@@ocytocine96 In the podcast Ethan was talking about how Frienemies was getting criticism about being problematic and that there are negative videos/articles made about the show, but Trisha said it's not all hate - she said she saw a positive video about the podcast made by Psych IRL, which is this vid!
dril tweeted “everyone less mentally ill than me is privileged, everyone more mentally ill than me is toxic, everyone equally mentally ill to me is cool” and that basically explains how the internet operates
This is exactly how I've been treated all life by nuerotypical people. They use this as an excuse to treat people mentally worse than them as shit on every level. It's disgusting when those same people say they're "an advocate for mental health". I wish they could witness my mental breakdowns, panic attacks, psychotic episodes, and say that to my face....
A big issue I have with the talk about mental health is how people have started using words like triggered, god complex, manic, etc, as buzzwords. Triggered does not mean upset. God complex does not mean you’re simply over confident. No one calls anyone out on it either. ‘Mental breakdowns’ is also a buzzword now too.
Omg THANK YOU. People pick up words they see on social media and use them incorrectly to the point where it’s dangerous. People will celebrate creators who make “mental breakdown” videos and it’s just them talking about how something sad happened and they’ve been crying for a while but when people actually witness public psychotic breaks they demonise them and call them crazy. Just look at the comments under Amanda Bynes’ posts. She’s not even having any obvious current issues, and she’s not posting anything that is genuinely worrying but people will still comment “this is so scary” “this is disturbing” “someone needs to help her” like?????
@@fabpanda5961 good call, I was going to add in gaslighting & psychopath. According to commenters on Reddit, any time anyone disagrees and argues with someone in a video, they're gaslighting them haha
I have found that the mainstreaming of ‘acceptance’ of mental illness doesn’t extend to much more than a bit of mild depression and anxiety. Once you get in to things like self injury, paranoia, delusions, alienating yourself from other with bizarre behaviour, mania, hearing voices etc, people just don’t want to deal with it and their empathy disappears pretty quickly.
This is so true. But also, many people aren’t trained to properly deal with the harmful sides of mental illness. Not everyone is capable of being a crutch
@@oliviayoot4135 that’s true and I don’t think people are denying that, what they *are* saying is that people often completely dismiss and/or outcast people struggling with more complex mental health disorders while at the same time preaching acceptance and awareness for “mental health problems”. Nobody is asking everyone to be at their beck and call or act as mental health nurses, just to simply not ostracise us from friendship groups, families or communities for struggling with these illnesses.
@@oliviayoot4135 we don’t want people to be crutches for us. We want people to stop acting like they care about us unconditionally when they simply don’t. It’s okay not to support everyone with a mental illness or to not be able to tolerate certain mental illnesses, just don’t act like you do and lie about it all the time. I’ve met way too many people who act like mental health advocates who have publicly humiliated and shamed me for having mental illnesses. It’s extremely disrespectful and disheartening
It seems like more people are aware of mental health issues in theory, but when they are actually seeing someone go through a rough period, they can’t identify what’s actually going on.
the problem is. people think mental health illness is ALWAYS manageable because thats what influencers always tell them it is. Influencers use their very normal not at all disorders fluctuations in emotions as an excuse to not work hard... as a result, people think being mentally ill means being perfectly functional all the time, being fully aware of your actions all the time and being perfectly reasonable and capable of rational thought and rational reactions all the time but just with boughts of sadness here and there. people think being depressed, bipolar, having GAD, having BPD etc. just means feeling sad for no reason once in a while and feeling anxious once in a while or in social situations in which its totally normal and reasonable to be axious. So when those people see someone who is actually very unstable, cant control their thoughts and actions, behave very irrationally and are very difficult to deal with, they just think that person is a bad person... Influencers think they are mental health advocates but actually they just created more of a stigma around actual disordered behavior than there was before by creating a false perception of what mental illness actually looks like.
If you don't know what to say, show it with your eyes and body. Give them a hug or a comforting "I'm here for you" squeeze of the shoulder. Answer texts and calls like a normal person and show that a desire for normalcy is there. Grief is scary, but people make it scarier than it really is. From the outside looking in, all you need to be is a stable presence and a comforting smile. It all seems so complicated, but normally wired people can be a comfort without really trying.
Yep. Or people are ‘all for mental health’ until... MeNtaL hEAltH iS NoT aN eXcUsE because WHEN I WAS such and such I DIDN’T... blah blah blah. Like wow that’s great for you! Mental illnesses and mental health is different for everyone. People can find it easier to relate to depression and anxiety because those are also normal human emotions that everyone experiences in their life (without it being clinical depression/anxiety) but then when they see actual chronic clinical depression and everything that comes with it... well no it’s not an excuse to have a messy house that’s just lazy🙄 (That’s the best example I can’t think of rn - my ADD brain hasn’t had its meds yet. It gets worse the more different the mental health disorder like bipolar, personality disorders etc) Even though it’s is an explanation. And you can still hold someone accountable. You don’t have to excuse their behaviour. People don’t seem to get that and they just throw that line out there and boom all ‘empathy’ they had tried to express before is just... irrelevant.
27:37 "it will get better" is used so frequently to motivate people to hang in there, but most people assume "better" means you can/will 'overcome' the mental illness when in reality "better" for most of us is just being able to manage our mental issues. They may never fully go away, and better can be temporary, and i really feel like not enough people understand that.
Yes ! Good to see you say that ! When I tell people that 'I got better' they assume that my depression is gone for good, that I'm 'cured' what they don't understand is that even if my suicidal phase was more than 10 years ago, maintaining my mental health at a level where I can function in society requires daily maintenance and constant monitoring, I was depressed for most of my life and so my baseline for 'I'm doing okay' is pretty low and I don't always notice when I get worse. So when I say 'I'm not good right now' and people say 'I thought you weren't depressed anymore' it truly feels like either they don't give a fuck about me, or I'm somehow a whinny bitch.
I hate that mentality so much. As someone who's been through the ringer, thinking I was broken was so counter productive. No you can get better. In fact, if we put you in a perfect world, you would instantly be better. I used to have suicidal thoughts, like once a month, maybe more. But I managed to find a larger purpose in life, and suddenly ending it all went from an option to completely off the table-- in the same category as, like, stabbing 4 alligators. Oh my god, your post has so many likes and everyone seems to be agreeing with you. You people are going to be sad the rest of your lives. Please don't think like this
@@nicholasn.2883 As someone who delt with depression for so long it was all they knew, this was thought process was necessary for me to continue pursuing recovery. I'll admit the way I worded the post was not the most clear, so let me be clear now, I was not trying to say you cannot get better, but that recovery is not a linear process and should not be given up on just because you aren't making the progress you think you should, or because you still struggle with the same issues from time to time after getting better. I'm happy you are doing well and don't have to worry about suicidal ideation. For me personally, I'm very happy, I'm doing the best I ever have tbh and have been stable for a decent amount of time. Despite this I still deal with intrusive thoughts and random bouts of depressive mood that pop up out of nowhere. Being happy is not a given for me, it is something I had to work for and cultivate skill to maintain. I'm building a life and support system that will help me sustain a better happy future. I had to work hard for happy, and that's OK. I want other people to know that's OK, and feel motivated to continue fighting to be happy to even if it seems like their brain will never let them. it does NOT make us broken. I should've made that clear in the original post. Thanks for your input!
A lot of mentally ill people are toxic but the major problem with acknowledging that is how many people equate toxicity with being evil and undeserving of sympathy or forgiveness. It makes it extremely hard for toxic people to acknowledge their own toxic behavior and if they do it can often lead to even more toxic behavior in the form of guilt tripping and other manipulation tactics to force others to forgive them, and many toxic people will readily call out toxic behavior in others while ignoring it in themselves and other people who express their mental health issues similarly.
@V P do you know what "toxic" means? And when you say way worse when no one's watching what does that mean? That their mental health is worse or that they deserve the severe criticism (which would've been a better way to put that than castigated, how do you even know that word you are the first person I have ever seen use it and I read late 1800s translations of ancient greek philosophers for fun)
@KB 86 "what do you mean there is more to the world than the beliefs of my current time? EVERYWHERE EVERYTIME SHOULD CONFORM TO THE STANDARDS OF MY DEMOGRAPHIC NOW!!" -most people in this generation
@V P I mean narcissistic personality disorder is a thing but yeah, not all toxic people have a mental illness, that doesn't mean that toxic mentally ill people aren't still toxic and a problem though
As someone with actual ADHD and anxiety, I want to say, people only like it when you’re the funny one. But when you actually start having complications like low attention span or needing stimulation, that is inconvenient to neurological typical people, that’s when you’re being told “omg just focus is not that hard” that’s how mental conditions work, maybe is not hard for you, but for me it is.
Adding: what I’ve described all makes me sound like a total ass but it’s really just what happens if I’m not putting forth my extreme best effort not to act Iike an ass during every conversation I ever have in my life. I try so hard and no one can see that I’m even trying until I mess up
@@ab7974 I can feel this so much. I loose track of a conversation way too easily, especially if it’s between 3 or more people, I will forget stuff people talk to me about not so long ago, I have to put all efforts into focusing on something or have at least some level of stimulation, because there’s always the “too much stimulation” and “not enough stimulation” It happens to me that when I’m in class and everything is so silent, I get an anxiety attack, and I start squirming in my seat and bouncing my leg
@@alcerdemon9768 my son is struggling with this during remote learning and I already know he's gonna have to bounce around, we tell him to just get up and move around, it's better that he has the teacher on in the background and gets moving vs. not paying attention because he's trying to control himself. It's been working so far, he has been able to keep up w class, while also releasing the energy he has.
god I remember that era of Tumblr. People were straight sharing black and white photos of themselves self harming with song lyrics in the caption. It was honestly kind of traumatising in a way.
I have CPTSD and I think what annoys me is when I tell someone about my illness they say oh that's fine but whenever a symptom appears they say "your illness isn't an excuse" and offer zero support. It's not an excuse but it is... an illness? I can slowly heal but I can't magic it away for your convenience. Social media has slightly normalised mild anxiety and depression, but not anything else. God forbid a neurodivergent person actually does something neurodivergent.
I have bipolar, and my sister tells me she "supports" me by not "endorsing my lifestyle" if she notices I'm not working because I'm depressed. If I try to reason, she digs for past episodes that prove, in her eyes, that I actually can do stuff normally when depressed. The use of the word "lifestyle" Is what hurts me the most. I know you were just sharing your story, but I felt compelled to share mine, the anger and sadness that comes from this kind of stuff Is difficult to overcome.
It's like how having a cold isn't an excuse to sneeze on someone but sometimes it happens anyway, even if you're trying not to. People fuck up and mental illnesses aren't always going to stay in check even when they're well managed, we have to offer sympathy and understanding to people when they lose control and do something they don't agree with
I think what they don’t understand is that when you might say “I’m feeling depressed or it’s my BPD” you’re not using it to cover your actions with an excuse. What you’re trying to do is give them a sense of insight to why you are behaving a certain way. What another person will lack is understanding the complex issues that are taking place in your mind that tend to control your behaviour. What they need to understand is that there is a person with a severe case of fragmentation or other complex issues and that does bring a person to narrow down their thinking in catastrophic episodes. But what they also need or expect from someone with a mental disorder is genuine self evaluation, awareness and a step forward in healing or re-assembling. Genuine work to help a themselves, friendship or family system function healthier. People with disorders or illness really need to stay kind to themselves and practice mindfulness. Write out thoughts and ideas and put in a new perspective on them every now and then. Really need to take the time to believe we can make changes. It’s easy for others to see when and how we are ruining our own lives, but it’s surely hard for us to see it or change it ourselves / it’s easy for us to see how someone is ruining their lives but it’s harder for them to see it themselves. People just need to lend help and perspective. And we need to listen to each other and our own self.
@CrappyOneshots "explanation is not an excuse", that's what I like to tell people when they either believe they're not wrong for having hurt someone because of their mental illness, or they believe I'm attempting to excuse my own behavior when I explain that my mental illness can cause me to lash out and I don't actually mean the things I say when I'm having an episode. Explanations can make it easier to forgive people and feel sympathy for them, but that doesn't mean that you have to forgive them. Forgiveness is earned through changing or managing your behavior to minimise the negative effect you have on others, and even then the forgiveness isn't always going to come from the person you hurt, it might come from the people you meet in future who hear about what you've done, but are in your life enough to know you're better than that now. The person you hurt never has to forgive you and to try and make them through excuses is manipulative and toxic in itself.
yes!!!!!! this reminds me of drama with sweet anita - she's a streamer with a severe case of tourettes and she said the n word as a tick a few times. she received such backlash, people literally said "i know she has tourettes, but she shouldn't have said that".... like do you even know what tourettes is? she literally screams "im a pedo" in subway, i really don't think she enjoys that either.
I feel for her because people say she's faking bc she has/had that tic but also say she's faking bc she didn't have it when she first started streaming.
I was dumbfounded to find out her father is black. Part of what happens with tourrettes is if someone says not to say or do something, you're likely to do it.
I feel like a symptom of mental illness that gets pushed aside is intrusive thoughts. I have OCD and for the longest time I was almost scared of myself. I would grab my little brother’s shoulders to stop him from walking too far ahead and randomly think “I could snap his neck right now”, then immediately let go and feel disgusted. I thought I was a terrible person for even letting such a thing cross my mind and it messed with me for quite a while. At this point it’s become easier to deal with since I know I would never act on those impulses, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable telling anyone besides a therapist since it’s hard to understand when you haven’t had the experience.
I think almost everyone has had intrusive thoughts before, call of the void and such, im not sure if knowledge its relatively common could help you deal with them better but regardless I wish you luck in dealing with them if they are causing issues!
I have OCD and suffer from intrusive thoughts too so I know its extremely scary and tough to go through. It feels like you're trapped somewhere with no way out. My piece of advice would be to trust yourself and believe in yourself. Therapy for OCD is challenging but I've improved so much since starting, and I've also taken steps back instead of forward with my mental illness. Don't feel bad if you have episodes or are feeling very low because there's no need to feel guilty about it. Our thoughts are neutral, sometimes they are pleasant and other times they're not, and they doesn't change or determine who we are. The brain thinks about different possibilities and images which is extremely and completely normal. You are not disgusting or a bad person but simply a person. It took me years to tell my therapist about my intrusive thoughts because I was so scared. A few months ago, I was able to tell my family and some people close to me. I trusted them and believed in myself yet it was still terrifying having to say it out loud. Although these words are just words, I hope they provide you with comfort, even if it is just for a moment.
I don't think I have OCD and also have intrusive thoughts, lately it was when I was driving and my family was in the car, I sometimes think "I could just swerve and kill us all". I don't think it's that uncommon to have these thoughts, but because they're scary and weird no one really wants to talk about it.
I have diagnosed ocd and adult adhd which is a fucking nightmare combo, unfortunately I've been out of therapy and off medication for 2 years (ongoing shitty financial situation), the thing that's given me respite : for the past year I've been following a high energy and really rigid schedule, morning workout then work then structured hobby times and 30min-1hour walks btw meals everyday at the same times down to the second, a fixed high calorie diet (learnt around 20 diff recipes that i make and don't waste time looking for new things) to match my energy needs because I'm working out so much and most importantly completely deleted social media and stopped putting myself in unpredictable social situations. Just wanted to share this for anyone who is in the same situation but can't get a lot of outside help, it's pretty much completely stopped my intrusive thoughts, occasionally i get too tired to continue the schedule for a day or two and it throws me off but when i can get myself to start back on it it gets easier. I'm not a psychologist and i know the solution is different for everyone but if you've tried things and it hasn't worked, then it doesn't hurt to try one more thing and i hope we all can get relief fron these feelings and live a full life 😔❤️
I feel this, as someone who has pretty severe ADHD. I feel like my disorder is constantly getting glamorized as a "quirky" disorder. It has literally ruined my life. At one point I was on track to having an 0.3 GPA because I had a month long episode where I just could not do school.
Speaking as a teacher: I've had to learn how to recognize signs of hyper disorders and behaviours and learning disabilities. It's always such a revelation to me how many parents have no idea how debilitating it is to their child that is suffering from it. They live with them, they have to learn how to deal with it, yet have no concept of how much the actual student suffers. It's almost like they think the student is inflicting it on them v it being a normal for them. If it's not in their brain, they can't wrap their thoughts around it.
Hey, just wanted to say I really emphasize with your story. I went through the same thing, severe ADHD which led to nearly dropping out of school to stay home and drink every day. It’s so important we speak about the non-glamorous part of ADHD, especially now that it’s become such a popular topic online.
I had a mental break down in college because of a class where i had to write a 60 page argumentative research paper and i couldn't wrap my head around it at all with my ADHD and since it was required i just left school and never went back. ADHD is so fun and quirky amirite -_-
I am an extremely high functioning person with adhd, as I come from a family that seems to have some intelligent genes that get passed down, but my adhd broke my 4.0 first semester on my easiest class. SPED 4000, and it wasn’t tests, it was basically completion busy work, but I couldn’t do it for the second two thirds of the semester without trying very very hard, I was also (and still am) experiencing a manic depressive episode, but yeah, my friends would tell me I just needed to do it, and it was near impossible to explain that I just couldn’t manage it
Its crazy how many youtubers r fans of/ watch the frenimies podcast from superraydizzle an art youtuber to X a minecraft youtuber r u kidding me this is so cool!
This is why having bipolar disorder is difficult for people to comprehend even conceptually, let alone empathize with. People tend to accept that I'm not always "me" but that's about it. When I'm outlandish, impulsive, don't sleep, and am insanely irritable all of a sudden for 2 weeks they don't ask themselves "hm, is this a display of her mental illness?" because they've been conditioned to think "she's not acting depressed so she must be ok." Then they get upset when I later try to apologize for my actions because they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that someone can be suffering when they aren't sad.
As a fellow bipolar I couldn't agree more. Additionally, I hate when people use, "sad," to describe bipolar depression. It's infinitely worse than, "sad." At least you're someone who recognizes that, if an episode (manic or depressive) negatively affected someone else (unintentionally of course), you apologize for it. I refuse to be someone that uses my illness to justify hurting others or behaving badly, but if I inadvertently do, it's my job to take responsibility for that behaviour, regardless. All we can do, is put in the work to manage our illness, and acknowledge our missteps if/when they happen. Imo, if at that point, others still don't want to be forgiving at the very least, I don't need them in my life. My illness isn't an excuse, but if someone can't accept a genuine apology, they're not worth keeping around.
people cant be angry and upset with you for being horrible to them because you're mentally ill? am i misunderstanding here because that's what it sounds like. my mental illness doesn't excuse my shitty actions, its only an explanation and its my responsibility to fix.
yeah because accepting mentall ilness for real (not just saying so on the internet) is really hard and being ill in the rough rough reality means loneliness for a big part. Because nobody HAS TO BE WITH YOU when you are difficult and everybody has a right to defend or remove themselves from unhealthy situation. This acceptance that we can see on social medial is maybe just a first step towards real solutions in the future. Because for now there are not so many real remedies for ilnesses...
