This is why having a wedding all inclusive at a standard wedding venue is the best way to go. It may cost more initially, but all the setup is done for you and you have access to a full wait staff, bar tender etc all included in your venue price.
One thing I learned with helping my mom on her wedding day this past weekend is HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET WRINKLES OUT OF LINEN TABLECLOTHS. IT TOOK ALL DAY no exaggeration, all day to get the linens wrinkle free the day before the wedding. We had a steamer, and an iron and we took turns doing it. But it was the most annoying part. Everything else was fairly easy and didn’t take that long.
We are paying an extra $1500 for our venue for a premier package so they do set up, take down, garbage, venue coordination, a whole extra day for rehearsal and I get 50% off their selected caterers! Totally worth it even for the set up and take down part haha
I've worked hospitality for years and it still mystifies me that teardown for a catered event takes so long. Most restaurants can shutdown within an hour, but a medium sized wedding is easily double that, even with housemen doing tables and chairs.
I was part of a "surprise" tear down. The venue didn't offer it and required for whomever rented the hall to clean up or there would be an additional fee. We (my family) didn't find out until the day of. We helped because my brother was panicking. No one had been assigned the task. So, we helped to clean up...in our suits and bridesmaid dresses. Even with that, one of the funnest weddings I'd been to.
I had no idea how much work went into set up and tear down. My aunts missed my wedding because they were setting up the reception venue. My family also did clean up. This is such an important video.
This video is overwhelming.... but SOOO necessary! I recently got married sept.29th. In the beginning I planned to DIY most of it and have nothing but family help! After watching many of your videos I decided to hire a wedding coordinator and catering service to bus...ect! best idea/money well spent! So worth it! Myself and family were able to enjoy our day
The tighter the guest list, the BETTER! Lots of couples send out 125 invitations or more, only to have financial trouble within the first 2-3 years of marriage! C'mon & be wise people! Keep the event intimate (maybe 50 guests max) & then you can splurge a bit on a better quality honeymoon or maybe spend it on a big ticket item like a new vehicle, a larger home, or something else! Way too many folks make a really big deal about that one specific day then completely drop the ball when it comes to putting that same effort into making the marriage itself work out great. (Smh.) Don't mean to lecture here. Just saying.
Yes. We got married with no guests at all. Just the wife and I. Was a great day! Then we invited our family and friends seperately to dinner at a nice restaurant to tell them. We saved so much money, we could afford a really nice honeymoon in Asia! Totally worth it. 😉👍
@@saschamayer4050 It's about values and priorities. Some people value celebrating their marriage ceremony with the people who love them and have made them who they are today, other prioritize a vacation with just them and their spouse. Neither is right or wrong, it just speaks to their values and who they are as people.
This doesn't apply to everyone. Our annual household income is 400k+ and our savings collectively is about 800k so our budget is relatively loose because we're able to afford a larger wedding. People should do what works for them
@@pricklypear1111well, prickly pear, you may have earned a hefty salary, but you certainly can’t buy manners. Announcing your salary and savings is very unattractive and simply not appropriate. JS.
I have a catering company , and it’s always interesting to see the receptions , and all the work the brides family , Djs , venue owners , bartenders , photographers , photos booths workers , bakers , etc have to go to to make this night a success . I know for us , we start early , cutting fruit for displays , wrapping dishes , packing Cambros ( hot boxes , gasing up trucks , hitching trailers , packing bins of napkins , plates , utensils , checking off HUGE list , piling people in a trucks a loading a caravan of people to a venue just to download and wait ... but it’s so worth it when the tired guests get to sit with their food and enjoy themselves ;)
I found my tribe! Even told my daughter she needs to subscribe to you for overall general therapy over the next 8 mos. lol We got pictures, diagrams, inventory lists on every tote of exactly whats in it. Computer files and back up files on flash drives. We did a mock up of all the desserts and trays and labels of exactly where they go and visit the venue regularly to take pictures, check plugs etc. We went down there with a measuring tape and measured the room from every angle because they didnt know off hand square footage. its a running joke that we are going to get banned before ever having her wedding. We even gave the venue a copy of the floor diagram we made in case brides want to know in the future. So, if you ever move to Ohio and are hiring, you have my resume now. LOL
Thank you for this! My big day is next month and I’m freaking out a bit because our bridal party will be helping with set up and tear down. Luckily, the venue itself is nicely decorated so we aren’t having much for decor. Just some greenery and candles on our tables. Our guest count is 75 🙏🏽 I’m praying that we can all have peace in our hearts that day and still have fun!
We did this, set up and tear down. We had some amazing friends and family essentially taking shifts to set up and take down everything. However myself and my husband did every shift. We were so tired the entire time. It looked amazing and our guests who didn't help were none the wiser. It was an entire diy wedding and cost us less than £10,000 (including our honeymoon). We were determined not to go into debt for essentially a party that took a few hours. We would rather spend that money on the marriage. So it's all swings and round abouts.
Jamie Wolfer Totally! In retrospect, if money wasn't an option I'd have a hired team to do it all. It's too easy to underestimate the amount of time and effort that goes into set up and tear down, especially with hired stuff that has to be returned clean the next day. You covered it all, but it's so funny to hear you talk about this after we've just gone through it. :)
HAHAHAHAH the OCD inside me is shaking. I wanted to organize from top-to-bottom my own wedding; print samples, create layouts, 100% DIY projects. Thankfully I came to my right senses and hired professionals to do it. So much better.
