Couples Married for 0-65 Years Answer: What Marriage Advice Do You Wish You Had Gotten? | Brides
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- Опубліковано 4 лип 2024
- We asked married couples at various stages: What marriage advice do you wish you had gotten as newlyweds? From being married for 5 hours to 65 years, take a look at what these couples have to say.
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Couples Married for 0-65 Years Answer: What Marriage Advice Do You Wish You Had Gotten? | Brides
"If you feel as though your spouse has done something that you disagree with, disagree with that particular thing. Don't say you always do this. I think that causes resentment, and the fact that you are being characterised is insulting."
Wisdom!
In psychology the specific term for that is generalization! It's a huge indicator for failing relationships. Great advice.
So much wisdom
That particular stament spoke volumes to me!
👐
Sooooo true
My grandfather, deep into his 80's, gave my the best advice i've ever gotten. He said'' Have faith where you should. Have fun where you can. Have courage where you must. Have condoms.''
Lol
He must have been a character 😁
@@intentionalliving7326 I've never met a man so alive as him, and i doubt i ever will. He enjoyed every moment of the day, and every day of his life.
Awesome. ua-cam.com/video/RoQyZRWIenY/v-deo.html
God bless your grandfather
How are they married for 5.5 hours?! Shouldn't they be celeblating?😂
maybe they just went to the courthouse
@@monishasamells well i would still celebrate with my partner, even if i got married in a court house😂
in one video, they said they were going to celebrate later because the have a two-part wedding
Nothing to celebrate about marriage.. the man is eventually gonna get fed up of his stupid wife after a few years and then you wouldnt be too suprised to see a divorce followed by the man having to pay alimony for the rest of his life
@@ruehl3853 lol yeah if they are both dumb. No effort no succes.
My parents always told me "Remember that your spouse is on your side. Give the benefit of the doubt."
Love this
Yes yes yes!! 👏👏
👍
Needed this thank you!
trust should be earned always
Love is NOT the most important component to a marriage, respect is.
and good communication
David Pietarila love is the only thing there is. With genuine unconditional love comes respect, great communication, etc etc ❤️👊🏽
How do you love but not respect
Nailed it !
@@nyembsafric1 I saw a lot of cases of love with no respect - when you judge, critic, and put your own benefits above someone else's. you can love them but have lack of respect for them. of course this kind of "love" is not good nor healthy.
I might just be married for 7 years (& still counting), but here's my take : Befriend your spouse, and always.. always remember the reason why you wanna marry him/her in the first place.
This is the best advice. When I am mad at my husband, I always try and remember why I love this man for almost 15 years, why no one else will ever hold my heart...and then he knowingly says something to make me smile, and all is well with my world.
Does your partner still increase your heart rate when you see them and take your breath away? Or does the attraction shift to a different experience when you have been with sonone along time? 😎
You guys should let both partners answer instead of one, it would be really cool to see two perspectives.
or let them answer individually
Yeah, that works.
I was thinking the same but I’m also conflicted cause I actually kinda liked that in literally every case one person speaks and the other wholeheartedly nods 😂 they probably discussed what to say beforehand.
I'm sure they did...this video is spliced
And the two shall become one...
I really like the second couple's advice. Not even just for marriage, but any meaningful relationship. Love is not one language. I'm an extremely affectionate person, almost annoyingly so. My boyfriend is much more laid back and independent, doesn't need as much as I do, and it took some time for me to learn that that's just how he is rather than taking it as a lack of love.
exactly! It was a hump me and my boyfriend had to go over and once we did, we just appreciated each other so much more
I know this was a year ago but my bf & I are going through that now. If you can help in anyway I’d appreciate some tips on how to do that. I hope you see this
Well said! Im working on this too
Reminded me of the “5 live languages” book ☀️
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Wrong
“No one is right, no one is wrong, you just work through and have a conversation” best advice ever
I once heard marriage is like running a small non profit. Find someone you work well with ❤️
Deborah L Everyone talk bad about marriage that’s scary
@@umar3298 Not everyone. Marriage is pretty legit. Marriage is ultimately good. I've seen a lot of happy marriages.
