Garbage Guide To Mass Effect Story
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- Опубліковано 5 кві 2017
- Mass Effect is a trilogy. But maybe the story confused you? Then you should watch another video because this is a parody.
I was gonna upload this video before Mass effect Andromeda. Then I got sick and couldn't record. It took 16 years to make this video.
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Music: www.purple-planet.com
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Music Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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Sorry it took some time. I also want to thank everyone that helped on the Reddit april fools. www.reddit.com/r/kilian/
Kilian Experience Hello!
tarzan...\;0
Kilian, my friend, look at 0:08. You forgot the title. D:
Congratulations Killian, firing a giant laser makes you an archeologist!
Kilian Experience is my spirit animal
The truest line ever: "i'm a RPG hero, im going to steal your stuff"
I was playing Pokemon Moon once
Me: **Kicks down door** GIVE ME FREE SHIT THE POWER OF RPG COMPELS YOU!
Gladion: Get out. (GeT the fUck oUT of my HOusE)
By far the funniest line
Shtuff
Property damage time
0
"my lastest save was in kotor' the greatest line ever.
Imagine having an autosave so old it's in a different franchise
@@scotcheggable wouldn't surprise me.
@@nukclear2741 wouldnt upset me considering how mass effect is these days
@@scotcheggable never played the series. Have played kotor thou.
@@nukclear2741 kotor good.
Mass effect Andromeda baaaaaaaaad
You humans call us the Rachni, but we call ourselves
ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵖᵃᶜᵉ ˡᵒᵇˢᵗᵉʳˢ
"A cutscene? This guy must be dangerous!" XD
"Humans call it the genophage"
"The salarians call it the anti-viagra"
"THE GETH!!!"
Gets me every time
@@kaspersaldell it geths* you everytime
Watching Zevik's playthroughs won't be the same because of this.
I've played through Mass Effect 1 at least seven times over the years, and I STILL don't know if sprint actually makes you faster out of combat.
It doesn't unfortunately. And here is a side by side comparison. ua-cam.com/video/7FhgShncJec/v-deo.html
if only there was a way to check using advanced technology called a clock and out of the box method called running from two places while sprinting and not.
Xellos Kaczor that is way too much effort for someone who is as lazy as I am and lazy as he probably is
"The Geth are in our evil Company HQ, but don't steal our stuff!",
"I'm a RPG-Hero, i'm gonna steal youre stuff."
Every time.
Ah, Mass Effect. Like many I used to suspect that "sprinting" in the first game did nothing out o f combat.
I used to throw grenades at my feet to put Shepard in combat mode and let me run faster.
Samuel Groen holy shit I have never thought to do that before
One of the things that I love about Killian is that he doesn't make videos because he needs to or for materialistic things. He does it for MONEY; the beautiful bills that make the world go round.
First five seconds and you asked the question I was always too scared to ask . 10/10
Having an ending where Shepard asks Harbinger if he could lick his elbow would still be better than the current ME 3 ending.
Keukenron Jans me3 ending is good wtf are you talking about? did you even installed Extended Cut? In one of the endings sheperd even lives
+HenriqueRJchiki Yeah, but EDI and the Geth(who I worked hard to save) die in that ending. I did all three, and I hate all of them. Destroy is technically the best at high fleet effectiveness, but it still sucks. I just wanted an ending where everyone lived, including Shep.
HenriqueRJchiki
The ME3 Ending:
Shepard and co run towards a space beam, that the Reapers have just left open for us, and then we get trapped so we call to the Normandy which is in the middle of space combat but takes time out of its busy schedule to save 2 insignificant lives. Harbinger stares at instead of shooting at Shepard and co as the Normandy sits there. Shepard then gets shot by a laser and isnt vaporized as was every other thing shot by the same laser in the same scene moments ago. We wake up wearing default N7 armor even if you were wearing something else and have a magical infinite ammo pistol out of nowhere. You defeat the hardest boss in the game, Marauder Shields, and then enter the beam, that the reapers still have not shut down to prevent us from reaching. Then you follow a corridor that Anderson somehow followed you into but is ahead of you. Then the level design carries you to the Starchild, who controls the robot reapers that kill us to prevent robots from killing us, and then decides to let US decide on what to do to stop the reapers by activating our deus ex machina device that either:
-Controls the reapers.
-Turns everyone into robots and ends robot racism via space magic.
-Destroys the reapers and geth (and anyone with a pace maker apparently because they use a loose definition of what it means to be Synthetic). Side Note: Shepard living hereis not an absolute; it is based on EMS.
And then Mass Relays explode leaving the entire fleet of the combined galaxy's forces stranded in the Sol system, and the relays don't destroy the solar systems they occupy even though destroying a relay in ME2 did just that. And the Reapers would have won if they attacked the Citadel at any time prior to the ending. They literally created the Citadel to be the enter of Galactic civilization, yet they completely ignore it when they come to wipe us out. The Citadel was the very first thing they hit in the previous cycle with the Protheans, but not this time?
So what about the ending is good exactly? Seems like some bad writing from Mac 'the Hack' Walters to me.
