so that when I don't get the job, at least I demonstrated I wasn't fooling myself
For me saying to myself, when I'm calm, that I'm a priority a fool or a failure is liberating and motivating, because if I'm already a fool, there isn't a lot to loose, so I can boldly perceive my highest dreams and try as hard as I can, because if I fail, I wouldn't be surprised- that's me. My distortion thinking is to not trying hard - this way I could calm myself saying: I didn't achieve that just because I didn't put enough efforts (but I'm acctually scared to see that even the best efforts wouldn't be enough, which would lead to the fact that I'm a failure) I think that's is the consequence of so many people believing in me and describing me with great words. That makes me so scared that they could be wrong and I'll disappoint them..
It is frustrating. I've been there. I return to frustration even while working on it. And I keep going. I like thinking about it like plants in general, trees in particular. If I'm a seed and wish to be a whole giant tree, that's so overwhelming and daunting and seems impossible. Instead when I picture the seed cracking open the tiniest little bit, making that first move toward growth, I know it's manageable. A little water. A little time. A little rest. A little pushing. Then there's a sprout. A little more water, more time, more rest, more pushing... Then there's a root. And a leaf. And three leaves. And as the days of "little by little, bit by bit" go by, before long it's a sapling. Then it's maturing into an even fuller tree. It gets stronger ring by ring, layer by layer, every day. A little more water, a little more time, a little more rest, a little more pushing. Another ring. A stronger tree. It changes with the seasons. It can bend in the strongest winds. When resources fluctuate during droughts and floods, it survives. And when I get super discouraged and have fallen out of practise, it helps me to remember: The time is going to pass anyway. I can't push pause. I can't fast forward. The clock keeps going, no matter what I do. So I may as well do one thing. One little thing every day. And pat myself on the back, and say Thanks for that one little thing. You can do it, too. One single, manageable, bite-size thing. No need to compare its size to the size of any other action that you or anyone else has ever taken. Just do the bite-size thing. And every time you do, congratulate yourself. And keep going. Inside your seed is a whole, massive tree. You're so much stronger than you know. ✌️
I get seeing the world different. I choose to think negative so when it comes out the way I didn’t think that I’d be happy; sad to say it always comes out negative lol
We can do this ! ❤️😊💪🤗. See the best version of yourself it’s inside you . Ease the anxiety & depression by learning these videos . It’s possible to change . See the bright side of your amazing personality . Live your purpose
Secondary gain from one would be so Im not alone again. For another thought the secondary gain prevents me from possibly failing. So I don't try cause I don't want to fail. I feel like Im a failure already so not doing that one thing makes it so I don't feel more like a failure.
Although I really enjoy your courses and feel I am learning, " figureoutable ", is not a real word even though it sounds cool and quickly conveys a thought. Maybe it should be.
your videos are improving the lives and wellbeing of hundreds of thousands of people. it cannot be overstated how important of a person you are, and how needed your insight and knowledge is. thank you from all of us.
This channel is invaluable for people who can’t afford therapy and have no support system
Fully agree. I work at same facility and this is so helpful
Including me ❤️
Absolutely agree 😊
Yes God!!! Heaven sent because in these days mental health is everything ❤❤
Negative thinking is just an overprotective mode that needs to be switched off. It will make you stay in your comfort zone.
Wow yup!
I have this issues. Never had until my major depression
Swirched off, because you're a machine. Who can feel nothing.
I was going through all this until i was introduced to microdosing psychedelics by nexayo2629 on Instagram now im a whole different person
Great way to think about it. Have agoraphobia now realise it's just a protective mode. 👍
This is easily one of the most impactful UA-cam channels I've ever found. I adore how she explains things and the compassion with which she does so.
Summary of the process:
1. Notice and Name
Notice how you thinking
Write your thoughts, ask a friend for help, do it with your therapist help
2. Check for distortios
Notice your distorted thinking patterns
Look for your "always, never, should, shouldn't" and your assumptions
3. Explore the benefits of this thoughts
¿Why this is confortable in the short term?
4. Challenge the thought
4.1. ¿What a rational friend/family member whould say if you tell them this thouhgts?