Sweet 🌸
🌈nice one
A 80 year old neighbor of mine gave me some of the best marriage advice ever. he said to understand that no one stays the same and that everyone changes. You must accept it.
01:57.. "it's not going to be Marvin Gaye and lingerie all the time".... Started singing Tamar Braxtons Love and War
I love that song!
Girl that my song
YES!🙌🏽Love and war
🗣Weeeeeee stay on the fronnnnnnt linesssss!
😁😂😍
What’s best for the marriage ALWAYS comes first! What’s best for your partner, comes second, and what’s best for you always comes third. If both partners are operating on this principle, then it’s a marriage of giving and everyone’s needs are getting met.
I love this so much :)
Before I got married, a very wise woman said to me, don’t look at everything you like/love about the person. Rather, look at what you dislike about them and ask yourself, “can I live with this forever?” If the answer is no, run. Don’t expect to change that person when married. This words of wisdom stuck with me.
She said "travel spend some money" 😂
They should've kept filming, I wanted to see his reaction.
It got me thinking hard😂😂😂
The rich maybe 😂😢
Create memories 🤩
So many wise words shared!
I feel bad for the man who missed out on spending more time with his kids because he believed a man’s role is to work. That would really suck for me.
I agree with the partner that mentioned that labelling the other partner’s mistake as “you always do this or that” can feel very disempowering and give the problem more weight.
For me personally, having the freedom to remain an individual while remaining grounded in the comradery of the marriage is paramount.
I resonate fully with enjoying time together to the fullest before the babies come. Those little beings come in and change everything!
Thanks guys x
Though not married, a married woman did give me this advice: Enjoy your husband a while before having children. They require lots of attention and men can feel jealousy too
So much wisdom and care shared ☀️🌸
@@krislatoya7556 my fear
When it comes to a spouse; choose WISELY, then treat kindly.
Pray about it!!!!!
Yesssss
3:15 this is a very helpful advice actually with any relationship you have and not just your s/o
Husband: "Life's vicissitudes..."
Wife: "Life's what?" lol
😂😂😂
“The winter is gonna come so prepare for it “
This whole series is so heartwarming... having been married for 1 month, these snippets of advice are really eye-opening
Been together for 31 years. Love him more every day. My advice would be to be tolerant of each other and we all have different perspectives of life. Understand this and all will be great. Also remember love is purely everything.
Are you still going strong three years later?
@@twomp5613 probably ...i mean what difference can it be beetween 31 and 34 ?
Don’t ever ever ever try to get even for something they have done to hurt you! It is so much easier to forgive when the hurt is caused by accident or unintentionally. When you inflict pain on purpose it’s harder to get past it.
Communication and friendship! Your spouse should be your best friend and the first one to whom you want to share something with, whether it's a gossip or a concern. We fall in and out of love while married but it's hard to fall out of friendship. So we continue to talk, joke and communicate until we fall in love again😘 children makes it so much more enjoyable too(most of the time!lol)
"Compromise."
*Eartha Kitt laughing*
Robert Thompson 😂😂😂
And wasn't she single and cynical lol. People taking advice from the wrong person. You don't take advice from someone who doesn't have the life you want unless they're warning you how they got their.
I liked this vid! As a husband of 39 years, I wish someone would have told me the seriousness of the marriage covenant. That each needs to develop a Servanthood Heart where it was no longer “me” being married, but “us” to serve each other’s needs and those of our kids.
Marriage is never 50/50; it’s at best 60/40. Whenever it’s your time to carry the heavier load, BE GRATEFUL. His dirty socks in the floor may irritate you now, but one day if something bad happens, and he’s not there to leave those socks, you’re going to beg god to get them back!
It's actually 100/100.
I agree with this. As I am now.... (I am complaining about the socks , dishes, living room pillows ....I will STOP it and address the issue and not him.. I will think of how to present it to him at another time instead of saying "You always leave this a mess".."Why couldn't you just pick it up instead of leaving it there for me to get"). I honestly believe that because I'm home injured right now that he does this and knows that I will straighten up the house. Its not done AAAAALLLLL the time but it's enough to get a Lil tude..... I want to address things differently... with tact, ease, a level of understanding and consideration for both of us.
I love my husband😍 And I want To stay "IN L💖VE" with him.
