Poundland Food Special - Pizza Snack

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  • Опубліковано 11 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @letscringe9727
    @letscringe9727 10 років тому +4411

    that pizza looks like a pizza from the Sims 2 on low res

    • @bwatever
      @bwatever 10 років тому +50

      omg that made me laugh so hard x'D

    • @sierrabunnyz9393
      @sierrabunnyz9393 10 років тому +30

      Hmmm... Strangely true... Lol

    • @sierrabunnyz9393
      @sierrabunnyz9393 10 років тому +1

      :P

    • @wolliveryoutube
      @wolliveryoutube 10 років тому +23

      It's a shame I don't have anything clever to say. If I did, I don't think I can top you anyway.

    • @joshbacon8241
      @joshbacon8241 7 років тому +6

      Let's Cringe I am the 100th person to like this comment!

  • @AndreSthegeekydude
    @AndreSthegeekydude 4 роки тому +613

    2011: "Ewww, unexpired microwave pizza, man the stuff this Ashens guy puts up with!"
    2020: 50 year old ox tongue

    • @TheHutchy01
      @TheHutchy01 3 роки тому +68

      The difference is the ox tongues were once food, fuck knows what this was.

    • @frds_skce
      @frds_skce 2 роки тому +19

      Anything body part of animal is better than processed food

    • @SockyNoob
      @SockyNoob 6 місяців тому

      ​@@frds_skce not if it's a penis

    • @stahlwerk812
      @stahlwerk812 3 місяці тому

      @@TheHutchy01the pizza used to be chemical residue from a petroleum processing plant I think

  • @dja3116
    @dja3116 5 років тому +2558

    I was utterly horrified when he showed that the expiration date was in 2011... until I checked the upload date and saw that this video is actually from 8 years ago.Then again, I suppose it would be more reasonable for the pizza to look like that if it was 8 years old.

    • @YusuphYT
      @YusuphYT 5 років тому +10

      yeah me too... was a little worried lol

    • @Mecrom
      @Mecrom 5 років тому +57

      The camera quality is incredible for 2011

    • @raihanali3427
      @raihanali3427 5 років тому +70

      Mecrom it’s kind of funny how people assume that 2011 era had such shit camera quality. Remember that near the 2000s, 1080p was a thing so by no doubt 2011 would definitely have 1080p

    • @SuperFunkmachine
      @SuperFunkmachine 5 років тому +64

      @@raihanali3427 UA-cam an internet up speeds tended to murder the resolution for years. While you could get 720p, half of that 360p was common.

    • @boost24
      @boost24 4 роки тому +2

      Henry Byrd I love his vids lol

  • @Setheroph1
    @Setheroph1 2 роки тому +511

    11 Years on and I can guarantee that Pizza Snack would look exactly the same today as it does in the thumbnail.

    • @larrymantic2635
      @larrymantic2635 2 роки тому +8

      Yikes…

    • @JoeMama-me2yj
      @JoeMama-me2yj Рік тому +26

      A buddy of mine actually had one in his house for a year,it legit looked the exact same as the day he bought it...he was about to eat it and then saw the date as he then told me...that is horrendous

    • @thepuffinman1055
      @thepuffinman1055 Рік тому

      I concur

    • @magmasoul4001
      @magmasoul4001 Рік тому

      Agreed

    • @spacecat77
      @spacecat77 Рік тому +2

      @@JoeMama-me2yj mmmmmm, highly preserved cheap food

  • @Mistardmuster
    @Mistardmuster 7 років тому +967

    I used to watch these in college while eating lunch i got from a campus vending machine and sitting in the darkest recesses of the oldest concrete-est building there to make myself feel more thankful for my own shitty food. Thanks for the memories dude.

    • @chipser9574
      @chipser9574 5 років тому +34

      beautiful comment

    • @xRizWaynex
      @xRizWaynex 4 роки тому +12

      Hahahaha me too xD
      Such dark times :')

    • @flipkiller8521
      @flipkiller8521 4 роки тому +14

      Sounds like a Vietcong experience.

    • @Snake_2066
      @Snake_2066 4 роки тому +4

      holy shit i am so glad i am not the only one who did this!!!!

    • @mitchymitch2169
      @mitchymitch2169 4 роки тому +3

      shitty food is the fuel of my life.

  • @HenrikoMagnifico
    @HenrikoMagnifico 2 роки тому +105

    The pizza looks like someone took a model of a pizza from a PS1 game and imported it into reality

  • @taze-1106
    @taze-1106 4 роки тому +736

    This is 9 years old and he hasn’t changed one bit

  • @user-go4mn4hq2t
    @user-go4mn4hq2t 4 роки тому +176

    roughly every 7 months or so without fail i get suggested and rewatch the exact same ashens videos including this, the chicken in a can, trekking burger and a few christmas specials. timeless videos

    • @redcastlefan
      @redcastlefan 2 роки тому +3

      I'm on this years rewatch

    • @emeraldhill8294
      @emeraldhill8294 2 роки тому

      @@redcastlefan Never seen this one before; i want the cow,

    • @manya1088
      @manya1088 Рік тому +1

      my childhood

    • @homonovus2505
      @homonovus2505 Рік тому

      Amen! Those videos are absolute classics. I watched chicken in a can and trekking burger last night with two friends, laughed just as hard as the first time 😂

    • @CrazyBlonde13
      @CrazyBlonde13 Рік тому

      chicken in a can is my personal fav

  • @ChoppingtonOtter
    @ChoppingtonOtter 8 років тому +869

    Preparation guidelines: 1 Remove from packaging. 2. Put packaging and entire contents in bin.