@@vismattress5760 Three months late, but still felt the need to reply. They’re not saying people can’t be upset with them because they’re mentally ill. They literally said they try to apologize for their actions, which leads me to believe that they know mental illness isn’t an excuse. I have borderline personality disorder, so it’s not the exact same as bipolar, but I do understand what they mean. Yes, people are allowed to be upset when they feel hurt by our actions / words, but the way our illness gets pushed aside is hurtful in itself. If you display any symptoms besides sadness, you don’t deserve to be empathized with. An example: my ex best friend and I got into a fight a while ago which was the cause of the end of our friendship. I take full responsibility that I could’ve handled things better and communicate what I was feeling. However, instead of trying to listen to me she immediately responded with hostility, saying I was making things up and that I was obsessed with her. She knew what I was dealing with, that I was going through a hard time, that I was insecure, yet she didn’t take some time to figure out that my mental illness was the cause of this. She didn’t even have a personality disorder or anything, she had an eating disorder, but I still walked on eggshells around her in fear that I would trigger a potential suicide attempt. I tried my best to help her with her disorder, yet she never gave me the same energy in return. Not to say one illness is worse than the other, but it goes to show that less ‘mainstream’ mental illnesses don’t get nearly as much sympathy or kindness. Dare I say they’re not given any thought at all. Because it’s much more complex than (mild) depression or anxiety, people tend to call us crazy lunatics who are bad people and inherently abusive and selfish. When I tried to apologize to my ex best friend I not only apologized for my lack of communication, but also for my illness. Which is so stupid that I felt the need to do that, but I’ve been villainized so many times because I’m mentally ill that I apologized for being mentally ill. It wasn’t even that far of a reach on my part. She said she doesn’t know if she wants to be friends again, because she’s finally doing better. Aka: she’s doing better because my disorder isn’t a factor anymore. I made a mistake and because of that I lost a friend. Anyway, moral of the story! Like you said: it’s an explanation. It is our *responsibility* to fix the issue, but it’s not our *fault*. We deserve to be listened to and to be heard even if our illness isn’t as ‘easy’ to understand as depression.
There are also a huge chunk of women being diagnosed with BPD, who are later diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I have spoken to many women with CPTSD and a late diagnosis of autism. I am not sure if anyone has ever mentioned this to you, but you might look into it. It changed my life.
@@idgafcba it's important to know your actual diagnosis, it's not a "label". Different conditions require different treatment plans. I was misdiagnosed bipolar and was put on intense heavy duty meds because of the misdiagnosis. Deciding mental health conditions are just "labels" is basically saying they are all similar and can be dealt with the same way.
@@idgafcba it makes a huge difference when you have spent your whole life trying to understand “what’s wrong with you.” Being diagnosed with autism helped me understand the choices and reactions I have had to situations. It helped me understand my sensory sensitivities. It helped me connect with others who have had similar experiences to me. It allowed me to find more applicable research, which in turn has helped me find better modalities for coping with a variety of issues. But, just having a good quality therapist would have helped. DBT is helpful for those on the spectrum, and people with BPD. My therapist believed I had BPD tendencies, but never mentioned that DBT is effective for MANY to go into remission from BPD symptoms. He just kept using my family as a cash cow for drama appointments. I was able to research BPD, learn about DBT, and then eventually found a scientific research study about the crossover of symptoms between BPD and ASD. Found a new psychiatrist, and got assessed at 29. Labels can be wrong, but a correct dx can also help you learn from others experiences.
@@meghan1355 I would suggest googling BPD vs CPTSD. I don’t want to overstep by copy pasting things in here, I think it would be better to go out and do that investigating on your own a bit.
One other very very interesting thing from the podcast with Dr Drew was how he said her experience as identifying male was actually common, and he didn't invalidate it at all. After how much hate she got for that, and a mental health professional said that yes, it is a thing, and it does, in fact happen as she explained. Another aspect of the misunderstanding of her that I thought was fascinating.
Its interesting because we all have reasons for doing things, where is the line between understanding someone struggles and holding people accountable?
People with BPD struggle with identity issues, Trisha is a clear example of that. I loved that episode, it really humanized trish and I noticed there was positive feedback from the fans too
@@ca-ke9493 bruh autism is all about that shit cause autism is too woven into people, has different severities and to a certain degree its possible to overcome or work around many things, so when i dont have a fat chance of a clue that someone was upset with me all along because they didnt explicitly tell me, then i dont know either, im not sure how exactly i was supposed to know but i cant say for sure i couldnt have somehow figured it out. i can only show my understanding of someone else when everythings been explained and then take accountability, but sometimes thats too late. but then i dont know whether to hold them accountable for that either, because they never explained themselves to me. its a mess. its an existential mess
@@ca-ke9493 I understand taking accountability (and this is strictly for non criminal behavior)but at the same who are we to demand accountability for her personal struggles?.Our participation is viewing what happens in her life...If we are offended by what she does or says is she accountable to us personally? I think people in your day to day life are who holds you accountable...like spouse, family, friends.
Tumblr practically fetishizied mental illness and we're still seeing the side effects. As someone who has been treated for depression, has family with severe mental health issues, the Tumblr trend to glorify depression and anxiety always bothered me. I've never been able to articulate why and how as well as this video has.
I had a whole class of psych mejors tell me to get more sunlight for my depression. When I said Im sensitive to sunlight so it makes me feel worse all they said was "but it makes meee feel better." They all agreed with eachother and acted like I was way out of line. Whats wose is the teacher (a licensed psychologist) agreed with them and told me to try it. Ugh
I wish people would stop saying "we are all depressed" because it paints depression as a common feeling of sadness rather than a very real mental illness caused by neurotransmitter imbalances.
One thing I've noticed is that while mental health awareness may have grown with social media, stigma has not actually gone down irl and people's level of acceptance is still largely conditional. Someone actually dealing with delusions, true anxiety, mania, true (not simply conditional sadness) depression, paranoia, etc, who is actually hindered in their socialization and overall functioning by their mental health will still be treated as if their problems are due to moral failings or personality flaws. The second that your mental health actually affects you on a way that is inconvenient for others, you are labelled as "crazy"
Yo, try having BPD, panic attacks severe enough to make you pass out, and random psychotic episodes all the time. It truly debilitated. And people genuinely have 0 kindness in their hearts for it. The awareness has increased, and it means nothing. It's just so nuerotypical people can sit back and comfort themselves - it's virtue signaling.
having lived through tumblr and being active on tiktok now, tiktok is tumblr 2.0 but worse in my opinion. this problem isn’t gonna get better without some big changes :((
it’s also harmful to the average person. suddenly, we cannot just be sad. we have to romanticize our sadness, call ourselves “depressed.” i’m sad as fuck after losing my girlfriend, but i cannot ever call myself depressed truth is? we’ve NEVER normalized being open and truthful over our emotions. we’ve normalized commercializing and romanticizing it.
The topic of mental health on the internet upsets me so much. Everyone is "accepting", "an advocate" and "raising awareness", but only as long as it looks pretty and can be cured in half a year. As soon as someone is severely affected by mental illness, people turn their backs and scream toxic.
Oh! I remember a conversation i had with a friend after we watched “To the Bone”. At the end, the girl has a relapse in her ED and comes back to the house where she was rehabilitating (or so to speak). My friend was upset because she was expecting her to “get better” and “be happy”. I was baffled by that, because i loved how open the ending was. Of course she’s not gonna recover just like that, that’s not how it works. You can work your ass off for something and it can sometimes not pay off. But at the end she’s starting to heal, she’s starting to recognize a problem and she’s moving forward and that made me really happy because the movie shows that healing is not linear and sometimes you just don’t get a proper happy ending
For neurotypicals like myself stuff like this can get frustrating because we have no experience with the sort of inner struggle that type of message evokes. It has really taken a lot of communication for me to understand the struggles of mental health and I'm still learning. I'm glad your friend had you there to at least share your personal and valid interpretation. I think it is a lot more optimistic.
I thought the movie “Feed” by Trioan Bellisario was a more accurate depiction of an Eating Disorder. It really feels like someone else is with you when your in the disorder. And the ending was a bit ambiguous as to weather or not she was going to relapse or recover. That’s more realistic overall. It’s a good Eating Disorder movie.
i got really caught up with the reviews for this movie and how they said it was problematic, so i avoided it since i already struggle with drug addictions, my mental health and have always felt some kinda way about my body. I read this comment and like immediately went to watch so thank you so much! I just finished it and came back to this, it was a great movie.
Mental health matters until the person with it portrays mental health symptoms and they’re villianized if they can’t “get over it” over time as if mental illness isn’t a lifelong thing. But this also doesn’t mean every action can and should be excused.
As we've seen with Kanye, as soon as someone is actually symptomatic of their mental illness (which may often include horrible offensive behavior) they are ridiculed and mocked.
Nah ppl like Kanye can get the best therapists and drs in the world to help but he chooses not to to protect his ✨creativity ✨🤨 Then his actions effect the election and the whole damn country, at least she tries to help herself.
Although, that doesnt mean that mental health should allow people to say what they want. Of course there are different severities of mental health issues, but that doesnt mean people should be left unchecked
Problem is that Kanye West has always been an asshole, not just in his manic phase. Besides that, he’s surrounded by so many people who could tell him to seek help and he refuses to do so. We shouldn’t consider mental illness as an excuse to do and say literally anything you want. If I were depressed and I went around town insulting every person I came across, I wouldn’t be justified in my actions just because I suffer from depression.
Mental Illness doesn't mean people shouldn't be held accountable. It would be one thing if Kanye made mistakes or hurt people here and there and then apologized and got the help he needs, but he refuses to do so. There are many people with Kanye's mental illness who manage it and don't act like complete assholes all the time.
@@Raven-mp7bv bipolar disorder cannot be treated with a therapist. and the drug treatment from a psychiatrist is arguably worse than the mental illness itself. there is no 'cure'. stop stigmatizing mental illness.
same! do you also feel like you were perfectly healthy and now 5 years later you're TRULY struggling bc of that time bc it made you believe you actually had these problems?
@@jessipxd same here, i truly believe the internet is a good place because it allows people to have access to information to 'destigmatize' certain illnesses but i have also fallen into the deep hole that is self-diagnosis, and once I fell into a community of people romanticizing it my social chameleonism kicked it. I'm still struggling with it to date, and it has made it worse because I have constant fear that I'm faking it for attention, despite having medication and going to therapy //
Not to make you feel bad in any way I'm just trying to understand... Does one do this because of the lack of self esteem? Or lack of identity so they need to find it thrive faking they have something they don't? As a teenager I was never able to relate to other girls that did this much less ones that cut themselves. It all seemed very very stupid and juvenile.
@@GeneTonics I mean, I think it's usual that as a kid you have like a good/carefree life and the older you get, the more worries come (starts off by not being accepted etc etc..) and I think a lot of younger teenagers struggle to cope with those negative emotions (I mean in my household, mental health was never a thing to be talked about) so they search for consolidation and I think I found that in those online tumblr sites.. It's not a faking it, I truly did feel really bad a lot of the time but I think it made it even worse being online seeing these all negative posts. I mean a wound doesn't heal by letting it bleed and bleed. A broken leg won't get fixed if you keep walking on it. You try to heal it. So what I am trying to say is that probably the underlying issue was already here but what we did with that issue made it even worse. I think it is very condescending of you to say it's stupid and juvenile, I think a lot of people are either just prepositioned to have some type of mental issues (let's say genes, difficult upbringing, trauma, etc.) and self harm is a very real thing even in adulthood/old people (but in different forms like drug abuse or something). But I hope my explanation could help you understand our stupid and juvenile perspective, if you have any further questions please ask Note: this is my experience and what I assume happened to me and from the people I know. English is also not my first language so I apologize if there are incoherent sentence structures.
So basically . . . mental illness is cared about when it’s aesthetically pleasing and NOT when it is portrayed in a realistic, unfiltered, and even ugly way. Both sides exist, but ignoring the “uncomfortable” parts of mental health (like she said) stops us from really understanding what it is. It’s like the beautiful and controlled crying in the movies vs. the ugly and messy crying of real life.
I have ADHD and anxiety. My mental health struggles present in the forms of "meltdowns", anxiety attacks, and anger. It's honestly really embarrassing because I feel like as an adult I should be more in control of my emotions. I can say some of the meanest things when having a panic attack. I explained this to my partner early on into our relationship and thankfully he has been really supportive and understanding. I, of course, still take accountability for my action, but I think it's a fine line for people to walk between forgiveness and enabling. I was very much into sad girl aesthetic Tumblr at it's height, which I think led to some of the shame around how my mental illness presents itself. Thank you so much for talking about this, because I think it's so important.
I have similar issues. People think adhd is "cant sit still" but dont realize a huge part of it is having emotional regulation issues. I have been trying to improve my emotional outbursts for fear of hurting the people I love
I also fell into the Tumblr spell of "mental health issues are cool". Yeah my social anxiety disagrees. Nowadays I'm doing better (and going through therapy), but it was getting really bad before.
Yes!!!! I have ADHD too and the misunderstanding of it is so frustrating. It’s been shown that ADHD brains process the world completely differently than neurotypical brains. It’s not just a focus issue!! It literally impacts every aspect of life that you could think of. I’m happy to hear you’ve found a good support system! That’s amazing and so important to healing
I’ve realised one of the things that contributes to a distorted understanding of mental health issues, is the fact that people tend to assume it’s a linear journey. You have a mental illness, you exhibit symptoms, you get diagnosed, you seek help, you get better. It’s not linear, it’s all over the place. And when they see people relapsing it makes them think they failed in some way? Or they aren’t doing enough or trying harder? Like we aren’t all human.
I think another good example of people's lack of empathy is Azealia Banks. She's been through horrific trauma as a child, like a parent "disciplining" her with a baseball bat, and from what she's recounted in one interviews I read ages ago (but can't remember where), it sounds like she went through early childhood sexualization. Instead of telling her to get help for her bipolar disorder, wishing her luck and understanding she's going through an episode, people online instead call her crazy, degrade her and some even go so far as to say she should kill herself because of her seemingly attention-seeking behaviour of insulting anyone and everyone. Kanye has said similar and sometimes even worse things, like comparing himself to Hitler. He also suffers from bipolar disorder, like Azealia. And even though the tide seems to slowly be changing, as * some * people had empathy when he was going through his recent episode and announcing his run for president, the change doesn't seem like it's enough. And this slow tide of empathy definitely has not extended towards women in the limelight. People would rather swallow razorblades than extend the empathy and understanding they did to Kanye to Azealia as well. I subconsciously felt that bias too, and saw her as too "nasty", too "messy" to empathize with... I don't wanna piss anyone off with this next comment, but I am going to say it and if you feel it's too "PC" then, tough luck. But I really feel there may also be a racial/gender element to people's reaction to Azealia vs Kanye too cause it kinda does play into harmful stereotypes of "oh [x] group's personalities is often like this by default" making it subconsciously seem like there's nothing mentally up with the person... like "oh that's just how she is" :/ :(
I already seeing Kanye getting a pass. Azealia has brought it up numerous times that men like him are always forgiven while women are held to a higher standard and aren’t.
I use to hate Kanye but now I am actually neutral to him (not a fan, but I don't hate him or love him). Finding out he suffers from a mental illness actually makes me understand him more and why he does certain things. If you see clips of him he's actually a decent person. Same goes from Trisha, I criticize her for what she's done but I'm neutral to her now after watching this video. Does this excuse their behaviors in the past? No. But do I empathize with them? Of course.
I think it's painfully obvious that people don't realize just how much mental health can make a person unlikable. That's often part of the illness though. The loss of a stable social life. When someone with schizophrenia yells absurd racist stuff in the streets, people see the racism and the awfulness of the person, and they struggle to understand that this person is that way because of things that you shouls emoathize with. It's hard to meet furious racism with empathy.
It even appears in more everyday subtle ways. If you're too blunt or misread social situations consistently and don't realize people are getting upset around you because of a social disorder, neurotypical people may not recognize you didn't mean harm and will write you off forever as a callous jerk or a weirdo. Even people with adhd, anxiety, executive dysfunction, etc. are all forced to abide by schools and deadlines built for neurotypical people only and others may write off someone struggling as a loser beyond help, etc. I just feel people are so quick to judge.
Yeah but how do people know everyone saying racist shit is mentally ill? And struggling doesn’t get you a free pass to be an awful person that hurts others.
@@rubyjane9119 yeah, maybe there's a way of empathizing without just giving them a free pass. Get people to own up and recognize their mistakes and ask them to try and improve them while still being considerate about their mental illness
@@neveerland We should start hashtags asking people to take a break and receive help. Heck, I wouldn’t mind if tough love became a normal thing in our culture again.
@@joshb8976 don’t feel like this is very helpful. people with depression can’t just “go do something” that will magically make them not depressed not everyone lives in a big city where there are things to do, and if they said they have no friends (which I can 1000% relate to) there’s nobody to go do anything with. So all you’re telling them to do, is go walk around and do nothing instead of sitting around and doing nothing. Not really too helpful.
@@joshb8976 that’s exactly what wards do. You’ll maybe get an hour of outside time a day if they are one of the good ones but for the most part it’s food time, maybe tv time then back to your room. For days or weeks or even months on end. Just nothing.
that's why i don't watch him and i'll never watch anthony padilla's videos on different mental health issues when he hasn't experienced them. something about the puppy dog look in the thumbnail on a long video that he'll make a ton of money from is weird to me when he isn't a mental health professional.
@@MinuteMirror but from what I know about Anthony's videos is that he just interviews the people with mental illnesses. The people that are the topic of the video mostly take the reigns from what I've seen; so I'm wondering what drives you away from his videos? (I'm genuinely curious btw)
Effy Stonem cut herself and suddenly it was glamorous to be "mental". I love Skins and similar shows, but holy hell, it for sure glamourized eating disorders and mental issues in general. You know... As long as you looked good doing it.
