Everything Wrong With Pinocchio in 18 Minutes or Less
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- Опубліковано 1 лют 2023
- 2022 saw the release of TWO new Pinocchio movies. This is the "live-action" one. It's got lots of sins.
Next week: alien sins & sexy sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie's sins should we count next?
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"As a rule of thumb, when someone calls themselves honest. They ain't."
This is probably the only decent moral that this movie will give you.
Except for Lincoln
So, are we saying that it's just impossible to be an honest person? That's just depressing.
“Reliable Sources with Brian Stelter”
Tell that to Biden
I would like this comment but I have a rule to never break a liking of 69 likes
Missed outtake opportunity
Geppetto: YOU ARE A TOOOOY!!
They’re played by the same person, too.
A Lonely Old Mans Plaything!
Omg yesss I so do hope this exists somewhere :D
Don't worry, dude. Steve Reviews used that very line in his review, and it's exactly as funny as you think it is.
Pinocchio: You are a sad strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell. 🖖
To this day, I still find it so crazy that 2022 was Pinocchio's year.
Thank you for the comment, Moist Critical from the hit UA-cam Channel, Pinguinz0
Four Pinocchio movies, and only one nailed it
@@Raincally did this one nail it?
@@quinnhouk5369I was finna screenshot this but then u appeared, scared me
"to this day" dude, chill its only been 1 month into 2023. "To this day" is used to describe something a long time ago. It's like those news articles that say "way back in" then proceeds to list last year's date.
#1) The fact that this movie actually exists.
#2) The fact it flopped with Robert Zemeckis and Tom Hanks.
Ikr? BTTF's Robert Zemeckis and Forrest Gump's Tom Hanks?!😮 Holy shit, that's Disney taking a nosedive!
I was gonna write that 🤣
I am very disappointed in Cinema Sins that that wasn't the first sin
#3) The fact that this movie actually exists.
Disney Live Action Remakes: *exists*
Cinema Sins: "And we took it personally."
I take them personally too
As did everyone who liked the originals, and even a lot of us who were indifferent to them.
As they should.
I think the biggest sin of this movie was the fact that Pinocchio is a passive observer in his own movie. None of the decisions were his to make; he just wandered from set piece to set piece, always following some else's instructions. Hell, he didn't even choose Pleasure Island, he was coerced with peer pressure!
It's true, Pinocchio's lack of agency in the movie was definitely a missed opportunity. It would have been interesting to see him make his own choices and take control of his own story instead of being a passive participant
What's amazing is that in the original story, Pinocchio is legitimately a brat who consistently makes horrible spoiled decisions and sees the consequences consistently. This along with the sheer amount of content from the original story Disney didn't adapt in the original animated Pinocchio is why this could have been the one warranted live action Disney remake. They could have shown us an alternative that faithfully adapts the original Italian story.
I don't know what I expected, considering EVERY other live action Disney remake should have already served as a warning that Disney doesn't care.
He’s a wooden puppet 😂😂😂
@Ellie Michaels 👍👍
Nailed it
My daughter’s favorite movie when she was a toddler was Pinocchio. She would watch it endlessly on repeat. She’s 15 now, and as soon as she saw this pop up on D+ she insisted that we watch it together so that we could shit all over it 😂
That's so sweet! It's nice that she's old enough to appreciate how crappy the remakes are compared to the originals!
@@LucianDevine 😂😂😂
that is adorable and funny
She didnt like it, did she?
you've done a good job parenting
Gotta say: I’m not sure there’s a movie that deserved a “This movie exists” sin more. And there’s been an absurd number of movies that deserved it in the last few years…
all these years and the big "NOOOOOO!", little _"...no."_ call-and-response joke still gets me 😂
I can't believe that Pinocchio received THREE remakes in 2022 alone. Guillermo Del Toro's version was definitely the best, in my opinion.
Don’t forget Puss In Boots
Here is my ranking
1: Guillermo Del Toro’s version
2: the 2020 Disney reboot
3: Pinocchio: a true story
@@guysmith5505 what about Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish?