4.2. ¿What you'd tell them to help if they had this thought? ¿What other perspectives are there?
4.3. Reframing
4.4. Look for exceptions ¿Is your thinking wrong or posibly false?
4.5. Try to see both sides
4.6. Watch for extreme wording, avoid the "never, always" and use precise words instead
4.7. Try thinking the opposite
4.8. How your life would be different if you stop beliving that thought
5. Choose
Choose the better option for you
You can do it, good luck!
This is helpful, thank you!
Thank you 😊
I actually liked myself better when I realised that my brain is trying to help- in twisted ways but that's what is available because I'm not doing anything. Thank you my brain but I'll take over from here. Thank you Emma for sharing this 🌹
I'm 47 and my whole life my distorted thinking has been to analyze everything people say and anything I precieved that could be a potential future conflict, catrastropise, play out all the potential arguments and mentality prepare myself for the worst of what I thought would come. 99.9999% of the time those interactions never happened. I realized just today 2023-10-01 that I do that because growing up my mom, a stay at home partner with low self esteem, and her partner, an uneducated promiscuous alcoholic, would have screaming arguments all night when he would come home from being out drinking. Looking back i see my 45ish years of distorted thinking has been to come up with ways, arguments, ideas, to stop their fighting, to "silence the lambs so to speak", from the age of two until 18 when I left for the Navy. You have helped me come to this realization, now I can close the door on those arguments from my childhood, and let this exhaustive paranoid happiness draining depression inducing way of thinking go. Tysm
I have seen so many channels on mental health, this is the best one ever - so much of science, knowledge, wisdom summarised
“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.”some of us we see failing as failure. Have a delightful day sharing some positivity to your side
TRUTH 👍💯
Totally! I find that recognizing our distortions is the first step, then it's important to learn to reframe our thinking and/or replace our thoughts with more useful/realistic thoughts.
We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Self-compassion is very tricky to balance... and we are either overdoing it... why-do-bad-things-always-happen-to-me ... or, way underdoing it... I-always-mess-things-up. But if we can hit the right spot, it brings confidence and the right attitude towards life.
That’s the sweet spot I need !
I've recently been struggling with anxiety, when it reaches its peak it can be genuinely terrifying. Especially if you can't make sense of what's happening or how to pull yourself out of it. Your videos have been life changing, I've needed them a lot this past few months. Thank you for doing this, I would be in a very different place without them!
Negative thinking gives me a short-term relief. Almost an agreeable side thought that gives a brief sense of comfort
I’m at a point in my life where it’s very easy to devalue my hopeful thoughts, but incredibly difficult to not put value on my negative responses. This channel is helping me to find a balance
Hi , i'm a girl adolescens . I'm was born and raised in a developing contries in Asia where no one know about eating disorder or despression. In my community there are liite concern overthe eating disorder and mental health. Even the doctor here don't know about eating disorder as well as my family. Well, I'm struggle with alone by myself, and I see that this video is significantly helpful . Thanks for great content and knowledge
What really helps me about your videos is narrating real life examples of individuals. Keep it up x
Thank you doctor.
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The 10 cognitive distortions.
All or Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black and white terms, seeing things as either perfect or a total failure.
*Hopelessness and sadness.
Overgeneralizing: Making broad conclusions based on a single event, often using words like “always” or “never.”
*Despair and frustration.
Black and White Thinking: Seeing situations or people in extremes, without recognizing the nuances.
*Anger and discouragement.
Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking or feeling about you, often leading to self-doubt.
*Insecurity and anxiety.
Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst possible outcome and believing it is the most likely scenario.
*Fear and hopelessness.
Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that your feelings reflect reality, leading to distorted interpretations of situations.
*Shame and self-doubt.
Labeling: Assigning a negative label to yourself or others based on behaviors or mistakes.
*Defeat and hopelessness.
Mental Filtering: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positives.
*Depression and negativity.
Personalization: Believing that everything others do is a direct reflection on you, taking things personally.
* Guilt and overwhelm.
Unreal Ideal: Comparing yourself to others, particularly through social media, and feeling inadequate as a result.
*Shame and inadequacy.
___________________________________
Challenging cognitive disortions.