All I knew about it before was the popular girls at school would be mean to someone and then would laugh it off and say "im so bipolar" and now that I've been diagnosed with it and struggle through my days, I cannot even consider the idea that bipolarism would make you a popular kid at school. To me I just feel ashamed and embarrassed when it flares up or affects those around me. Its not laughable. Its stressful
“...it takes a therapist to explain to the audience what’s going on” This statement really reaffirms the thought in my head that no matter how much we try to raise awareness for mental health, not everybody will get it and that’s okay. There’s a REASON as to why mental health professionals take years and have a bar exam in order to practice in that field, because it’s a complex concept. Therapists and mental health professionals are there in order to help us decode the thoughts we cant understand, thats their job and thats what theyve been studying for for years. We cant expect people to understand that even if we do try to educate them through awareness, because at its’ core, we still need a professional to help us. Another thing to point out is that social media isn’t really to blame here, but rather mental illness is really just hard to understand and thats WHY there are mental health professionals. I think one of the core problems that i dont think was given as much attention is the fact that the reason why we think everybody should be understanding somebody else’s mental health is the fact that we still water down how serious and how complex mental illnesses really are. Although i do not condone calling anyone crazy, Ethan’s team calling Trisha crazy is understandable to a point because of the fact that they probably dont know the symptoms and defense mechanisms of someone with DID like Trisha would have, they just thought she was just being her bimbo character. Bottom line is, mental health professionals should be given more credit for their work and the effort they put into understanding people with mental health issues and society through social media has watered down the complexity of mental illness.
I think she struggles so badly with her BPD which was diagnosed and it can be very difficult to manage both for the person and their friends/family. However I am 48 was diagnosed myself with BPD and I was never as extreme as TP though bad enough- it got to the point I knew I had to do something went through psychotherapy and after 2 years and in a relationship with a lovely person no symptoms of BPD for years so I do feel there is a lot you can do to help - hope that made sense!
@SomethingReallyStrange if they are faking mental illnesses to seek attention, then wouldnt it be responsible to tell the person what they are doing? I mean which would be better? -ignoring the person -confronting the person -entertaining the person Its not so "black and white" but also, it seems that the first step is realizing your problem before you yourself can address it. Maybe calling her an attention seeker and walking away is exactly what these people are supposed to be doing. She needs help. Which im sure youre talking about medical professionals, not just her friends or strangers.
@@Alyzzardo shes not faking her illnesses for attention. she does outrageous or annoying things for attention. (like getting involved in drama that doesn’t concern her etc) those things should be called out duh but the criticism should also come from a place of empathy
Right?! She obviously disassociated and started saying the most hurtful things left and right because her brain was on panic mode. It was more sad and depressing than enraging this time. Like, that woman seriously needs help and I feel like her job doesn't make it any easier.
i always hated her, it's not again lol. she's awful, even when she's not having an "episode". and I think she uses it as an excuse honestly. anytime she says something wrong it's oh i blacked out, oh i was on drugs, and those excuses have always worked for her. calling a man's wife a cunt in his own home is abhorrent, I'm not going to give her a pass on that bc she has bpd
@@loiteringspy8063 I know you can’t give her a pass for using BPD, but what you don’t understand it’s that not genuinely Trisha. Those are words thrown out in a state of panic and a real uncontrolled episode. There’s a real soft and sensitive nerve (or idea) that got strung and she used distortion and aggression to band-aid it. I think by the end of the episode Ethan was able to evaluate what happened and what needs to happen.
@@FlyingSQUIRRILLLS okay so if someone w bdp kills someone that's not genuinely them? no. it is. she has bpd, it is part of her and the things she says while having a bdp episode is still her. you can't separate her from her mental illness. that's like saying someone who's depressed and kills themselves didn't really kill themselves, bc if it weren't for the depression they wouldn't have done it. the reason for her actions don't make them okay.
lol i saw soooo many comments saying "mental health problems are not an excuse for saying terrible things" 🙄 even Ethan acknowledged she had become upset and that was why her demeanour changed
The important thing to remember about mental health is that mental illness is not an excuse for awful behavior. It’s an explanation. Trisha truly hurt Ethan and she said some unforgivable things to Hila. She showed such an utter lack of basic respect for them that can’t be ignored. People forget that it’s ok to say “wow I feel sorry for her and I hope she is doing well AND she said some awful shit and Ethan shouldn’t take her back”. They aren’t mutually exclusive. When you’ve been hurt by someone with mental illness, you can’t roll over and let them keep doing it- because then YOU’RE suffering as well. I learned that the hard way. My mentally ill friend made me mentally unwell to be around them.
I can relate to one of Trisha’s diagnosis and I understand the other one, and I must say it takes to be willingly trying to understand other people’s emotions when you are BPD. You need to learn to understand how other people is feeling. I’m not sure they’re clever enough.
@@awkwardnerd. I mean they are getting professional help. I'll let you in on a little secret: mental health professionals dont want to treat people with personality disorders So it's real fucking hard to get any type of "professional help". Dbt, what they are already doing, is the only thing there is
THANK YOU. I say this all the time to people who bring up mental illness when discussing someone's actions. Mental health is NEVER an excuse, it's an explanation as to WHY they behave the way they do.
As an average person with mental health issues I have to say that even if people do perceive celebrities mental health issues differently, they don't deal much better with the average person having them too. A lot of empty advice and asking you to force positivity to get out of the situation. Hell, once people used actual movie references as how to overcome this
@@cristiadu You've hit the nail right on the head, people don't deal with mental health issues in average people very well either, especially with the empty advice, and don't even get me started on the forced positivity (being positive all the time is unrealistic).
She just had a complete meltdown in the lastest episode and people are already hating on her despite having witnessed the same event before without proper context. Now that they have the context, they still choose to be ignorant and hateful 🤦♀️
@ilomilo- it's like they don't want to make things better. They want the drama, to hate on other people, conflict between others so they can enjoy it like a reality tv show. Only problem is that in this case, actual people are getting affected. I literally have zero hope for the internet now. It's gonna take atleast a thousand years before we get anywhere near something that we can call better.
Its the trendy thing to do. Trisha can say a thing EVERYONE was saying. But at soon as she says it people grill her on tiktok or in youtube. Its dumb af.
No one is being ignorant. What Trisha did was very disrespectful and she was in the wrong in my opinion. Just because she has a mental illness and had a meltdown doesn’t excuse the actions or the word she said during them.
It's always been that way. Look at Hamlet or portrait of an artist as a young man. Aldous Huxley this bitch, but great art feeds off inequity instability and grief. When the price would be too high for anything. Like I frequently wish I were dumber and I don't mean that in an edgy way. Because if a coping mechanism is not working it becomes despised. And it's really hard to want to take credit for being empathetic thoughtful or artistic when it failed
Bojack Horseman is one piece of media I never get sick of. And the accountability that mostly happens (like Diane keeping Bojack in-check on his bad actions and the repercussions of it) helps me keep myself in check as well.
People don't have a clear picture of mental health because.. there just isn't one. Mental disorders are so complex and multifaceted that even professionals don't fully understand it yet. I do think that more varied representation can help, though. And Trisha may just be one of the representatives bringing more awareness this way.
Oh my God, as a person who had severe mental health issues, as a teenager, and am now in my mid-30's, I wish there was someone who made such a compassionate video like this video! I know that people shouldn't excuse my psychotic breaks and bad behavior, but SOME sympathy is needed if our society wants to progress!
Sometimes I wonder if my episodes would be as severe if mentally ill people weren’t forced to live/perform for the healthy world. I don’t excuse my bad behavior when I am sick, and I know that my illness allows me empathy and love for people who are disregarded as “too much”
@@phishlipsable , I used to be 'too much' too, LMAO! And of course, I heard from some therapists that life circumstances can increase psychosis, so performing for the 'healthy world' can affect one's mental health!
I agree. Everyone else portrays a perfect life until they need to use mental health to get out of a situation. Trisha gets hate because she’s so real; we see the ugly side of her too. Personally that’s why I like her, she doesn’t pretend like literally everyone else online.
In the most recent podcast, with ethan, she talks about being held at gunpoint, being raped, etc. She is a survivor. Going through those things changes you, and you see the world differently after those experiences. You become anger, hurt, sad, etc. People really should show her more compassion
@@sparklesparkle4851 I was shocked watching the “identify as a chicken nugget” video by how much everyone doesn’t realize she was not in her right mind whether it was drugs or a manic episode, you can see vacancy in her eyes
also reminds me of etika, how when he was obviously going through something, people simply made fun of him and spammed clown emojis at him edit: just got to that part :(
He's one of the many victims of this warped vision of "aesthetic mental illnesses". They do not take it seriously since it's nothing more than a character trait to them. When in reality it is much more nuance and manifests in many different forms. Unfortunately it didn't end well for him… gone way too soon… Rest in peace Etika…
There is also a very lousy assumption that blacks don't get mental illness as we're "not smart enough" which has not yet been expunged from enough actual in-use textbooks. As a society we like our mental illness when it's maniacally doing complex equations in movies starring Russell Crowe in a suit.
I wrote a fictional novel about my own struggles with my mental health, and I really wanted to write out a happy ending because who would read a story without one. As I continued to write it, I came to the realization that it's not realistic to expect an ending that says "and they lived happily ever after" from a story about someone going through depression. I wondered why I thought it needed to tie up all the loose ends when it's not even that sort of story. This video just explained to me why I ultimately went to finish my novel without the happy ending stuff. I go through it every day even after the novel, and I wanted to depict that.
What I like about H3 is that even though he often gets things wrong, he is humble enough to listen to the other side and is flexible with his views. I saw the conversation he had with trisha about the instagram reality video, and he listened to her express herself about how that hurt her, and showed empathy and growth. He doesn't always get it right but he tries to improve. And he really adores and respects his wife
I agree! I think interacting & developing a friendship with Trisha has spawned genuine growth in Ethan. The later episodes of Freenimies have revealed a more supportive, sensitive & understanding side of Ethan. He's able to call out Trisha out on her bs but continues the conversation in a way where a disagreement doesn't escalate to the point feelings are deeply hurt. His growth also translates to his latest podcast with Contrapoints, which covered vulnerable personal topics in a respectful & informative tone. He's definitely had his share of controversies & people have levied fair/good faith criticism towards him, which I am not denying. However, in terms of this aspect of his character, he is clearly growing & values both improvement and his friendship with Trisha
I love Ethan. He is so mature when these things happen and he tries to understand Trisha. - like the episode yesterday when Trisha storms out. He’s trying to understand her and why she acted like that.
Ethan is handling Trisha so well! I think if a competent psychiatrist gave him more tools, he'd be doing better of course. But he's willing to better himself and adapt to Trisha's needs, but more importantly, is confident about his own value and boundaries. I hope she keeps being friends with him for her own sake because he seems to help her become better. I didn't watch her before the show because I can't stand her personality on her own (not saying she's a bad person, there's plenty of people I can't stand) But in the 13 episodes they make, she seems to be getting better at being more careful of the way she acts, what she says as well as having more self-respect.
What I like about frenemies and Trisha is that it is a real non romanticized portrayal of mental illness. It’s really clear to me Trisha is suffering from BPD and having episodes on the podcasts. Honestly she’s kind of putting herself in a position where she’s bound to have an episode because like she said Ethan pushes her buttons since that’s what the shows about and she inevitably breaks down/lashes out/has an episode.
It took me a long time to understand what glorifying and romanticizing mental health means, and that it is actually happening. When people used to say mental illness is being romanticized, I said I didn't think so because people weren't trying to make it look good - that people talked about it and made sure people knew that it's scary and hard. But then I finally realized that mental health, and really any kind of trauma or hard time in general, is romanticized. I thought about it after I got into a car accident, and I thought about how movies make car accidents seem. They make it seem so dramatic, lights are flashing, sirens are blaring, and a sad dramatic song plays in the distance as the main character looks "aesthetically bloody", and yes, it's showing you what happened, and it's showing you the harsh truths of a car accident, but in a beautifully crafted way. Mental illness is the same, they make it seem so cut and dry, so dramatic, so "beautifully sad", and it's not beautiful, it's just sad. People want to find meaning in everything, but mental illness doesn't need a deeper meaning, it just needs a cure, and for it to be understood. Hopefully that will happen soon. Also, sorry for the long paragraph, hopefully it wasn't too confusing and I got my point across.
this is such a great video. whenever trish gets canceled over her scandals I’ve never paid them much mind bc its been obvious to me for forever that she has several mental health issues. of course she deserves criticism, but I have never gone out of my way to bring attention to her or shame her bc its just so clear, and its upsetting that others havent had that same realization
Maybe the reason we love movies and especially stories so much is that they do come to an end in a predictable and meaningful way. Unlike life, movies have a clear beginning and end and are used for education or entertainment. Life isn’t really that. Life is experiencing things without really knowing what will happen next or in the far future. But movies and stories give us that opportunity to have a conclusive happily ever after; because it will never happen to us ourselves.
I think the problem with Trisha is she has put herself so deep in the roll of "the troll" that when she actually is going through a breakdown people don't take her seriously. I've never really liked Trisha personally, just not my cup of tea, but I like frenemies because there is alot of insight.
The fear that others don't believe I have anxiety and having really bad bouts of self-doubt when I believe I'm faking it has heightened my anxiety. The worst part is that I think I got my mental illness from my interactions with someone who was a tumblr 'aesthetic depression' teen, so even less people believe me.
I think another issue is the whole "self-diagnosis" wave that happened in recent years. I have major depression with melancholic features, I got diagnosed at 13 and have continuously been getting treatment, I am now 19. The amount of people who have told me that they "know that they have depression" and refuse to get help/diagnosed is crazy. I didn't even realize how I felt was abnormal until my mom made me go to the doctor and I got diagnosed, so it is crazy to me that now people like to proclaim that they have it just because they took some quiz online.
@@yikes6532 at the same time, people ragging on self-diagnosis has made my mental health worse because I didn't have access to professional help back when I was at my worse and I know not everyone does. The only way I could convince teachers/my parents that I had a serious issue is to search up symptoms online and give them a word for it so they could take me to the doctors. Despite getting help since then, I still sometimes think I'm faking it even when I'm talking to my therapist because I did start from a point of self-diagnosis. Edit: I don't disagree with you about the glorification of mental illnesses via online quizzes. Just trying to provide another perspective.
@@sriracha_sauce There is nothing wrong with looking up symptoms to get an idea of what might be going on, especially when it is difficult to access professional care. Saying “I have been experiencing symptoms that align with this condition, and I believe that I need to see a doctor for these symptoms” is very different than someone saying “I looked up my symptoms online and took a quiz so now I am going to claim that I have this condition without ever consulting a provider”. Edit: I think “self-diagnosis” is a term people use a bit differently sometimes but, in all, getting a clinical diagnosis is a very important step for any medical problem.
People have a really mild view of anxiety. I don't think people understand the difference between having an anxiety disorder, and being anxious sometimes.
What Fousey said at the end was so on point. I've been depressed for 7 years and everything about what I've been through let me know that I'll have to deal with this until I die. I can't describe my rage when people say "oh, it will always get better just hold on!" Like, no. The truth is that some people are just born to die. Not everyone makes it out, no matter how long they choose to wait. The truth is when I hear stories about people killing themselves, I don't fucking know whether or not that will be me next. My whole life I've been looking for that watershed moment when I hit rock bottom and get the divine spark you see all these actors get that motivates them to climb to the very top. It's just luck whether you rise up, stay there, or descend further. It also sucks that when I see someone in pain, even though I've endured so much, I can't offer help that doesn't rely on tired platitudes or, as you stated in the video, misconceptions about the experience.
Thankx that hit me like a bus I feel the same sometimes but today I don’t as much so I just wanna say hang in there lol, ok I’ll stop but for real those moments that things get easier are worth it and the rest is luck is very hard to even remember what’s like to feel good happy or safe but you did feel those things before and you can feel it again
There is no watershed Hollywood moment, no divine spark - it’s a heavy avalanche of 100 billion grains of sand, and it’s already started. it just depends on if your life will end naturally before the avalanche takes it. don’t mean to be so depressing, but at least you can stop searching for your watershed moment and live the moments you have where you have the control to do so to the fullest, until you run out of moments or stop taking them yourself. one day you’ll either be too overrun eventually, or you’ll emerge from the sand relatively unharmed in comparison - my hope is for the latter, I say, as I slowly drown in the sand. hope you’re able to stay strong.
people looooove the “acceptance” of mental health until it doesn’t fit their own perspective and romanticization of illnesses like depression (which i experience myself). depression is “wow uwu so strong girl boss 🥺🕊❤️” when people are crying at 3 am, but when people can’t get out of bed to brush their teeth and their teeth rot it’s like ew... wtf is wrong with you
More people are aware of mental health issues but that doesn’t make them accepting or understanding of mental health. Nor does it mean they have a full or accurate understanding of said illnesses.
I think you should definitely look at the most recent frenemies podcast, where Trisha storms out the third time. She got really emotional and I think deserves some analysis as well, because from what I'm seeing in the comments people are saying things like 'all my respect from trisha is gone' and 'shes so toxic' and so on. Its literally the same problem all over again.
I agree, I was shocked over fan reaction to that episode. I thought it was immediately recognize-able that she was going into one of her episodes and that the insults she was saying should be taken with a grain of salt. I do agree with AB & Ian that any further conversation about the topic should be taken off air.
It makes me sad because... they really seemed like Frenemies? Because sometimes they seemed very good friends, and I thought they were trying to work more and more on Trish's problems and Ethan's perception on her. Even though, I wasn't listening to their podcast, I saw videos of them being very good friends.
I’m honestly incredibly worried about Trisha and how it feels like she isn’t being given the help she needs. I think we need to stop sensationalizing her actions and start actually being concerned for her
i agree that trisha isn't getting the help they need and i really hope they do, but i would take a step back with expecting people to be concerned for them just because mental health aside, trisha has said and done alot of incredibly offensive things
@@nathalie3601 oh yeah when I made this initial comment it was well before even some of the stuff they’ve done recently. It’s, in my mind, way too late for them to ever redeem themself and they clearly don’t have an interest in actually working on themself the way someone with BPD should. Theh need to just be ignored by folks at this point because as long as they get attention I doubt they will stop
The problem with Trisha is that no one knows what is real and ‘trolling’. I’ve been on this platform for 10 years or something, and she has always had this vibe with her. Never seen the poscast, I find them boring.
This video is really interesting. I remember when they brought Dr. Drew on and Trisha tearfully explained that she can’t control what she does I felt a wave of guilt come over me. Like people have said, trishas actions can’t be excused but to realize we have been attacking her when she has been suffering is really saddening, it’s caused a lot of self reflection for me
As someone with ADHD, the way I perceive things and take things is so different than that of someone without it. But even after knowing my brain works in a way that isnt exactly "normal", I still feel normal. I've had this my whole life. I dont understand what it's like to think any other way. And everytime I'm told that the way I think is "quirky" and that I'm "relatable", I end up hating myself for having a mental condition I cant exactly get rid of. Thoughts..?