Yes David!! It's definitely a back and forth of carrying the load. By having that outlook, you also won't find yourself constantly judging the other person when your day seems stressful. Most importantly, I think it's best to acknowledge the roles and duties ahead of time, but also understand no human being can be expected to do it perfectly, or to never have off days. Mutual respect and acknowledgement of what each person does to contribute creates a very productive and loving atmosphere.
David Pietarila This was beautiful
@@kimberlyd9755 exactly
This couple looks so young. WOW 22 years of marriage. Amen to them 3:52
I love being married (8 years now) - my husband was, is, and always will be my best friend.
Some advice that stuck with me was to not forget that even though we are married, we are also individuals.
Figured I’d start watching stuff like this, because I’m ready to settle down and get married in the next 2-3 years.
Talia Oliver yessss!!!! Speak it into existence ❤️❤️❤️
No time line on finding the right person
The 18 year married blonde has reinforced my decision to remain childfree lmao
Marcie oh my gosh, same
🤣
Me too LOL I just kept thinking, thank god for the movies on a Sunday
i wanna stay childfree two ...but my future wife is already all the time talking about kids 🤧
because you can't sleep late anymore? 🤦♀ Did you notice how beautiful she was though? Must be the sleepless mornings 😅
It’s not good communication that is more important... it’s respect. Because someone who disrespects you can communicate well with you too.
Amen
I like the black couple of the two women in the beginning. They seem so mature and serious and so in love.
☀️ “Progressive adjustments as the years go by...” love and appreciate that in every area of life. Imagine if we did that intentionally 🌸
THANK YOU BRIDES. I really enjoyed this serie of marriage counselling videos. It give a lot of insights and perspective even tough every every relationship is unique.
I’m married, but I’m oddly also a cynic of marriage. I guess I’ve witnessed too many divorces and it skews my perspective on it. People are generally awful at choosing life partners, sometimes more than once. When they make the bold promise “For better or for worse” they have NO clue of what they’re claiming. It just sounds lovely and romantic at the time. A few years pass and one or both spouses want out (what happened to the “or for worse” part?) and they destroy each other’s lives during the divorce process. More importantly, they selfishly drag their children through it (the only victims in divorce, because they’re the only ones who had no say in any of what’s happing to them and it affects them the most) and many divorcees continue the cycle all over again with their subsequent spouses.
*phew*
Kids, be very careful who you choose to marry. It will change your life for better - or for worse.
Perhaps because marriage is outdated. Marriage was once a transaction for passing on assets to your offsprings after death. Marriage was essentially a man "owning" his wife (her reproductive system), so he could pass on his wealth to his children. It's why adultery was considered illegal. It wasn't because it was "immoral" (in the sense that we view cheating today) but that you were "stealing" from a man's property by sleeping with his wife lol. It was never intended for love and romance as people make of it today. That's the real problem! And that's why i'm anti-marriage.
The way marriage has been distorted in western society (p.o.v. I'm speaking from) can be extremely disheartening. It seems as if people get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons. People make the vows, but then when the hard issues come, they are so quick to abandon it. Despite these factors, I still choose to see marriage as a beautiful union of making the choice to spend the remainder of your life with someone who you believe you will (not can, because you should not marry potential) grow with. I am not married, but I know it takes commitment and effort, long after the honeymoon phase has died down.
@@oalatishe Thats because people are not following what marriage was originally intended for, as I explained above lol. Marriage was never for love in the first place! Look up the history of marriage and see for yourself. Marriage for love is unnatural. How can you claim to commit to someone for the rest of your life? Humans beings ARE NOT stagnant. They change over time. Feelings change. Desires change. Perspectives change.
PaiN ExoTiC that’s interesting. I think marriage has become too romanticized by Hollywood and the societal pressure to have dream weddings.
@@painexotic3757 You're right human beings are not stagnant and life happens, but when I see people who are married 50+ years and more have made it work, its encouraging to believe that it is possible to be able to commit to one person.
Pay attention, keep learning - relationships take work but are worth it in the end. Never take your person for granted, love and respect them, show compassion and forgiveness and remember to look at yourself before you start pointing your finger at them. Marriage can and should be fun, keep your sense of humor and playful side with your spouse even in old age.
