Steven Seagal is so horrible I want to bullshido myself | So Bad It's Good - Mercenary for Justice
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- Опубліковано 17 кві 2024
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With lots of explosions, attractive actresses, and fat Seagal, you would think Mercenary for Justice would be a highly entertaining movie. Nope. It's one of those bland 'thrillers' that you can't wait to end. There wasn't a strip club in sight. Unbelievable.
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@4:05 JASON FUCKING BRANT!!!
You live in Maryland... a farts blow away from Baltimore... and You've NEVER watched 'The Wire'??
You don't know who Omar is....????
Come on broski :D
@@dothexMaybe it’s too close to home? He might be robbing dealers to afford this bad movie lifestyle.
@@nilslindqvist8825 Lol... Tis true.. Jason always comments on how much coke is too much... He might not want to reveal he's a kingpin just yet :D
Seagal should use your sponsor's product. It would be better than the thing he's wearing on his head.
I can tell you haven't seen "The Wire"
The word 'POLICE' being backwards is a thing in parts of Europe. It's means that when drivers see the van approaching in their rear view mirror it reads correctly.
Ambulances and Fire Engines have the same thing here in the UK. Drivers can quickly realise there's an emergency vehicle behind them and act accordingly.
@@mrmoodster5405because the lights and sirens aren't obvious enough.
I've always thought that was the case everywhere,i learn something new everyday
Firemen do the same here in Peru. Maybe ambulances too, I'm not sure
@@sauronmauron6965That's right, everywhere, and it has been standard practice for the past 40 years. I can't believe these guys were dumbfounded by this. Maybe they are spending too much time in the basement?
Holy shit, the last time I saw a video with Dave he wasn't 70 years old.
haha!
It's been 84 years.......
Seagal stealing his youth one video at a time
Steven Segal is snatching those mfing birthdays.
@@genxer1This right here ^^^^^ lolol
Dave's beard is on point!!!
agreed
🍻
🍻👍👍
It's awesome! 😂
I see Dave decided to have Lola stay warm around his face.
🤣🤣
That beard is pretty sweet though.
Holy shit. Who do I bill for the keyboard I need replaced now?
@@jonathontrejo5427 True. Dave is rocking it.
And it looks like he dropped a few LBS.
I believe Dave is a sifu more than Segal. The beard has an air of confidence not seen in this day and age.
The beard is a bad motherfucker.
Dave is channeling his inner Commander Riker with that beard.
The beard loves the fuck outta cookies.
With that beard, Dave can walk like a black man a breathe like a killer, I guess. 😅
@@JasonBrant That beard wasn't born on no fucking turnip truck
I love how, even after starring in action movies for literal decades, Seagal still doesn't even bother to learn how to shoot a gun convincingly
That would take effort.
I missed Dave so much. Best episodes with him. That Neil Breen marathon is in my daily sleep to playlist.
He's gonna be around quite a bit. Prepare your body.
@@JasonBrant That's awesome. I've seen your "Death Wish 3" so often (should I be ashamed of myself?) because you and Dave are just bringing it.
Totally agree. The chemistry when Dave's there is on another level.
@@dreamchild1082yes sir. Miss Dave.
Me too! I know I'm responsible for at least 20,000 of those views. 😅
I didn't realize how much I've missed the "Sifu Seagal" song! 😂
Haha, glad you dig it.
Does Dave get residuals when that song is used?
There’s some sick shit up in here, alligator
SIIIFU! SIFU SEAGAAAAA-AALLLL! 😊
I've discovered that I'm physically incapable of skipping the Dave-Seagal intro. The mood isn't complete without it.
Its a classic at this point!
Every time somebody skips the intro, sifu snatches another birthday.
Always worth listening to those golden pipes.
Has no one pointed out yet that "Scarface" is Michael K. Williams, who played one of the most legendary characters in TV history, Omar on "The Wire"? He was also really good in a recurring part on "Community," the greatest sitcom ever.
Yeah man, he wasn’t just a ‘drug addict’🤦🏻♂️
He was great in everything he did post-The Wire. Fantastic limited series on HBO with Riz Ahmed and John Turturro, name escapes me but he played a compelling character there as well.
Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire was another great role of his.
Omar comin' (the wire). came for this comment.
They specialize in bad movies, not great tv shows
People should make up a bunch of quotes that Seagal might say in a movie...
What about this:
"I'm gonna slap you so hard, you'll be eating cheese for a week!"
"I'm about to feed you to an alligator, honey buns."
"This feels like that time I won the Gulf War."
"You better watch your mouth...with a microscope."
"I'm about to shit your mama's pants!"
