When you share something with random strangers that you don't know, and "don't mean anything" to you, it means that your "gift" to your husband is equally meaningless.
Exactly if I ever hear that bs line my response will be "so if you threw our relationship away over something that didn't mean anything is that to say our relationship is equally worthless?"
S 1 - Ugh, people like this are blights on humanity. No accountability, no consideration, just pure selfish intent and cowardice. This woman had that divorce coming. Worlds smallest violin for her...
I'm not understanding how OP from the 3rd story thought marrying his brother's ex was going to go well with the family. "My brother's the golden child". The brother could have been bronze and people generally wouldn't be cheering for this.
Story 1 it doesn't matter if the one night stand was 10 years ago, 10 months ago or 10 weeks ago she was in a commitmed relationship. She cheated and I'm glad the husband is divorcing her. Once a cheater always a cheater
Story 1 is fake the ages doesn't line up and is likely rage bait. Unless she cheated in the first few weeks of dating which is weird to start off as long distance as the internet wasn't as prominent back then.
Someone really needs to Get rid of this quote since its pissing me off, and it doesn't even fit here since according to the OP she never cheated once they were married.
It's the lie by omission here that erases all confidence everything she said and done in those married years was in honesty. Had she been honest from the very beginning, things would be different, because husband would have either forgiven her or broken up with her. They'd have found new partners and if learned from that one night "mistake" (it's always conscious and malicious choice to be unfaithful in a relationship) she'd have an uninvolved husband she didn't cheat on and the kids would remain unburdened by all of this.
S1: Even after all these years and the comments telling her not to downplay her actions and own up to it, she's still only thinking of herself. For OP the cheating was years ago, but for him its in the present. Plus, how would Dan know she only cheated once? If she hid that "one time", there's no telling how many others she was hiding.
Story 1: "How do I fix this?" Does nothing but deflect blame, rationalizes her cheating, and sinks further into delusion. "Why are my marriage and family falling apart?"
Story 3: OP is really warped or delusional if he thought his family would celebrate him with open arms by marrying his brother's ex wife. Look I get families can be complicated and suck at times. But under no circumstances would I expect a family to approve marrying a siblings ex wife. That's just weird. If he was dead set on marrying her, he should of just cut off the family. It's not like they were that close to begin with.
Story 1 - Holy gaslight. Cheating is still cheating even if it happened before marriage. The biggest eyeroll was op insisting it was a mistake and acting like Dan is overreacting. Dan just found out. It's not old news for him. If Dan knew he could have made the decision to dump op instead of marrying her and having kids with her. Op really sucks acting like this "old news" is the reason why their family broke apart rather than burying a lie and continuing to lie by omission for YEARS. Dan didn't do anything wrong. Op must have known cheating was clearly a deal breaker regardless of the status of their relationship back then. Op is freaking out because consequences are finally catching up. I would have dumped op too if this were my life. I would never trust that the cheating only happened once. That's what all cheaters say when they're caught. "It didn't mean anything". Cool cool. So you blew up our lives for nothing. Story 2 - what some people see "op has a good stepmom for the fact she held her daughter accountable for the terrible thing she did" but you could also argue that op's stepmom simply threw her own daughter under the bus in order to save her marriage. Op's stepdaughter sounds like a bad person. It's refreshing to hear a story where a mom doesn't enable her crappy kid. Story 3 - It's always a red flag when people rush into marriage after a year or less of dating. You barely know that person. There hasn't been enough time to see how the other person gets during a disagreement or an argument. Secondly was the fact she was all too comfortable to isolate op from his family. How did op figure this wasn't a revenge plan against her ex for divorcing her. Op's fiancee is super sus. Op should have pried into why her previous marriage didn't work out. There should have been a lot more uncomfortable discussions before marriage. Thirdly, this is a betrayal. It's messed up to marry your sibling's ex.
She didn't throw her own daughter under the bus. She tried. Therapy, punishments...the only things left is to b*at her but that's a no no. Her daughter decided to act like this. The mother tried and th dad only wanted to be the fun parent and probably did jack sh*t. Mom thought, " I have a good thing going. I tried with my daughter. I am done." There is only so much you can do.
exactly...i have no clue why they think that using "it meant nothing" can help in any ways, its the worst she can say...she destroyed her marriage fir nothing, that means her marriage us even less than nothing
My heart seriously hurts for OP's kids, especially, for the daughter Mia; when Mia hits 16, she'll take off on OP to couch-surf with fake friends, next, at 18, she'll find solace with) marry a boy who cheats on her, and become an expectant mother on the verge of being homeless, then, take her younger brother with her, move to another state, and stay temporarily with roommates, until after she gives birth, find a cheaper 3-br apartment, work two jobs to provide for her brother, and kid, and rely on neighbors as her support system because she won't have her father or other relatives in her new state to help out; the only family Mia, her brother, and her kid will have is each other.⚠️
Story 3. Esh. The brother for being a drunk ahole. The ex wife/ fiancee was way out of line going for the brother I think she knows what she's doing. She's trying to isolate him and have control to give a kind of f you to the brother. Op is you're going after his ex-sister-in-law. He isn't fooling me he felt his older brother always got over on him when was "The Golden Child" so this was just a way to say f you I finally won.
First story: Op was loyal for 15 years but I bet you the husband was loyal from the beginning. Her 15 to his 18 or whatever. You know the difference is huge. He loved her for 18 years, you loved him for 3 years, slept with another man, then lied to him for 15. Not the same.