This is so wonderful.. I love how in-depth the advice gets as the years go on
The best advice I can think of that I wish i'd thought of when young is to take an accredited basic psychology course. It will help you to understand yourself and what YOU need first, and also help you pick out those who are putting on an act - which most men and women do at first, and some can keep it up until after marriage a couple of years along the line. Still, there will be tells and a basic psychology course will help you spot important things you might otherwise not notice or may dismiss.
It will also help you in many other areas of your life.
"It's not gonna be marvin gaye and lingerie all the time"
I envy people who have a life, who actually live their life, who have friends, family, and a job that they like. Even having a hard time in life, people still have a life, and are getting through it. I am a loner who very desperately wants friends, but the thought of even getting close to someone, scares the hell out of me, I just keep to myself, and just ignore everything about life, because I'm too scared to do anything. I'm scared of rejection from someone, I'm afraid to do anything crazy because I don't want to get into any trouble, and I just do the same boring thing every day. I hate it, and I honestly don't know what to do.
josh quill The fear itself is way worse than the actual thing itself... maybe join a class or take up a hobby. Talking to a therapist might also help. And start slow. One day a simple hello to a stranger, down the road a small talk. Everyone craves a connection, other people want friends just as much as you do :). You could be the friend to someone else who is too afraid to make friends. Best of luck to you! Don’t let fear take over, you only have one life. You can do this and you can make somebody else’s life much better :)
Olga I agree completely. Also if there is anything you’re like to do maybe join a club for it.
I think you need to get better acquainted with yourself first.
I've had friends come into my life and go, relationships come and go, I've made some good memories and some not so good. Some people have brought amazing happiness and sharp pain and hurt to my life, but today is a new day and there's people I've never met things yet to do I won't let myself get jaded and not enjoy and share my life and gifts with others.
Start small. Smile at people who walk past. Be a regular somewhere even if it is the same register in the grocery store. I had this problem because my parents did not raise us as indivuduals. They raised us very militant and as a herd. I didnt even like looking at pictures of myself for a while because I did not exist on my own. You exist as a person. People recognize you even if you think they don't. Start small i grew out of it at about 26ish. I am now 29. I still go back to my bubble but i invite people inside occassionally.
that 18 years couple is so gorgeous
This was awesome to watch! We've been married for almost 6 years - we would add that (1) You have to pick your battles (socks on the floor aren't worth World War 6) and (2) we are partners in everything (parenting, finances, etc.). We know that all couples cannot and do not want to work together, but we love each others company. This sometimes bring new challenges though. Great channel - great information. ❤️❤️❤️
That wisdom about people loving in different ways! Mannnnnn that was some deep words
I got married about a month ago. Glad I encounter this video. I can use it as my guidance. But, I do believe that every couple is unique and has their own phase.
If you don’t feel like you are getting enough, you should probably be giving more.
Makes sense to me.
3:20 hit me hard
Many of my arguments are because of this
Thank you so much. I really needed this😭
I’d say kindness. Know that after the honeymoon phase is over, you’re actually going to have to put effort into keeping it magical. We forget to be kind because we’re used to being around that person. Forgiveness, forgive your spouse no matter what (unless it’s Uber serious). Don’t make your love conditional. And work on comunication. Know you’re loved one won’t be fabulous every day. Always put him first. And who ever said marriage is 50/50 that’s a bunch of bull. You put 200 baby, both people that’s how. Both feet in, when it’s ugly and paradisiacal that’s how you make it. Let him make mistakes. Treat him how you’d like to be treated. Those are my 2 cents after being married twice.
so beautiful
3:09 This guy has some real insight.
There's some solid advice here. Fascinating how people's relationships work, I love it.
I need MORE OF THESE RN
Great advice.
Send this to me through a time machine back 15 years before I was married.
My advice is for each side to be absolutely sure the one they're going to marry genuinely enjoys spending time with you loves you for all your weirdness, quirks and everything that makes you who you are. Strive to ignore those who only care about money and sex.
Beautiful video!! Such wisdom is rarely this easy to come by....thanks!!❤❤
omg the 84 days lesbian couple? wowzers 😍
Absolutely obsessed with them
Not
Nah wayy too many black lesbians..its disturbing
Are you nigerian?