-Distorted thoughts may provide immediate comfort, but they hinder personal growth and happiness in the long run. (It's called secondary gain)
Step 1: Describe these secondary gains you get from the distorted thinking. (think about a recent time you got really emotional)
Identify how you feel:
Step 2: Notice-and-Name: write down how you're thinking about a situation. And name the cognitive distortion.
Step 3: Explore what "benifit" you get from the thought. Explain the reward.
Step 4: Challenge the thought:
// 1 - If you told a friend of family what they would tell you about this thought?.
// 2 - are there other ways of seeing this problem?.
// 3 - reframe the thought which means look at the problem from a different perspective.
// 4 - look at exceptions for this thought is it partially wrong, or is your way of thinking possibly false in at least one situation?
// 5 - see both sides of the situation. people are usually a mixture of good and bad, stuations have pros and cons
// 6 - can you be more precise?.
// 7 - try thinking of the opposite for a second, what action would that motivate if you did believe the opposite?.
// 8 - what would your life be different if you stopped believing thath thought?.
Step 5: Choose: from all of the thoughts you had answered from the thought challenge which one that you would choose and do differently?
I avoided getting hurt by assuming the worst in a person. So when it happens im not disappointed
I want to go write everything down about this. You don't know how much your video suggestions are helping. I have this huge tiger to fight- cancer, and trying to manage my anxiety is very difficult. Not only do your videos offer techniques to decrease your anxiety, but your voice also is also so calming that sometimes I just listen because it decreases the anxiety; Do you have a book out? BTW I loved that spot where your hair was curly, I loved it!!
@Becky Look into Dr Joe Dispenza’s books about healing from cancer and other diseases.
I love you friend!
@@aaliyahali2206 Thank you!
@@KrisTheSlayer Many thanks for that. I love you too.
i hope you are keeping it up, i would suggest you to the cancer code by jason fung
I very much often suffer from jealousy in my relationships and have sick fantasies of my boyfriend betraying me when he goes to the bathroom.
Since I start watching your videos you helped me calm myself and believing in me that I can change my thinking.. thank you.
For me I notice myself using Black and White thinking, Mind reading, and Personalization when it comes to cognitive distortion thinking. For black and white thinking this helps me avoid doing work or putting effort into doing anything too "hard". For mind reading there could be many reasons but mainly I think it'll help me feel more in control or to make sure I don't bother anyone as I wouldn't anyone to bother me. And for the last one, Personalization I feel like this is something I've gained in my childhood but I think the benefit for me is that I can feel in control because now I can do something to say sorry to the person I've "hurt". Also having that to use if I ever need their help, like I would want them to do the same thing I did for them. That's all the what I think is my benefit when it comes to the type of cognitive distortions I use.
The 'thinking the opposite' exercise helped me re-frame how I see myself after some traumatic experiences. I looked on thesaurus for all the words that are the opposite of how I feel and think. I'm going to write these dozens of words on a white board, posters, and create phrases for myself to say throughout the day. So instead of thinking I'm paralyzed, weakened, and helpless, I'm now robust, able, whole, effective, mighty, masterly, adept, forceful, important, vital, energized, fortified, strengthened, emboldened, stable, significant, capable, and renewed as a result of the experiences I went through.
please continue this beautifull effort. this series is pure gold. Thank you Emma.
I thank God for using you and your channel to help people facing such issues of mental struggles 😊. More power to you, your channel, your family and your career. The Lord bless you in everything. ❤ 🙌
To God be all the glory! ☝️
Started at the intro and now I am here. Thank you! I need all of this. I will watch it again and again until I absorb ALL of it.
Amazing information. Everything you said makes sense, and was simply worded and has the possibility and opportunity of actually working for someone who has never experienced therapy. Thank you so much for providing these videos for people like us who have gone through things and for helping those who maybe cannot afford a therapist. God bless you.
One of the secondary benefits is that is lessens my stress in the short-term by giving the burden of performing the task to my future self to accomplish
You are so great at explaining things Emma. Thank you so much for all the work you are doing!
