And it makes me emotional because I’ve just wanted answers and help for so long. I’m an extrovert who grew up so isolated and now I’m having social skill issues but I’m 22
That example of one guy at your gym coming up to you saying his hands were sweaty hit a chord in me. I worry a ton when with strangers or relatives I do not know well; I have to force myself to ask questions since I'm afraid it is bad, and it all feels so artificial, opposite of authentic; I think of the situation from their perspective, I try to say things or adapt to them, I'm fast to adopt their opinions on stuff, only afterwards realizing I had a different opinion; heck, even walking into the kitchen as a guest feels scary, since they are there and I need to smalltalk, and just today this evening I sneaked down into the kitchen to get a sandehich -- and I felt I was a freak for being so quiet while my distant relatives were trying to sleep while I was looking for butter like a thief in the night. I FEEL STRESS OUT OF THIS, my muscles are tight and I fear if I am not able to expose myself to what causes my social anxiety my quality of life will suffer more..
I have a habit of wording my questions wrongly. They are perhaps too probing, strong or overly personal. I have watched all your videos from the beginning just this morning, and think they seem very useful and perhaps even easy to apply but nothing is ever that simple for me, even though I think your tips might make things slightly easier for me. I know it will take a different mindset and practice but I think what would be helpful is to hear many many more questions like the examples you have used so far. Ideally a larger set of different questions for many different settings. I feel that the more I hear these types of questions the more might stick in my brain so I will feel confident and recall them quick enough to use them myself. The reason I need to do this is that I am going for a job interview with a different department at work. I know that an important quality for this job is to be personable and get on with people so that they will want to do things for me. The job is construction project manager for a housing association so I need builders, site managers and the agents who work as a go between to like me and enjoy working with me. Trouble is I have always struggled socially and been a little awkward. I struggle to remember what someone told me last time we met so am then reluctant to talk to them again as i'm afraid they will think I am stupid for forgetting what they told me and/or ignorant and uninterested for not following up on what they previously told me. Even minutes later I can have forgotten what they told me. I think it may be anxiety or nerves, so maybe too much going on in my head to really listen to what they are saying. A previous video of yours seemed to nail it on the head when you said people are too busy thinking of the next question to really listen. I think that is me to a T. I am nervous of there being an awkward silence when the other person has finished speaking whilst I think of the right thing to say next. I am not confident that my brain will think of the right questions to ask if I listen to them intently or am worried I will think of a great question but then have forgotten it by the time they've finished speaking. This happens to me a lot. I have found your videos more helpful than most but just need more examples of questions to ask which are different to what most of these types of videos dish out as they don't seem natural or helpful to me. Yours do but I need more examples of them in more scenarios. As I said before I have put in an application for this job. My problem is that the person who will be interviewing me (provided I get an interview) sits almost opposite me at work. I am now almost afraid to talk to her as i'm afraid she will think i'm trying to influence her decision so have decided to try to apply your lessons to colleagues around me in order to try to prove to her that I could have the right personality for the job after all. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for your videos so far. I have found them helpful and hope to practice applying your techniques very soon so that I can get out of my current minimum wage job and into a decent job i think I would actually be very good at apart from this one aspect. Thanks again. X
Hittade just din hemsida! Jag tycker att den är väldigt hjälpsam och rakt på sak för mig som har autism och undrar mkt över vad som gick fel i möten med andra och hur jag kan förstå sociala situationer bättre. Tack!
Good advice on “owning” yourself at the moment. I think it works for owning your nervousness too if you feel nervous for some reason and get worried about what others perceive about your nervousness. just own that your nervous right now and be fine with it and whatever effect it has on others’ opinions. Focus outward, listen to others, instead of being hyper-aware of yourself, and see if you could benefit them despite your state of nervousness.
Thank you David. I really appreciate all the information you put out there. You have such a personable and calm way of explaining the message you are trying to convey. Your thoughts and ideas on how to improve yourself in social situations have given me many good ideas to try going forward.....thanks very much.
Hugely informative, really enjoyed the flow of ideas one from another and how they linked together nicely. Most people may skip past a video like this, because it isn't flashy or have a fancy thumbnail, but they are missing out on quality useable information, great video, keep it up!