    • @Jase_Gaming
      @Jase_Gaming 8 років тому +59

      3. then go and fucking get dominos you cheapass

    • @tylerstafford5731
      @tylerstafford5731 8 років тому +17

      Jase The G. Fighter 4. Go get help from a doctor or health professional

    • @MuchWhittering
      @MuchWhittering 8 років тому +23

      This. Why would I go to Domino's when I could go to an independent place and get a pizza that's twice as nice for half the money?

    • @thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154
      @thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154 8 років тому +5

      two steps ? just put the unopened package straight in the bin ! better still don't buy it in the first place !

    • @SuperIcyPhoenix
      @SuperIcyPhoenix 8 років тому

      thehappylittlefox aka benji why are you spacing your punctuation from words?

  • @WH250398
    @WH250398 7 років тому +597

    "Made in italy" is most likely a reference to the plastic bag.

    • @samsum3738
      @samsum3738 4 роки тому +28

      Now there s a thought .

    • @nequastar1826
      @nequastar1826 2 роки тому +29

      I'd hope so, but something tells me there's still some factory in Italy cranking these things out to this very day, and some poor sod is out there, in a sad lonely kitchen, unwrapping one, and placing it into his cockroach infested microwave, sitting down at a rickety table, and eating it as his only meal of the day, before dragging himself to bed, and drowning his sorrows with a case of cheap Italian lager, passing out, dreading his dead end job the following morning.

    • @peterclarke7240
      @peterclarke7240 2 роки тому +7

      I feel seen.

    • @sirgideonofnirtheall-knowi1881
      @sirgideonofnirtheall-knowi1881 2 роки тому +4

      @@nequastar1826 What a depressing picture you have painted here.

    • @nequastar1826
      @nequastar1826 2 роки тому +5

      @@sirgideonofnirtheall-knowi1881 I’m rather good at that, heh

  • @ZimVader-0017
    @ZimVader-0017 8 років тому +646

    That pizza looks like the one they would give us at lunch at school. Then they wondered why the attendance at the lunchroom dropped significantly when they announced that pizza was that day's menu.

    • @gothicanimegirl44
      @gothicanimegirl44 8 років тому +58

      Zim Vader0017 the pizza was one of the only edible things that came out of our schools lunchroom

    • @ZimVader-0017
      @ZimVader-0017 8 років тому +76

      I heard from my sister that they stopped serving pizzas some months ago because the students were sneaking them out of the lunchroom and using them as frisbees outside XD

    • @adrianalemar2710
      @adrianalemar2710 8 років тому +19

      Zim Vader0017 no where I live when they serve pizza
      its fucking armageddon in the lunchroom

    • @michaelhall736
      @michaelhall736 8 років тому +19

      Zim Vader0017 The pizzas at the school I went to were decent.

    • @leonreynolds77
      @leonreynolds77 5 років тому +7

      The pizza at my school were the best! Guess I was lucky.

  • @hotelmario510
    @hotelmario510 7 років тому +1203

    "The Nauseating Taste of the Anti-Pizza" is a great name for a progressive rock band and/or album.

    • @lawrencecalablaster568
      @lawrencecalablaster568 6 років тому +48

      hotelmario510 That would go perfectly with Chocolate Starfish & The Hot-Dog Flavoured Water.

    • @dylanbarclay7622
      @dylanbarclay7622 6 років тому +10

      Or a JK Rowling book 🤔😂

    • @Kid_ACognito
      @Kid_ACognito 6 років тому +4

      I believe that's the third release from the Alex Trebek Project

    • @bigboyzak
      @bigboyzak 5 років тому +1

      Lawrence Calablaster penguinz0 ?

    • @Scrubworks
      @Scrubworks 5 років тому +1

      @@lawrencecalablaster568 I can't see prog-rock and nu-metal working together somehow.

  • @dinovictor5
    @dinovictor5 10 років тому +1461

    I have essentially watched this video over 30 times. And I am still entertained to this day.

    • @LD-yt1uy
      @LD-yt1uy 10 років тому +75

      Well you do have a Cod Ghosts pic as your profile picture, so I'm not surprised.

    • @blcoot
      @blcoot 10 років тому +54

      Liam Donaldson I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to have a certain profile picture, this is my old UA-cam account which I only use to watch videos, so if you would kindly, fuck off, that would be fantastic!

    • @EatMeGoogleStopChangingShit
      @EatMeGoogleStopChangingShit 10 років тому +39

      Liam Donaldson Seeing how you have NO profile picture, you don't really have room to be talking, do you, lad?

    • @johntitor7989
      @johntitor7989 10 років тому +2

      Yes I agree.

    • @DemonSnacks
      @DemonSnacks 10 років тому +4

      Blackout Edits He burned you, quit being so whiny.

  • @ch48_
    @ch48_ 9 років тому +217

    "Great, the cow is constipated after the first jelly bean"
    ~Stuart Ashen, 2011

  • @tjrizzo4642
    @tjrizzo4642 9 років тому +2502

    is anyone else binge watching ashens food videos?

    • @arnold20139
      @arnold20139 9 років тому +3

      I am! :D

    • @YerfdogGames
      @YerfdogGames 9 років тому +31

      I started watching him a week ago and now I'm addicted

    • @Noremaad
      @Noremaad 9 років тому +20

      ***** We must mourn another soul joining us in the eternal purgatory that is Ashens. Forever will his mind be lost in the bog of cheap tat, as are we all.

    • @theaegis5795
      @theaegis5795 9 років тому

      ***** same here!

    • @OverdriveXRSPS
      @OverdriveXRSPS 9 років тому

      Tj Morris yes

  • @YFNGamer1
    @YFNGamer1 7 років тому +347

    Thats a frozen Italian MRE from World War 2.