😂
Cajun/Racist Seagal: “Hey brotha, I’m just another man fell off the turnip truck like you, nahmsayin??”
The fence is always greener on the other side of the grass.
If it wasn’t for this channel I doubt I’d witness any of these cinematic masterpieces.
You would be better off.
Dave with a beard!? dude looks good!
PS: Police is reversed on some EU vehicles so people in cars in front of them can read it in their rear view mirror.
👍
Fun fact: Seagull has to have oxygen tanks on set of every movie. Guess waddling with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age takes a lot out of you...🥵
Hes a waddling master!
Seagal literally got sued for $14 million by the producers of this movie, for being constantly late, lazy, unmotivated, disruptive, and the cause of endless delays during shooting. Apparently his "entourage" of asskissers and enablers behaved like complete dicks to everybody on location, too. The director claims that the producers had the lawsuit prepared and ready to go before they even started shooting, because Seagal had built up his _stellar_ professional reputation in the industry for years at this point.
Looking good, Dave. Almost at 100K, guys. What kind of self-inflicted torture bonanza can we expect to commemorate the occasion? You put the bar pretty high by giving yourself Breendamage for 200 episodes......
It's gonna be brutal.
Points for Breendamage🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@JasonBrantI vote for a Twilight marathon!😊
With Steven Seagal, Luke Goss once again faces a nightmarish Guillermo del Toro creation.
haha
Poor Luke now has severe PTSD he is still recover from years later.
After their ear-bleedingly shrill pop career, nothing will ever faze either Goss twin again. They did not gaze into the abyss; they WERE the abyss.
Dave came back with the BEARD!!!!
Ok bro! I see you :D
The legend returns.
@@JasonBrant God bless you for choosing a Seagal flick for his return.
Your decisions are legendary at this point.
Came back like Brock Lesnar, demanding a Steven Seagal movie. Sicko!🤣
Long breaks from the show require punishment.
@@MariuszMroczek-dd7kuBrock likes devils 3somes with Vince! Allegedly
Give Seagull some credit. He has been consistently putting out garbage for decades
It's almost impressive.
And moved mafia money back and forth.
@@MariuszMroczek-dd7ku all of that while still training CIA personnel on his own initiative.
@@JasonBrant Not easy to do while keeping a stunning hairline.
@@Arivmario
Just the payroll clerks in their office chairs.
🎶 It’s been a while … 🎶
🤣
Sifu is a Mercenary for Just Ice cream.
haha!
Seagal shows the same marksmanship as Saddam in Hot Shots! Part Deux.
I’m thinking Siri should be called Sitfu
Just to note that in Europe a lot of countries have emergency vehicles that have their title backwards on the bonnet, so you can read it clearly in your rearview mirror, when they're behind you.
Just wanted to say that, you were 1 minute faster, just like Seagal dodging out of that car. :D
The US has some agencies that use this as well. Idk why it’s hard for people to comprehend why it’s backwards lol.
@@Ahhhhh_TV Americans, nuff said.
4:04 Michael K Williams is best known for his roles as Omar in The Wire and Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire.
He who walks with air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age🙄😵💫
He occasionally walks.
*Waddles
He was the most decorated soldier in the Gulf War because it was his job to be the Christmas tree every year.
Luke Goss was in a band called Bros together with his brother. In 1988 they had a hit with "When will I be famous?". He was also in a couple of movies in the Death Race series (could be interesting for your channel).
I think we have a few of those movies.
Yes. I remember Bros. Big in Europe
The Death Race movies are the epitome of late 2000’s shaky cam/nervous cam/ high speed shutter nightmares. Unwatchable.
@@asgardpictures Not the original Death Race movies?
Also in Blade 2 , Hell Boy 2 , Tekken
I instantly clock that this must have been in the early 2000s because Sifu is actually moving on camera… badly but still moving under his own power!
This was right at the beginning of his mastery of Sit Fu.
Damn fine beard Dave, welcome back.
🍻
That's a strong beard dave!
🍻
I take credit for sending a copy of this movie drink every time they fire a gun you will get shitface.
So you're to blame.
Is that even feasable without dropping into a coma?!😮
SBIG, baby!!! DAAAAAVE! The Diamond One returns!
I agree. Dave is great
28:43 "Police" and sometimes "Ambulance" is written backwards on the car in some countries so that people in traffic can clearly read it in their rearview mirror and know to get out of the way of the emergency vehicle behind them.
When Dave starts cracking up it kills me. His laugh is so great and infectious it's makes us all crack up!