How to deal with issues of insecurity? Like you feel confident. But when u hear that someone else is being praised you feel jealous or insecure and you are not good enough. Please make a video on overcoming insecurities.
:) Hi. I did think this video was wow, amazing, got me turned on and brought me to my kindest side because I’ve learned about my husband/my friend/love. It also put a smile on my face. I would share more about my feelings about it but I was at a point I was feeling I was under a spell. As I was trying to go through, what, I feel, about my love’s about me and I couldn’t concentrate. I truly tried to understand this video. I forget the rest that had happened. Well here’s my comment. Thank u so very much for the speech u made. I want to learn the whole video all over again and more of it.
Hi liked your video but i want you to say something to overcome nervousness and how to immediately respond in a conversation or to a comment. i sometime just get blank at the moment but later on when thinking over i realise i should have answered this way. Thanks
Hey.. Thank you for these videos, they are fantastic :) Something I have struggled with many times, is this: So, I have an interest in a very broad range of topics. I study and read a lot of things, not to an expert level but enough to have a solid understanding, to form new ideas and have a dialogue around them. I have all kinds of thoughts, theories, possibilities pop into my head. I really want to talk about them! Just to discuss, see if anyone has any relevant information, can help me prove or disprove, anything interesting to add. Sometimes the topics can be controversial, or the ideas unusual.. Nothing insane, often semi-abstract lines of reasoning or off-the-cuff hypothesis that I think may have not been considered before. Often there is a lot to say if I were to explain to anyone how I got from a to b. I try to pare it down but then without the resoning it looks like i'm just coming out with random nonsense. Nobody wants to broach the topics at all. I do not understand whether a. I am writing too much, b. The ideas are too complex and daunting, or just not topics that people like, c. I am putting things across in a way that puts people off from engaging, or d. Everyone thinks i'm either stupid or 'not as clever as I like to think I am', or even just an out and out nutjob. I guess I am asking... Do you have any advice on how to generate discussion in a way that feels 'safe' or approachable for people? Or how to simplify complex conversations, be more concise and friendly in getting a point across?
When you truly own your nervosity, that will transform into a new form of deep, unshakable confidence. Because when you own your nervosity, you don't have anything to fear anymore. You might be nervous, yes, but you're not letting it stop you from acting as you want. You don't need to be "confident". Confidence comes from owning your nervosity and acting DESPITE it.
Thanks for this interesting and insightful video! And since you asked for ideas for topics, how about this: When befriending someone (especially if both people are single), it can be unclear whether there's a romantic interest or not. This can stop people from talking for fear their interest will be misinterpreted. It would seem awkward to ask or assume there's romantic interest when there's not.
Hi David! Gotta say, I love how informative and thought through your videos are. I am a UA-camr myself and I realize how much work goes behind all the material to be able to bring it to us listeners. Great content! Is there a way to contact you? I have just a few questions related to the topics you talk about
Thank you Sofia! If you got any questions related to the videos, I appreciate any comments on the videos. I read everything. Otherwise, here's my contact info: socialpronow.com/contact/
@@SofiaCreate Great question! I've written my best recommendations on books about social skills over here: socialpronow.com/blog/books-improve-social-skills/
God made everyone in this world so we should always look at the good in people if people are judging u you should pray the judging stops when u pray and imagine urself in a white light
And it makes me emotional because I’ve just wanted answers and help for so long. I’m an extrovert who grew up so isolated and now I’m having social skill issues but I’m 22
That example of one guy at your gym coming up to you saying his hands were sweaty hit a chord in me. I worry a ton when with strangers or relatives I do not know well; I have to force myself to ask questions since I'm afraid it is bad, and it all feels so artificial, opposite of authentic; I think of the situation from their perspective, I try to say things or adapt to them, I'm fast to adopt their opinions on stuff, only afterwards realizing I had a different opinion; heck, even walking into the kitchen as a guest feels scary, since they are there and I need to smalltalk, and just today this evening I sneaked down into the kitchen to get a sandehich -- and I felt I was a freak for being so quiet while my distant relatives were trying to sleep while I was looking for butter like a thief in the night. I FEEL STRESS OUT OF THIS, my muscles are tight and I fear if I am not able to expose myself to what causes my social anxiety my quality of life will suffer more..