Story one the cheating happened in the past that's your past not your husband's it's his present and now he's finding out that you lied to him for 15 years every day for 15 years how would you feel if he told you that he was cheating on you everyday for 15 years because that's how it feels to him
All she see is things that happen 10 years ago that means nothing. But for OP's husband. He sees entirely different thing. To him, he see blatant lie and betrayal for 10 years. The wound is fresh for him and OP's just too stupid or too narcissistic to understand that... What a clown😂
Story 3: Why is Op actually shocked that his brother and parents will be disgusted that he want to marry his brother ex-wife like I get that they were garbage parents but like bro why would u want to marry your brother ex-wife
Op says it doesn't count as cheating because they weren't married and is mad he's divorcing her it's still cheating whether you're married or dating it's still cheating she's trying to make herself the victim
While I do agree with the last OP that technically wasn’t doing anything wrong, marrying his brother’s ex wife, but he’s also completely delusional not understanding why the family would be against it, even if they suck in their own way.
Insane rationalisation as to why she decided not to tell her partner. "I wanted to spare him the pain" Absolute trash. She KNEW he would dump her and tell her to get lost but she wanted her cake and eat it so she screwed around and built everything on a lie instead. Disgusting...
S1: it doesn't matter if you were married at the time or not. you were still in a relationship and cheated with some guy. add to that the fact you are saying he's being entitled and gaslighting him, I don't blame him for wanting a divorce. he can't trust you when you say it was just 1 time in more than a decade of being together. he's going to think the kids might not be his
Story one is a prime example of how a lie by omission can destroy ones own credibility FOREVER. OP needs to realize that by keeping it from him, and the children, she destroyed their trust and nothing she says now can be taken as honest, no matter how sincere OP is in her heart of hearts. The lack of remorse and dismissal because of history compounds the facts. To them, husband and children, by keeping the truth hidden, everything they "built" was built on a lie. Because they will look back at everything OP did and doubt any of that was honest. Let it be a cautionary tale of how lies by omission can be much, much more damaging than lies by falsehood. (Which are easier to debunk, settle and get over) Worse yet, even a lie by omission that doesn't involve a direct relationship can make your family and friends to never trust you again as they won't be sure if you are keeping something they deserve to know too.
S1: It's not just that she cheated one time(which is enough reason to divorce) it's the ONE TIME HUSBAND KNOWS ABOUT! He now has to wonder if there were others.
S1: if she spoke to her husband in the same way that she’s narrating here, it’s little wonder that he’s pulling away. No accountability, no guilt or regret, nothing. I think that’s worse than the cheating itself.
".. and we weren't even married when I cheated .." => "To be clear, I didn't cheat on my husband.." Like, is OP focused on the word HUSBAND? I didnt cheat on my husband, I cheated on my boyfriend.
I cheated on my husband when we were still dating and now he’s divorcing, but he’s entitled somehow. the hell are people on these days man I swear to Christ not an ounce of accountability, self-awareness, humility.
Story 3: “he didn’t RSVP” “he arrived uninvited” why would you invite him to the wedding his ex-wife and his brother, you can’t tell me these two aren’t together just to spite him
None of this would be happening if OP had been honest with her husband when she cheated on him. The husband would most probably break up with her, and that would be the end of their relationship. OP knows that and that's why she hide it from her husband hoping he would never found out or even if he ever found out he would be so involved with her in terms of finances and kids that he would have to forgive her. It doesn't work like that. OP husband would end the relationship as soon as he found out no matter the time. She betrayed him by willingly having intercourse with another man. Alcohol just intensifies what people desire. She showed that she has no problems having intercourse with another man and hides it from her husband for her own sake. Her husband is right: What else is she hiding and not telling ? The trust is gone, and so is her marriage. As Richard Copper stated, women only care about appearances. She doesn't feel bad for betraying her husband. She feels bad for all the shame that being a divorced woman will bring to her in the eyes of everyone and losing the lifestyle she has now. Tough luck ! She should have been honest with her husband, and now she could have been married to another man. But she decided to hide and pretend she was always a faithful woman since they started dating, and she profited from it until now. In the end: she doesn't deserve what she has, and that's why she will lose it.
Story 1: if you did the one night stand BEFORE you and your husband met or even dated (knew each other but didnt hook up or anything) then it wouldn't have been an issue
Story 1. YTA. This woman thinks its no big deal it happend when we were in collage, i was drunk and they were long distance. She lied to him for 15yrs, 15 feaken years he now wonders what else did she lie about. She says she's not the person well that's b******* because she is still defending herself saying it was no big deal it happened a long time ago. Why can't he just get over it. 🙄
Story 1: This is like the short I watched, where the boyfriend found out his girlfriend cheated on him on Thanksgiving and the girl was the one crying in the car like the victim, while continuously saying how it didn't mean anything and they used protection. The boyfriend calmly reminds her that it was her decision and how she lied, and her only counter argument is that he wouldn't answer his phone when she called him, because he was at the gym. Anyway, OP lied by omission of truth, and the fact that they want to treat it as no big deal is making it worse. Yes, the kids are going to be affected by this divorce, but better they grow up in two separate homes than in one toxic one where the love is clearly gone. This is Karma finally catching up with you. If OP lied to him about this, what else did they lie about? Cheating is still cheating, even when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend. Not being married yet, being long distance and being stressed out from work is not a free pass to have one night stands, if you're already in a committed relationship. Stop making excuses. This is your own fault. Story 2: Glad OP was understand as to what exactly happened with their step sister and is respecting her step-mother's wishes to not contact the step sister. Glad step-mother was at least willing to give all the facts. Story 3: OP was never going to earn the approval of their parents or family. Every child deserves good parents, but not every parent deserves a child. From what it sounds like, they didn't deserve one either. You're better off without them.
"I don't want to throw away what we've built together" What you built is a lie; he never would've married you, never would've had kids with you, if he been given an informed choice. He gets to wonder every day what his life should've been, who the actual wife he would've found later would've been like, what the children he never got to have with someone he would've actually wanted to marry would be like. You stole his future and trapped him into a family he never should've been part of, and you act like you were entitled to have it in the first place
It may have been 15 years ago for her but he's just finding out about it now so just because shes had 15 years of making excuses for herself he's just learned his wife is a liar, a cheat and doesnt even feel bad about it.