    • @plushifoxed
      @plushifoxed 5 років тому +39

      The Interesting Nobody let's get this out onto a tray
      nice

    • @ramaglas
      @ramaglas 5 років тому +7

      @@plushifoxed i see what you did there. Lol feels nice not to be alone

    • @christophercharles3602
      @christophercharles3602 5 років тому +8

      There was a nice hiss on this one

    • @PyroPepo
      @PyroPepo 4 роки тому +3

      @@plushifoxed *Is that a steve reference?*
      *nice*

    • @neonaffliction
      @neonaffliction 4 роки тому +6

      @@plushifoxed mmmmkay

  • @lewis72
    @lewis72 9 років тому +657

    It is with very heavy heart that I have to announce that the Poundland Pizza does not seem to be available any more.
    I'm sure that you will all be shocked and deeply saddened by this terrible news.
    I will be here for those of you who wish to open your heart about this terrible loss and remember the good times.
    Bless you all.

    • @thatone846
      @thatone846 9 років тому +21

      :( why lewis? Why did this have to happen! WHY!!!

    • @lewis72
      @lewis72 9 років тому +47

      Jacob Parsons
      I know, I know.
      Utterly devastating.
      I'm still trying to come to terms with this deadful loss myself.
      We must be strong though and soldier on.

    • @footymad2027
      @footymad2027 9 років тому +26

      but I love the poundland pizza more than my child!

    • @_hotpocket295
      @_hotpocket295 9 років тому +2

      You can still get hunger strikes pots at asda

    • @CJODell12
      @CJODell12 9 років тому +1

      +William Daintree Hunger Breaks.

  • @9wowable
    @9wowable 8 років тому +1130

    How the fuck was this 5 years ago, like how. His videos hasn't changed at all.

    • @AlienTin
      @AlienTin 8 років тому +69

      Haven't

    • @9wowable
      @9wowable 8 років тому +28

      Jake Williams oh shit yeah xd, I posted that comment at 1 am though.

    • @Jason0binladen
      @Jason0binladen 8 років тому +2

      +László videos don't change either, unless you edit it and re-upload it

    • @aquoslover200
      @aquoslover200 8 років тому +103

      Which is because they're already perfect. Brown tattered couch and all.

    • @Aliandergaming
      @Aliandergaming 8 років тому +49

      That's the trick. Why change a running system? :D

  • @Hikarmeme
    @Hikarmeme 9 років тому +219

    "luckily it didn't land anywhere dirty"
    like that even matters

    • @katfujioka212
      @katfujioka212 9 років тому +34

      Dirt would probably make it taste better tbh

    • @Hikarmeme
      @Hikarmeme 9 років тому +20

      Kei Fujioka it probably already contains it

    • @MisterMajora
      @MisterMajora 9 років тому +9

      +Hikari it looks like someone threw up blood and mouldy chunks on a hunk of shitty bread.

    • @Hikarmeme
      @Hikarmeme 9 років тому +9

      MisterMajora Its someones cancer tumor thats been flattened and cooked

    • @MisterMajora
      @MisterMajora 9 років тому +2

      +Hikari yeah basically xD

  • @noahbaker5192
    @noahbaker5192 3 роки тому +116

    My favorite thing about ashens is when you stumble on a video, you can't tell whether it's from 10 years ago or yesterday unless you check the date. He's the most consistent content creator I've ever seen.

    • @TechnicalJimActual
      @TechnicalJimActual 3 місяці тому +1

      Not really. His videos look more vibrant, well-lit, & he no longer has to fight with the camera's auto-focus.

  • @MrWolfSnack
    @MrWolfSnack Рік тому +15

    3:30 the soft "plunk" of the pizza onto the dish, the dead silence with only a small sniffle, and staring at this dog vomit on a bun....what a beautifully filmed moment.

  • @yolo229fak4
    @yolo229fak4 3 роки тому +81

    That pizza snack whatever the hell seems like something you'd eat in fallout and gain +100 rad

    • @jinn8465
      @jinn8465 3 роки тому +10

      I can hear the geiger counter now.

    • @faenethlorhalien
      @faenethlorhalien Місяць тому

      You made me laugh, you magnificent bastard. Get my upvote.

  • @adronnmusic
    @adronnmusic 10 років тому +665

    Best names of the century:
    Jeff
    JimBob
    Montague
    Lance Corporal Fozzington
    The Man With A Plan
    Mick

    • @Mick_92
      @Mick_92 9 років тому +4

      Haha

    • @JaySweatshirt
      @JaySweatshirt 9 років тому +27

      Chef excellence

    • @edgyskullface2154
      @edgyskullface2154 9 років тому +5

      Yin Yang Jeff excellence?

    • @Mick_92
      @Mick_92 9 років тому +32

      "An excellent name"

    • @josef733
      @josef733 9 років тому +1

      Joey Cirrito Who is Lance Corporal Fozzington?

  • @cthrugrl
    @cthrugrl 4 роки тому +91

    just randomly got this old ass video in my recommendeds. one time i was stuck at the hospital at three in the morning due to my sick grandfather. the hospital kitchen was closed as was every restaurant in convenient distance, but on the far end of the hospital was a vending machine that had one of these pizzas in it, and because it was the only thing approaching real food i bought and ate it. suffice it to say that was probably the worst meal ive ever had in my life

    • @xkyleprivatex815
      @xkyleprivatex815 4 роки тому +3

      how much did it cost

    • @bannedthricelol8799
      @bannedthricelol8799 4 роки тому +27

      @@xkyleprivatex815 his will to live

    • @henrijs1733
      @henrijs1733 3 роки тому +3

      @@bannedthricelol8799 his appetite for life

    • @jiajiajiaism
      @jiajiajiaism 3 роки тому +2

      Was in a similar situation once, only at a train station and with a meat patty which had a best by date of over a year ahead, but didn't need refrigeration. Wasn't freeze-dried though, you could just eat it out of the packet without heating it up or adding water.