I’m amazed this doesn’t have at least a million views… this is like exactly what I’ve been looking for
I have a habit of wording my questions wrongly. They are perhaps too probing, strong or overly personal. I have watched all your videos from the beginning just this morning, and think they seem very useful and perhaps even easy to apply but nothing is ever that simple for me, even though I think your tips might make things slightly easier for me.
I know it will take a different mindset and practice but I think what would be helpful is to hear many many more questions like the examples you have used so far. Ideally a larger set of different questions for many different settings. I feel that the more I hear these types of questions the more might stick in my brain so I will feel confident and recall them quick enough to use them myself.
The reason I need to do this is that I am going for a job interview with a different department at work. I know that an important quality for this job is to be personable and get on with people so that they will want to do things for me. The job is construction project manager for a housing association so I need builders, site managers and the agents who work as a go between to like me and enjoy working with me. Trouble is I have always struggled socially and been a little awkward. I struggle to remember what someone told me last time we met so am then reluctant to talk to them again as i'm afraid they will think I am stupid for forgetting what they told me and/or ignorant and uninterested for not following up on what they previously told me. Even minutes later I can have forgotten what they told me. I think it may be anxiety or nerves, so maybe too much going on in my head to really listen to what they are saying. A previous video of yours seemed to nail it on the head when you said people are too busy thinking of the next question to really listen. I think that is me to a T. I am nervous of there being an awkward silence when the other person has finished speaking whilst I think of the right thing to say next. I am not confident that my brain will think of the right questions to ask if I listen to them intently or am worried I will think of a great question but then have forgotten it by the time they've finished speaking. This happens to me a lot.
I have found your videos more helpful than most but just need more examples of questions to ask which are different to what most of these types of videos dish out as they don't seem natural or helpful to me. Yours do but I need more examples of them in more scenarios.
As I said before I have put in an application for this job. My problem is that the person who will be interviewing me (provided I get an interview) sits almost opposite me at work. I am now almost afraid to talk to her as i'm afraid she will think i'm trying to influence her decision so have decided to try to apply your lessons to colleagues around me in order to try to prove to her that I could have the right personality for the job after all. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for your videos so far. I have found them helpful and hope to practice applying your techniques very soon so that I can get out of my current minimum wage job and into a decent job i think I would actually be very good at apart from this one aspect. Thanks again. X
Hittade just din hemsida! Jag tycker att den är väldigt hjälpsam och rakt på sak för mig som har autism och undrar mkt över vad som gick fel i möten med andra och hur jag kan förstå sociala situationer bättre. Tack!
Good advice on “owning” yourself at the moment. I think it works for owning your nervousness too if you feel nervous for some reason and get worried about what others perceive about your nervousness. just own that your nervous right now and be fine with it and whatever effect it has on others’ opinions. Focus outward, listen to others, instead of being hyper-aware of yourself, and see if you could benefit them despite your state of nervousness.
Thank you David. I really appreciate all the information you put out there. You have such a personable and calm way of explaining the message you are trying to convey. Your thoughts and ideas on how to improve yourself in social situations have given me many good ideas to try going forward.....thanks very much.
Hugely informative, really enjoyed the flow of ideas one from another and how they linked together nicely. Most people may skip past a video like this, because it isn't flashy or have a fancy thumbnail, but they are missing out on quality useable information, great video, keep it up!
How to deal with issues of insecurity? Like you feel confident. But when u hear that someone else is being praised you feel jealous or insecure and you are not good enough. Please make a video on overcoming insecurities.
Hi Ananya, the SOAL-method I talked about here fits that problem perfectly:
ua-cam.com/video/vbMSDPrSbRE/v-deo.html
Hope that helps!
Excellent video , great explanation thank you so so much 🙂 peace and love
This was very helpful and I've seen examples of "ownership" work in real life before
Thank you so much!
