#1 Psychotherapist: “If You See THIS SH*TTY Behavior it’s a Signs He’s Using You…” | Terri Cole

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  • Опубліковано 26 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 331

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  Місяць тому +19

    Thank you to today's sponsor: One Skin: Visit impacttheory.co/oneskinWOIsept and use code WOI for 15% off to make your skin look, feel, and act younger with OneSkin!

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Місяць тому +4

      There’s always somebody better nobody’s the best!!! Remember that always put yourself first and always be willing to walk when you’re being treated bsdly!

    • @medianightowl3885
      @medianightowl3885 Місяць тому

      Hi Lisa, I really wish you’d post your guest’s names in your title. Most of the time I have no idea who you’re interviewing. 🙏

    • @chrystalnorris9630
      @chrystalnorris9630 Місяць тому

      😅

    • @cynthiamerryman
      @cynthiamerryman 24 дні тому

      6:30

  • @lt827
    @lt827 Місяць тому +41

    I have seen toxic people use the “I am not prepared to talk about this right now diversion” in a manipulative way. They take shots at you and when you want to discuss the firestorm they have started, they walk away claiming self-care.

    • @ebrennie
      @ebrennie 5 днів тому

      Eh. That can also be a rather effective and healthy boundary that can do wonders in terms of resolving conflict. I don’t think it helps anyone to try to solve conflict when emotions are high. Walking away from 20 minutes can change the energy, but the key is communicating that. “I need 20. I’m too in my emotions, and I don’t want to say something I don’t mean. So let’s take 20, cool off, and come back to this conversation then. I want to work this out.”
      But yes, toxic people don’t do that. They just do silent treatment and walk away with no communication or sign they intend to pick the topic back up. They did something wrong yet when you ask for accountability (a normal expectation) they employ argumentative gymnastics and word salad to try to turn the tables. It’s like they expect you to forgot.
      And yes, too often “self care” is mistaken for always giving yourself a pass. Sometimes the self care you really need is a trip to the gym instead of meditation, or to finish your work instead of taking a nap, or learning how to confront conflict constructively instead of hoping it will just magically go away, cuz it’s gonna happen in your life no matter what.

  • @higuoy
    @higuoy Місяць тому +20

    A beneficial irony if you you are with a narcissist(diagnosed), is when I became extremely ill, his lack of empathy became so glaring, and since his toy was broke(me), he left. I didn't realize what a blessing my being sick could be.

    • @tanyadepoalo4312
      @tanyadepoalo4312 11 днів тому +1

      My ex N had a party at his vacation rental when I was in the hospital and he slept with some chick that his brother was friends with that he brought over with him for the weekend. I found out several months later, but the entire time I was at home recovering he didn’t come to see me once! What a loser, I’m so glad I’m not with him anymore, 11 years of crazy making bs. I was single for 6 years and then started dating and met another N! 2.5 years with that one and I’m out now. I am not interested in dating anymore. I know there’s good men out there but damn they are few and far between.

  • @sandrakaima
    @sandrakaima Місяць тому +42

    This woman has described me 😢😢😢 I am letting go of being super helpful 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @xolalalo
      @xolalalo Місяць тому +3

      I have always been "super helpful" and it got me taken advantage of. I feel like there should be balance, but...

    • @shannonhopson-p7h
      @shannonhopson-p7h Місяць тому +5

      I'm a narcissist abuse coach. I've been through narcissistic abuse over and over until I finally was able to break the pattern. It's sounds like you are ready to change old patterns 😊. I wish you the very best. You deserve it!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Take Back Your Life And Own It -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️

  • @msfifi8669
    @msfifi8669 Місяць тому +42

    I started so naive in life and I let people use me for decades. I believe I was l searching for closeness, attachment and love , for them it was about ; control and dominance. Fortunately ,I learned as from my experiences and realise my number one job in the world is to look after myself ❤

    • @montarynn
      @montarynn Місяць тому +2

      👏🏾

    • @ebarner1813
      @ebarner1813 23 дні тому +3

      Me too. After taking care of my mother from a young age. Not having long-term relationships with men for most of my adult life. I figured there was something inherently wrong with me. Now after a 22 year marriage where I was discounted, emotionally abused and my emotions devalued. I’m leaving to take care of my precious self, my soul and my God-given life. May we all be free to be who we were created to be.

    • @msfifi8669
      @msfifi8669 23 дні тому +1

      @@ebarner1813 bravo!!! Never too late . Enjoy the rest of your free, peaceful, liberating lifestyle.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому +1

      Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Take Back Your Life Own It -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Why Didn't You See The Red Flags? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому +1

      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
      Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter avoidant attachment
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞
      Avoidant Attachment

  • @kikijames7925
    @kikijames7925 Місяць тому +49

    Ugh FINALLY. I understand myself so much better thanks to this interview. Not only am I empathic, which I struggle with, because I am constantly feeling way too much. But I had also been in long-term relationships with narcissists. Through therapy, I found out I am a high-functioning codependent. My exes would tell me I was a perfectionist and controlling, but they let me do all the work. I was okay with scheduling their agendas and appointments and ensuring they got to work on time. I also do this for my family. I worry about my sister's children if she's feeding them the right foods. I even buy my sister's dog food because I don't like the one she buys, and she HAS A HUSBAND! I worry about my parents and if they're going to their doctors. I am the family manager, as they all call me. I am single now and have taken five or six years to truly understand myself and stop sacrificing my happiness to please others, even when they don't ask for it. I related to everything Terri said. Thank you for this, Lisa & Terri.

