WHO SHOULD YOU INVITE?! Guest List Do's and Don'ts

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  • Опубліковано 20 чер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 626

  • @Alicia-K
    @Alicia-K 5 років тому +1129

    "If they haven't affected your life or your fiance's life, then you don't need to invite them." Bingo

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому +1

      My Beba Life so true!

    • @ModernLady
      @ModernLady 5 років тому +16

      What if those people are close family though?

    • @shaylamoore2220
      @shaylamoore2220 4 роки тому +22

      Well then I guess no one would be at my wedding 🤣😭

    • @kailebrogan447
      @kailebrogan447 4 роки тому +5

      Call me crazy. But if they are your bosses and helped finance it...maybe invite them? But maybe that's just me

    • @MCA_Lives
      @MCA_Lives 3 роки тому

      If they haven’t affected my life, well that’s damn near everyone except family

  • @bubblesngirlystuff
    @bubblesngirlystuff 4 роки тому +691

    My fiance and I both have pretty big Latino families. So the "one aunt, all aunts" doesn't work. We came up with a rule saying if we've never been invited to one of their parties (bday, baptism, showers, etc), or can't name all of their kids we won't be sending and invite. Might ruffle some feathers but 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @lilyobrien3264
      @lilyobrien3264 4 роки тому +19

      bubblesngirlystuff I agree. I have a large family with a lot of kids and that’s not happing. I’m inviting my siblings and my nieces and nephews that live under my siblings roof or your not coming

    • @Jacquiggl
      @Jacquiggl 4 роки тому +24

      bubblesngirlystuff I’m thinking of inviting primos hermanos and not second cousins lol Latinos families are huge!

    • @sonnyteniya
      @sonnyteniya 3 роки тому +7

      I'm not even getting married but, if it ever comes up, this comment is it 👏👏👏👏

    • @carolinaruiz3899
      @carolinaruiz3899 3 роки тому +13

      This is a great advice. I’m latina as well and I just counted 86 guests from my dad’s side only (uncles, aunts, and cousins )😭😭😭 Even tho my dad is very closed to all of them, I’m not. I don’t even know all my nephews and nieces names, and my parents are expecting me to invite all of them.

    • @ashleyeliza0608
      @ashleyeliza0608 3 роки тому

      That’s so smart! I come from a big family also & that is what we ended up doing.

  • @o0Theresa0o
    @o0Theresa0o 5 років тому +647

    I did e-vites to my wedding. Best. Decision. Ever. Since it was an easy click to say yes or no, everyone RSVP'd early and almost right away. I also didn't have to spend the time finding addresses before the wedding (I collected addresses for personalized thank yous afterward, but it was during a time when I was way less stressed out), and I didn't mail out a bunch of paper people would throw away anyway. I also saved a boatload of money, and no one really cared.
    For future brides out there - seriously consider e-vites. Sure, it's not traditional. But it's far more economical, environmentally friendly, and WAY less stressful.

    • @savannahcoleman5672
      @savannahcoleman5672 5 років тому +10

      Yes! E-vite is great. I used this for graduation and got most of my responses the first day and then within the first week. After that, it was just a matter of sending a group e-mail which is possible through e-vite reminding them to give a response, or calling up the few who did not.

    • @o0Theresa0o
      @o0Theresa0o 5 років тому +11

      Ah, yes. I forgot about the ease in which I was able to remind people. I was also able to send updates to everyone immediately.
      Truthfully, I think people appreciated it more than paper invites, too. They didn't have to find the time to get to a mailbox. They didn't have to put my stuff in the trash. It was all easily available on their computer. It was simpler.
      I'd say the only downside was that it was also easier for people to cancel. I think people might have been less inclined to cancel if they had to put more effort into it (or otherwise they would have simply no-showed and I wouldn't have known at all... so maybe it was actually still better).
      In any case, if I were to do it all over again (even with an unlimited budget), I would do e-vites again.

    • @ueitipulepule5064
      @ueitipulepule5064 5 років тому +5

      Trickius hi.. just wanted to which e-invite software/program please. I’m in Australia and tried a few but they were more geared to the U.S. and their apps are not available in Australia. Thanks in advance

    • @bioshockbrat9171
      @bioshockbrat9171 5 років тому +2

      I'm hoping to do a Facebook event type thing and have them do e-vites through that. I will do negotiations on plus ones, as I want close family and friends. If you want to bring a friend run it by me and we will see what can do. Is it weird that I want to invite a few high school teachers, as my boyfriend and I met in some of their classes?

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому

      Trickius I was thinking of doing mail out the STDs and invites but doing online RSVP’s for mine (when I get engaged/married lol)

  • @brookemechelle1457
    @brookemechelle1457 5 років тому +738

    I’m not anywhere near getting married but I still watch all of your videos 😂

    • @troybolton6444
      @troybolton6444 5 років тому +44

      That’s me I’m literally 17 and single

    • @solointheburbs
      @solointheburbs 5 років тому +1

      Me as well

    • @bioshockbrat9171
      @bioshockbrat9171 5 років тому +4

      I'm getting married in 3 years and I'm planning ahead as I'm in a very rare state of my life where I'm just sitting on my ass, whereas after my fiance gets out of school then I'm going to start post secondary and have zero time to do anything. Except work and school then work and find a place of our own

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому +4

      Brooke Mechelle honestly it’s better to know these things so if a friend gets married U know what advice to give! :) 💖

    • @xxitzmissunknownxx4041
      @xxitzmissunknownxx4041 4 роки тому +1

      Sameee😂I'm 15

  • @tashawilliams8093
    @tashawilliams8093 3 роки тому +152

    The groom and bride are NOT obligated to invite everyone they've ever known.