YES! It will cost at least DOUBLE the time, people think it will take. My advice is to assign all tasks to different persons. When it's more than two, have a 'fore(wo)man' for that group, who's been informed well! And one could also hire one or two people, who is/are used to working on weddings, to oversee things at dinner and clean-up. Someone who reminds everyone to scrape their plate. Someone who will make sure everything is brought to the kitchen. Someone who cleans and checks stuff, when others are watching the cutting of the cake or the first dance. We recently threw a party of just 30 people and were very happy with our choice to hire someone for a specifically busy time window of 4 hours. We could concentrate on the guests.
We just had our wedding on 11/28, and we remembered this video, and STILL were flustered the morning of setup because things took 4x longer than anticipated! I was hyper organized with lists of who will do what during what block of time, added pictures of how everything should look, and was SHOCKED that the simplest things took forevvvver. It was also raining, so our coordinator recommended we hold off on certain things ( had an outdoor backyard wedding in Seattle with 9 guests) until the rain stopped. And I absolutely agree with you that it’s frustrating that with so much detailed instructions and with pictures, that something mildly artistic could still get messed up. My husband put our ceremony garland upside down, so all the flowers were pointing up toward the sky, and he got the dimensions of the arch wrong. It was supposed to be 6 feet across and he made it 8 feet across, so it was a fat looking arch where the upside down garland didn’t span the whole length, but ugh, I’ll deal... thanks so much for all of your great help in your videos!! You kept me sane during our 11 month engagement during Covid.
After watching this I feel so reassured about what I have planned for my wedding (glorified Halloween party, very casual) but still watching every video I can on planning so I’m over prepared for the day.
This is exactly why I booked all inclusive and upgraded. We end up getting an entire extra day to set up, they handle all tear down and we just pick our items up the next day. They serve the food, bus the tables, etc, so my family can enjoy themselves. Totally worth it
My family got caught doing set up and tear down for my brothers wedding. They didn’t ask us before hand and they had no plan to where anything went and what needed to be put where. It’s SO important to communicate and be organized! We ended up being there till midnight and the wedding ended at 7. It was rough!
@@gardenjoy5223 not necessarily. You could have everything run smoothly but you get caught up in talking to people, and getting ready, etc. It doesn't have anything to do with being a bad planner or bad at delegating. It is a reality.
@@correna-lynbayduza4756 Yes, it does. The planning should allow AMPLE time for enjoying yourself, whilst eating and having quality time with your partner. If that goes out the door, either your schedule is way too full (bad planning) or you have loaded too many tasks upon yourself (bad delegating). It's really that simple. The 'reality' you describe does not have to be. Creating a different, more pleasurable reality, is found on the path of smart planning and smart delegating.
@@gardenjoy5223 As a former bridal consultant, I am telling you that no, it doesn't. I have seen time and again, where brides will not eat because of nerves, or during dinner, they are busy talking to people. I as a consultant have actually had to say to guests that want to talk to the bride and groom during eating, "would you mind just letting them eat for a few minutes, and they will be happy to chat with you after." Brides and grooms don't necessarily want to say that. So no, that is not the case.
@@correna-lynbayduza4756 What horrible wedding culture do you represent? Where guests don't know when it is time to sit down and eat? It is up to the planner to make sure these things are conveyed well. Just saying as someone who rents our halls for engagement parties and weddings. It's really not that hard. At least in Europe it isn't, and I've lived in three countries there already. Never saw a wedding, where the bride didn't get the space to eat. If that IS a problem where you live, maybe you could start a soft revolution, by Planning such a thing and Conveying it well? In the case above, at least you were there to grant them the time. That's already part of delegating well. Keep up the good work.
Wooooow, you people are crazy. In my country venues include everything. Tableware, linens, furniture, both set up and tear down, even decor. You can usually have a few classical choices to choose from (I mean, usually what you would expect from the vibe of the venue you picked), they even usually offer centerpieces though you're free to bring your own and your own decor, and they will set it up for you AND tear it up and pack it up for you. A normal, medium budget wedding, btw. A wedding in the US sounds like a nightmare!
I just want to say that I just got married this past Saturday and used SO MANY of your videos to help with my planning. Thank you so much for making such amazing content and helping so many brides ❤️❤️❤️
Yes! This video explains it so well. I didn't hire a coordinator and I had no idea what I was in for with my wedding, so I will always talk about hiring a coordinator and not working on your wedding!
My first job was with a wedding/event planner, it was fun but also a lot of work and more physically demanding than I would have expected. I had forgotten though so thank you for reminding me to consider this when it comes up for me
Your videos are always so helpful! Please would you do one on having a backyard wedding. I'm hoping to have both the ceremony and the reception in my parents beautiful garden but I'm worried about if that is realistic logistically. Thank you xx
I think the key here is to get a venue with table/chairs included if possible (so no lugging large furniture around). If you keep centerpieces a simple bouquet per table, perhaps a few candles, it shouldn't be more than 15m set-up each with tableware/linens. And if you get 10 helpers, that's no more than half an hour. Maybe some stringlights, another half hour with that many people. Keep decoration minimal and avoid little knickknacks in favor of one-and-done pieces. Efficiency is key. Set-up is only as complicated as you make it.
@@jennifermcdaniel3910 This comment is from 3 years ago. I got married 1.5 years ago, and yes, it WAS realistic. My two bridesmaids and my mom set up the ten tables, and they got it all done in about 45 minutes. Per my comment, we kept it very simple (two small flower arrangements, a table number, and a couple candles per table). So once again I say: setup is only as complicated as you make it.
I am SO happy you made this video!! I'm gonna watch it about 10 times, take notes, and show it to my fiance and other bride-to-be that I know. Thank you!