@@UrLocalGabe I was ranking Pinocchio movies, but Puss in Boots 2 is still one of greatest animated movies I have ever seen
The fact the yassified version of Pinocchio with the “father when can I leave to be on my own 😩 I’ve got the whole worldussy 😘” is more memorable than the Disney live action
This may just be one of the gayest comments I've ever read 😭
Made me laugh though
plus nostalgic actor, nostalgic actor best movie #2 then next to Puss
1940 Pinocchio = action, adventure, magic and tough moral lessons.
2022 Pinocchio = soulless remake with loads of unnecessary easter eggs and no real lessons.
I wouldn't say soulless. It just needed a lot of improvements
Del Toro's Pinocchio = Excellently made passion project with messages about life
@@masterknife8423 no.
@@masterknife8423 It was definitely soulless, the release vs the Del Toro's version more likely than not means they did it in response to his version coming out vs something someone wanted organically. Pinocchio has been public domain for decades so them choosing to release their version was about trying to keep the puppet firmly with Disney recognition wise.
Pinocchio A True Story = A wonderful movie to make everyone laugh
The description says we got TWO Pinocchio movies. Actually, we got THREE. Don’t be forgetting about the Pauly Shore classic.
We also have another one that featured Pinocchio in a separate adventure, it also had Tom Kenny as the titluar character
No no, that didn't happen... That Pauly Shore thing makes Disney's remake look like a masterpiece.
Outside 2022, I love the Pinocchio with Roberto Benigni and the 1996 live action version
“Faaatherrrr!!!”
"I've got the whole worldussy"
I love how the final sin actually was "Goodnight Geppetto, I leave you a disappointed man."
The girl and her marionette speaking in unison implies that it's alive too, which raises questions.
Okay the “sudden flirty fish with underwater mascara” got me 😭😭
"Memory may hold the key..."
Caboose "Oh and the sword, the sword is also a key."
And when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death
Wow a reference of one of My favorite series
@@73NSH1 And still did Pinocchio better.
edit: my mistake. first saw that as a kingdom hearts reference.
@@denverarnold6210 Yes you're right but i don't remember someone saying that on a kh game
Well...MINE IS Anyway,
As It Even Whistles: Dixieland.
I'm surprised that the fact that they were conversing perfectly fine with each other. While they were meters apart from each other in the middle of the oceans. Did not get sinned
"Why on earth would you want to be real, when you can be famous?"
CinemaSins: Twitter.
Why did that make me laugh harder than it should've?
Because that line from him is better than this entire movie
Imagine you're getting roasted by Pinocchio and his nose doesn't move an inch
I would add a few more sins for:
1. The completely missed opportunity, when Pinoke was in the cage trying to get the key, to say "I am wearing ladies' underpants"
2. 100 sins for not making Pinoke a real boy at the end
He actually does turn real, but you have to look very clearly because it’s not until literally the last 10 seconds of the movie.
I would add Stromboli going to prison for no actual reason.
Like, all he actually did was own a traveling caravan that hosted puppet shows, bought a puppet legally (as far as he knew anyways), and locked said puppet in a cage (though puppets have no rights so it's not like that was illegal)
He may have been a dick, but he never actually committed any crimes
@@Dark_Mishra Thanks for pointing that out (just rewatched it) but lol frickin seriously? That was like barely noticeable, with Jiminy saying "did he turn real? Who knows?". The heck was the point lol! No, I'm keeping that as a sin.
Add another sin for the seagull sounding like she does crack 24/7.
I think Geppetto needs to check his varnish containers for leaks because something tells me he might be inhaling them
2:04
The ironic thing is, in the far superior live action Pinocchio movie starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas in the title role, one of the other kids calls him “Woody”. Jonathan starred with Tim Allen in the sitcom Home Improvement. Tim Allen voiced Buzz Lightyear in the Toy Story movies, which also star Tom Hanks as Woody.
4:04 that one is called The Shape of Water, which coincidentally enough is yet another far superior Guillermo del Toro movie
The CGI in this Pinocchio remake looks so uncanny and unsettling to look at.
I’ve never seen this movie, but based off of the clips and complaints I’ve seen, I just can’t help but think to myself: God help this generation.