  • @misskimberly5
    @misskimberly5 5 років тому +872

    Would I take them to dinner & pay for it?? Really good point!!

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому +2

      misskimberly5 honestly such a good point

    • @sgtducky312
      @sgtducky312 5 років тому +2

      That’s how I have looked at it since day one. Lol but I work in the bridal industry.

    • @Andi-ll1fh
      @Andi-ll1fh 4 роки тому +1

      I pay for everyone's dinner (/.\)

    • @lehcar3209
      @lehcar3209 4 роки тому

      misskimberly5 game changer for me

    • @kaylarose9012
      @kaylarose9012 4 роки тому +7

      So I have a 3 person guest list then 😂

  • @shaylamitchell3160
    @shaylamitchell3160 4 роки тому +313

    Within the first month of my engagement, anyone who saw my ring would try to invite themselves

    • @abigailashby6347
      @abigailashby6347 4 роки тому +16

      I know the feeling.

    • @Enzo_thesamoyed
      @Enzo_thesamoyed 4 роки тому +4

      Omg me too! Congrats btw!

    • @CheyBudgets
      @CheyBudgets 4 роки тому +7

      This happened to us as well we weren’t sure how to answer it so have just said we have a set amount of guests and can’t go over most of them make up the family on both sides

    • @helenameyer9778
      @helenameyer9778 4 роки тому +27

      I have a general rule against not (even jokingly) saying "I better be invited" to people in my life who get engaged (which hasn't been many yet...) because that makes it awkward for them if they weren't going to invite me. I'm not offended if people don't want me to come or can't afford to invite everyone they want. I was surprised enough when one of my old work-buddies invited me to her wedding (WITH A PLUS 1) because I knew they didn't have tons of money to spend. It's their day and it's up to them (and their wallets) who they want to invite.
      TL;DR - I don't ask to be invited....even jokingly. It's just awkward.

    • @starrydayshine
      @starrydayshine 4 роки тому +1

      Sis, I feel ya.

  • @OliviaJones-fd6fi
    @OliviaJones-fd6fi 5 років тому +344

    Umm...Can we talk about your top? That color is amazing on you.

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому

      Olivia Menchaca right?! I’d love for her to do a closet tour!

    • @JessentialLife
      @JessentialLife 4 роки тому

      Yea, it's sooooo pretty! She is too, though 🥂

  • @warcraftnut1354
    @warcraftnut1354 5 років тому +237

    We're paying for our wedding therefore WE HAVE THE VETO POWER. Also thanks for the video.

    • @neurologylove2135
      @neurologylove2135 4 роки тому +1

      Same!

    • @darcyferrigno
      @darcyferrigno 4 роки тому +4

      Yes! I wish more people embraced this. My first wedding I invited people I didn't want or really need there. (Mainly because of the ex) But this time around we are doing what we want :)

  • @TheKiknessa
    @TheKiknessa 5 років тому +174

    Lol totally breaking the cousin rule. I'm only having 60 guests and i have more than 60 cousins (yes first cousins and not including the 30+spouses on top of that) so I'm absolutely picking and choosing

    • @abeejalan7444
      @abeejalan7444 5 років тому +10

      Same. My family is massive. I’m inviting maybe a handful of relatives but I’m also thinking of having a list for after dinner only. A coworker did that so she could still have a lot of people but could actually afford to serve a dinner

    • @esterixis
      @esterixis 4 роки тому +10

      @Jessica Robidas same here; way more than 60 1st cousins. I invited 4 of them; one declined because it was "adults only." Sorry, but I refused to stress out over kids running into the wedding cake(BTW, it happened at another wedding, BEFORE the reception even started!).

  • @BriVanHorn97
    @BriVanHorn97 4 роки тому +60

    As a wedding guest, I usually just assume that I’m not invited until the invitation shows up. I’ve had hurt feelings before over not being invited to a wedding, so now to avoid that I just assume I will be spending the evening at home. 😂

    • @oracleofdewphi
      @oracleofdewphi 23 дні тому

      Same! One friend posted two save the dates on social media where I could see it, and I wasn’t invited. He invited everyone else in our social group, and I don’t know what I did wrong, if anything.

  • @tiffanyt4805
    @tiffanyt4805 3 роки тому +73

    Covid is a great excuse to keep your guest count extra special and small!

  • @lauramae554
    @lauramae554 5 років тому +243

    We ended up saying to my husbands mom only the people who he’s seen in the past two years would be invited.
    Or if he was walking down the street he’d know who they were and would say hi and have an actual conversation with.
    She was trying to invite people he hasn’t seen since he was extremely little and had no clue who they were🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    • @Paige-zr6pn
      @Paige-zr6pn 5 років тому +15

      Laura Mae thanks for this tip! Im nervous to deal with that because when his mom and I have chatted wedding guests, she mentions people he hasn’t seen in ages. Him and I have an idea of who we want to invite and she’d like to add probably 20 extra people. (I want a smaller more intimate wedding so 20 is a lot) Yours is a good rule to have and may help me hold my ground.

