That last point is 100% true for me. I'm much more concerned with making her happy. Having her do nice things for me is great because it shows effort on her part. However, I get a big boost to my sense of masculinity when she's satisfied with my efforts to make her smile.
So true, I feel the same and I've seen other men feel the same too. When you read the roles of the husband and wife in the Bible, there also seems to be that lean/bent there. Of course it has to be mutual, but overall a man feels like a man when he's providing and helping his family, not the other way around :)
Yeah. Men don’t get pregnant and give birth then breast feed so what the fuckkk good are they if they don’t do the shopping and provide some food for their OWN kids:).
#1 is spot on. Boundaries in a relationship are extremely important. My last girlfriend did not see the importance of having proper boundaries with the opposite sex. It eventually contributed to our split. In fact, somehow another man got her number and was able to steal her away from me while we were going through some issues. He wasn't even a Christian! Allowing other men, especially those who aren't saved, to speak into a woman's issues and form intimacy will make women less intimate with their man and could even lead them away from Christ. Women need Christian girlfriends that they can confide in, not other men who could potentially wreck the relationship. And if they continue that behavior, it will most likely wreck the next one. Any self-respecting Christian man would have insecurities around this.
It’s valid. And Boundaries are needed, let’s be real ain’t no way people who are committing to each other should be confiding in the opposite sex unless they be in the family and preferably Christian. Because if they’re not family temptations can arise. And if they’re not Christian, they’re more likely to give worldly advice. Which does more harm that good of course.
1. Will she cheat? @0:57 2. Will she reject me over my past porn use? @3:36 3. Does she add value to my life or am I happier alone? @5:45 Transitioning to marriage... 4. Is she just on her best behavior until marriage? @8:26 5. Will she want to have sex or will it be a duty for her? @10:28 6. Can I make her happy? @13:11
It’s not up to a woman to solve a man’s insecurities. He needs to take that to God. If she’s a Christian, she should also act accordingly. Following in Gods explicit directions for her every step. Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t cheat, have the best “possible”relationship with her parents by honoring them. This shows good moral character and faithfulness in her oldest relationships. If you can’t trust that, the issue is not her.
This video allows me to see why it takes men a while not that it should but they really have to pray, use wisdom, and so much more. Bless you men of God.
I think while the man will want to know that the woman wants to have sex, rather than treat it like a duty, I think for a woman it's important that she doesn't feel expected to just be ready to go whenever he asks. I'm not married but from what i've learned there's a lot more connection that the woman needs before that. I also wouldn't want to feel like my husband is only give me special treatment if he's just after sex. That should just be a natural thing that happens as a result of quality time and genuine connection
You would think and honey your ideals were my ideals. I’m married now so I know now that marriage doesn’t equal happiness. You have to make your own but not with any married friends and don’t even look at their husbands… that’s cheating too. Most married women are miserable and it’s hard to be friends with them. Friendship was better when we were girls and unmarried and we didn’t have competition with other girls like we do now as “Christian women” or abuses that most women sweep under the rug because no one actually cares what your husband did. They just shrug and expect you to move to a shelter and start over in poverty.
Sex doesn’t equal happiness for women. Most men don’t make love they demand and whine for sex and when you give them it it’s never enough and most of their lack of Loving God gets dumped on you. Your the everything including their bitch.
Mark, your videos are increasingly becoming more in depth and packed full of wisdom. I pray you continue to be sustained and remain energized to use the gifts God had given you. Thanks for another video full of great content.
Before I became a Christian my cohabiting exboyfriend would spend hours on a Sunday morning talking business to his boss. I quipped that they ought to marry. My point is this: brothers, be fair. Of course when you marry, you cannot expect to continue with your single lifestyle! Both partners may have to sacrifice something in order to be with your special spouse. Women need attention as you need attention. All relationships do need time and attention to flourish, including the one with our creator. So whilst no woman can expect perfection from her mate, this does not green light a path of selfishness. A little thought, doing lovely things, being considerate, really getting to know a woman properly, all these things are biblical and necessary. With God's help and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can do this
also children. If u have children, u have already agreed to prioritize others in your life. So yes money is very very important to provide for everyone, but other extra curriculars will be cut because now your extra curricular activity is raising your kids.
Mark , your channel is one of the most useful on the whole Internet. I highly appreciate your respectful way of talking about relationships 🙏🏻 It is particularly refreshing in the 21st century nihilist - trash "culture" . THANK YOU 🙏🏻!
Really glad you mentioned the online influence of older guys on younger men. I'd love you to do a more in depth video exploring the whole Redpill, MGTOW, manaspher culture. I've noticed the influence of it on guys in my church.
Yep, agree would be good to see it.The Bible teaches that relationships, including marriage, should be based on love, mutual respect, and selflessness. MGTOW, with its focus on self-interest and avoidance of relationships, goes against these teachings.
Being red pilled in the church is only effective if you’re planning on being single. At some point you’re going to have to consider men’s groups with Godly influence to deprogram you from the worldly influence on women outside of church. Men will have to trust the lord and grow in discernment.
I too would love to see Mark and other Christians do a video on Mgtow/Red Pill, especially since I watched many videos about them and they had a big influence on me. On one hand, I know these videos aren’t Christian and have caused me a lot of doubt, depression, and other issues. On the other hand, there is a lot of truth in these videos about typical western women including Christian women and the videos make me want to be more masculine, more focused on myself, stop caring about a woman’s feelings so much because they often purposely create drama, women generally find men who are more selfish more attractive and other traits that encourage men to stop desiring a woman because there’s not much to gain from it.
The way I look at it is that the rp guys are like weathermen… they present the climate of the world. As a Christian, I have found that they are good in pointing out the pitfalls to beware of in modern world. If they are prescribing things against Christianity, obviously don’t follow, but a lot of the guys I’ve listened to just have practical observations. Some of it is practical observation about how human sin nature has manifested.