:) Hi. I did think this video was wow, amazing, got me turned on and brought me to my kindest side because I’ve learned about my husband/my friend/love. It also put a smile on my face. I would share more about my feelings about it but I was at a point I was feeling I was under a spell. As I was trying to go through, what, I feel, about my love’s about me and I couldn’t concentrate. I truly tried to understand this video. I forget the rest that had happened. Well here’s my comment. Thank u so very much for the speech u made. I want to learn the whole video all over again and more of it.
How to be friends with your classmates that see you as the "shy girl" , and talk to them
Hi liked your video but i want you to say something to overcome nervousness and how to immediately respond in a conversation or to a comment. i sometime just get blank at the moment but later on when thinking over i realise i should have answered this way. Thanks
Hey.. Thank you for these videos, they are fantastic :)
Something I have struggled with many times, is this:
So, I have an interest in a very broad range of topics. I study and read a lot of things, not to an expert level but enough to have a solid understanding, to form new ideas and have a dialogue around them.
I have all kinds of thoughts, theories, possibilities pop into my head. I really want to talk about them! Just to discuss, see if anyone has any relevant information, can help me prove or disprove, anything interesting to add. Sometimes the topics can be controversial, or the ideas unusual.. Nothing insane, often semi-abstract lines of reasoning or off-the-cuff hypothesis that I think may have not been considered before. Often there is a lot to say if I were to explain to anyone how I got from a to b. I try to pare it down but then without the resoning it looks like i'm just coming out with random nonsense.
Nobody wants to broach the topics at all. I do not understand whether a. I am writing too much, b. The ideas are too complex and daunting, or just not topics that people like, c. I am putting things across in a way that puts people off from engaging, or d. Everyone thinks i'm either stupid or 'not as clever as I like to think I am', or even just an out and out nutjob.
I guess I am asking... Do you have any advice on how to generate discussion in a way that feels 'safe' or approachable for people? Or how to simplify complex conversations, be more concise and friendly in getting a point across?
Thank you so much
Great video. I dont know if i can own confidence tho, i think i can only own my nervousness and thats what i constantly feel.
When you truly own your nervosity, that will transform into a new form of deep, unshakable confidence. Because when you own your nervosity, you don't have anything to fear anymore. You might be nervous, yes, but you're not letting it stop you from acting as you want.
You don't need to be "confident". Confidence comes from owning your nervosity and acting DESPITE it.
Thanks for this really useful video 🙏
Your videos are so precious!
I think you should have been here in 2021 too believe me your subscriber have been increased bcs your video is really good and have insight
Beautiful video.😊Would like to make a motivational post for my insta public blog upon this.Can i give u credit and offer this link in my post?
Thanks for this interesting and insightful video! And since you asked for ideas for topics, how about this: When befriending someone (especially if both people are single), it can be unclear whether there's a romantic interest or not. This can stop people from talking for fear their interest will be misinterpreted. It would seem awkward to ask or assume there's romantic interest when there's not.
Please elaborate further in simple way about ownership. Tq
Very benificial
Hi David! Gotta say, I love how informative and thought through your videos are. I am a UA-camr myself and I realize how much work goes behind all the material to be able to bring it to us listeners. Great content! Is there a way to contact you? I have just a few questions related to the topics you talk about
Thank you Sofia!
If you got any questions related to the videos, I appreciate any comments on the videos. I read everything.
Otherwise, here's my contact info: socialpronow.com/contact/
What books related to the topics in your videos would you recommend ?
@@SofiaCreate Great question! I've written my best recommendations on books about social skills over here: socialpronow.com/blog/books-improve-social-skills/
Your next video might be on how to be more optimistic
God made everyone in this world so we should always look at the good in people if people are judging u you should pray the judging stops when u pray and imagine urself in a white light
This time around is soo different from my understanding from the first.
Okay, ownership is name of the game.
So in summary be "Yes Chad"
How do i instantly calm myself in a social situation?
Check out my video about the SOAL-method: ua-cam.com/video/vbMSDPrSbRE/v-deo.html
Example of t-shirts isn't same for girls. They even too much notice the every fashion and remember even copy the things