    • @Bubblepoppin2
      @Bubblepoppin2 5 років тому +6

      I disagree with the parents comment, I think if parents are giving money to you as a gift for your wedding day and not something with strings attached (within reason of course), you shouldn't have to compromise on your friends not being their so theirs can be. But that is my opinion, however yes if they want to bring a few close family friends bite your tongue totally agree!

    • @Delphadae
      @Delphadae 5 років тому +14

      My fiance's mom was mentioning a bunch of aunts, uncles, and cousins when we were talking about our guestlist. At one point my fiance says "Uncle so-and-so, I havent seen him since I was a kid..." We both want a small wedding with only friends and family closest to us... So it'll be a conversation we might have to have with her if she keeps bringing it up :/ (my fiance and I are pretty much paying for the wedding ourself. It would be different if his parents were paying for some of it, but..yeah. It's stressful)

    • @sarahlara8420
      @sarahlara8420 5 років тому +2

      this is my biggest fear!

    • @falloncarrington4702
      @falloncarrington4702 5 років тому +20

      @@Delphadae What I would say is sure, invite whoever you want. The cost for inviting one person is this and this. If you definitely want this person there you can cover their fee as I have a limited budget and I don't know them that well. Budget and limited venue size are the best ways to say no.

  • @kaitlyns8105
    @kaitlyns8105 Рік тому +14

    My rule of thumb for the invite list is if I haven't seen or spoken to them in the last two year (3 with Covid) then they aren't invited. A wedding isn't a reunion for your extended family, it's to celebrate the couple. It shouldn't end up being a "If you don't invite your Great Aunt Bessy, then when else will we get to see her?" situation. Your relatives are perfectly capable of planning a reunion to see their own family members on their own time.

    • @user-cu6yl2kt3v
      @user-cu6yl2kt3v 7 місяців тому

      While I agree to an extent, I also feel that couples have the rest of their lives to party with their social set of friends but only one wedding day, and that day should be about family. You exclude Great Aunt Bessy so as to invite your friends and chances are your friends won't even notice this much less be grateful. But the Aunties and other members of "the older set" WILL notice that you have excluded your own friends so as to allow family to gather on this special day. And be grateful to you. Many friends fall away as your life changes, but family is there for you when most need them.

  • @patriciamonique47
    @patriciamonique47 5 років тому +122

    This is the hardest decision to make. You want to please everyone but you just can’t.

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому +2

      Monique Avisan ugh so true! It can be so difficult!

    • @marisolsoprano
      @marisolsoprano 4 роки тому +3

      Oh it's impossible to please everyone that's why it's okay to not care if people get offended. 🤷

  • @evelgreytarot8401
    @evelgreytarot8401 5 років тому +75

    How many people here don't even have a partner but are just watching these? Just me? Ok.

  • @AmandaZooKeeper
    @AmandaZooKeeper 4 роки тому +10

    My fiancé and I are inviting whom we want to, and not inviting whom we don't want to. It is our wedding and that's as it should be. If anyone doesn't like our decisions, that's their problem.

    • @user-cu6yl2kt3v
      @user-cu6yl2kt3v 7 місяців тому

      If you wouldn't make a speech to all your guests announcing "I invited all my sibling except Lisa because she's such a bitch," then invite Lisa. It is always incorrect to use your wedding guest list to excite malicious speculation on WHY this or that conspicuous omission.

  • @squirrelchick22
    @squirrelchick22 5 років тому +322

    My wife and I didn't invite 1 of her grandmothers because she was making homophobic comments about us before we sent invites. (We're both women) Neither of us regret it because it definitely changed her attitude towards me.

    • @yagirltay3413
      @yagirltay3413 5 років тому +21

      Dude, she must be such a sucky lady. I’m glad you gals didn’t let her rain on your parade!

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому +5

      Ashley Struck that’s so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry Ashley!

    • @syndabe1555
      @syndabe1555 5 років тому +21

      Good for you! It’s a very special day and NOBODY that’s unsupportive should be there to bring you down. I have a non existent relationship with my sister in law because she’s very malicious and blatantly rude to the whole family. I told my brother he could come but she’s absolutely not allowed. It’s hard when it’s a situation like that but this is my day and if my brother chooses not to come because of that, I completely understand. I can’t choose if she shows up to family functions normally but that’s the one day I can choose to be surrounded with nothing but love and support with no negativity.

    • @cordelialauryn1197
      @cordelialauryn1197 5 років тому +7

      This is the problem we are having right now too :( I’m so glad that it worked out for you!

    • @anubis.monster
      @anubis.monster 4 роки тому +15

      Good on you for standing your ground! I’m having the same issue, except I’m not inviting my father. A lot of people are upset with me because of it, but he has been openly and aggressively homophobic and transphobic (me and my fiancé are both trans men) to my face, and we don’t talk anymore. So. He’s not coming. It’s our special day, and I don’t want someone coming who disapproves of us and will rain on our parade. Blood or not.

  • @lauramae554
    @lauramae554 5 років тому +338

    Have you done a what a guest should wear video???
    I was at a wedding this past weekend and someone showed up in ALL WHITE!!!! Like wtf?

    • @KriziaIra
      @KriziaIra 5 років тому +17

      I also heard red should not be worn because it stands out in pictures!?
      However I have definitely seen this at several weddings.