    • @peterclarke7240
      @peterclarke7240 3 роки тому +3

      Spots the pizza: his dignity.
      Pays for pizza: his sense of self-worth.
      Eats the pizza: his very soul.

  • @rabidrabbitshuggers
    @rabidrabbitshuggers 10 років тому +181

    I was going to make a joke about British cuisine, until Ashens dutifully noted that it was made in Italy.
    Now I'm just at a fucking loss for words.

  • @samosmapper9687
    @samosmapper9687 8 років тому +346

    The pizza is aggressive.

  • @sodaddict
    @sodaddict 4 роки тому +177

    Where are they now:
    Jeff: Died from a drug overdose, labelled as a suicide
    Jim Bob: Arrested for hate speech and sexual misconduct
    Montegeaux: Decapitated by Ashens
    Lance Corporal Fuzzington: Lead his battalion to the war against Kim Jon Un, became a historical war hero
    The Man with a Plan: Lead to unsuccessful careers as a professional wrestler, rapper, and porn star. Now works at the Blockbuster museum
    Mick: Overcame cancer and now works as an advocate for stem cell research

    • @plebisMaximus
      @plebisMaximus 4 роки тому +20

      I'm sure working at the Blockbuster museum was the plan all along.

    • @theextracrispycolonel9504
      @theextracrispycolonel9504 4 роки тому +8

      But can you truly be unsuccessful
      If you always have a plan?

    • @em5345-
      @em5345- 4 роки тому +2

      The sequel will focus on Mick and The Man With A Plan

    • @em5345-
      @em5345- 4 роки тому +1

      The prequel will focus on Lance's backstory.

    • @babsbylow6869
      @babsbylow6869 3 роки тому +2

      Nice!
      The Breakfast Club ending.

  • @liltoon4335
    @liltoon4335 4 роки тому +150

    Pizzetta actually does mean “small pizza”, ashens is a Roman emperor confirmed

    • @Tokmurok
      @Tokmurok 4 роки тому +7

      Not same word in Latin try again

    • @liltoon4335
      @liltoon4335 4 роки тому +4

      @@Tokmurok why you tryna shit on my parade

    • @diobrando1736
      @diobrando1736 3 роки тому +5

      @D'niro Gavin Either you're pulling my strings, or you're an absolute lunatic. The Roman's main languages were Latin and Greek if you weren't joking.

    • @HolyKhaaaaan
      @HolyKhaaaaan 3 роки тому +5

      He certainly has the accent to be an imperious and sarcastic Roman.

    • @liltoon4335
      @liltoon4335 3 роки тому +1

      Kinda mad I got a hundred likes
      Subscribe guys

  • @obscurareborn
    @obscurareborn 8 років тому +148

    "Store in a cool dry place...like a bin..."

    • @hamzerpanzer
      @hamzerpanzer 3 роки тому

      @@iixxxii7xxxii582 Bin smoothie

  • @theodorelehman
    @theodorelehman 4 роки тому +45

    "A rogues gallery of freakazoids."
    This also describes my co-workers at a few of the temp jobs I had.

  • @teknikal_domain
    @teknikal_domain 8 років тому +102

    "Made by a company called pizzetta"
    That's not how Italian works...

  • @NespeCoaching
    @NespeCoaching 4 роки тому +43

    8 years later and I can confirm that Poundland still sell these crimes against pizzakind.
    I can also confirm they are no better than they were.

    • @ACOnetwork
      @ACOnetwork 4 роки тому +2

      That is actual crime to people ☹️😒😋

  • @Gamerchick221
    @Gamerchick221 8 років тому +341

    It looks like vomit on bread.

    • @RevorDragon
      @RevorDragon 8 років тому +12

      +Gamerchick221 I'm not convinced it isn't.

    • @Gamerchick221
      @Gamerchick221 8 років тому +2

      +Water Saga Would you eat it?

    • @RevorDragon
      @RevorDragon 8 років тому +16

      Gamerchick221 Well, if i was starving.... I think i'd eat my fingers first.

    • @Gamerchick221
      @Gamerchick221 8 років тому +4

      +Water Saga Smart. lol

    • @TrashPitFoxGirl
      @TrashPitFoxGirl 5 років тому +1

      Maybe it *is* vomit on bread..?

  • @Armadurapersonal
    @Armadurapersonal 8 років тому +339

    Packed in China? That means the candy was shipped from Ireland to China for packaging and then back to the UK for selling?

    • @afunnyman
      @afunnyman 8 років тому +69

      It's poundland, they didn't ship them for long scale production, they likely bought it from cheap providers
      with all sorts of guff.

    • @juniorbr1179
      @juniorbr1179 8 років тому +3

      What's your profile picture from alek?

    • @painfullystoic3297
      @painfullystoic3297 8 років тому +3

      shijou takane from idolmaster series

    • @worldcure7883
      @worldcure7883 5 років тому +28

      @@juniorbr1179 a photo in fact the last known photo of notable Rabbinic influencer Sammal El Hayad before entering a firearms range to prepare and pray for success with his 2017 Easter Massacre.

    • @toogaytolift9176
      @toogaytolift9176 4 роки тому

      @@worldcure7883 can I have a link to this because I literally cant find it anywhere

  • @lunerd
    @lunerd 11 років тому +18

    I seriously love his dog just sniffed it before taking two steps back. Then looked at the camera as if saying 'Seriously?'