Great video. I don’t think men would talk to the women about these insecurities but it’s good to see inside the male mind to see what they may be dealing with. Especially the past cheating thing. The blame always goes to the person who was cheated on because they’re not trusting enough….it’s natural to compare your past trauma to your future possibilities. It’s a protective instinct. If a guy told me he was cheated on and needs time to trust me, I’d do everything I can to earn that trust. Not say “oh you think I’m not trustworthy enough to have guy friends?” Dating people should not have friends that are the opposite sex. Only friendly acquaintances so I’m glad you brought this up. When you’re in a godly relationship you don’t want friends of the opposite sex. You get all you need in that aspect from your spouse/relationship. It’s an open door for temptation and just unnecessary. If you won’t give up your guy best friend for your spouse, you’re not ready to get married
I disagree with comment about not fully discussing sexuality and expectations prior to marriage … there should be multiple open honest transparent communucation
I stopped watching porn almost 6 months ago. I knew, for other reasons, that God was trying to draw me closer to him. I am glad I heeded. I replaced that with reading scripture and praying several times a day. I know the temptation might creep up on my again at some point but right now I don't miss it. As a result, loneliness has also crept in. Whoever reads this I ask that you pray for me and if you ever need someone to pray for you, please let me know.
I feel like as a woman I started thinking like if I was wanting to marry me how would I want her to act or behave etc. so I started changing a lot of rules and started doing all of these things. I honestly didn’t know how to put them in words but some may not understand why im doing this; but I believe the right guy will understand why I put boundaries and am so considerate of them etc… good video! It put my theory’s into words!
As a wife, I really want to thank you for this video. I got a LOT out of it - and we’ve been married for 14 years! I appreciate you having a hand in bettering our relationship. 💪🧡👍
I’m really glad you spoke on the underlying issue with complaining about work and how that registers to a guy. I never cared about hanging out w/ friends and I always encouraged that. But with work, I messed that up big time with the last guy I dated 😔. He worked 8-4pm then would check his numbers & work more for hours EVERY night from like 9/10ish-11/12ish during our phone time and it really only annoyed me after a while bc he often didn’t pay attention to things I was saying or forgot things he said (which caused arguments later). However, he had really good job, that he valued a lot & I need to respect that. So, I know moving forward with any prospective suitors (because of this video) to just break it off, if it becomes too much for me, bc he definitely started to resent me & I could figure out why 🤦🏾♀️☹️. #ThankYou
I wish I had understood these things in my past relationship. Wow, the first two, exactly what happened. Sadly, the fact that I was unsure about the relationship caused him to constantly be on guard because of his past trauma, though I've never been a girl who has guy friends. As for the last point... my past experiences made me feel as though I constantly had to be hard to get in order for a man to keep wanting me, because every time I was enthusiastic about a man, he rejected me. Until the last relationship I was in... he did want to be with me, but my fear of losing him made me do self-sabotaging things. I wish I had spent more time on your channel rather than listening to the advice of the world that was just about manipulation. I've come to feel that, if it's right, we will both have an interest in one another with no games or trying to find our self worth in each other. I am at least grateful for how God used the relationship to bring up issues in me that needed to be dealt with. Thanks, Mark, for being a Christian voice.
This was a really good video. Thank you, Mark. I can vouch specifically for your first point and how the lack of boundaries feels disrespectful. About point 4, although there's no pragmatic way to discern this, that's where we need the Holy Spirit. God will reveal who a person truly is in time.
Thanks, Mark, for discussing this. She should desire to work out with him their differences. Not throwing them away. Yes! Christ first! He causes us to love each other and to work everything out through Christ. We can't do it without Him.
I really need prayers right now. Me and my best friend clearly love each other but for some reason we both have this intrusive fear and doubt of trusting each other and it’s ruining our relationship. We want to grow closer to one another and walk in Christ together. God is not a God of such confusion, but we don’t know why this is happening. I love this man so much already, please pray that if it was really meant to be for us to work things out. I’m afraid that the enemy might be putting this fear into the relationship in spite of God. Please pray for us!
Honestly, it’s not only men that have used to watch or have been addicted to watching porn. Also women, includes myself, and I agree with the second point. If the person is continuing to go down the path of righteousness and God has already forgiven that person. Who are we to continue hold that persons past against them? Instead we should encourage one another for both parties. Lust in general knows no boundaries so whether it’s a man or a woman, both are capable of falling into the addiction of pornography. Be reminded of the scripture in Romans “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.” Romans 3:23-26 NLT
Mark, am a new subs, Thank you so much for the depth content. Do qppreciate it and I learn a lot from all the knowledge and insight shared. Please keep the good work. With God bless
Honest open communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship... if you don't start off on the right foot.... it's not likely to improve... I agree that no woman can be an accountability partner... he needs to be honest
The Apostle Paul was right when he said that the single person should be happier because the married one it's constantly worried about how to please the spouse, the more videos I see about marriage and finding "the one" the more I'm being discouraged to persue marriage honestly.
I agree that it's easy to feel discouraged. But at the same time, willing to be single to devote ourselves to God's work alone should come from love to his work more than discouragement from relationships.
Fantastic video again! Thanks for giving women a real look into what guys have hesitation about. Can 1000% relate to all of these points. 1… totally agree with everything 2… I will also add that there are a lot of Christian men who want relationships and can’t find them & they’re saddled with sexual desire. Doesn’t excuse porn use.. but I think this part of the reason it’s so prevalent. 3… excellent points! For #4, I’ll add that men don’t even need to read or watch things on the internet about divorces. For example, in the church I grew up in, every single pastor I had went through a divorce (4 total) my church was also riddled with divorce. So, a practical observation of the climate will make men hesitant. It has made me more discerning in choosing a wife, so I am grateful for that, but it is also concerning to me that divorce is so rampant even in churches. #5 Fantasic point. It’s terrifying for Christian men to consider the chance of abstaining from sex until marriage only to not be desired in marriage. We certainly want to be desired .
In my experience, sexual desire for a woman decreases in proportion to her partner's declined interest/performance of non sexual affection/intimacy. Both are required & equally important in the relationship.
These videos are a huge blessing for me. I love how you are sharing the wisdom God has given you through study of ther Word, and relationships in the world. Your video about Jesus at the Wedding in Cana really stood out to me. Point Number 4 really stood out to me. I am presently in a relationship and am looking for some advice. Where is the proper way to contact you? Would you like a comment or an email (if you're willing to discuss it).