When I get married I want minimal decor to make it easier at the end. I’ll ask if the venue provides crockery, glasses, table cloths, cutlery and have them clean it after (even if that costs a fee), for table decorations I just want a flower ball that people can either take home or can be disposed of after the wedding. Will make things a LOT easier. I don’t want LOADS of stuff that even if it is taken down I really don’t want to keep it all.
Can you do a video about dealing with Family who has strong feelings on things about your wedding? I just got engaged and we wanted to wait a while before diving into planning but my mother has already started looking into things and every time we talk that is all she wants to talk about. When I told her I just wanted to wait a little she says I am being irrational because it takes time. hahaha help?
My advice would be to go out for a coffee with her and talk about her expectations for the wedding, then your views, and gently tell her that you would like to be the main driver of your own wedding. Then try to work with her to make a list of a few things that you would LOVE her help on, and ask her to let you take the lead on the rest!
I agree that she’s probably just worried about getting you booked in time . My husband and I own a catering business , and we see often how waiting too late to book your caterer etc can turn out to a pressurized , panicking situation . We had a tasting today with a couple for next year , and that date is already completely booked . They did everything else , but waited for catering last , and we nicely squeezed them into the date they wanted , but the next couple for that date will unfortunately be asked to choose a new date , or a new caterer . These brides get a jump on it early because they know they have to . If you do nothing else but put a deposit down on your venue , caterer and DJ , to lock in the date , that would serve you well 🤗hope that helps
I just love your videos - I wish I had had them when I started doing event planning 20 years ago. You pinpoint all of the lessons I learned over countless galas and fundraisers and concerts. I remember loading stuff into my car at 2am all alone at end of my first event. I made sure to have dedicated helpers after that! Thanks for another great video and keep up the great work!
Yesss this video is sooo necessary! I love that you got and set up your own stringy lights for your wedding. HUGE QUESTION about this, how long did you give yourself to set this up? How did you know how much you needed? Did you staple them? If so, how the heck to you tear that down lol
I am such a perfectionist but I purposely picked a wedding party very similar to me who are all detail oriented. Planning to have photos of everything mocked up, and we thankfully have access to our venue the night before to decorate!
I made a rule that was if youre in the wedding party you do set up and/or tear down. Respectfully 3 potential bridesmaids couldnt commit and i understood because they were upfront and said nope.
Jamie, your videos are awesome! I'm planning my wedding for June 2020 and I've found your videos so realistic, down to earth, and helpful, especially the "things you guests don't give a flying fart about" video - pure gold. In line with your interest about learning how weddings go down in other countries (Hi from Ontario, Canada!), many venues here are all inclusive - i.e. they provide the food, the plates, the table clothes, the waiters, the bussers, the bar etc.- and do much of this set up and tear down for you aside from personal items like decor, florals, and gifts. There are exceptions but I would say this is the case more often than not. Such a relief to not have to worry about these things! Our venue - the Elora Mill Hotel and Spa - even provides us with both an event coordinator and a day of concierge for us to work with leading up to and on the day of our wedding. Keep up the amazing work!
thanks Jamie. this was a wonderful video. My wedding is on Oct 20th and I'll will be working on that day. setting up and tearing down. you gave me a bunch of new ideas to plan for. keep up the good work
I look forward to your video every week!!! We got luck with our venue and we can go in the day before and set up. It was the biggest reason we booked it.
Yes the venue owners are amazing people and so if you book a Saturday wedding you can come on Friday at 7am to start getting things done for the next day. Asking when I could go in to set up was on my lost of questions because of you so thank you. Could everyone send good vibes or a prayer that everyone here in the panhandle is safe from the hurricane.
I’ve been binge watching your videos like crazy! I’m so glad there is a channel like this! I’m going crazy wedding planning and it’s still over a year away😂
I love you so much. Thank god for UA-cam. I feel so less stressed out about all wedding stuff because of people like you. My wedding is still in very early phases. We still have at least 3 years until our big day. The thing that sucks is a lot of "wedding people" when I go to expos and stuff think I'm crazy when I say that but I want a dream wedding and I'm 23 and don't make a bunch of money. We barely have extra savings. So things like this help immensely.
Jamie I’m loving your videos!! I stumbled upon your channel today when I was searching for questions for vendors and I have been watching your videos for hours now
THANK YOU for this video Jamie! I'm getting married next September and this has been one of the biggest things that trips me up. Our venue only has a day of coordinator and an assistant or two, but they're there solely to protect the venue as it's a historic building. This video is helpful in figuring out how to break it down! Thank you for sharing your expertise❤
hi ms jamie! thank u for all the wonderful videos!!! love all the videos! my wedding wont be till jan 11,2020 but i am already starting to canvass and plan since some will be diy and trying to be on a budget less than 5k. so far so good found a coordinator for only 200-250 plus venue that doesnt cost an arm and leg.... its crazy but early planning really helps and watching urvideos!
I'm sooo thankful all the venues we've looked at allow us to have access a few days before and after the wedding, we're literally diy-ing everything except the boring stuff (tables, chairs, food, I dunno, forks???) so it's gonna get craaaazy. And I'm not gonna do just a few nice vases with flowers, nooooo, that would be easy and that's.not.what.I'm.about. I'm about that high anxiety and creativity. I may have finished diy-projects I completely forgot about. It's like Christmas every time I search for something in our storage room! The projects I'm not done with included a big ass half moon that people can sit in for a photo backdrop. Bleeeesss your pretty heart for making this video!! Things I'm prepared for: how to make it pretty and how to get the pretty home. Things I wasn't prepared for until this point: trash!?plates?!bar?!moving chairs?!washing dishes?! I'm gonna be sooo organized in a years time just you wait!