I agree with those feelings. I'm heavily depressed, and to me this is a normal day. Nothing is off to me, it's a regular Thursday, but to others I'm relatable, different, quirky, interesting, depricating.
I agree about feeling normal in a lot of my unhealthy and or neurodivergent behaviors. It’s hard to know where my disability and my personality end and begin. They just kind of feel like the same thing. I’m just now realizing a lot of the way I live is bc of my ADHD and trying to fix bad habits but it’s hard when it feels like going against my nature.
I'm unsure to what extent i perceive things differently due to my autism/ADHD. because i don't have access to other people's minds (and factors other than autism/adhd probably influence how i think). Because i assume i'm "normal" i may under-estimate how differently i think to other people because of this (I've only recently realized that other people may react differently in the same situation because my sensory sensitivity means i probably perceive it differently). I wish it was easier to figure out how differently we really thought from others!
Trying to explain my adhd symptoms tends to go one of two ways. Either they try to relate to them too much in a sympathetic way 'oh that's okay, everyone does that' and end up minimising things that are genuinely debilitating to me. Or, they actually do relate too much, and you have that awkward moment of 'If I tell this person that I think they might also have adhd, will they react negatively?'
if it makes you feel better, i had no clue at all he had bipolar i just saw a bunch of kanye for president memes with no clue or context of how it came about. for all i know it could have been some lighthearted joke he'd made in response to something that people then went with because every election needs a meme candidate. so just try to remember that if someone doesnt know you, their mockery isnt of you, but of a superficial image they have of you, which still sucks, but it says nothing meaningful about who you are as a person
I’m happy you be categorized how people express their mental health on tumblr. (Trigger warning) being someone who used to self harm always thought tumblr to be harmful because it romanticized depression. Someone told me to check out tumblr to “not feel alone.” I remember seeing a post on the lines of “my scars tell a story” and being bothered by the response of OMG SAME ~emoji, emoji, emoji~. I felt like it was encouraging self harm. It’s not fun explaining scars to every new person you meet.
To address the beginning City folk is also comprised of immigrants who lived in practically camping conditions in the places they originally came from.
Yeah but they wouldn’t go camping the article is about yuppies who who saw camping on social media and tried it not realizing the “difficulty” of living in a bit less comfort
I love to camp and it always weirds me out when people say they don't.l ol My mom spent a lot of time living in cars as a child. She sees no point in doing that on purpose, so it makes sense.
I have friends who grew up in vans and they adore camping to this day. I mean I get that it could get boring if you got nothing to do but in the form of a trip it's great!
I started recognizing depression thanks to Tumblr. Years later, talking about it in therapy I have learned that the depression community on Tumblr has been the way we have all dealt colectively with the feelings we have inside ourselves and are afraid to share with the world. It has been our way for coping, but also a way to encourage feeling like this instead of healing. If we had more empathy and love in general as a society, maybe these feelings wouldn't be seen as something to hide, something cool, something to be praised for, something you feel outcasted for. Still learning from this, but what I'm sure of is the impact this has on us, on how we see the world, and how we grow up thinking NOBODY else feels the way we do. When in reality, there is so much bravery from accepting that you don't feel right.
I literally talked about this today. It really upsets me that people stay cancelling Trisha while posting about mental health awareness. Mental Health has become so glamourized through media that people forget that suffering through mental health isn't pretty or a quirky part of their personality. Like people are literally seeing Trisha exhibiting textbook behaviour/characteristics that people stay posting on their Instagram and Twitter as a means of saying 'signs someone is suffering with mental health' but then want to turn around and call her crazy? Her signs couldn't be more clear, how does that even make sense?
@@Sinchronicities everyone has acknowledged her mental health. She has the resources to care for her physical and mental health yet chooses not too. If you refuse to put in the work to attempt to manage your bpd and you begin abusing others, you are at fault. Reading dbt books isn't work, therapy, dietary chnages, fitness etc. She doesn't do therapy for the same reason she gets plastic surgery instead of seeing a therapist and going to the gym... If a man beat his wife because he was spiraling it doesn't negate the fact that he abused his wife. Just because he has mental health issues doesn't mean he is the victim.
This actually puts my thoughts into words... I unfortunately have anxiety, however I hate using it as an excuse and ultimately, I wish I didn't have it. So it really frustrates me when people around me keep using anxiety as an excuse. At first I'm understanding, because I can relate to the feeling. But after a while sometimes it seems like they've just accepted anxiety as a permanent attribute of their personality and no matter how much encouragement and support I give them they just don't want to grow. It actually makes me more insecure about myself... Am I being a bad friend? Am I being too pushy? Are they doing this cause they don't like me? How should I change? The most annoying part is that I have anxiety and when they're like "oh man I'm not sure, I get real anxious about these things..." I'm like, "b*** me too!! But I ain't finna sit here all my life, I want to get out of my bubble." Having anxiety is not a restriction, it's an obstacle that you can overcome and I think we need to advocate that more. Also if you have anxiety and someone is trying to help you, don't push them away, you're only going to spread your anxiety.
but srsly...the internet beautifying mental health is dangerous - for people's mental health. im used to jokes and banter about mental health, and i felt backed into a corner where it was not okay to be okay. where celebrating happiness and positivity was not okay and instantly brushed aside with "well im not okay lol". now, i acc do self harm. i do have an eating disorder. i go to counseling. but i hate where i am, i hate ppl making this the normality and i hate the way my feelings feel unappreciated and unwelcome. phew.
Emily Law the way people from all walks of life invalidate experiences and emotions in our society is truly a disease and some of the worst offenders are within the new age movement. Toxic positivity abounds there. I get into arguments about this all the time but the problem is they think they’re actually doing you a favour by telling you to get over it.
It really hurts to be called crazy when you’re just reacting how your overwhelming thoughts are effecting you. I will always be called crazy by people who don’t struggle with mental health and all I can do is go to therapy and talk about it.
TW: depression, eating disorders When I was a teen I was obsessed with Tumblr, I was very depressed so it, how you said, made me feel understood. I ended up in a rabbit hole at one point that lead me into a pro ana and Mia blog. It called me disgusting in every single way and told me how I should measure the calories of my food and what not. It's awful it was allowed to be there in a website so full of teens
As someone who also suffers from BPD I really relate to Trish sometimes seeing her emotional responses so it's nice to finally see some exposure & understanding. It can be so hard to live with.
It was heartbreaking to watch Trisha during the latest episode. You could see the immediate regret as she kept pushing the line further and further. ..she just could stop. The pain on her face. So sad.
I, personally, have a mental disorder and sometimes I sit back and realize how many people left when shit hit the fan. When I tried to “off” myself (several times) my family cared. But funny enough they actually STOPPED calling me. They STOPPED checking on me. I don’t have any friends but I don’t think I can forgive them for abandoning me. I will be in a better space living somewhere far away from them. It hurts knowing that before I succumbed to my illnesses they loved me. It’s not even like I hurt them and did something unforgivable, considering only my MOTHER is the one who cares and made sacrifices and didn’t stop loving me. We have our moments but I will never not be thankful for that woman.
One of the best "artistic" descriptions of depression I ever read was by Sylvia Plath, but not her poetry. Her semi-autobiographical novel, The Bell Jar, depicted the main character's mental deterioration right at what should have been her big chance to make a career and a name for herself. At one point she describes her depression as living trapped inside a bell jar; the world can see her, and she can see out, but she is permanently separated and apart from what the lives she sees "normal" people living. When her recovery eventually progresses to the point that she is capable of living on her own, the bell jar hasn't disappeared. At the end of the book, she says the bell jar has been lifted, but it still hangs above her. The ending is truly hopeful in tone, but it doesn't perpetuate the myth that you can be totally and 100% "cured" of your depression. The bell jar could descend again in the future, but for now she's living in the present.
As someone who has pretty severe mental illness I find it so important to talk about this stuff, the way depression affects literally every single aspect of my life is really fucking hard, I have body aches, I can’t retain information well, I literally just don’t feel like Im here sometimes, I struggled so much in school because I just could not remember anything Bc my brain was full of really really bad stuff, I constantly think about my family and always want to call my grandpa but I just can’t bring myself to do it and it doesn’t make sense mental illness just sometimes doesn’t make any sense at all and you just have to work on it and adapt to it, you have to learn how to live with it and respect that it’s a part of you, you never get out of being mentally ill but you do make it easier, you work on yourself you address your triggers, you have people around you who will understand and be able to support you, you recognize your faults and try to fix them, I went from being a very toxic girlfriend from saying “you’re the only reason I’m alive” “I need you so badly” “if it’s wasn’t for you I’d be dead” and even tho those statements are true it’s not okay to say that stuff constantly to your significant other, I was 14 and didn’t understand how damaging that can be and now when I’m experiencing difficult times I can see and accept what I’m doing is wrong or I know how to ask for help in a safe way, at least most of the time, certainly not all the time, I’m only 17 and I’ve struggled with this all my life, this year has been the healthiest safest happiest year of my entire life, I’ve never felt safer or happier but I’m currently going through so far a two week depressive episode, I didn’t shower since thanksgiving to yesterday, I haven’t done any school work for weeks and I’m trying to get out of this slump by working on art and coloring, getting dressed up and allowing myself to just sleep, it’s hard and It sets me back but I know I can get through this and do better, it’s just fucking hard but sometimes you just have to ride it out and try to take care of yourself in any way you can, you have to accept that sometimes your body abd brain might just need to stop for a bit, in this mindset, when I’m deep into this mess of my brain I celebrate everything I can do, like drinking water, making myself tea, eating, getting out of bed to do something as simple as use the bathroom, that’s something that needs to be appreciated abd celebrated sometimes when shit gets hard and dark, thank you for your video, there’s so many aspects to mental illness, it affects people’s lives in so many ways abd everything is different for everyone, thank you for bringing this to light and to anyone dealing w/ this, I’m glad you’re alive today, thank you for getting through whatever you had to, please remember no matter who you are someone or something somewhere in this world loves and cares for you, keep going💜
Definitely a big thing to take away with this is. It explains what happens but doesn’t excuse it. As a person who has dealt with mental disorders all my life it shouldn’t be excused for what Trisha has done. She has done very awful things for other communities and this video does a good job of explaining why she may be doing this. But I still can’t get over all the awful things she has done and never addresses or takes accountability for, such as the trouble she has caused for the DID or LGBT+ communities along with others.
YES! THIS RIGHT HERE! We should work towards lifting the stigma around mental health, but we also should coddle the ones who are going around hurting others, either.
(This is just my own personal opinion. I’m not claiming to be “right” just wanted to share my 2 cents on this topic.) I think people forget that serious mental illnesses are disabilities. It’s not a fad or a cool trendy label. You hear too many stories of people who have mild mental illness doing great things in spite of their mental illness. Society loves the mild cases because they can pat them on the back, tell them how brave they are, and how proud they are of them for being functional and productive members of society. But when a person has more severe and impairing mental illness they are hated by society and are deemed stupid, lazy, unproductive, and worthless members of society. People with more severe mental illnesses get the stigma and hatred that mildly mentally ill people don’t get. It’s no wonder that suicide rates among people with severe mental illness is so high. I wish there was more representation for people who suffer with more debilitating mental illnesses. Their stories don’t get told as much. And severe mental illnesses need to be regarded as disabilities not as moral failings. No one should tell someone with Down Syndrome or Autism that they are lazy, unproductive, and worthless. It should be the same for people with severe mental illnesses like Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, etc. They didn’t choose to be impaired and most people with severe mental illnesses wish they were normal/Neurotypical. Because it sucks to be mentally ill and in a group where everyone hates you.
I wish I could go back to the days where I only had depression and anxiety. Last year my disgnoses were updated forthefirst time in 5 years. Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, Panic Disorder with agoraphobia, major depression, Generalized Anxiety disorder, and intermittent psychotic episodes most likely due to all of the above happening together. The psychotic episodes are 100% debilitating and the panic disorder makes me pass out when it comes on (which it loves to do when I'm driving) and has landed me in the ER. No employer has ever given me any compassion, my college kicked me out, and even my own family thinks I'm just making it up. All my friends ghosted me when my really bad episodes started happening more frequently. It's so isolating. If I didn't have my DBT group, therapist, and husband to keep me hopeful, I wouldn't be here.
Ngl, watching Frenemies really helped checked me on the prejudice i didnt know i had against people suffering from mental health issues. When people "act out" due to their mental health problems, everyone's first reaction is to instantly retaliate against them instead of trying to understand them and their behavior. And this doesn't just go for people who struggle with mental health (although they do receive the worse end of it). The world would be a much better place if we all tried to understand one another.
Is there going to be a follow up video now that the Frenemies podcast has ended? Perhaps taking a deep dive into how trisha responded and how the fan culture flipped on her?
she was clearly set up by Ethan to get out of control again by him bringing up a comment Hila made about Trisha and then before Trisha said anything negative or bad and did not mention the family nor parenting just aggressively tells Trisha to stop talking about Hila, that was so fucking weird. Clearly to make her go off again because it`s great monitizable content to him. He completely exploits her mental state.
@@wacky2263 ever heard of people exploiting people/youtubers with mental illness? If you are an h3 fan and know what shit keemstar pulled, you know how badly it can end..
Aaaa Trisha just mentioned this video in the Frienemies podcast 🔥🔥🔥
And what did she Say about it?
@@ocytocine96 In the podcast Ethan was talking about how Frienemies was getting criticism about being problematic and that there are negative videos/articles made about the show, but Trisha said it's not all hate - she said she saw a positive video about the podcast made by Psych IRL, which is this vid!
@@augustina3555 ok thanks
Psych IRL should be on the H3 podcast 🙂
@@bootje99 yes!!
dril tweeted “everyone less mentally ill than me is privileged, everyone more mentally ill than me is toxic, everyone equally mentally ill to me is cool” and that basically explains how the internet operates
dril is the most profound philosopher of internet culture we have now.
couldn't have said it better myself
This is exactly how I've been treated all life by nuerotypical people. They use this as an excuse to treat people mentally worse than them as shit on every level. It's disgusting when those same people say they're "an advocate for mental health". I wish they could witness my mental breakdowns, panic attacks, psychotic episodes, and say that to my face....
Wow fucking applause to that 👏🏼
yeppp
Someone said somewhere that mental health hasn’t been destigmatized, but commercialized :/
Wow this is a really good way to put it
I've been feeling this way for a while now. Totally agree.
For someone living it day to day, no, where is all this money? Trust me the Stigma is VERY much there
Oh yeah, self care is a business now
this is sad.
A big issue I have with the talk about mental health is how people have started using words like triggered, god complex, manic, etc, as buzzwords. Triggered does not mean upset. God complex does not mean you’re simply over confident. No one calls anyone out on it either. ‘Mental breakdowns’ is also a buzzword now too.
Omg THANK YOU. People pick up words they see on social media and use them incorrectly to the point where it’s dangerous. People will celebrate creators who make “mental breakdown” videos and it’s just them talking about how something sad happened and they’ve been crying for a while but when people actually witness public psychotic breaks they demonise them and call them crazy. Just look at the comments under Amanda Bynes’ posts. She’s not even having any obvious current issues, and she’s not posting anything that is genuinely worrying but people will still comment “this is so scary” “this is disturbing” “someone needs to help her” like?????
Psychotic too
@@vyecyr2189 you'd like mila Tequilas video 😁. Not being sarcastic. Seriously, an awesome video
trauma, gasligthing, narcissist, panic attack as well
@@fabpanda5961 good call, I was going to add in gaslighting & psychopath. According to commenters on Reddit, any time anyone disagrees and argues with someone in a video, they're gaslighting them haha
I have found that the mainstreaming of ‘acceptance’ of mental illness doesn’t extend to much more than a bit of mild depression and anxiety. Once you get in to things like self injury, paranoia, delusions, alienating yourself from other with bizarre behaviour, mania, hearing voices etc, people just don’t want to deal with it and their empathy disappears pretty quickly.
Totally true
Ain’t THAT the truth
This is so true. But also, many people aren’t trained to properly deal with the harmful sides of mental illness. Not everyone is capable of being a crutch
@@oliviayoot4135 that’s true and I don’t think people are denying that, what they *are* saying is that people often completely dismiss and/or outcast people struggling with more complex mental health disorders while at the same time preaching acceptance and awareness for “mental health problems”. Nobody is asking everyone to be at their beck and call or act as mental health nurses, just to simply not ostracise us from friendship groups, families or communities for struggling with these illnesses.
@@oliviayoot4135 we don’t want people to be crutches for us. We want people to stop acting like they care about us unconditionally when they simply don’t. It’s okay not to support everyone with a mental illness or to not be able to tolerate certain mental illnesses, just don’t act like you do and lie about it all the time. I’ve met way too many people who act like mental health advocates who have publicly humiliated and shamed me for having mental illnesses. It’s extremely disrespectful and disheartening
It seems like more people are aware of mental health issues in theory, but when they are actually seeing someone go through a rough period, they can’t identify what’s actually going on.
the problem is. people think mental health illness is ALWAYS manageable because thats what influencers always tell them it is. Influencers use their very normal not at all disorders fluctuations in emotions as an excuse to not work hard... as a result, people think being mentally ill means being perfectly functional all the time, being fully aware of your actions all the time and being perfectly reasonable and capable of rational thought and rational reactions all the time but just with boughts of sadness here and there. people think being depressed, bipolar, having GAD, having BPD etc. just means feeling sad for no reason once in a while and feeling anxious once in a while or in social situations in which its totally normal and reasonable to be axious. So when those people see someone who is actually very unstable, cant control their thoughts and actions, behave very irrationally and are very difficult to deal with, they just think that person is a bad person... Influencers think they are mental health advocates but actually they just created more of a stigma around actual disordered behavior than there was before by creating a false perception of what mental illness actually looks like.
If you don't know what to say, show it with your eyes and body. Give them a hug or a comforting "I'm here for you" squeeze of the shoulder. Answer texts and calls like a normal person and show that a desire for normalcy is there. Grief is scary, but people make it scarier than it really is. From the outside looking in, all you need to be is a stable presence and a comforting smile. It all seems so complicated, but normally wired people can be a comfort without really trying.
Yep. Or people are ‘all for mental health’ until... MeNtaL hEAltH iS NoT aN eXcUsE because WHEN I WAS such and such I DIDN’T... blah blah blah. Like wow that’s great for you! Mental illnesses and mental health is different for everyone. People can find it easier to relate to depression and anxiety because those are also normal human emotions that everyone experiences in their life (without it being clinical depression/anxiety) but then when they see actual chronic clinical depression and everything that comes with it... well no it’s not an excuse to have a messy house that’s just lazy🙄
(That’s the best example I can’t think of rn - my ADD brain hasn’t had its meds yet. It gets worse the more different the mental health disorder like bipolar, personality disorders etc)
Even though it’s is an explanation. And you can still hold someone accountable. You don’t have to excuse their behaviour. People don’t seem to get that and they just throw that line out there and boom all ‘empathy’ they had tried to express before is just... irrelevant.