I kind of disagree here. Coming from a relationship where I was constantly being berated for even talking to another man, it was most definitely about trust, a man who can't even work on his own insecurities or even trust me to make my own decisions is actually a cancer to emotional health for both parties.
he's not talking about that type of man. He's talking about a true man of God. If you move like that with a child of God, you're the one in the wrong. Its about humility.
@@juliebeliveau8325 once again, he’s not talking about that type of man He’s talking about Men of God. Yes those type of men are out here. Nobody’s perfect and you ain’t either. This is a man of God making this video l, why would he endorse any behavior even close to what you’re saying??? Stop the madness.
2:54 , also, you need to be very careful about having friends of the opposite sex while you're in a relationship. Five of my female friends tried to sleep with me just because their significant-other/husband did something wrong that wasn't even worth cheating for.
You are using a broken relationship to give advice for a healthy one. That is of course not ok and I’m sorry that happened to you. A man of God who is truly walking with the lord will have his insecurities and trust healed by God before getting into a relationship. If we get into a relationship and the other party acts as you’ve described they are most likely not who God has for you or he still needs more internal work with just him and God.
I’m a little surprised that the narrative that women don’t enjoy sex is still circulating. Like wtf? Women not enjoying sex isn’t the issue here. The issue is the shaming and guilting toward women (and men) for being sexual beings. Sex is not a sin. Manipulation, deception, and control is the real issue here. Wake up sleepers.
Men think just because a woman isnt willing to have pre marital sex thats shes cold and doesnt like it. To bad for them. I aint giving myself to someone who doesnt value me anymore.
Ya I’m not okay with a man who uses porn. ONCE A MAN ALLOWS PORN INTO HIS LIFE HE IS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS GOING TO BE ADDICTED AT SOME LEVEL. It’s a huge Turn Off to me. I walk away fast
Not true. When a man is surrendered in his relationship with Christ porn ceases to be a tool to numb painful feelings coz God searches everything out and brings it to light so that we can address the root problem. Stop dating men who are spiritually weak
Finding a guy, or woman for that matter, who hasn't watched pornography is slim to none. Having standards is good but what you seem to be describing isn't based in reality
I just find it pretty ironic that number 1 is a fear of being cheated on only followed by number 2 which is a fear of not being forgiven for being a cheater.
Consider that your #1 and first fear of being cheated on... is not a far off nebulus future fear for women...but the nightmare reality she lives in, in a culture where 98% of men have engaging in a virtual strip clubs for 10+ years by the time their 22.
Can ones insecurities Produce Dreams. For eg. I am afraid she will Cheat on me or she is cheating on me with Someone... And i get dreams that she is Cheating. Did my insecurity bring about this dream??
And you recognize you have a problem, when you watch certain videos that you feel that you have know you have no business watching. And I had to do a lot of inner work, to close many doors
Also a woman … and SAME. I also concur with every part you said. God delivered me from it (a few times…) many years ago. I am married now, and recently discovered my husband of 14 years most certainly brought it into our marriage, and currently engages. I don’t know the details of how often, if he stopped years ago and fell again … that’s a conversation for when he’s ready to let me into his battle. He knows I was addicted, and he knows I could relate if only he’d talk to me …. but shame runs deep, and being a Holy Spirit trusting Celebrate Recovery addiction fighter myself, I GET THAT. It took a while to ease up and trust, but I am following God’s lead -as He has told me to ‘stay out of it’ (meaning his personal battle with porn and ‘why’ he partakes… that’s between him and the Lord until I get invited into the battle)- which has been HARD to submit to, and I believe will only be for a season… but I have faith that God truly does work all things for the good of those who love Him, and I DO, and I know He has me and my deprived, broken heart in His hands. And He has my husband as well. Though we are in a scary storm and it sometimes feels like we might not make it… Jesus knows, He is not worried, and He is with us in our boat.
Is there a video on if the female wants to go through college and didn’t want a relationship? I have had the females assume I want to be more then friends 3 times now and they have had there dads or family get involved because I’m misunderstood. And cause of that I’m scared I’ll make a mistake or a foolish mistake. When I talk to someone. I was going to ask one last question is that common? Cause I believe and always have believed that men and women can be friends without the more then friends aspect being the end goal.
@Joyce I'm glad you address boundaries. it is imperative that everyone COMMUNICATE their boundaries to one another. If we have the boundaries, but don't express them, we shouldn't hold others accountable for breaking them.
The media really works against healthy relationships. I'm glad women are becoming more understanding of the male experience. A smart, loving woman will encourage every activity that is healthy for her partner.
Yes men need Recreation/ sports BUT NOT PERPETUALLY MEN DO CHANGE FOR THE WORSE ONCE WE MARRY!!!! My now EX HUSBAND LIED 🤥 SAID HE WASNT INTO TV 📺 SPORTS. He slowly let his ugly self out. Used sports as an avoidance & he MADE ME INTO THE MOTHER ROLE!!! Weekends many- I did all the domestic stuff, kept the house a home while he was at the bar watching football 🏈. YES WE WENT YO CHURCH EACH WEEKEND! Went to couple events, he was a porn addict & WIVES DONT GET SEX WHEN HER HUSBAND IS INVOLVED IN PORN HE BECOMES DELUSIONAL
Mark, what should a woman do when she meets the perfect man later in life. The woman is 65 years old and the man is 55 years old, neither have been married before but are interested in having a relationship that would hopefully lead to marriage. The problem arises for the woman when she realizes she may not be able to have a sex due to her age. There is no way of finding out for sure without trying to have sex but sex before marriage would be sinful. Most women have stopped having sex with their husbands after menopause. The man does not know how old the woman is yet (she looks about 50) and is interested in dating her. Should the woman just tell him she can't date him because she is too old? This would be heart breaking because the 2 of them are a perfect match Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally.