It didn't matter if that happened before, you were with him isn't it.. so what that mean ? It means you didn't see your husband enough for you... That's why you cheated.. you're not in love with him.. you just married him cuz you want to get married nothing else.. divorce here is better for both.. no respect no commitment no marriage.
Story one the op cheated. Doesn't matter that they weren't married. They were. It sounds like in an exclusive dating relationship and he feels humiliated betrayed and used. It's not quite as bad as had you done it after you had gotten married but that doesn't do away with the hurt you caused him. I would suggest you get into counseling with him and own up to your mistake. There's lots of hurt that you put on him here. The cheating is only of part of it. The lying lying about it for over a decade doesn't help your case at all. I'm sorry to sound judgmental, but the truth is that he feels betrayed all the way deep in his soul. I have no idea how you're going to fix that and it may not be possible. The only person you have to blame for that is yourself.
Story 1: It might be old news to her, but this is recent to the husband. She belongs to the streets. She removed his right to decide on what she did. He could have decided not to marry her at all. I actually hope the kids find out she cheated and that they grow up hating her. Harsh? Definitely. I cannot stand these type of people though. Dan deserves better than her.
How is the husband entitled? 🤣 No, ma'am, you caused this all by yourself and it's not just the cheating, it's the fact you hidden that fact for so long. And if it ruins the childrens lives, that's on her too. Had she been honest about the cheating before they had children, nothing would have been ruined.
It doesn't matter if you feel love for him. You didn't RESPECT him. And through that, your love is tainted. I don't know why this is such a difficult thing for people in relationships to understand. I don't want to dismiss the feelings of life because you CAN love someone in this situation while being a cheater. The issue is that your love isn't enough and likely is based on unresolved issues. Ergo, you can love someone, but if you don't respect them, that love is worthless because it's telling them, at the end of the day, your own feelings of affection and bond couldn't deter you from making awful choices. That's a worthless love.
1) the fact that you didnt tell him and saw that cheating on him "wasnt that big of a deal" and just kept it a secert after all these years, the fact you dont think it is a big deal is a red flag, you need to confess everyhting, becuase you were okay with sleeping with someone else , who you didnt even know and still dont, and hide it, your husband will think of you differently what else could you be hiding? the fact that you still think you can "fix" it makes it worse 2)your stepmom is a great person, and im glad stepmom, are kind and are supportive, 3) NTA your brother was a jerk, and he ruined the relationship, made you innnocent also the fact that you didnt even know he was dating anyone, and just stayed away from his life and didnt talk to anyone from the life especially her (while she was still your SIL), then wehn you met her you didnt even recognised her is also valid, you didn't talk or communicate, before or after the wedding so theres no guilt on you
Okay, wow. I don't think "once a cheater, always a cheater" is necessarily true. I think everyone can change if they really want to and really work on it. BUT, I don't think that's the main issue in the first story. It's the attitude. Your "entitled" husband had the right to know what happened and make a decision based on the full picture before you ever got married. If it meant nothing, that's worse than if you actually fell in love with someone else - cheating is always bad and risking a good thing for nothing? You might have been young and stupid, but this isn't about you, it's about him as well. And being under the influence is NEVER an excuse, unless you were drugged/inebriated without your consent. And of course it matters even today! If I were Dan, I would see the entire foundation of my relationship with you as built on lies. You have to take some responsibility for your actions, because the way you sound now? You're still stupid and your husband and kids will probably be better off without an everyday influence of someone like that. Edit: oh, I wasn't expecting the reactions and the update, guess my comment is kinda redundant Edit2: "something that doesn't even reflect the person I am today" - but it does. You as a person aren't just who you are today, but who you've been for your entire life up to this point. And until you acknowledge and accept that it's solely you and the attitude you've had about the situation that's responsible for the problem, you can't fix it. You shouldn't try to make Dan see things from your flawed POV, that will only rightfully alienate him further.
Story 1: OP cheats on her husband, even though they weren’t married but still in a relationship…yet she calls her HUSBAND “entitled”. 🙄 Doesn’t matter if it was a ONS, let alone how long ago. Good for Dan.
When did she call dan entitled? Also i do feel like both the parents are asses because while OP is horrible for cheating, Dan is also horrible for ruining the life of his children.
@@DurvishZadoo Four seconds into the story, if you had been paying attention. 0:04 And why should Dan allow OP to get away with that? Sets a terrible example for the kids.
@@princessmarlena1359 Brother that's the title this channel picked, it wasn't written on the reddit post and the first few seconds of the story always repeat the title.
@@princessmarlena1359 "sets a terrible example for the kids" WHY would you even traumatize the kids with information like that? Also this saying refers to DV, no kid will be like " Oh I heard mommy cheated, cheating is so fun" that's not how Kids even think. Dan is still an AH for destroying the lives of his kids.
S1: As OP is incapable of taking accountability, change anything about her selfish entitlement, just offer him the easiest divorce possible. If you eant an answer for why, he would have dumped your ass at the time if he had known the truth. You then lied and covered it up for years. You wasted *both* of your lives when you could have been with others yo make you happy. Realize when you keep something from your partner for years, you are actively taking away their informed consent. I don't know if it's SA everywhere, but it is a violation every single time.
