A Narcissist Doesn't Care About Your...
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- The most hurtful part of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person is that they don't care about your feelings, needs, or boundaries. They don't care about your perspective, they don't value what you need to feel safe and loved and valued. Here's what we need to realize when we find ourselves in that terrible situation.
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#narcissism #narcissist #relationship
OMG the having to comfort them for the situations they created... 😮
True. My Ex legit yelled at me. And when I was hurt, because she yelled at me.
It was this, oh you hurt me so badly with your sesitivity. Wtf?!
And then litteraly said, I´M the cause, that she can´t heal.
Like if I would have been responable for that in first place...
Spot on. My ex asked a friend for advice, literally said, “what do you think I should do about my situation?” And got, in my opinion, great advice but he didn’t like being told he could do something to improve his situation. I ended up having to baby him all night because he was so hurt by the advice he literally asked for. 😂
@@NewNameNaomi wtf🤦 this is childish next level
It's like pulling teeth😢
I couldn't believe that people like this actually exist...until I was IN IT! The past four years of this treatment made me, now, NOT TRUST ANYONE. He's gone and NO MAS!
Well done!
I’ve been there .. walked away on time ❤ thank God , I saw thru things soon , I respect and love myself enough to see thru 💕
I really needed to hear this right now. I have to toughen my resolve, walk away and never turn back.
There are maybe two times as many borderlines as narcissists. Talk about them too please. And NO you should not feel sympathetic for their trauma. Its actually mostly genetic and if dating in this world people need to be informed of the trap they spin.
My ex was borderline and a vulnerable narcissist at the same time. Sometimes the same person have the same disorders
@@CarlaRamos-n8i sorry to hear that you had to deal with that. such a mind f**k. I guess my ex was BPD but with NPD traits.
NPD is not genetic; you cannot be born with NPD. it is not a disaease, it is a personality disorder. I agree they don't all have trauma to explain their behavior. These are learned behaviors, as well.
@@Objective-Observer ua-cam.com/video/ckzyuVBapzE/v-deo.htmlsi=8rrTzI0QO8lVIJc7
I was talking about BPD
I wish I'd known these things 28 yrs ago.
Thank you Jimmy .. so helpful
This is DEF ONE OF YOUR TOP 10! Brutally honest with compassion, hard words said with kindness, difficult things to hear said by someone who truely cares....ty...left my abuser 4 years ago and have NEVER looked back! Being single is waaayyy better than being "stuck" in abusive relationships...and not just physical, mentally, verbal, emotionally , neglect and financial.....ty God for freedom and courage
"You never have to abandon yourself in order to feel loved and accepted and valued in relationship" 🕊
I'm watching and listening and my eyes are wide and I'm saying yes over and over. I walked away in June 2020. Being in the relationship left me with long term illnesses. I believe it triggered fibromyalgia. I'm stuck with it for the rest of my life now. My life, despite illnesses, is good and I've remained single since I walked away.
This I relate to so much. I only woke up and got out 4 months ago, and I'd been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have ptsd from the relationship but thankfully the work I've done to heal my core wounds, through books, therapy, hypothesis and videos from wonderful people like Jimmy I'm no longer in constant pain from fibromyalgia
My story is so relatable except I still haven’t left after 38 years of marriage. Was misdiagnosed for over 30 years with fibromyalgia and other issues and almost 3 years ago, lost ability to see and function as well. Guess what. I have MS. Neuro ophthalmologist could not catch it for years I never had support for the years I suffered and am suffering so much more now. Terrible isolation and still growing but struggling somewhat emotionally. 😊I appreciate you for your comment because it is very helpful for me at 57. Still learning 🙏🏻thanks again and best wishes 😊
@lainaentzminger9903 oh my goodness. Blessings be upon you. 😊
God bless you all. I feel you all. My experience was different, but I paid a dear price for it. And I was left alone in the cold while he chose and commited to someone else, got married, and started a family... I loved him for 15 years and still he didn't see my value and said he never loved me... God has been the only safe place I could reach out to, and like all of you, Jimmy's videos have been enlightening and somehow comforting and reassuring. Thank you all, and God bless you all... Take care. 🙏🏽❤️😢🕯️
They're SO not interested... cause "that's a YOU problem" 😂
I feel and deeply understand what you are saying, yet i keep on fighting my truth somehow. 😢 Thank you for guiding us. ❤
I really needed this today. My mother stopped talking to me last year when my grandmother died on my birthday and she reached out to me this morning trying to act like nothing has happened between us.
I am 59 and just can’t find someone that wants a relationship anymore. Men my age all want friends with benefits or just sex. They can’t hear you or should I say just don’t care. So I’m coming to terms that I’m ok being alone.
I am middle-aged, and i gave up years ago.