    • @SoulBeauty1111
      @SoulBeauty1111 Місяць тому +2

      Yep!!

    • @veronicakiwanuka247
      @veronicakiwanuka247 28 днів тому +1

      Me too

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞
      5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞
      Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Take Your Life Back Own It - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

  • @anamaez5047
    @anamaez5047 Місяць тому +27

    She is soooooooo good explaining things!! Great interview thanks Lisa YOU ROCK!!!

  • @lisaleebb
    @lisaleebb Місяць тому +18

    I don’t think I have ever felt this seen… this was extremely powerful. I have preordered the book and looking forward to getting to the other side! Keep doing these amazing interviews, Lisa. Life changing. 💕

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  Місяць тому +6

      Oh I’m so pleased it helped!!! Thank you for being here homie 😍

    • @dannirabbit
      @dannirabbit 7 днів тому

      What book?

  • @Secretsauce114
    @Secretsauce114 Місяць тому +45

    Her Book Boundary Boss helped me so much to find myself when I was going through divorce. This was such a good interview!

  • @monalise6079
    @monalise6079 Місяць тому +16

    I recall E. Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel infererior without your consent."

    • @denisedenise9530
      @denisedenise9530 22 дні тому +2

      This assumes you know what it is like to feel good. If you are not treated well as a child , you don’t know what it is.
      Blame the victim is mean

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      A Low Effort Man Thinks You'll Wait Forever - Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞
      5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men -;Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞
      5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞
      Self Love To Self Healing Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Women That Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter - avoidant attachment
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
      Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

    • @tanyadepoalo4312
      @tanyadepoalo4312 11 днів тому

      I don’t like general statements like that. It may seem “profound” but it’s really narrow and doesn’t take in to account all aspects of life and situations.

  • @gabrielleaumont3971
    @gabrielleaumont3971 Місяць тому +8

    Beautiful, sensible program. Thank you, ladies. Shout it from the rooftops!!

  • @tinkereyeskelly9437
    @tinkereyeskelly9437 Місяць тому +7

    Alot of this is degrading kindness
    Kindness opens doors , dialogue, conversation,. But its about balance. About your giving n taking .

  • @Lore788
    @Lore788 Місяць тому +99

    Codependency and narcissism is a match made in heaven, will eventually turn into a match made in hell.😱 Unlearning and learning. Thank you, for another great message!🙏❤️🥰

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Ken Reid clinician, Sam Vaknin PhD, and David Tian PhD have informative podcasts on attachment styles and other topics. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      (avoidant attachment)

    • @Lore788
      @Lore788 Місяць тому +1

      @@SherriFlemming Avoidant style , learning and unlearning.🙏🥰

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +4

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Why Does He Do That! by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

    • @Lore788
      @Lore788 Місяць тому

      @@SherriFlemmingThank, you!😻

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      @@Lore788 You're very welcome! All the best.

  • @175Boomer
    @175Boomer Місяць тому +5

    I think I have watch this 4 times!! Got her book and ready to recover!!!

  • @p.s.6674
    @p.s.6674 Місяць тому +6

    This is so helpful. I've gone through life with this mentality. I believed I attracted this type of person. I need to set aside my ego and realize that I'm attracted to those situations because of how I can feel helpful and wanted and needed. I'm trying to learn how to stop this cycle that ends up with me feeling like my cup is empty from giving so much and feeling depleted, misunderstood, and alone. This was so very insightful and inspiring! Thank you Lisa and Terry!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 18 днів тому

      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Self Love To Self Healing by Sam Vaknin ♥️
      Take Back Your Life Own It-Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin attachment styles
      Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
      Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

  • @SittingPrettyH2T
    @SittingPrettyH2T 7 днів тому +1

    This is by far the most helpful interview I’ve ever watched in my LIFE! I feel seen to the core 😮‍💨

  • @kyleegarcia5569
    @kyleegarcia5569 Місяць тому +4

    I’m a lot better about only worrying about myself, but obviously the responsibility of running our life/household is different. That makes me completely overwhelmed regularly.

  • @silviaconjar1184
    @silviaconjar1184 Місяць тому +8

    amazing, authentic, great conversation thank you so much

  • @AnnieHeart-o5b
    @AnnieHeart-o5b Місяць тому +5

    Amazing. Thank you both. This one I have to watch a few times. Love love love

  • @mb-sk4tq
    @mb-sk4tq 10 днів тому +1

    The entire podcast was so compelling. Thank you for sharing this conversation.

  • @nicoles_luv
    @nicoles_luv Місяць тому +7

    Moving into 'life light' became absolutely devastating for me 💔 It killed my spirit and the world was gray. I am grateful that through hard work and discipline, I can feel and be present in my life. It is the most full I've ever been.

  • @shravyanadig1651
    @shravyanadig1651 25 днів тому +2

    my favourite guest, every line she says makes so much sense!

  • @tq325
    @tq325 Місяць тому +5

    Terry Cole gives such solid advice ❤ I loved this interview!