Story #1 OP has bigger issues than her cheating. She cannot even acknowledge what she did to her husband. She got comfortable telling herself it didn't matter, and because SHE thinks that, she believes everyone should, including her husband. She's lying to herself to make herself feel better, oblivious to the fact that in doing so, she's only hurting her family more. Where's the empathy? Is she even capable of it? When was the last time she had to compose herself, summon all her resolve and look her own children in the eye, hoping to see something familiar... some part of herself? She's never had to do that, she gave birth to them, she knows their hers. Her husband now has reason to doubt that they're his. And that doesn't mean he will love his kids any less, but he's wondering if the next time he looks at his children, who will be looking back? His child? Will he just see the face of the woman who betrayed and lied to him, or will he see something of a stranger in their face? OP has never had to imagine that, yet she's forced her husband to live it. Does she understand that in the best case scenario, those kids are his, which means they're only half monsters, on their mother's side. The doubt she created and spent 15 years nurturing with lies has changed the way he sees his children, not just her. That doesn't mean he'll think less of them, but it's jarring to know who else is raising them and teaching them things like ethics and accountability. And if it was "No big deal", then why didn't she tell him? You don't hide something for 15 years because it is of no consequence. Her logic doesn't even make sense in the context of her own actions. OP does love her husband, that much is evident. But to protect herself from feeling any guilt for her actions, she's more than willing to down-play her actions, gas-light him and blame him for not responding the way she thinks he should. Sometimes, reconciliation IS possible. This is not one of those cases. OP is too delusional to even speak about her own culpability honestly.
St3 OP seems to be very self centred, maybe even selfish all he talks about is how He didnt get what he want and how He felt robbed pf a loving family. He thinks its unfair how he gets treated and think others should support Him. I think he either needs help or a serious talk with a therapist. Plus stuff dont add up, he say he didnt care about his brother ex but say it felt like catching up with an old friend when he met her. I feel like a good half of the story is missing and think we need to hear the brother side to have a full picture.
*STORY 2:* It sounds like Stepmom tried really hard to have stepsis get along with everyone. W Stepmom though for ultimately not tolerating that kind of behavior. Over a decade of estrangement and counting. A lot of people aren't willing to cut toxic people out like that. Stepsister still has inheritance and funds she had been promised, but stepmom just doesn't want a relationship. I can't blame her. You go years of improved mental health from cutting out toxic people and suddenly they want to reconnect and possibly bring you right back down to one of your lowest points? No thanks.
7:22 he is wrong for throwing it away over a long distance 10yr old when it wasnt even serious and you are wrong too for brushing it away. You should suggest couple therapy and stuff before.. . He got chance to get away he is taking it.
Who says it wasn’t serious? That’s a big fkn assumption. We have no concept of how long the relationship had been going on but she gives enough context clues to tell us it was serious (or she’s had said it because they weren’t really exclusive/serious).
Personally I wouldn’t of divorced, cause new foundations and commitments had been formed - def therapy and would’ve moved out for a bit though. I completely understand Dan, if you’ve lied about something for over a decade, what else are you lying about.
But it's not your decision it's his and his feelings and concerns are valid and logical and should be respected, downplaying the whole thing is just deflecting and whiney
Tbf if they could lie about being loyal for a decade then there's no reason to believe she hasn't cheated since at all . Therapy might give some hope but there's no way a guy could just forget something like that and if someone could forgive that then they're way more forgiving than me
@ and OP’s conscious couldn’t force her to come clean either, it takes a special type of narc to hold that in for so long. Woudlve been slightly different if they came clean by themselves l.
You need to figure out why you think cheating is so unimportant, why you gave it up to someone you don't even know. See, men put women into two catgories, Wife material and hoe. Cheaters ALWAYS go into the hoe category, and there is NO GOING BACK to wife material. Now the husband no longer sees her as wife material.
Like the slitty men who have numerous one night stands while they are at "business" meetings but tell their wife if means nothing, it's just sex. Def not husband material.
"it didn't mean anything to me"
This is part of the problem. You betrayed your relationship for something that meant nothing to you.
When you share something with random strangers that you don't know, and "don't mean anything" to you, it means that your "gift" to your husband is equally meaningless.
Exactly if I ever hear that bs line my response will be "so if you threw our relationship away over something that didn't mean anything is that to say our relationship is equally worthless?"
@@diffsnickerAnd then watch them try to respond with the most blank, hopeless expression and line of excuses you've ever heard.
She gets to cheat and decide that it wasn't a big deal all by herself lmfao what a narc
Dan isn't being eNtItLeD.
It's called being disrespected.
And once he leaves you, he regains his dignity.
That's a special kind of gaslighting right there. Downplays it but uses language that tries to avoid it as much as she can 😂
It's called Womanese
"I didn't cheat on my husband, we weren't married yet so it doesn't count"
"Ugh it doesn't matter just get over it" so much regret
S 1 - Ugh, people like this are blights on humanity. No accountability, no consideration, just pure selfish intent and cowardice. This woman had that divorce coming. Worlds smallest violin for her...
Says she hates cheating yet she cheated herself. Ma'am. 🤣
I'm not understanding how OP from the 3rd story thought marrying his brother's ex was going to go well with the family. "My brother's the golden child". The brother could have been bronze and people generally wouldn't be cheering for this.
Agreed. Some people have zero boundaries.
Imma put this here if the brother did this. rhe family wouldn't care.
Story 3 was vendictive. Who marries their sister in law and doesnt realize the family will disown you
"why won't Dan ignore my mistakes and forgive me, even though i never even said i was sorry"???
Story 1 it doesn't matter if the one night stand was 10 years ago, 10 months ago or 10 weeks ago she was in a commitmed relationship. She cheated and I'm glad the husband is divorcing her. Once a cheater always a cheater
Story 1 is fake the ages doesn't line up and is likely rage bait. Unless she cheated in the first few weeks of dating which is weird to start off as long distance as the internet wasn't as prominent back then.
@@demonvictimIt can still happen, and who cate if it's fake? It's entertainment.
Someone really needs to Get rid of this quote since its pissing me off, and it doesn't even fit here since according to the OP she never cheated once they were married.
It's the lie by omission here that erases all confidence everything she said and done in those married years was in honesty. Had she been honest from the very beginning, things would be different, because husband would have either forgiven her or broken up with her. They'd have found new partners and if learned from that one night "mistake" (it's always conscious and malicious choice to be unfaithful in a relationship) she'd have an uninvolved husband she didn't cheat on and the kids would remain unburdened by all of this.
@@DurvishZadooSo you believe a proven liar.