I've been watching your videos since I started planning my wedding in May. I am 4 weeks away from the big day now. This is my favorite video! Thank you, so helpful!
I'm so glad most of this doesnt apply to me lol my venue requires we use them for food and alcohol, they're in charge of bussing, set up and tear down. And we have a small guest list lol
Just found you after I've searched on youtube for money saving ideas for my wedding. I feel very lucky to have a photographer friend, parents who do catering, future sister in law who makes cakes and future niece who is a hair dresser. I found my dress today and put down a deposit, but theres so much more to it.....i have so many questions about things about if they are really needed, like.....do i actually need centre pieces? How on earth do you come up with a table plan? Do i really need every chair to have a cover and sash? I love planning but wow.....this is a big task haha
I'm not Jamie, but I absolutely do not plan on using chair covers or chair sashes. I also will have extremely minimal centerpieces. It's not necessary, but just realize your pictures and the "ambiance" will feel a little different and slightly less fancy without those types of things.
I’ve been binge watching your videos and am planning a wedding for this fall. I love you. Thank you. I had no idea there were videos like this for wedding planning. Amazing!
Jamie!!!! I'm two years away from our wedding. Long engagement, I know but I honestly need the time and save more for this tiny thing we are doing. We have like 25 guests and since it's my second wedding we are paying for all of it. It's a courthouse wedding so that only leaves me with making the reception the way I want it. This is the first wedding I do myself (long story, don't ask). I'm already mostly done with the planning but I'm aware things will change in 2 years but that is why I'm planning now, also I'm DIYing everything. Cake, food, appetizers, decorations and all that jazz. Obviously fam will help, like my mom will make the rice lol but I'm responsible for it all.... Help!? 😂
Hello, newly engaged here (Oct.2) and now I'm really wondering if I'm going to be a diy bride or whether I'm gonna need to fork over the money to make it get done without me lol
Thanks for posting all these wonderful videos. I’m getting married in the spring and my venue is inexpensive because it is in a state park. I wanted to ask your advice about paying for an extra day before to set everything up. Do you think it would be worth it? Even if I rent the facility for 2 days it will still be under budget for me.
I looooove your channel, found it yesterday and I’m devouring your videos😍 Ps. I like that in every video your hair is style in a different way hahahaha
My decor ppl are charging me so much for delivery, set up and pick up i let them know i have alot of DIY to set up and since i hired her to be my day of coordinator hopefully i dont have to worry about anything 😩
Where did you have your wedding where you had to DIY the set up and take down? I've been in two weddings, and both the venue did the set up and tear down for you... it was included in the price. One of the venues was on the pricier side, the other was on the cheaper side. In fact, at the wedding with the cheaper venue, me, along with the other members of the wedding party began to throw away trash, help clean up, etc. But, one of the venue staff asked us to stop because that was someone else's job. I don't doubt it can be the case where you have to DIY your own set up and take down. I'm just wondering where that was.
After all of these videos I don't even wanna get married anymore. It sounds so stressfull and I know I don't have friends and family who wanna help that much.
Omg what the heck do u people be doing!! I have never ever ever heard or seen this craziness.. I have planned at least 7 weddings and 3 soon 4 sweet 16 which is about the same.. Set up is fun so much fun me and my kids had a ball.. Music food and sign and dance it out.. I'm so confused !!
This is why having a wedding all inclusive at a standard wedding venue is the best way to go. It may cost more initially, but all the setup is done for you and you have access to a full wait staff, bar tender etc all included in your venue price.
This is my biggest wedding fear, having my parents not enjoy themselves because they're concerned with logistics. Been there, done that quinceañera.
Literally ready to elope after watching this. Lol
Haha seriously! I'm so overwhelmed
lauraboo1982 Right?! I’m kind of freaking out.
I was thinking that..
One thing I learned with helping my mom on her wedding day this past weekend is HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET WRINKLES OUT OF LINEN TABLECLOTHS. IT TOOK ALL DAY no exaggeration, all day to get the linens wrinkle free the day before the wedding. We had a steamer, and an iron and we took turns doing it. But it was the most annoying part. Everything else was fairly easy and didn’t take that long.
We are paying an extra $1500 for our venue for a premier package so they do set up, take down, garbage, venue coordination, a whole extra day for rehearsal and I get 50% off their selected caterers! Totally worth it even for the set up and take down part haha
I've worked hospitality for years and it still mystifies me that teardown for a catered event takes so long. Most restaurants can shutdown within an hour, but a medium sized wedding is easily double that, even with housemen doing tables and chairs.
Welp, you just solidified my decision to pick a venue that includes this stuff 😂 oh, and hire a coordinator to keep everything organized of course ❤️
I was part of a "surprise" tear down. The venue didn't offer it and required for whomever rented the hall to clean up or there would be an additional fee. We (my family) didn't find out until the day of. We helped because my brother was panicking. No one had been assigned the task. So, we helped to clean up...in our suits and bridesmaid dresses. Even with that, one of the funnest weddings I'd been to.
I had no idea how much work went into set up and tear down. My aunts missed my wedding because they were setting up the reception venue. My family also did clean up. This is such an important video.
I missed my brothers for the same reason. I wish we had her videos 5 yrs ago!
This video is overwhelming.... but SOOO necessary! I recently got married sept.29th. In the beginning I planned to DIY most of it and have nothing but family help! After watching many of your videos I decided to hire a wedding coordinator and catering service to bus...ect! best idea/money well spent! So worth it! Myself and family were able to enjoy our day
The tighter the guest list, the BETTER! Lots of couples send out 125 invitations or more, only to have financial trouble within the first 2-3 years of marriage! C'mon & be wise people! Keep the event intimate (maybe 50 guests max) & then you can splurge a bit on a better quality honeymoon or maybe spend it on a big ticket item like a new vehicle, a larger home, or something else! Way too many folks make a really big deal about that one specific day then completely drop the ball when it comes to putting that same effort into making the marriage itself work out great. (Smh.) Don't mean to lecture here. Just saying.
