Taking Responsibility In Recovery Does Not Mean Taking Blame (Podcast Ep 213)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 21 чер 2022
- Accepting that you are responsible for your own recovery leads to empowerment and puts you in a position of strength.
But often responsibility is confused with blame or fault, which can lead us into bad places that we don’t need to visit.
Let’s talk about that in this week’s episode of The Anxious Truth.
📝 FOR FULL SHOW NOTES ON THIS EPISODE:
theanxioustruth.com/213
--
📣 GET MY DAILY ANXIETY RECOVERY EMAIL NEWSLETTER/PODCAST
theanxiousmorning.com
📚 MY BOOKS:
theanxioustruth.com/books
🔗 ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA AND OTHER LINKS:
theanxioustruth.com/links
💜 SUPPORT MY WORK BY BUYING MY BOOKS OR MERCHANDISE, OR MAKE A DONATION:
theanxioustruth.com/support
ℹ️ WHO AM I?
theanxioustruth.com/about
❓ WANT TO ASK ME A QUESTION?
theanxioustruth.com/ask/
🎵 Music Used on My Podcast: AfterGlow by Ben Drake (with permission)
bendrakemusic.com
I don’t think Listening makes me feel better because I know I have to confront this by myself but listening helps give me the courage to face. Listening to you speak the truth about anxiety helps push me in the direction I know I need to go.
And for that THANK YOU!
Love this. My most sincere hope is that my words will inform and inspire action. Soothing and calming is not a thing I ever set out to do. So thank you for this comment Connie. I appreciate it.
thanks drew, i think this is one of the most important lessons when we struggle with any anxiety disorder. recovery is autonomy, and always being able to have the final say in a decision, being able to do the things in life that you want to do and that is important and meaningful. it is impossible to seek permanent comfort, but at least we can train ourselves and practice to have control over our behaviour in our lives.
That's scary, we need to have courage. It will take me some time but I agree with you Drew.
Thanks Drew
Thanks Drew!
Thxs Drew. Again
So Drew in your book about your recovery u talk about your personal experience with your anxiety & panick. How you experienced your 1st attack, then got a little better without any attacks then they came on again and you also used medicine etc. Is it normal to feel better, well in my case get a lot better then have it creep in again a bit??!!! Even years later?! And if so when did you notice or even say to yourself this stops now ? And throughout your entire experience did u also feel a little sad and or frustrated depressed etc at the fact that once you thought you were doing great, there it was again?! Is that normal?? How do I get around that worrying thought pattern or feeling like a failure when it creeps back in sometimes if that makes sense?!!! Thx Drew!
So the first time I "got better", you'll notice that I wrote that I didn't really "get better" after all. I think I got lucky and didn't have to do the actual work of recovery that first time so while I wasn't experiencing panic attacks, I also never really learned how to relate to them in a new way. I just "knew things" and as it turns out, knowing things is not recovery. So when it "came back" I just had to resign myself to actually doing something about it in a lasting way. That took me two times to get right but the lesson is that even if I panic today, that panic is irrelevant in my life. Its an incident that starts and ends then is over. But that is only because I do not immediately launch back into all my old safety habits any more. If I did do that, then I would likely experience what you are describing. That "failure" feeling can be us being unfair and unkind to ourselves. If you are going to make the choice to jump in the pool every time, calling yourself a failure for being wet isn't very fair, right?
@@TheAnxiousTruth exactly yes I definitely get it!!!! Wow!!! Its just so unbelievably frustrating because the group, videos, exposures etc and me doing all that work u teach got me to a great place after many years of being home not working, driving to much etc. Finally went back to work 3 yrs ago, driving everywhere no problem, shopping etc... anxious at times? Yes! But the panick attacks were like non existent. Then the end of May with all I had to deal with, and im what like 6 wks in now, it's been like attack after attack, all those bad habits of googling, scanning my body, Dr visits, calls etc.. I also noticed that for 3 amazing years I got great sleep woke up good, as opposed to now im waking up anxious, sleep is broken up, attacks are back like full speed ahead lol 😆 it's like I "forgot" all the work I did and how to respond to them so to speak! So I've been listening to the podcasts religiously, all of the anxious morning emails, mindful meditation 🧘♀️ trying my best to do exposures but it's so unbelievably frustrating cause it feels like it's taking forever to learn something I already learned, if that makes sense??!!! Especially with any little ache, pain, weird feeling, off to Google or Dr I go and I know that's wrong and not the way to respond but it's like a force in my head whispering "Kelli check it out, make sure"!!!! And drives me nuts lol 🤦♀️😂 my work misses me and I miss them trying to get back asap cause I've been home for weeks and I know getting back out there and returning to my normal routine as fast as possible will be extremely helpful and I won't have all this time to think, well overthink anyway lol and I'm trying, lord knows I'm trying but I find myself getting in the car getting halfway down my street and freezing again, coming home so mad with myself and end up either so angry or crying with disappointment. In plain words it's like I got the old Kelli back and my life