  • @kath-29
    @kath-29 16 днів тому +1

    Lisa, intermittent fasting, reduced carbs, and a daily 30 minute walk have helped my perimenopause symptoms tremendously!
    Great interview! Thank you 🙏🏻

  • @shellshelly5552
    @shellshelly5552 Місяць тому +14

    Thank you Lisa and Terri! You’re both fabulous.❤

  • @oliviasmit2657
    @oliviasmit2657 Місяць тому +3

    Amazing women !! Amazing information and inspiring insights ❤ Thank You

  • @czhanell
    @czhanell Місяць тому +19

    This is soooo good! Thank you so much

  • @cindyestrada2009
    @cindyestrada2009 Місяць тому +7

    I stopped myself from caring the minute a man just recently was hung over an ex drinking and gaslighting me so fast i was like this is not funny im so strong i dont care for being in danger i will protect myself at all costs forever

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      👍
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud.
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Indeed. RUN Forrest RUN!
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.
      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.

  • @sarahkercheval8964
    @sarahkercheval8964 Місяць тому +5

    I love Lisa but I rly hate that she has to put up with her husband’s porn addiction publicly 😢 she’s not setting a good standard for women and the crap we have to put up with just to stay with a man in 2024.

  • @momione11
    @momione11 Місяць тому +20

    It feels too good to be true. On that love bombing. Which I'm not used to. But was flattered. After a while, stress came. Then I got really sick. My body and soul got weaker and weaker. He got better. While I got worse. Then never any real conversations. Became poor. Because I like conversations before a lot of bullshit. Been concentrating on myself. Getting well. See what I needed to heal. Also see why I fell for this. But promised myself never to leave in too quickly. But take my time. No pressure from external factors. Then I have to go from there. But my motto is to never end up where I was. Many times the focus is on the narcissist. But have I put all my energy on myself. Took years to get out of this and see what it was rooted in. Got to see myself. I needed the narc to see myself and my worth.

    • @amymayrose6210
      @amymayrose6210 Місяць тому +3

      I had the love bombing as well and I was also flattered so I understand. I'd attracted a narc and lost who I was and my energy. I got sick for months so bad that I was in and out of hospital. Thats when I saw who he really was, he seamed happier in himself. He would laugh or try not to laugh or smile smugly when I was saying how much pain I was in. Once I was home he would constantly text me asking how I was everyday. I started to notice he was really happy and upbeat on the days I was struggling the most. So I asked him to stop asking me how I was everyday due to it annoying me. He would still continue to ask me, so I wouldn't answer him. He promised that we would go out for a meal once I was better but I knew it was a lie. Narcissist dont love, they only love to cause pain though their lies, and absolutely love to see us in physical pain. Though I'm grateful I got sick as I saw him for the evil narc he is. I left him, as I knew if he had been sick or ill I'd have done food shopping, cleaned, cooked, pick him up from the hospital, and not been happily smug!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles and other topics. 🌞
      Sam Vaknin PhD, and David Tian PhD have educational podcasts.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachments)
      Avoidant attachments are common in the dating pool.
      Both genders.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Adversity can be overcome!
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- IMAGO
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin (attachment styles)
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter (avoidant attachment)
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 🌞
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Should We Live Together 5 Things To Consider With Men Over 40 - Jonathon Aslay podcast.
      The Gottman's are the leading experts in couples counselling.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. 🌞
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      I HearYou by Michael Sorenson .
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      In todays world verify everything. Fact check Dating requires detective skills. Discernment. A background check is essential. Check their digital footprint. A complete stranger can say anything.
      Don't collect red flags and dealbreakers.
      Trust needs to be earned and requires proof.
      Always pay attention to your intuition and situational awareness.
      Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast
      Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record.

  • @pearljantjies2562
    @pearljantjies2562 29 днів тому +1

    Thank u Lisa. Love you. Great podcast. Beautiful guest. So eloquent and gracious

  • @marleyofficialmedia
    @marleyofficialmedia Місяць тому +6

    "Wheres my parade? Wheres my medal?" Had me laughing. Love the sense of humour 👌 😄