#4 does affect me very much because of past experiences and videos I watched. I feel I really need to know how she treats her friends and family. One woman I used to like, after watching her for a while, I noticed she kept discarding friends and sometimes family for different reasons that were likely petty or for having a different opinion about something. Some of these friends I thought she valued very much. What really gets me though is when a woman will mistreat me or any man for things that aren’t that serious and is willing to end the friendship/relationship yet she was willing to put up with men in the past who abused her or said horrible things. Some say it’s important to know a woman’s past before committing to her.
Great video, Mark. It feels like there were about 3-4 points more you could've added! I think the last point rings true for a lot of men. If a man can't make a woman happy in smaller but significant things then it will seem like sexual relations will also be a potential source of shame for him and upset for her. More women need to understand this since many in the West have grown up with absent fathers and mothers who were generally dissatisfied with men. There's also a materialistic edge to western female culture which makes men no more than cash dispensers for a greed which cannot be filled. "🎶 Maybe I'm just like my mother; she's never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? This it what it sounds like when doves cry. 🎶" - Prince
I don't think you should talk about your past sexual sin, unless your your gf/bf/spouse ask about it.. why even bother bringing your past in your present.. if your really repentant about that it is not an issue of the present anymore..
Having been single and celibate for 34 years the physical intimacy part is scary to me. Not knowing what is right or wrong behavior when comparing the worldly way I used to live and the godly way I choose to live now.. I think I said that right
I had a friend that was a preacher kid that introduced me to porn to me at that young age i repented thr bible says no one is with out sin so men and women don't need to hold grudges against one another tou or her are not God you must forgive to be forgiven by god . Treat her with respect and she sould treat you with respect.
It honestly annoys me when I hear “men are struggling with porn right now”… yeah… so are women… only difference is we don’t get to make the choice, men do.
Not sure I agree with many of the points mentioned here. Like from a woman's point of view, the men aren't capable of seeing other things beyond potential sexually situation. Like when I have guy friends, I KNOW the difference between the two. I don't have romantic feelings towards my guy friends. I do to my boyfriend. I wouldn't hold my guy friend's hands. I would my boyfriend's. So, when I get involved with someone who is so stuck in his insecurities, then he's not for me. I mean, I can compromise some things, and only after careful conversation. But then if they only feel the need to make me fit into their demand, then, it's not us women who have the problems. Sorry, it takes both ways to build a relationship.
The question is, would you be comfortable with your boyfriend/husband being friends with a woman who he sees as a friend but that woman would sleep with your husband if given the opportunity...probably not right?
It’s not respectful to the person you’re dating to have male friends. I am not dating now, and I have male friends. All who would sleep with me if I pressured them enough. If I start dating a man I’m not having male friends period. It’s not respectful of his trust just like the video says. It’s not about if you will cheat or not, it’s about respect. I wouldn’t want my man to have female friends. Friendly acquaintances are one thing, but friends are another.
It would seem to me revelation or understanding was lacking in some areas. You only have to look at Christians who in the face of death were so brave and definitely not insecure. Why? Your identity should be in Christ therefore it should remove insecurities the more you abide in Christ. Consider these verses, " Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world" or "if God be for me, who can be against you" or "be very bold and courageous for I the Lord am with you".... Someone who has true understanding of these verses cannot say that being a devoted Christian made them insecure.
I agree with zoetsahsai. But on the other hand, God shows us our weaknesses & through Him we're made strong. Just sounds like you (like all of us) have a lot of growing to do. Good for you that you're devoted Christian. Keep the light!
So his hobbies don't bother me but I have christian friends that are seriously judging me for liking a guy that has these hobbies. (One hobby being Anime... 🤷🏾♀️ I haven't really ever watched it, but it doesn't bother me that he likes it. )
That last point is 100% true for me. I'm much more concerned with making her happy. Having her do nice things for me is great because it shows effort on her part. However, I get a big boost to my sense of masculinity when she's satisfied with my efforts to make her smile.
So true, I feel the same and I've seen other men feel the same too. When you read the roles of the husband and wife in the Bible, there also seems to be that lean/bent there. Of course it has to be mutual, but overall a man feels like a man when he's providing and helping his family, not the other way around :)
Thank you for your honesty
You're being used by christ
Michael: It appears as though you are a genuinely good guy. Best of luck to you!
Yeah. Men don’t get pregnant and give birth then breast feed so what the fuckkk good are they if they don’t do the shopping and provide some food for their OWN kids:).
#1 is spot on. Boundaries in a relationship are extremely important. My last girlfriend did not see the importance of having proper boundaries with the opposite sex. It eventually contributed to our split. In fact, somehow another man got her number and was able to steal her away from me while we were going through some issues. He wasn't even a Christian! Allowing other men, especially those who aren't saved, to speak into a woman's issues and form intimacy will make women less intimate with their man and could even lead them away from Christ. Women need Christian girlfriends that they can confide in, not other men who could potentially wreck the relationship. And if they continue that behavior, it will most likely wreck the next one. Any self-respecting Christian man would have insecurities around this.
It’s valid. And Boundaries are needed, let’s be real ain’t no way people who are committing to each other should be confiding in the opposite sex unless they be in the family and preferably Christian. Because if they’re not family temptations can arise. And if they’re not Christian, they’re more likely to give worldly advice. Which does more harm that good of course.
yes. boundaries are important and need to be respected with both sexes. Both need to see the other person has outside priorities and boundaries.
1. Will she cheat? @0:57
2. Will she reject me over my past porn use? @3:36
3. Does she add value to my life or am I happier alone? @5:45
Transitioning to marriage...
4. Is she just on her best behavior until marriage? @8:26
5. Will she want to have sex or will it be a duty for her? @10:28
6. Can I make her happy? @13:11
MUCH GRATITUDE
Thank you, lovely Sarah.
Thanks alot beautiful
It’s not up to a woman to solve a man’s insecurities. He needs to take that to God. If she’s a Christian, she should also act accordingly. Following in Gods explicit directions for her every step. Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t cheat, have the best “possible”relationship with her parents by honoring them. This shows good moral character and faithfulness in her oldest relationships. If you can’t trust that, the issue is not her.
I agree that everyone should cast their worries to God; however, if your partner can’t confide in you, then are you really partners?