back, and felt so proud of all the work I did to get there and it was stripped of me overnight due to what happened in my house that really shook me up and was just so overwhelming. And I guess, and I say guess loosely because I'm not a psychologist or anything but it was enough to throw me back to first base lol or what I think 🤔 now 6 wks isn't really long from what I feel and everyone meaning my Dr and I gotta do that work again, exposures, breathing etc I've even got the books out again, well on audible. I find it easier to listen to your voice, it helps me more!!! However any insight on how with everything I learned with the group and how amazing I was doing and feeling just like "went out the window" and now feel as though like "ok did I get a good 3 years and that's all I'm allotted "??!!! Like ok Kell u got a good 3 years and now you're done lol 😆 I know it sounds insane but that's how I've been feeling and what's been in my head. So now that I'm back here what I'm asking is that I'm more than capable of getting back to where I was right, i believe so??!! Like with anxiety and not being a Dr i can't help but wonder how everything I learned just went out the window literally overnight, what did I do wrong?!! Its very confusing 😕 at times and more frustrating than anything!!! And for some reason I've felt defeated and felt like throwing in the towel and like the worst mother, employee, wife etc in the world and it saddens me!!! And I know and refuse to give up but those feelings lately have been consuming me and it's beyond exhausting, especially with sleep being so broken up! Like I know in my heart I am more than capable of getting back to where I was but my brain creeps in whispering "lol nope this is it Kelli"!!! Lol 😆 ughhh beyond frustrating Drew! Any insight 🙏 or advice???!!! I mean you know how far I came from 1st joining the group, where did I go wrong???? Let me know if u can! Thx So much Drew!!!!!
@@kellihiggins939 Hey Kelli, I'm going through a similar thing at the moment. I was first diagnosed with PD and AG 20 years ago. I spent about 10 years in recovery before experiencing a challenging relapse in 2013 after I got married and moved into a new home with my beautiful wife. I got a new therapist and tried some different things but the ultimate path back to wellness was the same - the Claire Weekes 'face. accept. float' approach + the type of EPR that Drew advocates for. I got better and lived a very fulfilling life (mostly - haha) for nearly another decade.
In the last two months I did some overseas travel which involved returning to places I lived as a teenager, including where my symptoms had first emerged. This created a lot of anxiety and panic for me and now since returning home I have been struggling again with the return of difficult symptoms. Normally I'd brush it off - remind myself that panic doesn't matter and get on with my life but the last few weeks I've struggled to do that. C'est la vie.
It can be very frustrating and I get what you're saying when you find yourself thinking "how did I forget how to manage this?" or "is it back for good now? Are those glory years all behind me?"
I also find myself (at times) falling into the trap of playing the comparison game: "is this set back worse than previous ones?" or "am I more unwell now than when I was first diagnosed?" and "is this the most anxious/hopeless I've ever felt?" blah blah blah!
Then I remind myself: these things are just thoughts. They may be scary but just because I'm having them doesn't make them automatically true.
The second thing I try to remember is to not judge my success by how I feel but by how I respond to how I feel. Right now I feel the worst that I've felt in a decade (maybe ever) but does that mean I've failed at recovery? Not necessarily. We need the dark to appreciate the light. This setback tells me that I'm very out of practice, but that's a good thing to know. I can do something about it now.... so that's what I need - be brave (when I can), practice, practice practice and see this situation as an opportunity to learn again.
If you spent a year learning the guitar and then the next two years only taking it out occasionally to impress your friends you wouldn't be surprised if you forgot how to play all your favourite songs. You'd be frustrated - sure - but you wouldn't be surprised. It's the same here. Frustration is normal, but don't be surprised by setbacks - they're also normal.
The good news is you're not back at square one because you still own the guitar (the knowledge). You just need a little more practice!
Just keep practicing. Judge success by your willingness to keep trying - not by how you feel in a given moment.
I don't know how to help you find the bravery to do it (right now I don't know how I'm going to find it myself - haha) but I know it's within you. Good luck 🙂
@@tomstewart2685 that literally sounds like you're talking about me lol 😆 wow!!!! Such great advice, thank you so much! I'm doing a lot better than I was let's say a Month ago but still not back to where I was/wanna be!!!! Seems like it's taking forever. And yes at 1st I feel like I forgot everything I learned when joining the group, and that made me feel so crappy, especially because I was doing so so well.. its funny how even something small can almost make u forget what you've learned and how far you've come. I'm doing exposures little by little each day & my ultimate goal right now is to get back to work, get back to my normal routine and again slowly implement every single thing I learned when joining over 3 years ago, but I got to tell ya, wow what a journey this past month and a half has been lol! Ty so much for all your input, advice and sharing your background with me 😃