    • @Wemius61
      @Wemius61 10 місяців тому +1

      Same - and just as the video cut out it looked as though doglet was about to do that shovelling motion with its nose that they do when they're trying to bury something.

  • @emmahallows
    @emmahallows 7 років тому +124

    "Unfortunately I don't have a microwave that can directly heat time" died 1000 times at that rip me

  • @MrAlex3461
    @MrAlex3461 8 років тому +85

    "store in a cool dry place like the bin"

  • @ethervagabond
    @ethervagabond 6 років тому +132

    "Oh blimey it shot across the room!" the pizza is agressive

    • @smiler..bestie2083
      @smiler..bestie2083 6 років тому +6

      What an original comment lol

    • @taylorberry1735
      @taylorberry1735 3 роки тому +5

      "Oh Shit!"

    • @DynoSkrimisher
      @DynoSkrimisher 3 роки тому +3

      "Just another day in the life of Jimmy Nutron."
      *Musical distort*

    • @uwu_smeg
      @uwu_smeg 2 роки тому +1

      i'd be lashing out if i was confined to that kind of existence as well

  • @cross2four
    @cross2four 5 років тому +84

    7 years later: Still no smell on UA-cam. Thank God.

  • @nickwillard4471
    @nickwillard4471 2 роки тому +12

    Imagine finding a video format so successful that it feels fresh more than a decade later. This video feels as modern as one released yesterday.

  • @moxgirl5
    @moxgirl5 8 років тому +188

    "Let's name them, shall we? Jeff, Jimbob, Montague, Lance Corporal Fozzington, The Man With The Plan and Mick" Brilliant xD

    • @Jaytwisty23
      @Jaytwisty23 4 роки тому +3

      Yeah we heard, we watched the video too 🤦

    • @Jaytwisty23
      @Jaytwisty23 4 роки тому +1

      @D'niro Gavin completely pointless though ain't it as we've already watched it 🤦

    • @themysteriouscatperson9483
      @themysteriouscatperson9483 4 роки тому +4

      Iamthedanger
      Bro, what’s you’re problem, people just like what they hear in the video, think it’s funny, and single it out, it’s just people having fun, you need to chill out

    • @Jaytwisty23
      @Jaytwisty23 4 роки тому +1

      @@themysteriouscatperson9483 it's 'your' problem, not 'you're' learn to spell. And it's a rediculous thing to comment 🤦

    • @themysteriouscatperson9483
      @themysteriouscatperson9483 4 роки тому

      Iamthedanger
      Why are you focusing on one part of my comment instead of the entire point, a simple misspelling doesn’t forgive you for being a dick

  • @mamaweegee123
    @mamaweegee123 3 роки тому +17

    The fact that I remember watching this when it first got uploaded and then looking at the upload date now really puts it into perspective how fast life actually moves

  • @GrandmasterofWin
    @GrandmasterofWin 8 років тому +27

    Ashens would be perfect to have around in a post apocalyptic setting. You'd be eating whatever garbage you could find but at least you'd be entertained.

  • @jokunortti
    @jokunortti 7 років тому +103

    In Finland we call those "roiskeläppä" which roughly translates to "splatter flap".

    • @krashd
      @krashd 6 років тому +38

      Sounds like a slang word for labia.

    • @Dinoslay
      @Dinoslay 5 років тому +6

      There is also the term called "laatta" which either describes a tile or a flat pool of vomit.

    • @Takimeko
      @Takimeko 3 роки тому +1

      Splatter Flap would be a good band name.

    • @uwu_smeg
      @uwu_smeg 2 роки тому

      always thought it was "mudflap" since the nickname comes from the automotive part. the cheap ones are my jam, and somehow manage to look nicer than the poundland ones despite being (presumably) cheaper for quite a long time. i'd still try that though

  • @KaTzaNdSTuFf
    @KaTzaNdSTuFf 11 років тому +40

    XD He always has some sarcastic comment that makes me nearly fall out of my chair. For this video: "Twist head down to open. Wow, just like a real cow!" XD

  • @alien.anarchist
    @alien.anarchist 8 років тому +547

    3:23 THE PIZZA IS AGGRESSIVE

  • @The5thVienneseSchool
    @The5thVienneseSchool 11 років тому +67

    We have a store called Dollar Tree here in the United States where all the garbage costs $1. It's just about as bad. Being poor and stupid as I am I made the mistake of purchasing their "Jalapeño Cheese Bites." I rightfully deserved that food poisoning they gave me.

    • @3DSuperWaffle
      @3DSuperWaffle 11 років тому +37

      In Canada, we have Dollarama.
      Same story.
      NEVER. BUY. THE. MAYONNAISE.

    • @bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819
      @bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819 Рік тому +6

      @@3DSuperWaffle Sounds like someone who bought the mayonnaise.

    • @sabrearashi302
      @sabrearashi302 Рік тому +6

      I bought and ate the similar potato cheese bites Dollar Tree had on offer, but fortunately I prepared them in my air fryer, so apparently it nuked any disease and I was spared.
      They were still awful.

    • @MrWolfSnack
      @MrWolfSnack Рік тому +2

      they still sell those snapps jalapeno poppers. they used to sell cheese sticks, i haven't seen them anymore. they were OK if you had about a gallon of tomato sauce to dip them with, but whatever cheap cheese was in them, my colon didn't like that. was ill for about 2 days. it happened both times i ate them a few years apart, so I said nope.

  • @blxze6023
    @blxze6023 4 роки тому +21

    5:45 anyone hear him call for his dog Oscar? cute af

  • @jeremyfisher42
    @jeremyfisher42 9 років тому +68

    Whenever I feel hungry I go back to this video

    • @CaleyWarrior101
      @CaleyWarrior101 9 років тому +22

      My new diet plan

    • @diamondfailer11
      @diamondfailer11 8 років тому +3

      I am so hungry right now i would eat that pizza as a whole.

