Challenging and dealing with The Anxiety Monster
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2024
- I thought it was about time I made a vlog specifically about anxiety and the ways in which I deal with it.
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Hello, I'm Finn, welcome to my channel! I share first-hand experiences and practical advice on topics of mental health, recovery, gender transition, and LGBT lifestyle, as well as my hobbies and general day to day life as an Open University Student and Freelance Content Creator. New video every Tuesday!
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So glad there is online chatting and email! It's a great equalizer for those of us with social anxieties. As you talked about, chasing perfection, routine and rules is exhausting! Add to that always feeling ready to fight or fly and you have someone who finds it better to stay home. Like you, I have to work on mine every day. So good that you and others share your thoughts about this important topic. It always helps! Thanks, Finn!
OMG you have just nailed everything I feel in this vlog! Very honest & very great thank you!!
Cheers Matt :) Its so much better than it was....change is possible....it works if you work it!!!
Very well explained!!!!! But sorry to hear you've been suffering like this for so long. Here's to a full recovery :D
Kai thats sooo true! Ive learnt that the more I control...the more messed up stuff gets, but if I let go...it all somehow just works!!! Watch that trumpet playing!!!
Oh god tell me about it!! Social networking saved my life! Its actually a really positive thing if used correctly, it can form a very theraputic part of bulding friendships and started to get out. It does take work...but its so worth it. Keep on keeping on my awesome friend :)
Great video! Thank you for sharing. You touched on something profound and true in my life about the pervasiveness of control. I discovered a paradox of the more control I exert, the more unmanageable things get. And as soon I let go, things flow more. You're right, it's continuous practice and awareness to ensure that I'm letting go. And I love how you apply it to many different situations. I just discovered a new area of my penchant for a controlled approach in my trumpet lessons! Haha!
Yes and it sounds like you have the forethought and determination it will take to beat this. :)
Bless you my friend :) :) I dont think Ive seen that film, but i agree with the mantra. I always think of the song "sunscreen" when I hear that :) Wonderful comments, thank you so very very much :)
Thanks my friend, will have a look at that
Thank you for sharing your your experiences, i relate a lot and have been out of work for two and a half - three years this time round. Atos, i just have no words other then heartless.
You will be a fantastic therapist, no doubt about that.
I have to plan things too and always think I don't measure up. I went to work an hour early because I just couldn't be late, like it would wreck everything.
I am working on things more now.
Thanks for this awesome video bud, I think it will help a lot of people.
Indeed! In the 5 months Ive been on T, the anxiety has lowered significantly. Gives me hope that combined with the work Im doing on myself, the future will be very bright :)
Thanks my friend, this is such a hard thing to get around and having to fight a heartless system really doesnt help. Still, with work, we dont have to be trapped forever :)
Cheers buddy, you have been working so hard and have come to far, its a honour to be sharing this journey with you :)
hey mate, you are right, because its often so invisible, people just dont realise what we go through internally and how debilitating it is. The only way forward is to take baby steps..small social gatherings with people you feel safe with...then just keep at it. if I am ever in manchester I will come find you!!
The honor is mine too bud. Awesome journey hu :)
I feel like being a part of the community/making friends etc would help me and help my anxiety, but because of my anxiety I can't go out and do either....flippin' catch 22. I love your vids, Finn, I'm sorry you suffer with anxiety, but it makes me feel slightly less worse to realise someone who seems so confident also struggles with it, if that makes sense :)
Hi my friend, so glad you love my vids :) :) I relate to your issues, I was still really struggling to socialize in early days. Don't overlook online spaces, they are a great way to connect with other trans people, they were an absolute life saver for me in the first couple of years of my transition.
That said, if you're ever in Manchester Finn, I'd be happy to meet you for coffee!
As someone with Generalised Anxiety Disorder this video made me feel really positive. Seeing someone as confident and calm as you appear to be but who suffers with such severe anxiety is very reassuring. I've always felt like the most neurotic, nervous guy on earth, lol. My anxiety is centred around my epilepsy (fear that I'll have a seizure) and some socialphobia (fear of socialising with people, which I find so difficult, esp right now). It is so tempting but the more someone faces their fears the better it can get. And people should never forget that true bravery is being absolutely terrified of something but still doing it anyway.