9:33 freeze frame this shot it’s hilarious
haha
The beard, awesome🫡
👍
Carlito's Way Dave
NO! DEAR GOD NO!......NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
haha
Looking sharp Dave 🧔♂
👍
Its crazy how beard suddenly makes dave look his actual age lol. Tbh im jealous, im 35 and when i try to grow facial hair even after 9 months of not shaving it still looks like i have a mangey dead rat glued to my face lol.
Same, and I'm 41...
The jail is not in Eastern Europe, but in South Africa. But - as far as I know - they have no rocket launchers there 😂
Shifu batmaning out of the car back to the catering was the best part of his filmography
Michael Kenneth Williams is the name of the actor with the scar on his face. He passed away in September of 2021.
Weird too see such an incredible actor in a movie this bad 😂
Please tell me it was from this to The Wire and not the other way around.
@@kaykutcher2103dw he was in a lot of good things before he passed on.
POLICE in reverse is cos it reads normally when viewed in your rear view mirror. Guess the big blue flashing lights on top aren’t obvious enough! 😂
I can't tell if Dave lost weight or just doesn't have a chihuahua under his shirt..
I am stoked to see Dave back in the mix, it has been a minute!
Ooo, there's some behind-the-scenes trivia with this one! It's actually produced (as was Today You Die from the previous year) by Avi Lerner, who claimed that Seagal was, as you'd expect, a nightmare to work with. Specifically he alleged that Seagal was constantly late to filming and kept rewriting his own dialogue. Seagal responded, claiming his contact allowed him to change his dialogue, and that he was underpaid by $835,000. Eventually the whole thing went to court after Lerner filed a suit against Seagal, which was eventually settled.
Years later, Avi Lerner would produce The Expendables, and Stallone asked Seagal to take part in the sequels. However, when he learned of Lerner's involvement, Seagal refused to take part. So that's why Sifu Seagal isn't in any of the Expendables films... beyond just being a generally terrible human being that no-one would actually pay money to see on the big screen (hell, the screen wouldn't be big enough to fit that gut).
Funnily enough, the director of this film didn't actually have a problem with Seagal, saying that the two got along fairly well, and he also also claimed that the script was basically a hodge-podge of different drafts cobbled together with no cohesive storyline... something you guys experienced for yourselves. FontLeRoy also said the lawsuit that Avi Lerner filed was planned before production began due to Seagal's known behaviour on film-sets - something I have absolutely no issue believing, and I commend Lerner for his smart thinking.
hhahahah 'rewrite his own dialogue" you mean his mumbling? :) how do you keep rewriting mumbling and whispers?
oooooh yeah!!! sefu segal!
Hope you dig it.
@@JasonBrant greetings from Newfoundland 💜🩷
20:27 To quote Vern’s Seagalogy book: “If you check the English subtitles, the thug doesn’t actually call Seeger “poophole”, he calls him “poepol”. I looked it up and it turns out it’s from South Africa, it’s an Afrikaans slang word for “asshole”.
So I guess he pretty much did call him a poophole, huh? 🤣
The reverse lettering is so that the car in front of you can read in rear view mirror and is very common especially for ambulances.
I can't believe both of you have never seen Police or Ambulance backwards for the drivers in front of them.
EPIC BEARD !
I love how all the scenes set in Florida were clearly filmed in South Africa.
WAIT!!!!! This was partially shot in Cape Town!!!! I know some of those locations! (One of which is Groot Constantia wine estate)
Some people I know worked on this! Apparently his hair piece arrived before he did and everyone in production all tried it on…
The last bit is too good to be true, but I choose to believe.
I’m shocked you guys have never encountered the backwards POLICE or AMBULANCE decal before? It’s not just a European thing. Some places in the states have that decal in order for cars driving ahead to read it straight in the mirror.
I use keeps for my ballfro but unfortunately no luck on my Chrome domage!!
🤣
@@JasonBrant I should have charged you for having to sit through Seafoo again but Dave and his cave beard saved it.
Emergency vehicles in the UK and Europe all have their name written backwards across the front so that it reads correctly in rear-view mirrors when they come up behind you
Poor Dave, he's back after who knows how long and you decide to torture him with Sifu's drivel. Truly heartless.
We need Jason and Brian to grow a full beard to.
And yes, police spelled backward so it’ll read correctly in your rearview mirror.
I couldn't grow a beard if my life depended on it.
Now it's Thursday
Hell yeah.
The sheer amount of fabric it took to make that suit...could of clothed an entire family all with 3 different outfits 😂😂😂
I'd have something to say about this movie, but while watching the video, I heard a noise behind me, and when I turned to see what it was, I broke my own neck.
I feel like bearded Dave is his final form.
Omar was criminally underused
i always enjoy unwinding after work watching your videos, thanks!