    • @DudeTheMighty
      @DudeTheMighty 8 років тому +1

      Whenever I feel hungry, I get something to eat.
      (If you're worried about calories, eat some vegetables. Loads of nutrients and it'd be pretty damn hard to eat too many of them. ^_^)

    • @DudeTheMighty
      @DudeTheMighty 8 років тому +8

      ***** Yes.

  • @blocklandalpha
    @blocklandalpha 9 років тому +155

    *_The Man With A Plan_*

  • @wasted.experience
    @wasted.experience 5 років тому +7

    Coming back to this after all these years, and it's amazing to me how little has changed on this channel. I love you Stewart. "Platonically."

  • @hmorris09123
    @hmorris09123 11 років тому +15

    i nearly died when he said "i don't know What that is but its holding a time bomb so im not going to argue with it" XD

  • @Matt19matt19
    @Matt19matt19 9 років тому +544

    store in a cool, dry place.... like the bin 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @isaacbrown7829
      @isaacbrown7829 9 років тому

      +Matt N HA

    • @Mostly_Childish
      @Mostly_Childish 9 років тому +1

      +A Wrinkly Fod This isn't the escapists! Don't you HA me!

    • @isaacbrown7829
      @isaacbrown7829 9 років тому +1

      Jack NO! but i was giving a HA to Matt N, also, ancient comment is ancient

    • @Mostly_Childish
      @Mostly_Childish 9 років тому

      A Wrinkly Fod
      I know, I was just making a funny, besides, it was about a week old. Ancient is a year. IMO.

    • @rune1909gamer
      @rune1909gamer 9 років тому

      +Jack NO! So you're telling me this video is essentially prehistoric for you?

  • @guppyfishdaniel
    @guppyfishdaniel 10 років тому +84

    These "disgusting food" specials ACTUALLY make me hungry!

  • @MiniMii550
    @MiniMii550 Рік тому +5

    My favorite thing about Ashens is that he's the most consistent UA-camr, I does not matter one bit how old the video is, production quality and content is exactly the same and is in absolutely no need of improvement

  • @zackl2000
    @zackl2000 8 років тому +39

    As a famous person once said. "It's pizza time dude!" - a mutated turtle

    • @em5345-
      @em5345- 4 роки тому

      Ah yes, the famous artist and pizza eater

    • @Curlyheart
      @Curlyheart 4 роки тому

      Pizza time

  • @ActuallyTragic
    @ActuallyTragic 9 років тому +40

    "A flying pizza!"
    Dad, the pizza is aggressive!

  • @guy7285
    @guy7285 9 років тому +75

    That pepperoni pizza looks like one of the really nasty bacteria cultures we grow in lab at my university.

    • @chris86simon
      @chris86simon 9 років тому +6

      +Astra Militarum I actually thought that was mold.

    • @dontwatchtheworldburn3673
      @dontwatchtheworldburn3673 9 років тому +8

      +chris86simon I Can't Believe It's Not Mold.

    • @sneakycactus8815
      @sneakycactus8815 9 років тому

      +Don'tWatchTheWorldBURN hahaha lol nice one. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER except it's ur way

    • @slayerficated
      @slayerficated 9 років тому

      +JT Smith Thanks for the explanation, Sherlock.

  • @Name2site
    @Name2site 7 років тому +10

    "Yeah there's something horrible going on in my mouth. And I'm not reading the script to a Michael Bay film." ROFLMAO. Beautifully put.

  • @derpzilla3302
    @derpzilla3302 5 років тому +40

    0:30 i swear to god if some kid says “aYe lOoK cHeF pEPe”

    • @raph2954
      @raph2954 4 роки тому +6

      The thing is, you must be a kid or recently a kid if you even know what that is.

    • @JunkieRemix
      @JunkieRemix 4 роки тому

      I legit just said that now

    • @BonnieBunny118
      @BonnieBunny118 4 роки тому

      I said that when I was little

    • @ajaxulated6289
      @ajaxulated6289 4 роки тому

      i dont understand this-

    • @destinytipper1834
      @destinytipper1834 4 роки тому +2

      Raph im 19 now and i watch sml with my kid😭

  • @Housesider
    @Housesider 10 років тому +25

    Rofl the pizza looks like a low-res texture from a video game or something.

  • @EvilDoresh
    @EvilDoresh 11 років тому +36

    Real moving parts? I prefer fictional stationary parts.

  • @corbonthec0b
    @corbonthec0b 2 роки тому +5

    7:15
    “Just be glad they don’t have smelling on UA-cam… yet”
    11 years later and we still can’t smell our videos. Come on UA-cam…

  • @MrSauceman09
    @MrSauceman09 10 років тому +10

    "It's constipated after the first jelly bean!" I laughed so hard that I think I released a jelly bean of my own!

  • @peterclarke7240
    @peterclarke7240 2 роки тому +4

    "Luckily, it didn't land anywhere dirty."
    thank christ. I'd hate to think of the poor dirt having THAT thing land on it.

  • @spanglee
    @spanglee 10 років тому +14

    4 years later, still no smell on youtube

  • @MrSlendyMannn
    @MrSlendyMannn Рік тому +8

    3:21 Even the “pizza” itself tried to save you from trying it by attempting to fly away.