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Місяць тому +4

    When I heard the story about Terri's sister I fully agree with Terri's therapist that her sister needed to be the hero of her life because I want to say this next part with respect I don't want to offend anyone but from personal experience if someone always rescues you, someone always comes into your life and has to save you and rearrange everything (as much as this is potentially done by someone as Terri says in fear of harm coming to you which perhaps people mistake fear of something happening to you for for love perhaps) but I'm just saying from personal experience with this kind of thing as the person who has been rescued and taken care of in the past you actually are harbouring resentment towards loved ones because you start feeling inadequate. Inadequate because you feel like someone wouldnt have to do that if you could actually do the thing you needed to do and you will feel like a failure in life. A failure because if you feel you cant do anything about your life it damages the self confidence of your ability to pull yourself together. What all this does it actually makes you feel you are dependent on others for your own safety and security, and for me, that was a scary feeling. My mind went straight to I don't want to be dependent, I don't want my life to be in someone else's hands and going back to Lisa's point you will be the woman who starts saying I can carry my own bags because the fear is there that because someone you felt in your past saw you as Inadequate now you have to be independent and strong.
    Plus, you get the feeling off the people or person(s) who are doing this "help" that it's not always coming from a good place especially when you can tell they're tired of you. You can either see it in their face or they'll tell you straight.
    "I'm tired of having to be the person who has to look out for you. I have problems of my own, you know." Or, "where's your gratitude for what I'm doing?"
    Because I'm aware this video is all centred about people doing things because they don't want bad things to happen and their mindset but its like they're going to do it anyway without you actually asking for help. It's not that you're not grateful you just want to make decisions in your life that are yours because its a bit different if you asking for help, otherwise, even though you can see what they are doing is perhaps the right thing to do a part of you is thinking but I'm not asking for help so why are they taking it out on me?
    Because after listening to a speech from someone like that especially someone you love not only is it painful you're left with the fear you're going to loose the support from your loved ones at an already emotional and difficult time.
    Plus, because the danger of other people coming on in and doing things in your life could make you start to think I can't do it. I can't do anything and the second you believe that where your thoughts dominate - any fight in you starts getting lost instead of finding a source of strength and pushing forward to essentially being the hero of your life, because when you start feeling desperate where you're constantly telling yourself you can't and that other people can that fear will keep you there permanently.

  • @daysleepnightread6905
    @daysleepnightread6905 12 днів тому

    Very grateful for your show Lisa. Thank you
    for being real and relatable.

  • @StKrane
    @StKrane Місяць тому +6

    Thank you so much. I love how there was so much information, kindness and honesty in your conversation. I learned a lot and will keep up with considering myself (self-abandonment can go f itself). Thanks!

  • @elephantintheroom5678
    @elephantintheroom5678 Місяць тому +18

    What is often left out of these discussions is what to do when the man simply won't play along with your clearly set boundaries. You must have the strength to face reality and to walk away, even if you are already enmeshed in a family.

    • @islandgirlxx3465
      @islandgirlxx3465 Місяць тому +6

      Your self-respect should be bigger than your feelings for a man.
      "I'll lose you before I lose me."

    • @marleyofficialmedia
      @marleyofficialmedia Місяць тому +4

      Setting a boundary vs maintaining a boundary

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      👍 Indeed, a powerful woman can walk away. Self respect, self love, standing in your power, speaking your truth for your own sovereignty without sugar coating anything.
      Boundaries are your dealbreakers. Accountability and consequences.
      Standards boundaries a backbone and a BS detector weeds out manipulators and opportunists.
      If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, then they dont care about you.Trust needs to be earned. It requires proof.
      Truly powerful people don't need to explain why they want respect. They simply refuse to engage with anyone that doesn't give it to them.
      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated
      podcast
      ( avoidant attachment )
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool
      No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear

    • @Cessamina
      @Cessamina Місяць тому +7

      I completely agree. There are times when, even after setting boundaries, the other person continues to ignore and cross them. I had to physically relocate with my children to find peace because of this.

    • @elephantintheroom5678
      @elephantintheroom5678 Місяць тому +2

      @@Cessamina All the best.

  • @millaspuffs6744
    @millaspuffs6744 Місяць тому +13

    Such amazing conversation 🙏💛

  • @TheErika711
    @TheErika711 Місяць тому +3

    As a current member of 12 step codependents anonymous (that is saving my life) I'm looking extremely forward to her book

  • @Ingrafre
    @Ingrafre Місяць тому +6

    Wow, she looks like a filmstar from old hollywood!

  • @helenamarhounova1120
    @helenamarhounova1120 Місяць тому +2

    1.20 minute of this show and I just love Terri, how she start to cry, wow touch my heart, she is just amazing person, Lisa too, I have learned so much and improve my life like 180 because Lisa podcast and Terri, ladies you're just wonderful, I love you,

  • @huyhritter1724
    @huyhritter1724 Місяць тому +61

    Thanks to this channel's guidance, I've simplified my finances, gained control, and now earn a significant $33,000+ weekly. This clarity brings me peace, freedom, and confidence to live intentionally.

    • @KuramaUchiha-id1ow
      @KuramaUchiha-id1ow Місяць тому +9

      Massive! Been trying to trade on my own for a while now, but it isn't going well. few months ago I lost about $8,500 in the trade. Can you please at least advise me on what to do?

    • @huyhritter1724
      @huyhritter1724 Місяць тому +6

      @@KuramaUchiha-id1owMaria Angelina Alexander I really appreciate her efforts and transparency.

    • @huyhritter1724
      @huyhritter1724 Місяць тому

      Giving her my initial savings of $12,000 to invest in a brokerage account was a turning point in my life. It's been an incredibly rewarding experience and the best decision I ever made!

    • @amalmberg13
      @amalmberg13 Місяць тому

      This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. I receive this for my household.🙏

    • @JoanneBrookes
      @JoanneBrookes Місяць тому

      One key to successful investing is acknowledging that ups and downs are part of the journey. No investment is guaranteed to succeed all the time; instead, it’s about managing risk and capitalizing on opportunities. The goal is to achieve a higher rate of return than the losses incurred, which often means maintaining a long-term perspective and not being swayed by short-term fluctuations.