    • @chloegilroy8422
      @chloegilroy8422 5 років тому +24

      I've seen some truly awful ones here in Ireland, tiny mini dresses slit all the way up the thigh. If the girl moves the wrong way everything is on display. Now I know it's her body to dress how she wants but c'mon it's the couples wedding day, surely they should be the main topic of conversation 🤔😂

    • @lauramae554
      @lauramae554 5 років тому +12

      Jamie Wolfer I’ve already told my matron and maid of honor that if someone shows up in white to Nicely ask them to go change or leave. I actually specifically said to wear darker colors on my wedding website. 🙈

    • @lauramae554
      @lauramae554 5 років тому +7

      Krizia Ira I’m actually okay with red, it’s one of my favorite colors haha
      But the guest should know a bright red dress you can see a mile away isn’t the best idea...

    • @drabby7925
      @drabby7925 5 років тому +3

      Lol I’ve asked my sisters to pick out a white dress each.

  • @jimsvideos7201
    @jimsvideos7201 5 років тому +118

    I appreciate your diplomacy; this is no doubt a big stressor for many couples.

  • @christinavelasquez64
    @christinavelasquez64 5 років тому +51

    Damn she said all the cousins. I don't even know half my cousins😂

    • @bladynebula346
      @bladynebula346 4 роки тому

      Same

    • @HUNTLOW_LUMITY4EVER
      @HUNTLOW_LUMITY4EVER 3 роки тому +1

      Half of mine are abroad and I don’t think I wanna fly them out if I decided to get married, but then again I love my aunt and she practically helped raise me so I would be sad if she couldn’t be there so maybe an exception for the ones I hold close to my heart

    • @tashawilliams8093
      @tashawilliams8093 2 роки тому

      Exactly.

  • @SummerRuby86
    @SummerRuby86 4 роки тому +42

    Man! I would have no idea what it would be like to have "too many people" to consider... we're struggling to get 30 people!

    • @shaylamoore2220
      @shaylamoore2220 4 роки тому +3

      Jacque Diane same and I’m kind of sad about it 🤣

    • @SjofnBM1989
      @SjofnBM1989 4 роки тому +2

      Some people have really big families.

  • @bethanyhanna9464
    @bethanyhanna9464 4 роки тому +30

    When I was younger, this list would have really come in handy. Since I'm older, not only are most of the extended family dead, but we're making the cut at those who've paid an ounce of attention to us in the past decade. 🤣😂🤣
    Kids are welcome at our wedding. But that's because the numbers are reduced at the other end of the age spectrum.
    We've also figured out the loophole about keeping the numbers down, by having a sober wedding. It's surprising how many people just won't come, if they can't get drunk. 😇

  • @staarvsraainbow
    @staarvsraainbow 4 роки тому +5

    My friends got married this summer, the grim invited a friend who just assumed that he had a plus one. They texted about a week before the wedding & the friend was talking about their plus one attending...& he had to tell him that only he was invited. He said to me that he would have said yes to a plus one for him if he asked nicely, but he didn’t like the way he went about it.

  • @Cherrybubbles321
    @Cherrybubbles321 5 років тому +65

    Here is the problem... I don't want certain family members there but this would affect other family members. Idk how to deal with this

    • @gracegroom8700
      @gracegroom8700 5 років тому +15

      I'm getting married in August and dealing with the same thing. I'm definitely breaking some of these rules. I'm only inviting two cousins and one set of my Aunt's and Uncles.
      I knew one of my aunt's would be very offended I made a point to call her and explain the situation. I told her and get husband that I care about them and it wasn't a reflection of our relationship (kinda was) and that we just wanted a very small and intimate wedding. They totally understood but even if they hadn't then it puts the pressure on them to act as adults because you have been so respectful towards them and their feelings. My other aunts and uncles aren't offended that they are not being invited at all and they're actually throwing me a wedding shower for the people that can't come. It was all their idea and it worked out really well. I wish the best for you! I hope maybe some part of this helped you

    • @catieq5270
      @catieq5270 4 роки тому +3

      little kitty it’s your day!!!!!! Do whatever makes you happy

    • @EternalSnoie
      @EternalSnoie 4 роки тому +4

      destination weddings tend to help cut some members who cant go.

    • @YourDailyDoseofJillish
      @YourDailyDoseofJillish 3 роки тому

      Yeah, my uncle is a hoarder and I don't really want him at my wedding. Every other person is invited though, so idk what to do. He might be homeless at the point I'm sending invites though, so it might not be a problem

  • @BrigitteDiessl
    @BrigitteDiessl 5 років тому +18

    When I got married 25 years ago, we started off by making a list of people we couldn't not invite - family, family friends, best friends etc and then went from there. That was a really helpful way. Each venue has a number limit.

  • @jackelinemorales116
    @jackelinemorales116 4 роки тому +14

    Not inviting my family because they never have anything positive to say and every time they get together drama ensues

  • @gabymont4811
    @gabymont4811 4 роки тому +8

    I'm gonna be hurting so many feelings when I get married 😎

  • @kasashaasreadingjournal3446
    @kasashaasreadingjournal3446 3 роки тому +30

    I honestly don't care if I offend anyone regarding wedding invites 🤣 if they want to get offended, let them 🤣

  • @theZmoee
    @theZmoee 2 роки тому +15

    A lot of these seem silly to me. If I’m closer with one cousin, coworker, teammate, neighbor than I am with others, who cares if they’re upset about not being invited? The only people I want there are the people I love the most, the people who have been there for us, the people we know will help us have the best time possible. I’m not inviting my aunt I hate just because he’s inviting his favorite uncle 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @jbrown7986
    @jbrown7986 5 років тому +79

    Please do a video on the day-of wedding timeline.