  • @ChrisManley1994
    @ChrisManley1994 9 років тому +22

    "Store in a cool dry place..................like the bin!" Hahahahahahahahahaha

  • @whachadoowin
    @whachadoowin Рік тому +15

    Why does the pizza look like a low resolution pizza you'd find in a videogame from the Xbox 360

    • @Madchris8828
      @Madchris8828 Рік тому +3

      That is the most weirldy accurate way to describe it😂

    • @budgerigarer
      @budgerigarer Рік тому +1

      More like something from a late 90s PC game lol

    • @Takimeko
      @Takimeko Рік тому

      Just gotta wait an ungodly amount of time for it's textures to load in.

  • @JoshuaKujo
    @JoshuaKujo 9 років тому +739

    A small pizza would be a Petit-za.

  • @trentgreene2094
    @trentgreene2094 8 місяців тому +2

    Yo! I remember when I was a teenager watching this waking up in the morning before school. It was always the food reviews too. Love ya ashens!

  • @tomsmith4930
    @tomsmith4930 4 роки тому +34

    Ashens: “Here goes the marshmallow”
    Me: *hears crunch*
    Also me: “what the FaWk”

    • @lungse.2565
      @lungse.2565 4 роки тому +5

      The mutant chick had hardened icing on it's head.

    • @SomeRandoQuacko
      @SomeRandoQuacko 3 роки тому +8

      @@lungse.2565 Excuse me, the name's Montague.

  • @DrawContent
    @DrawContent 10 років тому +30

    You're the funniest man in the world. I was hysterical at this video.

    • @MyCoolboy17
      @MyCoolboy17 10 років тому +9

      well then if this made you burst out laughing you aint seen nothing yet

    • @DrawContent
      @DrawContent 10 років тому +7

      Oh I have. Watch the xmas 2012 special. the santa on the swing OMG

  • @slawor4
    @slawor4 8 років тому +30

    I was drinking while you shot the pizza across the room, and now my kitchen is covered in lemonade

  • @Dinoslay
    @Dinoslay 5 років тому +18

    Pizzetta sounds like Vegeta's long lost cousin in Dragon Ball.

  • @nonyabusiness999
    @nonyabusiness999 8 років тому +304

    is that sofa from poundland?

    • @nonyabusiness999
      @nonyabusiness999 8 років тому +64

      +PsykohGames i think jesus used to have it in his first apartment lol.

    • @theunlawfulsponge5908
      @theunlawfulsponge5908 6 років тому +18

      One of the wise men actually brought this couch as a gift to jesus
      Heard of the 5th beatle?
      Yeah this is the 4th wise man

    • @Crurned
      @Crurned 6 років тому +13

      It is where the pounding happens. BADOOM-tss

    • @Emperor_mtn_Dew
      @Emperor_mtn_Dew 5 років тому

      Nah, pound _world_

    • @DarkseidJoshua
      @DarkseidJoshua 5 років тому

      Charity Shop more like

  • @Super_Grobanite
    @Super_Grobanite 9 років тому +55

    "Store in a cool, dry place" That's kind scary considering it's pizza.

  • @ishaunTV
    @ishaunTV 9 років тому +15

    I really must remember to send ashens a bottle of whiskey for whenever he does one of these. Also who else barely heard him call his dog over at 5:45

    • @OMGItzzLuke280502
      @OMGItzzLuke280502 9 років тому +6

      Send him tesco value gin 😂

    • @AgentTasmania
      @AgentTasmania 9 років тому +2

      +OMGItzzLuke pretty sure he still has that bottle from no later than 2010

  • @Amieee
    @Amieee 7 років тому +6

    The thing I love about Ashens is that you can watch a video from 2011 and still piss yourself because it's content is still amazing.

  • @chataclysm2112
    @chataclysm2112 8 років тому +96

    Little did he know he'd be eating much nastier things a few years later.

    • @michaelhall736
      @michaelhall736 8 років тому +14

      chataclysm2112 Like 20 year old canned ham, 50 year old military rations, and canned burgers.

    • @TheHutchy01
      @TheHutchy01 4 роки тому

      Compared to the century egg, that's basically food

  • @Luciffrit
    @Luciffrit 8 років тому +186

    I didn't notice that the first time. "Titanium Oxide" as in the stuff they use to make paint with.

    • @plasticwalnut7650
      @plasticwalnut7650 8 років тому +12

      Oh my fucking GOD, who in the right mind would let that crap in Jelly Beans, of all things?!

    • @Luciffrit
      @Luciffrit 8 років тому +2

      Plastic Walnut mmm eat up. =D

    • @plasticwalnut7650
      @plasticwalnut7650 8 років тому +10

      Anal Prolapse In My Bum When I'm Filled With Cum By Onii-Chan And His Friends While I'm A Cumdump Okay, pardon my ignorance about it then, but don't you think it's a bit much to call me twat? Either way, but I decided to look up on Titanium Dioxide, and it seems there's a large gray area concerning the chemical used in foods, vitamins, and cosmetics. It's generally considered safe by the FDA, but there's been some experiments which shows that it is possibly a carcinogen, a substance which can weaken the immune system. Now that I think about it, since this isn't affecting everyone who uses it, I believe it is possible that it only occurs in certain individuals, depending on what's going on in their body, such as an already weakened immune system and such.

    • @demonetizeddemonetisedinmy1890
      @demonetizeddemonetisedinmy1890 8 років тому +23

      Plastic Walnut Well, bacon increases chances of cancer, but that doesn't stop us.

    • @plasticwalnut7650
      @plasticwalnut7650 8 років тому +1

      Anal Prolapse In My Bum When I'm Filled With Cum By Onii-Chan And His Friends While I'm A Cumdump That's true, and now that I know a bit more about Titanium Oxide, it's not as bad as it initially sounded. I'm just a bit skeptical of what the food industry's been doing in the United States ever since it was revealed that farmers had been feeding their livestock arsenic for over seventy years, yet the FDA nor USDA had done nothing about it.