Yes.
We got married with no guests at all. Just the wife and I. Was a great day! Then we invited our family and friends seperately to dinner at a nice restaurant to tell them. We saved so much money, we could afford a really nice honeymoon in Asia!
Totally worth it. 😉👍
@@saschamayer4050 It's about values and priorities. Some people value celebrating their marriage ceremony with the people who love them and have made them who they are today, other prioritize a vacation with just them and their spouse. Neither is right or wrong, it just speaks to their values and who they are as people.
This doesn't apply to everyone. Our annual household income is 400k+ and our savings collectively is about 800k so our budget is relatively loose because we're able to afford a larger wedding. People should do what works for them
@@pricklypear1111well, prickly pear, you may have earned a hefty salary, but you certainly can’t buy manners. Announcing your salary and savings is very unattractive and simply not appropriate. JS.
@@lindseybk3029 good thing I'm not trying to attract anyone 😂
I have a catering company , and it’s always interesting to see the receptions , and all the work the brides family , Djs , venue owners , bartenders , photographers , photos booths workers , bakers , etc have to go to to make this night a success . I know for us , we start early , cutting fruit for displays , wrapping dishes , packing Cambros ( hot boxes , gasing up trucks , hitching trailers , packing bins of napkins , plates , utensils , checking off HUGE list , piling people in a trucks a loading a caravan of people to a venue just to download and wait ... but it’s so worth it when the tired guests get to sit with their food and enjoy themselves ;)
I’m having my wedding and reception in the same room. 50 people total including the wedding party. “Ain’t no body got time for that”.
I found my tribe! Even told my daughter she needs to subscribe to you for overall general therapy over the next 8 mos. lol We got pictures, diagrams, inventory lists on every tote of exactly whats in it. Computer files and back up files on flash drives. We did a mock up of all the desserts and trays and labels of exactly where they go and visit the venue regularly to take pictures, check plugs etc. We went down there with a measuring tape and measured the room from every angle because they didnt know off hand square footage. its a running joke that we are going to get banned before ever having her wedding. We even gave the venue a copy of the floor diagram we made in case brides want to know in the future. So, if you ever move to Ohio and are hiring, you have my resume now. LOL
I'm in awe! That's incredible. Well done to you and your daughter 😊
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏wow
Thank you for this!
My big day is next month and I’m freaking out a bit because our bridal party will be helping with set up and tear down.
Luckily, the venue itself is nicely decorated so we aren’t having much for decor. Just some greenery and candles on our tables.
Our guest count is 75 🙏🏽
I’m praying that we can all have peace in our hearts that day and still have fun!
We did this, set up and tear down. We had some amazing friends and family essentially taking shifts to set up and take down everything. However myself and my husband did every shift. We were so tired the entire time. It looked amazing and our guests who didn't help were none the wiser. It was an entire diy wedding and cost us less than £10,000 (including our honeymoon). We were determined not to go into debt for essentially a party that took a few hours. We would rather spend that money on the marriage. So it's all swings and round abouts.
Jamie Wolfer Totally! In retrospect, if money wasn't an option I'd have a hired team to do it all. It's too easy to underestimate the amount of time and effort that goes into set up and tear down, especially with hired stuff that has to be returned clean the next day. You covered it all, but it's so funny to hear you talk about this after we've just gone through it. :)
HAHAHAHAH the OCD inside me is shaking. I wanted to organize from top-to-bottom my own wedding; print samples, create layouts, 100% DIY projects. Thankfully I came to my right senses and hired professionals to do it. So much better.
YES! It will cost at least DOUBLE the time, people think it will take. My advice is to assign all tasks to different persons. When it's more than two, have a 'fore(wo)man' for that group, who's been informed well! And one could also hire one or two people, who is/are used to working on weddings, to oversee things at dinner and clean-up. Someone who reminds everyone to scrape their plate. Someone who will make sure everything is brought to the kitchen. Someone who cleans and checks stuff, when others are watching the cutting of the cake or the first dance. We recently threw a party of just 30 people and were very happy with our choice to hire someone for a specifically busy time window of 4 hours. We could concentrate on the guests.
We just had our wedding on 11/28, and we remembered this video, and STILL were flustered the morning of setup because things took 4x longer than anticipated! I was hyper organized with lists of who will do what during what block of time, added pictures of how everything should look, and was SHOCKED that the simplest things took forevvvver. It was also raining, so our coordinator recommended we hold off on certain things ( had an outdoor backyard wedding in Seattle with 9 guests) until the rain stopped. And I absolutely agree with you that it’s frustrating that with so much detailed instructions and with pictures, that something mildly artistic could still get messed up. My husband put our ceremony garland upside down, so all the flowers were pointing up toward the sky, and he got the dimensions of the arch wrong. It was supposed to be 6 feet across and he made it 8 feet across, so it was a fat looking arch where the upside down garland didn’t span the whole length, but ugh, I’ll deal... thanks so much for all of your great help in your videos!! You kept me sane during our 11 month engagement during Covid.
After watching this I feel so reassured about what I have planned for my wedding (glorified Halloween party, very casual) but still watching every video I can on planning so I’m over prepared for the day.