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому

      Jerome Brown yes that would be fun to watch

    • @JessentialLife
      @JessentialLife 4 роки тому

      I agree!

    • @marisolsoprano
      @marisolsoprano 4 роки тому +2

      It's up! It's called how to build a wedding timeline! 🙌

  • @brandimarie2400
    @brandimarie2400 4 роки тому +14

    1 member of my family has a habit of inviting their own people to events. For perspective, my engagement party had about 40 people invited, a few missing here and there. NOW we are supposed to fit almost 100 people in a backyard for the engagement party.
    I am so worried about what they are going to do to my wedding day and just how mean I am going to have to get...

  • @aurorapiaggesi
    @aurorapiaggesi 3 роки тому +3

    My fiancé and I decided to drop altogether the "Plus-ones" if those people are not part of our lives. Any guest cost 100 euros, and we don't feel like inviting people we barely know just because they live with our friends. The same for kids: there is no child that we would miss if they did not come, and a bored kid can be really the worst. So they are not invited. People are so relieved when we say that: :-)

  • @ilya7314
    @ilya7314 5 років тому +10

    This was in my recommended.......I'm 13 (still watching it tho)

  • @marta0929
    @marta0929 5 років тому +19

    I've been married for almost 7 years, I have no intention of doing a wedding but I cant stop watching your videos. It is so entertaining :D

    • @marta0929
      @marta0929 5 років тому +1

      yes seriously, I binge watch your videos :D

  • @jamjamjamjam25
    @jamjamjamjam25 5 років тому +10

    This is why I believe in destination weddings, most of the people you feel obligated to invite but don’t really want to come probably won’t pay for a plane ticket to attend.

  • @danielleroberts1312
    @danielleroberts1312 5 років тому +72

    So Jamie, here is my idea:
    I have a huge family. For just my graduation party there were over 200 people there who were just in state family (of which I knew like 50 including my friends) but for my wedding I want something much smaller and intimate with people I feel comfortable around not just obligated to invite.
    However I know that if I went that route that A TON of people would be upset for not receiving an invitation.
    So I was thinking that I might have a winter destination wedding. From what I've been told is that with destination weddings you should expect about a 50% (give or take) attendance rate. Then add in it being around the holiday's and it goes down even more so in the end only the people who really love and care about me and him will make an effort to be there.
    So that way everyone gets invited but most of the "2nd cousins twice removed" bunch won't bother to come.
    If any of the people we want there can't afford it we will cover financially (since we will only have like 50 people there vs 500) and if any family we aren't very close to still takes the time and money to come then we are happy to have you.
    What do you think Jamie? 😂 Terrible idea or a winter wedding wonderland?

    • @angelacartiglia
      @angelacartiglia 5 років тому +4

      Danii Popss I love this too!! Congratulations ✨

    • @tianahunstable4539
      @tianahunstable4539 5 років тому +6

      Okay. But you have to realize that some of the second cousins and whatnot might just RSVP with a yes. Some people may be more family oriented or sentimental and feel like they NEED to be there.

    • @ThaoNguyen-hl6mb
      @ThaoNguyen-hl6mb 5 років тому +2

      That's what I want, too. I once told my bf that my dream is to have a destination wedding in Viet Nam (my home country) and I would cover for my family the best vacation there is. He started looking quite pale but then I told him the flight alone costs like $2000 while staying local is practically cheap. It's a win-win situation: still destination wedding, fewer expecting guests but closer to home and lesser planning expense...

    • @BlackRosary81
      @BlackRosary81 5 років тому

      Danii Popss I think it’s a great idea and I wish I could have done it but too many elderly in my family that are too sick to travel. But I hope it works for you bc I come from a huge family too so I’m just expecting some feelings to be hurt because I cannot afford a wedding for 300 people. Good luck!

    • @toocutenoirb.4278
      @toocutenoirb.4278 5 років тому +8

      Be careful. I actually thought of that. But a lot on my dads side (ex military) they all traveled for my dads and were willing for my sisters wedding I mean they planned carpools and hotels together. -_- So if they really carer about you they may surprise you and make a way to show up. My sister planned a 60 person wedding out of state thinking not many would go on a trip or go on a cruise wedding (they toyed with going to the Bahamas)....But 210 ppl RSVP'd (that was just our family NOT including the grooms side). lets just end it with they eloped. cause the family is very close and supportive and she did wanna spend that much. So there may still be people willing to go for you big day cause its you and they care.

  • @kainatxkay
    @kainatxkay 5 років тому +24

    So awkward because my coworkers have been pestering me to invite them to my wedding EVERY time my engagement is brought up. My family and fiancé's family is already 220 people. That does not include friends and close family friends. The guest limit is 300. Work is gonna get awkward, but I just don't have enough room to invite them. 😬 Thank you for your awesome tips always!!

    • @TheUnveiledBride
      @TheUnveiledBride 4 роки тому +6

      Kainat Qurashi Just tell them soon so it doesn’t keep building up! Maybe you can let them throw a little celebration for you at work? Everyone loves parties, and that way they will feel involved!