Truth
They don’t care about mental health there just want to cancel people
27:37 "it will get better" is used so frequently to motivate people to hang in there, but most people assume "better" means you can/will 'overcome' the mental illness when in reality "better" for most of us is just being able to manage our mental issues. They may never fully go away, and better can be temporary, and i really feel like not enough people understand that.
This is really important. It's okay to say "it will get better" but it's important that they understand that better isn't the same a "fixed"
Yes ! Good to see you say that ! When I tell people that 'I got better' they assume that my depression is gone for good, that I'm 'cured' what they don't understand is that even if my suicidal phase was more than 10 years ago, maintaining my mental health at a level where I can function in society requires daily maintenance and constant monitoring, I was depressed for most of my life and so my baseline for 'I'm doing okay' is pretty low and I don't always notice when I get worse. So when I say 'I'm not good right now' and people say 'I thought you weren't depressed anymore' it truly feels like either they don't give a fuck about me, or I'm somehow a whinny bitch.
I hate that mentality so much. As someone who's been through the ringer, thinking I was broken was so counter productive. No you can get better. In fact, if we put you in a perfect world, you would instantly be better.
I used to have suicidal thoughts, like once a month, maybe more. But I managed to find a larger purpose in life, and suddenly ending it all went from an option to completely off the table-- in the same category as, like, stabbing 4 alligators.
Oh my god, your post has so many likes and everyone seems to be agreeing with you. You people are going to be sad the rest of your lives. Please don't think like this
@@nicholasn.2883 As someone who delt with depression for so long it was all they knew, this was thought process was necessary for me to continue pursuing recovery. I'll admit the way I worded the post was not the most clear, so let me be clear now, I was not trying to say you cannot get better, but that recovery is not a linear process and should not be given up on just because you aren't making the progress you think you should, or because you still struggle with the same issues from time to time after getting better.
I'm happy you are doing well and don't have to worry about suicidal ideation. For me personally, I'm very happy, I'm doing the best I ever have tbh and have been stable for a decent amount of time. Despite this I still deal with intrusive thoughts and random bouts of depressive mood that pop up out of nowhere.
Being happy is not a given for me, it is something I had to work for and cultivate skill to maintain. I'm building a life and support system that will help me sustain a better happy future. I had to work hard for happy, and that's OK. I want other people to know that's OK, and feel motivated to continue fighting to be happy to even if it seems like their brain will never let them. it does NOT make us broken.
I should've made that clear in the original post. Thanks for your input!
@@abathtub1411 Ok that's great. Posts from a year ago don't always hold up
"anyone more mentally ill than me is toxic, anyone less mentally ill than me is priviledged, and anyone equally mentally ill as me is cool"
Underrated quote. This perfectly describes mental health “culture”.
A lot of mentally ill people are toxic but the major problem with acknowledging that is how many people equate toxicity with being evil and undeserving of sympathy or forgiveness. It makes it extremely hard for toxic people to acknowledge their own toxic behavior and if they do it can often lead to even more toxic behavior in the form of guilt tripping and other manipulation tactics to force others to forgive them, and many toxic people will readily call out toxic behavior in others while ignoring it in themselves and other people who express their mental health issues similarly.
@V P do you know what "toxic" means? And when you say way worse when no one's watching what does that mean? That their mental health is worse or that they deserve the severe criticism (which would've been a better way to put that than castigated, how do you even know that word you are the first person I have ever seen use it and I read late 1800s translations of ancient greek philosophers for fun)
@KB 86 "what do you mean there is more to the world than the beliefs of my current time? EVERYWHERE EVERYTIME SHOULD CONFORM TO THE STANDARDS OF MY DEMOGRAPHIC NOW!!" -most people in this generation
@V P I mean narcissistic personality disorder is a thing but yeah, not all toxic people have a mental illness, that doesn't mean that toxic mentally ill people aren't still toxic and a problem though
As someone with actual ADHD and anxiety, I want to say, people only like it when you’re the funny one. But when you actually start having complications like low attention span or needing stimulation, that is inconvenient to neurological typical people, that’s when you’re being told “omg just focus is not that hard” that’s how mental conditions work, maybe is not hard for you, but for me it is.
I feel this! At first maybe I’m fun to talk to, until I’m interrupting too much, hard to follow, not listening well enough, too non-sequitor...
Adding: what I’ve described all makes me sound like a total ass but it’s really just what happens if I’m not putting forth my extreme best effort not to act Iike an ass during every conversation I ever have in my life. I try so hard and no one can see that I’m even trying until I mess up
@@ab7974
I can feel this so much.
I loose track of a conversation way too easily, especially if it’s between 3 or more people, I will forget stuff people talk to me about not so long ago, I have to put all efforts into focusing on something or have at least some level of stimulation, because there’s always the “too much stimulation” and “not enough stimulation”
It happens to me that when I’m in class and everything is so silent, I get an anxiety attack, and I start squirming in my seat and bouncing my leg
Same with my autism
@@alcerdemon9768 my son is struggling with this during remote learning and I already know he's gonna have to bounce around, we tell him to just get up and move around, it's better that he has the teacher on in the background and gets moving vs. not paying attention because he's trying to control himself. It's been working so far, he has been able to keep up w class, while also releasing the energy he has.
god I remember that era of Tumblr. People were straight sharing black and white photos of themselves self harming with song lyrics in the caption. It was honestly kind of traumatising in a way.
I remember seeing that stuff in middle school.
Yeah my friend’s eating disorder and self harming was emphasized so much by tumblr and IG self harm and “Ana” communities ugh
It was probably really harmful to a lot of vulnerable kids
@@kermitpeterson it definitely was
Its the reason i started cutting
I have CPTSD and I think what annoys me is when I tell someone about my illness they say oh that's fine but whenever a symptom appears they say "your illness isn't an excuse" and offer zero support. It's not an excuse but it is... an illness? I can slowly heal but I can't magic it away for your convenience. Social media has slightly normalised mild anxiety and depression, but not anything else. God forbid a neurodivergent person actually does something neurodivergent.
I have bipolar, and my sister tells me she "supports" me by not "endorsing my lifestyle" if she notices I'm not working because I'm depressed. If I try to reason, she digs for past episodes that prove, in her eyes, that I actually can do stuff normally when depressed. The use of the word "lifestyle" Is what hurts me the most. I know you were just sharing your story, but I felt compelled to share mine, the anger and sadness that comes from this kind of stuff Is difficult to overcome.
It's like how having a cold isn't an excuse to sneeze on someone but sometimes it happens anyway, even if you're trying not to. People fuck up and mental illnesses aren't always going to stay in check even when they're well managed, we have to offer sympathy and understanding to people when they lose control and do something they don't agree with
This comment is underrated.
I think what they don’t understand is that when you might say “I’m feeling depressed or it’s my BPD” you’re not using it to cover your actions with an excuse. What you’re trying to do is give them a sense of insight to why you are behaving a certain way. What another person will lack is understanding the complex issues that are taking place in your mind that tend to control your behaviour.
What they need to understand is that there is a person with a severe case of fragmentation or other complex issues and that does bring a person to narrow down their thinking in catastrophic episodes.
But what they also need or expect from someone with a mental disorder is genuine self evaluation, awareness and a step forward in healing or re-assembling. Genuine work to help a themselves, friendship or family system function healthier.
People with disorders or illness really need to stay kind to themselves and practice mindfulness. Write out thoughts and ideas and put in a new perspective on them every now and then. Really need to take the time to believe we can make changes.
It’s easy for others to see when and how we are ruining our own lives, but it’s surely hard for us to see it or change it ourselves / it’s easy for us to see how someone is ruining their lives but it’s harder for them to see it themselves.
People just need to lend help and perspective. And we need to listen to each other and our own self.
@CrappyOneshots "explanation is not an excuse", that's what I like to tell people when they either believe they're not wrong for having hurt someone because of their mental illness, or they believe I'm attempting to excuse my own behavior when I explain that my mental illness can cause me to lash out and I don't actually mean the things I say when I'm having an episode. Explanations can make it easier to forgive people and feel sympathy for them, but that doesn't mean that you have to forgive them. Forgiveness is earned through changing or managing your behavior to minimise the negative effect you have on others, and even then the forgiveness isn't always going to come from the person you hurt, it might come from the people you meet in future who hear about what you've done, but are in your life enough to know you're better than that now. The person you hurt never has to forgive you and to try and make them through excuses is manipulative and toxic in itself.
yes!!!!!! this reminds me of drama with sweet anita - she's a streamer with a severe case of tourettes and she said the n word as a tick a few times. she received such backlash, people literally said "i know she has tourettes, but she shouldn't have said that".... like do you even know what tourettes is? she literally screams "im a pedo" in subway, i really don't think she enjoys that either.
My god, that's aful. That poor girl.
People only like when your "anxieties have anxieties", there is no patience for ACTUAL mental illness
she was on Anthony Paddila's video about tourettes, I felt so bad about all the things she has had to go trough!
I feel for her because people say she's faking bc she has/had that tic but also say she's faking bc she didn't have it when she first started streaming.
I was dumbfounded to find out her father is black. Part of what happens with tourrettes is if someone says not to say or do something, you're likely to do it.
I feel like a symptom of mental illness that gets pushed aside is intrusive thoughts. I have OCD and for the longest time I was almost scared of myself. I would grab my little brother’s shoulders to stop him from walking too far ahead and randomly think “I could snap his neck right now”, then immediately let go and feel disgusted. I thought I was a terrible person for even letting such a thing cross my mind and it messed with me for quite a while. At this point it’s become easier to deal with since I know I would never act on those impulses, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable telling anyone besides a therapist since it’s hard to understand when you haven’t had the experience.
I think almost everyone has had intrusive thoughts before, call of the void and such, im not sure if knowledge its relatively common could help you deal with them better but regardless I wish you luck in dealing with them if they are causing issues!
I have OCD and suffer from intrusive thoughts too so I know its extremely scary and tough to go through. It feels like you're trapped somewhere with no way out. My piece of advice would be to trust yourself and believe in yourself. Therapy for OCD is challenging but I've improved so much since starting, and I've also taken steps back instead of forward with my mental illness. Don't feel bad if you have episodes or are feeling very low because there's no need to feel guilty about it. Our thoughts are neutral, sometimes they are pleasant and other times they're not, and they doesn't change or determine who we are. The brain thinks about different possibilities and images which is extremely and completely normal. You are not disgusting or a bad person but simply a person. It took me years to tell my therapist about my intrusive thoughts because I was so scared. A few months ago, I was able to tell my family and some people close to me. I trusted them and believed in myself yet it was still terrifying having to say it out loud. Although these words are just words, I hope they provide you with comfort, even if it is just for a moment.
I don't think I have OCD and also have intrusive thoughts, lately it was when I was driving and my family was in the car, I sometimes think "I could just swerve and kill us all". I don't think it's that uncommon to have these thoughts, but because they're scary and weird no one really wants to talk about it.
I have diagnosed ocd and adult adhd which is a fucking nightmare combo, unfortunately I've been out of therapy and off medication for 2 years (ongoing shitty financial situation), the thing that's given me respite : for the past year I've been following a high energy and really rigid schedule, morning workout then work then structured hobby times and 30min-1hour walks btw meals everyday at the same times down to the second, a fixed high calorie diet (learnt around 20 diff recipes that i make and don't waste time looking for new things) to match my energy needs because I'm working out so much and most importantly completely deleted social media and stopped putting myself in unpredictable social situations. Just wanted to share this for anyone who is in the same situation but can't get a lot of outside help, it's pretty much completely stopped my intrusive thoughts, occasionally i get too tired to continue the schedule for a day or two and it throws me off but when i can get myself to start back on it it gets easier.
I'm not a psychologist and i know the solution is different for everyone but if you've tried things and it hasn't worked, then it doesn't hurt to try one more thing and i hope we all can get relief fron these feelings and live a full life 😔❤️
I have violent intrusive thoughts so often. Im trying to tell myself it doesn't make me a monster but it makes me feel a little sick sometimes
I feel this, as someone who has pretty severe ADHD. I feel like my disorder is constantly getting glamorized as a "quirky" disorder. It has literally ruined my life. At one point I was on track to having an 0.3 GPA because I had a month long episode where I just could not do school.
Speaking as a teacher: I've had to learn how to recognize signs of hyper disorders and behaviours and learning disabilities. It's always such a revelation to me how many parents have no idea how debilitating it is to their child that is suffering from it. They live with them, they have to learn how to deal with it, yet have no concept of how much the actual student suffers. It's almost like they think the student is inflicting it on them v it being a normal for them.
If it's not in their brain, they can't wrap their thoughts around it.
Hey, just wanted to say I really emphasize with your story. I went through the same thing, severe ADHD which led to nearly dropping out of school to stay home and drink every day. It’s so important we speak about the non-glamorous part of ADHD, especially now that it’s become such a popular topic online.
So quirky and fun to not be able to do things you wanna do bc your brain can not execute tasks at demand ^_________^
I had a mental break down in college because of a class where i had to write a 60 page argumentative research paper and i couldn't wrap my head around it at all with my ADHD and since it was required i just left school and never went back. ADHD is so fun and quirky amirite -_-
I am an extremely high functioning person with adhd, as I come from a family that seems to have some intelligent genes that get passed down, but my adhd broke my 4.0 first semester on my easiest class. SPED 4000, and it wasn’t tests, it was basically completion busy work, but I couldn’t do it for the second two thirds of the semester without trying very very hard, I was also (and still am) experiencing a manic depressive episode, but yeah, my friends would tell me I just needed to do it, and it was near impossible to explain that I just couldn’t manage it
Great take and perspective. Its a reminder to me that empathy comes before judgement.
Would love to hear your take on the topic in a live stream. ~
Thank you for this comment. Empathy and compassion should be first.
yayyy xisuma
New xisumasays video topic?
Its crazy how many youtubers r fans of/ watch the frenimies podcast from superraydizzle an art youtuber to X a minecraft youtuber r u kidding me this is so cool!
This is why having bipolar disorder is difficult for people to comprehend even conceptually, let alone empathize with. People tend to accept that I'm not always "me" but that's about it. When I'm outlandish, impulsive, don't sleep, and am insanely irritable all of a sudden for 2 weeks they don't ask themselves "hm, is this a display of her mental illness?" because they've been conditioned to think "she's not acting depressed so she must be ok." Then they get upset when I later try to apologize for my actions because they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that someone can be suffering when they aren't sad.
As a fellow bipolar I couldn't agree more. Additionally, I hate when people use, "sad," to describe bipolar depression. It's infinitely worse than, "sad." At least you're someone who recognizes that, if an episode (manic or depressive) negatively affected someone else (unintentionally of course), you apologize for it. I refuse to be someone that uses my illness to justify hurting others or behaving badly, but if I inadvertently do, it's my job to take responsibility for that behaviour, regardless. All we can do, is put in the work to manage our illness, and acknowledge our missteps if/when they happen. Imo, if at that point, others still don't want to be forgiving at the very least, I don't need them in my life. My illness isn't an excuse, but if someone can't accept a genuine apology, they're not worth keeping around.
people cant be angry and upset with you for being horrible to them because you're mentally ill? am i misunderstanding here because that's what it sounds like. my mental illness doesn't excuse my shitty actions, its only an explanation and its my responsibility to fix.
Same
yeah because accepting mentall ilness for real (not just saying so on the internet) is really hard and being ill in the rough rough reality means loneliness for a big part. Because nobody HAS TO BE WITH YOU when you are difficult and everybody has a right to defend or remove themselves from unhealthy situation. This acceptance that we can see on social medial is maybe just a first step towards real solutions in the future. Because for now there are not so many real remedies for ilnesses...
@@vismattress5760 Three months late, but still felt the need to reply. They’re not saying people can’t be upset with them because they’re mentally ill. They literally said they try to apologize for their actions, which leads me to believe that they know mental illness isn’t an excuse.
I have borderline personality disorder, so it’s not the exact same as bipolar, but I do understand what they mean. Yes, people are allowed to be upset when they feel hurt by our actions / words, but the way our illness gets pushed aside is hurtful in itself. If you display any symptoms besides sadness, you don’t deserve to be empathized with.
An example: my ex best friend and I got into a fight a while ago which was the cause of the end of our friendship. I take full responsibility that I could’ve handled things better and communicate what I was feeling. However, instead of trying to listen to me she immediately responded with hostility, saying I was making things up and that I was obsessed with her. She knew what I was dealing with, that I was going through a hard time, that I was insecure, yet she didn’t take some time to figure out that my mental illness was the cause of this. She didn’t even have a personality disorder or anything, she had an eating disorder, but I still walked on eggshells around her in fear that I would trigger a potential suicide attempt. I tried my best to help her with her disorder, yet she never gave me the same energy in return. Not to say one illness is worse than the other, but it goes to show that less ‘mainstream’ mental illnesses don’t get nearly as much sympathy or kindness. Dare I say they’re not given any thought at all. Because it’s much more complex than (mild) depression or anxiety, people tend to call us crazy lunatics who are bad people and inherently abusive and selfish. When I tried to apologize to my ex best friend I not only apologized for my lack of communication, but also for my illness. Which is so stupid that I felt the need to do that, but I’ve been villainized so many times because I’m mentally ill that I apologized for being mentally ill. It wasn’t even that far of a reach on my part. She said she doesn’t know if she wants to be friends again, because she’s finally doing better. Aka: she’s doing better because my disorder isn’t a factor anymore. I made a mistake and because of that I lost a friend.
Anyway, moral of the story!
Like you said: it’s an explanation. It is our *responsibility* to fix the issue, but it’s not our *fault*. We deserve to be listened to and to be heard even if our illness isn’t as ‘easy’ to understand as depression.
As someone who has BPD, I wish people would understand how complex it is. It's really tough on the person suffering. I can't explain the pain.
There are also a huge chunk of women being diagnosed with BPD, who are later diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I have spoken to many women with CPTSD and a late diagnosis of autism.
I am not sure if anyone has ever mentioned this to you, but you might look into it. It changed my life.
@@skateranddancer What difference does it make other than the label?
@@idgafcba it's important to know your actual diagnosis, it's not a "label". Different conditions require different treatment plans. I was misdiagnosed bipolar and was put on intense heavy duty meds because of the misdiagnosis. Deciding mental health conditions are just "labels" is basically saying they are all similar and can be dealt with the same way.
@@idgafcba it makes a huge difference when you have spent your whole life trying to understand “what’s wrong with you.”