This video allows me to see why it takes men a while not that it should but they really have to pray, use wisdom, and so much more. Bless you men of God.
So glad this video was helpful!
I think while the man will want to know that the woman wants to have sex, rather than treat it like a duty, I think for a woman it's important that she doesn't feel expected to just be ready to go whenever he asks. I'm not married but from what i've learned there's a lot more connection that the woman needs before that. I also wouldn't want to feel like my husband is only give me special treatment if he's just after sex. That should just be a natural thing that happens as a result of quality time and genuine connection
I hear you, but as a Christian woman, if I was in a good marriage ect, oh my word- enough said. I'd be all over it, & oh so happily. 🌟
@@sulusu4812 so would i, 💯%❣️ ^^
You would think and honey your ideals were my ideals. I’m married now so I know now that marriage doesn’t equal happiness. You have to make your own but not with any married friends and don’t even look at their husbands… that’s cheating too. Most married women are miserable and it’s hard to be friends with them. Friendship was better when we were girls and unmarried and we didn’t have competition with other girls like we do now as “Christian women” or abuses that most women sweep under the rug because no one actually cares what your husband did. They just shrug and expect you to move to a shelter and start over in poverty.
Sex doesn’t equal happiness for women. Most men don’t make love they demand and whine for sex and when you give them it it’s never enough and most of their lack of Loving God gets dumped on you. Your the everything including their bitch.
If there are good men we wouldn’t know because it’s wrong to make friends and learn how men think.
Mark, your videos are increasingly becoming more in depth and packed full of wisdom. I pray you continue to be sustained and remain energized to use the gifts God had given you. Thanks for another video full of great content.
Thank you for these prayers and words of encouragement! God is good!
Totally agree.. I’ve really resonated with his recent videos as well. They’re very relevant and needed in our climate
Mark .... Please make a video on the insecurities women face in dating and approaching marriage.
better if his wife does that video. He would just be supposing or inferring if he did it.
Before I became a Christian my cohabiting exboyfriend would spend hours on a Sunday morning talking business to his boss. I quipped that they ought to marry. My point is this: brothers, be fair. Of course when you marry, you cannot expect to continue with your single lifestyle! Both partners may have to sacrifice something in order to be with your special spouse. Women need attention as you need attention. All relationships do need time and attention to flourish, including the one with our creator. So whilst no woman can expect perfection from her mate, this does not green light a path of selfishness. A little thought, doing lovely things, being considerate, really getting to know a woman properly, all these things are biblical and necessary. With God's help and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can do this
also children. If u have children, u have already agreed to prioritize others in your life. So yes money is very very important to provide for everyone, but other extra curriculars will be cut because now your extra curricular activity is raising your kids.
Mark , your channel is one of the most useful on the whole Internet. I highly appreciate your respectful way of talking about relationships 🙏🏻 It is particularly refreshing in the 21st century nihilist - trash "culture" . THANK YOU 🙏🏻!
Im single but I learn so much from your videos on how to interact with a potential partner healthily. God bless.
Really glad you mentioned the online influence of older guys on younger men. I'd love you to do a more in depth video exploring the whole Redpill, MGTOW, manaspher culture. I've noticed the influence of it on guys in my church.
Yes me too
Yep, agree would be good to see it.The Bible teaches that relationships, including marriage, should be based on love, mutual respect, and selflessness. MGTOW, with its focus on self-interest and avoidance of relationships, goes against these teachings.
Being red pilled in the church is only effective if you’re planning on being single. At some point you’re going to have to consider men’s groups with Godly influence to deprogram you from the worldly influence on women outside of church. Men will have to trust the lord and grow in discernment.
I too would love to see Mark and other Christians do a video on Mgtow/Red Pill, especially since I watched many videos about them and they had a big influence on me. On one hand, I know these videos aren’t Christian and have caused me a lot of doubt, depression, and other issues. On the other hand, there is a lot of truth in these videos about typical western women including Christian women and the videos make me want to be more masculine, more focused on myself, stop caring about a woman’s feelings so much because they often purposely create drama, women generally find men who are more selfish more attractive and other traits that encourage men to stop desiring a woman because there’s not much to gain from it.
The way I look at it is that the rp guys are like weathermen… they present the climate of the world. As a Christian, I have found that they are good in pointing out the pitfalls to beware of in modern world. If they are prescribing things against Christianity, obviously don’t follow, but a lot of the guys I’ve listened to just have practical observations. Some of it is practical observation about how human sin nature has manifested.
Great video. I don’t think men would talk to the women about these insecurities but it’s good to see inside the male mind to see what they may be dealing with. Especially the past cheating thing. The blame always goes to the person who was cheated on because they’re not trusting enough….it’s natural to compare your past trauma to your future possibilities. It’s a protective instinct. If a guy told me he was cheated on and needs time to trust me, I’d do everything I can to earn that trust. Not say “oh you think I’m not trustworthy enough to have guy friends?” Dating people should not have friends that are the opposite sex. Only friendly acquaintances so I’m glad you brought this up. When you’re in a godly relationship you don’t want friends of the opposite sex. You get all you need in that aspect from your spouse/relationship. It’s an open door for temptation and just unnecessary. If you won’t give up your guy best friend for your spouse, you’re not ready to get married
I disagree with comment about not fully discussing sexuality and expectations prior to marriage … there should be multiple open honest transparent communucation
I stopped watching porn almost 6 months ago. I knew, for other reasons, that God was trying to draw me closer to him. I am glad I heeded. I replaced that with reading scripture and praying several times a day. I know the temptation might creep up on my again at some point but right now I don't miss it. As a result, loneliness has also crept in. Whoever reads this I ask that you pray for me and if you ever need someone to pray for you, please let me know.
🙏
I feel like as a woman I started thinking like if I was wanting to marry me how would I want her to act or behave etc. so I started changing a lot of rules and started doing all of these things. I honestly didn’t know how to put them in words but some may not understand why im doing this; but I believe the right guy will understand why I put boundaries and am so considerate of them etc… good video! It put my theory’s into words!
As a wife, I really want to thank you for this video. I got a LOT out of it - and we’ve been married for 14 years!