    • @sableann4255
      @sableann4255 3 роки тому +3

      I went through that...Only invite close co-workers, it's a tough spot to be in! :)

    • @rezaeaforoutan8914
      @rezaeaforoutan8914 Рік тому +1

      Could ask them if they going to help with your wedding. A crowd like that people need help! Especially when you’re setting a specific limit

    • @kphoria1009
      @kphoria1009 Рік тому

      don’t invite all your family members lol

  • @Septic-Hearts
    @Septic-Hearts 3 роки тому +3

    When I was in High School two of my teachers got married over a summer in a completely different state. When they came back they had to deal with a bunch of students asking why they didn't get an invite. Most were just joking and offered their congratulations but my teachers were pretty open about how ridiculous they thought it was for some students to actually be offended for not getting an invite. One of them put it simply: "I'm only here because I have to be, outside of this, I don't want to see any of you. If you ever see me in public, chuck up a peace sign and go your merry way." I've lived by that statement ever since, and will surely use it if I ever get married.

  • @megantaylor2871
    @megantaylor2871 5 років тому +30

    Currently wedding planning. This is an actual conversation:
    Wedding planner: How many guests are we expecting?
    My mom: 200-300
    Me: WHAT? Woah I wanted to cap it at 150.
    My mom: Well of course we’re inviting the church (500+ people) and the practice (small town doctor’s office) so yeah. At least 200. Probably more.
    Me (an introvert): *dies on the church carpet*

    • @giannag4917
      @giannag4917 4 роки тому +21

      Put your foot down. Cap it. That is way too many people. It's your wedding

    • @TheUnveiledBride
      @TheUnveiledBride 4 роки тому +3

      Megan Kirkendall Oh no! My suggestion is to give her a certain number of people she can invite (a number that you actually feel comfortable with) and then she can pick and chose who is the most important to her! If she really wants to celebrate with EVERYONE, maybe she can throw a separate celebration? That way your wedding day is comfortable for you but she can still celebrate you.

  • @amandac57999
    @amandac57999 4 роки тому +4

    What about people your fiancé hasn’t met? Distant family, coworkers you like and see outside of work sometimes, etc ?

  • @rachaelbencic740
    @rachaelbencic740 3 роки тому +2

    I come from a big family that is not very close (11 aunts and uncles + spouses and ex's)... There will not be many who receive invitations (same goes for cousins)... All the power to all those who have normal, loving extended families! Enjoy your weddings!

  • @gracefisher1950
    @gracefisher1950 5 років тому +39

    You should make a video on what guest should wear to weddings!

    • @glamgirl7779
      @glamgirl7779 5 років тому

      Grace Fisher yes esp for formal vs black tie vs casual!

    • @FreyaxXxChii
      @FreyaxXxChii 5 років тому +4

      I was wondering whether I should leave a remark on the invitations that I do not want other women to wear super fancy gowns in white/ivory/blush/...
      A friend was at a wedding where a girl was wearing a light pink gown with lace on the bodice and with a flower crown updo. And her dress had a freaking TRAIN. Srsly, on the black&white photos you mistake her for the bride.

    • @flamered1532honey
      @flamered1532honey 5 років тому +2

      @@FreyaxXxChii i actually put that in our invitations,.
      To wear: any shade of violet/purple/lavender will be appreciated but optional
      NOT TO WEAR : WHITE,CREAM, BEIGE,RED AND BLACK DRESS IS A NO-NO!
      And even with that there were people asking still if they can wear red, 🙄. Haha
      😂😂😂 i'm not being a bridzilla, but it's better to put it in writing because some people don't know that those color is not good to wear in a wedding (except maybe for black, that's just me, because it give me the feels of a funeral)

  • @lexie3005
    @lexie3005 2 роки тому +3

    Planning this guest list is truly my nightmare. I’m trying my hardest to get through it and hope that it’s all smooth sailing from there. Thank you for the tips.

  • @midorielizabeth5162
    @midorielizabeth5162 5 років тому +16

    My rsvp response date was yesterday and I have about 100 people I haven’t heard from. 🙄 time to chase people.

    • @marisolsoprano
      @marisolsoprano 4 роки тому +3

      Tell them you won't have a seat for them if they don't RSVP. See how fast they'll respond. 😂

  • @kairinaminemix
    @kairinaminemix 5 років тому +4

    I have a ton of cousins and uncles and aunts that I would never invite to dinner and pay for, BUT my parents are basically gonna punish me if I don’t invite them 🙁

  • @BriannaGraceOfficial
    @BriannaGraceOfficial 5 років тому +29

    YESSS. Thank you for this. The inviting kids thing is probably a soft spot for my family, but I don't plan on inviting them. Also for the plus one thing... And for the idea of if you went to a friend's wedding within the last 18 months to keep them on the list. Didn't even think of that!

    • @user-cu6yl2kt3v
      @user-cu6yl2kt3v 7 місяців тому

      Right. Singles may be invited as singles. And hosts may invite a special friend for SOME guests without an obligation to invite a special friend EVERY unmarried guest.

  • @Baxterthewaggster
    @Baxterthewaggster 5 років тому +18

    This is the only thing stressing me out...

  • @Hey-Mr.DJ_PlayThatSong
    @Hey-Mr.DJ_PlayThatSong 4 роки тому +1

    These are great points that apply to almost any event’s guest list. Thank you!!