Being diagnosed with autism helped me understand the choices and reactions I have had to situations. It helped me understand my sensory sensitivities. It helped me connect with others who have had similar experiences to me. It allowed me to find more applicable research, which in turn has helped me find better modalities for coping with a variety of issues.
But, just having a good quality therapist would have helped. DBT is helpful for those on the spectrum, and people with BPD. My therapist believed I had BPD tendencies, but never mentioned that DBT is effective for MANY to go into remission from BPD symptoms. He just kept using my family as a cash cow for drama appointments.
I was able to research BPD, learn about DBT, and then eventually found a scientific research study about the crossover of symptoms between BPD and ASD. Found a new psychiatrist, and got assessed at 29.
Labels can be wrong, but a correct dx can also help you learn from others experiences.
@@meghan1355
I would suggest googling BPD vs CPTSD.
I don’t want to overstep by copy pasting things in here, I think it would be better to go out and do that investigating on your own a bit.
One other very very interesting thing from the podcast with Dr Drew was how he said her experience as identifying male was actually common, and he didn't invalidate it at all. After how much hate she got for that, and a mental health professional said that yes, it is a thing, and it does, in fact happen as she explained. Another aspect of the misunderstanding of her that I thought was fascinating.
Its interesting because we all have reasons for doing things, where is the line between understanding someone struggles and holding people accountable?
People with BPD struggle with identity issues, Trisha is a clear example of that.
I loved that episode, it really humanized trish and I noticed there was positive feedback from the fans too
@@ca-ke9493 bruh autism is all about that shit cause autism is too woven into people, has different severities and to a certain degree its possible to overcome or work around many things, so when i dont have a fat chance of a clue that someone was upset with me all along because they didnt explicitly tell me, then i dont know either, im not sure how exactly i was supposed to know but i cant say for sure i couldnt have somehow figured it out. i can only show my understanding of someone else when everythings been explained and then take accountability, but sometimes thats too late. but then i dont know whether to hold them accountable for that either, because they never explained themselves to me. its a mess. its an existential mess
@@ca-ke9493 I understand taking accountability (and this is strictly for non criminal behavior)but at the same who are we to demand accountability for her personal struggles?.Our participation is viewing what happens in her life...If we are offended by what she does or says is she accountable to us personally? I think people in your day to day life are who holds you accountable...like spouse, family, friends.
@@ca-ke9493 The line is a personal one.
Tumblr practically fetishizied mental illness and we're still seeing the side effects. As someone who has been treated for depression, has family with severe mental health issues, the Tumblr trend to glorify depression and anxiety always bothered me. I've never been able to articulate why and how as well as this video has.
its still so surreal that they had that real fight in an Uncle Fester and Jennifers Body get up. Its also hilarious
Just reading this got me in a chuckle fit
Just wait till you see her shirt in the most recent fight
Jennifer's body is more iconic than uncle fester y'all
@@suqadiqniwa why not both
it feels like a fever dream watching that
One time a coworker who was a psychology student said to me, "I know you have like, social anxiety and stuff, but can't you just talk to people more?"
What do you work as?
bruh i hope they do not become a therapist
the like filler got me
@@brymac3624 a Lot of proffesionals doesn't have a clue of what they're doing
I had a whole class of psych mejors tell me to get more sunlight for my depression. When I said Im sensitive to sunlight so it makes me feel worse all they said was "but it makes meee feel better." They all agreed with eachother and acted like I was way out of line. Whats wose is the teacher (a licensed psychologist) agreed with them and told me to try it. Ugh
I wish people would stop saying "we are all depressed" because it paints depression as a common feeling of sadness rather than a very real mental illness caused by neurotransmitter imbalances.
One thing I've noticed is that while mental health awareness may have grown with social media, stigma has not actually gone down irl and people's level of acceptance is still largely conditional. Someone actually dealing with delusions, true anxiety, mania, true (not simply conditional sadness) depression, paranoia, etc, who is actually hindered in their socialization and overall functioning by their mental health will still be treated as if their problems are due to moral failings or personality flaws. The second that your mental health actually affects you on a way that is inconvenient for others, you are labelled as "crazy"
‘True depression not simply conditional sadness’ - thank you for this! 👏
It’s conditional and performative
Yo, try having BPD, panic attacks severe enough to make you pass out, and random psychotic episodes all the time. It truly debilitated. And people genuinely have 0 kindness in their hearts for it. The awareness has increased, and it means nothing. It's just so nuerotypical people can sit back and comfort themselves - it's virtue signaling.
@@mizkae true
yeah i pretty much got dropped and dubbed as the ‘crazy one’ by my friends, after they pressured me for months for not being ‘emotionally open’.
The romantisation of mental health issues is SO dangerous couldn't agree more with what you said about Tumblr
having lived through tumblr and being active on tiktok now, tiktok is tumblr 2.0 but worse in my opinion. this problem isn’t gonna get better without some big changes :((
I know. I absolutely hate gen Z for this.
RIGHT OMFG
@@Mezzy.. gen z?? gen z was like 12 at the moment, they learned this from millianians
@@Mezzy.. self hatred is millennials train. gen z is with god complexes lololol
it’s also harmful to the average person. suddenly, we cannot just be sad. we have to romanticize our sadness, call ourselves “depressed.” i’m sad as fuck after losing my girlfriend, but i cannot ever call myself depressed
truth is? we’ve NEVER normalized being open and truthful over our emotions. we’ve normalized commercializing and romanticizing it.
Yeah I think social media has led to mass self-diagnosing. It's quite dangerous.
I have zero idea why average people feel the need to romanticize their sadness? Never heard that before, and I would not advise this mindset.
But there's a difference between feeling depressed and having clinical depression and they are both valid.
@@Whatsayoutuber it makes them feel special or it’s just something new to add to their personality
Social media is so superficial
The topic of mental health on the internet upsets me so much.
Everyone is "accepting", "an advocate" and "raising awareness", but only as long as it looks pretty and can be cured in half a year. As soon as someone is severely affected by mental illness, people turn their backs and scream toxic.
Pretty much :(
yep, the way Trisha was treated by H3H3 fans after their fallout is absolutely inexcusable and disgusting
Oh! I remember a conversation i had with a friend after we watched “To the Bone”. At the end, the girl has a relapse in her ED and comes back to the house where she was rehabilitating (or so to speak). My friend was upset because she was expecting her to “get better” and “be happy”. I was baffled by that, because i loved how open the ending was. Of course she’s not gonna recover just like that, that’s not how it works. You can work your ass off for something and it can sometimes not pay off. But at the end she’s starting to heal, she’s starting to recognize a problem and she’s moving forward and that made me really happy because the movie shows that healing is not linear and sometimes you just don’t get a proper happy ending
For neurotypicals like myself stuff like this can get frustrating because we have no experience with the sort of inner struggle that type of message evokes. It has really taken a lot of communication for me to understand the struggles of mental health and I'm still learning. I'm glad your friend had you there to at least share your personal and valid interpretation. I think it is a lot more optimistic.
I thought the movie “Feed” by Trioan Bellisario was a more accurate depiction of an Eating Disorder. It really feels like someone else is with you when your in the disorder. And the ending was a bit ambiguous as to weather or not she was going to relapse or recover. That’s more realistic overall. It’s a good Eating Disorder movie.
@@janellephoenix4378 Try BBC's "Overshadowed" if you want. It doesn't glamorize eating disorders.
i got really caught up with the reviews for this movie and how they said it was problematic, so i avoided it since i already struggle with drug addictions, my mental health and have always felt some kinda way about my body. I read this comment and like immediately went to watch so thank you so much! I just finished it and came back to this, it was a great movie.
Mental health matters until the person with it portrays mental health symptoms and they’re villianized if they can’t “get over it” over time as if mental illness isn’t a lifelong thing. But this also doesn’t mean every action can and should be excused.
Like, just be empathetic and kind to people and don’t be quick to judge. There, most problems solved
This is unrelated but... Is your pfp Seonji from Odd Girl Out? 🥺
@@AyakoHideko omg I think it is 🥺 I love her
@@woahtheremyguy Everyone from the main cast of Odd Girl Out is amazing 😭❤️❤️ I miss Yuna 🥲
@@AyakoHideko yes same I hope she comes back soon 🥺❤️ Anyway, you have amazing taste in comics ✨
As we've seen with Kanye, as soon as someone is actually symptomatic of their mental illness (which may often include horrible offensive behavior) they are ridiculed and mocked.
Nah ppl like Kanye can get the best therapists and drs in the world to help but he chooses not to to protect his ✨creativity ✨🤨 Then his actions effect the election and the whole damn country, at least she tries to help herself.
Although, that doesnt mean that mental health should allow people to say what they want. Of course there are different severities of mental health issues, but that doesnt mean people should be left unchecked
Problem is that Kanye West has always been an asshole, not just in his manic phase. Besides that, he’s surrounded by so many people who could tell him to seek help and he refuses to do so. We shouldn’t consider mental illness as an excuse to do and say literally anything you want. If I were depressed and I went around town insulting every person I came across, I wouldn’t be justified in my actions just because I suffer from depression.
Mental Illness doesn't mean people shouldn't be held accountable. It would be one thing if Kanye made mistakes or hurt people here and there and then apologized and got the help he needs, but he refuses to do so. There are many people with Kanye's mental illness who manage it and don't act like complete assholes all the time.
@@Raven-mp7bv bipolar disorder cannot be treated with a therapist. and the drug treatment from a psychiatrist is arguably worse than the mental illness itself. there is no 'cure'. stop stigmatizing mental illness.
i was 14/15 years old on tumblr during the romantic-mental-illness era. still facing the consequences for that one. yeah....its not romantic
same! do you also feel like you were perfectly healthy and now 5 years later you're TRULY struggling bc of that time bc it made you believe you actually had these problems?
@@jessipxd exactly!
@@jessipxd same here, i truly believe the internet is a good place because it allows people to have access to information to 'destigmatize' certain illnesses but i have also fallen into the deep hole that is self-diagnosis, and once I fell into a community of people romanticizing it my social chameleonism kicked it. I'm still struggling with it to date, and it has made it worse because I have constant fear that I'm faking it for attention, despite having medication and going to therapy //
Not to make you feel bad in any way I'm just trying to understand... Does one do this because of the lack of self esteem? Or lack of identity so they need to find it thrive faking they have something they don't? As a teenager I was never able to relate to other girls that did this much less ones that cut themselves. It all seemed very very stupid and juvenile.
@@GeneTonics I mean, I think it's usual that as a kid you have like a good/carefree life and the older you get, the more worries come (starts off by not being accepted etc etc..) and I think a lot of younger teenagers struggle to cope with those negative emotions (I mean in my household, mental health was never a thing to be talked about) so they search for consolidation and I think I found that in those online tumblr sites.. It's not a faking it, I truly did feel really bad a lot of the time but I think it made it even worse being online seeing these all negative posts. I mean a wound doesn't heal by letting it bleed and bleed. A broken leg won't get fixed if you keep walking on it. You try to heal it. So what I am trying to say is that probably the underlying issue was already here but what we did with that issue made it even worse.
I think it is very condescending of you to say it's stupid and juvenile, I think a lot of people are either just prepositioned to have some type of mental issues (let's say genes, difficult upbringing, trauma, etc.) and self harm is a very real thing even in adulthood/old people (but in different forms like drug abuse or something). But I hope my explanation could help you understand our stupid and juvenile perspective, if you have any further questions please ask
Note: this is my experience and what I assume happened to me and from the people I know. English is also not my first language so I apologize if there are incoherent sentence structures.
So basically . . . mental illness is cared about when it’s aesthetically pleasing and NOT when it is portrayed in a realistic, unfiltered, and even ugly way. Both sides exist, but ignoring the “uncomfortable” parts of mental health (like she said) stops us from really understanding what it is.
It’s like the beautiful and controlled crying in the movies vs. the ugly and messy crying of real life.
I have ADHD and anxiety. My mental health struggles present in the forms of "meltdowns", anxiety attacks, and anger. It's honestly really embarrassing because I feel like as an adult I should be more in control of my emotions. I can say some of the meanest things when having a panic attack. I explained this to my partner early on into our relationship and thankfully he has been really supportive and understanding. I, of course, still take accountability for my action, but I think it's a fine line for people to walk between forgiveness and enabling. I was very much into sad girl aesthetic Tumblr at it's height, which I think led to some of the shame around how my mental illness presents itself. Thank you so much for talking about this, because I think it's so important.
I have similar issues. People think adhd is "cant sit still" but dont realize a huge part of it is having emotional regulation issues. I have been trying to improve my emotional outbursts for fear of hurting the people I love
I also fell into the Tumblr spell of "mental health issues are cool". Yeah my social anxiety disagrees. Nowadays I'm doing better (and going through therapy), but it was getting really bad before.
Yes!!!! I have ADHD too and the misunderstanding of it is so frustrating. It’s been shown that ADHD brains process the world completely differently than neurotypical brains. It’s not just a focus issue!! It literally impacts every aspect of life that you could think of. I’m happy to hear you’ve found a good support system! That’s amazing and so important to healing
Wow this was eye opening
I have adhd and I experience this as well. It’s tough and it leaves you feeling ashamed. It’s so hard.
You powerposing on a rock in the middle of a desert (?) is honestly a mood.
it's not desert it's chaparral, signed by a weeping Californian who has finally given into correcting the misconception T-T
@@projotce Its ok, its not called powerposing either, its called sitting
@@GreenZonto 5:22
@@chloek.9374 Ah, thats standing
I’ve realised one of the things that contributes to a distorted understanding of mental health issues, is the fact that people tend to assume it’s a linear journey. You have a mental illness, you exhibit symptoms, you get diagnosed, you seek help, you get better.
It’s not linear, it’s all over the place. And when they see people relapsing it makes them think they failed in some way? Or they aren’t doing enough or trying harder? Like we aren’t all human.
I think another good example of people's lack of empathy is Azealia Banks. She's been through horrific trauma as a child, like a parent "disciplining" her with a baseball bat, and from what she's recounted in one interviews I read ages ago (but can't remember where), it sounds like she went through early childhood sexualization. Instead of telling her to get help for her bipolar disorder, wishing her luck and understanding she's going through an episode, people online instead call her crazy, degrade her and some even go so far as to say she should kill herself because of her seemingly attention-seeking behaviour of insulting anyone and everyone.
Kanye has said similar and sometimes even worse things, like comparing himself to Hitler. He also suffers from bipolar disorder, like Azealia. And even though the tide seems to slowly be changing, as * some * people had empathy when he was going through his recent episode and announcing his run for president, the change doesn't seem like it's enough. And this slow tide of empathy definitely has not extended towards women in the limelight. People would rather swallow razorblades than extend the empathy and understanding they did to Kanye to Azealia as well.
I subconsciously felt that bias too, and saw her as too "nasty", too "messy" to empathize with... I don't wanna piss anyone off with this next comment, but I am going to say it and if you feel it's too "PC" then, tough luck. But I really feel there may also be a racial/gender element to people's reaction to Azealia vs Kanye too cause it kinda does play into harmful stereotypes of "oh [x] group's personalities is often like this by default" making it subconsciously seem like there's nothing mentally up with the person... like "oh that's just how she is" :/ :(
I have friends with bpd and none of them are bigoted. Kanye is though, there isn't an excuse.
Yes Azealia was also assaulted while getting started in the music industry. She has a lot of trauma and people dont recognize that.
This comment is so true yet so underrated:'-((
I already seeing Kanye getting a pass. Azealia has brought it up numerous times that men like him are always forgiven while women are held to a higher standard and aren’t.
I use to hate Kanye but now I am actually neutral to him (not a fan, but I don't hate him or love him). Finding out he suffers from a mental illness actually makes me understand him more and why he does certain things. If you see clips of him he's actually a decent person. Same goes from Trisha, I criticize her for what she's done but I'm neutral to her now after watching this video. Does this excuse their behaviors in the past? No. But do I empathize with them? Of course.
I think it's painfully obvious that people don't realize just how much mental health can make a person unlikable. That's often part of the illness though. The loss of a stable social life. When someone with schizophrenia yells absurd racist stuff in the streets, people see the racism and the awfulness of the person, and they struggle to understand that this person is that way because of things that you shouls emoathize with. It's hard to meet furious racism with empathy.
It even appears in more everyday subtle ways. If you're too blunt or misread social situations consistently and don't realize people are getting upset around you because of a social disorder, neurotypical people may not recognize you didn't mean harm and will write you off forever as a callous jerk or a weirdo. Even people with adhd, anxiety, executive dysfunction, etc. are all forced to abide by schools and deadlines built for neurotypical people only and others may write off someone struggling as a loser beyond help, etc. I just feel people are so quick to judge.
Yeah but how do people know everyone saying racist shit is mentally ill? And struggling doesn’t get you a free pass to be an awful person that hurts others.
@@rubyjane9119 yeah, maybe there's a way of empathizing without just giving them a free pass. Get people to own up and recognize their mistakes and ask them to try and improve them while still being considerate about their mental illness
@@rubyjane9119 Exactly.
@@neveerland We should start hashtags asking people to take a break and receive help. Heck, I wouldn’t mind if tough love became a normal thing in our culture again.
As a teen I used to romanticize my depression until I became an adult.
I guess it just hits different when you've lost all of your friends
Yep
Go do something. If you are in a psychiatric ward for depression they don’t let your ass lay in bed all day.
How dare you call me out internet person
@@joshb8976 don’t feel like this is very helpful. people with depression can’t just “go do something” that will magically make them not depressed
not everyone lives in a big city where there are things to do, and if they said they have no friends (which I can 1000% relate to) there’s nobody to go do anything with. So all you’re telling them to do, is go walk around and do nothing instead of sitting around and doing nothing. Not really too helpful.
@@joshb8976 that’s exactly what wards do. You’ll maybe get an hour of outside time a day if they are one of the good ones but for the most part it’s food time, maybe tv time then back to your room. For days or weeks or even months on end. Just nothing.
Keemstar seems to consistently turn ppls mental health issues into content, and that's gross
Very true
@Dr Phil.....
@@mchjsosde also true
that's why i don't watch him and i'll never watch anthony padilla's videos on different mental health issues when he hasn't experienced them. something about the puppy dog look in the thumbnail on a long video that he'll make a ton of money from is weird to me when he isn't a mental health professional.
@@MinuteMirror but from what I know about Anthony's videos is that he just interviews the people with mental illnesses. The people that are the topic of the video mostly take the reigns from what I've seen; so I'm wondering what drives you away from his videos? (I'm genuinely curious btw)
All I know is Bipolar Disorder seemed a lot trendier before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
It's just a huge pain in the ass.