  • @gracescoglietti583
    @gracescoglietti583 12 днів тому

    Thankful for teaching me these topics, i absolutely relate on these subjects, surely empowering, thankful Lisa & Terri for your gift while moving forward on my life journey ❤

  • @anniesherburne2983
    @anniesherburne2983 Місяць тому +4

    my man refused to talk to me, won't communicate . has now disappeared , blaming me! AND he was seeing someone else. that's where the conversation didn't happen, he refused

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 28 днів тому +1

      You're worth more than this! What you do matters most of all.♥️
      He's embarrassed he was caught. It's his ego.
      You're not responsible for his behavior.
      Please don't take him back if he returns.
      Rejection is protection. Stand in your power!
      Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast
      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician, Sam Vaknin PhD and David Tian PhD have educational podcasts on attachment styles and other topics
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast
      (avoidant attachment)
      Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Up To You How People Treat You Change Your Messaging Signaling - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
      Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Take Back Your Life Own It - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

    • @mikimiki6202
      @mikimiki6202 19 днів тому

      Happening right now

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 19 днів тому

      @@mikimiki6202 What are you doing to do?

    • @mikimiki6202
      @mikimiki6202 19 днів тому

      ​@SherriFlemming trying to get help in therapy to break trauma bond. Just passed the 20 yr mark. I'm devastated

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 17 днів тому

      ​​@@mikimiki6202 This is challenging. You've got this.!
      Stand in your power and speak your truth without sugar coating anything Breaking the cycle is what counts. You matter most of all♥️.
      Health and safety is wealth. 🌞
      Sending you the light. 🙏🌞

  • @PropheticCoachTheresa
    @PropheticCoachTheresa Місяць тому +2

    Seems like in some form or another the HFC designation could do right after the title "woman." Getting these boundaries are so important. I've figured it out with men, hence I am single. But now trying to help combative, defiant mother in early dementia a whole other level of this is showing up in my life. Not always easy to navigate this, but very very necessary. Tough topic, thanks for the wisdom and insight.

  • @sarahcouture24
    @sarahcouture24 Місяць тому +2

    I love that you call out Nancy Regan for that just say no bs! Haha

  • @elainec5333
    @elainec5333 Місяць тому +3

    We’re all of it. We’re all codependent, narcissistic, stupid, selfish, self reverent, used, using, etc.

  • @mw7882
    @mw7882 Місяць тому +3

    Codependents are assigned a low value and a mentality that everyone else is more important and must be saved at all cost. It is a requirement for "love" in a narcistic household but they all hate you in the end once they are up and running well.

  • @cathyjennings5580
    @cathyjennings5580 26 днів тому +1

    Thanks SO MUCH for your knowledge and time for Us women. & Seniors (vulnerable desperate for affection & adoration, attention , ATTENTION from
    a charming smooth talkers friendly and warm hospitality to every neighbor, acquaintances!!!! 😅😊😊.

  • @kamhair101
    @kamhair101 Місяць тому +2

    This is so true and so helpful ….

  • @pegahshahbaz9550
    @pegahshahbaz9550 Місяць тому +6

    Thank you.

  • @preetsrivastava7970
    @preetsrivastava7970 20 днів тому

    she is experienced and wise. wonderful session. having had narcissistic asian parents, this was a good listen

  • @lilymalm7488
    @lilymalm7488 28 днів тому

    Hi Lisa! I’ve loved your channel for many years and it has in many ways redirected my life for the better❤ As a lesbian, however, I don’t see myself represented and feel left out as being queer adds another layer of complications to dating and relationships. It’s especially isolating because I had a pretty bad coming out experience, which can really complicate attachment patterns and communication. Could you invite some queer guests? It would really make a difference. Thank you and keep up the good work❤

  • @DeliaCamolina
    @DeliaCamolina Місяць тому +2

    Thank you both so much I admire you both….

  • @angelpandadaylane4924
    @angelpandadaylane4924 Місяць тому +4

    1:03:42 I validate myself with my me-days.

  • @SueORourke
    @SueORourke День тому

    This makes so much sense for my life. Now I have a name for it all. 😢

  • @casperinsight3524
    @casperinsight3524 Місяць тому +1

    Eye opening conversation here 👀

  • @suekremelberg7644
    @suekremelberg7644 29 днів тому

    Awesome podcast!! Thank you so much!! Love it!!❤

  • @bookbeing
    @bookbeing 11 днів тому

    This is an amazing talk!❤.

  • @erikahyman8611
    @erikahyman8611 Місяць тому +12

    This is so me. I have work to do. Thank you for sharing & teaching us that we can heal & that there is another way. A healthier way to use our energy. I always want to help. To be the hero. I need to let people navigate their own lives.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      @@erikahyman8611
      .
      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachment men.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      @@erikahyman8611
      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Sorenson
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 Місяць тому +2

    I was starting to worry that she’s saying not to tell people that they’re in a bad place because when people do that then maybe she doesn’t know she’s in a bad place and a bad relationship. Definitely let them know but after that, you can’t keep hounding them.!!