Oh I'm sure they totally needed the Citadel to speed up the progress of the space faring species while they were already in the middle of fighting said space fairing species (and I didnt say destroy it). If they went after the Citadel at the beginning of the invasion, they could have harvested all the people there and prevented anyone from using the god weapon against them. They could have easily stopped the Crucible. The Citadel already did it's job of advancing galactic civilization and 95% of Mass Relay use was people going to the Citadel for safety. You sure got me with that logic you brain dead polliwog.
It's 2020 and I don't understand how anyone could still even find a bright side to the ME3 ending even with the extended cut. People hated it so much that bioware devs created fresh youtube accounts to try and defend it. I remember it like yesterday, there was an interview with Casey Hudson or whatever for the EC and they were swarming anyone who trashed it.
does sprint actually make you faster tho?
I was looking through the comments for the answer to this question. I'll wait with you brother, we wil find an answer together.
Emperor Ming No.
It does if you fuck with the ini files
Probably.
Can't tell from the shaky cam that they use when Shepard is sprinting.
unless you mess with the ini to make you run faster outside of combat, which nerfs you in combat, no, it's not any faster, just the camera angle.
"My latest save was so far back, it was KotOR" is the most hilarious line in the history of the Internets.
pls make garbage guide to mass effect 2 and 3 too, its epic
6:54 I once watched my brother spend ten minutes trying to get over that damn wall...and he actually succeeded. Not sure how the hell he did it, but it made the "boss fight" a complete pushover. He was was very smug about it
I kid you not that I can lick my own elbow, nothing is impossible belive in your dreams thanks for the great video bye
IS THAT HERESY I SMELL?
liar
CMDR Aleciton "this" is not self referring
no joke
its kinda weird but oh well
Do you have very short arms or something?
“Everyone has to die...”
“ *_Even the younglings_* “
As an aside - I just want to say that "Leviathan" DLC actually tells you exactly what the Reapers want. It sucks that important content like that would be on a DLC. But at least it's there.
"That's worse than actual death."
Still a great DLC, and I hope the Legendary Edition will be worth it in the long run.
@@michaelandreipalon359 so much for that
"He's a dinosaur. I knew it!" Hilarious!
"The moral of the story is, buy a fucking camera." This line kills me every time.
Why buy a camera tho?
"The scariest thing in Mass Effect is the save system" - so true
For being a parody, this is pretty accurate tbh, great video.
~
P.S Do you have any plans on doing the rest of the trilogy?
No
FedoKing thank you FedoKing
Garrus is obviously best Waifu
Damn Right
Damn rig--weeaboo
@@miguelpadeiro762 Don't act like you wouldn't re-calibrate dat ass.
@@fuzzydunlop7928 Yea but still no homo
Wrex is the best.
That saving Ashley joke is real. My dad restarted his playthrough because he accidentally chose Kaidan.
>Mass Effect Story
>No "Hold the line" joke
Literally unwatchable. -3/10 you have ruined my childhood Kilian!
No one dares joke about Virmire!
”I’m an RPG hero, I'm going to steal your stuff.”
Kmsl That's my motto now
The salarian brolarian killed me. xDDDD i went tocheck and that is his actual name xDDDD
herman1francis so did I lol
I went to check and it wasn't. :/
"My save was so far back it was KOTOR" Good one.
6:47 You actually can get the Mako past those rocks. I did it, mostly by accident. I just kept ramming that entrance until the car flipped sideways and I fired the thrusters until it popped out. Looking back that previous sentence sounds a lot like a euphemism but I promise it isn't.
Mass Effect trilogy best games I've played in my life.
I’m afraid to play the games he does these guides on because i know it will never amount to the killian experience
This has to be one of the best guides to the mass effect universe ever :P
Rescue Ashley heh? Really is a garbage guide.
10/10 will see again.
Yay Kilian on r/place
We did it, ... Kilian!
Where?
To the left of the Darth Plagius copypasta
Darth Plagueis*
nimblefivesix I just realized I saw that before I knew who Killian was.
SPACE LOBSTER!
"your armor is wierd, which makes you our protagonist"
This video in my recommended made me wetter than Niagra Falls
Update,
I am now 90% of all of the worlds water
Walrusader if you were 90% of earths water not even the homeless African children would want to drink it
Nice job! I love those games and got a good chuckle out of this. I hope you're planning to eventually do the rest of the series. (And I distinctly remember how far back my game got kicked when I lost to Counselor Troi - I mean Liara's mother. Ouch.)
great stuff man, one of your best to date!
One thing, the protheans didn't create the mass effect relays or the citadel. They found it abandoned in space just like the other species currently spacebound in the galaxy. The relays and citadel were created by the same civilization that created the Reapers millennia ago and the creatures that maintain them were created for just that purpose.
8:32 "my latest save was so far back it was KOTOR" *LMAO*
Love your videos Kilian!
This vid has my favourite kilian line: "WAT THA FUCK MAN"
"lick your own elbow" isn't even a question lmao
The Mako T-bagging the large geth to death, so effective the Mako was removed from the series.
Ah, now it is all making sense. Thanks for clearing it all up for me!