  • @ClevelandLeah
    @ClevelandLeah 5 років тому

    So needed this right now- THANK YOU!!

  • @Alicia-K
    @Alicia-K 5 років тому

    This was soooo helpful! This has been the most stressful part to me. Thank you!

  • @BrittanyShae
    @BrittanyShae 4 роки тому +8

    I love this video because it has helped me consider who I plan on inviting. I was on the fence about my dad (he didn’t attend my graduation despite being invited), but I’m going to. I would pay for his dinner. Despite his downfalls in recent years, he has impacted me. Thank you sooo much for this video!

  • @brodee.morgan
    @brodee.morgan 3 роки тому +2

    watching all your videos talking about how so many people don’t rsvp/how to save money on your wedding/things your guests dgaff about/etc. really makes me want to do e-vites instead 😂😂

  • @skyecuteclouds
    @skyecuteclouds 4 роки тому +1

    OMG THANK YOU. Upcoming wedding. Lots of people ... :D You help SO MUCH

  • @itsjenessaxx132
    @itsjenessaxx132 5 років тому

    Absolutely love your tips and tricks, they are so helpful!!

  • @TamaraJayne85
    @TamaraJayne85 5 років тому +4

    My favourite videos to watch each week! Yay

  • @JD-im2kh
    @JD-im2kh 2 роки тому +1

    I think a lot of people are offended not being invited to a wedding until they plan one and see how much everything costs. I’m sure they would invite you if they could afford it. For example if you invite one person that is in a relationship you pay for 2 dinners. You pay for tables, chairs, table settings, linens. You need to get a larger venue for a larger guest count. You have to pay for almost everything based on your guest count. My venue charges $500 more for the rental for over 100 guests. So if we have 101 we would pay $500 for just one more person so we need to keep our guest count at 100 or under.

  • @jocelynjimenez6703
    @jocelynjimenez6703 5 років тому +1

    Thank you! Getting married in April and this is sooooo helpful!

  • @carrieislost
    @carrieislost 5 років тому

    Hopelessly single and yet I can't get enough! I've been binge watching your whole channel lately.

  • @LuvalwaysKat
    @LuvalwaysKat 5 років тому +1

    I love your video's I wish I watched them before I started my planning!

  • @yiyi7997
    @yiyi7997 5 років тому

    Jamie has all of the answers we need 👍

  • @Jeanniedoes
    @Jeanniedoes 5 років тому +2

    Literally trying to finalise my guestlist... Thank you so much for this video 😭❤️

  • @tatymac21
    @tatymac21 5 років тому

    You’re the best. My wedding is in 11 months. This is so appreciated!

  • @Danni1567
    @Danni1567 5 років тому

    Yes Jamie!! Love these videos!

  • @KristiLeeVan
    @KristiLeeVan 4 роки тому

    Totally agree about the a vs b list!

  • @sophier315
    @sophier315 4 роки тому +1

    I’m 13 any I probably have 10 years until I get married. But I am still binge watching your videos because I really love them😂

    • @zleda
      @zleda 4 роки тому +1

      Sophie L same😂

  • @GailMuggill6
    @GailMuggill6 4 роки тому

    Great tips! Thanks for the help!

  • @angelasong3065
    @angelasong3065 5 років тому +1

    Wow. This video was way more helpful than I expected! Thanks a bunch, Jamie!! :) I’m not having my wedding for another two years but I know for a fact that it won’t be a huge mess, all thanks to your tips/advice! 🙏❤️

  • @madeleinevandermerwe2657
    @madeleinevandermerwe2657 5 років тому

    These are some wonderful tips you put together!

  • @lizzyl-k5396
    @lizzyl-k5396 4 роки тому

    This channel is so helpful! Thank you for the amazing tips!

  • @JessicaLopez-kk1xs
    @JessicaLopez-kk1xs 5 років тому

    Love these videos! Super helpful!! I’d love to see how to handle a close family member who has strong opinions about the wedding and how it should go...And how to choose your bridesmaids. Thanks!

  • @Jemgirl152
    @Jemgirl152 5 років тому +3

    Your hair is awesome! You are my new favorite youtube person. So much good stuff!!

  • @TheFearlessmo
    @TheFearlessmo 5 років тому +6

    whew, this is youtube GOLD! Needed this!

  • @SarahLarsonwgm
    @SarahLarsonwgm 5 років тому

    I love your videos! I feel like I pretty much followed these guidelines when I did our guest list. I think one caveat I would add to the rule about inviting friends to your wedding because they invited you to theirs is that it's ok not to invite them if you are trying to keep your wedding very small (like maybe under 30-50 guests) and they had a much larger wedding. Fortunately I had only been to one wedding recently so I was able to invite that friend and her new husband!

  • @MarthaGarcia-gg6ep
    @MarthaGarcia-gg6ep 5 років тому +1

    Hi Jamie!! I'm from México. I really love you're videos, i never miss one. All your advice are very useful . Thanks a Lot! 😍

  • @lqm5656
    @lqm5656 5 років тому

    Hey Jamie,
    I am enjoying your videos. They are helping me as I am planning my wedding for next June.

  • @SuperCocodiva
    @SuperCocodiva 4 роки тому +2

    I ain't apologizing for not inviting people!!!!