  • @ax7su954
    @ax7su954 11 днів тому

    Oo soo true all. Thank you! 😊

  • @chrisnam1603
    @chrisnam1603 Місяць тому +4

    Fibro, CFS, all of them & more... never ending stress - fear - not at ease... due to narc mother etc... i recognize all this amazing lady says, and what many nice people write here too... realising it is first step (took me SO long)... to 'see' how cruel she really is, bless you & Lisa for all this, from Belgium♥ 'olympic sports walking on egg shells' gosh so well said 😢

  • @woboznz
    @woboznz Місяць тому +5

    I have a friend who i cant tell if she's an HFC or narc... more like a LFC. i think im a hfc although in progress of healing and so im finding her very challenging to keep as a friend despite really wanting to

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That
      Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments

  • @jessicacerkoney
    @jessicacerkoney Місяць тому +10

    This is exactly where I’m at right now. Such a great and informative interview. I wish there was a shift in the titles of these podcasts. When I share this on FB, for example, I sometimes the video titles make me feel insecure about sharing. I wish the titles and thumbnails reflected the heart of the conversation more than bordering on clickbait.
    Thank you for having these vulnerable conversations so that we can also learn and grow 🌱❤️

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  Місяць тому +17

      Hey hey thanks for this very constructive feedback! Appreciate it soooo much! I totally hear you on the Title situation. And as I’m always so transparent I will say that it’s a tough balance. If I title it something that won’t get clicks then UA-cam would never have served you the video. But I never want to be misleading or click bait. So there’s a razor line that I skate on a weekly basis! But this type of feedback is helping me and the channel and this amazing community so please do keep letting me know your thoughts! I am listening 😍🥰💪🙌

    • @jessicacerkoney
      @jessicacerkoney Місяць тому +4

      @@LisaBilyeu I appreciate you!! Thank you 🙏 ❤️

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      @@LisaBilyeu Lisa thank you for having such informative guests and producing such great shows! Bless you.❤️

  • @CeciledeLuire
    @CeciledeLuire 16 днів тому +2

    that high functioning codependents want to control the outcome does not get the heart of codependency in my opinion.
    *codependency in my opinion is the FEAR to AGAIN NOT BE LOVED, and the try to get loved by adapting. why? because adapting to the caregivers was the way to survive as kids.*
    because of this search for love, the *way* unhealed codependents choose is to adapt and and this way to hopefully finally get this long missed love. it is not about control. it is about love. unfortunately, as long as there is no healing, often codependents look for love in the wrong people - in people that are similar to their caregivers; and the wrong way to find love: always adapting instead of speaking up for themselves.

  • @moongoddess45
    @moongoddess45 Місяць тому +3

    This woman is amazing~!! Dr Terry is so down to earth and revealing her own HFC, made me see my own, holy shit.

  • @vaishalivaidya7978
    @vaishalivaidya7978 Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for this conversation 😊

  • @shellshelly5552
    @shellshelly5552 Місяць тому +2

    Ohhhhhhh right On!!!!!!!!

  • @malikasaba9659
    @malikasaba9659 Місяць тому

    Great. Simply great! Thank you sooo much for this interview!! I don t feel as beeing a codependent in general. But yes...in certain situations I get activated in that direction, I suppose. Mostly in intimate relationsships. Very good advice here!

  • @trudiegordon6327
    @trudiegordon6327 Місяць тому

    Love the way this lady explains it.

  • @ExecutiveZombie
    @ExecutiveZombie Місяць тому +9

    Thank you Terry Cole. 🙏🏽Fantastic necklace. 🫡

  • @junelledembroski9183
    @junelledembroski9183 Місяць тому +15

    Awww crap. This is me

    • @KarenWorthinton
      @KarenWorthinton Місяць тому +4

      Oh girl it hit me in the first sentence out of her mouth-so more information for me to heal & you!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
      Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated
      podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Місяць тому +1

    Yeah, okay, I do get there are people out there who are extreme people pleasers, but I strongly see how they could be viewed as narcissists if they're trying to control outcomes from other people. I do recommend that instead of trying to control other people, focus on what you can control in your life, which are your actions and how you show up in life because otherwise your happiness depends on others to create a harmony in the world and that's not what is going to happen. The less time you worry about other people and focus on yourself the better of a life you will lead. You actually create more chaos when you're meddling in other people's affairs, and there's a strong chance it's going to come back on you and you're going to look bad, let other people sort themselves out and if they don't get along, they don't get along, it happens. As long as nothing directly impacts you don't get involved. You'll be acussed of stirring the pot, going backwards and forwards from people because essentially you will be saying to that other person what the previous person is saying abd it's going to blow up in your face. Then people pleasers are going to feel a whole lot worse. My husband used to say things to me, leave things alone, don't get involved, let them sort it out its nothing to do with you, and he's right. People pleasers could end up losing both friends

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
      Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts.
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachments)
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

  • @kearabaggio7448
    @kearabaggio7448 Місяць тому +1

    I love what Terri offers however what is she talking about when she implies it’s over accommodating co-dependency when you are considerate, efficient, receptive, thoughtful enough to suggest the customer behind you in the checkout line can go ahead of you (if they have 1 item and you are unloading your 10 items in an “15 item express lane checkout”. Girl the “right” & thoughtful thing to do is to ask if they’d like to go ahead of you, cuz they’ll be out of there probably before you finish unloading lol! This is NOT over accommodating co-dependence to keep things moving efficiently and conducive. When you become more self-aware you pick up on these things. It comes down to your intentions, if your intention is to do it cuz that’s what you’ve been taught and it’s not authentic & genuine from your heart for you to do that sort of considerate action then it’s done at the abandonment of your truth and for approval then that’s co-dependency. It would be nice if she elaborated on this “accommodating” aspect weighing in on the intention of it. Thank you ❤️🙌🏽🤗