Facts
Effy Stonem cut herself and suddenly it was glamorous to be "mental". I love Skins and similar shows, but holy hell, it for sure glamourized eating disorders and mental issues in general. You know... As long as you looked good doing it.
@@ettena93 yeah I love skins as well but you're right.
All I knew about it before was the popular girls at school would be mean to someone and then would laugh it off and say "im so bipolar" and now that I've been diagnosed with it and struggle through my days, I cannot even consider the idea that bipolarism would make you a popular kid at school. To me I just feel ashamed and embarrassed when it flares up or affects those around me. Its not laughable. Its stressful
same. fuck em
“...it takes a therapist to explain to the audience what’s going on”
This statement really reaffirms the thought in my head that no matter how much we try to raise awareness for mental health, not everybody will get it and that’s okay. There’s a REASON as to why mental health professionals take years and have a bar exam in order to practice in that field, because it’s a complex concept. Therapists and mental health professionals are there in order to help us decode the thoughts we cant understand, thats their job and thats what theyve been studying for for years. We cant expect people to understand that even if we do try to educate them through awareness, because at its’ core, we still need a professional to help us. Another thing to point out is that social media isn’t really to blame here, but rather mental illness is really just hard to understand and thats WHY there are mental health professionals.
I think one of the core problems that i dont think was given as much attention is the fact that the reason why we think everybody should be understanding somebody else’s mental health is the fact that we still water down how serious and how complex mental illnesses really are. Although i do not condone calling anyone crazy, Ethan’s team calling Trisha crazy is understandable to a point because of the fact that they probably dont know the symptoms and defense mechanisms of someone with DID like Trisha would have, they just thought she was just being her bimbo character. Bottom line is, mental health professionals should be given more credit for their work and the effort they put into understanding people with mental health issues and society through social media has watered down the complexity of mental illness.
She doesn’t have DID though
she never had DID.
I think she struggles so badly with her BPD which was diagnosed and it can be very difficult to manage both for the person and their friends/family. However I am 48 was diagnosed myself with BPD and I was never as extreme as TP though bad enough- it got to the point I knew I had to do something went through psychotherapy and after 2 years and in a relationship with a lovely person no symptoms of BPD for years so I do feel there is a lot you can do to help - hope that made sense!
* Cinema Therapy has entered the chat *
I think people see Trisha as someone intentionally trolling and mostly acting, rather than actually having a serious mental illness.
@SomethingReallyStrange agreed, I think she is reasonably sincere, to be honest.
@SomethingReallyStrange THIS!! People really don't get it
@SomethingReallyStrange if they are faking mental illnesses to seek attention, then wouldnt it be responsible to tell the person what they are doing? I mean which would be better?
-ignoring the person
-confronting the person
-entertaining the person
Its not so "black and white" but also, it seems that the first step is realizing your problem before you yourself can address it.
Maybe calling her an attention seeker and walking away is exactly what these people are supposed to be doing. She needs help.
Which im sure youre talking about medical professionals, not just her friends or strangers.
@@Alyzzardo shes not faking her illnesses for attention. she does outrageous or annoying things for attention. (like getting involved in drama that doesn’t concern her etc)
those things should be called out duh but the criticism should also come from a place of empathy
because she claims it's all trolling, which makes it confusing
It’s funny that the audience’s memory is so short term. Ethan and Trisha fought again and everyone hates her now, again.
Right?! She obviously disassociated and started saying the most hurtful things left and right because her brain was on panic mode. It was more sad and depressing than enraging this time. Like, that woman seriously needs help and I feel like her job doesn't make it any easier.
i always hated her, it's not again lol. she's awful, even when she's not having an "episode". and I think she uses it as an excuse honestly. anytime she says something wrong it's oh i blacked out, oh i was on drugs, and those excuses have always worked for her. calling a man's wife a cunt in his own home is abhorrent, I'm not going to give her a pass on that bc she has bpd
@@loiteringspy8063
I know you can’t give her a pass for using BPD, but what you don’t understand it’s that not genuinely Trisha. Those are words thrown out in a state of panic and a real uncontrolled episode. There’s a real soft and sensitive nerve (or idea) that got strung and she used distortion and aggression to band-aid it.
I think by the end of the episode Ethan was able to evaluate what happened and what needs to happen.
@@FlyingSQUIRRILLLS okay so if someone w bdp kills someone that's not genuinely them? no. it is. she has bpd, it is part of her and the things she says while having a bdp episode is still her. you can't separate her from her mental illness. that's like saying someone who's depressed and kills themselves didn't really kill themselves, bc if it weren't for the depression they wouldn't have done it. the reason for her actions don't make them okay.
lol i saw soooo many comments saying "mental health problems are not an excuse for saying terrible things" 🙄 even Ethan acknowledged she had become upset and that was why her demeanour changed
The important thing to remember about mental health is that mental illness is not an excuse for awful behavior. It’s an explanation. Trisha truly hurt Ethan and she said some unforgivable things to Hila. She showed such an utter lack of basic respect for them that can’t be ignored. People forget that it’s ok to say “wow I feel sorry for her and I hope she is doing well AND she said some awful shit and Ethan shouldn’t take her back”. They aren’t mutually exclusive. When you’ve been hurt by someone with mental illness, you can’t roll over and let them keep doing it- because then YOU’RE suffering as well. I learned that the hard way. My mentally ill friend made me mentally unwell to be around them.
I can relate to one of Trisha’s diagnosis and I understand the other one, and I must say it takes to be willingly trying to understand other people’s emotions when you are BPD. You need to learn to understand how other people is feeling. I’m not sure they’re clever enough.
@@storiesgirlll that’s a really good point
@@storiesgirlll I think trisha should log off the Internet and go get professional help
@@awkwardnerd. I mean they are getting professional help. I'll let you in on a little secret: mental health professionals dont want to treat people with personality disorders
So it's real fucking hard to get any type of "professional help". Dbt, what they are already doing, is the only thing there is
THANK YOU. I say this all the time to people who bring up mental illness when discussing someone's actions. Mental health is NEVER an excuse, it's an explanation as to WHY they behave the way they do.
I personally think its that we view mental illness as being different for “celebrities” than it is for your average person.
As an average person with mental health issues I have to say that even if people do perceive celebrities mental health issues differently, they don't deal much better with the average person having them too. A lot of empty advice and asking you to force positivity to get out of the situation. Hell, once people used actual movie references as how to overcome this
@@cristiadu You've hit the nail right on the head, people don't deal with mental health issues in average people very well either, especially with the empty advice, and don't even get me started on the forced positivity (being positive all the time is unrealistic).
You be surprised how many people still believe mental illness isn't real.
@@cristiadu yes yes yes! This so much!
the perception of celebrities affects how people in everyday life's actions are perceived
She just had a complete meltdown in the lastest episode and people are already hating on her despite having witnessed the same event before without proper context. Now that they have the context, they still choose to be ignorant and hateful 🤦♀️
@ilomilo- it's like they don't want to make things better. They want the drama, to hate on other people, conflict between others so they can enjoy it like a reality tv show. Only problem is that in this case, actual people are getting affected.
I literally have zero hope for the internet now. It's gonna take atleast a thousand years before we get anywhere near something that we can call better.
Its the trendy thing to do. Trisha can say a thing EVERYONE was saying. But at soon as she says it people grill her on tiktok or in youtube. Its dumb af.
why didn't they edit that out? it's so private
No one is being ignorant. What Trisha did was very disrespectful and she was in the wrong in my opinion. Just because she has a mental illness and had a meltdown doesn’t excuse the actions or the word she said during them.
Abuse is abuse, regardless of the cause. People have the right to be upset and she should be held accountable like everyone would be.
“Poetic sadness” Yep. I always called it glamorized depression.
It's always been that way. Look at Hamlet or portrait of an artist as a young man. Aldous Huxley this bitch, but great art feeds off inequity instability and grief. When the price would be too high for anything. Like I frequently wish I were dumber and I don't mean that in an edgy way. Because if a coping mechanism is not working it becomes despised.
And it's really hard to want to take credit for being empathetic thoughtful or artistic when it failed
Bojack Horseman is hands down the best show about mental illness and addiction.
I love it!
Crazy ex girlfriend is also great for representing mental health issues
I love it
@@mariuzzac agreed
Bojack Horseman is one piece of media I never get sick of. And the accountability that mostly happens (like Diane keeping Bojack in-check on his bad actions and the repercussions of it) helps me keep myself in check as well.
People don't have a clear picture of mental health because.. there just isn't one. Mental disorders are so complex and multifaceted that even professionals don't fully understand it yet. I do think that more varied representation can help, though. And Trisha may just be one of the representatives bringing more awareness this way.
Oh my God, as a person who had severe mental health issues, as a teenager, and am now in my mid-30's, I wish there was someone who made such a compassionate video like this video! I know that people shouldn't excuse my psychotic breaks and bad behavior, but SOME sympathy is needed if our society wants to progress!
Sometimes I wonder if my episodes would be as severe if mentally ill people weren’t forced to live/perform for the healthy world. I don’t excuse my bad behavior when I am sick, and I know that my illness allows me empathy and love for people who are disregarded as “too much”
@@phishlipsable , I used to be 'too much' too, LMAO! And of course, I heard from some therapists that life circumstances can increase psychosis, so performing for the 'healthy world' can affect one's mental health!
@Kenny Pham Thanks for the love and reply! A lot to think about and helpful too
People are forgetting that thisha is a survivor of many awful things. I frankly find her inspiring for trying. She is just sick
I agree. Everyone else portrays a perfect life until they need to use mental health to get out of a situation. Trisha gets hate because she’s so real; we see the ugly side of her too. Personally that’s why I like her, she doesn’t pretend like literally everyone else online.
@@teresa3940 same, The only thing she is guilty of is not hiding the ugly side of her, that we all have!
=/
In the most recent podcast, with ethan, she talks about being held at gunpoint, being raped, etc. She is a survivor. Going through those things changes you, and you see the world differently after those experiences. You become anger, hurt, sad, etc. People really should show her more compassion
@@sparklesparkle4851 I was shocked watching the “identify as a chicken nugget” video by how much everyone doesn’t realize she was not in her right mind whether it was drugs or a manic episode, you can see vacancy in her eyes
also reminds me of etika, how when he was obviously going through something, people simply made fun of him and spammed clown emojis at him
edit: just got to that part :(
I miss Etika...gone too soon
@@melondoesyoutube yeah :(
He's one of the many victims of this warped vision of "aesthetic mental illnesses". They do not take it seriously since it's nothing more than a character trait to them. When in reality it is much more nuance and manifests in many different forms.
Unfortunately it didn't end well for him… gone way too soon… Rest in peace Etika…
There is also a very lousy assumption that blacks don't get mental illness as we're "not smart enough" which has not yet been expunged from enough actual in-use textbooks. As a society we like our mental illness when it's maniacally doing complex equations in movies starring Russell Crowe in a suit.
I am 30 year old and i still don't understand my mental health issues.. keep working on yourself kids.
I'm 34 and still trying to find answers... We'll get there 💪
I wrote a fictional novel about my own struggles with my mental health, and I really wanted to write out a happy ending because who would read a story without one. As I continued to write it, I came to the realization that it's not realistic to expect an ending that says "and they lived happily ever after" from a story about someone going through depression. I wondered why I thought it needed to tie up all the loose ends when it's not even that sort of story. This video just explained to me why I ultimately went to finish my novel without the happy ending stuff. I go through it every day even after the novel, and I wanted to depict that.
the internet is stoopid
But here you are.
@@JohnSmith-lk9fv yes here I am
We're all stoopid
@@MustraOrdo yes
no but literally
What I like about H3 is that even though he often gets things wrong, he is humble enough to listen to the other side and is flexible with his views. I saw the conversation he had with trisha about the instagram reality video, and he listened to her express herself about how that hurt her, and showed empathy and growth. He doesn't always get it right but he tries to improve. And he really adores and respects his wife
I agree! I think interacting & developing a friendship with Trisha has spawned genuine growth in Ethan. The later episodes of Freenimies have revealed a more supportive, sensitive & understanding side of Ethan. He's able to call out Trisha out on her bs but continues the conversation in a way where a disagreement doesn't escalate to the point feelings are deeply hurt. His growth also translates to his latest podcast with Contrapoints, which covered vulnerable personal topics in a respectful & informative tone.
He's definitely had his share of controversies & people have levied fair/good faith criticism towards him, which I am not denying. However, in terms of this aspect of his character, he is clearly growing & values both improvement and his friendship with Trisha
Honestly thanks to Dr Drew, but she had another melt down in the previous frenemies ep. Hope they'll solve it
I love Ethan. He is so mature when these things happen and he tries to understand Trisha. - like the episode yesterday when Trisha storms out. He’s trying to understand her and why she acted like that.
@@swaves I agree with you as well
Ethan is handling Trisha so well! I think if a competent psychiatrist gave him more tools, he'd be doing better of course. But he's willing to better himself and adapt to Trisha's needs, but more importantly, is confident about his own value and boundaries. I hope she keeps being friends with him for her own sake because he seems to help her become better. I didn't watch her before the show because I can't stand her personality on her own (not saying she's a bad person, there's plenty of people I can't stand) But in the 13 episodes they make, she seems to be getting better at being more careful of the way she acts, what she says as well as having more self-respect.
What I like about frenemies and Trisha is that it is a real non romanticized portrayal of mental illness. It’s really clear to me Trisha is suffering from BPD and having episodes on the podcasts. Honestly she’s kind of putting herself in a position where she’s bound to have an episode because like she said Ethan pushes her buttons since that’s what the shows about and she inevitably breaks down/lashes out/has an episode.
It took me a long time to understand what glorifying and romanticizing mental health means, and that it is actually happening.
When people used to say mental illness is being romanticized, I said I didn't think so because people weren't trying to make it look good - that people talked about it and made sure people knew that it's scary and hard.
But then I finally realized that mental health, and really any kind of trauma or hard time in general, is romanticized.
I thought about it after I got into a car accident, and I thought about how movies make car accidents seem. They make it seem so dramatic, lights are flashing, sirens are blaring, and a sad dramatic song plays in the distance as the main character looks "aesthetically bloody", and yes, it's showing you what happened, and it's showing you the harsh truths of a car accident, but in a beautifully crafted way. Mental illness is the same, they make it seem so cut and dry, so dramatic, so "beautifully sad", and it's not beautiful, it's just sad. People want to find meaning in everything, but mental illness doesn't need a deeper meaning, it just needs a cure, and for it to be understood.
Hopefully that will happen soon.
Also, sorry for the long paragraph, hopefully it wasn't too confusing and I got my point across.
this is such a great video. whenever trish gets canceled over her scandals I’ve never paid them much mind bc its been obvious to me for forever that she has several mental health issues. of course she deserves criticism, but I have never gone out of my way to bring attention to her or shame her bc its just so clear, and its upsetting that others havent had that same realization
THIS, why isn't this obvious to people. Trish is self-aware and I love that
same
This like obviously they've done some bad things but I can see how they're struggling and trying to be better.
Maybe the reason we love movies and especially stories so much is that they do come to an end in a predictable and meaningful way. Unlike life, movies have a clear beginning and end and are used for education or entertainment. Life isn’t really that. Life is experiencing things without really knowing what will happen next or in the far future. But movies and stories give us that opportunity to have a conclusive happily ever after; because it will never happen to us ourselves.
I think the problem with Trisha is she has put herself so deep in the roll of "the troll" that when she actually is going through a breakdown people don't take her seriously.
I've never really liked Trisha personally, just not my cup of tea, but I like frenemies because there is alot of insight.
Fewer people believe I have diagnosed depression and generalized anxiety (and have for many years) because it has become such a meme.
The fear that others don't believe I have anxiety and having really bad bouts of self-doubt when I believe I'm faking it has heightened my anxiety. The worst part is that I think I got my mental illness from my interactions with someone who was a tumblr 'aesthetic depression' teen, so even less people believe me.
I think another issue is the whole "self-diagnosis" wave that happened in recent years. I have major depression with melancholic features, I got diagnosed at 13 and have continuously been getting treatment, I am now 19. The amount of people who have told me that they "know that they have depression" and refuse to get help/diagnosed is crazy. I didn't even realize how I felt was abnormal until my mom made me go to the doctor and I got diagnosed, so it is crazy to me that now people like to proclaim that they have it just because they took some quiz online.
@@yikes6532 at the same time, people ragging on self-diagnosis has made my mental health worse because I didn't have access to professional help back when I was at my worse and I know not everyone does. The only way I could convince teachers/my parents that I had a serious issue is to search up symptoms online and give them a word for it so they could take me to the doctors. Despite getting help since then, I still sometimes think I'm faking it even when I'm talking to my therapist because I did start from a point of self-diagnosis.
Edit: I don't disagree with you about the glorification of mental illnesses via online quizzes. Just trying to provide another perspective.
@@sriracha_sauce There is nothing wrong with looking up symptoms to get an idea of what might be going on, especially when it is difficult to access professional care.
Saying “I have been experiencing symptoms that align with this condition, and I believe that I need to see a doctor for these symptoms” is very different than someone saying “I looked up my symptoms online and took a quiz so now I am going to claim that I have this condition without ever consulting a provider”.
Edit: I think “self-diagnosis” is a term people use a bit differently sometimes but, in all, getting a clinical diagnosis is a very important step for any medical problem.
People have a really mild view of anxiety. I don't think people understand the difference between having an anxiety disorder, and being anxious sometimes.
What Fousey said at the end was so on point. I've been depressed for 7 years and everything about what I've been through let me know that I'll have to deal with this until I die. I can't describe my rage when people say "oh, it will always get better just hold on!" Like, no. The truth is that some people are just born to die. Not everyone makes it out, no matter how long they choose to wait. The truth is when I hear stories about people killing themselves, I don't fucking know whether or not that will be me next. My whole life I've been looking for that watershed moment when I hit rock bottom and get the divine spark you see all these actors get that motivates them to climb to the very top. It's just luck whether you rise up, stay there, or descend further.
It also sucks that when I see someone in pain, even though I've endured so much, I can't offer help that doesn't rely on tired platitudes or, as you stated in the video, misconceptions about the experience.
Thankx that hit me like a bus I feel the same sometimes but today I don’t as much so I just wanna say hang in there lol, ok I’ll stop but for real those moments that things get easier are worth it and the rest is luck is very hard to even remember what’s like to feel good happy or safe but you did feel those things before and you can feel it again
There is no watershed Hollywood moment, no divine spark - it’s a heavy avalanche of 100 billion grains of sand, and it’s already started. it just depends on if your life will end naturally before the avalanche takes it. don’t mean to be so depressing, but at least you can stop searching for your watershed moment and live the moments you have where you have the control to do so to the fullest, until you run out of moments or stop taking them yourself. one day you’ll either be too overrun eventually, or you’ll emerge from the sand relatively unharmed in comparison - my hope is for the latter, I say, as I slowly drown in the sand. hope you’re able to stay strong.
born to die world is a fuck
Clicked for perspective on Trisha. Leaving with a film degree. That’s a real creator folks.