This video has like all the answers lol! Questioning the secondary gain of my common distortions is the answer! Just understanding WHY I'm doing this, and what about it is so addictive is helping me adjust my thinking. My most common is catastrophrizing. Why i do it is partly because I'm always thinking of creative imaginative things, being an artist. Maybe reality is pretty mundane and isn't always taking a turn for the worse. Secondly, it helps me feel more prepared to avoid hurt feelings or possible overwhelm of being caught off guard.
I had to think really, really hard about this. I’m a master catastrophyser… especially when I’m in a car, when someone else is driving, I also have a driving anxiety myself, among other anxieties. I had a nasty car accident when I was a teenager and my mother fell out behind the wheel. Later when I had my drivers license, I crashed when my car’s break was flat on the floor and the car rolled over. Now I think I catastropise when I’m a passenger, to be alert enough to be able to take action if needed. Just like with my mom, when I grabbed the wheel and saved us from being overrun by a truck. It’s difficult for me to replace it for a positive thought, because I learned that people as well as vehicles can fall out in traffic. But I’m working on it and it is helpful. Thank you so much!! 💞
Filtering leaves me in a position of victimhood that decreases my ability to do what is in my control. It also helps me make sense of something that happened that is scary to me. It helps me justify that the world is a scary place that requires I be constantly on my guard. This includes not letting go of something that happened 25 years ago.
Very good and high value help. Thank you ❤
It helps me escape the mental, physical, emotional uncomfortable effort and feelings
I still haven’t seen a therapist, you have been so helpful. I finally feel peace and calm again, I am having anxiety and fears everyday, but I’m overcoming them and managing them.
For those wondering the therapists are so impacted they aren’t getting back to me until like 2-4 weeks. It is what it is. I’m not going to wait and suffer, I’m going to continue tackling this blessing in disguise.
It sucks in the short term, but overall this needed to happen to me.
Yes I will still get connected with a therapist but I feel you help so much more.
When I was younger I would put my hopes up to high and when it didn't go to plan I would take it badly. One example I left a college course as I was struggling and I was with a group of students I didn't get on with. I decided to leave without thinking about the consequences and I was left with nothing. When I tried to go back to college but on a different course I was blocked in doing so. In the end just accepted this and took some temporary work. However this didn't go to plan so then decided to try to get back to college, doing same course as previous year and I convinced myself I wouldn't get in as to protect myself from being disappointed. I have done this loads of times since.
thanks for this: the first example of james, shows the universal human dilemma of face/avoid, face reality avoid reality.....
Sometimes thinking isn't enough. The thinking brain and the feeling brain arent connected so you have to connect them manually. Something I learned is that its important is if cognitive distortions doesn't work for you then you can try body work + cognitive distortions. In other words, instead of just thinking you can try to create a feeling in your body that you would feel if you believed the thought and then link it to the thought you're trying to reframe
Negative thinking is essential. As essential as positive thinking. It's the fertile ground in which roots of positivism grow.
Pay attention to your thoughts. Challenge them. Recript them and comment for future progress. Great tips. Thanks.
Hey, my name is Javier Rodriguez and I love the way you talk in your videos, the house me a lot with my panic, attack, anxiety, or depression I have thank you
Wow that example about work hits home. Not gaming but if I have like 2hrs or less before work I'm like nah time to relax before work.
First off, you are awesome sauce. I have a monkey song on our website I wrote for a teen who habitually made herself angry. Once I pointed out her monkey thoughts, she laughed and said, "Now there's a song we need!" so we wrote one. Love all you do and want to hug you.
I tried distorted thinking while making a choice out of two universities to attend. I went out of my way to try to select the safest option, by pretending I am dumb. While doing this, in a few days, I actually felt that I was dumb and then was afraid to pick any one of the two as I starting thinking I would fail in either options. Thanks to videos like yours, I was able to identify that I was engaging in Cognitive distortion and have recovered from that phase significantly. ❤️
Please never stop making such videos 🙏
You are changing the world with these videos. You and the holistic psychologist have changed my life.