+Jacob Dunbar Oh absolutely! That is one of my favourite quotes! I have learnt a lot of skills over the last 5 years to manage my mood and anxiety, it still takes a lot of effort but I think the biggest thing I have learnt is to do things IN SPITE of my anxiety. I used to wait for it to go before doing anything...which of course it never did! So now I just do it anyway, I know that the experience wont kill me, that afterwards I will feel proud and that then the next time it will be easier. It means that on occasion a high stress even will wipe me out for a few days but I just factor that into my plans and work around it. Volunteer work is great fr practising this stuff, I volunteer in places that "get it" so that if I am struggling it ok. Full time paid work rarely comes with this option which is the difference a lot of people dont get I think. Just keep taking it one day at a time buddy and learning as much about yourself as you can, self knowledge is a great tool, meditation helps with that too, its been a god send to me!
I am a determined bugger! I love life these days and Ill be dammed if Im gonna let this anxiety stop me living it to the full!
It's hard depending on the situation too. I don't think people realise that. I go to work everyday and work with different people and manage varying levels of stress. However socially I'm crap. I went to MORF (Manchester ftm group) once and I just couldn't go back. It made me feel like I was 12 again and despite everything I do in my life, I'm still isolated because being in a room like that was too much. It's so frustrating!
Now I chuckle to myself. I am very gentle on myself because I know I have a tendency to control for a reason, because I think it's going to make me feel/be safer. And data from my lifelong research lab indicates that it's quite the opposite; it perpetuates negative things in my life. Oh man, it would be nice to hang out, eh? I'm thinking we'd have a lot to chat about :). PS, I won't tell you how many times I read/re-read this response - controllllll (grin).
Oh boy...i do the exact same thing when I post replies!!! Thanks so much Kai, maybe oneday we will be sitting in a coffee shop in Canada together .... :)
Cheers bud, sorry you relate though!
I know what you mean about the benefits system! I am way too anxious too start working again (I'm claiming JSA) but they say that I am well enough to work as I am taking anti anxiety medication and there is nothing wrong with me physically (despite the fact that I have constant panic attacks when I do my voluntary work!) Now they have forced me onto JSA and keep adding more and more pressure which makes my anxiety worse.
+Jacob Dunbar The system is just not equip to properly understand mental health diagnosis. The forms you get to fill in are a joke...."can you make a sandwich" well of course I can, I am depressed not stupid! I always get help when filling in forms and attending interviews as they know how to better interpret the question and give answers that accurately reflect my abilities and challenges. I think where the system really fails (despite this actually being their goal) is in helping the people that are in the middle road, improving but still needing a fair bit of support. They actually penalise you if you show improvement, "well you have lowered your tablets and therefore you must be fit for work"....it actually stops people from trying to get better I think. We need peoples primary care team to make the assessments or at least heavily influence them as it is the people directly involved with our care that know us, not some stranger that sees us for an hour!!! Now see Im ranting lol!!!
Feel free to rant away, I absolutely detest the benefit system. I'm in the same situation myself as I am on that awful middle road. They are even sending me on a job search workshop which (as I'm an introvert suffering with anxiety) is making me feel even more ill. The training schemes that they have sent me on have been a complete and utter nightmare. As far as their concerned if you're ok physically then you are ok to work (no matter what anxiety or depression you may have!)
+Jacob Dunbar Yes it is crazy, helping people should be about supporting their needs, I think most people who cant work really want to, I certainly do, its been such a long time now, its just that I MUST prioritise my health as if I dont I could relapse in so many ways and end up off work for a hell of a lot longer . This means I need certain things like a work environment thats supportive and flexible and benefits that allow me to go on and off them if needs be as most of the time, in an environment I am comfortabe with I am ok but then out of the blue I will get floored by something. This has stopped me going into work for fear I wont last and then Ill be unable to return to benefits. The work I am heading towards now will allow me the support i need as I continue to get well. I really recommend visiting your local MIND mental health charity, they have always been so helpful to me, whether with forma and benefits and with short courses in self esteem etc
You're right about suddenly getting floored by something. I did really well until I ended up in hospital with an infection and now my anxiety is back to where it was a year ago. I've never found that therapy, counselling or CBT really helped me. Being an introvert I always thrive through the self help route. My mum bought me a great book about overcoming anxiety which has been like my bible. I read that, carry around little flash cards with what the book says about how to calm anxiety and just keep going out and doing what I am afraid of doing. It's just starting to get easier. The workshop will be the hardest thing but at least it's just for one day. Besides it's only 3 months until I have top surgery :)
It's a manly date! ;-)