That's part of the thing... boundaries don't work when they're just threats and you don't change your behavior to demonstrate your belief and conviction in your own worth... when you just feel bad after a breach, but stick around and just complain that 'they don't care' ... I finally figured out - why would they when they see you still there 😮 If you don't value you and advocate for you, why would they 😮
❤ I needed this reminder
Dang. Truth just slapped me in the face.
It's my mother
Thank you, a very powerfull message. Who ARE you? You're like a hidden inner voice, or an angel of peace❤
Am I a narcissist if I seek videos like these out? I am also seeing a therapist currently. My partner and I have hurt eachother in the past but are doing much better now. I'm worried that I have some narcissistic tendencies. I feel like I don't care enough about my partner
Does this apply to friendships? If i have a friend who exhibits all these traits, but i dont want to stop hanging out with... is it all the same?
Yes there's that in friendships too.. emotional leeches
The thing that really ended it for me was that he told me, just before I broke up with him, “your emotions grate on me.”
Not my actions. Not anything I could have said or done. Simply having emotions was too much for him. And, being a highly sensitive person my emotions are not only integral to who I am as a person, but one of my favorite things about myself.
Im so grateful I don’t have to deal with his cold, calculating, manipulative heart anymore and can finally be myself again.
The problem is that this doesn’t just describes a narcissist but an avoidant dismissive attachment.
To me a lot of this overlaps so much, it just comes down to how you feel while with them.
@@lisalambert81865 I hear you on the DA diagnosis. BELIEVE me I hear you. For two years I would research “how to make an avoidant love you, how to get them to be vulnerable, etc.”
Here’s the thing. When I broke up with him, I thought he was a DA. But upon reflection, I came to realize that his putting his hands on me was not a DA attachment. Then I come to find out about the secret baby, the cheating, the SA, endangering my bodily health. I reflected on the number of times he gaslit, shut down, stonewalled, and raged at me when I was upset or brought up a need.
Trust me, I would have LOVED to have been with a DA over a narcissist any day.
@@lisalambert81865dismissive avoidant is the Least likely attachment style for a narcissistic to have.. it's not impossible but the traits are opposite. Narcs are about big needs and using others, so they usually have either of the the other two attachment styles.
@charliebotz the vulnerable/covert narc shuts others down because they believe they have suffered more than you and therefore your emotions don't count (in their mind). They want all the attention and supply for themselves. Supply means validation and attention.. they fill up their emotional gas tank and get further at the expense of everyone else around them.
@@ashton1952 no it’s most likely that they are one or the other because the traits are similar. There are only a few things that differ the two.
Many videos have the close comparisons. Me and my therapist have been doing a lot of looking into it because adhd autism and just plan out trauma can look or have similar traits as a narcissist.
What if both have narcissistic tendencies?
It exists.. if both are grandiose the fight in the street looks like a potential ww3
Thank you for reminding me why I'm out!!!
The timing on this one
How should we view someone who apologizes, even in writing, but repeatedly engages in the same harmful behavior? Does that apology hold any real value if it's not followed by meaningful change?
Repentance without change is not true repentance!
Thank you so much for this video.
Gaslighting...walking double standard...projecting their own self-hate....I don't understand why you suddenly made this political video about Donald Trump 🤔
I started to send this to my very narcissistic ex, the I realized, she'll just flip it to where I'm the narcissist, and he is talking about me!!
Classic manipulation.
Every time my husband asks me how I’m feeling and me opening up and telling why I’m feeling what I’m feeling, in a kind way, the response that almost always follows is “yeah but what about me? You are not the only one feeling this way?! “ and then he starts speaking about himself, my eyes get wet because I want to cry and then he gets even more emotional towards me. I don’t get why he has this reaction? Why would you ask someone about their feelings if you don’t care ? Can anyone explain me this?
Perfectly described 💯‼️Thank you for your empathetic mission and your dedication to this community 🙏🏼😌🙋🏻♂️
Thank you, Jimmy... You have been a blessing, and a safe place to reassure myself, get some strenght back to get up and keep going, and learn. God bless you... 🙏🏽
I appreciate this man cares for me
When they get angry with you because you reacted towards something hurtfult they said. The bible tells us what true love is in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 .. thats how I knew they didn't love me.
I've been navigating this for 18+ months. What happens when they call you out on gray rocking and disengaging, projecting onto yoh that you're the reason the relationship is dying?
This is the best expressive example of what I have ever been able to hear, and know for sure that I was not the abuser. Finally! Thank you so very, very much for speaking for me. I don't feel as imprisoned and guilty now.
"I'm not a good girlfriend" 🙄 I got so sick of hearing that every time I brought my feelings up. But now that it's over and I've had time to self reflect and study the situation - No, no you weren't a good girlfriend.