Don't worry. This generation also has Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio, which is phenomenal
I have been buying the blu-rays of all the Disney classics, including the original animated Pinocchio movie, for several months in response to all these stupid remakes.
@@matthewpatrick7263 I've been going out of my way to find the 2 disc special editions of the classics just to spite them even more, since Disney doesn't get anything from second hand sales
Yea this entire generation can be summed up with a vid of this one movie
Pinocchio movies are the least of this generation's woes. I hope everyone dies before they have to starve and watch the world burn.
You forgot to say, “This movie exists.”
You should do an ultimate sin vid of all three Pinocchio remakes that came out in 2022. Yes, including the fruity one
Faaaaather, when will I get to be a real boy?
It’s ironic because the fruity one is Russian
If you like movies, quotes, and recaps then check my channel.
aww hell no
“The fruity one” uh oh here we go again 😂😅
Insert homer backing into bushes meme
In this universe Monstro is not the prehistoric sperm will known as Leviathan. He's a whale with tentacles like he's some monster out of an Asylum movie.
Pinocchio, by H.P. Lovecraft?
@@MKDumas1981 Yeah I can see that.
The fact gepetto knows of the island makes we wonder if thats how his last son vanished🙊
And how many lost children did Tom Hanks pleasure himself with on Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile island?
8:35
Can we have that movie?
Can we call it 'Too Honest John'!?
You should totally do Guillermo's Pinocchio
This whole video is exactly one of the reasons why I prefer Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio over this Pinocchio. I mean, sure, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio might have sins too, but still.
Referring to the seagull as "air rats" was funny as hell, never even thought about that xD
Usually that’s pigeons.
@@magicmulder In my hometown by the sea, we have not only city pigeons, but FOUR species of gull. Three of them (greater black-back, lesser black-back, and black-headed) are fine, but the herring gulls are just The Worst. Whoever wrote the "MINE!!!" schtick from "Finding Nemo" obviously grew up near the sea.
Fun Fact: A live-action remake of Pinocchio (1940) was first pitched to Disney by Jim Henson in 1985, but Disney turned it down
A Pinocchio movie by Jim Henson could've been interesting ngl
Do a Pinocchio week, I swear there are so many movies!
I agree! Especially Guillermo del toro's Pinocchio
I really feel like "Excess Cheese Consumption" needs to be the name of a jam band by the end of this video!
I'm surprised the first sin wasn't "this exists"
Same
It is actually infuriating how little Disney tried with this movie. The effects are sophisticated at best, and offensive at worst. The story seems to be the exact same as the original, but with less stereotypes and more boring. I don't think this was a movie that needed to be made, which could be said for any movie, but this just wasn't the way to do it.
I disagree. I've never grown up with Disney's original adaptation but after seeing clips of it I wouldn't exactly rave about it like everyone else does
I’m surprised not one pissed off disney fan has gone up to the people who made these shitty remakes and called them off or some shit.
The biggest sin is that this sold more tickets then Del Torro’s…
Isn’t del torros in Netflix?
Surprised they didn’t do a Tom Hanks “Wilson!” scream at the end.
I clicked thinking this was about Del Toro's version. I was so confused when the Disney logo showed up and the cricket started singing lol
I've never seen this movie. Don't plan on seeing this movie. Thank you CinemaSins, for making this. Now I definitely don't have to see this movie. But the blue fairy's wings fluttering behind her is super creepy looking, for some reason.
Excellent coverage and fun video, as always, but I think you left some stuff out, namely . . . .
Disney: + 1,000 Rapid-Fire Sins
Disney live-action re-make: + 5,000 Rapid-Fire Sins
Disney doing all these live-action remakes because you don't have to give credit to (or pay royalties to the authors of) the original version, if the original was animated: + 10,000 Rapid-Fire Sins
Seagull doing the "tricking worms up to the surface" dance for any reason other than trying to trick worms to the surface by making them think her pattering feet are raindrops, and doing it on a flagstone instead of unpaved ground: + 1 Sin.