I love the videos and the way she explains things so pretty much anyone can understand the topic. It's also helpful to have these concepts broken into two videos, one discussing the definitions and one more practical on how to deal with those things. I have a lot of clients that suffer with anxiety, depression, poor stress management, and so on, and these CBT concepts are really helpful for them. 😃
I really thank you so much, I have a lot of depression and anxiety and I never let it affect my life as I continue to just have relationships, go to school, have a job, etc. But working through all the lies I tell myself over and over again repeatedly is super helpful. I know that my strong emotions do not define me and that my mind can create my worst reality for me but I don't have to let it control me. I have had therapy since middle school and I think working through workbooks for moods and watching therapy videos like yours and others will help me just continue to not let it define and control me.
OMG I just watched part 1 earlier and now this! Thank you so much
Definitely use distortions as a way to avoid doing work. I'm in a 12 step recovery program which has been great but I realized that it's not a cure all and I'd like to get back into therapy! Your video's are great!! ♥️
I am going through severe depression and anxiety again for almost 2 years. I went to therapy with some EMDR and even with meds it didn't help much so today I start a new med and I am terrified of the side effects. My doctor doesn't believe that trauma stays with us and by using CBT then with medication it works. The majority of the time I don't want to try anymore. I am a Christian but I want to go home most of the time because I am too fearful to face the future and getting old and losing my mom and husband and being alone. I wish God would take all these fears away and cure me. He creates so many miracles for others and so many people that I know don't have severe depression or anxiety disorder and they can accept getting older and dying. I am 55 and feel done. Please pray for me. I haven't been able to work and starting effexor scares me. I wish that I didn't need meds.
mindreading- thinking that other people think i’m lower than them, that i’m not worthy enough of their contact
(trying to read the minds of others helps me in identifying what all ways they judge me wrong and what i can do better- so i’m often in a struggle to explain or prove that i’m worthy of them)
emotional reasoning- i think i feel something, so that must be true. I fuse my feelings with facts
unreal ideal- i also compare myself in order to try to do things that others are doing, so that it makes me feel the same way it is doing to others. I don’t realise that it is distorted
Ma'am, you are very effective and efficient in showing me way out of my unhelpful mind programming/ schemas.
Personalization : well it prevents me from opinions about me others tell me , i mean i criticize myself before others do it
All or nothing thinking : It makes me feel free not to take risks and expect everything to go the way i want
Catasrophizing : it helps me to predict the probable dangers in the future
The music is even calming
I would love to know more about changing perspectives to more positives. I’ve learned so much about why we are negative and how to identify fallacies and the whole “tiger that isn’t there” and why it’s bad for our health, etc. thank you for explaining the HOW. I would love if more videos focused on that, and with more focus. Just knowing what I’m doing wrong doesn’t help me learn a foreign new solution. One dr said it’s like telling a caveman to go take a shower. You can’t say “get in and turn the water on” the caveman needs to be taught about the light switch, what the H and C mean, to actually wet his head, etc. so thank you for being one of the only videos I’ve found that starts to explain that part. So helpful
I get comfort and control from negative thinking. I know what to expect.
Thank you for this video!
Some of my main distortions are catastrophizing, black & white thinking, labeling and comparing myself to others.
I will update as I watch the video
Many thanks to you. You are a Daughters of Our Lord. Of that, I have no doubt.
Thank you. It's wonderful how your careful wording helps me understand. I appreciate the amount of work you seem to have put in these videos.
I am so very thankful for what you are doing. You are saving people’s lives.
Nice Video, teaching nice slow steady step by step incremental overall improvement -- to change oneself.. Thank You Emma Madam 👌✌️
I love you emma so much for your wonderful teaching and skills
Well I'm glad James now lives up to your standards 😊
My secondary gain is to stop thinking about how lonely I am. Another is to feel in control, I still couldn't figure out why I mental filter though, thanks doc
If you continue making such videos, I think you'll become a star of UA-cam! ❤️
Too late, she already is!
Short term avoidance leads to long term suffering! Luv it
I discovered your channel when my anxiety reached its peak at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Just recently started watching your videos again. I was telling a friend yesterday, who is studying to be a psychologist, how you make therapy so accessible and easy to understand. Thank you.