I want to thank jimmy for his videos that have really helped in my self-help journey, and I can't thank him enough
It has been 30 years. I have been destroyed. There is no way I can leave and be able to take care of myself now. You are right. But too late for me.
I struggle alot when people say i deserve better , cause my mind always goes immediately to " oh thats what they say to everybody, hes a mental health expert hes forced to say those things"
But i guess that if we are the ones looking at this videos and not seeing them with our partner or our relationship brought us to this video is sufficient empirical evidence that something is clearly wrong with our partner
Single now for 2 months after a 4.5 year relationship that you summarized in a 17 minute video.
Thank you Jimmy. Your videos have helped me sort out my feelings and thoughts over the last few months because gaslighting, manipulation and emotional violence can make you lose perspective.
Your videos are always to the point.
I was so deeply unhappy for so many years and was firmly convinced that I was the problem. Yet I wanted to fix, heal, find solutions and did everything imaginable to save it.
I finally understood everything and put it behind me. It felt like I had suddenly woken up. When I was ready to end the relationship, he ended it at that moment too, so it was a mutual separation. I left that to his ego too.
But he didn't get the hug he wanted from me the day I moved out of the apartment we shared. It's not a separation on good terms, it's a peaceful separation. But there is no longer any friendship or trust.
I feel so good now and my stomach pain is nearly gone since that day.
I will recommend your videos to others.
Best regards from Berlin 😊
I went "Grey rock" on him almost two years ago....why do I feel bad all the time now like I'm neglecting him.😕
Because you’re a giver
@ljc you've been manipulated, it's normal for a good person to feel like that when it comes to dealing with this type of disorder, but don't because it's utterly beyond your duty to have to be their mommy. You have to take care of you and two way street relationships, not obligated to give everything in order to feed leeches.
My ex said, if you don’t like it, leave, so after hearing that over and over I finally did.
I just listened and cried and i know what i have to do but i am frozen and I'm not sure when i will choose me
i fell for a person because he seemed to be the opposite of adults and patters that i grew up with and had contact with growing up. but as soon as he started to change and his actions and behaviour started reminding me more and more of my father and sometimes mother, or other uncomfortable patters of behaviour i saw or experienced from adults growing up, i started to not want to be around him or interact with him more and more. he was becoming unsafe and my body was catching onto that before my mind. i made it clear to myself that if i ever will get attracted to a person it's gonna be the opposite of the people/adults i was growing up with
Even after you leave they won’t stop. When I have to interact with my ex after years together she cannot help herself but to find ways to add insult to injury with the things she says. Such as saying “remember it was your choice to leave” after being subjected to years of abuse and toxic environment making.
In her eyes it’s still/all my fault that the relationship failed. Yet the very fact she refuses to stop to think about the words coming out of her mouth continues to reinforce that it is indeed intentional to some extent.
It’s amazing how she can find a way of sidetracking the topic of discussion bringing it back to money in some means… it’s legitimately all she ever cared about 😢
I really appreciate you making this video.
My ex-narc actually did tell me how much he didn't care.
I definitely feel abandoned when i reach out and they hurt and shame me
"I guess I just can't do anything right"
Thank you for your videos.
You are such a gem
I don’t deserve this
I love you 💟❤
Thank you!
So true
💯 💯 💯
Does adhd look like narcissism?
Apparently some similarities.. ADD is simply daydreaming or having difficulty focussing whilst a narc ignores the person in order to manipulate them and it's out of disregard and disrespect, or total anxiety about evaluating a new person or situation and how to dominate it and or not be exposed as a fake. ADD person is not even thinking about manipulating someone.. usually wandering mentally and trying to focus when they realize they were drifting off into thinking about a million different things other than what's in front of them at the time.
❤
I found the true problem is not the narcissistic person around you. The true problem is why you are still holding on to those relationships?
Sometimes people are worried about their kids, sometimes they can't find a decent job and simply move out... But yes after recognizing it one has to make the best decision possible, leave or at least grey rock
My ex refused to give me a divorce, he wouldn't open bank account, I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about my home life and he was reading all my emails and communication...in his country where I couldn't speak the language at the time. Thank God I had a part-time job (ex used to even follow me to work at times, he was that controlling) and luckily my boss opened a back account for me.. because I found a way to escape to a woman's residence. My stalker ex even tried to get in there but the owner lady was watching and ready to call the cops 😅 eventually he gave up. I lost everything and even have two marriage certificates, that say different things, but I got free, and that meant everything at that moment. Thank God.
I literally just finished meditating and journaling this morning where I wrote that I keep seeing the numbers 11:11 and read that it could be the universe trying to nudge you. I also wrote that I was open to anything that came my way and would consider all possibilities. Then your video came up when I started my workout. 🤔