S1: Even after all these years and the comments telling her not to downplay her actions and own up to it, she's still only thinking of herself. For OP the cheating was years ago, but for him its in the present. Plus, how would Dan know she only cheated once? If she hid that "one time", there's no telling how many others she was hiding.
I would be getting a DNA tests for the kids.
@ Faxs. If I was Dan I would too.
Story 1: "How do I fix this?"
Does nothing but deflect blame, rationalizes her cheating, and sinks further into delusion.
"Why are my marriage and family falling apart?"
Story 3: OP is really warped or delusional if he thought his family would celebrate him with open arms by marrying his brother's ex wife. Look I get families can be complicated and suck at times. But under no circumstances would I expect a family to approve marrying a siblings ex wife. That's just weird. If he was dead set on marrying her, he should of just cut off the family. It's not like they were that close to begin with.
Unless they willingly want to share, it's weird to marry a siblings' ex. It sounds like they both wanted to hurt the brother.
Story 1 - Holy gaslight. Cheating is still cheating even if it happened before marriage. The biggest eyeroll was op insisting it was a mistake and acting like Dan is overreacting. Dan just found out. It's not old news for him. If Dan knew he could have made the decision to dump op instead of marrying her and having kids with her. Op really sucks acting like this "old news" is the reason why their family broke apart rather than burying a lie and continuing to lie by omission for YEARS. Dan didn't do anything wrong. Op must have known cheating was clearly a deal breaker regardless of the status of their relationship back then. Op is freaking out because consequences are finally catching up. I would have dumped op too if this were my life. I would never trust that the cheating only happened once. That's what all cheaters say when they're caught. "It didn't mean anything". Cool cool. So you blew up our lives for nothing.
Story 2 - what some people see "op has a good stepmom for the fact she held her daughter accountable for the terrible thing she did" but you could also argue that op's stepmom simply threw her own daughter under the bus in order to save her marriage. Op's stepdaughter sounds like a bad person. It's refreshing to hear a story where a mom doesn't enable her crappy kid.
Story 3 - It's always a red flag when people rush into marriage after a year or less of dating. You barely know that person. There hasn't been enough time to see how the other person gets during a disagreement or an argument. Secondly was the fact she was all too comfortable to isolate op from his family. How did op figure this wasn't a revenge plan against her ex for divorcing her. Op's fiancee is super sus. Op should have pried into why her previous marriage didn't work out. There should have been a lot more uncomfortable discussions before marriage. Thirdly, this is a betrayal. It's messed up to marry your sibling's ex.
She didn't throw her own daughter under the bus. She tried. Therapy, punishments...the only things left is to b*at her but that's a no no. Her daughter decided to act like this. The mother tried and th dad only wanted to be the fun parent and probably did jack sh*t. Mom thought, " I have a good thing going. I tried with my daughter. I am done." There is only so much you can do.
"it didnt matter, it was nothing!'
And your spouse will see that they mattered even less cause you did it.
exactly...i have no clue why they think that using "it meant nothing" can help in any ways, its the worst she can say...she destroyed her marriage fir nothing, that means her marriage us even less than nothing
It's so funny when cheaters say, cheating is just a mistake...
3rd story…cmon dude, no matter how shit your family treated you, you don’t marry your brothers ex wife.
right? How's he going to act like this wouldn't piss his relatives off?
Right. He is messy
the family wouldn't care if the brother did it
@ true. Doesn’t change the fact that he shouldn’t be marrying his brothers ex-wife however…
@@gtc9966 why care? They're adults they get to be with whoever they want
Story 1 (why do my actions have consequences?) She's finally reaping what she sowed.
My heart seriously hurts for OP's kids, especially, for the daughter Mia; when Mia hits 16, she'll take off on OP to couch-surf with fake friends, next, at 18, she'll find solace with) marry a boy who cheats on her, and become an expectant mother on the verge of being homeless, then, take her younger brother with her, move to another state, and stay temporarily with roommates, until after she gives birth, find a cheaper 3-br apartment, work two jobs to provide for her brother, and kid, and rely on neighbors as her support system because she won't have her father or other relatives in her new state to help out; the only family Mia, her brother, and her kid will have is each other.⚠️
S3: There's no way either of them didn't even have subconscious thoughts about spiting his brother.
8:00 News flash, you were, if it wasn't a big deal? Why did you never confess? Oh right because we know why
She didn't confess because he wouldn't have married her.
Story 3. Esh. The brother for being a drunk ahole.
The ex wife/ fiancee was way out of line going for the brother I think she knows what she's doing.
She's trying to isolate him and have control to give a kind of f you to the brother.
Op is you're going after his ex-sister-in-law.
He isn't fooling me he felt his older brother always got over on him when was "The Golden Child" so this was just a way to say f you I finally won.
to cheat on someone and call them entitled...
I'll never understand how some minds work
First story: Op was loyal for 15 years but I bet you the husband was loyal from the beginning. Her 15 to his 18 or whatever. You know the difference is huge. He loved her for 18 years, you loved him for 3 years, slept with another man, then lied to him for 15. Not the same.
Story one the cheating happened in the past that's your past not your husband's it's his present and now he's finding out that you lied to him for 15 years every day for 15 years how would you feel if he told you that he was cheating on you everyday for 15 years because that's how it feels to him
The anticipation for your next chapter is real - you’ve hooked us, and now we can’t wait to see where the story goes! ⏳🌟
All she see is things that happen 10 years ago that means nothing. But for OP's husband. He sees entirely different thing. To him, he see blatant lie and betrayal for 10 years. The wound is fresh for him and OP's just too stupid or too narcissistic to understand that... What a clown😂
S1: You cheat you deserve watever consequences follow doesn’t matter wen u did it or how long you did it and your scum.