"It's literal horsesh*t" -- What I say when every Disney live-action remake comes out somehow makes it into the CinemaSins commentary. + 1 Sin
Stromboli: Dammit, now I'm hungry. +27 Sins
Taking the beer and smoking out of Pleasure Island, because those were supposed to be CAUTIONARY examples, thereby neutering the whole point of the morality tale: + 42 Sins
Blue bioluminscent algae are definitely a real thing, and it would not be unreasonable to imagine that there were some in all that water Monstro swallowed when he ate the film's protagonists. As much as it pains me to give any credit to Disney at all, especially on matters of biology . . . - 1 Hasty Sin
Monstro redesign: + 1859 Sins
Thank you. When I first saw this movie that was my initial reaction about the smoke monsters and donkeys. It's like the donkeys are what concern you? Lol
When Pinocchio is water skiing with the seagull how the fuck are he and Geppetto hearing each other through such long conversations while being SO far apart?! That part made me actually angry and yelling at the screen
"As a rule of thumb, when someone calls themselves honest. They ain't."
Nervous sweating in Honest Trailer channel.
I love how everyone complained about him for being a brat in the original, and yet they also complained about him NOT being a brat in the remake! Make up your minds, everyone!
And the original is STILL nothing compared to the level of brattiness in the original book
There's a difference between not liking a character but still enjoying because the character still serves a purpose and leads the story, and having a character which loses its characteristics, which makes it neither serve its purpose nor lead the story.
Even Puss In Boots: The Last Wish had a Pinocchio Cameo; 2022 was the Year of Pinocchio for some unknown reason.
Shrek Pinocchio still wins by default
@@LazyOldFusspot_3428WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE, FEARLESS HERO?
@@Water_Me_Loan_64_YT YOU ARE! YOU ARE!
I don't think this is a case of weight ratios any more than of how the bird grips. A 4 pound bird might be able to tow a 10 pound piece of floating wood. But what is the airspeed velocity of a laden seagull? Or the minimum airspeed required to maintain flight?
Which the minimum speed of flights is determined by a number of factors that need to be accounted for as a sufficient head wind will reduce the minimum speed of flight (why aircraft carriers have usually turned in to the wind) as well as any rising air that can potentially create sufficient lift to gain altitude, or even a tail wind that increases the seagull's speed and there for it's ability to tow a 10 pound piece of wood - and we haven't even gotten in to both aerodynamic and hydrodynamic drag Pinocchio generates.
But what about an African seagull?
@@sonjaanderson4074 or two regular seagulls tied together.
@@sonjaanderson4074 African seagulls are non-migtarory.
Please, do the Guillermo Del Toro one! 🙏🏼
With All the clocks, I was expecting "damn it doc I'm late for school"🤣🤣
I’ll admit it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in, but I had to see you kill this one.
I'm really surprised you didn't do a 'root beer' counter for the Pleasure Island scene.
TTS Rogal Dorn: "I suspect Tom Hanks was high on narcotics."
This is some of your best work yet-well done!
Also, if no one has mentioned it yet, I'd like to add a sin for thinking it's ok to take the apple to the teacher after being that close to the horseshit.
Now we know why the teacher kicked Pinocchio out of his school…. for giving him an apple that smells like horses***.
missed the rare opportunity about the 2 mostly hidden people being number 69 and not 70... +2sins to you sir
Does anybody know that "Jiminy Cricket " got smashed with a wooden hammer by Pinocchio in the first chapter, so the hammer at 8:34 does not bode well??
I’m just waiting for the culmination of these three movies:
Pinocchio: No Way Home
As well as the Spider-Man meme with all the Pinocchios pointing at each other!
6:50-6:54 I ordinarily don't laugh at that "Eating an apple makes you an ***hole" joke you make for some reason, but that was actually kinda funny.
I’m surprised the terribleness of the Chris Pine joke didn’t get more than one sin.
"How do you make that very specific sound a fully mechanical process?" Music boxes, my good man. It's a fully metal clockwork system where the "brush" drags over a turning cyllinder of carefully placed and heighted/depthed bumps and dents to produce specific notes. A crow's cawing can be transcribed as musical notes. Thus made onto a music box cyllinder.
That's like saying that since a guitar playing a song can be transcribed as musical notes, I can reproduce that sound on a piano. The piano is never going to sound like a guitar even playing the same notes.