I appreciate you having a hand in bettering our relationship. 💪🧡👍
It's very refreshing to get godly advice without religious legalism. Thank you so much. ❤🙏
If you are truly in love... sex is a desire for both genders...
I’m really glad you spoke on the underlying issue with complaining about work and how that registers to a guy. I never cared about hanging out w/ friends and I always encouraged that. But with work, I messed that up big time with the last guy I dated 😔. He worked 8-4pm then would check his numbers & work more for hours EVERY night from like 9/10ish-11/12ish during our phone time and it really only annoyed me after a while bc he often didn’t pay attention to things I was saying or forgot things he said (which caused arguments later). However, he had really good job, that he valued a lot & I need to respect that. So, I know moving forward with any prospective suitors (because of this video) to just break it off, if it becomes too much for me, bc he definitely started to resent me & I could figure out why 🤦🏾♀️☹️. #ThankYou
Thank you Mark for this video. Very useful. Regards from The Netherlands 🇳🇱🙋🏽♀️.
I wish I had understood these things in my past relationship. Wow, the first two, exactly what happened. Sadly, the fact that I was unsure about the relationship caused him to constantly be on guard because of his past trauma, though I've never been a girl who has guy friends. As for the last point... my past experiences made me feel as though I constantly had to be hard to get in order for a man to keep wanting me, because every time I was enthusiastic about a man, he rejected me. Until the last relationship I was in... he did want to be with me, but my fear of losing him made me do self-sabotaging things. I wish I had spent more time on your channel rather than listening to the advice of the world that was just about manipulation. I've come to feel that, if it's right, we will both have an interest in one another with no games or trying to find our self worth in each other. I am at least grateful for how God used the relationship to bring up issues in me that needed to be dealt with. Thanks, Mark, for being a Christian voice.
Amen, brother! I agree with your concerns listed because some of those concerns became a reality for me
Not having money as a man can also cause insecurity.
Thank you for this video! This is helpful in understanding my partner better and will implement them accordingly, I'm sure he'll appreciate it 😊
This was very helpful and eye opening. Thanks Mark.
This was a really good video. Thank you, Mark.
I can vouch specifically for your first point and how the lack of boundaries feels disrespectful.
About point 4, although there's no pragmatic way to discern this, that's where we need the Holy Spirit. God will reveal who a person truly is in time.
Amen, this is why rushing a relationship is a big mistake. It takes time to really authenticate someone's behavior as consistent and genuine :)
Thanks, Mark, for discussing this. She should desire to work out with him their differences. Not throwing them away. Yes! Christ first! He causes us to love each other and to work everything out through Christ. We can't do it without Him.
Love your videos!! SO HELPFUL!! All truth!
I really need prayers right now. Me and my best friend clearly love each other but for some reason we both have this intrusive fear and doubt of trusting each other and it’s ruining our relationship. We want to grow closer to one another and walk in Christ together. God is not a God of such confusion, but we don’t know why this is happening. I love this man so much already, please pray that if it was really meant to be for us to work things out. I’m afraid that the enemy might be putting this fear into the relationship in spite of God. Please pray for us!
❤
I would recommend not calling yourself an alpha female it’s very unbiblical lol
@@ClassicPhysique27 yep I agree, I 100% believe that men are above women in that sense but I wanted to be funny in that moment I guess 🤡🤡🤡
Honestly, it’s not only men that have used to watch or have been addicted to watching porn. Also women, includes myself, and I agree with the second point. If the person is continuing to go down the path of righteousness and God has already forgiven that person. Who are we to continue hold that persons past against them? Instead we should encourage one another for both parties. Lust in general knows no boundaries so whether it’s a man or a woman, both are capable of falling into the addiction of pornography. Be reminded of the scripture in Romans “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.”
Romans 3:23-26 NLT
8:52 Honesty, my biggest fear..
I've literally always said if I ever have a guy best friend we are getting married 🤝🏾
yup, that's the only way keep a guy best friend, otherwise it becomes unhealthy over time
11:04 I'd love if you can make a video more on what you said you won't go into at this time for those of us approaching engagment/marriage :)
Mark, am a new subs, Thank you so much for the depth content. Do qppreciate it and I learn a lot from all the knowledge and insight shared. Please keep the good work. With God bless
Honest open communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship... if you don't start off on the right foot.... it's not likely to improve... I agree that no woman can be an accountability partner... he needs to be honest
The Apostle Paul was right when he said that the single person should be happier because the married one it's constantly worried about how to please the spouse, the more videos I see about marriage and finding "the one" the more I'm being discouraged to persue marriage honestly.
I agree that it's easy to feel discouraged. But at the same time, willing to be single to devote ourselves to God's work alone should come from love to his work more than discouragement from relationships.
Fantastic video again! Thanks for giving women a real look into what guys have hesitation about. Can 1000% relate to all of these points.
1… totally agree with everything
2… I will also add that there are a lot of Christian men who want relationships and can’t find them & they’re saddled with sexual desire. Doesn’t excuse porn use.. but I think this part of the reason it’s so prevalent.
3… excellent points!
For #4, I’ll add that men don’t even need to read or watch things on the internet about divorces. For example, in the church I grew up in, every single pastor I had went through a divorce (4 total) my church was also riddled with divorce. So, a practical observation of the climate will make men hesitant. It has made me more discerning in choosing a wife, so I am grateful for that, but it is also concerning to me that divorce is so rampant even in churches.
#5 Fantasic point. It’s terrifying for Christian men to consider the chance of abstaining from sex until marriage only to not be desired in marriage. We certainly want to be desired .
In my experience, sexual desire for a woman decreases in proportion to her partner's declined interest/performance of non sexual affection/intimacy. Both are required & equally important in the relationship.
Thank u for such great info! 🤗
Yes, I want to make her happy!
Many thanks for this video
These videos are a huge blessing for me. I love how you are sharing the wisdom God has given you through study of ther Word, and relationships in the world. Your video about Jesus at the Wedding in Cana really stood out to me. Point Number 4 really stood out to me. I am presently in a relationship and am looking for some advice. Where is the proper way to contact you? Would you like a comment or an email (if you're willing to discuss it).