She cheated. Its 15yrs for her its today for him. She lost the husband because he doesnt trust him
Story 3:
Why is Op actually shocked that his brother and parents will be disgusted that he want to marry his brother ex-wife like I get that they were garbage parents but like bro why would u want to marry your brother ex-wife
Op says it doesn't count as cheating because they weren't married and is mad he's divorcing her it's still cheating whether you're married or dating it's still cheating she's trying to make herself the victim
To make matters worse, it's pretty clear that she's going to use the children as emotional blackmail to keep Dan tied down.
Happy holidays to everyone.
Thank you, and happy holidays to you, too.🤗🎄
While I do agree with the last OP that technically wasn’t doing anything wrong, marrying his brother’s ex wife, but he’s also completely delusional not understanding why the family would be against it, even if they suck in their own way.
He's trash for doing that.
It may have happened 15yrs ago to Op, but it felt like it happened yesterday to the ex hubby
Insane rationalisation as to why she decided not to tell her partner. "I wanted to spare him the pain"
Absolute trash. She KNEW he would dump her and tell her to get lost but she wanted her cake and eat it so she screwed around and built everything on a lie instead. Disgusting...
S1: it doesn't matter if you were married at the time or not. you were still in a relationship and cheated with some guy. add to that the fact you are saying he's being entitled and gaslighting him, I don't blame him for wanting a divorce. he can't trust you when you say it was just 1 time in more than a decade of being together. he's going to think the kids might not be his
“I can’t feel the guilt he wants me to feel“
Well that’s because you’re not a person.
Story one is a prime example of how a lie by omission can destroy ones own credibility FOREVER. OP needs to realize that by keeping it from him, and the children, she destroyed their trust and nothing she says now can be taken as honest, no matter how sincere OP is in her heart of hearts. The lack of remorse and dismissal because of history compounds the facts. To them, husband and children, by keeping the truth hidden, everything they "built" was built on a lie. Because they will look back at everything OP did and doubt any of that was honest.
Let it be a cautionary tale of how lies by omission can be much, much more damaging than lies by falsehood. (Which are easier to debunk, settle and get over) Worse yet, even a lie by omission that doesn't involve a direct relationship can make your family and friends to never trust you again as they won't be sure if you are keeping something they deserve to know too.
What full-blown narcissism on display right here
"We weren't married" as if that's like a separate life
S1: It's not just that she cheated one time(which is enough reason to divorce) it's the ONE TIME HUSBAND KNOWS ABOUT! He now has to wonder if there were others.
If you were together regardless of if you were married or not… it’s cheating. The mental gymnastics are strong with this one.
So one gets to cheat but also to decide how hurt the other party should be
Story 3. OP is the AH.
S1: if she spoke to her husband in the same way that she’s narrating here, it’s little wonder that he’s pulling away. No accountability, no guilt or regret, nothing. I think that’s worse than the cheating itself.
".. and we weren't even married when I cheated .." => "To be clear, I didn't cheat on my husband.."
Like, is OP focused on the word HUSBAND? I didnt cheat on my husband, I cheated on my boyfriend.
I cheated on my husband when we were still dating and now he’s divorcing, but he’s entitled somehow. the hell are people on these days man I swear to Christ not an ounce of accountability, self-awareness, humility.
Story 3: “he didn’t RSVP” “he arrived uninvited” why would you invite him to the wedding his ex-wife and his brother, you can’t tell me these two aren’t together just to spite him
Together 15 years and married for 12 years. This happened in that 3 years when they were together but not married yet.
Wait a minute did I read that right?
Brain: Yep
Hello everyone, narrator here! Hope you enjoy the video, thanks for watching!!!
None of this would be happening if OP had been honest with her husband when she cheated on him. The husband would most probably break up with her, and that would be the end of their relationship. OP knows that and that's why she hide it from her husband hoping he would never found out or even if he ever found out he would be so involved with her in terms of finances and kids that he would have to forgive her. It doesn't work like that.
OP husband would end the relationship as soon as he found out no matter the time. She betrayed him by willingly having intercourse with another man. Alcohol just intensifies what people desire.
She showed that she has no problems having intercourse with another man and hides it from her husband for her own sake.
Her husband is right: What else is she hiding and not telling ?
The trust is gone, and so is her marriage.
As Richard Copper stated, women only care about appearances. She doesn't feel bad for betraying her husband. She feels bad for all the shame that being a divorced woman will bring to her in the eyes of everyone and losing the lifestyle she has now.
Tough luck !
She should have been honest with her husband, and now she could have been married to another man. But she decided to hide and pretend she was always a faithful woman since they started dating, and she profited from it until now.
In the end: she doesn't deserve what she has, and that's why she will lose it.
She stole his right to do an informed decision
Story 1: if you did the one night stand BEFORE you and your husband met or even dated (knew each other but didnt hook up or anything) then it wouldn't have been an issue
Story 1. YTA. This woman thinks its no big deal it happend when we were in collage, i was drunk and they were long distance.
She lied to him for 15yrs, 15 feaken years he now wonders what else did she lie about.
She says she's not the person well that's b******* because she is still defending herself saying it was no big deal it happened a long time ago.
Why can't he just get over it. 🙄
Story 1: This is like the short I watched, where the boyfriend found out his girlfriend cheated on him on Thanksgiving and the girl was the one crying in the car like the victim, while continuously saying how it didn't mean anything and they used protection. The boyfriend calmly reminds her that it was her decision and how she lied, and her only counter argument is that he wouldn't answer his phone when she called him, because he was at the gym.
Anyway, OP lied by omission of truth, and the fact that they want to treat it as no big deal is making it worse. Yes, the kids are going to be affected by this divorce, but better they grow up in two separate homes than in one toxic one where the love is clearly gone. This is Karma finally catching up with you. If OP lied to him about this, what else did they lie about? Cheating is still cheating, even when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend. Not being married yet, being long distance and being stressed out from work is not a free pass to have one night stands, if you're already in a committed relationship. Stop making excuses. This is your own fault.