@@CarterDeLeo Which is the exact difference between music boxes/phonograph recorders and instruments.
7:32 extra sin: a metaphor of pinocchio watching his own movie somehow ends up in the script.
Growing a conscience requires, no OBLIGATES one to sin this movie.
15:27 love how Tom Hanks can't be bothered to do an accent for the rest of the movie
Let’s not forget that they also literally stole the “fake lying to get the key and escape” concept from Shrek 2.
"A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound plank of wood."
This is the fastest cinemasins for a movie released on VOD
This movie exists. Ding 1,000,000,000 sins the end. Also you forgot the roll credits sin
Cinema Sins, I love that you caption all the stuff for me. I'm deaf af. Then again, I always forget and click on captions then have to turn them off. Damn your accessibility!
"Oh for the love of Jack and Rose" made me laugh so hard! 🤣🤣
The love for the cast balanced by the absolute disdain for the film itself in this video is amazing.
Now I want to see them sin the Paulie Shore Pinocchio movie.
I hope you do the Netflix one.
I absolutely loved that one.
I’m awarding 1,000 sins for the fact that you haven’t done American Psycho yet. How?
@@sharpsh0tdav1s70 thanks! Cinemasins did Pulp Fiction and that’s rated R?
@@glndreamer Yeah, but he hasn't done Midnight Cowboy yet either.
So Ive been a subscriber/lover of cinema sins for QUITE some time now and first of all I have to say Jeremy you are HILARIOUS!
Could’ve just said “this movie exists”
The soon to be released movie about Cleo the salacious mascara wearing goldfish gave Disney executives more of a woody than this Pinocchio movie.
Y'all don't know how long I've been waiting for this video
Bot
@@aramis4347 what?
@@malachimccarty6270 WILL THE WHOOOOOLE WOOOORLD KNOOOOW YOOOOUR NAAAAAAAAAAME
The only thing I got out of this was “Did not expect the human trafficker to make good points about the education system”
I’m surprised they didn’t sin that there’s no way Geppetto and Pinocchio heard each other when Pinocchio was skiing😝
Jiminy Cricket went to The Prometheus' School of Running Away from Rolling Objects.
These Disney remakes will never end
Sad reality isn't it. Disney are completely clueless.
I believe Pocanhontas may have the potential to be way worse than all we have seen so far
The Monty python reference 😂
“Pinocchio” just wanted to be a *real* movie.
This movie deserves soooo many more sins!
15:18 Monty Python references are always welcome!!!
Why the hell did they replace the beer scene with root beer. The whole point of that scene in the original was for kids not to drink young. This just stupid
[Helen Lovejoy]: WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!!!
Those smoke monster are the things from the ffvii remake that make sure things go the right way
Or it’s probably from that seagull who smokes a lot.
Okay, now do the Pauly Shore one!
One positive thing I found in this movie (maybe the only one) -- Honest John was AMAZINGLY rendered and performed!
2022 was a awesome year for Pinocchio as he had gotten 2 film adaptions!
3* if you count the shitty Pinocchio A True Story
" Donkey roll " from " Popstar. Never stop, never stopping" would have been a good fit for the audio bits at the end
There should've been 100 sins added when they showed that they didn't even bother to do real puppets
Damn you, man. You made choke on a crisp with the Bowser comment! That was quality!
The anthropomorphic fox and cat already looked out of place in the original. Really stupid decision to keep them as even more out of place cgi in this remake instead of just making them shady humans.
Del Toro addressed this problem
The last part the head turning 😂😂😂😂
139 sins feels low for this movie.
Hurray I got my floating bowl of water sin.
My biggest complaint about the clocks would be that they're obviously quite detailed and interesting as individual clocks yet none of them are on the screen long enough or really well lit enough to actually appreciate it. I also don't understand why Disney would go to all that effort creating them if they weren't going to try to sell replicas because I'm sure there's plenty of people who would spend a fortune on a Disney cuckoo clock. At least there is someone out there who made and are selling some different Disney cuckoo clocks (Bradford) which are doing exactly that though they're not as interesting as the ones in the movie.
I'm beginning to understand what happened to Geppetto's original son. He lets what is basically a NEWBORN child wander the streets by himself.