  • @WildAntics13
    @WildAntics13 Місяць тому +3

    After the French viral story ! Married and he’s using her wife for her own pleasures! I don’t think im convinced more than ever that men can love! Even the good guy can betrayed! Men can keep secrets unlike women!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts.
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud

    • @WildAntics13
      @WildAntics13 Місяць тому

      @@SherriFlemming no matter what they say about attachment a lot of men can’t really love women they openly admit on that! I read books about psyche of men! Even your husbands is the most dangerous man in your life! And women is so delusional about love and attachment! Evil exists! Even in the most good loving Christian man i know! If women can’t accept that truth we will always fall for these men! Who literally just using women. Do you think your husband will invest time money on you and provide for you. If you’re no good for him! ???? Read the book what men don’t want you to know! And you will see. That their brain is literally different from women! Even attachment don’t grow on them unless you’re useful for them! these married women still think of fairy tales when the truth is those husbands will betrayed given the right circumstances! No wonder God made Eve because he knows these men can’t be trusted with his creation! They literally destroyed our planet

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker,🌞
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Toxic Parents by Susan Forward

  • @tinkereyeskelly9437
    @tinkereyeskelly9437 Місяць тому +1

    Jaw chewing is repressed anger. Which can be from any situation in a lifetime.. childhood too.

  • @lovedove2661
    @lovedove2661 Місяць тому +2

    What does she mean by cortisol. I noticed that every time I get into a relationship, I put on weight. Why? I dont eat more.

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  Місяць тому +1

      I actually JUST did an interview that I released last week that literally explains this in detail. It with the guest Dr Cassie Means. It’s so good and explains it all! Hope that helps! 🙌

    • @lovedove2661
      @lovedove2661 Місяць тому +1

      @@LisaBilyeu Thank you heading there now.

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Місяць тому

    By telling the truth it cam deepen relationships and build deeper connections but I agree with Brene Brown's work when she says look before you made that vulnerability jump because by sharing it to the wrong person who doesn't understand has a black and white rigid mindset you're now further into the shame. If you feel safe with this person, that they really care about you and don't tend to judge and you make that vulnerability leap you will deepen that relationship 💯

  • @mercychemomenyi1231
    @mercychemomenyi1231 Місяць тому +3

    Timely, thanks Lisa.

  • @sugarblaze8227
    @sugarblaze8227 26 днів тому +1

    Soo me. Everything mentioned in this programe fits me to a T..... And i dont know how to stop..... And you realise people know they can depend on you no matter what a sacrifice you have to make and it is soo sooo insanly hurtful giving every drop of yourself to a man that does not even blink at what it took for you to do that... While he flirts and enjoys the attention of other women that to him seem far superior to what and who i am. That is sad..... Ugly betty coming through.... That is how i feel.... Knowing i am only good for certain things.

  • @tanyadepoalo4312
    @tanyadepoalo4312 11 днів тому

    I relate to this very much

  • @donatabur2721
    @donatabur2721 Місяць тому

    Very helpful ❤Thanks ❤

  • @elephantintheroom5678
    @elephantintheroom5678 Місяць тому

    Wow, she really knows how to present herself very well. I wish I was as skilled at that.

  • @RosaValeriee
    @RosaValeriee Місяць тому +1

    awesome!!

  • @trudiegordon6327
    @trudiegordon6327 Місяць тому +1

    What is this lady's name she is incredible. She has nailed it.

  • @CamilleDavia
    @CamilleDavia Місяць тому +1

    full support

  • @elephantintheroom5678
    @elephantintheroom5678 Місяць тому +1

    I recognise myself in that sink story.

  • @reneehaynes8289
    @reneehaynes8289 Місяць тому +9

    If he's breathing he's using you 😂

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      I Hear You by Michael Singer
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud

    • @kimberley1235
      @kimberley1235 Місяць тому

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @JorgeFidelia
    @JorgeFidelia Місяць тому

    this video format suits me a lot

  • @cygnusrays
    @cygnusrays Місяць тому +4

    How do I make the fear go away? The terror at setting boundaries is irrational, and every time I'm faced with the situation of someone 'pushing it', my response is to almost faint.
    Recently I listened to a science lecture recently on parasites (Lyme, Toxo etc..)how they can weaken not only the immune system but a persons ability to set boundaries.
    My question is can a parasitic infestation take total control of some who already sets strong boundaries, or are those who were already 'damaged' more vulnerable?
    I've had enough of literal and metaphorical parasites and want to reclaim my power. How does one do this when they can't afford professional help?..

    • @marleyofficialmedia
      @marleyofficialmedia Місяць тому +2

      Its okay to be afraid. Setting and maintaining boundaries is scary. But how can you push through your fear (courage) and do it anyways?
      I practice setting/maintaining boundaries in a role play setting.. it helps me.
      Much love.