Story 2: Glad OP was understand as to what exactly happened with their step sister and is respecting her step-mother's wishes to not contact the step sister. Glad step-mother was at least willing to give all the facts.
Story 3: OP was never going to earn the approval of their parents or family. Every child deserves good parents, but not every parent deserves a child. From what it sounds like, they didn't deserve one either. You're better off without them.
27:38 This guy has so many issues, it's insane.
Story 3. A wise man should not follow family into business, and should NEVER follow family into women.
I find it bIzarre she thinks because she hasnt thought about it in years that it shouldnt matter to her husband.
And that's exactly her problem. She thinks it's ancient history, but for the husband, it just happened.
"I don't want to throw away what we've built together"
What you built is a lie; he never would've married you, never would've had kids with you, if he been given an informed choice. He gets to wonder every day what his life should've been, who the actual wife he would've found later would've been like, what the children he never got to have with someone he would've actually wanted to marry would be like. You stole his future and trapped him into a family he never should've been part of, and you act like you were entitled to have it in the first place
I'm in a long distance relationship we make it work we communicate openly
Story 1. Op is crazy for not trying to fix things rather than waiting to address it
It may have been 15 years ago for her but he's just finding out about it now so just because shes had 15 years of making excuses for herself he's just learned his wife is a liar, a cheat and doesnt even feel bad about it.
Story 3: The OP is messy.
If he was the cheater, she would have accepted it. Most women are really spineless.
And if that truly was the case, it would ultimately prove that she and her husband have very different morals than what they initially thought.
It didn't matter if that happened before, you were with him isn't it.. so what that mean ? It means you didn't see your husband enough for you...
That's why you cheated.. you're not in love with him.. you just married him cuz you want to get married nothing else.. divorce here is better for both.. no respect no commitment no marriage.
Story one the op cheated. Doesn't matter that they weren't married. They were. It sounds like in an exclusive dating relationship and he feels humiliated betrayed and used. It's not quite as bad as had you done it after you had gotten married but that doesn't do away with the hurt you caused him. I would suggest you get into counseling with him and own up to your mistake. There's lots of hurt that you put on him here. The cheating is only of part of it. The lying lying about it for over a decade doesn't help your case at all. I'm sorry to sound judgmental, but the truth is that he feels betrayed all the way deep in his soul. I have no idea how you're going to fix that and it may not be possible. The only person you have to blame for that is yourself.
There must be slim pickings wherever OP in story 3 lives.
So now you cheated, and your husband figured out that his entire relationship with you was based on a lie. Make this make sense!
Story 1: It might be old news to her, but this is recent to the husband. She belongs to the streets. She removed his right to decide on what she did. He could have decided not to marry her at all. I actually hope the kids find out she cheated and that they grow up hating her. Harsh? Definitely. I cannot stand these type of people though. Dan deserves better than her.
How is the husband entitled? 🤣 No, ma'am, you caused this all by yourself and it's not just the cheating, it's the fact you hidden that fact for so long. And if it ruins the childrens lives, that's on her too. Had she been honest about the cheating before they had children, nothing would have been ruined.
It doesn't matter if you feel love for him. You didn't RESPECT him. And through that, your love is tainted. I don't know why this is such a difficult thing for people in relationships to understand. I don't want to dismiss the feelings of life because you CAN love someone in this situation while being a cheater. The issue is that your love isn't enough and likely is based on unresolved issues. Ergo, you can love someone, but if you don't respect them, that love is worthless because it's telling them, at the end of the day, your own feelings of affection and bond couldn't deter you from making awful choices. That's a worthless love.
S1: “i don’t approve cheating” proceed to give dumb reasons to cheat and not being honest to him
Once a cheater always a cheater.
F off, I don't even disagree that OP definitely had the divorce coming but i hate this quote so much
Example 3,573,285 of
ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY!
1) the fact that you didnt tell him and saw that cheating on him "wasnt that big of a deal" and just kept it a secert after all these years, the fact you dont think it is a big deal is a red flag, you need to confess everyhting, becuase you were okay with sleeping with someone else , who you didnt even know and still dont, and hide it, your husband will think of you differently what else could you be hiding? the fact that you still think you can "fix" it makes it worse
2)your stepmom is a great person, and im glad stepmom, are kind and are supportive,
3) NTA your brother was a jerk, and he ruined the relationship, made you innnocent also the fact that you didnt even know he was dating anyone, and just stayed away from his life and didnt talk to anyone from the life especially her (while she was still your SIL), then wehn you met her you didnt even recognised her is also valid, you didn't talk or communicate, before or after the wedding so theres no guilt on you
Okay, wow. I don't think "once a cheater, always a cheater" is necessarily true. I think everyone can change if they really want to and really work on it. BUT, I don't think that's the main issue in the first story. It's the attitude. Your "entitled" husband had the right to know what happened and make a decision based on the full picture before you ever got married. If it meant nothing, that's worse than if you actually fell in love with someone else - cheating is always bad and risking a good thing for nothing? You might have been young and stupid, but this isn't about you, it's about him as well. And being under the influence is NEVER an excuse, unless you were drugged/inebriated without your consent. And of course it matters even today! If I were Dan, I would see the entire foundation of my relationship with you as built on lies. You have to take some responsibility for your actions, because the way you sound now? You're still stupid and your husband and kids will probably be better off without an everyday influence of someone like that.
Edit: oh, I wasn't expecting the reactions and the update, guess my comment is kinda redundant
Edit2: "something that doesn't even reflect the person I am today" - but it does. You as a person aren't just who you are today, but who you've been for your entire life up to this point. And until you acknowledge and accept that it's solely you and the attitude you've had about the situation that's responsible for the problem, you can't fix it. You shouldn't try to make Dan see things from your flawed POV, that will only rightfully alienate him further.
Day 150 of telling secretvoices to have a good day. Also Merry Christmas Secretvoices!