This is exactly why I booked all inclusive and upgraded. We end up getting an entire extra day to set up, they handle all tear down and we just pick our items up the next day. They serve the food, bus the tables, etc, so my family can enjoy themselves. Totally worth it
My family got caught doing set up and tear down for my brothers wedding. They didn’t ask us before hand and they had no plan to where anything went and what needed to be put where. It’s SO important to communicate and be organized! We ended up being there till midnight and the wedding ended at 7. It was rough!
Tbh. I think the most overlooked is actually eating and enjoying your new husband/wife
Only if you are a bad planner and/or bad at delegating.
@@gardenjoy5223 not necessarily. You could have everything run smoothly but you get caught up in talking to people, and getting ready, etc. It doesn't have anything to do with being a bad planner or bad at delegating. It is a reality.
@@correna-lynbayduza4756 Yes, it does. The planning should allow AMPLE time for enjoying yourself, whilst eating and having quality time with your partner. If that goes out the door, either your schedule is way too full (bad planning) or you have loaded too many tasks upon yourself (bad delegating). It's really that simple. The 'reality' you describe does not have to be. Creating a different, more pleasurable reality, is found on the path of smart planning and smart delegating.
@@gardenjoy5223 As a former bridal consultant, I am telling you that no, it doesn't. I have seen time and again, where brides will not eat because of nerves, or during dinner, they are busy talking to people. I as a consultant have actually had to say to guests that want to talk to the bride and groom during eating, "would you mind just letting them eat for a few minutes, and they will be happy to chat with you after." Brides and grooms don't necessarily want to say that. So no, that is not the case.
@@correna-lynbayduza4756 What horrible wedding culture do you represent? Where guests don't know when it is time to sit down and eat? It is up to the planner to make sure these things are conveyed well. Just saying as someone who rents our halls for engagement parties and weddings. It's really not that hard. At least in Europe it isn't, and I've lived in three countries there already. Never saw a wedding, where the bride didn't get the space to eat. If that IS a problem where you live, maybe you could start a soft revolution, by Planning such a thing and Conveying it well? In the case above, at least you were there to grant them the time. That's already part of delegating well. Keep up the good work.
I ALWAYS say this in all applicable situations! Time or Money, something has to give
Wooooow, you people are crazy. In my country venues include everything. Tableware, linens, furniture, both set up and tear down, even decor. You can usually have a few classical choices to choose from (I mean, usually what you would expect from the vibe of the venue you picked), they even usually offer centerpieces though you're free to bring your own and your own decor, and they will set it up for you AND tear it up and pack it up for you. A normal, medium budget wedding, btw. A wedding in the US sounds like a nightmare!
I just want to say that I just got married this past Saturday and used SO MANY of your videos to help with my planning. Thank you so much for making such amazing content and helping so many brides ❤️❤️❤️
Yes! This video explains it so well. I didn't hire a coordinator and I had no idea what I was in for with my wedding, so I will always talk about hiring a coordinator and not working on your wedding!
My first job was with a wedding/event planner, it was fun but also a lot of work and more physically demanding than I would have expected. I had forgotten though so thank you for reminding me to consider this when it comes up for me
For my center pieces I was planning on connecting every to a board so no one has to worry about how they are set up .
“The level of chaos and mess that a group of 8 women can create in the span of 3 hours is like, next level” lol this is why I love this channel
We were leaning towards a Disney wedding so they can do literally everything for us. This just helped us lean a little further
Your videos are always so helpful! Please would you do one on having a backyard wedding. I'm hoping to have both the ceremony and the reception in my parents beautiful garden but I'm worried about if that is realistic logistically. Thank you xx
Thank you!
I think the key here is to get a venue with table/chairs included if possible (so no lugging large furniture around). If you keep centerpieces a simple bouquet per table, perhaps a few candles, it shouldn't be more than 15m set-up each with tableware/linens. And if you get 10 helpers, that's no more than half an hour. Maybe some stringlights, another half hour with that many people. Keep decoration minimal and avoid little knickknacks in favor of one-and-done pieces. Efficiency is key. Set-up is only as complicated as you make it.
Not realistic, sorry! Hope you give yourself 3 to 4x that...
@@jennifermcdaniel3910 This comment is from 3 years ago. I got married 1.5 years ago, and yes, it WAS realistic. My two bridesmaids and my mom set up the ten tables, and they got it all done in about 45 minutes. Per my comment, we kept it very simple (two small flower arrangements, a table number, and a couple candles per table). So once again I say: setup is only as complicated as you make it.
🎶 And if you dont know now you know🎶 ...and im terrified!!! Lol
Damn you are a competent and organized QUEEN. As an adhd queen I appreciate you and your skills so much wow. In awe!! You're so good at what you do!
I am SO happy you made this video!! I'm gonna watch it about 10 times, take notes, and show it to my fiance and other bride-to-be that I know. Thank you!
These are the most helpful, REALISTIC wedding planning videos I have found! THANK YOU.
When I get married I want minimal decor to make it easier at the end. I’ll ask if the venue provides crockery, glasses, table cloths, cutlery and have them clean it after (even if that costs a fee), for table decorations I just want a flower ball that people can either take home or can be disposed of after the wedding. Will make things a LOT easier. I don’t want LOADS of stuff that even if it is taken down I really don’t want to keep it all.
Can you do a video about dealing with Family who has strong feelings on things about your wedding? I just got engaged and we wanted to wait a while before diving into planning but my mother has already started looking into things and every time we talk that is all she wants to talk about. When I told her I just wanted to wait a little she says I am being irrational because it takes time. hahaha help?
My advice would be to go out for a coffee with her and talk about her expectations for the wedding, then your views, and gently tell her that you would like to be the main driver of your own wedding. Then try to work with her to make a list of a few things that you would LOVE her help on, and ask her to let you take the lead on the rest!