    • @cygnusrays
      @cygnusrays Місяць тому +2

      @@marleyofficialmedia Thank you. I'm about to face my problem 'boundary pusher' person in around 45min! I've been role playing with my housemate, have written down what needs to be said... deep breaths.. What I can't live with is myself if I don't speak up, just too uncomfortable to live with being a pushover, WAY too uncomfortable. 😧

    • @marleyofficialmedia
      @marleyofficialmedia Місяць тому +2

      @@cygnusrays you're very brave! And I'm wishing you well. ❤

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +2

      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk.
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.

    • @cygnusrays
      @cygnusrays Місяць тому +1

      @@SherriFlemming Thank you ❣

  • @cathyjennings5580
    @cathyjennings5580 26 днів тому

    Interdependence 50 / 50 reciprocal actions desired. Preferences. Loving-kindness vs. Fake, belittling KINDNESS IS FALSE. LEADS TO FIBROMYALGIA MUSCLE TENSION ( PAINFUL Sensations darting around the body. Overalert, tension / muscle tension pains . Cause sadness, stress, headaches, neck aches, BACK ACHES, WHOLE BODY PAINS, SORESNESS,. 😢😢😢😢😢

  • @musicmoviesandmediaworldsnt126
    @musicmoviesandmediaworldsnt126 Місяць тому +5

    do you think being or feeling over responsible is a form or branch of autism ? because it is almost abnormal ?

    • @donnawoodford8145
      @donnawoodford8145 Місяць тому +3

      Idk, but it may be a learned response to trauma.🤔

    • @MMMC-z8y
      @MMMC-z8y Місяць тому +5

      @@donnawoodford8145 This ⬆⬆ Abusers train you into taking responsibility for everything even when its nothing to do with you.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +3

      ​​@@MMMC-z8y Indeed. You totally get it!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +1

      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)The dating pool has a large population of avoidant attachments
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Henry Cloud
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

  • @justinanorwath3847
    @justinanorwath3847 Місяць тому

    Not all narcisissts are great at sex because my ex never wanted sex nor any kind of intimacy and he didn't love bombed me either so not all narcisisstic men are the same like she said her ex was to her.

  • @mikimiki6202
    @mikimiki6202 19 днів тому

    Did this women just describe me from jump😯

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Місяць тому

    I'd actually be quite mad at someone who's trying to people please with someone I don't get along with because it would take a lot from me to have nothing to do with another person in the past, or for me now having strong boundaries for behaviours im not going to stand. That people pleaser would come across to me as a flying monkey and getting involved in something they ought to leave well alone. If they started saying, "but so and so didn't mean it. You know what they're like..." I'd feel upset shocked they're taking that other persons side who I'm not talking to and I'd have to really consider someone who's trying to get in the middle of us as someone who I want to spend less time with because I know I can't change their mind if they want something to do with this other person. I might say they've pushed me too far and to leave it. This is where these people pleasers resemble a snake in the grass. The way I'd see it as you're either on my side or not, but I'm not going to waste my energy on someone trying to convince you someone is awful because they're obviously going to go back to them and then I'd have it my head they're going to be gossiping about me.
    I can even understand the people pleaser dynamic and the desire for people to get a long and want to be friends with everyone but if someone has done you wrong or done your best mate wrong why would you even want to be associated with that person?
    I'm very selective when it comes to obtaining a new friend. If they upset certain people who are my true friends or my husband, it's an immediate deal breaker.

  • @tinkereyeskelly9437
    @tinkereyeskelly9437 Місяць тому

    Men too.

  • @AddieTerriri
    @AddieTerriri Місяць тому +107

    read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

    • @woboznz
      @woboznz Місяць тому +1

      @@AddieTerriri like what?

    • @laura-zo4ry
      @laura-zo4ry Місяць тому

      ​@@woboznzthese are bot comments, ignore

  • @Claire-cj6nn
    @Claire-cj6nn Місяць тому +5

    Been taking care of my family from the day I was born.. untill they all died.
    There wasn't anybody else to do that. Sometimes you are unlucky and life brings burden you cannot escape. Like when you need to take care of fysically or mentally ill people. Anyway I can't do that anymore. Reciprocal relationships or non.. These days, that is hard to find.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Yes. Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality reciprocity. A two lane street. Mutual
      effort Partnership.
      Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles.
      Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast
      ( avoidant attachment)
      There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.
      8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
      Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis
      The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Boundaries by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie
      Facing Codependency by Pia Melody
      I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
      What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
      Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
      Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman
      The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
      The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

  • @Samantha-gm8kv
    @Samantha-gm8kv 19 днів тому

    Good to onow its codependency in some dituations, but also alot of the peiple who deal with this afe just normal attachment that get caught in a web pf confusion because they wpildnt do that to someone. Sometimes knowing theres nothing wrong with you is a good way to break free. Not yet another thing that needs to be fixed to make the relationship work ..."oh if i wasnt so codependant fhe relationship will ne better." Dont fool for it, accept and grow. Yes descern red flags, but its not your fault, you were tricked and you simply didnt know. We sre all codependant for survival in a way, we love our pwrtner that makes us attached to them, that in anyway is codependant. Not disagreeing with this lady just pointing out its not you at the same time. Its good to know how quixkly you can get attached. You need your own vision and schedule so you can easily srt boundaries and aay no to things.

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Місяць тому

    Lisa,good person