Modern women allergic to accountability
Even after the end she still doesn't get it
Story 1: OP cheats on her husband, even though they weren’t married but still in a relationship…yet she calls her HUSBAND “entitled”. 🙄 Doesn’t matter if it was a ONS, let alone how long ago. Good for Dan.
When did she call dan entitled? Also i do feel like both the parents are asses because while OP is horrible for cheating, Dan is also horrible for ruining the life of his children.
@@DurvishZadoo Four seconds into the story, if you had been paying attention. 0:04 And why should Dan allow OP to get away with that? Sets a terrible example for the kids.
@@princessmarlena1359 Brother that's the title this channel picked, it wasn't written on the reddit post and the first few seconds of the story always repeat the title.
@@princessmarlena1359 "sets a terrible example for the kids" WHY would you even traumatize the kids with information like that? Also this saying refers to DV, no kid will be like " Oh I heard mommy cheated, cheating is so fun" that's not how Kids even think. Dan is still an AH for destroying the lives of his kids.
S1: As OP is incapable of taking accountability, change anything about her selfish entitlement, just offer him the easiest divorce possible. If you eant an answer for why, he would have dumped your ass at the time if he had known the truth. You then lied and covered it up for years. You wasted *both* of your lives when you could have been with others yo make you happy.
Realize when you keep something from your partner for years, you are actively taking away their informed consent. I don't know if it's SA everywhere, but it is a violation every single time.
Story #1
OP has bigger issues than her cheating. She cannot even acknowledge what she did to her husband. She got comfortable telling herself it didn't matter, and because SHE thinks that, she believes everyone should, including her husband. She's lying to herself to make herself feel better, oblivious to the fact that in doing so, she's only hurting her family more.
Where's the empathy? Is she even capable of it?
When was the last time she had to compose herself, summon all her resolve and look her own children in the eye, hoping to see something familiar... some part of herself? She's never had to do that, she gave birth to them, she knows their hers. Her husband now has reason to doubt that they're his. And that doesn't mean he will love his kids any less, but he's wondering if the next time he looks at his children, who will be looking back? His child? Will he just see the face of the woman who betrayed and lied to him, or will he see something of a stranger in their face? OP has never had to imagine that, yet she's forced her husband to live it. Does she understand that in the best case scenario, those kids are his, which means they're only half monsters, on their mother's side. The doubt she created and spent 15 years nurturing with lies has changed the way he sees his children, not just her. That doesn't mean he'll think less of them, but it's jarring to know who else is raising them and teaching them things like ethics and accountability.
And if it was "No big deal", then why didn't she tell him? You don't hide something for 15 years because it is of no consequence. Her logic doesn't even make sense in the context of her own actions.
OP does love her husband, that much is evident. But to protect herself from feeling any guilt for her actions, she's more than willing to down-play her actions, gas-light him and blame him for not responding the way she thinks he should.
Sometimes, reconciliation IS possible. This is not one of those cases. OP is too delusional to even speak about her own culpability honestly.
Manipulative to the very end
St3 OP seems to be very self centred, maybe even selfish all he talks about is how He didnt get what he want and how He felt robbed pf a loving family. He thinks its unfair how he gets treated and think others should support Him.
I think he either needs help or a serious talk with a therapist.
Plus stuff dont add up, he say he didnt care about his brother ex but say it felt like catching up with an old friend when he met her.
I feel like a good half of the story is missing and think we need to hear the brother side to have a full picture.
*STORY 2:* It sounds like Stepmom tried really hard to have stepsis get along with everyone. W Stepmom though for ultimately not tolerating that kind of behavior. Over a decade of estrangement and counting. A lot of people aren't willing to cut toxic people out like that. Stepsister still has inheritance and funds she had been promised, but stepmom just doesn't want a relationship. I can't blame her. You go years of improved mental health from cutting out toxic people and suddenly they want to reconnect and possibly bring you right back down to one of your lowest points? No thanks.
Delulu
Calming that your husband is entitled just for OP go on an entitled rants 😅.
Story 1 YTA!!!
S1 is she sure his the father of the daughter
First story is fake.
Yikes story 1.
The attempts at justifications that the first OP has going are _wild..._ 🤦
Women and Accountability go together like peanut butter and relish
☕
S1: If you're in a relationship with a female, some part of it is built on a lie.
7:22 he is wrong for throwing it away over a long distance 10yr old when it wasnt even serious and you are wrong too for brushing it away. You should suggest couple therapy and stuff before..
.
He got chance to get away he is taking it.
Who says it wasn’t serious? That’s a big fkn assumption. We have no concept of how long the relationship had been going on but she gives enough context clues to tell us it was serious (or she’s had said it because they weren’t really exclusive/serious).
Personally I wouldn’t of divorced, cause new foundations and commitments had been formed - def therapy and would’ve moved out for a bit though. I completely understand Dan, if you’ve lied about something for over a decade, what else are you lying about.
But it's not your decision it's his and his feelings and concerns are valid and logical and should be respected, downplaying the whole thing is just deflecting and whiney
@ can you not read?
Tbf if they could lie about being loyal for a decade then there's no reason to believe she hasn't cheated since at all . Therapy might give some hope but there's no way a guy could just forget something like that and if someone could forgive that then they're way more forgiving than me
@ therapy could only work on certain people aswell. OP isn’t willing to properly take accountability and whole heartedly see why he’s so upset.
@ and OP’s conscious couldn’t force her to come clean either, it takes a special type of narc to hold that in for so long. Woudlve been slightly different if they came clean by themselves l.
You need to figure out why you think cheating is so unimportant, why you gave it up to someone you don't even know. See, men put women into two catgories, Wife material and hoe. Cheaters ALWAYS go into the hoe category, and there is NO GOING BACK to wife material. Now the husband no longer sees her as wife material.
Like the slitty men who have numerous one night stands while they are at "business" meetings but tell their wife if means nothing, it's just sex. Def not husband material.
The last op is trashy
100% Agree.