Eye-opening
THIS WAS SO HELPFUL THANK YOU
Thank you Mark
Great video, Mark! Amazing points! Shalom!
I kind of disagree here. Coming from a relationship where I was constantly being berated for even talking to another man, it was most definitely about trust, a man who can't even work on his own insecurities or even trust me to make my own decisions is actually a cancer to emotional health for both parties.
he's not talking about that type of man. He's talking about a true man of God. If you move like that with a child of God, you're the one in the wrong. Its about humility.
@@aaroncoles2433 Any self proclaimed man of God who condones the mistreatment of man or woman for a simple conversation isnt even a man of God.
@@juliebeliveau8325 once again, he’s not talking about that type of man
He’s talking about Men of God.
Yes those type of men are out here. Nobody’s perfect and you ain’t either.
This is a man of God making this video l, why would he endorse any behavior even close to what you’re saying??? Stop the madness.
2:54 , also, you need to be very careful about having friends of the opposite sex while you're in a relationship. Five of my female friends tried to sleep with me just because their significant-other/husband did something wrong that wasn't even worth cheating for.
You are using a broken relationship to give advice for a healthy one. That is of course not ok and I’m sorry that happened to you. A man of God who is truly walking with the lord will have his insecurities and trust healed by God before getting into a relationship. If we get into a relationship and the other party acts as you’ve described they are most likely not who God has for you or he still needs more internal work with just him and God.
I’m a little surprised that the narrative that women don’t enjoy sex is still circulating. Like wtf? Women not enjoying sex isn’t the issue here. The issue is the shaming and guilting toward women (and men) for being sexual beings. Sex is not a sin. Manipulation, deception, and control is the real issue here. Wake up sleepers.
Men think just because a woman isnt willing to have pre marital sex thats shes cold and doesnt like it. To bad for them. I aint giving myself to someone who doesnt value me anymore.
I've wondered why that's still circulating as well
Bro your videos are really good and on point ! Looking forward to my Godly marriage ! Also how do I get hair like yours ? Thanks
Ya I’m not okay with a man who uses porn. ONCE A MAN ALLOWS PORN INTO HIS LIFE HE IS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS GOING TO BE ADDICTED AT SOME LEVEL. It’s a huge Turn Off to me. I walk away fast
I agree.
I also am thinking if a guy once he started to watch it and says he has stopped really understood the dangers and will stop.
Not true. When a man is surrendered in his relationship with Christ porn ceases to be a tool to numb painful feelings coz God searches everything out and brings it to light so that we can address the root problem. Stop dating men who are spiritually weak
@@karabomamogale1286 no it doesn’t
Finding a guy, or woman for that matter, who hasn't watched pornography is slim to none. Having standards is good but what you seem to be describing isn't based in reality
@@JohnBrown-ig5nc you think so?
That is sad if that is the reality that very few people out there that used porn. It makes me sad:((
Thank you
I just find it pretty ironic that number 1 is a fear of being cheated on only followed by number 2 which is a fear of not being forgiven for being a cheater.
Consider that your #1 and first fear of being cheated on... is not a far off nebulus future fear for women...but the nightmare reality she lives in, in a culture where 98% of men have engaging in a virtual strip clubs for 10+ years by the time their 22.
Good video
Glad you enjoyed, all glory to God!
Can ones insecurities Produce Dreams. For eg. I am afraid she will Cheat on me or she is cheating on me with Someone... And i get dreams that she is Cheating. Did my insecurity bring about this dream??
Yes, you are visualizing your future. Think positive and work your insecurities.
I struggled with porn as a woman, once upon a time ago. I get it
It's a difficult habit to kick, but I support anyone trying to give it up and reclaim their mind and will. It is definitely weakens, the soul
It weakens the soul, with guilt.
And you recognize you have a problem, when you watch certain videos that you feel that you have know you have no business watching. And I had to do a lot of inner work, to close many doors
Also a woman … and SAME.
I also concur with every part you said.
God delivered me from it (a few times…) many years ago.
I am married now, and recently discovered my husband of 14 years most certainly brought it into our marriage, and currently engages. I don’t know the details of how often, if he stopped years ago and fell again … that’s a conversation for when he’s ready to let me into his battle. He knows I was addicted, and he knows I could relate if only he’d talk to me …. but shame runs deep, and being a Holy Spirit trusting Celebrate Recovery addiction fighter myself, I GET THAT.
It took a while to ease up and trust, but I am following God’s lead -as He has told me to ‘stay out of it’ (meaning his personal battle with porn and ‘why’ he partakes… that’s between him and the Lord until I get invited into the battle)- which has been HARD to submit to, and I believe will only be for a season… but I have faith that God truly does work all things for the good of those who love Him, and I DO, and I know He has me and my deprived, broken heart in His hands.
And He has my husband as well.
Though we are in a scary storm and it sometimes feels like we might not make it… Jesus knows, He is not worried, and He is with us in our boat.
Is there a video on if the female wants to go through college and didn’t want a relationship? I have had the females assume I want to be more then friends 3 times now and they have had there dads or family get involved because I’m misunderstood. And cause of that I’m scared I’ll make a mistake or a foolish mistake. When I talk to someone. I was going to ask one last question is that common? Cause I believe and always have believed that men and women can be friends without the more then friends aspect being the end goal.
@Joyce I'm glad you address boundaries. it is imperative that everyone COMMUNICATE their boundaries to one another. If we have the boundaries, but don't express them, we shouldn't hold others accountable for breaking them.
I guess some of this can work both ways.
The media really works against healthy relationships. I'm glad women are becoming more understanding of the male experience. A smart, loving woman will encourage every activity that is healthy for her partner.
Yes men need Recreation/ sports BUT NOT PERPETUALLY MEN DO CHANGE FOR THE WORSE ONCE WE MARRY!!!! My now EX HUSBAND LIED 🤥 SAID HE WASNT INTO TV 📺 SPORTS. He slowly let his ugly self out. Used sports as an avoidance & he MADE ME INTO THE MOTHER ROLE!!! Weekends many- I did all the domestic stuff, kept the house a home while he was at the bar watching football 🏈. YES WE WENT YO CHURCH EACH WEEKEND! Went to couple events, he was a porn addict & WIVES DONT GET SEX WHEN HER HUSBAND IS INVOLVED IN PORN HE BECOMES DELUSIONAL
I did not know that a lot of men had a porn concern from their past😮. That has just completely blown me away.