This is the most fun bit youve put out in a while, worth the wait
This was amazing! I was laughing every step of the way! No chance you're going to continue with the trilogy is there?
I haven't heard Tarzan Boy in a loooong time, always reminds me of Beverly Hills Ninja the greatest movie ever made
Seeing that there's a new Kilian video is like waking up Christmas morning.
5:11 "I'm gunna steal your stuff."
Everyone has to die, EVEN THE YOUNGLINGS. Ok Killian Skywalker...
I love that according to youtube this vid is about andromeda.
I can't wait for you're next video in 20 years
I just found this channel, but I absolutely love it
Two mentions of Canada, bless you
thewhoppinator *waves canadian flag wildly* in happy we're mentioned!
"I'm an RPG hero, I'm going to steal your stuff" sums up the entire Killian Experience
Love the images inserted into the Prothean beacon flashes - Never Ending Story, Back to the Future...
Brilliant video as always
Wait - what's the difference between mass effect and halo??????????
James Cusack what isn't
"Whats the difference?" Mass effect is actually good.
Well umm, the Rachni aren't _perfect_ replicas of the flood? Oh yeah, there is also the blue, all female aliens, the giant robots trying to kill everyone, and pretty much everything else.
both are overrated.
but mass effect is better.
slightly.
also it fell even harder on its goddamn face with the later sequels.
That's a trick question, isn't it? Well I know the answer: its nine!
God damn to this day, I still don't know if the non-combat sprinting made you go faster. I played through ME1 probably more than 10 times.
i think this is still my fave kilian vid
"My save was so far back it was KOTOR" That's actually fucking grade-a comedy writing, that is. Wow, I appreciated the hell outta that line.
''Timmy age 9''
The Postillon on Killianexperience?
It's been two years now. I'm still waiting for a mass effect best waifu video.
I know it's been 4 years since you did this great video but I hope you do a garbage retrospective of the mass effect legendary edition some day. I feel you could describe this series better than anyone else.
That was incredible and the save file joke hit very close to home
My save was so far back it was KOTOR. Ahaha
Also I always let Ashley die because she was SO ANNOYING!
Best waifu you ask? Well if you can get her out of the suit, Tali of course you filthy peasants.
Ace Of Blazes Too bad you can't.
Except if you take into account the *Emergency Induction port*
MrJeanlebonjambon Yes. And that is the true tragedy of the situation. Damn you, weak immune systems!
Ace Of Blazes She doesn't even have a face, fuck off. Liara > Bitches
+HenriqueRJchiki Liars is a disgusting space parasite that fools other creatures into sex. That's what all Asstards are in that game.
HenriqueRJchiki Who cares ? At the end of day, we'll bang them both anyway.
Amazing, i love you, i have been watching like half a year now. Best half a year everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Pretty funny, these parody story recaps are probably your best videos on UA-cam.
39 views
39 likes
100% view to like ratio
Nice
For its time the textures were awesome... we just got old :/
haha, there's a still of the music video of "Down Under" (by Men at Work) within the vision at the beacon
1:31 There is one thing I wonder about to this day. What inspired you with the "THE GETH" joke? Is it an insider I'm missing out on or was it just a random whim? :D
i actually saved the rachni sad they never turned on me everyone said they would guess i was right
Being reminded how good the original ME's story was just makes me weep for the demise of Bioware. They used to really be something, man.
Love you Kilian
5:15
"I'm an RPG hero...I'm gunna steal your stuff"
LMAO!
Mass Effect Andromeda: Brought to you by the PS2!
you say that as if it were a bad thing?
Get out, PS2 was awesome
Actually, lemme correct myself. It IS awesome
"My last save was so far back, it was KOTOR."
Best line ever.
“They all died. Or became on-disc dlc, which is worse than death” fucking hell))))
🎶The geth🎵
Damn I can't remember the name on the song that plays during the 80s bits
Tarzan Boy?
Goddamn, this is why I love your videos! First five seconds and I'm laughing!! I ALWAYS pondered "is he really going faster?" in the first ME!!! hahahahaha
gotta love the halo music in the background at certain points
*The geth*
Mass effect one - 9/10
Mass effect two - 10/10
Mass effect three - 7/10
That last one that won’t be named was trash
Hello, I just found your chanell and it is great I was looking at your videos thinking "WTF time to find a life if I can watch all these videos in about 30 minutes". Please make more great videos
YES MORE CONTENT THANK YOU KILLIAN SENPAI
your heresy disturbs me
when a comedic, intentionally downplayed, garbage guide recap of the game still sound like a much better plot, than what a lot of modern games today pass as a story
I hear spyro music in the background!
just finished replaying mass effect today, this was a pleasant surprise.
7:45 Omg! Is that the music from that ice age game based of the Ice age movie for the gamecube, HOW DID I REMEMBER THIS!
Are you sick kilian? Your voice sounds different
Dj Sheepy pretty sure that's his hungover voice ^^
did you call Shepard a "Space Cop"? Is RLM gonna sue a red panda?
I love your videos. More please.
I only watched 4 minutes of it and laughed my ass off, nice explaining, you make it fun, cant watch further because of spoilers