I know I desparately want and need therapy, but I'm stuck! I can't tell my parents, they won't understand and make a big deal about it saying I'm not mentally ill. But you don't have to be mentally ill to get therapy. I'm stuck in a situation where I'm just about to turn 18 and need to start earning and being financially independent so I can get therapy, till then I'm just stuck with my confusion and frustration regarding myself. If I tell someone they don't understand, that's why therapy is important cause a therapist KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS. Also the school has made me so terribly mentally disturbed!! They're getting on my nerves!! I can't even do anything and then there's confusion regarding future, I'M GOING NUTS AND ALTHOUGH IT'S KINDA EMBARRASSING TO SAY BUT *HELP* PLEASE!!
So clear, concise, you’ve helped me so much to see myself clearer. Thank you! I’ve been watching your videos throughout the year.
THANK YOU for making this and your videos available for free on youtube.. This CBT explains so much about my life and your presentation skills are succinct, no- nonsense, friendly etc... thank you! Im very grateful.
Distorted thinking helps me to make sense of the things I don't understand is wrong with my relationships. Sometimes, I have a hard time remembering why I am angry at people, I am forgetful. I let people use me, but I am mad with myself later about it. I then feel justified at being critical and aloof from people. I hate trying to coordinate activities with others. I feel like I always let them down, or screw things up with my procrastination.. I need people to help survive, and emotionally. I feel weird around them.
I 💗 your channel. I need to watch these more than I do gaming videos apparently as well, that one hit home pretty hard. 🤣👍 Thank you!
I get yes and no answers, to make my decision making easier, but it most of the time leads me to living in a box, and going in circles.
Or have no expectations and do your very best, and be happy with the results, either way, because even when we fail we can learn from the experience.
Super helpful!! Thank you!!
It's very painful to get your hopes up. When it doesn't 't happen, it's a much more painful loss.
Cognitive distortions (reality twisting):
1. "All or nothing" thinking
2. Overgeneralizing
3. "Black and white" thinking
4. Mind reading
5. Catastrophizing
6. Emotional reasoning
7. Labeling
8. Mental filtering (minimise the good and maximise the bad)
9. Personalization
10. Unreal-ideal
So i recently found out i’m not the only one in my family with bad intrusive thoughts. but no one in my household gets it so that’s what really makes me stressed as well and scared. i know i’d never wanna hurt anyone or myself but i feel so guilty about it even though it’s not my fault. I’ve watched too much true crime stuff and scary movies 🤦🏽♀️ so i take the things i see and make up images and it’s super scary and then i remember the commercial “retrain your brain”
psychedelic is actually what kept me from being depressed for the past 7years,I was so Fucking depressed and got to a point of losing my life,but after I got introduced to a HealerMan who really has the best psychedelic,and all depression was no more,I feel so new and rebooted in my life right now...healermanchris on instagram you go check him out for his good stuffs
@@ngozikanneochie5762 !!💔
Try praying when the thoughts come. Like a Hail Mary or Our Father. God Bless you.
I recently got a new job in an industry Ive never worked in and really know nothing about. I have been having a hard time transitioning, every time I have to ask a co-worker or boss a question I think they must be annoyed with me or think I'm stupid, especially if I have to ask the same thing twice or need clarification. Well now I have to learn how to drive a forklift for the position and I am terrified! Everyone i work with has years some even decades of experience and even though they know I have never even seen one in person I feel like they expect me to pick it up immediately. They have given me some training on it now but I am still very nervous and uncomfortable. I have this overwhelming feeling that I am going to do something wrong or damage something, hurt myself or someone else or be fired... I know that I am catastrophizing and everyone is actually really nice so I'm sure they understand that I'm new and trying my best but I still just feel so anxious to the point i have a stomach ache almost everyday I go into work. Any advice?
Thank you. I shall try.
How to get over a phobia,,,excellent work on your side
Thankyou so much for this.....the impact of your videos is incredible
Today i felt a huge positive change in a way i AM thinking. Thanks a lot for everything.😀🌹👍
I have heard about cognitive distortions a lot before not not thought about what purpose they are serving for me. Hopefully I can work on giving up the shorter term "reward" they bring to reach for my higher purpose and values.