He has over 500 kills to his name... at Krispy Kreme donuts. He's the most decorated soldier... because he kept snatching every birthday cake and the cake decorators got icing on his uniform.
lol I can’t wait for what you guys think about this…. I got it for 0.99 and paid too much
I got it for free and I still overpaid.
@@JasonBrant lol definitely
Dave!!!!!
He's gonna be around a lot. Buckle up.
@@JasonBrant Hell yeah Jason. 😎
It's really nice to see you involving the elderly with your show by inviting Dave's grandpa to the party. We _need_ *more* multigenerational content like this on UA-cam!
Some police/ambulance companies put the text on the front of the vehicle backwards so it can be read in a rear view mirror. I live near Boston, and alot of police and such do this.
Of course Americans have never heard of Bros
Is that the boy band he was in?
@@JasonBrantYes! With his twin. I don't even know if this is Matt or Luke.
I think that Police is reversed on the vehicle so you can read it in your rear view mirror.
Edit. I see you also think that.
Look at that godly beard!
Glad to see sifu back in the sights too!
Erin's ad reads have really gotten to be professional quality!
16:35 "Man the really nailed the lighting. Everywhere he goes it's just like a thin layer across his face."
No, the layer is regular size, it just looks thin compared to Sifu's face.
28:45 Are you serious? It's so you can read it in your rear view mirror. Common thing in a lot of countries.
Great video as always!! Great to see Dave back!! Beard is Awesome!!
"Did they do a composite...?"
I can imagine her going: "I am NOT going to sit in the same car with that man!" 😅
Just FYI, the bad guy says, "That's it for you, poephol." It's a South African insult.
How do you pronounce it? I must've missed it.
And what's it mean?
Sounds like “poop hole” and means poop hole 😂
@@chrisdotson3520 naturally 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
'Poephol' is Afrikaans slang, like saying 'dumbass' or, sometimes, 'asshole'. The
guy says it incorrectly but I don't know how to write it phonetically because Afrikaans is hard to translate to an American accent. It's a pretty cool language, to be honest. It's either HILARIOUS or TERRIFYING. So, ja, it's a thing.
Welcome back Dave! You definitely been somewhere
I say this on every Segal video because I can't help myself. My favorite thing about Segal movies is how he either has no idea how knife fights work, or just dosen't want to deal with the choreo of a kinfe fight. He stands there and waves his arms around until he gets winded, then they fall over dead.
Daaave!
Back from the dead.
Was held prisoner in a fat camp by Tony Perkis.
Dave damn near blended into the chair, much like Sifu blends seamlessly into this movie 🤣
@jasonbrant I'm currently in a wheelchair recovering from a stroke. I can't use a toilet. My wife and I have developed code to use in polite company. When I tell her there's a Steven Segal or Segal, she knows we have to deal with a massive turd. This movie just confirms how accurate we are with our inside joke.
Good stuff,always nice to see Dave
Pure gold, guys. Love the commentary! 😂😂
First off you guys are killing it lately. These have been some of the best episodes ever. Second that is a SICK beard Dave (also Welcome Back) especially with that dusting of gray. And lastly yes the reverse printing on E-vehicles IS so you can see it in a rearview mirror but it's also a thing here in the states.
Looking good Dave! Great to see you back!
Alright, Dave finally joins the beard club! Almost couldn't tell it was him for a second lol
The cup of water Jurasic Park joke had me rolling, almost as much as Segal rolling out of that big black truck.
Jason don't throw those Steven Seagal Blu Rays in the trash. Recycle them, we could always use more drink coasters 😁
How is no one talking about that magnificent beard? Glad to see you back Dave. Can't wait to see the next 6-pack bandoleer episode.
Sifu Seagal "rescued" Dave from cave just so he could watch this movie.
Dave's new beard makes him look like a cross between Seagal and a generic middle eastern villain. It's probably the sitting down which makes me think of Seagal.
@JasonBrant You guys are so close to having 100K subscribers, which is definitely deserving.
It's nice to see a return of two great masters, Seagal and Dave.
28:50 It's for drivers looking in their rear view mirrors to make sure they get out of the way in traffic. It's the same with ambulances.
30:03 The director's note to this actress before the scene, "Run more awkwardly than Seagal."
Bro at first I didn't even recognize Dave...haha...anyway let me click that like button before continuing watching just for bringing Dave back 😊
Gotta admit, near the beginning when Seagal climbed into the hovering copter, I was expecting it to lean towards him and hear the engine struggle a bit.
That lady’s running made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣 She runs like she has mud under her shoes, like a muppet 😂😂😂😂💀
The backwards lettering on the police car is there so it reads properly. in a rear view mirror. We do the same thing on ambulances.