  • @M3iscool
    @M3iscool 9 років тому +787

    Is Poundland similar to The Dollar Store in America?

    • @EmporerAxel
      @EmporerAxel 9 років тому +92

      Sculpture Junkie yep

    • @joebloggs1691
      @joebloggs1691 9 років тому +55

      Viking War Pickle cheaper tho

    • @AgentTasmania
      @AgentTasmania 9 років тому +178

      +Shan Smet the GBP is worth considerably more than the USD, giving Poundland much more room for decent stuff to still profit

    • @Xenro66
      @Xenro66 9 років тому +40

      +AgentTasmania That's because our economy is better xdddddddd

    • @AgentTasmania
      @AgentTasmania 9 років тому +44

      Jordan O'C Exchange rates are a really weird concept if you think about it

  • @Audioworm
    @Audioworm 7 років тому +4

    "It's like a pun, only shit!"
    That's redundant, Stuart.

  • @JudgeTyBurns
    @JudgeTyBurns 10 років тому +35

    The pizza is aggressive!

  • @xxcutestangelx
    @xxcutestangelx 10 років тому +20

    I bought a sandwich from Poundland for 50p (as it was going to go out do date) It was surprisingly really good and was lacking mould which was also a bonus.

    • @jocookham4810
      @jocookham4810 10 років тому +15

      Are you still alive? ;)

    • @SouthwesternEagle
      @SouthwesternEagle 10 років тому +3

      Mould? Is that the British spelling of "mold"?

    • @flypie86532
      @flypie86532 10 років тому +1

      SouthwesternEagle yeah it is

    • @flypie86532
      @flypie86532 10 років тому +1

      ***** Eagle is American so he asked for the British spelling not from that point of view... You're also right though

  • @veronikafinberg2975
    @veronikafinberg2975 11 років тому +15

    I love how the Domino's ad came on the start for me xD

  • @calk2002
    @calk2002 4 роки тому +9

    6:19 “Appears to be comprised of racist caricatures of all known nations and creeds” 😂

  • @RedLexLuthur
    @RedLexLuthur 8 місяців тому +3

    To this day I use "margarita, wouldn't want to eat ya" as an expression. Thanks Ashens.

  • @missobama1688
    @missobama1688 4 роки тому +8

    Bruh I'm so stupid I didn't realize the video was uploaded in 2011, so I started thinking "shit ashens abouta die"

    • @sponge260
      @sponge260 4 роки тому +2

      Thought exactly the same thing. His vids are exactly the same still

  • @rucu8311
    @rucu8311 5 років тому +5

    I've solved world hunger. One looks at this and no-one will be hungry ever again.

  • @sucio-
    @sucio- 2 роки тому +3

    I love that i can go back 11 years and the format and quality is identical to a video released recently.

  • @Hammerhead547
    @Hammerhead547 10 років тому +25

    "They are capable of making crap in Italy"
    Yes they are...just ask anyone who owned a Lancia Beta.

    • @playit9821
      @playit9821 10 років тому +1

      lol i had 1 of them, it was the worst car of all time

    • @playit9821
      @playit9821 10 років тому

      lol i had 1 of them, it was the worst car of all time

    • @johnbenton4488
      @johnbenton4488 10 років тому +4

      PLAY IT! Lancia Betas were so bad they even stopped importing them to UK A friend of mine had one, and before it's 2nd birthday the engine fell out!

    • @rock1stfan
      @rock1stfan 10 років тому

      Lancia did make fair cars sometimes though.

  • @landrover7487
    @landrover7487 5 років тому +8

    “Quality not quantity”
    Well Poundland certainly did neither with this one

  • @LordSubtext
    @LordSubtext Рік тому +3

    "Unfortunately I don't have a microwave which can directly heat time, but nevermind, perhaps i'll get one in the future." - ashens circa 2011
    Still waiting....

  • @pleasehelpme8561
    @pleasehelpme8561 4 роки тому +1

    I remember watching these when I stayed home for winter break during my first year of college. Five years later I still love them just as much. Ashens is also the reason I say “presumably” more often, and every time I do I think of him

  • @kevinpatrickcarey3741
    @kevinpatrickcarey3741 8 років тому +25

    3:37 looks like it has mold growing all over it

  • @BruellaDeVille
    @BruellaDeVille 8 років тому +30

    *throws hands up for the Pat Sharp joke*

    • @tncorgi92
      @tncorgi92 3 роки тому

      I had to Google him, scarily he and I are almost the same age.

  • @mithrasmusic2336
    @mithrasmusic2336 10 років тому +43

    Its 4am and I'm watching some dude shit jelly beans out of a plastic constipated cow toy and eating them. What the f am I doing with my life

    • @user-ci6oo1uv2k
      @user-ci6oo1uv2k 10 років тому +13

      I am a 13 year old white girl and I have spent the last 3 days of my life marathoning Ashens videos

    • @kenjiyamamoto9452
      @kenjiyamamoto9452 9 років тому

      Amy Rose same i just re watch his food specials and shit

    • @jujukawa8049
      @jujukawa8049 9 років тому +2

      ***** I am a 15 year old and for the past two weeks I have been watching this guy wasting his life on reviewing cheap and bootleg shit.

    • @IamCoalfoot
      @IamCoalfoot 8 років тому +2

      Having an excellent time.

  • @XrisD147
    @XrisD147 7 років тому +5

    I thought this was the most depressing thing I had ever seen then I saw the Christmas Dinner in a Can one.

  • @brandonabdella1595
    @brandonabdella1595 9 років тому +10

    this man is extremely amusing