Besides Spirit spouses‼️😅🤭
These are VERY SAME FOR LADIES TO ASK MEN WHEN WE ANALYZE A MAN FOR US
It's hard when a guy rejects his likes and goes into hiding. Those things do attract the woman to him while he participates in activities.
Does it matter if a marriage is prevented? Aren't you going to marry the person God wants you too?
Mark, what should a woman do when she meets the perfect man later in life. The woman is 65 years old and the man is 55 years old, neither have been married before but are interested in having a relationship that would hopefully lead to marriage. The problem arises for the woman when she realizes she may not be able to have a sex due to her age. There is no way of finding out for sure without trying to have sex but sex before marriage would be sinful. Most women have stopped having sex with their husbands after menopause. The man does not know how old the woman is yet (she looks about 50) and is interested in dating her. Should the woman just tell him she can't date him because she is too old? This would be heart breaking because the 2 of them are a perfect match Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally.
#4 does affect me very much because of past experiences and videos I watched. I feel I really need to know how she treats her friends and family.
One woman I used to like, after watching her for a while, I noticed she kept discarding friends and sometimes family for different reasons that were likely petty or for having a different opinion about something. Some of these friends I thought she valued very much.
What really gets me though is when a woman will mistreat me or any man for things that aren’t that serious and is willing to end the friendship/relationship yet she was willing to put up with men in the past who abused her or said horrible things. Some say it’s important to know a woman’s past before committing to her.
Amen! ✝️😇❤️
Guys have trauma with sex. This makes it hard for the woman too.
He's rejected his old nature!!! I see that.
Great video, Mark. It feels like there were about 3-4 points more you could've added!
I think the last point rings true for a lot of men. If a man can't make a woman happy in smaller but significant things then it will seem like sexual relations will also be a potential source of shame for him and upset for her. More women need to understand this since many in the West have grown up with absent fathers and mothers who were generally dissatisfied with men. There's also a materialistic edge to western female culture which makes men no more than cash dispensers for a greed which cannot be filled.
"🎶 Maybe I'm just like my mother; she's never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? This it what it sounds like when doves cry. 🎶" - Prince
I don't think you should talk about your past sexual sin, unless your your gf/bf/spouse ask about it.. why even bother bringing your past in your present.. if your really repentant about that it is not an issue of the present anymore..
Having been single and celibate for 34 years the physical intimacy part is scary to me. Not knowing what is right or wrong behavior when comparing the worldly way I used to live and the godly way I choose to live now..
I think I said that right
♒️💃👠👠🙏💝🙏🧘♀️👼🦋🦋🦋☘️☘️☘️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 JUST A NOTE, CHRISTIAN WOMEN WOULD LIKE MORE INTIMACY THAN MEN THINK!!! WOMAN LIKE PASSION TOUCHING , AND HUGS👍🎉🎉🎉
Amen 🙏♥️🙏✝️
I had a friend that was a preacher kid that introduced me to porn to me at that young age i repented thr bible says no one is with out sin so men and women don't need to hold grudges against one another tou or her are not God you must forgive to be forgiven by god . Treat her with respect and she sould treat you with respect.
😍🙏💯
Marriage Out Of Community of Property, is that wrong for Christians to marry out of community of Property? And Why?
*PAST porn use PAST; dont push an addictive porn addiction on us like its our fault we dont accept it please.
It honestly annoys me when I hear “men are struggling with porn right now”… yeah… so are women… only difference is we don’t get to make the choice, men do.
Not sure I agree with many of the points mentioned here. Like from a woman's point of view, the men aren't capable of seeing other things beyond potential sexually situation. Like when I have guy friends, I KNOW the difference between the two. I don't have romantic feelings towards my guy friends. I do to my boyfriend.
I wouldn't hold my guy friend's hands. I would my boyfriend's.
So, when I get involved with someone who is so stuck in his insecurities, then he's not for me.
I mean, I can compromise some things, and only after careful conversation. But then if they only feel the need to make me fit into their demand, then, it's not us women who have the problems.
Sorry, it takes both ways to build a relationship.
The question is, would you be comfortable with your boyfriend/husband being friends with a woman who he sees as a friend but that woman would sleep with your husband if given the opportunity...probably not right?
@@Grace-zx6dvevery man is not willing to sleep with his female friends… so your logic is skewed
It’s not respectful to the person you’re dating to have male friends. I am not dating now, and I have male friends. All who would sleep with me if I pressured them enough. If I start dating a man I’m not having male friends period. It’s not respectful of his trust just like the video says. It’s not about if you will cheat or not, it’s about respect. I wouldn’t want my man to have female friends. Friendly acquaintances are one thing, but friends are another.
Being an intensely devoted Christian for several years made me one of the most insecure people on the planet.
It would seem to me revelation or understanding was lacking in some areas. You only have to look at Christians who in the face of death were so brave and definitely not insecure. Why? Your identity should be in Christ therefore it should remove insecurities the more you abide in Christ. Consider these verses, " Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world" or "if God be for me, who can be against you" or "be very bold and courageous for I the Lord am with you".... Someone who has true understanding of these verses cannot say that being a devoted Christian made them insecure.
I agree with zoetsahsai. But on the other hand, God shows us our weaknesses & through Him we're made strong. Just sounds like you (like all of us) have a lot of growing to do. Good for you that you're devoted Christian. Keep the light!
Wrong you’re talking about girls not women
I am healthy healed from sexual sin from jesus christ sacrifice on the cross its under the blood of christ amen it is gone .
Amen 🙏
So his hobbies don't bother me but I have christian friends that are seriously judging me for liking a guy that has these hobbies. (One hobby being Anime... 🤷🏾♀️ I haven't really ever watched it, but it doesn't bother me that he likes it. )
Thank you Mark