Venus book quickly she’s probably just worried about things being booked
I agree that she’s probably just worried about getting you booked in time . My husband and I own a catering business , and we see often how waiting too late to book your caterer etc can turn out to a pressurized , panicking situation . We had a tasting today with a couple for next year , and that date is already completely booked . They did everything else , but waited for catering last , and we nicely squeezed them into the date they wanted , but the next couple for that date will unfortunately be asked to choose a new date , or a new caterer . These brides get a jump on it early because they know they have to . If you do nothing else but put a deposit down on your venue , caterer and DJ , to lock in the date , that would serve you well 🤗hope that helps
same!! Well not my mom but other family members and friends
I just love your videos - I wish I had had them when I started doing event planning 20 years ago. You pinpoint all of the lessons I learned over countless galas and fundraisers and concerts. I remember loading stuff into my car at 2am all alone at end of my first event. I made sure to have dedicated helpers after that! Thanks for another great video and keep up the great work!
Your videos have been a lifesaver in planning my wedding! Thank you so much for taking the time to make these! You're awesome!!!!
I got anxiety just to watch this. Haha. Thanks for sharing.
Yesss this video is sooo necessary! I love that you got and set up your own stringy lights for your wedding. HUGE QUESTION about this, how long did you give yourself to set this up? How did you know how much you needed? Did you staple them? If so, how the heck to you tear that down lol
Man I'm so glad I chose an all inclusive venue
I am such a perfectionist but I purposely picked a wedding party very similar to me who are all detail oriented. Planning to have photos of everything mocked up, and we thankfully have access to our venue the night before to decorate!
We are literally paying an extra 1,000 to have our venue Friday-Sunday so our Saturday wedding can be as stress free as possible
I made a rule that was if youre in the wedding party you do set up and/or tear down. Respectfully 3 potential bridesmaids couldnt commit and i understood because they were upfront and said nope.
Wow I totally was not thinking of this at all until I saw this video. This is super important!!
Jamie, your videos are awesome! I'm planning my wedding for June 2020 and I've found your videos so realistic, down to earth, and helpful, especially the "things you guests don't give a flying fart about" video - pure gold. In line with your interest about learning how weddings go down in other countries (Hi from Ontario, Canada!), many venues here are all inclusive - i.e. they provide the food, the plates, the table clothes, the waiters, the bussers, the bar etc.- and do much of this set up and tear down for you aside from personal items like decor, florals, and gifts. There are exceptions but I would say this is the case more often than not. Such a relief to not have to worry about these things! Our venue - the Elora Mill Hotel and Spa - even provides us with both an event coordinator and a day of concierge for us to work with leading up to and on the day of our wedding. Keep up the amazing work!
Can you PLEASE do a video on a church type wedding or a backyard reception
thanks Jamie. this was a wonderful video. My wedding is on Oct 20th and I'll will be working on that day. setting up and tearing down. you gave me a bunch of new ideas to plan for. keep up the good work
I just wanna hire as much people as I can to make sure it all runs smoothly because I do not wanna do any work on my wedding day
I look forward to your video every week!!! We got luck with our venue and we can go in the day before and set up. It was the biggest reason we booked it.
I'm SOOOOOO hoping to find a venue that will allow that to happen for me. lol 🤞🏾
Yes the venue owners are amazing people and so if you book a Saturday wedding you can come on Friday at 7am to start getting things done for the next day. Asking when I could go in to set up was on my lost of questions because of you so thank you. Could everyone send good vibes or a prayer that everyone here in the panhandle is safe from the hurricane.
moni23me even of it is extra its worth it. Good Luck to you and congratulations!!!
I’ve been binge watching your videos like crazy! I’m so glad there is a channel like this! I’m going crazy wedding planning and it’s still over a year away😂
I get married on Saturday! Love your videos and this is SO helpful! Perfect timing!
I love you so much. Thank god for UA-cam. I feel so less stressed out about all wedding stuff because of people like you. My wedding is still in very early phases. We still have at least 3 years until our big day. The thing that sucks is a lot of "wedding people" when I go to expos and stuff think I'm crazy when I say that but I want a dream wedding and I'm 23 and don't make a bunch of money. We barely have extra savings. So things like this help immensely.
Jamie I’m loving your videos!! I stumbled upon your channel today when I was searching for questions for vendors and I have been watching your videos for hours now
THANK YOU for this video Jamie! I'm getting married next September and this has been one of the biggest things that trips me up. Our venue only has a day of coordinator and an assistant or two, but they're there solely to protect the venue as it's a historic building. This video is helpful in figuring out how to break it down! Thank you for sharing your expertise❤
Can I just have your wardrobe!?!? It’s lovely.
Thank you for sharing this video. It helps a lot to us women who dream of having a wonderful wedding someday.
hi ms jamie! thank u for all the wonderful videos!!! love all the videos! my wedding wont be till jan 11,2020 but i am already starting to canvass and plan since some will be diy and trying to be on a budget less than 5k. so far so good found a coordinator for only 200-250 plus venue that doesnt cost an arm and leg.... its crazy but early planning really helps and watching urvideos!
I'm sooo thankful all the venues we've looked at allow us to have access a few days before and after the wedding, we're literally diy-ing everything except the boring stuff (tables, chairs, food, I dunno, forks???) so it's gonna get craaaazy. And I'm not gonna do just a few nice vases with flowers, nooooo, that would be easy and that's.not.what.I'm.about. I'm about that high anxiety and creativity. I may have finished diy-projects I completely forgot about. It's like Christmas every time I search for something in our storage room! The projects I'm not done with included a big ass half moon that people can sit in for a photo backdrop. Bleeeesss your pretty heart for making this video!! Things I'm prepared for: how to make it pretty and how to get the pretty home. Things I wasn't prepared for until this point: trash!?plates?!bar?!moving chairs?!washing dishes?!