There’s a subtle, but important,difference between “exploiting it for entertainment” and “exploiting it for income”
people looooove the “acceptance” of mental health until it doesn’t fit their own perspective and romanticization of illnesses like depression (which i experience myself). depression is “wow uwu so strong girl boss 🥺🕊❤️” when people are crying at 3 am, but when people can’t get out of bed to brush their teeth and their teeth rot it’s like ew... wtf is wrong with you
someone finally put it in words why i can’t shower or brush my teeth consistently
More people are aware of mental health issues but that doesn’t make them accepting or understanding of mental health. Nor does it mean they have a full or accurate understanding of said illnesses.
I think you should definitely look at the most recent frenemies podcast, where Trisha storms out the third time. She got really emotional and I think deserves some analysis as well, because from what I'm seeing in the comments people are saying things like 'all my respect from trisha is gone' and 'shes so toxic' and so on.
Its literally the same problem all over again.
I agree, I was shocked over fan reaction to that episode. I thought it was immediately recognize-able that she was going into one of her episodes and that the insults she was saying should be taken with a grain of salt. I do agree with AB & Ian that any further conversation about the topic should be taken off air.
History repeated again
@@elodie5075 i think some people are so gullible.
Mental illness doesnt give you a right to abuse others
@@ttc958 Way to state the obvious.
This aged...interestingly
Hmm 😔
What's going on?
Why’d you say thet
They fell apart now the podcast is cancelled
It makes me sad because... they really seemed like Frenemies?
Because sometimes they seemed very good friends, and I thought they were trying to work more and more on Trish's problems and Ethan's perception on her.
Even though, I wasn't listening to their podcast, I saw videos of them being very good friends.
I’m honestly incredibly worried about Trisha and how it feels like she isn’t being given the help she needs. I think we need to stop sensationalizing her actions and start actually being concerned for her
This is the hottest take and i hope we dooo cause she's just ruining her actual life on the internet for the internet
i agree that trisha isn't getting the help they need and i really hope they do, but i would take a step back with expecting people to be concerned for them just because mental health aside, trisha has said and done alot of incredibly offensive things
@@nathalie3601 oh yeah when I made this initial comment it was well before even some of the stuff they’ve done recently. It’s, in my mind, way too late for them to ever redeem themself and they clearly don’t have an interest in actually working on themself the way someone with BPD should.
Theh need to just be ignored by folks at this point because as long as they get attention I doubt they will stop
The problem with Trisha is that no one knows what is real and ‘trolling’. I’ve been on this platform for 10 years or something, and she has always had this vibe with her. Never seen the poscast, I find them boring.
She makes it all up
This video is really interesting. I remember when they brought Dr. Drew on and Trisha tearfully explained that she can’t control what she does I felt a wave of guilt come over me. Like people have said, trishas actions can’t be excused but to realize we have been attacking her when she has been suffering is really saddening, it’s caused a lot of self reflection for me
As someone with ADHD, the way I perceive things and take things is so different than that of someone without it. But even after knowing my brain works in a way that isnt exactly "normal", I still feel normal. I've had this my whole life. I dont understand what it's like to think any other way. And everytime I'm told that the way I think is "quirky" and that I'm "relatable", I end up hating myself for having a mental condition I cant exactly get rid of. Thoughts..?
I agree with those feelings.
I'm heavily depressed, and to me this is a normal day. Nothing is off to me, it's a regular Thursday, but to others I'm relatable, different, quirky, interesting, depricating.
I agree about feeling normal in a lot of my unhealthy and or neurodivergent behaviors. It’s hard to know where my disability and my personality end and begin. They just kind of feel like the same thing. I’m just now realizing a lot of the way I live is bc of my ADHD and trying to fix bad habits but it’s hard when it feels like going against my nature.
I'm unsure to what extent i perceive things differently due to my autism/ADHD. because i don't have access to other people's minds (and factors other than autism/adhd probably influence how i think). Because i assume i'm "normal" i may under-estimate how differently i think to other people because of this (I've only recently realized that other people may react differently in the same situation because my sensory sensitivity means i probably perceive it differently). I wish it was easier to figure out how differently we really thought from others!
Trying to explain my adhd symptoms tends to go one of two ways. Either they try to relate to them too much in a sympathetic way 'oh that's okay, everyone does that' and end up minimising things that are genuinely debilitating to me. Or, they actually do relate too much, and you have that awkward moment of 'If I tell this person that I think they might also have adhd, will they react negatively?'
when everyone was making fun of him during his mania i honestly felt awful like everyone was making a mockery of us with bipolar
if it makes you feel better, i had no clue at all he had bipolar i just saw a bunch of kanye for president memes with no clue or context of how it came about. for all i know it could have been some lighthearted joke he'd made in response to something that people then went with because every election needs a meme candidate. so just try to remember that if someone doesnt know you, their mockery isnt of you, but of a superficial image they have of you, which still sucks, but it says nothing meaningful about who you are as a person
The fusey tube thing was really sad, everyone who egged him on and encouraged him should be embarrassed. The man needed help, not an audience.
people only care about mental health when it’s relatable
I’m happy you be categorized how people express their mental health on tumblr. (Trigger warning) being someone who used to self harm always thought tumblr to be harmful because it romanticized depression. Someone told me to check out tumblr to “not feel alone.” I remember seeing a post on the lines of “my scars tell a story” and being bothered by the response of OMG SAME ~emoji, emoji, emoji~. I felt like it was encouraging self harm. It’s not fun explaining scars to every new person you meet.
To address the beginning City folk is also comprised of immigrants who lived in practically camping conditions in the places they originally came from.
That’s true. My parents think camping is weird because of this
Yeah but they wouldn’t go camping the article is about yuppies who who saw camping on social media and tried it not realizing the “difficulty” of living in a bit less comfort
I love to camp and it always weirds me out when people say they don't.l ol My mom spent a lot of time living in cars as a child. She sees no point in doing that on purpose, so it makes sense.
I scream, you scream, we all scream cause we're terrified yeah I do it to go to cool places cheap and get away from everyone except friends
I have friends who grew up in vans and they adore camping to this day. I mean I get that it could get boring if you got nothing to do but in the form of a trip it's great!
I started recognizing depression thanks to Tumblr. Years later, talking about it in therapy I have learned that the depression community on Tumblr has been the way we have all dealt colectively with the feelings we have inside ourselves and are afraid to share with the world. It has been our way for coping, but also a way to encourage feeling like this instead of healing. If we had more empathy and love in general as a society, maybe these feelings wouldn't be seen as something to hide, something cool, something to be praised for, something you feel outcasted for. Still learning from this, but what I'm sure of is the impact this has on us, on how we see the world, and how we grow up thinking NOBODY else feels the way we do. When in reality, there is so much bravery from accepting that you don't feel right.
I literally talked about this today. It really upsets me that people stay cancelling Trisha while posting about mental health awareness. Mental Health has become so glamourized through media that people forget that suffering through mental health isn't pretty or a quirky part of their personality. Like people are literally seeing Trisha exhibiting textbook behaviour/characteristics that people stay posting on their Instagram and Twitter as a means of saying 'signs someone is suffering with mental health' but then want to turn around and call her crazy? Her signs couldn't be more clear, how does that even make sense?
for real!
THAT PART
Trisha is a survivor. She is improving immeasurably. I find her inspiring.
She is also a compulsive liar. I've watched her for ten years now, shes always adding and removing parts of her stories
@@ttc958 well i mean, would that not happen while being mentally ill? lmao
@@rhino8817 doesn't excuse her behaviour. Lying is lying, abuse is abuse.
I work with people who have bpd. And she is improving and working on herself...it is inspiring because the struggle of bpd is horrifying.
@@Sinchronicities everyone has acknowledged her mental health. She has the resources to care for her physical and mental health yet chooses not too. If you refuse to put in the work to attempt to manage your bpd and you begin abusing others, you are at fault. Reading dbt books isn't work, therapy, dietary chnages, fitness etc. She doesn't do therapy for the same reason she gets plastic surgery instead of seeing a therapist and going to the gym...
If a man beat his wife because he was spiraling it doesn't negate the fact that he abused his wife. Just because he has mental health issues doesn't mean he is the victim.
This actually puts my thoughts into words... I unfortunately have anxiety, however I hate using it as an excuse and ultimately, I wish I didn't have it. So it really frustrates me when people around me keep using anxiety as an excuse. At first I'm understanding, because I can relate to the feeling. But after a while sometimes it seems like they've just accepted anxiety as a permanent attribute of their personality and no matter how much encouragement and support I give them they just don't want to grow. It actually makes me more insecure about myself... Am I being a bad friend? Am I being too pushy? Are they doing this cause they don't like me? How should I change?
The most annoying part is that I have anxiety and when they're like "oh man I'm not sure, I get real anxious about these things..."
I'm like, "b*** me too!! But I ain't finna sit here all my life, I want to get out of my bubble."
Having anxiety is not a restriction, it's an obstacle that you can overcome and I think we need to advocate that more. Also if you have anxiety and someone is trying to help you, don't push them away, you're only going to spread your anxiety.
i refuse to fangirl anyone but i make an exception for donna and everything she does.
I approve
but srsly...the internet beautifying mental health is dangerous - for people's mental health. im used to jokes and banter about mental health, and i felt backed into a corner where it was not okay to be okay. where celebrating happiness and positivity was not okay and instantly brushed aside with "well im not okay lol". now, i acc do self harm. i do have an eating disorder. i go to counseling. but i hate where i am, i hate ppl making this the normality and i hate the way my feelings feel unappreciated and unwelcome.
phew.
@@emilyl444 congrats to you to going to counseling. That is amazing 🥰
Emily Law the way people from all walks of life invalidate experiences and emotions in our society is truly a disease and some of the worst offenders are within the new age movement. Toxic positivity abounds there. I get into arguments about this all the time but the problem is they think they’re actually doing you a favour by telling you to get over it.
@@emilymmacisaac thanks x
Oh, turns out I didn't like Trisha because I can relate to her so much see so much of myself in her. FeelsGoodMan
Haha that’s why I like her and hate myself for it
@@natpolkabunny same
Same
@@natpolkabunny right? i love her because i can relate so much in like everything, but damn do i hate myself whoa
It really hurts to be called crazy when you’re just reacting how your overwhelming thoughts are effecting you. I will always be called crazy by people who don’t struggle with mental health and all I can do is go to therapy and talk about it.
TW: depression, eating disorders
When I was a teen I was obsessed with Tumblr, I was very depressed so it, how you said, made me feel understood. I ended up in a rabbit hole at one point that lead me into a pro ana and Mia blog. It called me disgusting in every single way and told me how I should measure the calories of my food and what not. It's awful it was allowed to be there in a website so full of teens
As someone who also suffers from BPD I really relate to Trish sometimes seeing her emotional responses so it's nice to finally see some exposure & understanding. It can be so hard to live with.
You break down these topics so eloquently. Thank you ❤️
It was heartbreaking to watch Trisha during the latest episode.
You could see the immediate regret as she kept pushing the line further and further. ..she just could stop.
The pain on her face.
So sad.
People who actually appreciate camping don't want them there anywhere. There has also been an increase of littering due to these jerks.
I, personally, have a mental disorder and sometimes I sit back and realize how many people left when shit hit the fan. When I tried to “off” myself (several times) my family cared. But funny enough they actually STOPPED calling me. They STOPPED checking on me. I don’t have any friends but I don’t think I can forgive them for abandoning me. I will be in a better space living somewhere far away from them. It hurts knowing that before I succumbed to my illnesses they loved me. It’s not even like I hurt them and did something unforgivable, considering only my MOTHER is the one who cares and made sacrifices and didn’t stop loving me. We have our moments but I will never not be thankful for that woman.
@@poopamultimatepoopy 💯💯💯
“Glamping” is what I know it to be called. (It’s not real camping it’s a glamorous version of it lol)
I love how she randomly sits in the desert
One of the best "artistic" descriptions of depression I ever read was by Sylvia Plath, but not her poetry. Her semi-autobiographical novel, The Bell Jar, depicted the main character's mental deterioration right at what should have been her big chance to make a career and a name for herself. At one point she describes her depression as living trapped inside a bell jar; the world can see her, and she can see out, but she is permanently separated and apart from what the lives she sees "normal" people living. When her recovery eventually progresses to the point that she is capable of living on her own, the bell jar hasn't disappeared. At the end of the book, she says the bell jar has been lifted, but it still hangs above her. The ending is truly hopeful in tone, but it doesn't perpetuate the myth that you can be totally and 100% "cured" of your depression. The bell jar could descend again in the future, but for now she's living in the present.
We've already seen what happens when a fanbase does not understand mental health (Etika), people just don't learn and it's sad.
As someone who has pretty severe mental illness I find it so important to talk about this stuff, the way depression affects literally every single aspect of my life is really fucking hard, I have body aches, I can’t retain information well, I literally just don’t feel like Im here sometimes, I struggled so much in school because I just could not remember anything Bc my brain was full of really really bad stuff, I constantly think about my family and always want to call my grandpa but I just can’t bring myself to do it and it doesn’t make sense mental illness just sometimes doesn’t make any sense at all and you just have to work on it and adapt to it, you have to learn how to live with it and respect that it’s a part of you, you never get out of being mentally ill but you do make it easier, you work on yourself you address your triggers, you have people around you who will understand and be able to support you, you recognize your faults and try to fix them, I went from being a very toxic girlfriend from saying “you’re the only reason I’m alive” “I need you so badly” “if it’s wasn’t for you I’d be dead” and even tho those statements are true it’s not okay to say that stuff constantly to your significant other, I was 14 and didn’t understand how damaging that can be and now when I’m experiencing difficult times I can see and accept what I’m doing is wrong or I know how to ask for help in a safe way, at least most of the time, certainly not all the time, I’m only 17 and I’ve struggled with this all my life, this year has been the healthiest safest happiest year of my entire life, I’ve never felt safer or happier but I’m currently going through so far a two week depressive episode, I didn’t shower since thanksgiving to yesterday, I haven’t done any school work for weeks and I’m trying to get out of this slump by working on art and coloring, getting dressed up and allowing myself to just sleep, it’s hard and It sets me back but I know I can get through this and do better, it’s just fucking hard but sometimes you just have to ride it out and try to take care of yourself in any way you can, you have to accept that sometimes your body abd brain might just need to stop for a bit, in this mindset, when I’m deep into this mess of my brain I celebrate everything I can do, like drinking water, making myself tea, eating, getting out of bed to do something as simple as use the bathroom, that’s something that needs to be appreciated abd celebrated sometimes when shit gets hard and dark, thank you for your video, there’s so many aspects to mental illness, it affects people’s lives in so many ways abd everything is different for everyone, thank you for bringing this to light and to anyone dealing w/ this, I’m glad you’re alive today, thank you for getting through whatever you had to, please remember no matter who you are someone or something somewhere in this world loves and cares for you, keep going💜
Definitely a big thing to take away with this is. It explains what happens but doesn’t excuse it. As a person who has dealt with mental disorders all my life it shouldn’t be excused for what Trisha has done. She has done very awful things for other communities and this video does a good job of explaining why she may be doing this. But I still can’t get over all the awful things she has done and never addresses or takes accountability for, such as the trouble she has caused for the DID or LGBT+ communities along with others.
YES! THIS RIGHT HERE! We should work towards lifting the stigma around mental health, but we also should coddle the ones who are going around hurting others, either.
(This is just my own personal opinion. I’m not claiming to be “right” just wanted to share my 2 cents on this topic.)
I think people forget that serious mental illnesses are disabilities. It’s not a fad or a cool trendy label.
You hear too many stories of people who have mild mental illness doing great things in spite of their mental illness. Society loves the mild cases because they can pat them on the back, tell them how brave they are, and how proud they are of them for being functional and productive members of society.
But when a person has more severe and impairing mental illness they are hated by society and are deemed stupid, lazy, unproductive, and worthless members of society. People with more severe mental illnesses get the stigma and hatred that mildly mentally ill people don’t get. It’s no wonder that suicide rates among people with severe mental illness is so high.
I wish there was more representation for people who suffer with more debilitating mental illnesses. Their stories don’t get told as much. And severe mental illnesses need to be regarded as disabilities not as moral failings. No one should tell someone with Down Syndrome or Autism that they are lazy, unproductive, and worthless. It should be the same for people with severe mental illnesses like Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, etc.
They didn’t choose to be impaired and most people with severe mental illnesses wish they were normal/Neurotypical. Because it sucks to be mentally ill and in a group where everyone hates you.
I would like to add that being severely depressed is capable of making you as unproductive .
I wish I could go back to the days where I only had depression and anxiety. Last year my disgnoses were updated forthefirst time in 5 years. Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, Panic Disorder with agoraphobia, major depression, Generalized Anxiety disorder, and intermittent psychotic episodes most likely due to all of the above happening together. The psychotic episodes are 100% debilitating and the panic disorder makes me pass out when it comes on (which it loves to do when I'm driving) and has landed me in the ER. No employer has ever given me any compassion, my college kicked me out, and even my own family thinks I'm just making it up. All my friends ghosted me when my really bad episodes started happening more frequently. It's so isolating. If I didn't have my DBT group, therapist, and husband to keep me hopeful, I wouldn't be here.
Ngl, watching Frenemies really helped checked me on the prejudice i didnt know i had against people suffering from mental health issues. When people "act out" due to their mental health problems, everyone's first reaction is to instantly retaliate against them instead of trying to understand them and their behavior. And this doesn't just go for people who struggle with mental health (although they do receive the worse end of it). The world would be a much better place if we all tried to understand one another.
Is there going to be a follow up video now that the Frenemies podcast has ended? Perhaps taking a deep dive into how trisha responded and how the fan culture flipped on her?
I was thinking of this video the whole time she was having her breakdown on the latest episode.
Omg no kidding
she was clearly set up by Ethan to get out of control again by him bringing up a comment Hila made about Trisha and then before Trisha said anything negative or bad and did not mention the family nor parenting just aggressively tells Trisha to stop talking about Hila, that was so fucking weird. Clearly to make her go off again because it`s great monitizable content to him. He completely exploits her mental state.
@@pyruvicac.id_ ever heard of boundaries?
@@wacky2263 ever heard of people exploiting people/youtubers with mental illness? If you are an h3 fan and know what shit keemstar pulled, you know how badly it can end..
Honestly, more people see her as a troll than someone with actual issues. Before this video, I pretty much thought of her that way too.
same