I think I use negative thinking not just because I want to protect myself from being excited or getting my hopes up, but also because I'm worried about being embarrassed in front of my friends when I have to tell them "I didn't get the job" which is kind of ridiculous, they get it. But some part of me thinks I'm giving them evidence that I was stupid for getting so excited, and that they might start to ask themselves "I wonder if he prepared?" or "Well I bet he did this" or "He should have done that" And I feel like leading with negativity feels like I'm leading with humility, so that when I don't get the job, at least I demonstrated I wasn't fooling myself
Going through mental health problems like this. Thanks 🙏
For me saying to myself, when I'm calm, that I'm a priority a fool or a failure is liberating and motivating, because if I'm already a fool, there isn't a lot to loose, so I can boldly perceive my highest dreams and try as hard as I can, because if I fail, I wouldn't be surprised- that's me.
My distortion thinking is to not trying hard - this way I could calm myself saying: I didn't achieve that just because I didn't put enough efforts (but I'm acctually scared to see that even the best efforts wouldn't be enough, which would lead to the fact that I'm a failure)
I think that's is the consequence of so many people believing in me and describing me with great words. That makes me so scared that they could be wrong and I'll disappoint them..
Your voice is also healing mam
These are helping me out so much ! Giving me encouragement! Wow . Thank you so much
8:12
9:30
12:04 I really can change how I feel.
Thanks for this amazing video. In our country, there isn't much therapy books to know about this kind of knowledge, which I needed most.
Thank you so much for all your help. I don't know if you'll get to read this but you have helped me lots.
One of your videos really
Helped me yesterday.
I love you for it. Thank you!
All of your videos are great!! Thank you.
It's so frustrating seeing I agreee 100% with what you said and not being able to do anything about it.
It is frustrating. I've been there. I return to frustration even while working on it. And I keep going.
I like thinking about it like plants in general, trees in particular.
If I'm a seed and wish to be a whole giant tree, that's so overwhelming and daunting and seems impossible.
Instead when I picture the seed cracking open the tiniest little bit, making that first move toward growth, I know it's manageable.
A little water. A little time. A little rest. A little pushing.
Then there's a sprout.
A little more water, more time, more rest, more pushing...
Then there's a root.
And a leaf.
And three leaves.
And as the days of "little by little, bit by bit" go by, before long it's a sapling.
Then it's maturing into an even fuller tree.
It gets stronger ring by ring, layer by layer, every day.
A little more water, a little more time, a little more rest, a little more pushing.
Another ring.
A stronger tree.
It changes with the seasons. It can bend in the strongest winds.
When resources fluctuate during droughts and floods, it survives.
And when I get super discouraged and have fallen out of practise, it helps me to remember:
The time is going to pass anyway.
I can't push pause. I can't fast forward.
The clock keeps going, no matter what I do.
So I may as well do one thing.
One little thing every day. And pat myself on the back, and say Thanks for that one little thing.
You can do it, too.
One single, manageable, bite-size thing.
No need to compare its size to the size of any other action that you or anyone else has ever taken.
Just do the bite-size thing. And every time you do, congratulate yourself.
And keep going.
Inside your seed is a whole, massive tree.
You're so much stronger than you know.
✌️
Your videos are so interesting, amazing n easy to understand. Thanks for your selfless sharing.
...*watching this while avoiding my resume*
I get seeing the world different. I choose to think negative so when it comes out the way I didn’t think that I’d be happy; sad to say it always comes out negative lol
We can do this ! ❤️😊💪🤗. See the best version of yourself it’s inside you . Ease the anxiety & depression by learning these videos . It’s possible to change . See the bright side of your amazing personality . Live your purpose
Secondary gain from one would be so Im not alone again. For another thought the secondary gain prevents me from possibly failing. So I don't try cause I don't want to fail. I feel like Im a failure already so not doing that one thing makes it so I don't feel more like a failure.
It is really enlivening each time I listen to your videos, & this one in particular. Thank you Emma. 👍😊
Although I really enjoy your courses and feel I am learning, " figureoutable ", is not a real word even though it sounds cool and quickly conveys a thought. Maybe it should be.
I love you.
this is what I needed to hear.
You gained a new subcriber