I'm gonna be sooo organized in a years time just you wait!
I've been watching your videos since I started planning my wedding in May. I am 4 weeks away from the big day now. This is my favorite video! Thank you, so helpful!
Hat/hair combo is super cute in this video!
I'm so glad most of this doesnt apply to me lol my venue requires we use them for food and alcohol, they're in charge of bussing, set up and tear down. And we have a small guest list lol
Your videos are helping me so much!! Thank you!!
Just found you after I've searched on youtube for money saving ideas for my wedding.
I feel very lucky to have a photographer friend, parents who do catering, future sister in law who makes cakes and future niece who is a hair dresser.
I found my dress today and put down a deposit, but theres so much more to it.....i have so many questions about things about if they are really needed, like.....do i actually need centre pieces? How on earth do you come up with a table plan? Do i really need every chair to have a cover and sash?
I love planning but wow.....this is a big task haha
I'm not Jamie, but I absolutely do not plan on using chair covers or chair sashes. I also will have extremely minimal centerpieces. It's not necessary, but just realize your pictures and the "ambiance" will feel a little different and slightly less fancy without those types of things.
Mom jokes cracked me up 🤣
I don't even want a wedding now 😂 it's too messy!
From an event planner, two hours is not a lot for set up at all
Just discovered this channel and it is delightful! You’re so nice and helpful! 💕✨
I feel like I've watched all your videos lol. My wedding is two months away and these tips are helpful! More please 🙂😃
Your wedding looked beautiful! Please make a video of things you've seen at weddings that you thought were great and maybe a bit different.
I’ve been binge watching your videos and am planning a wedding for this fall. I love you. Thank you. I had no idea there were videos like this for wedding planning. Amazing!
What appetizers did you DIY? Can you do a video about that? :) I'm thinking about doing some of that with cold appetizers.
Jamie!!!! I'm two years away from our wedding. Long engagement, I know but I honestly need the time and save more for this tiny thing we are doing.
We have like 25 guests and since it's my second wedding we are paying for all of it. It's a courthouse wedding so that only leaves me with making the reception the way I want it. This is the first wedding I do myself (long story, don't ask). I'm already mostly done with the planning but I'm aware things will change in 2 years but that is why I'm planning now, also I'm DIYing everything. Cake, food, appetizers, decorations and all that jazz. Obviously fam will help, like my mom will make the rice lol but I'm responsible for it all.... Help!? 😂
I'm gonna have to get tables, chairs and linens rented but that's no biggie at all. I know where to go and when. I think I might be freaking out...
I’m not even engaged or close to it but I’ve been binge watching your videos all day lol
I feel like I have been waiting forever for a new video! I was just sitting here wondering when Jaime was going to post again.
Hello, newly engaged here (Oct.2) and now I'm really wondering if I'm going to be a diy bride or whether I'm gonna need to fork over the money to make it get done without me lol
moni23me we got engaged on the 5th! Congrats to you!
@@Paige-zr6pn awwww yay!!! I wish you as little stress as possible
@@JamieWolfer yes that's good advice. thank you
Amen sister!!!!
Thanks for posting all these wonderful videos. I’m getting married in the spring and my venue is inexpensive because it is in a state park. I wanted to ask your advice about paying for an extra day before to set everything up. Do you think it would be worth it? Even if I rent the facility for 2 days it will still be under budget for me.
I looooove your channel, found it yesterday and I’m devouring your videos😍 Ps. I like that in every video your hair is style in a different way hahahaha
Love your videos. Question- if hiring a month of coordinator, would this person set up the DIY decor?
I love your videos! Just got engaged and these videos have been so helpful
My decor ppl are charging me so much for delivery, set up and pick up i let them know i have alot of DIY to set up and since i hired her to be my day of coordinator hopefully i dont have to worry about anything 😩
This just gave me anxiety 😱
This is SO importat!
oh gawd, these videos are giving me anxiety.... so much stuff to think about.
Jaime, do you have any tips or any videos for a PLANNED ELOPEMENT because that’s what I’m doing right now and it’s still stressing me out.
WOW. Can I just say... you're amazing!?
Free labor is a no no for so many reasons.
What do you recommend for tipping vendors? Which vendors?
How common is it to find a venue that would allow you set up the night before?
Where did you get the pumpkins for the center pieces?
Is it worth it to pay extra to have the venue do setup and tear down for you?
What if I am doing an outdoor wedding (airbnb) ranch... do I need a generator for the DJ? Or does the DJ brings its own??
Probably will vary DJ to DJ...
Where did you have your wedding where you had to DIY the set up and take down? I've been in two weddings, and both the venue did the set up and tear down for you... it was included in the price. One of the venues was on the pricier side, the other was on the cheaper side. In fact, at the wedding with the cheaper venue, me, along with the other members of the wedding party began to throw away trash, help clean up, etc. But, one of the venue staff asked us to stop because that was someone else's job.
I don't doubt it can be the case where you have to DIY your own set up and take down. I'm just wondering where that was.
Well this is extremely overwhelming to hear 😅
After all of these videos I don't even wanna get married anymore. It sounds so stressfull and I know I don't have friends and family who wanna help that much.
Omg what the heck do u people be doing!! I have never ever ever heard or seen this craziness.. I have planned at least 7 weddings and 3 soon 4 sweet 16 which is about the same.. Set up is fun so much fun me and my kids had a ball.. Music food and sign and dance it out.. I'm so confused !!