Forever Cold Entertainment lol wtf. They can’t help it lol
In a relationship for 2 years. My boyfriend and I don’t know what to do because we’re scared of taking the next level. This video has helped !!
That was beautiful I've been married 7 years so all their advice was accurate.
The best advice I have gotten was from my father" life is like a race. It is not about who gets there first and it is not about how long it takes you. The race has opsticles and turns. The main goals of the race is to reach the end together."
Watching this video gives a heads-up and an idea of what life would be after marriage.
Thank you for sharing this video!
Respect each other’s differences. I used to hate hearing, “maybe we are incompatible”. You have a kid and what if you are incompatible with him/her. You get a 🐕, what if you are incompatible. In business we can be incompatible with others but still get the work done. Marriage is a lot of work.
You can really see the couples that are at harmony and those that are not.. when they explain the answer some are one and others are miles apart and uncomfortable
Communication is the key in the marriage and always respect your spouse and listen
Am I the only one wondering how on earth are the Asian couple married for 22 years. Is that a typo? or did they got married at 12.
jotjmin joon they married at 18, and are 40 years old
I was wondering too. Especially cos the looked Young. Good for them
I know right.
Omg! U r on spot. She looks 22
@@sharmillajowaheer313 Come on! Y'all are just stretching it now😂 She definitely looks like she's in her 30s, which is not bad.
0:30 Her partner seems so awkward and she looks like she doesn't agree with the statement...
It'd be so great to watch the space between the people get bigger and bigger as the video went on
The meal and just cause advice is Gold.
I've seen different marriage advice on youtube... This stands out for me.
2:31 is some really good advice as well 💯
Im glad to hear that :)
Note to self: dont be the guy at 4:25 😂😂
This is beautiful ❤️
1:48 you guys remember them from America's got talent? Great to see they're still happy and in love
My 11 year marriage advice is to regularly and realistically self evaluate. This really helps in times of conflict. Like one of the married couples in this video who were married for over 40 years, I wish I would have known that there would be many times through the marriage where adjustments must happen. Only 11 years in and have had SEVERAL adjustments already!!
5:15... So sweet 😍
Never go to sleep angry!!
I love the advice from the married couple for 18 years!
So, Im going into a serious relationship, I had just had a divorce. So, this video really sought to open my eyes!
Thank you @Brides
This is beautiful!
My advice is : give each other freedom to express and grow , learn listening from a clean space and give each other space to share. Have boundaries and share your needs. Most importantly I treat marriage as spiritual practice. We always paying attentions to our own internal world and self awareness is the key for us. And take ownership of our own emotions , can share how you feel , but is important to own our emotions
Married 27 years. This month. Very proud. Very happy. Love each other no matter what. Be each others rock. And. Dont let family & friends meddle or know your business they are haters. And love laugh and live
This is adorable!!😭
I’ve been happily married for 20 years with no end in sight.
I think be more tolerant, respect each other and never stop dating it’s what works for us
the last guy ...grandpa was looking very fresh and handsome for a gentleman in his 80s even probably 90....since he was been married 65 years
Would’ve been cool to have had them both answer separately (so not letting them hear each other’s answers) and then have them come together & answer/discuss their answers, see if they were the same or different, were they surprised with the others answer, why did they choose that particular piece of advice to share... etc. would’ve been interesting (and been an opportunity for more content lol)
1:50-2:00 dude alluded to GoT and Tamar Braxton. Love. 😍😍
Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL 💕
Omg all these ladies are so sooo beautiful
I loved everyone's truth!
3:17 is gold
0:19 that's not real marriage
Being single is paradise I know it sounds stupid but it is you have more advantages , being married is being tied down that's if your partner treats you like you're worthless be sure to marry someone that respects you and Vise versa
Gets better towards the end!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Wh atsA p p👆him now❤❤
Peace is better than always being right
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Wh atsA p p👆him now
I would love to have a check-in and see where all of these couples are currently!
"if you ever fight with your partner/spouse, remember it's you and your partner vs the problem not you vs your partner"
I don't remember who said those but I think it's a family member...oh well, I don't know😅
1:51 Love the hairline