  • @JeniseLaVonne
    @JeniseLaVonne 5 років тому

    I have been loosing my crap stressing over my guest list! Thank you so much for this video!!!!

  • @jaquelineedwards6988
    @jaquelineedwards6988 5 років тому +5

    I watched this with my fiancé and it really helped when figuring out the coworker situation. He's a firefighter and they are all tight nit but there is a small group that he does hangout with outside of work. Also the tip of taking them to dinner and paying is brilliant!! Thanks for all the advice. Also your hair looks super cute!

  • @Rue367
    @Rue367 3 роки тому +5

    Why do people wait so long to rsvp or don’t rsvp at all? It’s so frustrating

  • @oohelendang
    @oohelendang 4 роки тому

    This is so helpful thank you very much!

  • @SongbirdChelly
    @SongbirdChelly 3 роки тому +2

    I’m not having kinds except for the ones i want i don’t care who’s feeling are hurt lol they aren’t paying for it

  • @lettyanaya666
    @lettyanaya666 5 років тому +4

    I need help with this big time! Thanks for the video 💜

  • @melaniethorne9396
    @melaniethorne9396 5 років тому +3

    I love your videos! Can you do one on how to make a seating chart without hurting feelings? Like who should be at the head family table and who should be at other tables?

  • @allisongroening9865
    @allisongroening9865 3 роки тому +2

    I agree the whole A-list, B-list thing sucks, but.. 75% of my guest list (including myself and fiancé) need to travel in order to attend. So we expect a bunch to decline because of the travel and we still have a min guest count we have to meet. So I feel like it's the only way!

  • @Whatsleamaking
    @Whatsleamaking 5 років тому +1

    This was helpful. Thanks!

  • @annies358
    @annies358 5 років тому

    Your videos are so helpful! Thank you 🙏 :)

  • @ClareGreenan
    @ClareGreenan 4 роки тому

    Love this!! Some things I never even thought of..😬

  • @samanthalaufkoehler1536
    @samanthalaufkoehler1536 5 років тому +2

    My husband and I did an A/B list but sent the first round of invites really early (like 4-6 months in advance) and mostly to family/others that live out of state. Our second round was mostly friends from college (we got married & live in the city where we went to college, and got married less than a year after I graduated). I wouldn’t recommend it unless your circumstances are similar to ours, but also don’t remember it being a lot of work!

  • @m.x.b.9949
    @m.x.b.9949 5 років тому

    Not even close to ever being married, got so much time, but love watching these videos

  • @patriciamonique47
    @patriciamonique47 5 років тому +1

    Yaaaay for 10K! Im so happy for you Ms Jamie! 🙌🏼👏🏼

    • @cindy846
      @cindy846 3 роки тому

      2 years later she’s at 87K !!!! 😄😄

  • @AlishaZuniga1028
    @AlishaZuniga1028 4 роки тому +9

    I'm so confused! I like what you said about who has had an impact on our relationship but then you said to invite all cousins 😥 I just can't do both lol I wish people didn't get offended and would just understand its about budget.. that would make this process so much easier

    • @TheUnveiledBride
      @TheUnveiledBride 4 роки тому +2

      LovinggLifee Having to invite your entire immediate family (especially if it’s large) is kind of an old school rule. Only invite the people you are close with, especially if you’re on a budget! It will be such a better experience for you guys and you won’t be stressed about trying to stretch your budget. Hope this helps 💕

    • @AlishaZuniga1028
      @AlishaZuniga1028 4 роки тому

      @@TheUnveiledBride Thank you so much😊

  • @farahsloan
    @farahsloan 5 років тому +14

    Love your videos! Will you do one on how to choose your bridesmaids? How many, who should be considered, if you like your middleschool bff's sister better than her now...... Etc etc... ! Thanks for all your tips!

  • @tisw211
    @tisw211 3 роки тому +23

    I don't care who's paying for the wedding. Its not a birthday party its a wedding! Nobody is gonna start adding people they want to see on MY day. Definitely not happening! And for someone to think that because they're paying they have control over who comes and goes is absurd

  • @laurapickering2002
    @laurapickering2002 4 роки тому

    I started stressing about my guest list, as a friend I haven’t spoken to over a year called me out of the blue last week! I didn’t even consider her as I haven’t spoke to her! Thank you for the tips!

  • @este735
    @este735 4 роки тому

    This was so helpful! Thank u!

  • @AngelaCoffman
    @AngelaCoffman 4 роки тому

    These are some great ideas! Our daughter helped a friend clear a field for her wedding and loaned folding tables for it. Then didn't get an invite. It felt a little icky. We're trying to thinking of everyone when it's our turn, but it can be hard to get it perfect.

  • @coprincessful
    @coprincessful 5 років тому +1

    You are a miracle worker!!!!

  • @revitally100
    @revitally100 5 років тому +2

    In the Netherlands. The Ceremony is often I was family close friends then there's often and dinner with that group.
    And after that as the big evening party with coworkers friends family everyone that's not close and in the start programme.

  • @KalieghBerg1
    @KalieghBerg1 5 років тому +2

    This is such a good video for people. I felt so bad not inviting certain people but you are right I wouldn't pay for their dinner. Also got a lot of crap for having kids on the list but we knew certain people wouldn't be able to attend if we didn't allow children. We have most of our RSVPs back and we only have 3 families that did take up the offer to bring their kids. I think most people we invited just appreciate the offer.